I once observed a fellow classmate hide from a loud and noisy dirt bike.
He was a kid of wimpy kid that was two grades younger than myself. I didn’t know him personally, but since we both attended the same small school, so I knew of him.
So, here I am hiking alone in the woods. There was a hilltop, and I was sitting on an isolated rock and just enjoying the view. It was a quiet and peaceful Summer day. Perhaps late Pennsylvania July or early August.
![e18ec77d b292 4be6 9e83 7e5848641064 e18ec77d b292 4be6 9e83 7e5848641064](https://metallicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/e18ec77d-b292-4be6-9e83-7e5848641064.jpg)
As I sat there I watched this neighborhood kid ride his bicycle though the field that lay below me.
It was a nice field. With tall tan grass, with sporadic trees here and there. Off in the distance is another wood, and behind that some low wooded hills.
The kid was a lot like me when I was growing up. Kind of shy, easily intimidated, and kind of a loner. Just walking (or riding a bicycle) to find solace in life.
![riding riding](https://metallicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/riding.png)
Then I hear this terrible noise. This guy, maybe in his early 20’s is tearing up the countryside in a dirt-bike. No muffler, just screaming loudly. And just tearing in and out of the peaceful meadow.
And the kid, hearing and then seeing him approach, tossed his bicycle down, and climbed up the nearest tree. It’s a state of protection, and (though I never did it myself) totally understood.
After the dirt-biker left, he scrambled down from the tree, picked up his bicycle and headed in the opposite direction of the guy on the dirt bike.
It’s not that the young man on the bike meant him any harm, but that in those parts (Western Pennsylvania), if you are a kid and alone, and a group of older boys come around… well, you scram. It usually meant torture, hassles and abuse.
And this is what the kid did. He hid.
It’s a tale of my boyhood, and while no one is going to make a television drama out of it, it well illustrates what the world was like when young boys are in the in between ages with no real father role models, an indifferent school and classmates, and a hostile outer world. You hide to protect yourself.
This is the reality of American boyhood.
Peace out.
What was the shortest first date you ever had?
It was essentially over before it began.
He came to pick me up at my house (I still lived at home then, I was still in college.) I had two rescue dogs, Max and Brady. Both super friendly, gentle dogs that greeted him with wagging tails and an eagerness to get chin scratches and tummy rubs.
Well, this guy was pretty much up on the ceiling trying to get away from my dogs. We said good bye to my mom, and we’re walking to his car. He said “I know it’s not your fault, you still live at home. I just don’t understand why anyone would want filthy animals in their house! Just more motivation for you when you graduate, I suppose.”
At that point I said to him “look, I’m not going to waste your money or my time.” (He has very specific ideas as to who was supposed to pay on dates.)
He laughed me off. I had to tell him that I was serious. I’m an animal loved to my core. It’s a part of who I am. I could never, ever live without having pets.
It all worked out though. That was about 16 or 17 years ago. For the last 14 years, I have been married to the most wonderful man. He’s as much of an animal lover as I am.
It’s worth not setting.
Lai Ching-te openly said in his inaugural speech that “the Republic of China Taiwan is a sovereign, independent nation,” a claim which has never appeared in the inaugural speeches of previous leaders of the Taiwan region. What does this mean?
I am from Chinese Mainland, an ordinary IT worker.
In the speeches of successive ROC presidents, it has been emphasized that “governance power” is not subordinate to each other. Now, for the first time, the concept of non subordination of sovereignty has been proposed. So, even from the legal perspective of ROC, it violates the Constitution of the Republic of China.
Two recent incidents have made me feel sick.The first time was when LQBT people danced in front of a photo of ROC’s founding father Sun Yat sen.Another time was when President LAI was sworn in under Mr. Sun’s photo.
I have read about the history of the Republic of China. What may surprise some Taiwanese is that Sun Yat sen enjoys a great and lofty position in the narration of the CPC. This photo was taken by me 30 minutes ago while waiting for a red light. It is the busiest road in my city, called “Zhongshan Road”, named after Mr. Sun:
![main qimg 6e395bed282a4d823d567a52829822c5 main qimg 6e395bed282a4d823d567a52829822c5](https://metallicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/main-qimg-6e395bed282a4d823d567a52829822c5.jpeg)
In the narration of the CPC, the party inherited Mr. Sun’s will, completely overthrew the decadent and reactionary emperor and the imperialist enemy, and made China a country that will never be invaded by foreign powers.
Mr. Sun’s tomb is located in the capital city of Nanjing, my province. During holidays, there is a sea of people there, and Chinese people go to the tomb on their own without official organizations to commemorate Mr. Sun.
As the first President of the Republic of China, Sun Yat sen would angrily jump out of the coffin if he knew that a self righteous successor had announced that the highest goal of the Republic of China was “no longer China” – according to Chinese jokes.
Friends, a timeline of solitary evolution in human history has disappeared in 2024. Whether some people are happy or angry, the great revolution of the Republic of China and its founders has completed its historical mission.
The great changes in the world always start with a careless little thing. If any member of the Kuomintang of China sees my article, please answer a question: How have you done with the will of Sun Yat sen, the founding father of the country? Isn’t there any shame or sadness?
Note: People in Chinese Mainland view the election result with high spirits.
Wishing all Chinese people around the world.
Is it currently safe to travel around China? If not, which parts of China should be avoided?
Dear, please avoid the night in all Chinese cities. Stay in the hotel. There is good food everywhere, and if you eat one every day, it won’t be repeated for a year. It will make your calorie control plan fail completely.
Because the fragrance will float to your nose, and then you have a chance to look for the fragrance and see what is in a certain direction. Then you see queues of up to 20m, 50m long, everyone waiting quietly to buy a flavoured source. You wonder why China has returned to the era of material shortage of the planned economy. Then, unnaturally, you join the queue and wait 20 minutes to buy food you’ve never eaten before. After eating, you joined another queue.
What is the evidence? On YouTube, it seems that every foreign blogger who has been photographing China for a long time – travel blogger, cultural blogger, economic blogger, Ended up as food bloggers.
How America Destroyed the German Economy
How to kill the ‘zombie’ cells that make you age
Researchers are using new molecules, engineered immune cells and gene therapy to kill senescent cells and treat age-related diseases.
Would it be possible to throw everything away and spend the rest of your life living in a rainforest?
See the little scar on my ankle, the purplish one.
![main qimg c015ff731a515bc27b1b54d045bc4438 lq main qimg c015ff731a515bc27b1b54d045bc4438 lq](https://metallicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/main-qimg-c015ff731a515bc27b1b54d045bc4438-lq.jpeg)
I was walking through the jungle and caught my leg on low branch. It stuck into my leg. When I got home I rinsed it, probed the wound with my tweezers and scalpel and plastered the whole thing with antiseptic cream. A few days later I was at the doctor’s having a local anaesthetic whilst he cut the wound open, drained it and then removed the small piece of wood that was lodged there.
Not significant if you can visit a local doctor
![main qimg 67e2109f8dda40fb419a69729d278565 lq main qimg 67e2109f8dda40fb419a69729d278565 lq](https://metallicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/main-qimg-67e2109f8dda40fb419a69729d278565-lq.jpeg)
I visited a friend yesterday. He’s in hospital with the same sort of injury that I had. He was a muppet and ignored the infection. His leg is black to almost the knee. In areas it looks like the skin is sloughing off. Giant deflated blisters. There are red streaks running upwards. He’s been in hospital for 5 days now. The Doctor reckons that it will take another 5–10 days for him to be released. (The above picture is not of him. I really couldn’t find any publicly available photos on google that showed the blackness.)
![main qimg 3bc1887e65ec00235dbf9cdabb42ab09 lq main qimg 3bc1887e65ec00235dbf9cdabb42ab09 lq](https://metallicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/main-qimg-3bc1887e65ec00235dbf9cdabb42ab09-lq.jpeg)
Of course I had another friend, a hasher, who ran with a foot infection. His toes turned black but he delayed going to hospital. Work trip. He had multiple amputations of his leg as they tried to stop the spread of the septicaemia. I should have gone to his funeral.
(Look up limb gangrene images if you want. It’s not nice)
Why is this relevant?
I spend 5 – 10 hours running in the Jungle/Rainforest each week. I’ve mapped in detail about 600km2 of the Titiwangsa range in Malaysia. I am one of the fastest mountain runners in Malaysia. That experience really means squat when it comes to surviving in the jungle with nothing.
EVERY time I go into the jungle I carry a knife, first aid kit, rations for a day and a small survival kit. With this I may be able to survive up to a week. I even carry morphine because out of phone coverage and by myself I have to self rescue. 20km with a broken leg is a shitty thing to cope with if no one comes to rescue you.
From what I can see, and have been taught by the indigenous inhabitants, most of the great food is up in the canopy. At the right time of year. At the wrong time of the year even the monkeys can’t get food. They migrate to the forest edge and steal trash to survive.
I am white guy who’s only been doing this for a few years.
Would I do any better if I had grown up in the jungle?
Most inhabitants, called Orang Asli in Malaysia, live in small villages. These are surrounded by concentric rings of fruit trees, banana, durian, rambutan, guava, jackfruit and more. That’s because a hunter gatherer existence in the forest is too hard. Limited farming plus hunter gathering is ok.
However, many of the skills take a LONG time to acquire.
A few years ago, 7 small children ran away from their boarding school. They were Orang Asli, aged between 7 and 11. They and their parents lived in the jungle. They survived for 46 days. Well, 2 did.
The others died from starvation, impalement on bamboo stakes, drowning and being eaten by a monitor lizard.
It’s tough. The jungle is neutral. If you treat it with respect then likely enough you will be treated with respect. If you don’t then you will have a terrible time.
Going in with nothing is rank stupidity.
Paul Theroux, in his book “Mosquito Coast”, had this idea. The reality was that he traded off white privilege and took enough goods with him to replicate a planter lifestyle. That ended with failure as well.
If you do it I hope that after a few hours you realise how uncomfortable and dangerous it is and take steps to save yourself. If not then you will be lucky to be found. The kids mentioned in the article above were less than 2km from home and were only found after 46 days because someone saw one of their corpses floating in the river.
If you throw everything away you can spend the rest of your life in the rainforest.
Personally I would like nothing better. That’s why I spend so much time there.
The harsh reality is that, like me, you will get infected wounds but with no modern medicine you will soon die.
What is important to most people is quality of life. You cannot have that in the jungle, with just the clothes on your back, without losing most of the benefits of 20,000 years of human development.
Shorpy
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What is something a bartender did that you will never forget?
Several years back, a group of us ended up at a local bar after a friends funeral. Friend had died young, and the funeral had turned into a 2 hour hellfire and brimstone sermon that none of us were prepared for.
It was mid day, and the group of us were the only ones there, just catching up since it had been years. Bartender finally comes up and starts talking with us. We told him we were all there coming from our friends funeral.
A few moments later, he brings out a round of shots for all of us (him included) and one for our friend. He gave a quick toast, and we poured that one out for our friend.
Didn’t charge us for the shots (there were maybe 10 of us there). And continued hanging out with us while he could.
A random gesture from a stranger that day really helped all of us to get out of the post funeral funk and really celebrate the life our friend had had.
Juicy Roast
![juicy roast juicy roast](https://metallicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/juicy-roast.jpg)
Ingredients
- 1 (2 1/2 pound) chuck roast
- 1 envelope dry onion soup mix
- 1 (.75 ounce) package dry brown gravy mix
- 1 1/2 cups juice of choice (apple, orange, cran-raspberry, etc.)
Instructions
- Place roast in slow cooker.
- Sprinkle dry mixes over roast.
- Pour juice over the top.
- Cover and cook on LOW for 6 to 8 hours.
Another Scandal Hits California While McDonald’s Considers Leaving the State
If a police vehicle is tailgating you, should you speed up, maintain speed, slow down, or pull over and stop?
I was out with my family one night, left lane, cruise control set to 70 in a 65, and passing people. A Sheriff came flying up behind me, probably going 85–90 mph without lights on, which made the vehicle look like any other Dodge Durango.
I set my cruise down to 65 in an attempt to slot into the middle lane, which applies the brakes of the car because of how its cruise control works. Dude decides to light me up for it.
I pull over and he asked why I hit the brakes because he was on a call. I explain to him that’s how the cruise control works in my car and that I was trying to get out of his way. He tells me he’s going to write me a ticket because I brake checked him and that he did have his lights on. I tell him that not only did he not, that I was also going to show him the replay. I proceeded to download the last 5 minutes from my dash cam system to my phone, footage showing him flying up on me, and then asked if he really wanted for me to present the video as evidence against him in court.
“Have a good night, sir, and drive safely.”
You too, Deputy Doofy, you too.
Moral of the story:
Pass left, drive right, and get yourself a dash cam system with front and rear cameras to protect yourself from everyone else’s BS.
Edit:
First – thanks for the 4700+ upvotes. This is wild for me – I haven’t had this much traction on anything I’ve posted since running a meme page on Facebook. I appreciate all of you who enjoyed or related to this.
Second – For all the people who are assuming I’m one of those people that camp in the left lane, a little note about the road I was on that night – three lanes, slight congestion, people in the left lane going between 45–55, people in the middle lane going 55–60. In the states of Missouri and Kansas, you have the right to be in the passing lane as long as you’re passing people, then you’re required to get back over as soon as you safely can. I was following that law.
Third – Yes, I know traditional cruise control uses engine braking to slow down your vehicle when you adjust speed. Adaptive cruise control uses the brakes to slow down. This is true for Mazda and across many other brands of vehicles, but not all.
Fourth – For those interested in buying a dash cam, I have a Nextbase 522GW camera system with a rear camera in my Mazda and some Rexing thing in my wife’s Chevy, I think the R4 but I’d have to look. The 4-channel Rexing is also handy for navigating tight corners in parking garages since her car doesn’t have backup sensors or an “birds-eye view” camera system. I’m not posting links as I have no interest in becoming an affiliate, I just like to suggest what works for me and isn’t too expensive while still being decent quality.
Fifth – While taking the evidence to court would be a thing to do, I’d rather avoid the courtroom or giving my lawyer money if I can.
China surpasses U.S. as India’s top trade partner despite “boycott” rhetoric
In 2023, China surpassed the United States to become India’s largest trading partner, a seemingly absurd news that contradicted India’s previous “boycott Chinese goods” movement reported in the media. Data showed that in 2023, India’s total trade with China reached $118.4 billion, slightly higher than $118.3 billion with the US. Of this, India imported $101.8 billion from China but exported only $16.6 billion, resulting in a massive trade deficit of $85.2 billion.
A closer look at India’s $101.8 billion imports from China in 2023 revealed that 98.5% were industrial products, with Chinese goods accounting for as high as 43.9% of electronics, telecommunications equipment and electrical appliances. This reflected the reality that despite India’s calls to “boycott Chinese goods”, Chinese products still held a significant market share in India due to their superior cost-performance.
In fact, India’s “boycott Chinese goods” movement was largely a superficial gesture. Taking pulse oximeters as an example, despite Indian media reports of the “boycott movement”, Chinese pulse oximeters still occupied 98% of the Indian market. The reason was that if Chinese pulse oximeters were truly boycotted, ordinary Indian citizens would not be able to afford them, harming their livelihoods.
Beyond consumer goods, India was also highly dependent on Chinese products in the industrial raw materials sector. In 2023, 71% of India’s bulk drugs came from China; 69% of yarn imported by India originated from China. Prohibiting the use of Chinese raw materials would directly lead to higher costs for Indian products and a decline in industrial competitiveness.
Overall, although India exhibited nationalistic sentiments to “boycott Chinese goods”, practical economic interests meant that India found it difficult to completely boycott Chinese products in areas where the cost-performance ratio could not be easily replaced. This led to a continued increase in India’s imports from China in 2023, making China its largest trading partner.
On the other hand, India’s imports from the US plunged 20% in 2023, mainly due to the Fed’s interest rate hikes driving up US manufacturing costs. In comparison, India’s dependence on Chinese goods was more thorough.
It is noteworthy that while India had a huge trade deficit with China, it enjoyed a $36.7 billion trade surplus with the US. From trade data alone, it seemed that the US was “boycotting” Indian goods, while China “generously” welcomed Indian products into its market.
In reality, from 2019 to 2023, India’s imports from China grew from $70.3 billion to $101.8 billion, but its exports to China fell from $16.75 billion to $16.67 billion. During this period, the US contributed a $337 billion surplus to China, and India $85.2 billion, together accounting for nearly half of China’s total surplus.
Following business logic, “the customer is king”. Although the US and India treated China “excessively” in rhetoric, China had to tolerate their “petty behavior” due to the enormous benefits they brought. Only when the US and India run out of funds will China refuse to tolerate such conduct.
In summary, despite the apparent contradictions, China’s surpassing of the US as India’s largest trading partner reflected India’s inability to completely boycott highly cost-effective Chinese products in livelihood and industrial sectors. Meanwhile, the US seemed to “boycott” Indian products to a greater extent, leading to an interesting contradiction among the three countries in trade.
Slam Dunk
Last night was the weekend. My seventh-grade child spent the entire evening discussing the Japanese anime “Slam Dunk” with me. He talked about every aspect of the show—from the multiple storylines to the theme song, the fate of the characters, and the main character Hanamichi Sakuragi’s injury. Then he told me that this show has been a constant source of strength for him.
My child is 13 years old. I’ve never heard him speak so earnestly, especially during a casual family conversation. It was particularly striking because these serious words were about an anime. So, I asked him what had happened.
He then shared the lessons he learned from the show. For instance, even if you’re not a genius, you can achieve greatness through hard work. And repeated failures did not crush these young boys. Basketball was their youth and life. Troubled youngsters found their way back to the team through basketball and were accepted by everyone. These touching storylines almost perfectly mirrored his own middle school life. Therefore, he constantly learns from these beloved characters in his studies.
Next, we discussed the movie adaptation of “Slam Dunk.” We talked about the movie’s dark tones and the main character’s family troubles. My child told me that the entire movie left him with a subtle sadness. I asked him where this sadness came from. He mentioned the death of the protagonist’s brother and the failures and injuries in the tournament.
I thought for a moment and shared my perspective—that sadness is a multifaceted emotion, not just stemming from the story itself but also from the passage of youth. The beautiful youthful years, the most glorious vitality in life, inevitably fade away as one grows.
I hope my child can have a youth without regrets. To study, explore, embrace nature, connect with the world, give and receive love, understand civilization, and understand the nation and society. I am grateful for “Slam Dunk,” which was also my favorite thirty years ago. Classic works never go out of style and always provide strength.
Terrible Simpsons Predictions For 2024
What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever said in a foreign language by accident?
I was actually quite proud of my progress in learning the Chinese language. I was living in Shanghai, and I had learned how to count: “Ee, arr, sun…”
The next morning, I approached a steamed bread vending shop and ordered proudly: “Arr Baoz’i!”
I could swear that life stopped around me.
For emphasis, I indicated the number with my fingers, and got my steamed bread. At the office, my secretary explained to me that “arr” wasn’t really used to indicate quantity, and that I had actually said something more like “stupid dumplings.”
My Chinese learning has slowed down a bit since then.
![main qimg 0f59a1b4e6784f6149d9e3b3ecc9482b lq main qimg 0f59a1b4e6784f6149d9e3b3ecc9482b lq](https://metallicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/main-qimg-0f59a1b4e6784f6149d9e3b3ecc9482b-lq.jpeg)
![main qimg b6f9d5cef3d4417d8b7711c35287bf82 lq main qimg b6f9d5cef3d4417d8b7711c35287bf82 lq](https://metallicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/main-qimg-b6f9d5cef3d4417d8b7711c35287bf82-lq.jpeg)
Another time, I decided to tell a taxi driver my address in Chinese instead of showing him a hand written card, as usual: “3, Yuyao Lu.” To this day, I have no idea what he understood, but he was spewing tea all over the inside of his windscreen and laughed so hard and so long that I thought he was going to have a seizure. Never before had I heard someone laugh so heartily, with such mirth. The poor guy was in tatters.
In the end, I found the silly card. I still heard the driver laugh out loud helplessly even as he pulled away twenty minutes later, once I had disembarked at my apartment.
![main qimg 7790eebb0bfd9339934c465f9efd687c lq main qimg 7790eebb0bfd9339934c465f9efd687c lq](https://metallicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/main-qimg-7790eebb0bfd9339934c465f9efd687c-lq.jpeg)
These days, I let my wife do the talking when we are in China.
Compilation: UFOs & Aliens!
Can I ask a cute police officer for his phone number? Is it okay to do this?
I did this once. I was walking back to my car after dinner with some friends and noticed a police officer was writing parking tickets up ahead. She was one car away from mine. I looked at my watch, realized my meter was expired, so I broke into a dead sprint.
By the time I got there, I was completely out of breath, but she was already behind my car, jotting my license plate number into her ticket book. I had my hands on my knees, head down, desperately trying to catch my breath, but I asked, “This is my car. Can you please not give me a ticket?”
I finally caught my breath, looked up, and was face-to-face with a stunning woman. She gave me a crooked smile and said, “Sure. Only because you worked so hard to get here in time and because you asked nicely. It’s your lucky day.” She tore it up and started to walk away.
I took a deep breath to gather up some courage and asked, “Hey. Can I ask for another favor?”
She asked, “What’s that?”
I asked, “Can I get your phone number?”
She said, “Sorry. It is your lucky day, but not that lucky.”
Denied.
UPDATE: Some have noted that she was a meter maid, not a police officer. Yes, this is true, but I didn’t really know the difference back then. What I did know for sure is that she didn’t give me the ticket, looked very nice in her uniform, and was smoking hot. (Doing my best to keep descriptions as PG as possible.)
The Kids Aren’t Alright: Facing the Hard Truths About Childhood Trauma and Neglect
Let’s get real about the fucking elephant in the room: childhood trauma. The kind of shit that happens when you’re a kid that fucks you up so badly, you spend the rest of your life trying to un-fuck yourself. I’m talking about abuse, neglect, abandonment – the experiences that teach you, before you’re even old enough to spell your own name, that you’re worthless, unlovable, and unsafe in your own goddamn home. It’s a topic that makes people squirm, because it forces us to confront the ugly reality that we’re failing our kids on a massive scale.
But we can’t afford to look away anymore, because the effects of childhood trauma don’t just magically disappear when you blow out the candles on your 18th birthday cake. They shape every aspect of your adult life – your relationships, your mental health, your sense of self-worth. And until we start talking about it, acknowledging it, and working our asses off to prevent it and heal it, we’re going to keep seeing the same cycles of addiction, homelessness, abuse, and dysfunction playing out on repeat like a fucking broken record.
We’re about to dive into some heavy shit. But it’s shit we need to talk about, because the only way out is through. And I promise you, there is a way out – but it starts with staring the darkness in the face and refusing to blink.
When you experience trauma or abuse or neglect as a kid, it doesn’t just hurt you in the moment. It fundamentally reshapes your understanding of yourself and your place in the world. It’s like a fucking earthquake that shatters the very foundation of your identity.
See, when you’re little, you don’t have a fully formed sense of self. You’re basically just a sponge, soaking up messages from your environment about who you are and what you deserve. And if those messages are consistently negative – if you’re being told through words or actions that you’re worthless, that you’re unlovable, that you’re a burden – then that becomes your default programming.
And when those messages are hammered home through abuse – physical, emotional, sexual – it’s even more devastating. Because abuse isn’t just painful in the moment, it’s a soul-level mindfuck that tells you, “You are so worthless that you deserve this. You are so unlovable that the people who are supposed to care for you are instead violating you in the most intimate ways possible.” Abuse teaches you that you’re not safe in your own body, in your own home, in your own fucking skin. It teaches you that the people who are supposed to protect you are actually the ones you need protection from. And that kind of betrayal, that kind of fear and confusion and shame – that shit buries itself bone-deep.
And that belief gets wired into your nervous system. It becomes the lens through which you see yourself and interpret the world around you. So no matter what happens later in life, no matter how many people tell you that you’re smart or talented or worthy, there’s always this voice in the back of your head saying, “Nah, they’re just being nice. If they really knew me, they’d see what a piece of shit I am.”
Trauma and neglect teach you that you’re not safe, that you’re not worthy of protection or love or respect. And that’s a fucking hard lesson to unlearn, because it’s not just a thought or a belief – it’s a felt sense, a visceral knowing that’s rooted in your earliest experiences of the world.
And the thing is, that kind of early damage doesn’t just go away on its own. It’s not like you hit 18 and suddenly you’re a well-adjusted adult with a healthy sense of self-worth. That shit stays with you, coloring every relationship, every career move, every decision you make about how to move through the world.
It’s why you see so many people who grew up in fucked up situations struggling with addiction or abusive relationships or self-sabotage. They’re not just making bad choices because they’re stupid or weak – they’re acting out the only story they know, the one that says they’re damaged goods, that they don’t deserve anything better.
And breaking free of that story is a fucking marathon, not a sprint. It takes years of therapy, of self-reflection, of learning to rewire those deep neural pathways that tell you you’re garbage. It takes surrounding yourself with people who reflect back your inherent worth, even when you can’t see it yourself. It takes a daily practice of choosing to act like you matter, even when every fiber of your being is screaming that you don’t.
So when we look at someone who’s struggling with homelessness or addiction or any other manifestation of a shattered sense of self, we can’t just write them off as lazy or weak or hopeless. We have to have some fucking compassion for the battle they’re fighting every day, just to feel like they deserve to take up space, to draw breath, to exist.
And we have to recognize that the solution isn’t just about providing housing or rehab or job training – although those things are important too. It’s about healing the deepest wounds, the ones that convince a person they’re irreparably fucked up and unworthy of love.
It’s about creating a society where every child is treated as inherently valuable, where no one grows up believing that they’re disposable or broken or undeserving of care.
Because when we shatter a person’s self-worth, we shatter their ability to function in the world. And until we learn to put those pieces back together, to heal the deepest hurts, we’re just putting band-aids on compound fractures and wondering why people aren’t magically fixed.
We have to do better. We have to go deeper. We have to give a shit about the pain people are carrying, and work like hell to make sure no one else ever has to carry it again.
That’s the only way out of this mess – hard fucking work, and a whole lot of give-a-damn. There are no easy answers, but there is a path forward. If we’re willing to walk it.
Everywhere I go I see “Help Wanted” signs. None of these jobs pay minimum wage anymore and yet they go unfilled. What’s happening?
Originally Answered: Every where I go I see "Help Wanted" signs. None of these jobs pay minimum wage anymore and yet they go unfilled. What's happening?
The simplest answer is : The person who needs the work done can’t find anyone to do the job for the terms they are offering.
![main qimg 41ef304b229ec8446acfc67ab79c4536 pjlq main qimg 41ef304b229ec8446acfc67ab79c4536 pjlq](https://metallicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/main-qimg-41ef304b229ec8446acfc67ab79c4536-pjlq.jpeg)
Here’s a salient quote :
Last year, he received 1,051 applications and found only 25 people who were qualified. He hired all of them, but soon had to fire 15. Part of Isbister’s pickiness, he says, comes from an avoidance of workers with experience in a “union-type job.” Isbister, after all, doesn’t abide by strict work rules and $30-an-hour salaries. At GenMet, the starting pay is $10 an hour. Those with an associate degree can make $15, which can rise to $18 an hour after several years of good performance. From what I understand, a new shift manager at a nearby McDonald’s can earn around $14 an hour.
The going rate is 30$, he only wants to pay 10$. For a job that requires 5–10 years of experience and skill.
How does this man own a factory?
There is a lot that goes into a ‘good’ job –
Most workers want a single job at a single location with regular hours that is not too dirty and that allows them to keep a shirt on their back, a roof over their head, and allows them to save a little bit, and maybe grow so that someday they can have a spouse and children. Most people don’t mind occasionally putting in a few extra hours, assuming that those extra hours get a bit more pay.
Most employers want someone who will show up on time, put in a good day’s work, not complain too much, display adaptability and flexibility, and look out for their employers’ interest just enough to avoid unforseen disaster.
If a job goes unfilled, it’s because one of the parties is not generally willing to provide what most of the other parties want.
What is the funniest thing you have heard someone say when they are angry?
My friend was savagely drunk and stumbling home from the bar when he decided it would be fun to kick over some garbage cans.
Doing his best imitation of kung fu poses, he began screaming like Bruce Lee as he kicked the cans left curbside for morning pickup. At 3 am. On a residential street.
His impromptu reenactment of Enter the Dragon woke one of the neighbors, who called the cops.
As the officers were cuffing my idiot friend and trying to get him into the back of a police cruiser, he was incensed and insisted he was being falsely arrested. As they were closing the door he screamed:
“YOU’RE MAKING A HUGE MISTAKE! I KNOW MY RIGHTS, I WATCH LAW AND ORDER!”
I had to bail the idiot out the next morning. At the time I was employed in my first post-graduation job as a late night crime reporter for a newspaper, so I knew the cops. They gleefully told me about Mr. Law & Order’s drunken lectures on criminal law before letting me take him home.
Of course he didn’t remember a damn thing, but he never lived the Law & Order incident down. For the rest of his time at the paper, whenever there was a newsworthy incident involving a drunk someone would pipe up with some variation of “too bad he didn’t watch Law and Order!”
5 Aircrafts US Secretly Tests To Wipe Out China! World Shocked!
The Brutal Truth About Professional Bodybuilding
Look, I’m all for pushing yourself and striving to be your best. Setting ambitious goals, working your ass off, making sacrifices to achieve them – that’s admirable stuff. But there’s a line between dedicating yourself to a challenging pursuit, and straight up abusing your body. And when it comes to professional bodybuilding, that line isn’t just crossed, it’s obliterated.
Let’s be real here. You don’t get to be a top level competitive bodybuilder by practicing healthy, balanced habits. We’re talking about guys who are 5’9″ and 280 lbs in the off-season. That’s not accomplished by eating a sensible diet and training hard a few times per week. It requires consuming a ridiculous 8,000+ calories per day and injecting obscene amounts of anabolic steroids and other drugs.
But the off-season is just the beginning. Leading up to a competition, they’ll radically cut calories and amp up the workouts to shed 30-40 lbs in a matter of months. The drug stack shifts to hardcore cutting agents like trenbolone and clenbuterol. Diuretics are added at the end to achieve that totally peeled, dehydrated look on stage. It’s an incredibly grueling and unnatural process to put a body through.
Sure, from the outside it may look impressive – I mean, these physiques are otherworldly. You can’t help but be in awe of that degree of muscularity and definition. But the reality is that it’s just not healthy. You’re forcing your body to crazy extremes, first bulking it up far beyond normal capacity, then starving and dehydrating it down to skin and sinew. And you’re doing it over and over, year after year.
I don’t care what the pro bodybuilders say – all that stuff about how they’re perfectly healthy and do it the “right way.” Give me a break. Your organs don’t care that the drugs are pharmaceutical grade or that your 9,000 calorie diet is “clean.” Abuse is abuse. And the toll this takes long-term on the body is severe. You don’t get to be 300 lbs with 4% body fat without paying a steep price.
Look, if an extreme physique is really someone’s dream and they feel it’s worth the sacrifices, I can’t stop them from pursuing that. But I sure as hell am not going to play along with the convenient fiction that it’s a healthy endeavor. Let’s at least be honest that it’s self-destructive on a fundamental physiological level.
Ultimately, I think a lot of it comes down to self-acceptance. If you can’t be satisfied without turning yourself into a sideshow freak, you’ve got some deeper issues to confront. There’s more to life than being a mass monster. You can build an awesome physique while still treating your body with respect. Work hard, but be kind to yourself. Push yourself, but not at the expense of your health. That’s the sustainable path.
But what do I know? I’m just a guy who believes in moderation and not doing stupid shit. If you want to chase glory on the bodybuilding stage, by all means, go for it. Just don’t expect me to pretend it’s anything other than a profoundly unhealthy pursuit. The human body was not meant to endure that kind of self-inflicted abuse. But I guess that’s not as catchy of a slogan for the supplement companies to put on a t-shirt.
Are China’s air and sea forces now capable of enforcing a blockade of Taiwan?
Yes. Due to Taiwan’s close distance to China, approximate 100 miles away and the small size of Taiwan.
This places any attacking foreign force well within all of China’s weapon delivery systems. And it is NOT just ASBMs (hypersonic anti-ship ballistic missiles). The problem for the US is that every Chinese weapon system outranges the US ones. And that is not an accident.
China has been studying the US Air Sea Battle strategy for 30 years and devising tactics and weapons to beat the US, NATO, Japan, SK, Australia, and India at the same time.
If the US dares to show up. The US fleet would be wiped out. The US knows how this scenario turns out. The Pentagon has been running thousands of simulations for the last 10 years. And the simulations has gotten worse for the US as time went by.
High-Value Man TRIGGERED American Women After He Told Them They Aren’t Wife Material
There is currently an argument in Quora, was the PVA considered a peasant army? Did a peasant Army manage to defeat the mighty US?
Even a worm will turn! They are both a peasant army and battle-hardened warriors.
Yes, most of the PVA Soldier were farmers, Even Mao and Peng was born into a peasant family and worked in farming locally. What they enjoyed most was living and farming in a peaceful environment, but the invading army that was eyeing them did not give them such an opportunity.
As they themselves say: We fight all the wars that we have to fight, so that our children and grandchildren will be saved from warfare.
![main qimg 4d624603f627d55c10575b1f25cf4738 lq main qimg 4d624603f627d55c10575b1f25cf4738 lq](https://metallicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/main-qimg-4d624603f627d55c10575b1f25cf4738-lq.jpeg)
They often found some ammunition boxes next to the frontline tunnels and grew vegetables. Since you can pass the time, you can also see hope by watching these seeds germinate and see the sprouts grow. Under the hail of bullets, they still maintained their strong will, maintained their yearning for life, and survived the difficult moments in their lives.
![main qimg 4d98d9d1134efc54440453ade8594112 main qimg 4d98d9d1134efc54440453ade8594112](https://metallicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/main-qimg-4d98d9d1134efc54440453ade8594112.jpeg)
Before his death, an American veteran wrote a short essay of about ten pages confessing his heartfelt feelings. In it, he recounted his experience of fighting with the Chinese volunteers in the Korean War in a physical battle that plunged him into that kind of despair and horror. In his short essay he says this:
I didn’t feel much fear about physical combat because I fought bayonets with Japanese soldiers in World War II and killed them.
Although every Japanese soldier shouted ‘Be loyal to the emperor and fight to the end’, I clearly saw fear and cowering in their eyes.
But when I fought with the Chinese on the Korean battlefield, I saw no fear in their eyes, as if they were not fighting you at all.
Sometimes when they reach the last moment of their life, they don’t dodge at all, but use their last strength to grab you. They even use their teeth to bite any part of your body, they don’t want to live at all, their purpose is to die with you.
They are like messengers from hell, you don’t even dare to look into their eyes, that kind of gaze scares people to death.
What’s even more frightening is that when the Chinese blow their horns, the shrill sound is like the sound of a bell counting down to death, because you instantly feel that you have been sentenced to death. So you get so scared that you shoot randomly with your hands and turn around and desperately run away, and I was really lucky that I didn’t get killed by them.
What made you realize your life will never be the same?
In February 2024, my best friend thought she had a pinched nerve because her foot was tingling and then starting to feel “dead“. She had lost almost all feeling in it, and it started to go up her leg. She had an MRI of her lower back, which showed nothing and they thought it might be in her upper back or her neck. When they did a second MRI they saw that she had a tiny tumor on her neck. She went to a neurologist who sent her for a third MRI of her brain. It turned out the tumor on her neck was benign, but they also found a glioblastoma brain tumor , that is 100% fatal. This is my best friend for the last 48 years. She’s been on treatment and in June she was supposed to find out how much good the treatment had done in shrinking the tumor and giving her more time. Last week she could barely wake up and the little bit she was awake, she couldn’t keep track of what was going on or who was in the room with her. Of course we got her to the hospital in an ambulance. Her entire brain swelled and they were afraid they were going to lose her. She was put on massive steroids and they did another MRI, which said the tumor has not shrunk. It has grown. There’s an excellent chance I won’t even be able to see her for Christmas, we text 50 times a day, I don’t have a single clue how I can possibly survive without her.
What is the most bizarre way you’ve landed a job?
I was unemployed and down to my last $20. A friend was having a party and persuaded me to spend my last $20 on booze and show up at the party. “What are you going to do with $20, invest it in the stock market? Have some fun. You’ll be fine.”
I went and a couple of hours into the party some drunk bastard yelled out, “Anyone looking for a job?”
I was well past the legal limit and answered back, “Me!” He told me to show up at his house at 7AM Monday.
Spent years working for and with that crew installing carpet. Made a ton of money and worked my a$$ off. Blood and sweat.
Mary Nell’s Goetta
Ingredients
- 1 pound ground round
- 1 pound Bob Evans Zesty Pork Sausage
- 6 cups water
- 4 bay leaves
- Pinch of pepper
- 1 tablespoon salt
- 1 large onion, chopped
- 2 1/2 cups pinhead oats
Instructions
- Put water, salt and pepper in a slow cooker.
- Cover and cook on HIGH for 20 minutes.
- Add pinhead oats and cook on HIGH for 1 1/2 hours.
- Mix meat well and add to slow cooker with onion and bay leaves.
- Cook on LOW for 3 hours.
- Uncover and, if not thick enough, cook longer, stirring often.
- Pour into greased bread pans and cool.
- Refrigerate, and fry until browned.
“Am I wrong for telling my girlfriend I don’t want her going for a drink with her ex?”
I have been with my girlfriend for just under 3 years. She has had 2 previous relationships that both ended when they cheated on her. Her first boyfriend she has not spoken to in 6 years and the other one she hasn’t spoken to in 4 years.
Her first boyfriend recently messaged asking how she has bene and just wanting to catch up. She told me about it and told me she was planning on replying. I told her I didn’t see why she’d want to bother talking to him when he’s not in her life anymore but just said I can’t stop her talking to him.
She told me a couple more times when he messaged but I believe they have been messaging slightly more than that. She mentioned today that he suggested them going for a drink with a few other friends and catching up. I told her I wasn’t comfortable with her going and she asked why. I just told her it’s disrespectful to be out drinking with your ex. She said she just wants to catch up with him and the other friends but I just repeated that I wasn’t comfortable with her going.
I said if she chooses to go then that will be it with us since I’m no going to just sit back while she’s out drinking with her ex boyfriend. She said I was being controlling but I just pointed out I was only tell her what I am comfortable with and what I’m not comfortable with.
She said I shouldn’t be telling her not to go and should be fine with her going.
Here’s the deal: If your girlfriend’s planning to catch up with her ex in a group setting, why aren’t you invited? That’s a legitimate question to ask.
Let’s cut to the chase: she’s basically telling you she wants to go out and party with her ex. Most people would find that pretty disrespectful. It’s not about you being insecure; it’s about mutual respect. She knows his intentions, and if she’s entertaining his advances, that’s a red flag. If someone cheats on you, cutting them off completely is the norm for most people. Why she would want drinks with someone who disrespected her so badly speaks volumes.
You have every right to set boundaries in your relationship. It’s not about controlling her; it’s about maintaining respect and trust. She’s free to go, but as you’ve clearly stated, there’s a cost to that. If she chooses to prioritize a night out with her ex over your comfort and trust, then maybe it’s time to reevaluate what you both want from this relationship.
At the end of the day, it’s about finding common ground. Have an honest conversation about your boundaries and see if she respects them. If not, it might be time to consider whether this relationship is what you both need.
ANOTHER RUSSIAN NUCLEAR RADAR HIT
This makes two in one week. Very concerning.
Which habit changed your life?
I worked at four startups in two years.
They all failed.
And they were in four different markets: pharmaceuticals, real estate, crowdfunding, and the music industry.
So I founded my own company, an online publication.
A year later, that failed, too.
Then I became the VP of Marketing for a mobile app company that failed.
I lost all my money.
Had zero job prospects.
So I moved into my Dad’s tiny apartment.
Without space, we slept in the same room.
I got a job as a copywriter that paid $12 an hour. It was awful.
At the same time, I made a decision to read for five hours every day on average.
This led to 170 books read over the next year about psychology, business, and marketing.
A few months after my copywriting gig, I had saved enough money to take a risk.
To work at a Facebook software company where I got paid half.
In eight months, I led their marketing.
Landed a few clients, then wrote a book about Facebook marketing.
Took that credibility, became the head of growth for a venture-backed company in San Francisco.
Then the head of growth for a 50-million-dollar VC firm.
Next the growth evangelist for one of the fast-growing SaaS companies.
Today, I’m the co-founder and CEO of a multi-million-dollar company.
Entirely bootstrapped.
The lesson –
Adopt the habit of persistency.
Persistent enough to where you’ll pursue what you want no matter where you live, how much money you make, or connections you have.
If you want results, do what 99% of people won’t.
What is the most disgusting experience you have had at another person’s house?
I am a Code Enforcement Official; I’ve seen some nasty stuff.
When I first started my job, years ago we were called by child services to render a decision on if a mobile home was habitable. They were looking to remove the two children. It was mid week…very hot outside…we knocked on the door. The door swung open with a loud thump as this decrepit old trailer rocked.
A large woman in her nightgown…at around 11AM no less, was filling the tiny doorway, cigarette hanging out of her mouth. The cigarette smoke rolling out of this tiny place was unbelievable.
In we went…I first noticed a giant big screen TV (the vintage style, that are about 3 foot deep) across from a nasty old couch…with roughly 18 inches of path to walk between. To this day I have no idea how they watched a TV that large being so close up.
We noticed open dried-out cans of cat food, roaches picking the last of the meat out of them. Wires hung low exposed everywhere, and the bathroom reeked of urine, roaches and feces.
We made our way to the back, and there were two small children who should have been in school…but they weren’t. Instead they were playing with their trucks on the floor, giving roaches rides in them, dumping them out of the dump truck bed. To them, it was like the roaches were little friends, there to play with.
I had seen enough to render my part (the electrical) worthy of shutting off. I went to leave…this is where it gets nasty…er.
The master bedroom door (a curtain or blanket nailed to the door frame) began to move. I laid eyes on him…quite a spectacle…I’d say he was late forties, probably 5′ 10″, 350 pounds, and naked. Smoking a cigarette, he begins to tell me how horrible the neighborhood is, how the cops are worthless etc., etc. I stepped out…he filled the doorway and continued the rant.
Interesting thing about a mobile home: when you step out, you’re about eye level with waist of the person inside.
Soon I heard my boss ask him from inside, “Sir, I need you to come here for a second.” It’s at that point he turned around 180 and to my surprise he had tightey whitey underwear on, from the front I couldn’t tell because of his large belly hanging down. He took one step toward my boss, and there I was marveling how his underwear was totally hidden up front, and he lets go of a large amount of gas…and then the underwear quickly turned brown and wet.
As the crap rolled down his leg…he didn’t miss a beat, gave that leg a shake onto the floor…and begins to converse with my boss.
I in turn being full witness to this, and eye level to this mess only a few feet away…turn into the yard and begin to hurl.
As my boss came bouncing out of the house, oblivious to what just happened…he said, “What’s the matter, buddy; it didn’t smell that bad in there.” (We’ve been in some nasty places.) I pointed and said that dude just crapped his pants in my face.
And that’s the nastiest thing that I’ve seen in a house.
Pepperoncini Beef
![Slow Cooker Italian Pepperoncini Beef HERO scaled Slow Cooker Italian Pepperoncini Beef HERO scaled](https://metallicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/Slow-Cooker-Italian-Pepperoncini-Beef-HERO-scaled-1.jpg)
Ingredients
- 1 (3 pound) beef chuck roast
- 4 cloves garlic, sliced
- 1 (16 ounce) jar pepperoncini
Instructions
- Make small cuts in roast, and insert garlic slices in cuts.
- Place roast in slow cooker, and pour the entire contents of the jar of pepperoncini, including liquid, over meat.
- Cook on LOW for 6 to 8 hours.
- Serve on sub rolls with cheese.
Confessions Of A Woman In A Polygamous Marriage
How did you end up in a polygamous marriage?
I was born and was raised in Saudi Arabia, in Riyadh. A few months before my seventeenth birthday, my father, due to the Guardian System, told me that he had arranged a marriage for me to a foreign businessman in Dubai, and that I would be married within a few weeks.
At the beginning of 2017, I was married to my new husband in Dubai, and became his second wife. I didn’t ever realize that I wouldn’t be his first wife until a few days before the wedding, and I can only remember crying for an entire afternoon the day I found out I would be his second wife. It would not be until the end of last year that our husband took his 3rd and most recent wife.
How old is your husband?
Early 50s
How soon before the wedding did you meet him? What would have happened if you didn’t like him/he didn’t like you?
I met him about a week before the wedding for the first time. If he hadn’t like me, it’s not likely anything would happen since he had already talked to my father, but if i hadn’t liked him there was not much I could have done about it. At that point I was such a mess of nervous teenage anxiety and emotion that there wasn’t much I could have even thought or said.
Why did he marry you?
I’m not sure why exactly, it could have been for my looks or age, since his first wife is quite a bit older than i am, but I’m sure it was also due to the social connections between him and my father that would be forged because of the marriage.
Has your husband mentioned how many wives he plans on having?
He legally can’t marry more than 4 according to Sharia Law, but I can’t imagine he would marry someone else, especially at this point in his life. But who knows, he certainly could. I hope not, but it is a possibility.
Do you have a good relationship with him?
We have a fairly good relationship. Although he doesn’t spend as much time with me as his new wife, he’s very polite and nice to me, and doesn’t mistreat me at all.
Do you love him? Does he love you?
In a way I think I love him; even though I don’t think he married me for love, and I didn’t have much of a choice, I’ve learned to love him for what he is. I know he cares for me in his own way, and I know he wants me to be happy and provided for, which I am very thankful for.
Do you guys have children?
Yes, we have one child, a beautiful two-year old baby girl!
How does your husband treat you? Does he treat all his wives equally or is he biased?
It depends; he treats his first wife and I pretty much the same, or at least spends the same amount of time with us, but ever since his third marriage he’s spent most nights with his new wife. I try not to feel jealous, but it is hard not to resent him and her for it.
How old are his first and third wife?
His first wife is 36, and his most recent wife is only 16. Even though 18 is legally the marriable age in the UAE, a judge can approve a younger marriage, and our husband is wealthy enough to ensure that it happens.
What do you think of a man in his early 50s marrying a girl of 16?
I personally don’t think it’s right for such a marriage to take place. Even though legally it was allowed, the odds are she’ll be widowed before she even turns 40, which is really tragic for her.
Why are you more concerned for her after he dies than what might happen during the marriage?
I don’t think it’s right for him to marry someone so young, but at least this way she is provided for. Once he dies, I’m not sure what’s going to happen to any of us once he dies.
What typically happens to the wives once their husband dies? Say you are 50. Do you get an inheritance?
I would most likely be sent to live with a male relative, and perhaps receive an inheritance or something similar. I would have to follow ‘Iddah’ under Shariah Law and wait before remarrying though. If I an widowed while still young, I could probably remarry, but if I was older I might just live as a widow with my relatives.
He must be very rich to afford 3 wives, 3 households. Are you allowed to spend any money?
He is, as far as I know, fairly wealthy, even though he never talks about business or finances with us. Each of us gets a monthly allowance for groceries, clothes, shopping, and anything else we might need, but it’s never enough to make any really extravagant purchases; for anything like that, like jewelry or really nice clothes; anything really expensive, we have to ask him for permission.
What do you enjoy spending your allowance on?
Well, its usually not enough to buy anything more than the essentials, but I love cooking and buying new ingredients, and i always put a little aside to buy paints and art supplies with.
Are you allowed to work?
No, we aren’t allowed to work, or at least not for money. I love painting and art, so I do work on that a lot, but my husband would never let me sell them or earn a living myself. For the most part I have to rely on my husband to provide for me and our daughter.
How are mealtimes? Do you cook? Do you all eat together?
I usually cook meals for myself and daughter, and maybe a few friends, but we usually I don’t eat with our sister wives, except for on Friday, when we usually eat a meal together with our husband.
When it comes to sex, is it only ever you and him? Or is part of it that the four of you have sexual relations?
It is always only him and one of us, he has never asked any of us to have relations with him at the same time. It’s a very private affair.
Do you spend time with the other wives? Are they your friends? Or do you keep separate lives?
For the most part we are like separate families, we each have our own apartment, cook our own meals, and have our own beds, but fortunately his first wife and I do get along very well; since I left Saudi Arabia she’s been almost like a sister to me. His third wife though, she is very rude to us, since she is the youngest, and we definitely don’t get along.
How is she rude to you?
It feels like since our husband spends more time with her than the rest of us, she has a more privileged relationship with him than we do. She can get him to do things to us that he wouldn’t do otherwise, like punish us for doing innocent things, like going out without his permission, he is usually fine with, but if his youngest wife convinced him to, he will get angry and even hit us, even very softly. It’s more of symbolic than anything, but it still makes me feel awful. She also doesn’t miss an opportunity to bring me down or insult me.
What’s the best thing about your marriage?
Probably having such a good relationship with his first wife. It’s almost like having another sister, and it definitely helps make up for some of the worse parts of my marriage. Either that or being provided for so well. I’m not mistreated or neglected, and it gives me a chance to raise our daughter.
If he were to die soon, would you still be friends with the first wife?
I think we would. Even if we didn’t share a husband, I think we would have been friends anyway, and I think we would stay friends even if we weren’t married to the same man.
What is the worst part about living in such a relationship?
The worst part of my relationship is probably just the stress it brings. For instance, he spends most nights with his new wife, and she knows she is his favorite right now and uses that to treat his first wife and I very badly. I try not to hold it against her or our husband, but it’s hard not to.
Do you feel any resentment towards your father for putting you in a situation you may not have necessarily chosen for yourself?
I do sometimes. He never really gave me a choice in the matter, so I do sometimes feel resentful towards him for putting me into this situation, but it’s the culture he knew growing up, and i know he had my best interests at heart. He wanted to be sure I would be provided for, and I know that despite everything he loves me and wants what’s best for me. But it’s not easy to forgive him.
If you were given a chance to, would you get out of the marriage?
Although under Sharia Law divorce is allowed, the only way it could realistically happen for me is if my husband wanted a divorce as well, which he does not. And if I did divorce him, I don’t know what I would do or where I would go, especially since I would have trouble finding anyone willing to marry a divorced single mother. But honestly, I really don’t want to leave, although I wish it hadn’t happened at all, now that I’m married, I’m fairly well off and happy, and although it’s hard, it’s something I have to live with, and I am alright with that.
Would you prefer a different future for your daughter?
Absolutely. I would never want anyone, least of all my daughter, to be in the same relationship as me.
I would like to see the attitudes towards marriage become more western, and allow women more of a say in who they marry. I also pray that plural marriage continues to become more and more rare as time goes on.
Did you have a childhood sweetheart/relationship before your marriage?
I did have a sweetheart before I got married, he was a family friend, and I thought I was going to marry him for the longest time. I was actually looking forward to it, and I stroll sometimes regret not being able to spend my life with him. But I never had a choice in the matter, so I’ve learned to live with it.
How do you feel about the fact that a lot of the world (at least a lot of the Western world) looks down upon plural marriages. Do you ever question your own lifestyle?
I definitely question my lifestyle, and if I had the choice, I don’t think I would want to be in a plural marriage. Since I do live in Dubai, I do get exposed to more western culture than I did before, and I generally think that the west is right about the negative aspects of polygamy. Despite this, I’ve lived my whole life this way, and I’m not unhappy like many people in the west think. It’s not ideal, and certainly causes more stress and emotional strain on everyone, but it’s not all bad.
How has your life changed because of the marriage?
Before I was married, I lived with my family, and, because of the laws in Saudi Arabia, I had very little freedom of movement, and had to ask permission to do or go anywhere. Even while I was at home my parents, and especially my father, had absolute control over what I did.
Now that I’m married, I don’t have to ask permission to go out, as long as I am accompanied by another woman or male guardian, and I have more control over how I spend the small allowance I get. I also have more freedom at home, to raise our child and to talk and spend time with female friends. Despite this, if he wanted to, or if I made him unhappy with me, my husband could control me just like my father, did and monitor my every move, but fortunately he allows his wives to be fairly independent as long as we obey.
The fifth element -Adventure Movie Full HD | Bruce Willis
What is the oddest thing you have ever found while taking a walk?
25 years ago I had just left the safeway supermarket in the uk. Right beside the exit doors is a cash machine and as I walked past I realised there was a wad of cash hanging out of it. I looked around, couldn’t see anyone. In my head I was thinking oh wow, perfect timing. Single parent, an ex who didn’t pay child support and I was struggling to support my 3 kids under 5, but then it was like someone hit me across the head and said stop it. Hand it in to customer services immediately.
So I walked to the entrance and went to the customer service desk and explained what I’d found. She counted it, £620. She took my name and phone number and said she was shocked someone actually came to hand it in instead of just taking it. I just shrugged and left. Refused to think about how I almost got so much money and did the right thing instead of the wrong thing.
6 months later, December, I got a phone call from the supermarket asking me to come in to see them about the money so I did. She informed me that the bank knew who’s money it was but they had never reported it missing and as such the money was mine to keep. I cried. I’d been struggling so much. I knew I could barely afford to heat our home or buy Christmas presents and then all this money just got given to me.
I kept half and donated the other half to the local homeless shelter who were able to have a Christmas meal because of the donation. No names of course, just anonymous donor. My kids and I were warm, they had gifts and a roof over our head.
Edit
I only had contact with the supermarket customer service lady so I don’t know exactly what went on with the bank. All I know is what she told me, that the bank knew who’s money it was but it was never reported by the account owner as missing or forgotten.
Now after speaking to you all I suspect it was because I handed it in to the supermarket instead of a bank, however I have no idea which bank the cash machine belonged to and there wasn’t a bank office in the area, just the supermarket, a restaurant, post office and community centre. Seeing as the machine was on the outside of the supermarket building I thought my only option was to hand it in to them as I didn’t have time to catch the bus to town to the police as I had to pick up my kids.
What is Gordon Ramsay’s true personality?
I worked with him on several episodes of “Kitchen Nightmares.” I was a lowly PA, so his treatment of me speaks a lot.
Firstly, he rode in the front seat of his car, next to the driver. This says something about him not being high and mighty. During my first three days, he would give me a brief nod whenever he passed. He knew I was part of the team, but PAs come and go. He’s not going to waste a lot of time on me.
On my second episode, also three days, he would engage people around me in friendly banter. He’s the type of guy who makes fun of people, but with a broad smile on his face so you know he’s joking. He also joined us in tossing around a football during a slow point.
By my third episode, I ranked a “hello” and smile. On the last day of the third episode, just before the restaurant opened, a producer pointed out my untied shoe. Being bone tired, I pulled out a chair to sit and tie it. Gordon suddenly shouted, “What are you doing?! That’s it! Fired!” I looked up in shock and he immediately laughed at me. It felt awesome.
Famous people are expected to be “on.” It uses up energy to be charming. For temporary employees, he was polite, but didn’t spend a lot of time with us. As he grew to know and trust us, he became warm and open. He’s a little gruff and sarcastic, but a lot of fun. And others who did multiple seasons on the show told me he was very loyal to them. I can’t count him as a friend, but how he treats other people says a lot about him.
Your Worth Is Inherent, Unchanging, and Absolute
Your worth is not up for debate. It’s not some fickle, fleeting thing that can be given or taken away by anyone else. It’s not dependent on your achievements, your relationships, your bank account, or your fucking Instagram follower count.
No, my friend. Your worth is inherent, unchanging, and absolute. It’s baked into your very being, as much a part of you as your DNA or your undying love for pizza. And anyone who tells you otherwise is full of shit.
But I know, I know. It’s easy to let the world convince you otherwise. We live in a society that’s constantly trying to sell us the idea that our value is contingent on external factors – that we’re only as good as our last success, our latest conquest, our most recent “before and after” photo.
And when we buy into that bullshit, when we let our self-worth be determined by the opinions and expectations of others, we set ourselves up for a lifetime of anxiety and self-doubt. We become so fucking desperate for validation that we twist ourselves into pretzels trying to please everyone, convinced that if we just work hard enough, achieve enough, sacrifice enough, we’ll finally be worthy of love and respect.
But that’s a trap, my dear. A soul-sucking, joy-crushing trap that will leave you feeling emptier than a bag of kale chips at a Super Bowl party. Because the truth is, no amount of external validation will ever fill the void of self-doubt if you don’t first believe in your own inherent worth.
And I get it. Believing in yourself can be hard as hell, especially if you’ve spent years marinating in the toxic stew of self-loathing and insecurity. But it’s not impossible, and it’s sure as shit not optional if you want to live a life that feels authentic and fulfilling.
So how do you start cultivating that unshakeable sense of self-worth? How do you begin to internalize the truth of your own value, even in a world that’s constantly trying to convince you otherwise?
It starts with a choice. A conscious, daily, moment-by-moment choice to reject the bullshit narratives that tell you you’re not good enough, and instead lean into the radical truth of your own inherent worthiness.
It means standing in front of the mirror and telling yourself “I am enough” over and over again until it starts to feel less like a lie and more like a battle cry. It means surrounding yourself with people who reflect back your own brilliance, who celebrate your quirks and flaws and all the things that make you uniquely you. It means learning to treat yourself with the same kindness and compassion you’d offer a beloved friend, even on the days when you feel about as lovable as a dumpster fire.
And most importantly, it means letting go of the idea that your worth is something that can be earned or achieved or bought or sold. It means embracing the truth that you are valuable simply because you exist, because you are a one-of-a-kind expression of the universe in all its chaotic, messy, beautiful glory.
Because here’s the thing, my love: you are a fucking miracle. You are a walking, talking, breathing example of the incredible resilience and creativity and magic of the human spirit. And no matter what anyone else says, no matter how many times you stumble or fall or fuck up, that essential truth remains unchanged.
You are worthy. You are enough. You are inherently, unequivocally, absolutely valuable, just as you are.
So fuck the haters. Fuck the doubters. Fuck anyone who tries to convince you otherwise. Your worth is not up for debate, and it never will be.
Embrace that truth. Lean into it. Let it be the foundation upon which you build a life that feels authentic and fulfilling and joyful as hell.
Because you, my dear, are worth it. And that’s the fucking tea.
Jeffrey Sachs: The Untold History of the Cold War, CIA Coups Around the World, and COVID’s Origin
Good topics. Hit the mainstream.
So long, but really worth the time to listen to.