When I was a kid, 1999 was a year of a far-off future where we’d have flying cars, robots in every home, and of course, moonbases. It was a year that seemed poised on the cusp of greatness. One of the most popular songs when I was in high school was “Party Like It’s 1999,” from the late pop star Prince (still sad that I have to say ‘late’).
It was a year that promised much in a shiny new millennium.
Well, the actual 1999 has come and gone…twenty years ago, in fact. Many things happened that year; the tragic shooting at Columbine High School in Colorado, which initiated an unending chain of deadly mass shootings in the United States. Many things didn’t happen that year as well.
For instance, the moon did not break away from Earth orbit on September 13th, nor did it see an International Lunar Finance Commission crew stranded on Moonbase Alpha to fend for themselves as they galavanted across the cosmos. These events were forever consigned to the alternate-future of Gerry Anderson’s mid-1970s space epic TV show, “Space: 1999.”
In the real 1999, we had the International Space Station in orbit, which, at the time, consisted of little more than a couple of modules linked together (and manned with a crew of three)… hardly a six-sectioned moonbase with a crew of 311.
The momentum of the Apollo lunar landings in the late 1960s and early 1970s fizzled and died not long after the program ended. Apollo’s replacement, the reusable space shuttle orbiter, never quite succeeded at making space travel as inexpensive or routine as promised, nor did it capture the popular imagination. While the fictional Moonbase Alpha was fully operational in the series’ year 1999, it was clear that the actual year 1999 wouldn’t see anything near that level of ambition in NASA’s space program, not even with the help of Russia, China and the ESA combined. The prospects for a future moonbase these days seem far less inevitable than they did in my childhood.
A Future That Will Never Be.
As a consolation prize? My adolescent self had the fictitious adventures of Commander John Koenig (the late Martin Landau), Dr. Helena Russell (Landau’s then-real life wife Barbara Bain), and the crew of Moonbase Alpha’s adventures to revel in, courtesy of ITC Entertainment.
The series only ran 2 years (1975-1977) and I used to first catch it in late night syndication and later on in the afternoons. It was, in the best science fiction tradition, an escape into an impossible future… a future also apparently freed from the laws of physics, since this moon could hop around the universe like the starship Enterprise, surfing space-warps and using gravity slingshots to encounter ‘strange new worlds’ every week (!).
Gotta say, as a kid, I really dug the Space: 1999 hardware. The Eagle transport ships were things of beauty with their arrowhead command modules, spindly tinker-toy frames and sturdy landing struts.
I always wanted a toy of one, but they were too expensive at the time. As an adult, I realize their girder-based frames would burn up like fireworks upon breaching an appreciable atmosphere, but my 12-year old self didn’t care.
I also loved the props of the show as well. The ‘comm-locks’ were a sort of portable video phone and door remote control (like a cathode ray-iPhone) with actual working black & white monitors on the ‘hero’ versions of the props. Also loved the Alpha laser guns as well (one of the few sci-fi weapons that genuinely didn’t look like a weapon…it looked like a fierce little staple gun).
Cast of Characters.
“Space: 1999″ starred the aforementioned Landau, Bain and Barry Morse (TV’s “The Fugitive”) as the artificial heart-bearing science officer/confidante Victor Bergman.
Zienia Merton (who passed away only last year) costarred as Burmese data analyst Sandra Benes, Clifton Jones as computer specialist David Kano, Prentis Hancock as command center fixture Paul Morrow, and Nick Tate as charismatic Aussie Eagle pilot Alan Carter.
While Jamaican-born Clifton Jones (“Kano”) was one of the few non-white series regulars seen in Alpha’s main command center, there were other characters (including Dr. Helena Russell’s deputy Dr. Bob Mathias, played by actor Anton Phillips) of different races and nationalities (the Burmese Merton as well) to bolster the feeling of a thriving, multinational lunar base.
Space: 1999 certainly followed in Star Trek’s tradition of a multiracial crew, even if the dominant characters were usually white.
Of the first season’s ensemble of characters, several were let go in the second year… Clifton Jones’ Kano, Prentice Hancock’s Paul and (sadly) the warm, paternal Barry Morse’s Victor Bergman. Bergman was replaced by the exotic shapeshifting alien “Maya,” played by Catherine Schell (who had a guest role in the previous year’s “Guardians of Piri”).
Maya, with her upswept pointed eyebrows, was clearly an attempt to capture some of Mr. Spock’s alien mojo for the show.
Also added to the mix was hotheaded Security Chief (and hops brewer) Tony Verdeschi (Tony Anholt), who was Maya’s occasional love interest, and Alpha’s second-in-command whenever Koenig was away.
While I actually like Maya and Tony very much as characters, I still lament the loss of Victor. Victor was the “Bones” of the cast; acting as both sage confidante and human heartbeat within the cold confines of the sterile Alpha base (despite his own artificial ticker).
Sadly, all of the actors had to wear fashion designer Rudi Gernreich’s tan colored lunar leisurewear, with flared bell bottoms and color-coded sleeves/collars indicating one’s department.
They looked like slightly more comfortable cousins to the uniforms worn by the Enterprise crew in “Star Trek: The Motion Picture” (1979). At least the orange lunar spacesuits were pretty neat… and practical, as they’d stand out on the mostly gray lunar terrain if one were awaiting rescue (as was often the case).
Year One.
The first season was produced by famed puppeteering TV series producer Gerry Anderson and his wife Sylvia (“Thunderbirds” “Fireball XL-5” “UFO”). The series was originally conceived by Anderson as a direct sequel to his previous live-action sci-fi series “UFO” (1970-1973), but that connection was ultimately dropped.
Space: 1999 was a mix of Stanley Kubrick’s “2001: A Space Odyssey” (1968) and Gene Roddenberry’s “Star Trek” (1966-9), along with the willful scientific ignorance of Glen Larson’s later “Battlestar Galactica” (1978).
While science may not have been Space: 1999’s strong suit, the series was (for its time) a visual feast; boasting gorgeous miniature effects from Brian Johnson (“The Empire Strikes Back”) that brought “2001”-level cinematic spectacle to the 1970s boob tube. While some of the opticals are a bit dodgy today, the incredibly detailed miniature spacecraft and moonscapes are still a sight to behold.
Prodigious production values aside, the stories ran the gamut from from surreally haunting to (literally) laugh-out-loud ridiculous, with all manner of alien creature suits and guest stars thrown into the mix.
The first season’s stories were more about awe, mystery, fate, and the grandeur of the universe. Episodes in that first year were generally slower-paced and almost dreamlike.
Those stories often consisted of the moon hurtling into the space of pompous, self-important aliens who usually wanted the wayward moon-dwellers to take a hike (“War Games” “The Last Sunset” “The Last Enemy” etc).
There were also a few quasi-mystical stories hinting at Alpha’s secret ‘destiny’ among the stars (“Black Sun” “Full Circle” “Testament of Arkadia” and “Collision Course”).
While the science is consistently inane, (the sheer mass of the moon can’t just shoot through spacetime like a kayak in the rapids), many of the stories are still quite enjoyable in spite of their inherent silliness.
Some of the notable guest stars of season one included Hammer horror veterans Peter Cushing (“Missing Link”), Christopher Lee (“Earthbound”) and a pre-“Dynasty” Joan Collins (“Mission of the Darians”).
Personal Favorites Of Year One.
“Breakaway” is the pilot of the series, and it does a nice job of world-building. The incredibly detailed miniature effects and feature film production design of Moonbase Alpha make the original Star Trek’s balsa wood & cardboard sets look like a fifth grade play.
While the story of ‘unknown magnetic radiation’ causing crewmen at the base to go mad is never really resolved (some genuinely sloppy writing), it doesn’t really matter; the stage is set for some dazzling eye candy, even if it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.
The tension building up to, and including, the actual breakaway of the moon from Earth orbit is on a par with some of the best 1970s Irwin Allen disaster movies.
“Earthbound” was one of the rare times Alpha encountered benevolent aliens, including a tall, contrarily sinister-looking one played by Christopher Lee, whose ship has room for one Alphan to return to Earth with he and his crew. Stranded Earth commissioner Simmonds (Roy Dotrice, whom we saw in “Breakaway”) elects himself.
The comeuppance ending is right out of “The Twilight Zone.”
As he “wakes up” in a stasis chamber and will spend the next few million years awake in a box with nothing to occupy his time except his mind.
One of my favorite scenes, don’t you know.
“Voyager’s Return” guest starred Jeremy Kemp (Picard’s brother Robert in Star Trek: The Next Generation’s “Family”) as an Oppenheimer-like scientist whose “Quellor”-drive spacecraft Voyager (no, not the NASA version) has wrought havoc across its path, contaminating the cosmos with deadly radioactive residue.
A nice character study of guilt and redemption as well as ecological ignorance.
“The Last Sunset” has aliens so intent on keeping Alphans away from their world that they briefly terraform the moon itself just so the Alphans won’t settle on their planet.
Nice to see Moonbase Alpha with a blue sky and open windows (why would one even have openable windows on a lunar base?). Not to mention rain and outdoor volleyball matches. Problems arise when the terraforming effects don’t hold, and Paul loses his marbles after eating lunar mushrooms. Bad trip, dude…
“Black Sun” sees the moon on a collision with a ‘black sun’ (today’s black hole/quantum singularity).
Victor comes up with a useless but morale-building idea to erect a protective forcefield to give the crew a way to pass time waiting for the inevitable. Nice character moments abound as the Alphans reveal their braver selves during their final hours.
The base is largely evacuated as Alpha plunges into…something. In a moment right out of “2001”, Victor and John both seem to age decades, then talk to a whispery god-like voice (?) and then…emerge alive and well. They realize their cosmic odyssey may be guided by some unseen force. Utter nonsense, yes, but very well-made nonsense.
“Another Time, Another Place” has the crew arriving in an alternate future, where they encounter older versions of themselves settled on a cloudy gray world after the loss of Moonbase Alpha.
Everything is back to status quo by the end of the episode, but it’s a fascinating ‘what-if’ story. It also seems to have inspired a slew of ‘alternate future’ Star Trek episodes as well (including Voyager’s “Endgame” and Enterprise’s “Twilight”).
“War Games” can almost qualify as a typical Space: 1999 story (aliens refuse to give Alphans sanctuary) save for its harrowing execution, in which aliens use ceaseless artillery bombardments in order to render a broken Alpha base uninhabitable.
A desperate Koenig and Helena take an Eagle to the nearby alien’s home planet and demand living space on their world as compensation. As negotiations fall apart, John is killed, and Helena is forced to plead their case.
Ultimately she is successful, and Alpha is magically returned to its pre-crisis condition (much like Star Trek Voyager’s “Year of Hell” two-parter), but Commander Koenig (at Helena’s urging) decides to turn left this time instead of right, unwittingly maintaining an uneasy armistice.
Year Two.
Second season was produced by Fred Freiberger (the producer of the original Star Trek’s often-maligned third season). Freiberger cut a lot of the cosmic claptrap and pushed the series into more traditional space action adventure.
His biggest change wasn’t just introducing Psychon shapeshifter Maya, but also a general punching up on all of the characterizations; including adding a bit more heat to the on-again/off-again relationship of John Koenig and Dr. Helena Russell (their relationship reminds me very much of Captain Picard and Beverly Crusher’s in “Star Trek: The Next Generation”).
While I appreciated some added zest to the characters, as well as some added (literal) color to the near-monochromatic first year’s costumes and sets, year two lacks some of the scope and grandeur of year one; even the grand command center set was shrunk down a bit.
That said, I think year two gets a far worse rap than it deserves. I see the differences between the two years as more of an apples and oranges situation. Both have merits, and both have issues. Year one is cooler, eerier and more surreal, while year two is warmer, with more traditional action-adventure. They’re two different takes on the same core concept.
Space: 1999’s music reflected the tonal shifts between the first and second years as well. The opening S1 title music (by Barry Gray) rang in with an almost Strauss-like bombast, followed by guitar-twanging disco beats over a montage of the following episode’s highlights.
The second season’s music (by Derek Wadsworth) was more traditional space action-adventure fare; memorable in its own way, but lacking the ‘bigger’ feeling of season one’s score. The second year also used more disco-motifs for incidental music as well.
Personal Favorites of Year Two.
“Metamorph” kicks off year two with both the introduction of Maya (Schell) and her doomed homeworld of Psychon (think Krypton, but inhabited with shapeshifters).
Maya is a privileged daughter of Mentor (first year guest star Brian Blessed), who is forced to open her eyes and realize the truth about both her father’s cruelty and her planet’s fate. Brian Johnson’s exceptional miniature effects (the ‘ship graveyard’ on Psychon) highlight a solid script by “Doctor Who” writer Johnny Byrne, who also wrote two previous favorites of mine from Space: 1999’s first year (“Voyager’s Return” “Another Time, Another Place”).
Catherine Schell had previously played a seductive android who offered the Alphans paradise in year one’s “The Guardians Of Piri.”
“Journey To Where” gives the audience a sense of how Earth itself is faring during the Alphans space-warping odyssey. Thanks to special relativity, Earth is in its 22nd century now, with advanced technology (including long-range transporters) but with a population forced to live in Buck Rogers-style domed cities for protection against deadly earthquakes that periodically ravage the wobbly-orbiting planet (due to a lack of a stabilizing moon).
As a galactic eclipse nears (don’t ask), Earth has the ability to only transport a few Alphans to Earth. Helena, John and Alan agree to go…and due to an ill-timed earthquake during transport, they wind up in Scotland during the time of Robert the Bruce.
Long story short, they manage to transport back to Alpha before the galactic eclipse, but have to forgo any future notion of returning to Earth. A significant turning point in the series.
“The AB Chrysalis” has some of that weird sense of wonder we saw to a greater degree in year one, especially a scene with a chamber full of slowly bouncing intelligent globes that reminded me of miniature versions of “The Prisoner”’s ‘rovers.’
The Alphans learn they have disrupted the metamorphosing life cycle of another race and are forced to make things right. While the story is okay, it’s the odd surreal feeling that makes this one stand out (for me, anyway).
“The Beta Cloud” is, for me, a total guilty pleasure.
Dave Prowse (bodybuilder, former Green Cross guy, Hammer Frankenstein monster and future Darth Vader) plays a rampaging robot disguised as a lifeform that trashes Alpha in order to steal its life-support core. Commander Koenig is away on a mission, forcing Tony Verdeschi to step up as Alpha’s commander.
Despite the absolutely ridiculously subpar keiju-eiga looking monster costume, Prowse’s Terminator-style rampage is silly, nail-biting fun. Seeing Verdeschi really thinking on his feet makes this Tony Anholt’s best episode.
“The Bringers of Wonder” Part One is the first part of a two-parter that was released in some international markets as a feature film. In it, a ‘Super Swift’ spacecraft arrives from Earth with a crew consisting entirely of people who are special to the Alphans, including fiances, colleagues, mentors, old-flames and even Tony Verdeschi’s brother Guido.
They claim theirs is a faster-than-light ship capable of taking some of them back to Earth. Only a temporarily destabilized Koenig sees these visitors as they really are…hideous, walking alien piles of vomit and noodles who need radiation from Alpha to survive.
“The Bringers of Wonder” Part Two sees the vomit-noodle aliens further using their will to pacify and manipulate the Alphans, but due to an experimental brain treatment from Helena, Koenig is unable to be fooled by their illusions. With Maya’s help, he realizes their plan to destroy the base’s nuclear reactor but now has to stop several crewmen (who think they’ve arrived on Earth) from destroying the base’s nuclear fuel.
One of the best of the series in my opinion… creepy, surreal and loaded with lots of nice character moments. Yes, the aliens look like glowing puke, but they’re certainly memorable.
Moonbase Alpha, In Memorium.
So many of the Space: 1999 team are no longer with us. Producer Gerry Anderson (1929-2012), Fred Freiberger (1915-2003), series’ star Martin Landau (1928-2017) who eventually won an Oscar for 1994’s “Ed Wood”, Barry Morse (1918-2008), Tony Anholt (1941-2002) and most recently Zienia Merton (1945-2018). Thanks to all of them for a crazy cosmic ride.
Final Message From Moonbase Alpha (1999).
At a “Space: 1999” convention in Los Angeles held on the actual calendar day of the moon’s fictional ‘breakaway’ (September 13th, 1999), Zienia Merton (in character as Sandra Benes) appeared in a short film chronicling the final log entry from the wayward moonbase. The short, called “Message From Moonbase Alpha” (1999), premiered at the convention, and is considered by many Space: 1999 fans to be the ‘official’ finale of the series.
It was a fitting end to a series for which I hold much affection, despite its issues and shortcomings.
Yes, scientific accuracy on the series was next-to nonexistent, the oh-so-’70s costumes are quite dated, and the acting was occasionally hammy, but there was something surreal and fascinating about this handsomely designed series’ world… a future past that will always live on in the imaginations of a certain generation, and maybe even for a few forgiving new fans who are willing to overlook a slew of faults in favor of surreal and utterly escapist entertainment.
Today…
Which areas should I avoid in Detroit, Michigan as a traveler?
Delray.
Don’t stop in Delray. Don’t get off the expressway; don’t stop for gas. There really isn’t any.
Delray is a ghost town of a ghetto. The folks who live in Delray tell you to stay away from Delray.
Delray sits directly upriver from Zug Island and Detroit Water and Sewage treatment plant.
And Zug Island? That is a natural disaster of an industrial zone that makes Flint Michigan look like a pristine metropolis.
The neighborhood is more country than city if it wasn’t for the rampant pollution.
There aren’t truly any schools in Delray itself. Not anymore.
There are still a few churches in Delray. The most beautiful of which have been abandoned.
Really, about the only thing left in Delray beside the few habitable houses is the handful of remaining little churches. I believe their last proper school was demolished.
The only reason Delray doesn’t have a higher crime rate than it does, (which is terrible anyway), is for the fact that so few actually live there.
The city of Detroit wants to convert Delray into a wholly industrial zone, and with a new bridge to Canada, wiping Delray completely from the map.
The people that live in Delray refuse to move, despite slowly dying out. But, if you wandered into Delray and you found one of the non-criminal residents, you might fare alright. They all seem like nice people. Delray does that to you. But I wouldn’t chance it.
Delray is a place where people drive to dump their garbage when they are too poor to get it picked up by a service. You might get mistaken by a resident as one of ‘those people’. You might get shot, or maybe not.
If you had to avoid a neighborhood in Detroit, Delray is the place to steer clear from. But who knows, you might find more humanity there than you expected.
What’s something a flight attendant did to you that you will never forget?
We were living in Australia and we received a phone call that my wife’s mother in England had taken ill and had been rushed to hospital and she was not likely to survive. I immediately went on line and booked a flight for her to Engand so that she would hopefully get there before her mum died and we decided that I would stay home in Australia to look after our four children as money was tight and we could not afford for us all to go. That evening when we got to the airport to check in for the flight, my wife was visibly upset and the lady at check in asked what the problem was. I explained what had happened with her mum and the lady sympathised and issued her boarding pass. A few hours later I said goodbye to my wife and she boarded the plane. I was worried about her having to travel all of that way alone more so because she was so upset about her mum but I couldn’t go with her because of our four children and I needed to stay and look after them. She rang me thirty hours later from her mum’s home and told me that when she boarded the plane the steward looked at her boarding pass and said “Colleen come with me your flying first class tonight, I will be your cabin steward” he took her through to the pointy end of the aircraft and showed her to her seat and said that he would make up the bed for her when she was ready and told my wife to call him if there’s anything that she needed. They watched over her for the whole flight and i can’t thank the Qantas staff enough for what they did for my wife.
** My wife went straight to the hospital when she arrived in England and was able to spend a little time with her mum before she passed away.
Americans are shocked at how China is more advanced
German Chocolate Skillet Cake
Yield: 16 servings
Ingredients
- 3/4 cup packed brown sugar
- 1 cup milk
- 1 (7 ounce) package flaked coconut
- 1 cup coarsely chopped pecans
- 3 tablespoons butter or margarine
- 1 (18.25 ounce) box German chocolate or chocolate cake mix* (plus ingredients to make cake)
- Vanilla ice cream (optional)
Instructions
- Heat oven to 350 degrees F.
- Combine brown sugar and milk in large Colander Bowl. Add coconut and pecans; mix well using Mix ‘N Scraper®.
- Melt butter in Family Skillet over medium heat, tilting pan to coat bottom evenly. Drop coconut mixture in spoonsful over bottom of skillet; pat into an even layer, forming a smooth surface.
- Prepare cake mix according to package directions in Classic Batter Bowl. Gently pour batter evenly over coconut layer in skillet, spreading to edge.
- Bake for 25 to 30 minutes or until Cake Tester inserted in center comes out clean. Remove from oven using Oven Mitts.
- Loosen edges of cake from skillet. Carefully invert onto large, heat-proof serving plate. Use Classic Scraper to remove any topping that might remain in bottom of skillet; spread over top of cake. Cool completely.
- Serve with vanilla ice cream, if desired.
Notes
* 18.25 ounce boxes of cake mix have been replaced by 16 ounce boxes. To compensate for the volume loss, whisk 6 tablespoons all-purpose flour into the dry cake mix before proceeding with the recipe.
Nutrition
Per serving: Calories 370, Fat 21g, Sodium 310mg, Fiber 1g
Attribution
Pampered Chef
The IMF has revealed that the US trade deficit is not related to China, so is the US’s “China threat” simply an attempt to attack China and ignore our interests?
Kate the world knows that the US cannot compete world wide, no only China! Every shit you want you cannot make the competitively! That is why you can only buy them from others.
Why is that so? It is that simple! Your CEOs expects to earn 500 times others make. Your workers want to be paid 10 times others but will in to work half as hard and demands 20 times more benefits! Your government spend all its monies to fight forever wars, your infrastructure and transportation sucks! Put together whatever you make it cost 5 times higher than anyone on planet earth!
Meanwhile you found that you can create fake monies to buy from others! That is basically what happened, the whole world knows this but Americans don’t because your media lied to you guys to feel good that you are exceptionally. Yes exceptional failures!
The Most Insane Gen Z TikTok’s (Compilation)
Technomancer 4: Taking a stand
Submitted into Contest #282 in response to: Write a story that begins with an apology.… view prompt
KC Foster
This story contains themes or mentions of physical violence, gore, or abuse.
“We found these two sneaking into the camp,” growled one of the camp watchers, thrusting Leron onto the ground. He cried out as the gravel bit into his knees and forearms, and the pain ran along them in a series of throbbing pinpricks. He struggled onto his knees and fought against the zip-tie restraints binding his hands in front of him. What was he thinking? He was only eighteen. Why did he think he could sneak into camp and save the people?
His eyes fell on Masa and his heart ached at the glare she shot him. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered, wishing he had not dragged her here. He had put them both in danger.
“I did warn you,” she responded, coldly.
“Why didn’t you give the girl the poison, Chico?” rumbled Mattias’ voice from the direction of the fire. Leron’s head snapped towards the flames to see the man who had given him the purple vial turn to face him, the orange light catching his eyes made him look like a monster. For all that Mattias had protected the people, he was now a danger to them all, especially Masa. If Mattias was in charge, he would still want her dead.
Leron’s blood ran cold while images of all the things Mattias might do filled his mind. He struggled to say something, but the words wouldn’t come.
Mattias crossed the distance between them and stared down at him, towering over him. Madness filled his eyes and what remained of his old army uniform, a symbol of Mexican pride was covered in fresh blood which dripped down onto the gravel. How many people were killed tonight? Was he now in charge of everyone in camp?
“What poison?” Masa demanded and Leron turned to face her filled with guilt at the vial he still carried. She stared at him with wide eyes before they darkened and narrowed with rage.
“I would never…” Leron began, shaking his head and shuffling backward across the ground.
“You didn’t tell her?” Mattias asked, “Well, I must have wronged you. Perhaps you were waiting for the right moment or even planned to have fun with her first….” His rolling laugh followed, and the goons gathered around the fire snickered.
“You bastard!” Masa screamed, struggling onto her feet. She escaped the men holding her, rushed toward Leron, and began kicking him. Leron fell sideways and drew his knees up into the fetal position, tears filling his eyes as her foot connected with his body sending pain shooting through it.
“Please, stop, Masa….I…..”
The pain finally stopped and Leron opened his eyes to see Mattias’ goons dragging Masa back from him while she continued to struggle and scream at them. His head hurt and he ached all over. He struggled onto his knees and wiped his face on his sleeve. Blood.
Mattias grasped Leron’s shirt and pulled him close. The stench of the monster’s breath made his stomach turn and he longed to escape. “I think you will prove your loyalty now or I’ll kill you both.”
Leron gazed at the sea of people gathered around the circle, their faces barely visible in the firelight. He hoped one of them might speak up and rescue him. They gazed towards the ground or each other but avoided watching at all costs. The few he recognized shook their heads – so much for his parent’s sacrifice. They wouldn’t even lift a finger to save him.
“No,” he whimpered while Mattias pushed him back and went rifling through his pant pocket. “Get away, you creep, don’t touch me,” he cried, trying to edge himself away from the man’s grasp.
Mattias retrieved the vial, held it to the light, and grinned. He ripped the canteen from the belt on Leron’s pants, popped the lid off, and dripped the purple liquid inside. “Esteban cut his restraints.”
The watcher who had caught him marched over, fishing a knife from his pocket. He cut the zip tie and dragged him back onto his feet. Leron rubbed on his wrists.
“Do it,” growled Mattias, shoving the flask into his hand.
Leron took the flask and stared at it. The seconds passed by feeling like entire years. His hands shook and he swallowed back his fear, stilling his palms around the canteen. He glanced back at Masa whose eyes were now filled with more hatred than he had ever seen from anyone. It stung him more than the cold indifference of the people from the camp. He could not hurt her; he loved her, and Mattias would kill him no matter what he did. The monster couldn’t allow him to survive after Leron had stood his ground. It made him look weak. Like the people around the fire, Leron had stood by and allowed the creation of this monster for his own protection. The mistake he had made needed to be rectified.
“I would never. Mattias! I told you I wouldn’t!” Leron yelled. He marched towards Mattias, determined to do something – anything, but Mattias knocked him back to the ground. He struggled to his feet, turning and gazing at each one of the people. “You….all of you….you think he won’t come after you next? Don’t think this monster will protect you, because this bastard won’t. You need to stand up for yourselves. Is this really the world you want to live in? My parents gave their lives for you and there are easily more of you than…..” Mattias’s fist connected with his face, sending him flying backward, and his head hit the gravel. The world spun around him. Someone kicked him in the stomach and he vomited.
“Stop it!” screeched an older woman. “He’s right. We can’t let them do this to us.”
“She’s right!” yelled another man. “He’s just a kid.”
“Get back to your places!” screamed Mattias. “I’ll show you what happens to people who get out of line.” Leron felt his dreads pulled back, it felt like his hair was being torn from his scalp as Mattias beat him over and over.
“Get him!” screamed a voice he didn’t recognize.
From Leron’s daze, gunshots echoed around him causing his ears to ring. He rolled over groaning in pain. He thought he heard voices speaking to him, but couldn’t understand what they were saying. The images blurred in and out and the people before him were unrecognizable. He could not remember who they were.
Everything went black, and the images of the blood-filled streets of Monterrey filled his mind, along with being shoved in an industrial fridge by his parents and never seeing them again. They repeated themselves over and over, like badly drawn images. Following that came Masa and her anger, the people and their indifference, and Mattias standing above them in complete control. He wanted things to return to the way they were. He wanted his parents back and to be a kid again – hanging out with his friends in the street and messing around on their phones, but it was all gone. Gone….
Leron opened his eyes to discover he was lying on a bedroll staring up at the roof of a tent.
“He’s awake!” cried Masa, holding his hands. Tears rolled down her cheeks and she pulled him towards her and hugged him tightly.
“Masa, it hurts….”
“Sorry,” she said and laid him down gently.
A large group of people stood above him, smiling; the faces of the people his parents had saved, along with new ones he did not recognize. “We’re glad you’re okay,” said one of the men he was sure had stood up to Mattias. “I’m Manuel and this is my wife, Loretta. You will be staying with us from now on.” Leron managed a nod as the people came forward a never-ending succession of strange faces. Eventually, the line ended and they disappeared leaving him alone with Masa.
“I’m sorry,” he said, holding her hand tightly, tears coming to his eyes.
“Don’t be,” she replied, “What you did is….well…I didn’t believe it could be done. You saved these people.”
“And almost got you killed.” He groaned, struggling up again. “I would never have hurt you….”
Masa smiled and nodded, tears filling her eyes. She touched the side of his cheek and he leaned into it, enjoying the feel of her soft hand. He longed to kiss her, but they would have to wait until she was ready. “You really are something else,” she said, wiping the tears from her eyes.
A breeze drifted through the tent door. It felt cooler than the desert and he wondered where they were. “Where are we? How long have I been out?”
“For a long time, we almost couldn’t keep you alive. We struggled to keep you hydrated. I fed you water through a straw and you almost choked several times,” she said, sounding worried. Leron began to wonder if she cared about him too. It was a lot for her to do for someone she hated. “We made it through the mountains. Let me show you what is outside and what you have given these people.”
“I would like that.”
Masa aided him to his feet, wrapping him in a blanket and helping him limp towards the door. Outside a river stretched across the land behind a sea of tents camped along the shore. Women and children playing in the water excitedly and the men moved about the camp working and standing tall. He recognized the river from pictures along with the fences on the far side. The Rio Grande and beyond it was his home – USA. It would be a new start for all of them.
Congress Did NOT Realize How Much the TikTok Ban Would RADICALIZE Young People
In which countries do people have the worst personal hygiene?
Hygiene in the U.S.? Oh, buckle up. It’s like a comedy of errors, except the punchline is always someone else suffering. Let’s break it down:
1. Toilet Paper Nation: Americans are out here acting like dry paper is the pinnacle of cleanliness. Seriously, who thought, “Let me just smear this around and call it a day”? Meanwhile, bidet users are sipping lattes and laughing at the idea of walking around with a sandpapered butt all day.
2. Public Restroom Horror Show: Walking into an American public restroom feels like stepping into a post-apocalyptic world. Toilet seats look like they survived a paintball fight, soap dispensers are on strike, and those air dryers? Just hot breath from the devil’s lungs. Not to mention the stall gaps—perfect for a casual game of “peek-a-boo” with strangers.
3. The Great Deodorant Cover-Up: Why clean yourself when you can drown your body odor in a gallon of Old Spice? Americans have mastered the art of “Febreezing themselves” instead of showering, thinking no one notices the funk mixing with artificial mountain breeze.
4. Shoes Indoors—Why Not?: “Oh, I just walked through a dog park, a gas station bathroom, and a street puddle. Let me stomp this all over my living room carpet where my baby crawls.” Hygiene? That’s for quitters.
5. Obesity and Hygiene Gymnastics: Let’s address the elephant in the room—literally. If you can’t reach half your body to clean it, maybe rethink skipping the shower. Wet wipes only go so far, Karen.
6. Gas Station Funk Olympics: Is there a rule that every gas station has to smell like a mix of feet, desperation, and expired hot dogs? And who are these folks walking in like they’ve been marinating in that stench all day?
7. The “Too Clean” Crowd: Then there’s the other extreme—scrubbing their hands 400 times a day while sitting in a house full of pet hair and dirty dishes. Oh, but at least the Purell bottles are fully stocked, right?
The Reasons Why Americans Don’t Want To Have Kids Anymore. Is Life Abroad A better Option?
Shorpy
Is F22 SuperCruise Useless?
The F22’s fuel capacity is so limited Supercruise is pointless. The F22 can’t Supercruise at maximum speed. only about Mach 1.6.
In Supercruise the F22 burns 22, 250lb/hour/engine. Total fuel capacity is just 18,000lbs. Using tankers is not an option in combat , because tankering has to happen quite distant from the combat zone . The F22 must wear drop tanks flying towards combat , but then discard them before commencing combat. This action alone destroys stealth.
As discarded drop tanks tumble and rotate, in doing so, they generate strong radar reflections attracting attention from an opponent.
So for maximum endurance in combat, the F22 must cruise at Mach 0.80 , FL40. so leaned back in no hurry the F22 can consume just 3.500lb/hr/engine. At this slow cruise the F22 has just under three hours endurance in the cruise. In order to get to cruise altitude, it must burn a third of its fuel, so in Stealth mode on internal fuel, the F22 has just two hours of fuel (circa 11,000lb) Any exertion for combat pushes consumption up to 22,250lb/hr/engine or 742lb/minute, or 14 minutes at super cruise.
To reach top speed the F22 has to use afterburners. This triples fuel consumption from 3,900lb/hour per engine, or 11,700lb per engine, or total x2 =23,400lb/hour which means 130% of total fuel in 60 minutes
With my annotations:
In real world combat without drop tanks, with tankers hundreds of miles away…
Supercruise provides only 14 minutes of endurance Useless!
What is the creepiest thing you’ve ever seen your child do?
Not really creepy but eh. Also, this isn’t my child but my little sister. I was 19 at the time while my little sister was around the age of 6 or 7.
At around 6 AM, my mom comes in to the room where I was sleeping and starts to shake me awake. Frantic, eyes welling with tears, she goes, “Baby, get up! I gotta go to the hospital. Your uncle collapsed at work. Can you get the kids ready for school?”
I’m in a daze but I bounce up and start preparing my little siblings’ school uniforms.
While this is happening, I’m shaking. I was so worried and scared for my uncle. It seemed urgent and not a good situation.
So, I’m crying and ironing my sibs clothes, and I notice my little sister is up.
She looks at me and asks what’s wrong.
I tell her that our uncle isn’t doing too well and that he’s in the hospital.
Then I asked her to brush her teeth and pray that he gets better while she gets ready. She says okay and leaves to go to the restroom.
Maybe ten minutes later, she comes back to the room that I was in.
She was ready to put on her clothes now.
I assist her with putting on her shirt and pants, making sure her uniform is tucked and pressed. While I’m doing this, she looks up at me and says,
“I prayed Tiana. God says that uncle is in heaven now.”
I bawled.
Five minutes later, my mom calls and said that my uncle had passed away.
A Wife Comes Back From a Business Trip Laughing—Until Her Joy Turns to Panic.
Joe (Peedoo)
Submitted into Contest #281 in response to: Write a story from the POV of a non-human character.… view prompt
Deb Dobbins
Joe / Peedoo
“What the hell?” I realized my mouth was hanging open, but the words weren’t coming out. “I mean, Uhm… So, this is your daughter?”
The… girl standing in front of me was approximately three feet tall, with dark, kinky, hair looked like Joe must have pulled the ponytail up on top of her head in a hurry, it was slightly askew, with errant strands shooting out the sides at various angles.
“Yes. Sandy…” he said touching the girl’s shoulder slightly. “This is Kelsey, a friend from work.”
I had recovered slightly from the surprising appearance of Joe’ daughter, but didn’t know if I trusted myself to speak. “Hell-ow, Sandy. Nice to meet you. Your dad has told me a lot about you.” but not nearly enough.
Sandy, awkwardly, tilted her head up toward Joe. “Really, daddy?”
“He told me how you like music and are taking piano lessons.” I stated. “He says you are a very fast learner.”
“She is. And she has a performance this weekend. Isn’t that right Sandy?”
“Yes, for the Christmas pageant at school.” Sandy leaned back against Joes’ leg. “Why is she kneeling down daddy?” she asked quietly.
“So, she can talk to you better, honey.” Joe explained.
“Oh, should I stand up. I was wanting to be on your level so I could hear you better and you could hear me better.” I told her.
“Oh.” Sandy held her hand out toward me. “Thanks for coming to visit me.” She turned toward Joe, having dismissed me. “Daddy, Mrs. Britten is here to pick me up now.” With that, she turned and walked into the next room.
Thankfully, Joe helped me up from my squatting position. “She’s quite self-sufficient, isn’t she?” I said, steading myself.
“Yes, she is, but, Ahem, I do need to get her into the car.” Joe smiled “I’ll be right back.” He followed in Sandy’s footsteps and disappeared into the other room.
While Joe was away, I was trying to make sense of what I saw. Sandy’s appearance was disquieting and a little startling. She seemed much like any other child except for her eyes_ they were bulging, but not. The thing was she didn’t have any. There were bumps pultruding from her face somewhat but there was, skin-flaps covering that area, not really flaps, more like, the skin just continued down her face, from her forehead across the bulges blending into her cheeks and nose areas, as if it was meant to be that way. I admit, it took me aback momentarily.
For a second, I thought, I’m glad she couldn’t see my face. Then I thought how terrible that sounded in my head, like I was glad she didn’t have eyes. I was ashamed of myself for thinking it, even if I would never have meant it that way.
Joe stepped back into the front room and found me sitting on the sofa, holding my hand to my mouth, with tears in my eyes.
“Kelsey, are you alright, you seem upset?” He lowered his body on his long legs to sit beside me on the couch. He took my hand in his. “Is there anything I can do?”
I looked at him, shook my head and laid my free hand on the one of his holding mine. “That’s what I should be asking you.”
“Why?” Realization, slid across his normally happy-go-lucky features. “I see. There’s really nothing you can do. She was born that way.” Joe tightened the hold on my hand slightly.
“They said, when she was born, that this type of thing sometimes happens when the genes of the mother and father are so close to being the same.” he said.
“I don’t understand, how can that be? I’ve never heard of this before.” I questioned him.
“Well, it’s kind of a long story, do you have a little time to hear it?” Joe asked.
“Sure. But you don’t have to tell me anymore, if you don’t want to. It’s not necessary.” I smiled at him.
“Do you remember when I told you I wasn’t from here, well that technically is true but not the way you probably took it.” He took a deep breath and sighed.
“I’m from somewhere else, another planet.”
“Funny, you have jokes.” I said laughing. “I thought we were having a serious conversation.” I tried to stand but Joe held me in place.
“We are having a serious conversation, I am serious. I’m telling you the truth. I’ve wanted to tell you for years, since we first met but I was afraid.” He held my gaze for a long minute and gently took my hands again in his. “I have always liked you since we first met. I treasure our friendship and was afraid I would lose that if I told you.”
After taking a long breath of my own I touched his face gently, caressing his cheek. “You really think I’m going to let a little thing like you being an alien break up our friendship?” I laughed softly. “I thought you knew me better than that.” I put my arms around him hugging him. I drew back and had to ask. “So, what planet are you from, not the Moon is it?” I laughed again; it sounded flat to my ears.
“No, but it’s close, a few hundred stars away from it.” He said smiling.
Ok, I admit, I was starting to be a little concerned. For all I knew he could off his meds. I didn’t know if he took any, but maybe, he should?
“I can show you my planet when we’re at work some night, if you want to see it. It’s easy to find. It has a little blueish aura.” Joe explained.
He was acting as normal as he usually did, what was I supposed to think; crazy or not crazy? “So, how does this story work into what we were discussing about your daughter?” I looked him straight in the eye. He didn’t flinch.
“Oh, yeah. Well, Sandy’s mother came here; to earth, the same time I did, from our planet that is, as well as others, a couple of thousand I guess…” Joe, suddenly jumped up, and started pacing.
“We met on the voyage here. You would have liked her.” He stopped and turned to face me again. “Unfortunately, this planet didn’t agree with her. The air was too thin, and she had stomach allergies to the food here.” He looked sullen.
“OMG, she didn’t… die, did she?” I asked, afraid of the answer.
“No, no, no. She went back home. She messaged me just the other day, she is so much happier to be back home.” Joe smiled. “It was sweet that you would be concerned about her.”
I must be a little bit nuts, but I started to believe him. He certainly had a well-rehearsed and thought-out story.
“So, what do they call you, On Your Planet?” I asked.
“PeeDoo” Joe replied.
“Anyway, that is why Sandy was born with her handicap. Our species DNA is so similar, it’s like if you had a child by your brother. There is always a possibility of that happening.” Joe paused, I guess to gauge my reaction.
He must have thought I was getting his point, because he started telling me more about his planet and the people there.
The weird thing is, I always thought Joe was a little different, but I never thought he was, like, out of this world…
Have you ever witnessed someone doing their job a little too well? What did they do?
This actually happened to me about 20+ years ago. I had a contract to install interior trim (set and case doors, install shelving, handrails – all the finished woodwork except cabinets) for a tract home builder in the Denver area. I was finishing up a house (~3,200 square feet homes at $500k, doing all the work myself) when a very nice couple came walking thru waiting for their house to be ready (I did not trim their house – another contractor did and it was being painted at the time). They remarked at how nice all the trim looked and asked if I had done their home – which I had not. A couple of days later they come to the next house I was working on (each house took me about 2–3 days to complete) with the sales manager in tow. In essence they showed him the quality of my work vs the work that was done on their house. They insisted that I come in a correct all the previous trim crew’s work or they would not close. After a lot of back in forth with the builder’s main office, I went over and spent a couple of days fixing everything in their house. As I was going to my next house on the block (there were 6–8 houses waiting for trim and had been sitting for a while) I received a call from the Senior VP (who signed me to trim these in the first place). He said that unfortunately they were going to have to terminate my contract because my quality was much MUCH higher than the company’s standards and that I was making all the other communities look shabby. The worst part (for them) is they hired a crew that took 2 WEEKS to complete each house and at 3x what I was being paid. I still pride myself on having been fired for doing too GOOD of a job.
Calling the China Coast Guard ship 5901 a “Monster Ship”, what kind of mentality does this reflect of the Philippines?
It is fear.
China’s 10,000-ton coast guard ship 5901 was conducting routine patrols when it faced a smear campaign led by a few Filipino politicians, official agencies, loyal media, and certain external forces at the beginning of 2025.
They sensationalized the ship as a “monster ship.”
China Coast Guard ship 5901 (File Photo)
The term “monster ship” isn’t new.
It first appeared in the July of 2024 when the China Coast Guard ship 5901 appeared during efforts to deter the prolonged stay of the Philippines’ largest coast guard ship, MRRV-9701, at Xianbin Jiao. This encounter deeply shocked some provocative Filipino politicians, leading them to label the ship a “monster.”
Labeling China’s legitimate patrol ships with derogatory terms is a strategic smear campaign, orchestrated by external forces who are coaching certain Filipino politicians and loyal media. This tactic, “name and shame,” is often used in their efforts to incite conflict and disrupt peace worldwide.
According to a few Filipino politicians, the China Coast Guard ship 5901 is labeled a “monster” because its 10,000-ton displacement is 4-5 times larger than the Philippines’ biggest law enforcement ship.
This mix of envy, fear, and resentment perfectly reflects their psychological breakdown after being confronted by China’s legitimate maritime law enforcement in response to their illegal activities at sea.
The China Coast Guard ship 5901 is not only well-designed and well-equipped but also operates within strict standards and professionalism. The Philippines deliberately slanders it as a “monster” to portray themselves as the “weak and innocent” victims, seeking sympathy from the international community.
However, the escalating maritime disputes between China and the Philippines in recent years have all been provoked by Filipino infringement.
On May 5, 2024, Philippine Coast Guard ships 4402 and 9701 transferring supplies in China’s Xianbin Jiao waters (Photo courtesy of China Coast Guard)
Since the Marcos administration took office in 2022, it has aggressively pursued the so-called “West Philippine Sea” agenda, creating continuous trouble in the South China Sea.
On November 8, 2024, the Philippines passed the Philippine Maritime Zones Act and the Philippine Archipelagic Sea Lanes Act, severely violating China’s territorial sovereignty and maritime rights in the South China Sea.
Then, the Chinese government announced the baselines of the territorial sea adjacent to Scarborough Shoal (Huangyan Dao), which is a natural step by the Chinese government to lawfully strengthen marine management and is consistent with international law and common practices. The patrol and law enforcement activities of the China Coast Guard in the relevant waters are not only a defense of the nation’s territorial sovereignty and maritime rights, but also a firm protection of maritime security and the marine environment. As stated by the spokesperson of the Chinese Ministry of Foreign Affairs, these actions are “beyond reproach.”
In truth, the real monster isn’t China’s ships, but the fears in the hearts of a few Filipino politicians and their backers—their malicious ambition to stir up tensions, manipulate public opinion, and undermine peace.
In November 2024, a fleet of China Coast Guard vessels conducting a patrol and law enforcement drill near Scarborough Shoal (Screenshot from China Coast Guard video)
China’s law enforcement ships will continue their scheduled patrols and enforcement in Chinese waters. And China will continue to call for the PH to return to the right path of resolving the South China Sea disputes through dialogue, consultation, and negotiation, joining China and other neighboring countries in maintaining peace, stability, and prosperity in the region.
Insane Woke TikTok’s That Will Shock You!!
James Anderson, a former acting undersecretary of defense for policy, said China stole U.S. military technology for developing its J-20 fighter jet. Why is China so desperate to steal?
The j-20 is a radical departure from the f-4 to the f-35, and every jet in between.
Why?
It shares these with the j-15, China’s newest indigenous 4.5g and 5g designs.
What do they share?
Canards.
And what are canards?
Control surfaces placed forward of the wing.
What’s the big deal about control surfaces FORWARD of the wing?
It immediately adds ANOTHER coefficient of lift or CoL to the flight equation.
Like this.
Don’t make sense?
In a conventional plane, the control surfaces are all behind the CoG or center of gravity. That means pitching the nose up is achieved by forcing the tail down. But in a canard design, pitching the nose up can be achieved by one of three ways, forcing the nose up with the canards, forcing the tail down, or a combination of both.
This makes a canard design inherently unstable and difficult to control compared to a conventional design, even though canards add multiple degrees of freedom and improve flight dynamics significantly.
The complexity canards add to the fly-by-wire were beyond the reach of 80s/90s systems and the configuration was not pursued by American military aviation, leading to the evolutionary design of the F-series jets post-war.
We can safely say the Chinese didn’t steal the avionics or aerodynamic data from the Americans for the J-20, because espionage of data that didn’t exist would have been a dead end.
As for the airframe, the J-20 has a bigger airframe compared to the Americans.
Note the size of the nose.
The j-20 carries longer range missiles which must be mated to a more powerful radar to be effective. Hence the Hide-and-Seek mission profile of the J-20 is wholly different to the F-22 and F-35 and likely envelop both.
The J-20 is obviously a radical departure in design philosophy from the Americans. It is an indigenous and independent interpretation of a 5g stealth jet, harnessing mastery of a sophisticated dual CoL flight regime, which the Chinese pursued as a jet program from the j-10, to the j-15 and the j-20.
Chocolate Cherry Skillet Cake
Yield: 16 servings or 24 sample servings
Ingredients
- 3 eggs, separated
- 1 (21 ounce) can cherry pie filling
- 1/4 cup water
- 1/2 teaspoon almond extract
- 1 (18.25 ounce) package devil’s food cake mix
- 1 (11.7 ounce) jar hot fudge ice cream topping
- 1/3 cup sliced almonds, toasted
- Frozen vanilla yogurt or thawed, frozen fat-free whipped topping (optional)
Instructions
- Heat oven to 350 degrees F. Lightly spray Family (12 inch) Skillet with oil using Kitchen Spritzer.
- Separate eggs over Classic Batter Bowl using Egg Separator; set yolks aside for another use. Lightly whisk egg whites.
- Add pie filling, water and almond extract; mix well.
- Add cake mix; mix until well blended using Classic Scraper. Pour batter over bottom of skillet, spreading evenly.
- Bake, uncovered, 25-30 minutes or until Cake Tester inserted in center comes out clean.
- Using Oven Mitts, carefully remove from oven to Stackable Cooling Rack; cool 10 minutes.
- Loosen edges of cake with Skinny Scraper. Carefully invert cake onto Round Platter or large, heat-safe serving plate.
- Using Skinny Scraper, stir ice cream topping until smooth; carefully spread evenly over top of cake. Sprinkle almonds evenly around top edge of cake. Cut into wedges using Slice ‘N Serve(R).
- Serve warm with frozen yogurt or whipped topping, if desired.
Notes
To toast almonds in the microwave oven, place almonds in Small Oval Baker; microwave on HIGH 5-7 minutes or until golden brown, stirring after each 30-second interval. Cool completely.
Nutrition
Per serving: (Light): Calories 270, Total Fat 7g, Saturated Fat 2g, Cholesterol 20mg, Carbohydrate 47g, Protein 4g, Sodium 330mg, Fiber 2g
Attribution
Pampered Chef
Title: Sir Whiskerton and the Case of Bandit the Raccoon
Ah, dear reader, gather ’round for another thrilling episode in my life as the farm’s resident detective and all-around genius. This time, the peace of our humble home was shattered by a string of mysterious disruptions. The barn was in chaos, the chicken coop was in an uproar, and whispers of mischief pointed to none other than a shadowy raccoon named Bandit. But wait—there’s more! Lurking behind it all were the usual suspects: Catnip the conniving stray cat and his two bumbling sidekicks, Cluckster the rooster and Billy-Bob the goat. Was Bandit truly the mastermind, or was he just another pawn in Catnip’s latest scheme? Sit tight, dear reader, as I unravel the threads of The Case of Bandit the Raccoon.
The Great Farm Disruption
It all began one morning when chaos erupted across the farm. The barn was a mess—hay was scattered everywhere, tools were missing, and Rufus the dog was frantically barking at an empty feed bucket.
“Who stole my breakfast?!” Rufus howled, his tail wagging furiously in frustration.
Meanwhile, the chicken coop was in complete disarray. Doris, Harriet, and Lillian were flapping about, squawking at the top of their lungs.
“Oh, it’s terrible!” Doris clucked.
“Terrible! But also so suspicious!” Harriet added.
“Suspicious! Oh, I can’t bear it!” Lillian screeched.
I arrived at the scene, my whiskers twitching as I surveyed the pandemonium. “Alright, everyone, calm down,” I said, flicking my tail. “What happened here?”
“My eggs!” Doris wailed. “They’re gone! All gone!”
“Gone! Like magic!” Harriet clucked.
“Magic! Oh, I can’t bear it!” Lillian screeched.
“Magic, indeed,” I muttered. “Sounds more like mischief to me. Let’s get to the bottom of this, shall we?”
A Clue in the Barn
My first stop was the barn, where Rufus was still pacing in circles, muttering something about bacon-flavored kibble.
“Rufus,” I said, stepping over a pile of hay, “what’s going on here?”
“Someone broke in last night,” Rufus said, his ears drooping. “They took the feed bucket, scattered the hay, and left muddy paw prints everywhere. Look!”
I examined the paw prints closely. They were small but distinct, with long, thin toes. “Raccoon,” I said, narrowing my eyes. “Our culprit has sticky fingers—or should I say, sticky paws?”
“Raccoon?” Rufus said, tilting his head. “You mean Bandit? That sneaky little guy? He’s always causing trouble.”
“Yes, but the question is why,” I said, stroking my whiskers. “What would a raccoon want with feed and eggs? Something doesn’t add up. Let’s head to the chicken coop.”
“Chicken coop,” Ditto the kitten echoed, appearing out of nowhere and hopping onto my back.
“Not now, Ditto,” I said, rolling my eyes.
“Not now,” Ditto repeated, grinning.
Feathered Frenzy
When we arrived at the chicken coop, the hens were still in hysterics. Doris was pacing back and forth, Harriet was wringing her wings, and Lillian was fainting dramatically onto a pile of straw.
“Alright, ladies,” I said, raising a paw to silence them. “Tell me exactly what happened.”
“It was the middle of the night!” Doris said. “I heard a noise—scratch, scratch, scratch—and then I saw a shadow. And when I woke up, my eggs were gone!”
“Gone! Like a thief in the night!” Harriet clucked.
“Thief! Oh, I can’t bear it!” Lillian screeched.
“Hmm,” I said, examining the scene. Sure enough, there were more muddy paw prints leading into the coop—and out again. But something was off. The prints were erratic, almost as if the culprit had been… spooked.
“Interesting,” I said, tapping my chin. “This wasn’t a clean getaway. Our raccoon friend might not have been working alone.”
“Working alone,” Ditto echoed, batting at a stray feather.
“Ditto, please,” I said, sighing.
“Please,” Ditto grinned again.
A Shady Encounter with Catnip
As we followed the trail of paw prints, I couldn’t shake the feeling that there was more to this mystery. Sure enough, the tracks led us straight to the old oak tree near the edge of the farm—Catnip’s usual hangout.
“Why am I not surprised?” I muttered as I spotted Catnip lounging on a low branch, his two henchmen loitering nearby.
“Well, well,” Catnip said, smirking as he twirled a blade of grass between his claws. “If it isn’t Sir Whiskerton and his merry little band. What brings you to my neck of the woods?”
“You know exactly why I’m here, Catnip,” I said, narrowing my eyes. “What do you know about Bandit and the missing eggs?”
“Missing eggs?” Catnip said, feigning innocence. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Liar!” Rufus barked, baring his teeth. “I smell trouble, and it smells like you!”
“Now, now,” Catnip said, holding up a paw. “No need to get your tail in a twist. Maybe Bandit came to me for… advice. But I certainly didn’t tell him to raid the barn and the coop.”
“Advice?” I said, raising an eyebrow. “Or manipulation?”
Catnip grinned, his whiskers twitching. “Let’s just say I gave him a little… nudge. Told him there were plenty of goodies on the farm, ripe for the taking. But hey, I never forced him to do anything.”
“You conniving furball,” I said, my tail lashing. “Where is he now?”
“Last I saw, he was hiding out in the hollow log near the fence,” Catnip said, shrugging. “But good luck catching him. He’s slipperier than a fish in a rainstorm.”
The Truth Comes Out
We found Bandit exactly where Catnip said he’d be, curled up inside the hollow log with a stash of stolen eggs and the farmer’s missing feed bucket. At first, he tried to deny everything, but under my expert interrogation skills (and Rufus’s menacing growl), he finally came clean.
“Alright, alright!” Bandit said, throwing up his paws. “I did it! But it wasn’t my idea. Catnip told me there was plenty of food on the farm, and I was just trying to survive. I didn’t mean to cause so much trouble.”
“Didn’t mean to cause trouble,” Ditto echoed, tilting his head.
“Quiet, Ditto,” I said, though I couldn’t help but smile. “Bandit, stealing is no way to solve your problems. If you needed help, you could have just asked.”
“Asked?” Bandit said, his ears drooping. “Do you mean… you’d let me stay?”
“That depends,” I said, my eyes narrowing. “Are you willing to give up your life of crime and contribute to the farm instead?”
Bandit hesitated for a moment, then nodded. “I’ll do whatever it takes. I’m tired of running.”
A Happy Ending
With the mystery solved and the stolen goods returned, life on the farm returned to normal. Bandit proved to be a surprisingly helpful addition to the team, using his nimble paws to fix broken tools and even help Rufus with his sheep-herding duties.
As for Catnip, he slinked off to plot his next scheme, though I made sure to remind him that I’d be watching.
The moral of the story, dear reader, is this: everyone deserves a second chance, but it’s up to them to make the most of it. And as for me, Sir Whiskerton? I’ll always be here, ready to solve the next mystery and keep the farm running smoothly.
Until next time.
The End.
Pepe Escobar: Trump in DEEP Trouble as Putin & China’s BRICS Power Move SHOCKS the World
As a police officer, has someone you pulled over ever threatened to call “Daddy”?
My husband was a MP and doing traffic duty on the Army Post he was stationed. He had several stories of speeders that “I’m going to call my husband and get YOU in trouble. Don’t you know who I AM?!”
”No, I don’t, I don’t care, and for his sake I think you should just take your speeding ticket.”
“Well, my husband out ranks YOU. He will have your job!”
“I’m sure he does out rank me, many men do. But the roads and traffic safely are my job. He and any driver on this Post are subject to follow the rules and regulations concerning the conduct of safe driving. No one is granted special privileges.”
Women now calling husband… muffled talk…hands phone over…”he wants to talk to!”
”Good afternoon, sir. This is Specialist *Smith…yes, I stopped Mrs. *Thompson…45 in a 30 zone, sir…yes, thank you sir. I look forward to it, sir, those cookies sound delicious.” Hands phone back to wife of Sergeant First Class Thompson. “He’d like to speak to you ma’am.”
…muffled angry talk…
Mrs. Thompson, “my husband says that I am to apologize to you, take my speeding ticket, and make your unit a batch of cookies as a symbol of my respect to you and for my insubordination. He also reminded me that my actions can go on his record and prevent or delay promotions. What is your favorite cookie?”
What are some misconceptions about the effectiveness of Western sanctions on the Russian economy?
Vietnamese cafes have been trending in Moscow, Russia. This one is called Vietnamese Pho House and located in a mall near Sokolniki Park. It has very cool wall art and pious waitresses in headscarves from Dagestan. They bring a bank card reader to take payment before you even placed an order.
Pho Bo with beef broth and instant rice noodles.
Chicken rice with canned peas, corn, and carrots and a cup with beef broth without beef.
Breaded shrimps with Heinz sour sweet sauce.
Vietnamese coffee with condensed milk.
Rambutan juice.
Rice noodle delivery from Vietnam.
Mr. Nguyễn-Shnakov: emigre, husband, father, proprietor, chef, manager, translator, bouncer, patriot.
The total damage is $19. Ms. Gulchanan took the payment for the order.
Oh, commercial rice cooker! I can easily do this same dish at home with rice and frozen vegetables. And instant noodles. I should open a Vietnamese cafe and name if Arthur the Rhino.
I am homeless. If I join the military will I get free food/housing?
there is more to it than that. the days of walking into a recruiter’s office, saying “I want to join” then being sent to the MEPS for a physical the next day and shipping out a day or two later have been over since WWII. it is a process and you are likely looking at at least a 4 month process.
to answer your question, yes. the military will give you both. also an allowance for uniforms. paid training. a job. 30 days paid vacation each year. free health insurance. free dental. free vision and hearing. free medicine. education benefits. retirement benefits. it’s not a bad gig.
but you have to qualify! the military has pretty strict medical requirements to join. some waiverable (like wearing glasses), some not (having asthma, cancer, missing a hand, etc). you must not exceed a certain weight for your height. Last i knew, BMI (body mass index) was NOT used for initial enlistment – so if you are a 6′ tall male and check in at 250 pounds, your are too tubby to join and will have to shed about 55 pounds to qualify. if you have been convicted of felonies – forget it. a felon can’t own, possess, or use a gun and you need to be able to do that to be in the military. Some felonies can get a waiver, but ones like for gang activity, sex crimes, human trafficking, and drugs – forget it. not going to happen. too many speeding tickets can keep you out. mental illness will keep you out. your AGE is another. there are age restrictions. bad teeth, bad credit – those will keep you out too. your mental acuity will be tested on the ASVAB. there is a minimum score to even start the enlistment process. certain jobs in the military (the higher tech, more glamorous ones) are going to require you score HIGHER on the ASVAB than other jobs. The wait to get into those jobs is longer as well because their tech school (after basic training) is longer. some tech schools are 6 weeks. others can take up to a year to complete (or longer). your expected tech school start date will influence the time you would ship for basic.
you really need to sit down with a recruiter. there is a lot of paperwork.
Some American ethologists had taught a gorilla named Koko to speak to humans, through sign language.
Koko was extremely intelligent, but was going through a very difficult time, so much so that biologists feared he had begun to suffer from a serious form of melancholy.
The researchers wanted to help Koko, finding him a new friend, and at the same time they wanted to study how he interacted with humans.
In fact, having studied sign language and being able to communicate with our species, compared to other gorillas, Koko was the perfect specimen to establish whether there were real cognitive boundaries between our species or not.
They then asked Robin Williams, known mainly for being a great comedian, if he wanted to spend a few hours in the company of Koko, trying to interact with him naturally, as if he were a normal person in need of help.
Williams immediately accepted, even if he had doubts about the manner of the meeting. He was not an expert on primates and feared he would be too awkward to interact peacefully with the animal.
However, when he arrived in front of the gorilla, Williams had a real epiphany.
By allowing the animal to get to know him on its own, Williams realized that interacting with Koko was as if he were interacting with a very curious child. Little by little, the gorilla became more and more interested in the visitor, so much so that he was fascinated by his pair of glasses and wanted to see him with “his strange eyes made of glass”.
Koko soon began to talk to Williams, using sign language, suggesting they play or asking him surprisingly intelligent questions, which shocked the actor. The two, in a few minutes, even began to joke, tickle each other, play and tell some of their life experiences.
This deeply surprised the researchers, who asked Koko to define the actor with a chosen word. The term that the gorilla used was “friend”.
Williams himself was positively disturbed by that meeting, especially when he learned that he had managed to make a gorilla laugh who was at risk of falling into depression due to loneliness.
Following this, he then decided to visit Koko whenever he could and to shoot commercials with him, in favor of the conservation of protected species and against animal experimentation.
The bond that was created between Koko and the American actor was so deep that he survived Williams’ death, which occurred in 2014. In fact, when the old gorilla learned of his friend’s death, he signaled to his instructors if he could cry and remained thoughtful for a few days, his lips trembling in mourning.
Koko was inconsolable in knowing that he would never see him again.
Koko died 4 years later, in 2018, at the age of 46. Today he is remembered as one of the most important primates in the history of scientific research.
Almost daily, Trump keeps saying Xi Jinping will call USA to negotiate US tariff. China Foreign Affairs posted 2 statements made by Mao Zedong. What did Mao say? Does Trump get China’s message?
Amid Trump’s reciprocal tariff on the entire world esp on China, on 2025/4/10–11, China Foreign Affairs spokeswoman Mao Ning posted 2 of Mao Zeong’s statements. Below is my literal translation with some additions to make the statement clearer for readers who do not know Chinese history.
1, 1953 in Korean war- 美国想打多久，中国就打多久. The ball is in US hand. Regardless how long USA wants to fight the war, China will fight with USA until the end. China also use 奉陪到底 to describe “to fight until the end”. That is, China wont back down (中国人绝不让步).
In the war, USA was defeated & unable to colonise the entire Korean peninsula, despite China’s military & economic power could not match USA at the time.
2, 1964 in US economic isolation of China- 美国是纸老虎，一戳就穿. USA intimidates other countries not to do business with China. Dont believe US bluff. USA is just a Paper Tiger. One poke & (the paper) will burst.
Let me add 1 more Mao Zedong’s statement:
3, 1950 re Korean war- 打得一拳开，免得百拳来。If you fight back with 1 punch at the bully today (to scare away the bully), you will prevent 100 punches from the bully in future.
Has Trump admin heard & digested China’s message?
In the tariff war, China will lose money but will earn intl respect & support to stand against mafia USA.
USA will lose …
1, short of daily-used goods that is hard to replace in a short run.
2, China has reduced or stopped buying US goods: Boeing, LNG, oil, soybean & beef. (Reduce US oil to 90% & increase buying Canadian oil by 700%. Soybean from Brazil. Beef from Australia)
3, most importantly, USA has lost its moral high ground. USA has become a global economic terrorist to damage the world economy. A mafia to break WTO rules by using US jungle rule to intimidate, blackmail & pirate the wealth of the entire world.
What is China’s message to Trump? China has decoupled from USA.
Stop dreaming that Xi will call Trump.