16a

Ol’ Bogie was on the ball

I wrote about my days in school playing golf on a “Golf Team”. Here’s another story from those days.

There was a stray dog that lived there at the club. He was a cute little fella and he would get his exercise following the golfers around as they played their game. We all called him “bogie”.

He was a fixture at the club.

And on a couple of instances, I would hit the ball right onto the green and be inches from the hole, and I would be so happy that I had such a great shot. Only to have Bogie run up to the ball and carry it off to the woods to gnaw upon.

*ugh!*

The fun times ended when Bogie was hit by a car.

There was a highway that ran next to the Golf Course, and Bogie ran onto it one day. And that was it. Lights out.

Bogie.

Not forgotten.

Cute little guy.

Today…

The nastiest call I remember going on was a drowning.

The patient took pills and drank large amounts of alcohol beforehand. I dont know if this was a suicide attempt or if he was just partying too hard. Afterwards, he decided to go for a swim in the family pool and sank like a rock.

An engine crew had gotten there first and had pulled him out, not breathing. I was on a basic life support ambulance back then so a second ALS unit arrived after we did. We all loaded him in the ambulance.

Paramedics didn’t intubate back then. All we had was something called an esophageal obturator airway and we didn’t get a chance to use it.

I had just started doing positive pressure ventilation when this guy started to projectile vomit. Humongous, massive amounts. It looked like something out of The Exorcist, only worse.

The sheer volume was so copious that the suction machine was useless in keeping up with the torrent of gastric contents that erupted. I think he had swallowed half of the swimming pool. I finally had to turn the patient on his side and let gravity do the job.

Did I mention that it stank? Most puke stinks, but the added aroma of alcohol overwhelmed my olfactory senses. It was so bad that my eyes started to water and my throat began to tighten. I finally had to pull my T-shirt over my nose to help diminish the stench so I wouldn’t add more barf to the already growing pile.

By the time we got to the hospital, the entire floor of the ambulance was covered in at least an inch of vomit. We were all sloshing around in it like you would a flooded basement. When we flung open the double back doors of our ambulance, it cascaded out like a waterfall.

If you had told me before this that a human being could vomit that much, I wouldn’t have believed you.

Clean-up was horrific and took hours, as vomit had splashed up into the cabinets and every nook and cranny of the ambulance.

This was a lifetime ago so I don’t remember if he survived or not but I sure do remember the mess.

I was in a sports bar once with a group of coworkers when one of the men in our group got mad at some loudmouth from another table. My head was turned talking to another coworker when the hothead of the group grabbed the lemon wedge out of my iced tea and discreetly lobbed it several tables away, hitting the obnoxious patron in the shoulder. The guy started making a giant deal of it. The manager was called over but since the guy that got “lemoned” was super annoying to everyone they asked him to leave. Apparently no one had seen the guy next to me throw the lemon wedge but we could all tell it was him by how amused he was and how he seemed to know what the ruckus was when the rest of us were clueless. Anyway, the crybaby called the police and reported that he’d been “assaulted” by a large mob, which brings several police units. By the time the police showed up we had a good laugh watching them question the manager and a couple of servers who I’m sure relayed that there was only the smallest incident. Eventually, several of us were calling it a night and were in the parking lot getting ready to leave. I was behind the wheel of my car, and the “lemoned” man identified a couple of us as members of the the mob and told the police we’d all been drinking heavily. The police questioned me at length regarding the “assault”, which I truthfully stated I had not witnessed, and my fitness to drive but stopped short of doing field sobriety or other testing. I’d really only had iced tea (thankfully) and was only guilty of losing custody of my lemon wedge, which is not a crime.

Hot Cajun Pickle Chips

Hot Cajun Pickle Chips
Hot Cajun Pickle Chips

Yield: 8 pints

Ingredients

  • 1 gallon hamburger dill pickle slices
  • 5 pounds granulated sugar
  • 1 1/4 ounces garlic flakes
  • 2 ounces Tabasco sauce

Instructions

  1. Drain pickles in a colander for at least 30 minutes, pressing out the juice.
  2. In a large bowl, mix together the sugar, garlic flakes and Tabasco sauce.
  3. In a wide-mouth gallon jar, tightly pack alternating layers of pickle chips and sugar mixture. Close lid tightly and set aside on counter.
  4. Every 24 hours for five days, turn the jar over.
  5. Divide into pint jars and seal.
  6. Chill before serving.

I moved into a mobile home during my college years. I got my first electric bill, it was high but I’d never lived in a mobile home before so I thought it was normal. I met a few of the neighbors and found that none of their bills was as high as mine, I was paying almost $200 a month. So I called the landlord and she had an electrician come out. He saw I had no TV, not computer, no gaming systems, no washer and dryer, nothing but an alarm clock by my bed.

I was in class until noon every day then went to work at my full time job where I got off work around 9pm. I grabbed food on the way home so I wasn’t even cooking meals. I had minimal food in the fridge too.

The electrician put a test thing on my breaker box. They found that I was only using about $35 a month in electricity. They presented the test results to the electric company and they had a crew come out and find the issue. Someone had buried an extension cord in a PVC pipe from an outdoor plug just under the skirting of the trailer and they were using a bunch of electricity. The neighboring trailer, that’s where the cord went. Under their skirting. I have no idea how it was hooked up but they were using it.

It was UNDER the skirting, out of sight. It was like a utility plug in. It was under the skirting, hidden. I had no idea it was there.

Who knows who did that and when. It had been that way a long time I guess and the trailers were always changing tenants due to leaving school. So the person who had hooked this up had likely moved away a long time ago. All I know is when they removed the cord my bill went way down.

Being the Rufus

Deputy Jeremy McLaughlan stopped a vehicle for failure to yield to the right away. During his interaction with the driver, the deputy noticed one of the occupants was a child and saw that the child was not properly restrained in the vehicle.

The deputy noticed that the driver was having a bad day but always remained polite to the deputy. The deputy asked the driver why the child was not in a booster seat. The driver told the deputy that times were tough for her, and she couldn’t afford a booster seat.

As the driver was talking to the deputy, he noticed one of the tires was low on pressure and told the driver. The driver began to cry stating that bad things had been happening to her all day.

The deputy walked back to his vehicle and called his wife and asked her bring one of their children’s booster seat to his location.

Instead of issuing the driver a ticket and putting further financial strain on her and her kids, the deputy decided that he could give the driver one of his children’s booster seats.

As the deputy walked up to the driver, the driver was expecting a ticket. Instead the deputy gave the driver a booster seat so that the child would be safely restrained in the vehicle before driving off with a warning. The driver was surprised to see that the deputy would have done such a thing and was thankful.

We get it, we have bad days also. Remember sometimes we just need an act of kindness to get through a tough day.

Job well done Deputy McLaughlan!!!

Credit: Weld County Sheriff’s Office

Shorpy

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Chicken Creole

chicken creole
chicken creole

Yield: 2 servings

Ingredients

  • 2 teaspoons olive oil
  • 3/4 pound boneless, skinless chicken breast, cut into 1 inch cubes
  • 1/2 medium onion, sliced (1 cup)
  • 1/2 green bell pepper, sliced
  • 1 stalk celery, sliced
  • 4 garlic cloves, crushed
  • 2 cups canned chopped tomatoes
  • 2 teaspoons dried oregano
  • 1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
  • 1/8 teaspoon cayenne pepper
  • Salt and freshly ground black pepper
  • Hot pepper sauce

Instructions

  1. Heat olive oil in a medium nonstick skillet over high heat. Add chicken cubes, and brown on all sides for 3 minutes.
  2. Remove to a plate, lower heat to medium high. Add onion, green pepper, celery and garlic and sauté 3 minutes.
  3. Add tomatoes, oregano, Worcestershire sauce and cayenne pepper and return chicken to pan. Simmer for 3 minutes.
  4. Add salt and pepper to taste.
  5. Spoon chicken and sauce over rice and pass the hot pepper sauce.

Russia Commences Tactical NUCLEAR Weapons Exercises

Russia Commences Tactical NUCLEAR Weapons Exercises

Russia has begun tactical nuclear weapons drills in response to perceived Western threats surrounding the conflict in Ukraine.

Recently, French President Macron expressed readiness to send troops if necessary, highlighting the significance of preventing a Russian triumph for European security.

In addition, British Foreign Secretary David Cameron pledged $3.74 billion in military aid to Ukraine, affirming Ukraine’s right to use British-supplied weapons against Russia.

Russia’s current nuclear drills involve tactical nuclear weapons (TNWs). These TNWs are designed for battlefield use, targeting specific enemy assets without causing widespread destruction. They are smaller, less powerful, and intended to win battles by targeting troops, airfields, submarines, or aircraft carriers.

In contrast, strategic nuclear weapons aim to win wars by crippling the enemy’s capacity to fight with immense destructive force, capable of hitting cities and military installations.

Currently, the biggest global nuclear powers are Russia and the US possessing 10,600 of the 12,100 nuclear warheads globally, followed by China, France, and Britain. As of 2024, Russia controls an estimated 1,558 TNWs. Due to the lack of transparency, it’s unwise to assume the nation’s arsenal is limited to what’s publicly disclosed.

In a tense nuclear-fueled environment, pressure may lead military forces to opt for strategic nuclear weapons over less destructive tactical ones, potentially triggering a spiral of uncontrollable escalation.

With the use of a ‘small’ tactical nuclear weapon potentially escalating into a full-scale nuclear conflict, the  ‘nuclear taboo’ would eventually be broken. This breach would effectively nullify Russia’s adherence to the No First Use policy, initiating a nuclear conflict.

However, the primary concern is the potential for a full-scale nuclear exchange between Russia and NATO countries. With NATO members possessing significant nuclear arsenals, including the US, France, and the UK, any use of tactical nuclear weapons in Ukraine could lead to retaliatory strikes from NATO allies, escalating the situation further.

UNCONFIRMED Covert Intelligence reports that Russia’s new Defense Minister and President Putin, are under great pressure to FIRE such a weapon as a demonstration to the West that Russia is willing to use them.

Yes but it really was not a repair as I am not great with that stuff m

Yes but it really was not a repair as I am not great with that stuff myself. I was at our town library doing some work as my house was being worked on. There are plenty of small quiet spaces and with earphones you can do the odd zoom call if needed. Well I am there and get approached by a lady who said that she could not get the video part of her MS Teams to work and did I know anything about troubleshooting. Never saw her before and she was your basic soccer mom. I said I would try to help. So I go over and start trying a few things and she says she is going to run to the bathroom. I couldn’t resist checking her browsing history. Well it looks like she cleared it but did not realize that there were options as to how far back you clear it and had not selected the entire history button. You can guess….some videos in the history with “deepthroat” in the title as well as some dating sites etc. I managed to figure out that her external camera was the issue and without it her Teams video feature would work. She returned and I said I think it is ok now, she thanked me profusely and I went back to my spot. Wouldn’t you know that I start seeing her around town every once in awhile. About 6 months later I see her in a liquor store and I am buying some vermouth. She asks me if I like martinis and says that she makes a killer martini. I responded that I love them. To pay me back she asks if I want to come over Friday for a martini. I said sure. Needless to say she does make a killer martini…and also learned alot from those videos!

yself. I was at our town library doing some work as my house was being worked on. There are plenty of small quiet spaces and with earphones you can do the odd zoom call if needed. Well I am there and get approached by a lady who said that she could not get the video part of her MS Teams to work and did I know anything about troubleshooting. Never saw her before and she was your basic soccer mom. I said I would try to help. So I go over and start trying a few things and she says she is going to run to the bathroom. I couldn’t resist checking her browsing history. Well it looks like she cleared it but did not realize that there were options as to how far back you clear it and had not selected the entire history button. You can guess….some videos in the history with “deepthroat” in the title as well as some dating sites etc. I managed to figure out that her external camera was the issue and without it her Teams video feature would work. She returned and I said I think it is ok now, she thanked me profusely and I went back to my spot. Wouldn’t you know that I start seeing her around town every once in awhile. About 6 months later I see her in a liquor store and I am buying some vermouth. She asks me if I like martinis and says that she makes a killer martini. I responded that I love them. To pay me back she asks if I want to come over Friday for a martini. I said sure. Needless to say she does make a killer martini…and also learned alot from those videos!

Happened to me. I submitted my request for a leave a month ahead. The Head of HR and The Head of Department gave me an OK and signed my leave form. They also e-mailed my supervisor regarding that. Two weeks before my leave I reminded them again in an e-mail and again, they all gave an OK.

However, a few days before my leave my supervisor said that something came up and I couldn’t leave and if I did, there will be “some consequences” on my part ( those are her exact words). I was so angry that I went totally quiet and immediately tendered my resignation. Yes that was stupid but I was still young and silly!

Coincidentally, I remembered that my friend told me that the company she worked for was looking for her replacement as she was about to moved abroad following her husband overseas post (her husband was at that time a newly-appointed diplomat). So I contacted her and she arranged an interview with her boss and HR and I got the job, started the next month.

So off I went with my boyfriend , enjoying a two weeks holiday under the glorious Mediterranean sun. And when the holiday ended I checked out my e-mail and my inbox was flooded with emails from my former supervisor, summoned me to come back to my job. I ignored all of them.

Later on I found out that The Head of HR and The Head of Department were so pissed off at her because they approved my leave yet she rejected it for no reason, and most of all she rejected my leave without consulted them first. And when she was unsuccesful to get my replacement she was promptly fired.

I sent her a cake and a card thanking her , as I got a new job (with better position and a much better pay) as a result of her act.

China or USA? Who’s Better? (Americans Shocked)

i had helped a homeless person find a room in a rooming house and paid for his rent for several months. my memory is bad so i can’t remember the exact duration but i think it was over 6 months but under a year. during this time, i would buy food from costco and bring it to him. he would actually complain that he didn’t like certain foods that i would buy for him. pretty crazy, right? i asked him why he wouldn’t work and he just flat out refused to go through the hassle of trying and chose to beg instead. the landlady told me he was instigating and smoking in the house when he was told time and time again to keep to himself and not to smoke inside. she wanted to throw him out. i lived in the city but had rental property outside of the city, which is why i found him a rooming house in the city close to where we met. not wanting him to be thrown out on the street, i drove him 45 minutes out of city to my rental property to let him stay. the first day, he found a little portable safe and broke into it. i was kinda shocked. that showed me that i couldn’t trust him at my rental property and i asked him to leave. he told me that he wasn’t leaving and i had to evict him. mind blowing, right? long story short, i outsmarted him and got him gone that very day, but what a way to thank someone who went out of his way to help you.

FLASH ! ! ! U.S. PATRIOT Missile System, Captured in Ukraine by Russia — GIVEN to CHINA! ! !

US Patriot Missile System Captured in UKR Given to China
US Patriot Missile System Captured in UKR Given to China

Russia has captured yet another US PATRIOT Missile system – intact – inside Ukraine.  But since Russia has already captured enough to reverse engineer them and get all their secrets, Russia decided to

GIVE this one to . . . .  CHINA.

My best friend, who died 8 days ago. She had applied for a part-time job at the public library several years ago and was hired. She didn’t pass the physical exam because of her uncontrolled diabetes – uncontrolled because she didn’t know she was diabetic until then. She couldn’t afford insurance so she did her best to control the diabetes by changing her diet. This worked up to a point, but since she also had high blood pressure, she slowly went blind. Her family finally convinced her to move in with one of her brothers, but she have to re-home her beloved cats. When her sisters arrived to help her pack, they noticed she was saying things that didn’t quite make sense. They called an ambulance to take her to the ER where her blood pressure registered 250/175, IIRC. She didn’t understand why she was there, got progressively worse, and was admitted. It took a day or two for the staff to get a brain scan; the doctor said she’d had a catastrophic stroke. She kept pulling the feeding tube out of her nose, so they performed surgery to insert a peg line. She pulled that out. Her doctor wasn’t able to insert a new one. She was DNR, so they kept her comfortable until she died a few days later.

I fucking hate the American insurance companies’ stranglehold on our healthcare system. How can we call ourselves a “Christian” nation when we’re too selfish to take care of each other??!?

My friend is rich. Very rich.

Just a few days back, I came to know that his grandfather died. I was shocked.

His grandfather met me everyday in the gym. I still remember how I used to touch his feet and he would always say, “Son,perhaps you should touch my biceps, they are bigger than yours”. The man had a great presence. An aura.

I got a little concerned when he started to miss gym almost everyday. I asked my friend about his grandfather’s well being. He said that he’s ‘mentally unfit’.
I visited the ashram/old age house he was living now. He looked pale and didn’t blink at all. He was silent. Won’t utter a word. After 40 minutes as I was about to leave, the old man cried.
Grandfather: I have 3 sons. All of them are married and well settled. I started the family business 47 years ago. Did everything I could for my family. Little did I know that one day my Daughter-in-law would ask me to leave the house.
Me: But why would she do that?
Grandfather: She told me to shift to my other son’s house as he got better property after the division of assets. She said that they couldn’t arrange for my Caretaker when I got ill.

Couldn’t arrange? I said to myself. His grandchild drives a freakin Mercedes.

But his grandchild did look sad and worried. I can understand, I said to him. Dealing with the demise of someone close can be daunting. I still remember his reply.
Friend: You bet it is. You know how much we have to spend on his post death rituals? A freaking 5 lakh rupees.
Me: blank
Friend: Yeah. We have to hire the best caterer in the city. The best pandit. We have to book the best kriya hall. We have to invite all our business associates and colleagues. Arrange for their stay and travel arrangents. Phew! Reputation ka sawaal hai bhai.
(It’s about the reputation dude).

Yes, I’m still thinking about that old man. He must be so happy and proud of his children that they are spending so much on him. But he had to die for it.

P.S: The grandchild was no longer the ‘friend’.

Comics

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Yes, but this one didn’t win.

I was visiting a store. A lady was screaming. I looked inside. She was holding a boy by the arm. The store owner was at the back, looking in amazement at the scene.

She came out, holding the boy, her son, on the upper arm so hard that the blood was oozing out between her fingernails.

She let go, once outside. I asked the boy:

“Did she hurt you?”

“Yes, this time she really did.”

I handed over a Kleenex for him to stem the bleeding.

The mall guard was called, the police showed up…

She accused the store owner of hurting her son.

I was called as a witness.

Several months later, in court, in Canada, the judge called the case. She stood up. The judge said.

“Case dismissed, we don’t deal with people like you in this country.”

It cost her $ 7,000 for court costs. I knew her name from the case and had already found out that she was literally making millions in her American home state, suing store owners for sundry items, usually for harming her son. I guess the judge had access to the same information.

In USA, a lawyer can apparently sue on your behalf without you paying out any money. That makes it easy to sue and also make many “pay up” without spending money on a necessary defense lawyer, innocent or not.

In Canada you have to pay for your lawyer, both ways. She used the police in Canada to file a case on her behalf. That backfired, big time.

I doubt that this American lady (?) will try her game in Canada again.

It still cost the unlucky store owner $2,500 for the lawyer to take his defense statements. I felt sorry for him.

He took me for dinner as a thank-you for my statement. That cost him another $60. We had one beer each, with our food.

25 Minutes of Men Going Their Own Way

So much truth in this video.

Money

A man finds a wallet with $7000 in it.

A few days later, he reads a notice stating that a wealthy man has lost his wallet and is offering a $500 reward to anyone who returns it.

He soon locates the owner and gives him the wallet, and the rich man counts the money and says, “I see you have already taken your reward.” The poor man responds,

“What are you talking about?” The wealthy man continues, “This wallet had $7500 in it when I lost it.”

The poor man replied “I am sorry sir but when I found it up it only had $7,000”

The two men began arguing, and eventually they end up in court to sort out their differences. Both men present their case, the poor man first, then the wealthy man who concludes by saying,

“Your Honor, I trust you believe me.”

The Judge says, “Of course.” The rich man smiles, and the poor man is devastated.

Then the Judge takes the wallet out of the wealthy man’s hands and gives it to the poor man who found it.

“What are you doing?” the rich man yells angrily. The Judge responds,

“You are, of course, an honest man, and if you say that your missing wallet had $7500 in it, I’m sure it did – but if the man who found this wallet is a liar and a thief, he wouldn’t have returned it at all, which means that this wallet must belong to somebody else. If that man steps forward, he’ll get the money – otherwise, it stays with the man who found it.”

“What about my money?” the rich man asks.

“Well, we’ll just have to wait until somebody finds your wallet with the $7500 in it.

Single Mother SHOCKED No Man Wants to Raise her KID

So much truth.

Well you don’t do what I did.

My Head of Department called me into a surprise meeting with the Head of HR.

The interview started: ‘What haven’t you done?’ This was a bit of a surprise as I was up to date, so I said I didn’t know. ‘Well you haven’t done X and Y and Z’. ‘Yes I have and I gave them to my Head of Section and a meeting at which A and B were present as well’.

That went down like a lead balloon.

‘Well, your HoS states you have not done this work’. ‘Do you want me to go and get the work in question?’ ‘Well, why would she say you have not done the work when you claim you have’.

‘Probably for the same reason that she left newspaper cuttings, referring to the suicide of individuals, on my desk – ‘in the hope that you would be interested’. Or the same reason she has been making allegations against you’.

That went down like a deflated lead balloon.

This put the HR manager and the Principal in a quandary. She, as a militant feminist, had appointed my HoD and HoS to their relative positions, purely on the basis of sex. She therefore could admit to having blundered in these appointments, but narcissists do not like admitting mistakes, or she could brand me as a trouble causing incompetent. She chose the latter.

I was so incompetent I won a tribunal case of ‘unfair dismissal, and she was exposed as a liar at this hearing.

Turducken (a Chicken in a Duck in a Turkey)

Turducken is a dish consisting of a deboned chicken stuffed into a deboned duck, further stuffed into a deboned turkey. Outside of the United States and Canada, it is known as a three bird roast. Gooducken is a traditional English variant replacing turkey with goose.

turducken
turducken

Ingredients

Turducken

  • 1 (20 to 25 pound) whole turkey
  • 1 (4 to 5 pound) whole duckling
  • 1 (3 to 4 pound) whole chicken
  • Corn bread dressing
  • Sausage stuffing

Seasoning Mix

  • 3 tablespoons salt
  • 1 to 2 tablespoons paprika
  • 1 to 2 tablespoons garlic powder
  • 1 to 2 tablespoons pepper
  • 1 to 2 teaspoons dried thyme

Sausage Stuffing

  • Butter
  • 3 cups onions, diced
  • 1 1/2 cups celery, diced
  • 2 pounds spicy Italian sausage
  • 3 tablespoons paprika
  • 3 tablespoons minced garlic
  • 3 cups chicken stock
  • 2 cups toasted bread crumbs

Instructions

  1. Place the cleaned turkey, breast side down, on a flat surface. Cut through the skin along the length of the spine. Using the tip of a knife and starting from neck end, gently separate meat from rib cage on one side. Toward neck end, cut through meat to expose shoulder blade; cut meat away from and around the bone, severing bone at the joint to remove shoulder blade. Disjoint wing between second and third joints. Leave the wing bones and keep the wing attached to the meat.
  2. Continue separating meat from frame, heading toward the thighbone and being careful to keep the “oyster” (pocket of meat on back) attached to skin, rather than leaving with bone. Cut through ball-and-socket joint to release thighbone from carcass (bird will be open on one side, exposing bones left to deal with). Keep the leg attached to the meat.
  3. Repeat boning procedure on the other side of the bird. Carefully remove carcass and reserve for making stock. You should end up with a flat boneless (except for wings and legs) turkey with the skin intact in one large piece. Cover the boned turkey and set aside (or chill).
  4. Repeat the process on the duckling and chicken, but cut off the first two joints of wings, and debone both stumps of wings and leg drumsticks (cut through flesh at thinnest point and trim around these bones with a knife until they can be removed). Trim excess skin and fat from necks of birds. If it is your first time deboning a fowl, it is advisable to practice first on the chicken rather than the turkey. Both the chicken and duck will be stuffed inside the turkey and need not be kept “perfectly” intact. Make stock from the chicken carcass.
  5. Prepare Seasoning Mix and set aside.
  6. Prepare Sausage Stuffing. Melt butter in large skillet over high heat. Add onions and celery. Saute until onions are dark brown but not burned, about 10 to 12 minutes. Add sausage to the skillet and cook about 5 minutes or until the meat is browned, stirring frequently. Add paprika and minced garlic and cook about 3 minutes over medium heat, stirring occasionally. Stir in chicken stock and bring to simmer. Continue cooking until water evaporates and oil rises to top, about 10 minutes.
  7. Stir in toasted bread crumbs and mix well. Add more bread crumbs if mixture is too moist.
  8. Prepare a similar amount of another stuffing such as corn bread stuffing.
  9. At least 13 to 14 hours before dinner, assemble the Turducken.
  10. Spread the turkey, skin down, on flat surface, exposing as much meat as possible. Rub 3 tablespoons of seasoning mix evenly on meat. Spread sausage stuffing over the turkey in an even layer approximately 3/4 inch thick.
  11. Place duck, skin down, on top of stuffing. Season exposed duck meat with about 1 tablespoon of seasoning mix. Spread corn bread stuffing in an even layer (about 1/2 inch thick) over the duck.
  12. Arrange the chicken, skin down, evenly on top of corn bread stuffing. Season chicken meat with seasoning mix. Spread remainder of sausage and/or corn bread stuffing on top of chicken.
  13. With another person’s help, carefully lift the sides of the layered birds, folding the sides of the turkey together. Have a helper hold the bird while sewing the opening down the back of the turkey together using cotton thread. The bird may not close perfectly, and a strip of cheese cloth can be used to help close the “crack” in the back of the turkey so stuffing will not leak out when the bird is turned over.
  14. Since the Turducken has no skeleton, it must be trussed up or it may fall apart in cooking. Tie cotton string around the bird, widthwise, every inch or so along the bird’s length. Turn the bird over and place on a roasting rack inside a large roasting pan so it is oriented breast side up and looks like a “normal” turkey. Tie the legs together just above the tip bones.
  15. Heat oven to exactly 190 degrees F. Temperature control is critical since the Turducken is so massive that it has to be cooked very slowly at a low temperature. Using an oven thermometer is highly recommended.
  16. Place the bird in the center of the oven and bake until a meat thermometer inserted through to center reads 165 degrees F, about 12 to 13 hours. There will be no need to baste, but accumulated drippings will have to be removed from the pan every few hours so that the lower portion does not deep fry in the hot oil. Remove the Turducken from the oven and let cool in the pan for an hour before serving. Make gravy using your favorite recipe.
  17. To serve, cut bird in half lengthwise. Carve crosswise so each slice reveals all 3 meats and dressings.

Notes

The Turducken will need to bake for 12 or 13 hours at 190 degrees F, so begin preparation well in advance.

Credit for the creation of the turducken is uncertain, though it is generally agreed to have been popularized by Cajun chef Paul Prudhomme. The most common claimant is Hebert’s Specialty Meats in Maurice, Louisiana, whose owners Junior and Sammy Hebert say they created it in 1985 when a local man brought his own birds to their shop and asked the brothers to create the medley.

Duke

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One day, I was lounging in the house when I heard loud gunfire. I ran outside just in time to see my neighbors cart off Duke’s mom on the back of their flatbed truck.

After that, Duke spent almost every hour at our home. Curiosity drove me to ask my neighbor’s what his name was but all they told me was they simply called him Dog. A couple of months after that, they simply stopped feeding Duke. I started to feed him because I wasn’t going to let this baby starve.

When it came time for our neighbors to move, I asked them if I could take Duke off of their hands since it was clear they didn’t want anything to do with him. The son said yes, but the day after I asked, Duke was gone and so were they.

I contacted the son and asked if he had changed his mind and decided to take the dog with him and he grew defensive and put all the blame on me and threatened me. After explaining to him I didn’t have Duke, he hung on me calling me a liar.

In an effort to find this baby, I posted Missing Pet signs all over the local vets office within a 25 mile radius.

5 months passed before I got a phone call from the UPS man that delivered in our neighborhood. He said he saw a dog matching the description of Duke in a nearby field and he looked pretty bad. I thanked the man, hung up and drove straight to where he said he saw the dog. It was Duke. Malnourished and severely afraid of everything. However, one look at me and after hearing my voice he perked up and ran straight into my arms.

Now Duke is healthy and happy and has three other dogs and three cats to play with.Now we are a family.❤️

I worked for Price Waterhouse (a global accounting firm) at the beginning of my 20+ year career in public accounting. After a couple of years the powers that be had me teach a training class for new hires. I got good reviews so they had me teach more and more classes. I didn’t mind, I enjoyed it and it was a nice change of pace from the normal grind.

After a few years I became one of the go-to instructors for a variety of CE (continuing education) classes. CPAs have a pretty rigorous training requirements. Back then you needed 80 hours of training every two years.

Anyhow, one time the CE Coordinator called me late one afternoon and asked if I could take over for an instructor the next day who had to cancel last minute. It was summer and I wasn’t crazy busy so I said sure. The only downside was that the class was in Downtown LA. I worked out of the Orange County office so that meant I would have a shitty commute.

She told me there would be less experienced person there to help me and that she would email me the course materials. No problem.

I had to work late and then wake up early for the commute so didn’t bother looking at the course materials. At that point I had a pretty good foundation in a wide range of topics and had taught a lot of training classes so I assumed that I would be ok.

Uh, nope.

Turns out the class was for ERISA audits (401Ks) and audits of employee benefit plans. And, of course, I didn’t know that until I walked in the room and looked at the board. Despite leaving early I had caught some terrible traffic so I got to the class about 2 minutes before it started!

I remember looking at the 30 or so people in the class and seeing some older folks (meaning that they were probably senior managers, directors, or even partners). I was a manager so that meant lots of them were senior to me. Oh shit.

At that point I knew a lot about auditing but absolutely ZERO about auditing 401Ks and benefit plans.

I was not happy. I went through the intros and administrative items and then walked the class through the agenda for the day and quickly called a break. Fortunately my ‘assistant’ spent all of his time auditing 401Ks and benefit plans so I told him that he was in charge and would lead the class for the day. He wasn’t happy about it but it was the only choice we had.

When we resumed I fessed up about the situation to the class (they all had a good laugh) and then sat and listened along with everyone else for the rest of the day. The kid did a pretty good job too.

I stopped a car for a traffic violation late at night and the driver immediately got out of his car holding a gun. My first reaction was “this isn’t happening, this can’t happen to me.” I dropped behind my car door (which offers little more than psychological protection), pointed my gun at him and started screaming for him to drop his. I was still having difficulty believing this was happening.

Instead he stood there next to his car door with his gun in his hand pointed at the ground looking at me like I was crazy. I was too stressed to remember how to say “drop the gun” in Spanish. If he had raised the gun I would have shot him but what was happening did not make sense. He just stood there with his gun pointed towards the ground. I broadcast an officer needs help call screaming he’s got a gun into the microphone. There were sirens from all directions, one of our officers came the wrong way down a one way street and across the street we were on right towards the suspect intending to ram him. At that point he threw his gun down just in time and we arrested him. I was shaking and it took me some time to calm down.

Turns out he owned a restaurant in Los Angeles and was feeding some LAPD cops nightly for free. He had confided to two of them that he was carrying large amounts of money home late at night and that he was illegally carrying a gun for protection. As a psychopathic practical joke, at least one these cops had told him “if you’re ever stopped by the police get out of your car with the gun so the police will know you have it.” They were setting him up to be killed as a practical joke.

I and my supervisors knew he was telling the truth because no criminal could think up a story like that. Our detectives verified he owned the restaurant and was truthful. He was prosecuted only for the less serious charge of possession of the gun without a permit, not for the felony of exhibiting it in my presence. He got probation, no jail time.

Our Chief contacted LAPD and their internal affairs handled it – I was never told what happened to these rotten cops; hope they were fired. I’m glad I didn’t shoot him but it would have been legal if I had.

I got a verbal commendation from my Chief for being a decent person in not shooting him along with a polite lecture about my lousy officers safety tactics. There are a few bastards like this in law enforcement, but they are usually quickly weeded out.

Note 7–25-18 this was the LAPD of the 1980s and probably would be unlikely to happen now.

I owned and lived in a duplex, like a town house only 2 homes and it’s single story. My side had been empty for over a year when I bought the place. Needless to say, they were used to having full access to my yard and driveway. I’d come home from work and they’d be parked in my driveway or be having a party and grilling. At first I chucked it up to they’re used to using the space and forgot. But after 3 months and several other issues, it was a problem. There was a situation involving our dogs fighting because they opened my gate to use my hose that I’ve posted about previously. Even though the dog situation had subsided, they would still park in my driveway (he had a huge truck for construction work) or blocking my driveway so I couldn’t get out, if I was already parked. Several times I was late to school or work, or came home unable to park. Normally I would knock on their door and ask him to move it. But one night, it was 2am when I got home, he didn’t answer. I stood there banging for 20+ minutes until the neighbors came out asking what was going on. He said his friend is a tow trucker driver and legally he can’t park in, or blocking, a residential driveway. 15 minutes later the tow truck arrived and pulled his truck out of my driveway. I pulled in, parked and went inside.

*note I did verify that I had the legal right to remove his vehicle before having it towed laws may differ in different areas*

At the time, I suffered badly from insomnia. I was prescribed a sleep aid that was so strong, it was like I was in a coma. Nothing woke me up. 3 hours later at 5am, he started banging on my door. My dogs went crazy but I oblivious. Next thing I know I’m waking up to cops because they thought I was dead. I apologized and explained I was prescribed sleeping meds and that was why I didn’t answer my door. I informed cops that he had parked his truck in my driveway and I had it towed. He was PISSED, but legally there was nothing he could do about it. Cops told him the same thing, that in no circumstances could he park in my driveway. Believe it or not, I had to have his truck towed a second time because he blocked me in and I almost lost my job from being late to work. From then on, he parked his truck in his side yard.

Our HONEST Opinions About China After Going There for the First Time

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Jambo

RIP, Bogie. Funny thing is, I’ve been remembering (reminiscing? Not something I’m prone to usually, ugh!) some dogs that used to hang around my old neighborhood growing up in another time and another place– might as well be a distant galaxy now. One little guy, “Ben”, a neighbor’s dog, halfbreed pointer, jet black with a broken ear always dangling. She adopted him late in his life after years of abuse at the hands of some human cockroach, and he was one of the gentlest, friendliest souls I ever had the pleasure of knowing. He actually smiled. Constantly. All the time. A miracle given what he’d endured. He’d get a new tennis ball (from somewhere) every few days and would just turn up randomly on our doorstep– anyone’s doorstep, in the days when folks’ front doors were always open to the world– and drop that ball looking for a throw or two before he’d go off and chaw it to smithereens in his mom’s garden eventually. The world lost something the day Ben died, peacefully in his old age and loved at last.
RIP, Ben. Never forgotten either.

Last edited 3 months ago by Jambo99
Jambo

Your introductory memoirs always trigger my own, sometimes along similar lines, other times not. What’s strange is that often you write about some theme that I too had been reflecting on beforehand, such as the dogs, or the cats, or family memories I personally would prefer to remain buried. Yet pop up they do. And in some cases it’s just as well I don’t have access to that Cornfield. Only some though, I emphasize– by no means all. Ben was a nice thing to pop up. 40 years or more, and I can still see him trotting up to the porch with that mangey tennisball like it was yesterday. Those memories have to mean something, right? Or maybe it’s just that his life was meaningful in deeper ways we can’t understand yet. Bogie’s too.

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