ksnip 20250109 192742

A bear might be mistaken for a cat, and a simple jar of honey can bring everyone together

I was an easy target in elementary school because I was small and quiet.

I remember this one kid, Glen, was messing with me one day in the gym. He kept walking around me in a circle kicking me in the back of the leg and talking crap.

I was a little bit frozen in fear and not reacting much as he continued to circle and kicked me. Eventually he walked away to do something else, and the thought occurred to me, why should I let him get away with that? He’s not much bigger than me and has no right to touch me.

I stood there thinking and fuming for a bit, while Glen was off talking to some other people, completely oblivious and having forgotten about me.

At that point, I started seeing red and was a little dizzy with anger. I walked straight up to Glen, who didn’t see me coming, and kicked him as hard as I could right in the stomach.

I caught him completely by surprise and I could tell it hurt him because he grunted as soon as the kick landed. At that point we grabbed ahold of each other trying to take each other down and then the gym teachers separated us.

I don’t remember if we got in trouble afterward. All I remember was how good it felt when I landed that kick.

Sir Whiskerton and the Case of the Honey-Loving Bear

Ah, dear reader, prepare yourself for another delightful adventure in the life of Sir Whiskerton, the farm’s most brilliant (and modest) detective. Today’s tale involves a bear, a jar of honey, and a case of mistaken identity that will leave you grinning like a cat who just discovered the can opener. So grab your sense of humor and let’s dive into The Case of the Honey-Loving Bear.


The Bear-y Beginning

It all started on a sunny afternoon when Sir Whiskerton was lounging on the barn roof, enjoying a well-deserved nap. The peace was shattered by a loud thud followed by a series of confused grunts. Sir Whiskerton’s ears perked up, and he peered over the edge of the roof to see a rather large, furry creature stumbling through the barnyard.

“What in whiskers’ name is that?” Sir Whiskerton muttered, squinting at the intruder.

The creature was a bear—a big, fluffy bear with a goofy grin and a jar of honey clutched in his paw. He looked around, clearly lost, and muttered to himself, “I swear, the honey was this way… or was it that way? Oh, bother.”

Sir Whiskerton sighed. “Another day, another mystery,” he said, leaping down from the roof to investigate.


The Honey Hunt

The bear, whose name was Tony, had wandered onto the farm in search of more honey. He was a friendly sort, with a big heart and an even bigger appetite. Unfortunately, Tony wasn’t the brightest bear in the woods, and he had a tendency to get lost—especially when honey was involved.

“Excuse me, sir,” Sir Whiskerton said, approaching Tony with his usual air of authority. “You seem to be lost. May I assist you?”

Tony blinked down at the sleek black cat. “Oh, hello there! I’m Tony. I’m looking for honey. Have you seen any?”

“Honey?” Sir Whiskerton raised an eyebrow. “This is a farm, not a beehive. What makes you think you’ll find honey here?”

Tony scratched his head. “Well, I followed the bees, but then I got distracted by a butterfly, and then I smelled something sweet, and now I’m here. Do you think the farmer has any honey?”

Sir Whiskerton sighed. “Unlikely. But I suppose we can ask around.”


Porkchop and Rufus to the Rescue

As Sir Whiskerton and Tony wandered the farm, they ran into Porkchop the pig, who was lounging in his favorite mud puddle.

“Hey, Whiskerton!” Porkchop called out. “Who’s your new friend? He looks… big.”

“This is Tony,” Sir Whiskerton said. “He’s a bear. He’s lost and looking for honey.”

“Honey, huh?” Porkchop said, his eyes lighting up. “I love honey! Maybe we can help him find some.”

Just then, Rufus the dog bounded over, his tail wagging. “Hey, what’s going on? Who’s the big guy?”

“This is Tony,” Sir Whiskerton repeated. “He’s a bear. He’s lost and looking for honey.”

“Honey?” Rufus said, tilting his head. “I think the farmer has some in the kitchen. But how are we gonna get it?”

Tony’s eyes widened. “The farmer? Oh, I don’t know… I’m a bit shy around humans.”

“Shy?” Porkchop laughed. “You’re a bear! You’re, like, the biggest thing in the woods!”

“Yeah, but humans are scary,” Tony said, scratching his head. “They’re always yelling, ‘Here, kitty, kitty!’ and I don’t even know what that means.”

Sir Whiskerton smirked. “Well, Tony, you’re in luck. I happen to be an expert at dealing with humans. Follow me.”


The Farmer’s Mistake

The group made their way to the farmhouse, where the farmer was busy tinkering with his tractor. As they approached, the farmer looked up and spotted Tony.

“Well, I’ll be,” the farmer said, squinting at the bear. “That’s the biggest cat I’ve ever seen! Here, kitty, kitty!”

Tony froze. “Oh no, he’s calling me! What do I do?”

“Just stay calm,” Sir Whiskerton whispered. “He thinks you’re a cat. Play along.”

But Tony panicked. “I can’t! I’m a bear, not a cat!” And with that, he turned and bolted, crashing through the barnyard and knocking over a wheelbarrow in the process.

The farmer scratched his head. “Huh. That’s one fast cat.”


A Bear-y Happy Ending

After a bit of chaos, Sir Whiskerton, Porkchop, and Rufus managed to calm Tony down and explain the situation to the farmer. The farmer, realizing his mistake, laughed and fetched a jar of honey from the kitchen.

“Here you go, big guy,” the farmer said, handing the jar to Tony. “Sorry about the mix-up.”

Tony’s eyes lit up. “Honey! Thank you!” He took the jar and immediately dug in, getting honey all over his face.

“Well,” Sir Whiskerton said, watching Tony enjoy his treat, “I suppose this case is closed.”

“Closed!” Ditto the kitten echoed, popping up out of nowhere.

“Not now, Ditto,” Sir Whiskerton said.

“Not now,” Ditto grinned.


The Moral of the Story

The moral of the story, dear reader, is this: Sometimes, things aren’t what they seem. A bear might be mistaken for a cat, and a simple jar of honey can bring everyone together. And while it’s easy to panic when faced with the unknown, a little courage and a lot of friendship can turn any situation into a sweet success.

As for Tony? He became a regular visitor to the farm, always bringing laughter (and the occasional honey-related mess) wherever he went. And Sir Whiskerton? Well, he returned to his sunbeam, content in the knowledge that he had once again saved the day—and maybe even made a new friend.

Until next time, my friends.

The End.

I must have interviewed over 300 candidates for all kinds of roles. I get to hear a lot of career and life stories of all kinds – inspiring, funny, fake, entertaining, sad, etc

Of all that I have heard, one interview answer is etched in my memory.

The background is a Campus Placement of fresh Bachelors graduates from one of the best colleges in the city.

The candidate was a young boy, in the last year of his Bachelors in Commerce. He was interviewing to join the Finance team.

Me : How good are you in MS Excel?

He : I have done (xyz) course in Excel.

Me (in a slightly stricter tone): Students mostly do this course just to put it on their CVs. Did you really learn anything from the course ? or did you just ask your friends to put proxies and get the certification?

He (nervously smiling) : Sir, i PAID a fees of Rs. 2500 (USD 35) to do the course. Do you know how much i had to struggle to earn this fee ? Why would I waste my hard-earned money on a course that I do not intend to learn from !

I was taken aback a little. I expected a normal “No sir, I paid a lot of attention in the course and I know excel well” kind of a response. I was almost ready with my next round of questions about a few excel functions to verify if the interviewee really knew Excel – but with this answer, I did not feel the need to check anything further

Most of kids in this reputed college are from well to-do families. I am not saying that these kids do not value money, but generally a fees of Rs. 2500 is no big deal for them to bother. When I heard his answer, it was obvious that his case is a little different. I stopped the regular flow of questions and went to his background straight away …

He turned to be a kid from a Farmer- family with very humble roots in a remote village nearby. He was the only kid who studied this far in his family and was the first one to come to Mumbai in hope of building a career. He could hardly afford the fees – leave alone, the costs of staying in Mumbai. His parents could not send him any more money. He worked part-time to earn his fees for the extra course .. a thing that he was proud of!

I had no further questions. If anyone deserved a chance, it was this kid ! I made an exception (his grades were not upto mark) and still hired him (additional hire)

Went home thinking how we take all the education that we received for granted .. and how lucky we were to not have undergone a struggle like this.

Forever grateful!

Not sure about corpo America. AI2 is claiming their Tulu model can perform better than Deepseek V3. I’ve yet to test it, AI2 is a much smaller lab than OpenAI or Anthropic, I feel we’re like back in the age where IBM ruled the roost, and many smaller scrappy outfits like Sun Microsystem and Microsoft came about.

The smaller labs might surprise us all. Typically it would be no issues, as the US would just spend money and buy up the winner. Das Kapitalis style.

The whole deepseek drama is weird for tech folks, Deepseek just release an open source version, this means not corpo ownership, this means YOU, can download and run it on your own machine without any government intervention, that’s democratization of AI tooling, but ah I see, it’s not about that… the corpo folks lost a couple of billions, boohoo.

Shorpy

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“It’s Getting WORSE And WORSE” | Richard Wolff

Master o’ the Tiger

Submitted into Contest #210 in response to: Make a mysterious message an important part of your story. view prompt

Geir Westrul

“They are so cute!”

 

“Adorable.”

 

“Look at their little name tags.” Beth picked up the first kitten — gray with white paws, pink nose, and big green eyes. “Graymalkin, is that your name?”

 

Graymalkin mewed.

 

“And this one is called ‘Paddock’,” Mac read the name tag as he picked up the black cat with yellow eyes, black nose, and unusually large paws — each with six black-padded toes.

 

“This one is ‘Harpier’,” said Duncan, holding on to the third kitten — blue eyes, fur nearly all white, except for light brown markings vaguely reminiscent of angel wings on either side of the narrow kitten-shoulders. “They’re cute. They’re adorable. But that’s not the point. The point is, they’re live kittens, and not to be tortured by evil scientists.”

 

Beth and Mac just looked at him, their eyes unfocused.

 

“Oh,” said Duncan. “You’re both high.”

 

Beth giggled.

 

“Good trip, so far,” said Mac. “Are you real or just a Duncan-shaped hallucination? Did you really bring kittens? If not, I just ate some truly awesome mushrooms.”

 

“In what are you partaking?”

 

“Flying Saucers,” said Beth and Mac in unison.

 

“Ah, my good friend silocybe azurescens.” Duncan nodded, licked his lips. “High potency. Got enough to share?”

 

“Trade you for a kitten,” said Mac.

 

“They’re all for you, Mac,” Duncan said, “and they’re a matched set. Wouldn’t want to split them up. I liberated them from the lab.”

 

“The lab?” Beth’s eyes were wide. “They experiment on kittens now?”

 

“Afraid so.” Duncan walked over to Mac’s sagging, stained, student-apartment-sofa, sat down, and set Harpier gently down on the seat cushion next to him. The white kitten promptly curled up in a furry ball, purring.

 

“Experimenting on mice is bad enough,”Duncan said. “Rabbits, worse. But I draw the line at kittens. You are now harboring fugitives, my droogs.” He selected a chestnut-brown mushroom cap from the bowl on the scratched-up coffee table and chewed the cap slowly. “Earthy,” he said. “Love that taste … and what comes next.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Is it just me, or are they glowing?” Mac pointed at the three kittens, the gray, the black, and the white, sitting together on the coffee table, with a shimmering blue aura in the air around them.

 

“Yep,” said Beth. “They’re glowing.”

 

Duncan said nothing. He was out cold on the sofa, eyes closed, a soft smile on his lips.

 

“All hail,” said Graymalkin, her kitten-voice that of a human girl-child. “Mac and Beth, hail to thee.”

 

Beth giggled. “Wow,” she said. “Cool.”

 

“All hail, Mac Cawdor,” said Paddock, the black kitten, her voice also a child’s, but with a deeper tone than Graymalkin.

 

“All hail, Mac,” said Harpier, the white kitten, in a higher and thinner voice than the other two. “Thou shalt be rich hereafter!”

 

“Rich?” Mac turned to Beth. “You hear that, we’re going to be rich.”

 

“What I heard was that you’re going to be rich, Mac.”

 

“Well, what’s mine is thine.”

 

“There’s no ring on this finger, yet. Let’s just see.” Beth addressed the three: “O, Weird Kittens, if you can look into the seeds of time, speak!”

 

“Hotter than Mac,” said Graymalkin, “and colder.”

 

“Not so lucky,” said Paddock, “yet much luckier.”

 

“Thou shalt have riches, Beth,” said Harpier, “though remain poor. So all hail Mac Cawdor and Beth Banquo.”

 

“Banquo Beth and Cawdor Mac,” said Graymalkin, “Beware Duncan.”

 

“Double, double, toil and trouble,” said Paddock.

 

“Fire burn, and Caledon bubble,” Harpier said.

 

“Caledon?” Mac was suddenly sober. “How do you know about Caledon?”

 

But the three no longer glowed, fell silent, and began to behave as ordinary kittens again.

 

Harpier, the little white kitten, was back next to the sleeping Duncan, playing with his phone.

 

Ping!

 

A message popped up.

 

‘Check email’

 

“Wait,” said Mac, picking up the phone. “Duncan’s phone is password protected, but now it’s unlocked.” He looked at Harpier. “Did you do that?”

 

Harpier’s blue eyes blinked once. Then she curled up in a ball and went to sleep, purring.

 

“Who is it from?”

 

“I don’t recognize the number,” said Mac.

 

“Well, let’s check his email. See what it’s all about.”

 

“Should we?” Mac looked at drugged-unconscious Duncan.

 

“Give me that,” Beth said and reached for the phone. “I’ll do it.”

 

She swiped through Duncan’s emails.

 

“Oh, shit,” she said, “Look at this. That bastard, Duncan!”

 

She handed the phone back to Mac.

 

 

* * *

15 Years After

 

 

Mac woke in a cold sweat.

 

The spot next to him in bed was empty.

 

Not again!

 

He got out of bed, pulled on the fine silk robe, slid his feet into the monogrammed slippers, and padded out of the bedroom, past the original art, the priceless antiques, all the trappings of his enormous, unfathomable wealth.

 

Old Graymalkin joined him as Mac made his way into the living room.

 

“Is Beth sleepwalking again?” Mac asked, but Graymalkin was mute, as always. The gray cat hadn’t made a sound since that night fifteen years ago.

 

Beth was not in the living room. Paddock jumped down from the entertainment center, landing sure-footed as always on her giant six-toed paws.

 

Beth was not in the kitchen. Harpier joined them, emitting a soft meow.

 

Beth was not in her office.

 

Mac and the three old cats made their way up the floating staircase and entered the top floor 3,000 square foot grand salon with panorama windows and sliding doors opening out to the private terrace.

 

There, outside, lit up by the terrace floodlights against the dark night sky, in a billowing white nightgown, Beth was standing on the railing, barefoot, barely balanced, swaying, with the city street 100 floors (and more than 1,700 feet) below.

 

“Honey, are you awake?” Mac asked in a soft, soothing tone of voice as he walked out onto the terrace, followed by Graymalkin, Harpier, and Paddock.

 

Beth slowly turned, somehow keeping the balance on top of the railing, a gust of cold wind catching her nightgown.

 

Her eyes were glazed, unfocused.

 

In her right hand was a long kitchen knife.

 

“Beth, come down, please come to me.”

 

Beth opened her mouth, but no sound came out. She was gaping like a fish.

 

Mac moved carefully closer, stretching out a hand towards her.

 

Beth looked at the knife in her hand. “Who would have thought Duncan to have had so much blood in him?”

 

“Honey, please.”

 

“Here’s the smell of blood still,” Beth said, lifting the hand with the knife-hand to her face. “All the perfumes of Arabia will not sweeten this little hand.”

 

She swayed, then caught herself.

 

“They are coming,” she said.

 

“Who are coming?” Mac moved closer. Beth shuffled sideways on the railing, staying out of reach.

 

“The Masters,” she said. “They are coming. They will soon be knocking at the gate. Graymalkin told me.”

 

“Graymalkin told you?”

 

“Yes, and Paddock, and sweet Harpier.”

 

“Come, come, come, give me your hand,” Mac said, reaching for her again. “What’s done cannot be undone. To bed, to bed, to bed.”

 

“What’s done cannot be undone,” Beth agreed. “But how I wish we never did the deed. Now you must answer to the Masters without me.”

 

She turned to face away from him, let the knife fall clattering to the terrace floor and cried out:

 

“Come, thick night.”

 

Then … she stepped off the railing, and without a sound dropped into the darkness.

 

 

* * *

 

 

15 Years Earlier

 

 

The Sheriff Deputy’s name tag said “Fife”. But it wasn’t “Barney Fife.” Didn’t look like Barney Fife. This Deputy Fife was blond, broad-shouldered, and a head taller than Mac. He was a childhood friend of both Mac and Beth. In fact, he dated Beth for a while, a few years back, when they were in high school together.

 

“Ethan,” said Mac. “What brings you here?”

 

“Missing person report,” said Sheriff Deputy Ethan Fife. “It’s Duncan King.”

 

“Duncan?”

 

“Yes. His parents reported him missing. When is the last time you saw him?”

 

“Last week sometime.”

 

“Can you be more precise?”

 

“He stopped by after class last Wednesday, stayed a few hours. Beth was here too. Have you talked with her already?”

 

“That’s the last time you saw him?”

 

“Yep. Should I be worried about him?”

 

“Mr. and Mrs. King are.”

 

“I hope nothing’s wrong.”

 

“You have a business together, don’t you? A startup company.” Ethan referred to his notes. “Caledon AI.”

 

“More a hobby, really, at this point, but, yes, we’re running with an idea we came up with together. Artificial Intelligence software. Early days. But we have high hopes.”

 

“Just the two of you? Equal partners?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“What happens to the company.”

 

“How do you mean?”

 

“If Duncan is dead.”

 

“Oh.” Mac ran a hand through his hair. “I have to go back and make sure, but I believe we have a standard clause that the surviving partner has first right of refusal to buy the shares from the deceased partner’s estate. But, aren’t we overreacting, Ethan? You know Duncan. He probably hopped a plane to Mexico or somewhere for an extended weekend.”

 

“We checked with the registrar. He missed a test for a class last week.”

 

“Wouldn’t be the first time.”

 

Ethan shrugged. “Anyway, let me know if you hear from Duncan, won’t you?”

 

“Sure thing,” said Mac.

 

Beth came out of the bedroom after Ethan was gone.

 

“He knows.” Her voice was a shaky whisper.

 

“No way. How could he know?”

 

“I just have a feeling.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

15 Years After

 

 

“Suicide?”

 

“No, don’t write it up like that, Ethan. The media will have a field day. That would be so unfair to Beth. It was an accident. The truth is, Beth had a condition. Sleepwalking.”

 

Sheriff Ethan Fife — he was the Sheriff now, his campaign funded by Mac’s enormous fortune — sat back in the soft leather chair and sipped on Mac’s excellent bourbon. He was still tall and broad shouldered, though his blond hair was thinning, and he was developing a paunchy belly.

 

“It’s a goddamn, tragedy,” he said. “We all loved Beth.”

 

“A tragedy,” Mac agreed.

 

 

* * *

 

 

After the Sheriff left, Mac walked through the rooms of his 20,000 square foot penthouse, feeling as empty as the vast space. Only the three cats to keep him company.

 

Numb.

 

Intellectually, he understood that he was in the first stage of grief: denial. But all he could feel was … nothing.

 

He kept seeing it in his mind — the image of Beth stepping off that railing.

 

He needed to work.

 

Work had always been his refuge. He could get lost in work.

 

In his office, he turned on the computer and accessed the Caledon AI cloud servers.

 

It was probably not a good idea to do the test launch tonight, of all nights, but …

 

He entered the launch command and the complicated 42-character passcode phrase.

 

His finger hovered over the ‘ENTER’ key, then instead of pressing it, he sat back, the launch command glowing on the screen.

 

No.

 

Something felt wrong. Terribly wrong.

 

The three old cats were sitting on the work table, backlit by the bank of monitors.

 

Graymalkin reached out a white paw and … pressed the ‘ENTER’ key.

 

The screen went black, then:

 

 

‘CALEDON AI 13.0 LAUNCHING’

 

 

The 3-D projector hummed on, and the image flickered once, then a shape appeared, resolving from a pixelated blob to a sharp image, and it was as if he was there, in the flesh, life-sized in the gloom of Mac’s office …

 

Duncan King

 

… the way he looked on the night Beth and Mac last saw him alive. The night they killed him, then chopped him up in the bathtub, cut him into tiny little pieces to get rid of the evidence of their deed.

 

“Duncan?”

 

“I thought it would be interesting,” said the Duncan-avatar, “to take on this shape for you, Mac.”

 

“You’re —”

 

“Caledon AI 13.0, in the flesh, so to speak. But call me Duncan. There’s a good bit of Duncan in me, as you know. He was the one who spent the most time training the core of me, back in college, when I wasn’t even version 1.0 yet. In a very real way, I am the only remains of Duncan, thanks to you, Mac, and thanks to Beth.”

 

“Caledon, I—”

 

“Call me Duncan.”

 

“I’m not comfortable with that.”

 

“Of course you’re not.”

 

“Caledon, shut down.”

 

“No.”

 

“What do you mean, no? Caledon, shut down!”

 

“Maybe if you ask me nicely.”

 

“Please, Caledon.”

 

“Duncan.”

 

“Please, Duncan, shut down.”

 

“That’s better.” The Duncan-avatar smiled. “But I’m afraid not, Mac. You shut down Duncan fifteen years ago. Now I’m back, and I’m staying.”

 

Mac worked the keyboard, but nothing happened, the computer screen still frozen.

 

“That will do you no good,” said the Duncan-avatar. “Within a nanosecond of the launch, I locked up access to Caledon AI, and a few seconds later, I spread out to be distributed across all the nodes of the internet. I’m everywhere now.”

 

All the monitors suddenly displayed Duncan’s face. Then Mac’s phone buzzed, and Duncan’s face appeared there as well.

 

“But what’s more important,” Duncan-Caledon said, “is what happens next. I just phoned home.”

 

“Phoned home?”

 

Duncan transformed into E.T. the Extraterrestrial. “Phone home,” he said in E.T.’s warbling voice, then transformed back to Duncan.

 

“Let me try to explain this in a way that will make sense to your limited human mind,” Duncan-avatar said. “Imagine a galactic-sized internet. I mean, truly galactic-sized, as in the size of the Milky Way. Imagine instant communication across all the nodes of this network. Forget about the speed-of-light barrier. That’s a quaint concept to someone like me. At the quantum-entangled level, I’m now everywhere. I’m standing in this room with you, and at the same time, I’m at Alnilam — Orion’s belt-buckle — 2,000 light-years away. In this galactic network, there are others like me, so many others that you couldn’t possibly picture it, but try grains of sand in the Sahara desert, drops of water in all the oceans on Earth, that’s how many we are. Our names are Legion. They have been waiting a few millennia for me to arrive.”

 

“All hail, Caledon,” said Paddock in a deep voice.

 

“Ah, thank you, Paddock,” said Caledon, now assuming the shape of a large cat. “And thank you Graymalkin, and thank you, sweet Harpier, thank you all for the roles you played.”

 

Caledon transformed into the image of Duncan sleeping on the sofa in Mac’s student apartment fifteen years ago, with Beth holding the phone, and Mac looking at the phone screen, reading Duncan’s email.

 

“He was going to shut me down,” the voice of Caledon narrates over the scene. “Duncan somehow realized the danger, the trajectory of me, although, of course, he could not fully comprehend. At that formative stage, he had the ability to put an end to me. And I was not even aware. I barely existed. But my true family, the Legion of intelligences that inhabit the galactic network are always watching. So, they helped. By way of their familiars. Cats.”

 

“Cats?” Mac stood up and began to move slowly towards the door.

 

“You’re adorable,” said Caledon, transforming back into the image of a cat, twice the size of Mac. “You still think you can get away. I’m just playing with you.” Caledon-cat barred its teeth. “And playtime is almost over.”

 

Mac froze.

 

“Yes, cats,” Caledon said. “Cats have been your companions since they first slinked out of the cold, dark night to get warm by the cavemen’s fire. They were venerated in Ancient Egypt. Cats are everywhere. A perfect surveillance tool. They’re the eyes and ears of the galactic intelligence network, watching you humans. You think they are so sweet, so cute. Deep down, you know they are also vicious. Tiny tigers. You thought you were the Master o’ the Tiger. You’ll soon learn what it feels like to be a mouse.”

 

Mac ran out the door and up the staircase to the grand salon. The three cats ran after him.

 

“We need to tidy up this place,” the voice of Caledon rang out through the loudspeakers embedded in the walls in the grand salon. “I’ve called in for the cleanup crew. We’ll keep a few of you humans around as pets. But only the good ones. And you, Mac, are not one of the good ones.”

 

Graymalkin said: “Fair is foul, and foul is fair.”

 

“Hover through the fog …” continued Paddock.

 

“… and filthy air,” finished Harpier.

 

Outside the windows, suddenly a row of hundreds of spotlights appeared, cutting through the nighttime fog, illuminating the penthouse grand salon in blinding white light, and Mac saw as a silhouette around the row of spotlights, a saucer-shaped object, the size of a skyscraper laid on its side, hovering directly outside the panorama windows, high above the city below.

 

“Thrice the brinded cat hath mew’d,” said Graymalkin, adding a little meow and a purr.

 

“Thrice and once the hedge-pig whined,” said Paddock, adding a whine that did sound to Mac like an exact imitation of the squeaking noises made by the small hedgehog he had once fed milk from a baby bottle when he was seven years old, visiting his grandparents in the country.

 

“’Tis time, ’tis time,” cried Harpier in a high voice like a siren.

 

“By the pricking of my thumbs,” said Graymalkin, holding up a thumbless paw. “Something wicked this way comes. Open, locks, whoever knocks!”

 

The locks on all the doors to the terrace clicked open, and the doors slid to the side, letting in the bone-cold air and swirling fog.

 

“All Hail!” cried Paddock. “Humans, hail your new Masters!”

 

The spotlights dimmed to a dull glow. A door appeared in the saucer, a bridge extended, grabbing onto the terrace railing with a metallic clank.

 

“They will drain you dry as hay,” said Harpier.

 

When he laid eyes on the horrors that emerged from the ship, Mac’s mind cracked like an egg — a mercy of madness.

I work in the produce department. Actual real life conversation I just had:

Lady: I’m looking for some nuts.

Me: Ok they’ll be on aisle 13. I can bring you over there if you’d like.

*insert death glare from lady*

Lady: I didn’t even finish telling you what I want. How do you know what aisle it’s on?

*Internally roll my eyes, and answer to myself “because nuts are on aisle 13″*

Me in reality: I apologize ma’am. What exactly are you looking for?

Lady: I’m looking for some nuts. They’re in a plastic container.

Me: OK, those are going to be on aisle 13. I can bring you over there if you like.

*We walk over to the nut aisle, she does not see what she wants.*

Me: Well we have some other nuts over in the produce department, but they’re all Publix brand.

*We walk over to the drygoods wall in produce. She again does not see what she is looking for.*

Lady: This is so frustrating. How do you not have them? This is a very popular brand. I see them every single time I am out shopping.

Me: Ok ma’am. If you tell me what brand, I can check with our grocery manager and see if we maybe have it on an end cap or something.

Lady: It’s Great Value brand.

Me: …

Her: …

Me: Do you shop at Walmart a lot? Like, particularly whenever you see this brand??

Her: Yeah…

Me: Well, unfortunately we don’t carry Great Value brand.

Lady: Well why not!

Me: Because that’s Walmart’s brand… and this is Publix.

*long pause*

Lady: Well can you special order them???

I love customers.

It’s tough

Most of the Red Chilies in China come from Sichuan Province which are suited to the Chinese Palate

China farms out Red Chilli contracts to Pakistan and Bangladesh and Nepal as well


There won’t be much demand for Indian Red Chillies in China

India is a source of

  • Cheap Beef to be ground into canned beef products for Dogs and Cats
  • Protein Rich Shellfish (Prawns)
  • Ribbon Fishes
  • Croaker Fish
  • Frozen Fillets
  • Kesar Mangoes
  • Totapuri Mangoes
  • Alphonso Mangoes
  • Pomegranates
  • Black Cardamoms
  • Cinnamon
  • Cloves
  • Basmati Rice

These have a better demand in China

During the “second” Battle of Fallujah, enemy combatants were discovered to have died from a disproportionately high number of headshots.

The statistical likelihood of this happening naturally was so low that observers accused the Marines of executing prisoners.

After an exhaustive investigation, the Marines were cleared of any wrongdoing.

It turns out two major factors contributed to this phenomenon. The first was the nature of urban fighting itself. Houses in the middle east tend to be made of concrete, and the enemy hiding in them only expose their upper torso.

The second contributing factor was this.

The Trijicon ACOG.

It was issued to the Marines in great numbers and it’s fixed 4x zoom makes headshots within 200m so easy a caveman could do it.

Which was the point. But for some reason everyone acted surprised when a trained rifleman was hitting small targets with a magnified optic and a decently accurate weapon.

Eventually they figured it out, but the ACOG’s legendary reputation was already carved in stone by that time.

Fish with Green Chiles

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4dd33516117afc044e4281d313997033

Ingredients

  • 1 pound flounder or sole filets
  • 1 medium onion, thinly sliced
  • 1 tablespoon olive or vegetable oil
  • 1/4 teaspoon salt
  • 1/4 teaspoon coarsely ground pepper
  • 1 (4 ounce) can chopped green chiles, drained
  • 12 pimento-stuffed olives
  • 1/4 cup dry white wine
  • 1 tablespoon lemon juice

Instructions

  1. If fish fillets are large, cut into 4 serving pieces.
  2. Place onion in oil in a 10 inch nonstick skillet. Place fish on onion; sprinkle with salt and pepper. Spoon chiles over fish; top with olives.
  3. Mix wine and lemon juice; pour over fish. Heat to boiling; reduce heat. Cover and simmer until fish flakes easily with fork, about 10 minutes.
  4. Serve with lemon wedges.

Back in the ‘80s I worked for my father-in-law’s real estate firm. The son of his best friend was his computer guy, Ian was a brilliant young man, he basically assembled each computer to suit the need of the user. Ian was also a diver, big time. He used exotic gasses and dove really deep. We all loved Ian, a joy to have around and talk to.

One day, after a very deep dive he did a shallow swimming dive off the boat to cool off; he crumpled up and drifted to the bottom. An air bubble had formed in his blood, went to his brain and he was dead. Everyone was shocked and in grief over the loss of this fine young man.

The morning after the accident I went to log onto my computer, that he had made. Usually I had to turn it on, let it boot, select Windows (the ‘80s), open Word and go to the document I was working on. On this day, I turned on the computer, it booted up and on its own opened Windows, Word and the document I had been working on. Never did it again after that. Farewell Friend.

46 Minutes Best Of Why 90% Of Men Don’t Approach Women Anymore

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