“Thank you for contacting Atraxia Wellness: Clear your mind. Reset your life. Please listen to the following menu options…” a pleasant, though obviously robotic, voice chimed through the speaker. I reached for the tequila and a mug, cradling the phone between my shoulder and ear. I don’t know why, but I felt almost guilty for thinking about hanging up.

My hands were trembling, so tequila sloshed partly into my mug but mostly on my counter as the voice continued. “For inquires about spa packages, press one. For our intravenous refresh, press four. For outdoor wellness retreats, press seven.” They had more options than I’d ever heard. Even sober I wouldn’t be able to keep them straight.

I threw back my shot of tequila. “For information on the Pour Out Procedure, press zero,” the voice said.

Wasn’t that the one on the television? That seemed right. I don’t remember them saying anything about veins or hikes or yoga or…

I jammed my finger into the zero. “Please wait while I connect you,” the pleasant robot said.

The hold music— or hold nature sounds, I suppose— blared in my ear as I abandoned my mug and brought the whole bottle of liquor to the couch with me. Glorious, wonderful, drunken oblivion was only a few sips away.

My goal for the past several days had been to get absolutely plastered and forget every single bad thing that ever happened to me. Charley leaving, my father dying, losing my childhood golden retriever Rex, breaking my leg at soccer as a kid. None of it registered, none of it ached like a bruise, when oblivion finally found me.

I’m happy to say that I’ve been managing to meet my goals the past three nights. Just call me an overachiever.

The nature sounds in my ear stopped abruptly. “Thank you for calling Atraxia Wellness, my name is Xander, how may I guide your wellness journey?”

Oh, brother. How may I guide your wellness journey? Really? I should just hang up. “Hi Xander, I’m Lowen? I wanted more information on the Pour Out Procedure?” My words slurred together, and what the hell was happening to me? Why was every sentence a goddamn question? Why wouldn’t I just hang up?

“Ah, great! I can definitely help you with that!” Xander laughed. I belched. “Lucky for you we have a consultation for the procedure available tomorrow. Would that work for you?” He was too chipper given the late hour.

“Let me look at my schedule,” I tipped the bottle back for a quick sip, sweet release inching closer. My job and I recently parted ways. I knew I was free. “Yeahthat’llwork.” I hoped I sounded eager and not intoxicated.

Xander gave me the address to the wellness center. What did wellness center even mean, anyway? “I’ll see you tomorrow at 9 A.M!” The line went dead.

As my phone app closed, the time on my phone’s screen shone bright. It was 2 A.M. I knocked back the last bit of tequila in one, two, three large gulps and finally fell into the quiet darkness. And though I knew all this would do is blur some of the pain, put some distance between myself and my godforsaken feelings, that was enough for tonight.

The bus driver shot me one of those no-lip, sympathetic smiles as I darted through the half-open bus doors. I was fifteen minutes late, but I made it, and that’s what counts. Besides, there was a certain rush, exhilaration, excitement, to showing up winded by the run from the bus stop.

Atraxia Wellness Center was an enormous steel, stone, and glass box with an impeccably landscaped front garden and not one, not two, but three water features on the walkway leading to the front entrance. I gulped, nerves rising. I was a grubby mess that smelled like a liquor cabinet, still slightly drunk from the night before. There was no way I wasn’t going to draw attention.

The doors swung open and a tall, sculpted man in a white polo shirt greeted me. “Lowen, welcome! I’m Xander. It’s great to meet you in person,” he smiled, the expression not quite meeting his eyes, and ushered me inside.

“Hi,” I waved like a child. My cheeks flushed, thumb picking at the pad of pointer finger. Was I really such an inept idiot? Good god.

“If you’d follow me, I’ll take you to the consultation chamber.” He turned on his heel and began walking toward a bank of elevators.

Still slightly buzzed, I couldn’t contain my chortle, but I still followed close behind him. “Consultation chamber. Really?”

He pressed the call button and the metallic tube buzzed to life. “We take ourselves and our work very seriously at Atraxia. We are all about Clearing Minds and Resetting Lives here.”

There was no malice in Xander’s voice, no anything. He was simply stating a fact. Shame coursed through me, cold and sharp. I stared at my tattered shoes until finally, the elevator chimed and we descended into the heart of Atraxia Wellness.

The consultation chamber, as it turns out, was a lot like a therapist’s office. There was inoffensive patterned wallpaper, plush armchairs, and an end table holding tissues and a dish of hard candy. Across from that setup there was a sleek marble desk. It seemed out of place in the inviting space.

As I sat in one of the arm chairs, Xander closed the door and went to sit behind the desk. The nape of my neck prickled. It was worrying that the man that talked to me on the phone, as a result of me calling a number from a poker tournament commercial, was also the man that was going to talk me through a complicated medical procedure. It’s not just my buzz telling me that’s weird, it’s every fiber of my being.

Instead of running out of the “chamber” I folded my hands in my lap.

Xander smiled the same dead-eyed smile from the door. “The Pour Out Procedure is the latest advancement in well-being services here at Atraxia,” he started the moment our eyes met.

I nodded for him to proceed.

“Before I tell you more, I have a question for you, Lowen. Remember, this is a safe space,” he made some gentle gesture with his hands. “What’s the worst pain you’ve ever felt?”

I blanched. “You’re serious?”

He nodded, so I continued. Fuck it, right? What do I have to lose? “Um, I guess losing my father was really bad. I didn’t eat for a week because I couldn’t stomach the turmoil. But that was five years ago now. And I… well my partner left just a week ago and I thought we would be together forever. That hurt, too. She made it seem like it was my own fault things were ending. I didn’t know I could be that angry and confused,” my voice was thick, tears teetering at the corner of my eyes.

Xander floated over to me and perched on the arm of my chair. His voice was gentle, kind, as he spoke. “One hundred percent of people that come into this room, that have this consultation, mention some kind of emotional pain when I ask them that question.”

Tears rolled down my cheeks, fast and warm. Xander reached around my shoulders and handed me the box of tissues. “Now, Lowen, what if I told you the Pour Out Procedure could get rid of all of that pain forever?”

“I would say you’re lying,” but hoping you aren’t, I thought.

His laugh was smooth. “Emotional pain is the one thing standing between you and individual wellness. Emotions, good and bad, are the greatest barrier anyone faces to achieving clarity and starting their life fresh. Do you want to start your life fresh?”

“Good and bad?” Did I hear him right? That seems like a steep price to pay.

“Yes, the Procedure removes all emotions. But Lowen, look at yourself – are those good feelings doing anything for you right here, right now? Can you even access them through all this grief and pain? I am promising you a life with no more crushing defeat, bitter disappointment, or missed opportunities at happiness. Is that not worth it?” He procured a clipboard, sliding it onto my lap.

An inhuman sob ripped from my chest and my shoulders sagged with the weight of my choice.

An hour after I signed Xander’s clipboard, I was in Atraxia-branded white scrubs waiting to be called into the operating theater. Xander insisted that I call it a theater and not a room. My teeth chattered in anticipation. Or maybe in panic. Or maybe just an excess of adrenaline in my blood. Maybe it didn’t matter anymore.

A hidden door in the shiny white wall cracked open and a women in colorless medical garb stepped into the waiting room. Only her eyes were visible, but they reminded me of Charley’s, clear and blue and bright. I would miss those eyes, their kindness, their caring. I laughed at myself. No, actually. I wouldn’t.

The woman cleared her throat. “We’re ready for you, Lowen.”

I shot from my chair, finally sober enough for the room to not spin and followed her into the next room.

Every surface practically glowed, the sterile white tile reflecting the blue fluorescent light. I squinted as the other figures in the room refocused. It smelled strangely floral and not in the least bit sterile. In the center of the room there was a silver contraption that looked like a dentist’s chair with a nylon strap on the headrest.

Xander explained when I signed the paperwork that I would be awake through the procedure, that it’s necessary to remain conscious to make sure the procedure is working.

“Hey, Lowen,” Xander greeted me, stepping away from the small group of Atraxians. “Are you ready to reset your life?”

I rolled my eyes. So corny. I just needed all of this suffering to end. I didn’t care about resetting, I only knew that carrying on with the burden of feeling was not an option. I nodded and Xander escorted me to the weird dentist’s chair.

He strapped my head in. Instinctively, I tried to wriggle my way free, but then the rest of the team descended, strapping down my arms and legs. A needle pricked my bicep and the urge to break free disappeared.

“Take a deep breath, Lowen,” said a voice I didn’t recognize, but I obeyed. “Good,” they praised.

The praise felt good, warming my chest. The chair whirred and I tipped backward.

Then, it started.

A cold wave of grief washed over me, numbing my hands, my feet. It was like nothing I’d ever felt before. I was being hollowed from the inside out. Every memory, every thought, tinged by loss, by the gravity of despair flashed before me. The room lurched and tears blurred my view of the blank ceiling. I was falling into an endless black pit and there was no turning back. I started shaking, reliving every one of my most miserable moments, some of which I buried away, forgotten from years gone by.

It felt like it would never end, time stretched on and on and on, until finally a voice sounded behind me. “Lowen, can you tell us about your father?”

“He died of a heart attack five years and one week ago. His name was John, he was a teacher,” I recited, my voice flat. I knew that this should stir something in me, but it didn’t. It couldn’t, no matter how it tried to tug at the feeling. My hands began to tremble and I whimpered. “What-”

“Next,” someone said.

This time, the sensation was searing, like fire cascading across my entire body. My stomach turned and I retched. Gasping for air, I tried to break my arms from their binding but it was no use. I was crushed beneath the weight of the unknown, the uncertain, the unimaginable. Hot tears spilled from my eyes and would not stop. I wanted to claw my skin off, be free of the sinking worry until, finally and suddenly, it relented.

“Lowen, how do you feel about your drinking?”

“I drink too much, and it would probably be better for my health if I tried to limit my intake.” My voice was so matter-of-fact that it was amusing. I laughed hysterically. How ridiculous was that?

“Almost there, Lowen.”

A pleasant warmth, like a hug, enveloped me. My skin twitched and vibrated with pleasure, excitement. The corners of my mouth pulled toward my eyes and the blurriness of my vision disappeared. There was a woman, Charley, clouding my mind’s eye. Her eyes were a clear blue and the memory of her smiled at me. Then, it tunneled away, eventually dispersing like paint in water.

Everything went black.

A shoulder shake roused me. I was no longer in the operating theater. Instead, I was on a soft bed surrounded by plush pillows. Xander smiled at me. He was holding a clear beaker filled with liquid.

“Hello, Lowen. I have one more question for you. Do you know what this is?” He placed the beaker in my hand.

I held it in my eye line, examining it from many angles. “It’s my extracted emotions. There are many colors, the most prominent of which is gold,” I paused, trying to remember what my paperwork said about the different colors. “This indicates that majority of my experienced emotions until the Pour Our Procedure were positive, like happiness, love, and amusement.”

The liquid swirled, thick and viscous. “There are also a few spots of midnight blue, indicating negative experienced emotions like grief, anxiety, and depression, but not enough to overwhelm the gold.”

Xander smiled. “Very good. You’re ready to pour them out. Follow me.”

He led me down a well-lit hallway to a large room. In the center of the room, there was a large pit, dark and deep. Around the pit were others dressed the same as me — white Atraxia Wellness scrubs holding beakers filled with once-felt emotions that would never be felt again. I couldn’t help but think about what might have happened if each one of us had found each other before we found Atraxia.

We all stepped toward the pit together. My heart was beating fast, circulating the blood I needed to operate my legs and arms. Peering into the darkness, I saw a pool of gold liquid.

Clear your mind.

I dumped the contents of my beaker into the chasm.

Reset your life.

Shorpy

Chinese HDMI

China launches HDMI and DisplayPort alternative — GPMI boasts up to 192 Gbps bandwidth, 480W power delivery

The Shenzhen 8K UHD Video Industry Cooperation Alliance, a group made up of more than 50 Chinese companies, just released a new wired media communication standard called the General Purpose Media Interface or GPMI. This standard was developed to support 8K and reduce the number of cables required to stream data and power from one device to another. According to HKEPC, the GPMI cable comes in two flavors — a Type-B that seems to have a proprietary connector and a Type-C that is compatible with the USB-C standard.

Because 8K has four times the number of pixels of 4K and 16 times more pixels than 1080p resolution, it means that GPMI is built to carry a lot more data than other current standards. There are other variables that can impact required bandwidth, of course, such as color depth and refresh rate. The GPMI Type-C connector is set to have a maximum bandwidth of 96 Gbps and deliver 240 watts of power. This is more than double the 40 Gbps data limit of USB4 and Thunderbolt 4, allowing you to transmit more data on the cable. However, it has the same power limit as that of the latest USB Type-C connector using the Extended Power Range (EPR) standard.

GPMI Type-B beats all other cables, though, with its maximum bandwidth of 192 Gbps and power delivery of up to 480 watts. While still not a level where you can use it to power your RTX 5090 gaming PC through your 8K monitor, it’s still more than enough for many gaming laptops with a high-end discrete graphics. This will simplify the desk setup of people who prefer a portable gaming computer, since you can use one cable for both power and data. Aside from that, the standard also supports a universal control standard like HDMI-CEC, meaning you can use one remote control for all appliances that connect via GPMI and use this feature.

The only widely used video transmission standards that also deliver power right now are USB Type-C (Alt DP/Alt HDMI) and Thunderbolt connections. However, this is mostly limited to monitors, with many TVs still using HDMI. If GPMI becomes widely available, we’ll soon be able to use just one cable to build our TV and streaming setup, making things much simpler.

~ CHARLIE SUE ~

Charlie Sue was aggravated. Having been ordered to drop everything, put her life on hold and just go, she was heading to see Lilith Primus. A founding member of the Majestic 12 and since Lucy Lange’s disappearance, the new Director. Her supervisor Dale was just the opposite, ecstatic. Are you kidding? Going to Dougway Proving Grounds in Utah. The oldest, most advanced alien research center in the world. In all of his 35 years of back engineering alien tech for the government, he had never even left the facility. He was excited for his prodigy, impressing on her what an honor and opportunity this was. Charlie Sue was whisked away from her Lockheed plant in Marietta Georgia in a private luxury jet. Spent the night at the lavish Hyatt Regency in Salt Lake City, Utah. And now rode through the small town of Dougway in a 1990 Rolls Royce Silver Spur II Stretch Limo. It was a big deal. Still, it stuck in her craw. She didn’t like being summoned.

As they passed the heavily armored gate, she became more impressed as the Limo headed underground. It was common knowledge that the complex was moved fully below the surface after the deadly nerve gas debacle in the 1960’s.

Her chaperone for the trip, a quietly intense Air Force Colonel that she guessed was in his 50’s, took her to an enormous dining hall for lunch. While he avoided her gaze, they ate silently. He had not spoken 10 words to her during the trip and ignored every question she asked him. Curiosity got the best of her and she asked him directly, “Why won’t you talk to me?”

He looked up at her and sighed with irritation. “I am a highly decorated full bird Colonel with two wars under my belt. It’s bad enough that I have to be your babysitter. I have no desire to be your new little friend.”

Charlie Sue’s first reaction was, “Well fuck you too.” He shrugged and went back to eating his cafeteria mystery meat. Then after a moment of consideration she said, “I get it actually, I’m not happy about being here either.”

Soon enough she found herself deliberating in a spacious waiting room with concrete walls. The heated rumblings of an argument reverberated through a heavy hardwood door to the inner office. Then there was silence. A few minutes later, two creatures exited in disarray. A Blue Elbrine from the constellation Vulpecula appeared in distress. Well over 6”5’, he had blue skin, long thin fingers and a smooth, shiny skull. Almost unheard-of to see one alone. She was told that Blues always traveled in herds. Helping him was something rarely seen outside of the Bloworld. A female Drachonian. He pushed her away when he noticed Charlie Sue watching them. The She-Drach spied Charlie Sue and her visage instantly became a voluptuous blonde wearing a tight dress, just barely in the realm of being workplace attire. The Blue’s face was flushed red. He was visibly upset and possibly injured. The She-Drach placed a circular patch containing an assortment of computer chips onto the back of his hand and a studly, middle aged businessman appeared. Charlie Sue’s eidetic memory identified him at once. Lexington Singleton, billionaire industrialist and rumored to be the new Director of the Men In Black. They left in a rush and a smokey voice beckoned Charlie Sue to enter.

Across the office stood a tall woman wearing a form fitting Houndstooth dress to the ankles. At about 5”11’, 4 inch black heels put her well over 6 feet. Bright white hair halfway down her back was trimmed straight across. Her back to the door, she was fiddling with a bangled lampshade atop a bygone Victorian lamp.

The office would have been spacious if not cluttered with classy art and antiques, juxtaposed with oodles of brick-a-brack. Curtesy of a minor in art history, Charlie Sue was floored by several pieces of particular interest. Poppy Flowers by Van Gough, Harlequin’s Head by Picasso, Rembrandt’s The Storm on the Sea of Galilee and Dutch Doll of Finedon. All priceless paintings by the masters…and missing for years. A sculpture, The Golden Calf of Gozo, thought to be lost since the middle ages. The Statue of Marduk, supposedly destroyed in 484 BC by the ruler Xerxes. A hanging Daisho of a katana and wakizashi that looked suspiciously like coveted Muramasa blades from the 16th century. From working with Grey Aliens and their technology she didn’t think she could be surprised anymore. But this room was almost surreal to Charlie Sue’s grounded sensibilities.

The striking desk in the center was also impressive. A Parnian Executive model, they were rumored to be over $200,000. In contrast, the desk top contained only four items. A functional banker’s lamp, laptop, manilla folder, and a nameplate that read Lillith Primus. In spite of her authority and name recognition in the industry, Charlie Sue researched the hell out of Lillith Primus and came up with almost nothing. No bio, no social media exposure, no documentation. The last name was the Latin word for first; that was it. “Miss Primus I presume.”

The woman said, “Call me Lillith,” and turned to face her.

Charlie Sue was struck by her beauty. Emerald green eyes that were ever so slanted. Flawless caramel skin. Full lips and a sharp jawline. Her long neck accentuated by a simple black velvet choker. Charlie Sue was not attracted to woman at all but Lillith was super-hot.

Wanting to get on with it, Charlie Sue shifted with annoyance, while Lillith looked her up and down saying nothing. Finally Lillith opened the folder and said, “So. Charlotte Suzanne Swenson.”

The long trip gave her reply some edge. “My friends call me Charlie Sue, we’ll have to see if you qualify.”

Ignoring the remark Lillith continued talking, as if to herself. “You have a photographic memory.”

“It’s actually an eidetic memory, but that’s a common mistake.”

Lillith glanced up but kept going. “Okay, 5’ tall. 103 pounds. Your blonde hair is definitely long enough to be pigtailed. And your just pretty enough to be ingenueishly vulnerable. I think you’ll do.”

“I’ll do for what exactly?”

Lillith scrutinized her and snapped, “Stop interrupting me.” Charlie Sue sighed heavily, her patience was wearing thin. “You’re a high level gamer and an electrical engineer. A rare combination for a woman in her twenties.”

Charlie Sue was officially bored with it all of it. “Hey, stop for a minute. I saw Lex Singleton barely walk out of here. What did you do to him?”

“You’re awfully fast and loose with your superiors Charlie Sue. This can be easy or this can be hard.”

Defiantly, Charlie Sue demanded, “What in the hell is that supposed to mean?”

Lillith smiled for the first time. “Good, I prefer hard.” She pressed her neck and said, “Gerard, here! Now!” Lillith laid down the folder, made a fist with her right hand and slowly began to twist it. Charlie Sue clutched her chest with alarm. A painful knot seemed to be forming behind her sternum. It grew quickly and the pain spread out, enveloping her entire body. She dropped to her knees, gasping and grunting. As the agony consumed every cell of her being, she curled up into a ball on the floor expecting to die. Lillith came around the desk and prodded Charlie Sue’s shoulder with her pointed toe Jimmy Choos. “You’re going under cover for the Majestic 12. You’re going to work directly for me.”

Lillith opened her fist and Charlie Sue’s body released with a loud, slow groan. As she regained her senses, she wiped the spittle and snot smeared on her cheek and tried in vain to halt the release of her urine and feces. “Look at me Charlie Sue.” With great difficulty she looked up at Lillith and felt an emotion foreign to her. Fear. Lillith smiled. “I think we understand each other now, don’t we? DON’T WE YOUNG LADY?” Charlie Sue could barely nod then put her head back down.

The door opened and a frail looking elderly gentleman with gray hair, entered wearing a tuxedo. “Ah Gerard, Charlie Sue and I have been chatting. Please help her get cleaned up and provide fresh clothes. We have much to do in preparation for her new life.”

Gerard took Charlie Sue by the ankles and struggled awkwardly as he dragged her from the office, leaving a puddle of pee and a trail of waste on the hardwood floor. Lillith called after him, “Send the janitor Gerard. I don’t want this white oak floor to stain.

“Yes Mum,” came the reply.

**********

Feeling warm and safe Charlie Sue came around, but kept her eyes closed and shook out the cobwebs in her mind. The excruciatingly painful episode with Lillith seemed like a dream now. Feeling hands on her, she sat up startled and sent soapy water over the edge of an old style freestanding claw foot tub. Gerard was cleaning her with a washcloth, his voice was soothing. “Relax Miss, you’re fine. Are you thirsty?”

“Yes, please. My mouth is so dry.”

“Water perhaps?”

Charlie Sue nodded. Gerard walked to a small refrigerator next to a high end vessel sink made of marble. In fact, the entire oversized bathroom was marble. Floors, walls, vanity, even the toilet. He returned with a glass and Rokko No Mizu. The Kobe beef of bottled water. Charlie Sue immediately recognized the cartoon tiger on the label. She took a long drink and handed the unusual whiskey glass back. “This is hand-blown Boshi, isn’t it?” Gerard nodded, looking impressed. “The water, this bathroom, the rare art work in her office. Lillith Primus is what my Daddy would have called a rich bitch.”

Gerard replied, “Yes Miss, you’re quite cultured I take it?”

“No Mr. Butler. I have an eidetic memory, so I remember everything I’ve seen or heard.”

“A useful talent I would wager. Call me Gerard, please.”

“Why are you being so nice to me Gerard?”

“You are a good person. I can tell if people are good or bad, it’s a gift. I like you and we will be spending much time together.”

“Oh Lord, you’re not some kind of pervert are you?”

“No Miss, I’m here to help you. If you need anything, just ask.”

Without hesitation she looked back and forth then whispered, “Help me get out of here.”

“Sorry Miss, anything but that.”

“Well, then call me Charlie Sue I guess.” She rubbed the residual soreness in her chest. “What did she do to me in there?”

“Let me just say Charlie Sue, that Mum has many exceptional and unusual skills. Some innate, many acquired over her extensive lifetime. But none of them do you want to experience firsthand.”

“That’s odd you say that. I researched Lillith Primus and came up with almost nothing.”

“You were using the wrong name. Any of these would have been more suitable, Ilith, Abitu, Hakash, Hikpodu, Ayalu, Matrota. These are her true names, the ones that matter. Lillith is assumed to be from a Mesopotamian word for Night Demon, but it’s actually a direct translation of the Erran word for eternal.”

“So she’s definitely not American.”

“I realize that was a jest, but Mum has no demarcation in terms of ancestry. She is truly…unique.”

“She has to be from somewhere.”

“No Charlie Sue. Mum is the Alpha, the Genesis.” Charlie Sue looked at him perplexed. “Lillith Primus was the first human ever created.”

“Sorry Gerard. I can tell you’re serious but I’m not buying it. That would make her uh…I can’t even guess how old. Over a hundred thousand years?”

“ You have of course, heard of the great treaty among the ancient gods.” She nodded yes. “The new masters of Earth needed workers. The Errans, you know them?”

“Do you mean the Nordics from the Pleiades constellation?”

“Yes. As per a ratified contract with the treaty committee, the Errans took their own DNA and cells from a primitive indigenous population and created my Mum. It was their initial attempt. She was the first woman and the original human prototype.”

“That would explain the green eyes and white hair but it’s hard to swallow. Easy to confirm, though. If true then everyone on earth would have traces of her DNA.”

“No. I didn’t say she was a successful prototype. The Elders, a committee of four representatives of the senior races…”

“Senior races?”

“The Nephilim, the Mantis, The Greys, and the Annunaki. They had the final say on any actions that were treaty related. The Elders rejected her. Unable to agree on who should try again, all the different races decided to create their own breeds of workers. Hence the diversity we enjoy in the world today. Then Mum’s throat was slit, and they disposed of her.”

“Then why is she still here?”

“Ah!” His finger went up. “The Errans had done too good a job. No one yet realized that Mum could not die. The extraordinarily long life span of Errans combined with the primates ability to heal, merged into a physiology that was unprecedented. To put it simply, she is immortal.”

A skeptical snicker escaped Charlie Sue. “Why do you call her Mum?”

“She’s my mother. Would you like to hear her story? It is as you Americans say, a doozy.”

“Sure. But are you supposed to be telling me all of this?”

“It’s of no consequence. You won’t remember any of it anyway.”

“Wanna bet?”

From the doorway Lilith said, “I’ll take that bet. And trust me, you wouldn’t want to remember it anyway.” As Lilith walked away, her voice wafted. “Tell her all about me, Gerard. Then bring her to the Ice Box.”

“Yes Mum,” he replied. “Charlie Sue, would you care for a cup of tea?”

“Why, yes Gerard. Under the circumstances that would be lovely.”

Goetta

Goetta, a breakfast sausage, was originally a peasant dish, meant to stretch out servings of meat over several meals. It is very popular in the Cincinnati, Ohio, area.

Ingredients

• 1 pound ground pork
• 1 pound ground beef
• 8 cups water
• 2 1/2 cups steel cut oatmeal
• 1 large onion, sliced*
• 1 to 4 bay leaves (optional)*
• 2 teaspoons salt
• Pinch of pepper

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Instructions

1. In a large pot with a lid, boil the water, add salt, pepper and oatmeal. Cover and let cook for two hours, stirring often.
2. Add the meat, onion and bay leaves. Mix well. Cook for another hour, stirring often. Remove bay leaf.
3. Pour into any size bread pans. Refrigerate overnight.
4. To serve, slice the goetta and fry it until crispy or just until heated through.
5. Goetta may be served with pancakes and eggs, on sandwiches or in place of meat at dinner.

Notes

* Two teaspoons of savory may be substituted for the onion and bay leaf.

What is your biggest “only in the USA” moment?

It was 21 years ago, but until today it was one of the funniest and, from European perspective, strangest thing that happened to me in USA.

Two of us from Croatian Ministry of Defence were attending a course in Wright-Patterson Air Force Base (AFB) for a month. As foreign students we didn’t have a car, and we didn’t need one since we were stationed within the base, and it was only a 10 minute walk to the classroom.

During the first week there, we learned our way around, and found out that there were shopping malls near the base, well within walking distance (at least for us). So, first Friday afternoon, and off we went. After some 30 min walk, there we were, in American shopping heaven: outlet stores, JC Penney’s, Sears, Walmart, all different stores. Stores were huge, there were enormous parking lots, and stores were relatively far apart, 300 to 400 meters (1000, 1500 ft.).

But in typical American way, there is no path that one can walk from store to store, only roads connecting stores. For us it was ridiculous to get a cab for such a short distances, so we went on foot, across the grass. We started to walk, and then we heard police siren nearby. We didn’t pay attention, and we continued to walk. Siren went on again, this time closer. We continued to walk, coming closer to some road, but still not paying attention. Then, a police car with siren on stopped in front of us, and two policeman came out, directly towards us… We turned around, to see whom are they looking for, but nobody else was there. And then they yelled at us to stop. So we stopped. Two cops came, both of them having a hand on the gun, and asked: “Hey guys, what are you doing?”

From that point conversation went (something) like this:

We: “Good afternoon, we are walking.”

Police: “May we have some ID, please?”

We presented our International Military Student IDs. Seeing that, police officers relaxed, and moved hands off the guns.

Police: “Why are you walking here?”

We: “We are going from Sears to JC Penny”

Police: “But why are you walking?”

We: “We don’t have a car, so we walk.”

Police: “How come that you don’t have a car?”

We: “You saw our IDs, we are International Military Student here in AFB, and we don’t have a car with us. I mean, we have a car at home, but it would cost a fortune to bring it here 😉 “

Police: “OK, but why didn’t you take a cab?”

We: “Why would we need a cab? It’s only 5 minutes walk!”

Police: “But why do you want to walk? You should have taken a cab!”

We: “But it is only a short walk, and we like to walk!”

Police: “But nobody walks around here!”

We: “Is it forbidden to walk around?”

Police: “Errr… no, it is not forbidden to walk…”

We: “So we can continue to walk?”

Police: “But nobody is walking here! It is very unusual and suspicious! We recommend that you take a cab!”

We: “Excuse us, but we would like to continue to walk to the store”

Conversation went like this for few minutes more, and then police finally decided that they had enough, and they left us there to continue our walk to JC Penney. From that point forward we started to notice very strange looks from people in vehicles passing by. Obviously, seeing people walking was so unusual that it was enough to prompt police to investigate the situation 😅😅😅

On the positive side, most of the time someone from the WP AF Base would stop and offer us a ride back to the base, since they knew that someone walking on the side of the road near the Base was almost for sure one of the foreign military students, going back to base.