I woke up to this comment at the top of my comment stack.
Ah, what is fucking wrong with you people? I don’t need to read this, and I don’t want to promote this, but I am (at times) flooded with this exact kind of nonsensical gibberish.
Look people, I get enough of this “ugly” for a lifetime. I am sorry to put it on MM. Please accept my apologies, but I do want you all to see what is festering in the United States these days.
Today, well, this post is just going to be rather soft.
Please have a nice day, and make the most of what you have. Be kind to dogs and cats. Buy a cup of coffee for some co-workers. Try to add some good into the world, rather than vomiting out on everyone with evil, vile hatred puke.
Make the world a better place. In a kind and soft way, you can make a difference. You. Yes, you can.
Know that I believe in you guys.
What’s It Like To Date A Woman 25 Years Older Than You?
I dated a lovely woman that was exactly twice my age. I was 25 and she was 50.
She’d been through a terrible, abusive marriage, and had 3 grown children, 2 of which were older than I.
Her ex and her kids treated her like shit and unfortunately she let them.
Together we made a life running a business together that was successful enough for us to afford 2 homes, 3 nice cars, and a 30+ foot house boat.
Eventually I realized that while I had a damn good life, I was not happy.
Age is not just a number. It eventually gets to the point where you can see the huge difference.
I got tired of the Mom jokes and I was totally out of my element when her kids visited. I hated how they treated her and it became a source of contention for us.
Sexually, we were great at first, but that changed quickly as she went through menopause. She was no longer interested in sex and I was a raging 30yr old by then.
We started sleeping apart because her “back hurt” and I was just so comfortable with my life that I didn’t protest.
Things really started to fall apart when I was getting closer to 40 and realized that she just couldn’t keep up with the things I wanted to do in life.
I was taking care of her more and more and I started to resent her for it. Eventually I realized that unless I left I would be miserable.
I told her when I was 38, after 13 years together, that I thought it was time for us to part ways. One of the most difficult things I’ve ever done.
She was totally devastated. So much so that I almost stayed, just to make sure someone would be there to care for her as her health failed.
I begged her to become self reliant and moved out after 6mo. of trying to help her settle her life apart from me.
I moved out of state and told her idiot kids that they needed to help her.
That’s the last time I saw her. I left her with everything. Both the houses and 2 cars and the boat, also the business we’d built together.
Financially she wouldn’t ever have to work again. I started over with a pickup truck and about $2k in the bank.
Vintage Hamburger Goulash
“Found while surfing the net. I don’t remember what site I found it on.”
Ingredients
- 1 lb ground beef, browned
- 2 onions, large chopped
- 1⁄2 teaspoon red pepper flakes
- 1 (16 ounce) bag elbow macaroni
- 1 (28 ounce) can crushed tomatoes
- 1 teaspoon garlic salt (I use Lawry’s)
- 1⁄4 teaspoon pepper
- 1 teaspoon chili powder
Directions
- Saute beef, 1/2 tsp of red pepper flakes and 2 onions in large frying pan. Drain excess fat. Lots of onions makes this good.
- Meanwhile, in another pan cook macaroni in boiling, salted water until tender. Set aside until almost ready to serve.
- When beef and onions are finished cooking, add the canned, crushed tomatores and approximately 1/2 cup water; also add garlic salt, pepper, chili powder and mix well.
- Simmer for about 20 minutes; then add cooked macaroni noodles and mix well when ready to serve. If you add the macaroni noodles too soon, they may over cook and get mushy.
9 People Reveal Their Frustrations Of Being Raised By Overbearing Asian Parents
1. I visited a family friend with my parents, and while we were on our way back, my dad said he was discussing with the other parents about how me and their child, and most Asian children in this generation aren’t decisive/willing to take risks at all. I literally exploded.
Like why the fuck do you think we are this way?
Don’t you think maybe if you guys weren’t so fucking stingy with compliments and over critical with every single little mistake we made growing up then we would be a bit more confident and not deathly afraid of making mistakes???
Kid grow up to reflect how they are raised, it’s not like all of the Asian kids had a secret meeting and we just all decided to be constantly insecure and anxious as fuck and afraid of making decisions/mistakes in our life.
No, our parents literally raised us to be fucked up and then complain about it like we decided to be fucked up. Asian parents literally have no fucking clue how raising a child works.
They raise their child toxically and then expect them to magically turn out like they were actually raised by mentally healthy and loving parents. Fuck you.
I turned out to be insecure and anxious and pessimistic and afraid of mistakes/decisions because you raised me this way.
I’m not even holding grudges, but stop acting like I chose to be like this, no one would choose to be like this.
2. Asian parent logic: I must berate and emotionally abuse my children. I will never apologize to my children for any mistakes, even if they are my fault. I will not respect their boundaries.
At the same time, I demand fearful obedience, financial support in old age, and unconditional devotion.
Asian parents expect children to adhere to a social code that they don’t even reciprocate. It is insane to abuse a child, rip away any sense of self worth from them and expect them to love you. How is a child suppose to even reciprocate or learn something that was never taught or shown??????????
God forbid I ever bring this up to the pea sized brains of my parents. I don’t want kids because I don’t want to perpetuate this toxicity. It can rot with my childless body when I die.
3. It amazes me that parents think doing the bare minimum as parents is deserving of lifelong gratitude.
“We fed you and housed you and bought you clothes and let you go to school”
You are literally supposed to do that for your children. Don’t have children if you don’t expect to do this as a parent, you idiots.
Like you feeding and clothing your kids make you an exceptional parent. I mean what was the alternative?
Child services being contacted was the only other option. You don’t get praised in school for getting 50%.
4. My mum is always comparing me to someone. This includes but is not limited to: my sibling, my cousins, distant relatives, my OWN friends, random news stories about 8 year old prodigies… Even Obama.
It’s gotten to the point where I’ve literally heard it all until today I was gushing about BTS and how proud I am of them for coming so far especially with their Grammy nomination, when my mum said this:
“Look at BTS working so hard. Why don’t you work as hard as them? They are so hard working. You’re not even worth BTS.”
5. Asian Parents sometimes like to say that we are “ungrateful” and “entitled”. I think the opposite. I think THEY are the ones who are ungrateful and entitled.
They assume we should be automatically happy after being provided a “roof on your head, food to eat, clothes to wear”. They assume that just because of these things, we should be willing to do anything and everything they want, exactly the way they want it, whenever they want it.
That’s called being entitled.
They don’t like the fact that we have our own emotions, our own plans. It means, in their eyes, that we are “ungrateful”. However, being called ungrateful is nothing more than an insult. It holds no weight, parents are just mad that their directions are not being followed. Instead of appreciating that you have a child who does even decently at school, or piano, or anything, you hold them up to these ridiculous standards, always expecting more than what they have.
That in my view, is called being ungrateful.
6. The problem with Asian parents is that they refuse to look at us as separate human beings with our own thoughts, emotions, etc.
They also want control over every aspect of their life, I guess this extends to control of their kids.
And THEN they act surprised when all this backfires. “Oh, WHY IS HE LYING TO US”. Maybe because you restrict fucking everything? Come on.
7. Expecting kids to behave according to cultural practices of a place 1000s of miles away goes against our nature as human beings
As a student of science and psychology specifically, it kills me to see asian parents expecting their children who came here young or were born here to follow norms of a country in some other continent. It literally goes against our nature to adapt to places that are NOT in our immediate environment. It is completely abnormal and dysfunctional to raise kids with the expectation. If you are westnerized and live in the west then that means you are showing signs of healthy human behavior. We are not meant to stay in one time and place or adapt to environments that are not ours. We’d not make it as a species if this were the case.
I’ve seen parents who have been here for decades (my own especially) who literally show immense pride for not changing and still being very cultured. That’s insane to me. If you’re in a country for 30 years and you still live like you were back home then there is something incredibly dysfunctional about you. That’s not normal and horrible for your kids and this is because there is all this pressure to adhere to a place that they’ve never lived in while telling them to actively reject the place that you do.
Don’t get me wrong, I think celebrating your culture is great and incorporating culture in your life if thats your thing is fine. However, celebrating your culture and imposing culture on kids are very different and often the culture being imposed is not even the current culture back home anyways. What really happens (and I’m basing this on my mom) is that people back home have changed and grown and she has stuck in some 1970s time capsule that she keeps telling me to believe is what our culture back home looks like now.
8. I am every tiger parent’s dream daughter, and I am miserable
Thin, youthful, physically attractive, athletic, near-perfect health. Attended a top U.S. engineering school. Software engineer at Google. On track to be top 1% income and top 6% wealth for my age group within a year.
Yet they treat me like shit. Constantly screaming. Criticizing my every purchase. Asking how much I paid for certain items (coffee, food, bicycle) and complaining that I spend too much money. Not to mention back when I was a child I was screamed at and beaten every day, despite being a pretty good daughter. I have accomplished everything a tiger parent could ask for, yet I am miserable and so are my parents.
9. Turning 30 next month. My entire teens and 20s up to 27 was wasted. The best years of my life, under the vice grip of my overbearing, manipulative parents.
I was forced to commute to university. Never had the uni experience. Just classes and back home. By the time I entered the work world I was extremely under developed socially.
I got a great first job at a famous brand but compared to all the other grads there I was so far behind in every sense of being a professional. They were all great at shmoozing and articulating themselves. Being fun without being creepy. Being assertive in meetings and presentations. Organizing after-work grad socials etc. Meanwhile, I was the complete opposite of all that.
Even just everyday conversations they were all so well versed in different topics. Meanwhile I was sooo sheltered I had nothing to add to a conversation or tell a story. Mate, even my vocabulary, and literally how I string sentences together was underdeveloped.
And when I tried to fit in it came across very contrived and probably very creepy. I quit the job a year in because it was easier to run than get “found out”.
I didn’t start dating til 22. Even this was half-hearted because of the mental programming by APs and forced to stay at home, curfew and general overbearingness by them.
They didn’t know I was dating. But whenever I would go out my mum would literally harass me with calls and shouting when I got back home it was just easier to be an incel than deal with her bullshit.
Had no hobbies, because these were all labelled a waste of time.
Normally I used the gym to block and drown these regrets and feelings of self-pity. But since lockdown and no gym I’ve been abusing drink and food to avoid these thoughts. I just cant get over it. And I know these feelings will get worse the older I get and more time distance from my 20s.
I feel like at 29 I am at the development level of where most normal 20 year olds are.
I absolutely resent my parents and myself. I have immense self hate because of this shit.
Origami Inspired Pet Houses Will Give Your Furry Friend a Stylish Abode
Japanese companies Netco and TENEO have collaborated to dream up these charming pet houses using traditional origami techniques, and begun a crowdfunding project to realize them that is sure to please cat and small dog lovers.
The main material is a foldable eco-friendly strain of cardboard. The production team has also consulted Professor Jun Mitani ,a Tsukuba University professor part of an origami research lab, to ensure pets’ comfort while retaining the beauty of the origami structure.
The main purpose of this project has been to integrate the Japanese tradition into modern lifestyle living. This project was a collaborative work between two parties; a new apparel brand, TENEO and an event marketing company, Nouvelle Vague.
The Thoughts And Feelings Of A Police Officer Who Just Shot Someone To Death
I was involved in my first on duty shooting incident. And I killed someone. It is considered a justified shooting, but never the less its been keeping me up at night. And I thought maybe sharing it will help me process what happened.
I was watching a red light that’s known to produce some speeders and considered a dangerous intersection.
When I witnessed a car run the red light at a high rate of speed. I began pursuit, thinking it was a normal traffic stop. The car pulled over shortly after I began the pursuit.
I was getting out of my vehicle when all of a sudden when the driver stuck his hand out of the window and began shooting at me.
I immediately jumped back, pulled out my gun and returned fire. I swear it felt like it was an hour long shoot out but I watched the dash cam, and body cam, and it was literally a few seconds before the car took off again, I kept firing after the car took over, believe it was 3 or 4 shots.
I then got back into my car and took off in pursuit again, called in back up, when the car started to act erratically a few hundred meters from where the shooting took place the vehicle ran off the road and into a ditch.
I pulled up behind it, and grabbed my rifle positioned myself and called for the driver to stick his hands out.
I wasn’t getting any response, after a few calls I decided to approach the vehicle. My eyes were trained on the driver seat as from what I saw there was only the driver in the vehicle, as I get closer I can see the steering wheel, interior of the windshield is covered in blood.
I later learned I hit the suspect twice, once in the shoulder once in the head, it had been the last few shots I had taken as he had already taken off.
The suspect was dead, I then hear crying, look in the passenger side rear seat and see a 3 yr old boy crying his eyes out calling for his daddy.
Then it hit me, I had just killed this little boys daddy right in front of him.
I checked on the boy, thankfully outside of a bit of bruising caused by the crash he was ok. Shook up and scared out of his mind, but alright.
When back up arrived I had the boy sitting on the hood of my car, but outside of that the incident was over.
I later learned the person I shot at had warrants out for his arrest and he was facing some serious charges and serious time in jail.
Also after looking at my patrol car I noticed the suspect shot the hood of my car, the windshield, and the door I was behind.
It still keeps me up at night, this was the first time I was ever involved in a shooting, and first time I ever killed someone and I pray its the last time.
I think back on the emotions, and its so complex, it went from regular traffic stop to panic, to anger, to fear, and when I saw the boy a brief moment of anger that this would risk his child life over his stupidity to sorrow for that boy having witnessed his dad get killed in front of his own eyes.
I keep going back to that moment asking myself if I should have done something differently, but I can’t think of anything.
The suspect was in my opinion easily going 20+ above the speed limit, plus he ran a red light.
The second he started shooting at me he took away my choices, I had no choice but to return fire. My chief told me it was a text book use of force.
But it still keeps me up at night. At first I declined therapy, but a week or so ago I agreed to it.
One of the things that really brothers me is what if I had shoot the 3 yr old in the process?
His rear window was full of my shots, I’m sure a few inches over, and I may killed a child, that’s what really keeps me up at night.
That day also made me realize how close I am came to getting seriously injured or worst.
I would hate for my family to get the visit from my chief telling them I had been killed in the line of the duty. It sometimes really makes me question why I do what I do and is it worth it?
What A 14 Year Old Psychopath Looks Like
"Having worked in several federal prisons for 31 years, I used to always tell people that the huge, muscular inmates were rarely the ones one should be afraid of. This young dude is a perfect example of that. Guys like this don't have any interest in a face-to-face fist fight. They are cunning and have no problem coming up behind you and running steel through your neck. Dude's like this are the ones who are really, really dangerous."
https://youtu.be/eEHTB7ZVFm8
10 People Who Like Their Steaks Well-Done Explain WHY
1. First of all, by well done, I mean brown all the way through, which is not the same as completely burned so that the steak resembles a hockey puck in appearance and flavor.
I have had some phenomenal steaks cooked well done at moderate-to-upscale steakhouses, and the outside was barely charred at all.
After trying steaks cooked to a variety of temperatures, I feel that well done is the best according to my tastes. I don’t feel that the flavor is substantially lost by cooking the steak for longer.
Of course each temperature has its own distinct flavor, but I do not feel that a properly prepared well-done steak sacrifices much, if any, flavor.
The same goes for texture, if prepared properly. That said, in general, I prefer my food cooked all the way through.
When I cut into a rare steak and am greeted with a bright-red gush of raw beef and blood-like juice, I completely lose my appetite. Presentation is important when eating such an expensive meal. Finally, a fully cooked steak reduces the probability of picking up a foodborne illness. So it’s a win anyway you cut it (pardon the pun).
2. I like steak, but I don’t get how people enjoy tough and chewy raw steak. It’s just not enjoyable to eat. Well done (or medium well) steaks imho are more flavourful and I like the texture of the meat a lot better, but everyone acts like I’m desecrating the sanctity of the steak when I order well done. Like, it’s just food. Let me eat how I damn well want to eat it.
3. I just prefer the taste of it and don’t like tasting raw parts of half-cooked steak. Steak is a slice of meat. You’re supposed to cook the raw bits of meat. Nobody eats chicken half-raw. So why is it bad to eat steak well-done?
4. I like Well-Done meat myself too. Coworkers always jokingly bashed me for it, so I tried Medium-Well, Medium, and Medium-Rare burgers n steaks. No difference in taste for me, chewiness I could care less about. So I stick with Well-Done.
5. I don’t get it. It’s raw. It goes in mushy and exits mushy.
Humans have discovered fire. We don’t have to eat the animal raw right after a successful hunt. I really view it as uncivilized and animalistic.
I like medium well. Or well done.
The fibers don’t even break down for proper chewing if it’s too raw.
6. Everyone talks about how rare steaks are so “juicy” but I like a hard and smoky taste. It’s what I enjoy. I’m tired of people treating well-done steak eaters like they are doing something wrong. Steak CAN be cooked well done, and it tastes good (to people like me). In fact, I just cant eat rare steaks, I’ve tried. Something about seeing really pink meat is just off putting.
The common argument I hear is, “eating well-done steak is a waste of the meat. It can be eaten that way, yes, but its an inferior way of enjoying it and shouldn’t be done.”
Well, guess what, the world isn’t all about you and how your tastebuds work. When I get a steak, I pay for it with my own money. I enjoy what I eat and think, in my eyes, it is the best way to enjoy steak. So let off this elitism about eating steaks the “right” way.
7. I like the overall bite within a well done steak. A medium rare to me, has a soft texture that feels weird in my mouth that I just can’t bring myself to swallow it. People say well done steaks are rubbery but I’ve have tender and juicy ones.
8. I genuinely prefer the taste of dry meat over moist. I have weird tastebuds though, so I prefer everything savory to be on the Brulee side of things. Meat just doesn’t taste as good to me, if it isn’t slightly burnt.
9. I was a meat cutter for years so I was able to try a wide variety of cuts any way I felt like preparing them.
The thing that put me off rare meat was how much juice flowed out and the seemingly endless squishy chewing required to finish a bite. With a well done (but well cooked) piece it broke down a lot easier and did not fill my mouth up with the extra juice.
I’m pretty sure most of it was psychological because thinking about chewing something rare would make me gag.
What I found is that the same things that made a cut good when medium rare make it good well done – and I could most certainly tell the difference between a well cooked rib steak and a piece of chuck.
I cannot abide by meat nazis. The perfect way to cook meat is the way you, or whomever you’re serving it to, enjoys it
10. Nothing to do with the taste, everything to do with the consistency. I’m from eastern europe, here everything is well done, so when I first came to the US and tried an american steak at a somewhat upscale restaurant, don’t know if it was medium, rare, medium rare, whatever and I couldn’t care less, I thought I was gonna puke across the table. It had the consistency of rubber and phlegm, and then for a week I had the worst indigestion ever. But I didn’t give up, I continued to try american style steaks all with the same result. Even tho the taste was marginally richer than a properly cooked well done steak back home, that phlegm rubber consistency and the red water that dripped out of it put me off for the time being. Might try forcing myself to eat that stuff again next time I visit but the chances are VERY slim I’ll ever end up liking it.
Gravy-Smothered Salisbury Steak
Ingredients
- 1 egg
- 1⁄4 cup milk
- 1⁄4 cup dry breadcrumbs
- 1 (1 1/4 ounce) envelope brown gravy mix, divided
- 1 teaspoon dried onion flakes
- 1⁄2 lb lean ground beef
- 1⁄2 cup water
- 1 tablespoon prepared mustard
Directions
- In a bowl, whisk the egg and milk.
- Add bread crumbs, 1 tablespoon gravy mix and onion.
- Crumble beef over mixture and mix well.
- Shape into two patties, about 3/4 inches thick.
- Broil 3-4 inches from the heat for 6-7 minutes on each side or until meat is no longer pink and a meat thermometer reads 160°.
- Place the remaining gravy mix in a small saucepan; stir in the water and mustard. Bring to a boil; cook and stir until thickened. Serve over patties.
9 Guys Who Were Sexually Assaulted By Women Reveal Their Story
1. When I was a private in the Army, a female friend in my unit became somewhat obsessive over me to the point of being a stalker after I rejected her advances. We had faulty locks on our barracks doors that could be opened with a pair of pliers.
She would casually break into my room and wait for me… so we could “talk about us.” She would normally leave if I told her to, so I didn’t think much of it.
One night I came home drunk, passed out, and woke up in the middle of the night to her giving me a bj. I didn’t even know how she got in my room. When I realized what was happening, she attempted to ride me. I pushed her off and told her to leave.
My roommate, friends, NCOs, etc, everyone just thought it was hilarious. It didn’t really bother me, but I definitely look back and see that it was wrong.
2. Friend’s mother. She was 50something, we were teenagers. She assaulted at least 4 of us. This was the cool house where you could drink, hang out etc.
For my part, she once pointed a rifle, that I assumed was loaded, at me another kid and told us to wash her dishes. Part way through she reached into my pants and started stroking me. Her husband actually walked into the room during this and when I looked to him he said “don’t look at me, she’s got the gun”
I know other friends got a lot worse than I did. She also assaulted the girl who would later be my first adult partner with a vibrator. Her daughter’s bf lived with them for a year and I’m pretty sure he got the worst of it.
When I was in my early 20s she died of a heart attack and that guy brought a 6 pack to my house to tell me. Only time I’ve toasted to someone’s death.
3. Got drunk with some friends and took a couple bars (not an uncommon Saturday night back then). One girl and I stayed up bs’ing in the kitchen. Most folks had passed out and it was a way to keep from disturbing people. The next thing I recall is waking up on the couch with her riding me and biting the hell out of my chest (the bruise lasted about a week and a half). A few other people wake up to the noises, including my girlfriend that I shared the apartment with. The girl riding me stopped to the commotion and left quickly.
I had never blacked out before and wanted to make sure I was okay (drugs are bad, mmm’kay). Toxicology turned up she had slipped some rufies in my drink at some point. Had gf go with me, because she was having a hard time believing the story. (Hot chick riding your bf in the living room while you sleep so you can work in the morning and him not wanting it). Also had them check for any STDs as people started warning us that she may be running green. Came back clean, but that night started my path to stop using drugs.
Talked to a cop friend about the situation and he, low key, advised against trying to press charges since there were drugs and alcohol present and they would have to search the place for evidence and that wouldn’t go too well for me and it would come down to her word against mine. Even with me being rufied, it would be hard to convince a jury, so I let it go.
Went about three years without seeing her anywhere, even though we ran in the same circles. Bumped into her in a grocery store and she immediately started apologizing. I told her it was in the past and I’ve moved on. She wasn’t making a scene and I didn’t really want to make one either. I don’t know that I would have had that restraint had I bumped into her shortly after the incident.
4. Long story short: Late night after the bars in college, I go home and passed out, girl knocks on my door and asks if I’m home, we know her so my roommate says yeah and lets her in. She goes straight to my room where somehow, while I lay lifeless passed out drunk, she gets me hard and starts riding me. My roommate opens my door and flips on the light and asks if she even put a condom on me first, she says no, and he kicks her out. I am informed of all this in the morning. Scary the idea that if the roles were reversed, it’d be a severely different story but I personally didn’t really care nor did anyone else when I told them. Every single response was “that’s awesome easiest lay of your life”
5. I was raped twice by two different girls. The first one was my dad’s girlfriend. I was staying with my dad and his girlfriend when I was around 16 and one weekend he went away for the weekend.
Well the moment he left his girlfriend tells me let’s go. We go to the liquor store and she tells me to pick a bottle. I drank tequila every night with my dad so I thought nothing of it.
I picked a bottle of absolute citreon and a six pack of beer. Well we start taking shots and before you know it the entire bottle is gone. I get and and throw up in the bathroom and stumble back to the couch and pass out.
That’s all I remember…… Until I wake up to her giving me a blowjob. I passed out again and she is riding me.
I couldn’t pass out after that so I pretended to sleep until she was done. The next morning I woke up ran in the shower and when I got out she was telling me about the great life we were gonna have. Well I played it off until my dad got back and told him everything. Shit blew up and I went back home with my mom and buried it in my head for 20 years.
Second time I was drinking with a bunch of friends and a friend who was staying with me was seeing this girl.
Well the girl he was seeing had another girl who was sleeping at her house so I had to drive them all. The whole drive to my house this girl is saying she was gonna fuck me. I sorta laughed and said nahhh I’m good.
You fucking with my other boy and I got a girl. Well she wouldn’t take no for a answer. When we got to my house I told my friend not to leave us alone. As soon as I use the bathroom I get back to my room and this girl is naked in my bed.
I go to leave the room and she runs over and closes the door and litterally pushes me onto a chair. I get a flashback of the first time and I freeze. I let her do her thing and I went to bed.
I never told anyone and my girlfriend at the time ended up being my wife. She put up with my depression for about 15 years before she got tired of it and I finally told her.
It was like a huge wieght off my chest. I still never drink around females unless my wife is around and I have a hard time looking females in the face when I talk to them. It really fucked me up. If I have 1 drop of alcohol my dick is dead to the world. I get such bad anxiety and the occasional flashback.
6. Ended up in my exes room because she said she wanted to talk. She locked to door and told me she wanted to fuck. Told her no repeatedly and she started slapping and kicking me every time I tried to leave.
I told her I was gonna yell for help and she said “who are my roommates gonna believe you or me?”.
So I tried calling my friend to come help me but she took me phone and threw it into her closet, with the same kicking (balls) and slapping me.
I finally relented and let her do whatever she wanted then packed up my things left and completely blocked her off of everything.
7. I got nearly blackout drunk with my roommates and floor mates in first year, the night before our first exam. Went to bed alone, they staid up drinking. Woke up (vague drunken awareness ) to a girl trying to stuff my whiskey dick inside her. Didn’t really know what to do and just sort of drunkenly let her continue. I was extremely confused as this girl was an out lesbian, I had no idea what was going on. Tried to off my self a few days later.
Took a long time to admit to myself that it even happened, maybe it contributed a bit to trying to kill myself? Cuz I was in a miserable terrible black hole for the next months and eventually switched schools. It took a long time to even consciously connect the dots. Never really told anyone cuz I couldn’t really even admit to myself that maybe, that wasn’t a cool thing of her to do.
And if I did tell anyone other than a therapist I have a hard time believing they would be supportive. MY close, lifelong friends already think I’m a wee bit of a slut (some truth), especially because I’m not looking for commitment in any form. So I imagine people would be super dismissive. At the time my roommates sort of tongue in cheek congratulated me, because you know, isn’t that the dream?
“You were drunk in first year and hooked up with a lesbian?! Legendary!”
8. I was raped by my college roomate’s girlfriend. This happened around sophomore year of college. One of my roomates had been dating this girl off an in for about 8 months or so.
She was a tall, athletic, attractive red head. She had that oh so famous red head temper. My roommate was also not the best boyfriend.
They fought a lot in our apartment. Several times, I was forced to physically get between them to prevent an altercation and/or our stuff getting broken. These fights happened at least once a week, and almost every time they drank.
One Friday, she tells me that she wants to set me up with one of her soriorty sisters, so we 4 (roommate, roommate’s gf, gf’s friend, and myself) all go out to the clubs. The night was going surprisingly well.
The friend and I didn’t really connect in a romantic level, but we were all having a good time none the less. At one of the clubs, it’s my turn to buy a round, I’m standing at the bar, trying to tune out the loud music, when I feel an arm reach around from behind me and grab my crotch.
Natural reaction, I turn to see who it was and see my roomates gf standing behind me grinning… I carefully removed her hand, and tried to mentally brush it off as the alcohol getting to her.
Fast forward another two hours and we are in the cab going back to our apartment. Roomate and girlfriend are loudly fighting about something, while the friend and I are sitting in uncomfortable silence.
It is at this point, things get really blurry, it was as if all of the nights alcohol hit me all at once.
I remember us getting back to our apartment parking lot and my roomate and his girlfriend are shouting at each other. I throw the driver a bill and stumble back to our apartment with girlfriends friend in tow, leaving them to fight outside. I don’t know where the friend crashed, I just walked straight in and straight to my bed. I don’t think that I even took my club clothes off.
Don’t know how much time passed, but get the feeling of something wet around my crotch area and on my stomach.
My initial thought, before opening my eyes, was that I pissed myself. Upon opening my eyes, I see my roomates girlfriend on top of me, riding me. I sobered up in that one second and quickly shoved her off of me.
I just remember saying “WTF are you doing?!” and her saying VERY loudly, “Well someone else won’t fuck me!” as if she wanted my roomate to hear. I told her to get out, and she did whilst calling me an asshole.
I lay there for a minute trying to analyze what just happened, when I start to feel sick. Not sure if it was the alcohol or the incident that just occurred, but I ran to the bathroom to puke. I returned to my bed and fell back asleep.
I never brought it up with my roomate or his girlfriend. I dont know if she ever told him. He told me the next day that he was so blasted that he didn’t remember anything after we left the club.
The sorority sister was no where to be found the next morning. Roomate and his girlfriend broke up for good not long after that.
I still see her around town every now and then. We are cordial we speak, but I have never brought up the incident. I’m not even 100% sure if she remembers doing it. To be honest, even I have confused feelings about it to this day.
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What’s It Like To Have Cluster Headaches
Can you describe what the pain feels like?
Firstly, it is one-sided. > 95% of the time for me it is left hand side. Imagine a clamp around your head tightening, but at the same time there is a sharp hot object behind your left eye trying to drill an exit hole through your eye. The clamp continues to tighten – and every time that you bargain with the universe that “OK, thats my limit, stop now pleas” it tightens a little more. You vomit, loss of balance, and sometimes get quite scared for no real reason. You know what is going on (most of the time) but you have a deep feeling of fear. I also taste stone at the top of my head (how weird).
I’ve been run over at an estimated 40 MPH, I’ve broken legs, arms, dislocated knees and nothing comes close to this. It does take you to a new level of pain – and the human body can take more than you can imagine.
Cluster headache are probably the worst pain that humans experience.
How does it compare to getting kicked in the balls?
About the way getting flicked on the arm feels compared to getting a steak knife driven into it.
Do you ever contemplate suicide?
To be brutally honest – yes, at the worst moments, it is an option. Anything to kill the pain. Now that I am on O2 therapy and we are stabilizing the daily attacks, that has helped. Sometimes, when you are in a three day attack with no relief, it does seem like the only route, but most of the time it actually makes you appreciate the good moments more.
Did you say 3 day attacks? Like non-stop? How do you eat / sleep / work?
You learn to adapt – and so do your family. The main clusters are timed: 01:15 and 05:00 are my worst ones – using oxygen and at least one dose of Imigran Injection. The challenge is that you can only use two Imigram per day – so whilst it does abort the attack, it has limited use in any 24 hour period. The pure O2 therapy works very well, and my wife and kids notice the warning signs now before me, so I can now bang on the O2 for half an hour as it come on. Its not the most fun I can imagine, but you learn to cope. I work my own business, so I can program from home when my body allows me to work, and they guys at work are amazing as well.
Having a family and workmates that are understanding is the best thing in the world though. They know that when the beast kicks in, it takes priority over everything – Everything – I mean Christmas, New Years, Birthday, misses then all because of this damn thing, it just takes over when it wants to. But hey, its not terminal, I’m alive, and people have it worse.
How long do the attacks usually last for you?
It can be as short as 1.5 hours if it wants to responds to the oxygen and Zomig – AND if I spot it in time, rising to three hours if it feels like being stubborn or if I didn’t treat it in-time (with headaches for the rest of the day but at least the major attack is over)
Worst case, this can be up to three days if untreated or just because its my turn to get a long one and my body decides fuck you, thats why.
Is oxygen the best way to alleviate the pain?
Yeah, the oxygen is the best thing that Ive tried aside from the Imigran (but that has limited uses in a day -O2 is unlimited and 100% natural). I will normally sit on the oxygen for half an hour and it may abourt, or at least hold it off long enough for something else to take effect (Zomig or zydol depending on severity.)
Are you able to do anything when you have a headache?
No, fraid not. Its complete zombie state. Lying in bed, crying, waiting for the pain to pass, cant cook, hard time walking, dont really feel like eating or drinking. This can lead to problems in the longer ones because you have to keep hydrated, but IF you just dont drink any fluids when you are in one – then this just extends your cluster period!
What’s the most unconventional or weirdest thing you tried to stop the pain?
Weirdest thing was trying to knock myself out – ran head first at walls, blood let, hit my kneecap with a brick to distract the pain – none of it worked!
When did you first start getting the attacks?
About 15 years ago – started off as migraines then (one every three months), but changed forms about 6 years ago and became increasingly regular. The Dr admitted that this was not migraine behaviour, did the usual CAT scans etc, and eventually sent to a Neurologist. Good boy NHS, the Neurologist instantly know what was. The O2 therapy and Imigran cant be cheap, but welcome to the UK -the NHS do not let that cross their mind – once they have you diagnosed, they do everything they can to help.
I don’t remember the first specifically, but I was around 14-15 when they first started, and my reaction was generally to throw up and go sit in the closet in the dark with a blanket over my head because that’s the only thing that felt better.
I also shared a room with my younger brother at the time, who was quite loud and annoying, so I tended to be very violent and throw things at him when I had a headache and he wouldn’t turn down his TV or stop being annoying.
Do you know what causes them?
I have some basic triggers (dehydration, tiredness etc) but not the usual migraine triggers like food, coffee, paint, perfume etc.
What’s the difference between cluster headaches and migraines?
Cluster headaches are generally several orders of magnitude more painful, focused, and come one after another in “clusters” hence the name. They are not triggered by anything we know of, unlike migraines that can be brought on by light, sounds, etc. They can also disappear for months, even years at a time, only to come back nonstop for even weeks without rest.
Have you ever been confronted by someone saying “some event” hurts more. If so how did it go down?
Yeah, I’ve had that. “Just take a few ibuprofen and walk it off, or drink some water” thanks random co-worker, if only I had thought of that sooner.
I know some people are really trying to help, but some people are so bitchy and passremarkable. That soon stops the day you simply collapse in a heap, featal like on the deck, unable to move, ambulance called as you can’t even speak properly (one co-worker later said I sounded possessed!). That tends to let them know what scale of pain we are really talking about. The comments soon stop after that
What medicine do you take for it? Have you tried medical mj?
I don’t take any prescription medication for them currently. I used to have 800mg Ibuprofen, but they stopped working. I had the opportunity to try Vicodin for them, and it did not do anything but make me pee a lot.
Marijuana doesn’t do anything for them either. It does help to distract my thoughts sometimes, but I wouldn’t really consider that a treatment.
Have you ever tried morphine-based drugs to alleviate the pain?
A few of the medications are morphine based – and whilst they lift the smaller attacks, the problem with them is two fold: 1.) Time taken for the body to absorb. They just take too long to get into the system. By the time the pain killing element kicks in, the pain level is beyond medicating. The injection or the O2 is a lot more direct and quicker. 2.) Rebound headaches. Yeah, the human body is a scumbag. It can give you rebound headaches so that it can get more codine or zydol!!
The injections are amazing – BUT worth pointing out that they are not traditional pain killers. if you were in any sort of pain, I could give you this and it would have no effect at all. They work by changing the expansion/contraction of the blood vessels in the brain and perhaps also assist with Serotonin binding – but to be honest, the medical trade know they work but are not 100% sure why!
I hear small doses of Psilocybin have been known to virtually cure cluster headaches. It is also a legal form of treatment.
Ive heard they work, but not tried them yet. I rule out nothing. I would inject heroin directly into my eyeball during an attack if you said that it would help!
Are there any long term side effects? Are these headaches slowly damaging you beyond repair, or is it literally just a shit load of pain and nothing more?
As far as I know, there is no long term damage to the brain – which is so reassuring. At first, you can not believe that you can have this level of pain without some sort of scaring on the brain, but its more down to blood vessels in the brain contracting (or expanding, can never remember which) and causing the most unbelievable pain. I am so grateful that there is no long term damage though….
Is there any illness/disease you would NOT prefer to have?
Yeah, despite the pain and general cr-pness of this condition, lets face it – people have worse. its not terminal for a start. But if we are thinking non-terminal, my sister in law has MS and that scares me. Also Alzheimer’s sounds really scary, as does Parkinsons. I think they scare me worse than what i have.
It disheartens me to read the tales of those men who have been raped by women. They could not process the trauma properly and felt great guilt and shame because of the fact that they were victims of a crime usually perpetrated by men. Even more abhorrent was the fact that the people these men had the bravery to share their story with found it hilarious or ridiculous.
The double standards are disgusting yet typical. Invalidating and denigrating these men’s experiences will lead to serious depression and psychosis over time, and these victims cannot exactly confront their female rapists, either: it would both be too embarrassing to admit something so emasculating and they could easily spin up a lie in court if any of them press charges.
The courts will dismiss their cases unless there’s serious proof and the man pays serious amounts of money in lawyer fees.
Did you know that I had an ulcer in my duodenum rip open years ago? The pain I experienced was the worst I ever had in my life: my organs slowly being digested by my leaking stomach acid was so intense that I felt I was going to leave my body at any moment, and yet I pulled through after getting the strength to walk out of my house and into the hospital.
But what happened after he died? That also feels familiar to me, the part where he is led astray by shadowy spooks that threaten and berate him. It’s not unlike the schizophrenic hallucinations I experience all the time, where all of these voices and people spew venomous things at me all the time, and I have to spout equally toxic things to fend myself from them. At least now, thanks to my Affirmations, I do get lapses in this barrage so I can regain peace of mind and reorient to my life, here.
I won’t be calling out to Jesus when it’s my turn. I will be seeking Domain.
You know MM, I read all your postings… ALL of them.
Maybe I am different than most, I presume so, and I do realize that many, many of the victims within your victim postings have different circumstances than I do, but I tell you, I simply have walked away – figuratively and literally. Fuck those assholes – including my “parents”.
Good to hear from you, DSK.