Life changes.
I have said this many times before. But I want to underline some things today.
When I was a senior in High School, I proudly wore a choker collar, puffy sleeved polyester printed shirts with a wide collar, and elephant bell-bottom jeans. Oh, and I also wore earth shoes, and rock-star boots. I was so fashionable!
I also drove a orange “goat” GTO.
And that was my life then.
Today, I am really different, as is my life.
Life changes. You will change.
ADVICE…
Embrace your moments. Savor your experiences. Remember that they will wane over time. So please treasure them.
Today…
For anyone who was bullied in school, what was the worst act of bullying you had to endure?
When I was a teenager I was bullied by a local group of kids, all of them a few years older than me. Two of them were particularly vile. I am changing the names. One was Patrick and the other was Gavin. Patrick was a horrible weasel who basically incited the others to beat the crap out of me, and rarely got his own hands dirty. Gavin was a sociopath who rarely showed any emotion whatsoever. One particular time me and friends were playing near a train track (as kids did in the 90s), and I heard Patrick’s voice saying “Hey Gavin there he is he wants to fight you.” Sure enough along walks Gavin and grabs me and says “I hear you want to fight me….” I assured him this wasn’t the case, but he proceeded to knock the shit out of me. And I don’t just mean a few punches in the ribs. He pummelled my face multiple times. I am pretty sure I had concussion. Anyway, halfway through the beating I hear the unmistakeable sound of a train coming. Gavin hears it too. “Come on, we’re both going to die.” and he begins dragging me onto the tracks. And he was correct, in that we both would have been killed. He clearly didn’t care. The only thing that saved me was that I was able to grab hold of a length of builder’s wire that was half buried in the ground, and must have been attached to a lump of buried concrete because miraculously it held firm. Gavin was straining with every ounce of his strength to drag me and him into the path of the train. I vividly remember the train zooming past and I looked at Gavin, his teeth bared in anger as he tried to dislodge me. I remember giggling because Gavin was closer to the train than me. If my t shirt had torn, or if the wire had come loose, then Gavin would surely have fallen under the train first. Gavin eventually tired of beating me after the train was gone and I stumbled home, sore, ashamed and shaken. My face was so badly battered that when I told my father that I had fallen off some scaffolding while playing at a building site, he believed me. Both my eyes were so badly bloodshot that my eyeball went red. I had black eyes and bruises all across my face and neck and ribs. The bullying wasn’t a once off, but that was one of the worst instances of it for me.
Polish Cinnamon Cake
Ingredients
- 12 tablespoons butter
- 1 cup granulated sugar
- 1 egg
- 3 teaspoons cinnamon
- A grating of fresh nutmeg
- 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
- 1 1/2 cups whipping cream
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
Instructions
- Beat the butter until it is soft and fluffy. Add 3/4 cup of the sugar and the egg and continue beating. Add 2 teaspoons of the cinnamon, the nutmeg and flour, and beat until well mixed.
- Spread about 1/3 of the batter on an ungreased baking sheet, forming a rectangle about 10 x 12 inches and bake in a preheated 400 degrees F oven for 8 minutes, until lightly browned.
- Remove from the oven and allow to cool.
- Repeat two more times with the remaining batter.
- Whip the cream until stiff, and fold in the remaining 1/4 cup sugar, the remaining 1 teaspoon cinnamon and the vanilla extract. Spread a thin layer of whipped cream on one of the cakes, top with another cake, and repeat.
- Spread remaining whipped cream on the top and serve immediately.
Serves 8 to 12
Cheating caught
What’s the fastest you’ve wiped a smirk off of someone’s face?
We lived in Base Housing, kids all over the place, filling the sandbox, fighting, arguing, being nice, being nasty. My four-year-old was a little redhead like his mommy and, like his mommy, often in trouble. Or, if not in trouble, causing it.
One day, another mommy, who was often irate because someone had wronged her little golden-curled darling who had the demeanor of an angel and the personality of a wasp, came to me with her howling little guy. His tears looked genuine. So did her anger.
“Your child needs to be controlled,” she said, “he bit Tony. Look!” She dragged Tony’s plump little arm out to show me four perfect tooth marks.
I said, “Are you sure it was Brian?”
She snarled, “Of course I’m sure. I saw him do it. He sank his teeth right into Tony’s arm.”
I said, “Bri, did you bite Tony?” He shook his head.
Mama Bear, filled with righteous fury, shrieked that he was a liar and my husband would be hearing from the CO if we didn’t teach our child civilized manners.
I just said, “Brian, smile at the lady.” Because he was an obliging child who genuinely liked people, he willing smiled at the lady—with his three front teeth, two on the bottom, one on the top, gleaming in the sunshine. His left top incisor had been knocked out when he was acting the fool in the bathtub about six months before. She didn’t even apologize to him, just stomped off, dragging poor, injured little Tony behind her like a pull toy.
Simply Cannot
What is a dirty little (or big) secret about an industry that you have worked in, that people outside the industry really ought to know?
We know all your passwords.
Shocked?
Well, you shouldn’t be. At least not yet. Let me tell you the whole truth first. Because once I do that, you aren’t going to be just shocked. You would be horrified, outraged, possibly traumatized for life.
I’ve been working in the tech world for quite a while now, and the wealth of “insider secrets” that I’ve accumulated along the way would be sufficient to fill a book in itself. But nothing comes close to this one single revelation, that I can positively say, has destroyed my faith in humanity. Once you finish this answer, you are not going to be the same person anymore, that much I can promise.
Let me ask you a very simple question –
How do you think the login process works?
Let’s say you want to open your Facebook.
You go to the login page.
You enter your username.
You then enter your password, which appears in all asterisks to prevent any unwanted ‘shoulder-surfing’. That’s crude. But effective too. And necessary. You see, the First Law of Passwords (okay, I just made up that phrase) states that there should be only one entity in the entire universe that should have access to your password – your brain. If a second copy of your password exists somewhere – say, on a piece of paper where you casually wrote it down thinking it’ll help you remember later, or in the password box where you just entered it, or engraved on a rock on planet Jupiter; somebody might be able to access it (theoretically speaking) and your security would be completely compromised. So, only one copy. Ever. Remember that.
Now, you press the Submit button.
But Abhimanyu, wait a minute! After I just pressed the Submit button, I got logged in. This means that some system on the other side must have verified that what I entered was indeed my password. But then, this system must have access to my correct password too! Otherwise, what will it compare my input with? Facebook must keep a second copy of my password somewhere!!!
The host website needs a copy of the password!
You are right. That’s a problem indeed. You might think that this is kind of okay since this second copy would exist with Facebook, which is the website that hosts your account in the first place. They would keep it safe, wouldn’t they?
But think about it.
Facebook, as an organization, is made up of humans just like you and me. What if some employee at Facebook has access to this code and could see your password? What if this was your bank account instead. What if Facebook was hacked and the hacker could see this code that has your password in it. Imagine the havoc this person might cause.
So a second copy is never okay, even if it exists on the parent website itself!
But then how would the website log you in? If it does not know your correct password, what will it compare your input to? How will it verify that you’re you?
That’s precisely the problem our engineering godfathers faced when they set out to design the entire system of passwords. And these guys were smart! They come up with an ingenious idea that would beautifully solve the problem.
The idea of Hash Functions.
The concept is extremely simple. A hash function is just a mathematical function. You input any word into it and it generates an output that looks like complete garbage.
But the devil, as they say, lies in the details –
- The same word would always give rise to the same garbage.
- Two different words would (almost) always lead to two completely different garbages.
- There’s no way to look at the garbage and tell what the original word was. And just to be clear, this is not for the lack of trying. No. This is a fundamental mathematically restriction on the nature of hash functions. They are not invertible. They work one-way only. There’s no way to reverse engineer the garbage and get a peek at the word that produced it. Not even when you know the exact hash function.
Fun fact – This garbage is called the ‘hash’ of the input word.
Here’s how Hashes are used in login systems –
When you first create your account, you choose a password. This password is never stored by the website as it is. Rather, the website first hashes your password and then stores this hash in its database.
Now, when you try to log in the next time, the input you enter in your password box is first hashed, and then sent to the website. If your entered password is the correct one, this incoming hash would be the same as the hash the website had earlier stored in its database. That’s because the same word always gives the same hash (Rule 1 above). On the other hand, if you entered something different, the incoming hash would be different from the one that the website has got stored in its database next to your name (Rule 2 above).
The website compares the two, and if they match, bingo! You are logged in.
Now even if someone hacked into Facebook and copied the entire database, all they would see are these garbage hashes stored next to the usernames. They wouldn’t be able to deduce the original password from these hashes (Rule 3 above).
What if they tried to copy your hash from the database, open Facebook login page in their browser, and then enter the copied hash in the password field as it is (along with your username in the username field)?
Since Facebook’s login flow always hashes the incoming input, it would hash this hash too, and that would produce something completely different. On matching that with what is stored in the database, a big fat fuck-you would be returned.
So even when the hacker has got the entire user table, he still can’t do any damage!
Beautiful concept, isn’t it?
Except that it’s a complete pain in the ass for companies to implement and manage.
For starters, you have to integrate the hashing mechanism in your login flow which leads to considerable overhead. Actually, with modern libraries and frameworks, this part is no longer that big of a deal. The real pain lies in providing technical support to the customers.
Let’s say you are Flipkart.
A customer calls in to complain that he is unable to add a certain item to his cart.
The customer’s issue is escalated to the development team, where you, the poor developer, just happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time and lo and behold! The issue gets assigned to you.
All you know is that there’s a certain customer with this particular customer id and he’s unable to add an item to his cart.
That’s it.
That’s all you know.
Remember, the user can see the issue happening on his device in real time, but you can’t. You don’t have access to his account.
So, you send a request to the server team to access the error logs from the server, all the while praying to God that you find something useful in those logs – something that will nudge you in the right direction. But you have to be extremely lucky to find something helpful. More often than not, the issue would turn out to be a ghost issue that occurred because the user was doing something stupid, and you would spend an entire night on a wild goose-chase.
If you do manage to learn something helpful from the logs, you would then have to create a test account and try to replicate the issue there, which is just the beginning of the long and tedious process we call bug-hunting.
Either way, it’s going to be a long night.
But what if, let’s say, you did have access to user’s password? (Imagine a red devil sitting on your shoulder whispering this entire paragraph in your ear). You could simply log into his account and check if it’s a ghost issue. You’d be done in like five minutes. Even if it turns out to be a legitimate issue, you can trigger it again from the user’s account itself, and get a much quicker lead on the location of the bug!
The convenience is just too much to ignore!
You begin to get lusty.
Your mouth begins to drool.
And you give in.
Most of the companies in the IT industry that are customer-facing, store your passwords in their database in clear text. Without hashing!
Most of the clients that I’ve worked with as a penetration-tester, most of the companies I’ve done projects for, most of the websites I’ve hacked – all were storing passwords in stark naked clear-text. Plain as the day. Sitting right there for any employee or hacker to see.
I have seen database tables – with rows upon rows of clear text passwords – hundreds of thousands of them – all visible to the naked eye – ripe, juicy, ready to be exploited – their owners completely unaware, utterly naive, sleeping peacefully in their beds without a care in the world.
Now in all fairness, I must admit here that I’m sure none of the top-tier websites are doing this stupidity. Google isn’t doing it. Facebook isn’t doing it. Flipkart isn’t doing it. Your bank, definitely not.
But tier-two and three websites? They are. Startups? You bet your ass they are.
But that’s not all –
Most people, in an act of supreme foolishness, set the same password for all their accounts.
Which means that every employee at http://somerandomwebsitewhereyouoncemadeanaccountandthenforgotaboutit.com
knows your Gmail password.
Because let’s face it, they’re the same. Aren’t they?
All I have to do is hack this le random website, which is going to be a piece of cake. Sites like these are not big on security. As soon as I get into their database, I’ll have access to thousands of email id and password pairs, most of which will work verbatim on Gmail.
If you’re extremely unlucky, they’ll work on Paytm too.
And if with some cruel and twisted idea of fun in mind, your fate decided to truly fuck you over, they would work on your Bank’s website too !
So scary
Has anyone ever bought a car with the wrong engine in it?
Not me but my father in law. In 1957 he got out of the Army and first thing he did was buy a new Plymouth Fury. Not being a car guy he just picked the first one on the lot and drove it home. He had moved back in with his parents and his dad still had a curfue for him. One night he was going to be late so he opened it up to get home faster. He soon saw flashing lights in his rear view mirror but soon lost them and made it home in time. A few minutes after he got home a police car pulled up in the yard. Small town and the cop had recognized his car. Instead of getting arrested the cop told him to be at the start of Nine Mile Road at 9:00 the next night. This road had a long straight part through a swamp with no side roads. So he shows up and county police have set up a drag race. They had stopped traffic at both ends of the straight and the cop with the fastest cruiser lined up beside him. They had new Plymouth Furys with the police engine option. They take off and are neck and neck until the police car tops out and my father in law’s car keeps pulling away. He was fully stopped and out of his car at the other end before the cop car got there.
The cop comes up and ask him what modifications he has made to the car. He tells them he hasn’t even opened the hood since he bought it. They then open the hood and instead of the standard 301 Plymouth engine it had a 392 Chrysler Hemi.
Red Flag
When did you realize your parent was a total badass?
One day my Mom asked me where to go to replace a broken window on her car. When I asked what happened to the window, she said someone threw a brick through it. She was driving through an area with a lot of gangs and saw 2 guys chasing 1 guy. She didn’t like the odds, so pulled her car onto the sidewalk between the guy being chased and the guys doing the chasing. That gave the guy being chased enough of a lead that he got away. The guys who were chasing him weren’t happy about being stopped. They threw anything they could grab at Mom’s car, and a brick went through a window as she drove off. And that’s how Mom got a broken window on her car.
My Dad was also a badass, but in different ways. He was a veteran, but never told us about his military service until he was dying of cancer. He couldn’t see or hear anymore, but he could talk. He told us “funny stories” that were just plain crazy.
Assassination
What are some things that kids have said that caught you off guard? Funny, sad, confusing, inspirational, creepy?
Elleigh was a mouthy Little darling from ages 4-10. She just said anything that came to her mind, and sometimes, those things were hilarious. Elleigh once said:
“What’s up boys, take me out to dinner.”
I’m “unstopaddle.”
“You’re old!”
“Daddy looks like Mr. Clean.”
“Me: What’s your dad’s name? (Elleigh: Tyrell)”
*Doing her hair* “Oh, but I’ll look like a jerry.”
“Why was I in your tummy and Leo was in your gyna?” (She was delivered by a c-section, Leo was natural).
“Thong Thong Thong up your heiny.”
“I just had to itch my butt.”
“Ok boss!”
Me: Alright, let’s call… (Elleigh: Punk!)”
“Mommy, you don’t run, you gallop.”
“You did not do sports today because I was with you all day. Ooo, it’s just a joke.”
“I’m constipation” (we were doing affirmations).
“Stop annoying me. Excuse me, you’re not supposed to be talking to me, you’re a stranger.”
Me: You’re going to school. (Elleigh: Yeah, why?) Me: Because that’s what you do every morning. (Elleigh: Are you going to the gym every morning?”
“This dang deer.”
“This is not her real hair, her just put extensions in it. long extensions.”
Me: What’s your favorite kind of food? (Elleigh: Fruit). Me: What kind of fruit? (Elleigh: Fruit loops).
When she was really little, she would call a computer a “cubidiger.”
She would say “feel good” as “fuck you” (really threw people off sometimes).
I don’t know why I have so many footages of her saying these kinds of things.
Absolutely correct
If you were an employee, and your boss suddenly fired you without an explanation, how would you respond?
I had been there three years. Since I disliked the job and had strange vibes for the last 3 months, when I was told I shrugged and said “If that’s the way you feel.” They wanted me to sign a release. I was 61–1/2, Social Security at reduced benefits wouldn’t start until I was 63. I said I wanted my attorney to look at it before I signed, picked up the paper and walked to my office where I packed up my stuff. I kept nothing personal there except safety shoes for walking on the manufacturing floor (I got laughed at a lot because nobody wore safety shoes even though they’re required at most manufacturing facilities), my prescription safety glasses , a sweater, my favorite (and personally purchased) mechanical pencils and left.
My attorney said to sign the release after he crossed out two clauses noting the employment statues they were violating, and faxed it to them. I got a nice settlement and was able to collect unemployment for the 18 months until my 63rd birthday. This was in 2008/2009 when we had up to 100 weeks of unemployment due to recession.
Before anybody calls me a piker for collecting all that UI, I was offered two positions during that time. Each would have required a 100 mile round trip commute daily and only paid about 75% of what I had been making. The Unemployment Service said I was not under an obligation to accept either.
Have you ever met a dangerous person and not known it at the time?
I used to own a small tavern. We had a guy who started hanging out there quite regularly. Nice guy, played darts with the other regulars, bought rounds in order , but didn’t talk much about himself or his past. But it’s a bar, so no one cares. We’ll call him Danny.
He was in early one night around 7pm. My staff is all away on lunch, partner wouldn’t be back til 10pm. I’m all alone. Usually not a big deal. This night, a couple of college jocks got way out of hand and started tearing the place up – breaking cue sticks and tossing around empty kegs. It’s just Danny, me and the college boys. I’m trying to de-escalate and get them to leave. Then, one of the big guys starts pushing me and throwing punches. I’m screwed. That is, until Danny steps in and beats the shit out of two guys much bigger than himself. I was completely shocked! We toss the guys out and he tells me not to call the police. He leaves shortly afterwards.
Next time I see Danny, I want to pick up his tab and chat. He asks me not to tell anyone or talk about it. I figure he’s ex-military and a private guy. He becomes pretty scarce. We’re looking for him, but he doesn’t come around anymore.
About a year later, we see his pic in the paper. He’s on trial for a pair of mob related murders. Turns out he might be responsible for more than a couple of these. I’m very glad he liked me.
4
Which sentences have made you think the most in your life?
There was a time while I was in college that I could only afford to spend about $3 per day on food. Needless to say it wasn’t an easy time.
One day, I spent part of my daily ration on a granola bar. As I walked out of the grocery store, a homeless woman asked me if I had any spare change. I told her I didn’t have any money to spare so instead split my granola bar with her and sat down to have a chat. She continued to ask people for change as we talked. After observing the responses, I asked her: “Would you rather people ignore your question, or say ‘no’ as meanly and rudely as they possibly could?”
She responded without hesitation: “I’d rather have the mean ‘no.’ At least they’re treating me like I’m a person, more than a piece of trash lying on the street.”
I’ll never forget that. I wouldn’t have been able to rationalize it myself, but it makes perfect sense. Her name was Anne.
As a pilot, what is some good advice you’ve been given?
When I was a much younger airline copilot, I flew with this Syrian captain. He was a Muslim and had flown F-4s for the U.S. Navy. He was a nice guy but kind of kept to himself mostly. I would always ask about the religion and how it was living in Syria and he gradually warmed up to me.
One day I was complaining about a relationship with a woman and he turned to me and said:
“Randy, I am going to give you two words that will ensure that you will have a long and prosperous marriage. It will end your problems in this relationship and any in the future. It is very old Islamic advice that has stood for centuries, long before the great advances in mathematics. It is among the oldest of all Middle Eastern knowledge”
“If you follow these two words. You will increase your happiness by a factor of 1000. Your wife will adore you and you will live in peace and harmony until you finally die and she mourns your death forever.”
“These two words? Obey and Relax”
“Randy, simply follow these two words in all of your interactions. Obey her demands and then simply relax. The West has not yet discovered this fundamental truth. If you just obey and relax, you will always be happy.”
Edit 1:
This guy was funny.
One day we were talking about his home life and he said: “Randy, Allah came to me before I was born and he told me I was a very bad man. He said I must be punished so he gave me a choice. I could live for ten-thousand years in hell or I could marry this woman. Like a fool, I marry woman!
I guess he didn’t follow his own advice. I heard he finally divorced. Even with this outcome, I still try to follow his advice and it works pretty well.
Did you ever have a restaurant meal “on the house”? What was the reason?
My wife and I moved from the San Francisco Bay Area to a small town in the foothills of the Sierra Nevadas three years ago. For anyone wondering, our new town is Grass Valley, pop. 13,000.
Coming from the dining heaven that is the San Francisco area, we set out to find some special occasion restaurants nearby. We were not disappointed.
Our favorite go-to fancy place is called Lola’s, in neighboring Nevada City. It’s comparatively pricy—$250 is the typical check, including tip, for the two of us. It’s located in the Gold Rush-era National Hotel.
We went recently for an anniversary. It was a Wednesday evening and the restaurant was not particularly busy, although there was some kind of event beginning to happen in the attached lounge.
We waited for an unusually long time, but we had no place to be, and we enjoy each other’s company. The server finally came to our table, apologizing, and took our drink order. After about ten minutes, she came by and told us our drinks would be out any minute.
We got our appetizers and waited a long time again for the entrees. The server apologized again and said our drinks would be on the house. We had not complained or looked dissatisfied, but it was a nice gesture on the restaurant’s part. We ordered a second round of cocktails.
The activity in the lounge explained the delays: they had a combination burlesque show and lottery going on. Everyone was having a boisterous good time. Evidently, they swamped the bar and the kitchen.
When our entrees arrived after another unusually long wait, the server apologized again and told us our entire meal and drinks were being comped because of the slow service. We were flabbergasted but happy to have a $200 meal comped. This was all the restaurant’s initiative; we did not complain or even look dissatisfied.
We ordered desserts, one of the many things this restaurant does extremely well. The total bill came to $26.00 for the desserts. The total bill would have been $250.
We tipped 20% of the whole amount. Our server was attentive and even embarrassed at the long delay. We would have been perfectly happy even if we’d paid the whole bill.
That’s the first time I’ve ever had an entire satisfactory meal comped. But it was a good illustration of this restaurant’s commitment to excellence in food quality and service.
What psychological trick changed your life?
Here are 12 tricks I learned from the book ‘12 rules for life an antidote to chaos’, written by psychologist Jodan B Peterson. These life rules really help me a lot:
1: Stand Up Straight With Your Shoulders Back
If you present yourself as defeated, then people will react to you as if you are losing. If you start to straighten up, then people will look at and treat you differently.
So, attend carefully to your posture. Quit drooping and hunching around. Speak your mind. Put your desires forward, as if you had a right to them — at least the same right as others. Walk tall and gaze forthrightly ahead. Dare to be dangerous. Encourage the serotonin to flow plentifully through the neural pathways desperate for its calming influence.
2: Treat Yourself Like Someone You Are Responsible for Helping
We deserve some respect. You deserve some respect. You are important to other people, as much as to yourself. You have some vital role to play in the unfolding destiny of the world. You are, therefore, morally obliged to take care of yourself. You should take care of, help and be good to yourself the same way you would take care of, help and be good to someone you loved and valued.
3: Make Friends with People Who Want the Best For You
This is similar to the idea that you become the average of the five people you spend the most time with.
Don’t think that it is easier to surround yourself with good healthy people than with bad unhealthy people. It’s not. A good, healthy person is an ideal. It requires strength and daring to stand up near such a person. Have some humility. Have some courage. Use your judgment, and protect yourself from too-uncritical compassion and pity.
4: Compare Yourself to Who You Were Yesterday, Not Who Someone Else is Today
We only see what we aim at. The rest of the world (and that’s most of it) is hidden. If we start aiming at something different — something like I want my life to be better” — our minds will start presenting us with new information, derived from the previously hidden world, to aid us in that pursuit.
Then we can put that information to use and move, and act, and observe, and improve. And, after doing so, after improving, we might pursue something different, or higher — something like, I want whatever might be better than just my life being better.” And then we enter a more elevated and more complete reality.
“What could I do, that I would do, to make Life a little better?”
The content is too long, so I put the rest rules here
JEFFREY SACHS HONEST INTERVIEW ABOUT NATO ARROGANCE ON RUSSIA, SUPERPOWER WAR IN UKRAINE, CHINA RISE
What was the shortest interview you’ve had that led to a job offer?
I was selling cars and my friends mother said I should have a job that pays a salary and commission and not just straight commission. She suggested a software company and the one she worked at had a position available. I had no background in software or computers at all but I sent in a CV and called the Sales Manager and left a message. Then I would keep calling all day seeing if he would pick up the phone. Around 12 additional times.
On the 3rd he picked up and said NOBODY has ever called him so much in his entire life. I asked if he looked at my CV and he said yes, but there was no experience in computers and software. He even asked some basic questions which I failed miserably.
He finally said that I was obviously persistent and if I read some books about computing I could probably get a job in this industry. I asked which books and he suggested two. I told him I would read both, memorize them and call him back in 2 weeks where he could quiz me about anything. He was incredulous and said ya sure.
Well I bought those books that day and in 2 weeks had them memorized, with yellow highlighter throughout both of them. I could tell you what chapter something was in and the next point the author made. That’s how well I learned them.
2 weeks to the day I called and he picked up on the first 2 rings. I was very nervous and told him I had those books down cold and he could quiz me about anything.
He said to come in on Monday at 9 am. I said how long would the quiz take and he said, “There isn’t a quiz. You start your new job on Monday at 9 am”
I am happy to say I stayed in the computer software industry for 20 years.
Crazy
What should you never say to a British person?
I was on a plane once, flying across the US. The guy next to me (in the middle seat) just kept talking nonstop. Eventually the person in the window seat said something back to him. This set the guy off, he told him everything he knew about Australia, what a great country it was, how much he liked Australians. Then he asked what part of Australia the guy was from. He replied that he was from Wales.
Middle seat guy said he loved New South Wales. The Sydney opera house was his favorite piece of architecture in the world.
Window seat guy, replies, No, I am Welsh, from the British Isles.
Middle seat guy, just wouldn’t let it go. He wanted to know why someone from the UK spoke with an Australian accent. Eventually window seat guy lost his patience, and pointedly pulled out a book and started to read.
So, I would say you don’t ask someone from Wales, why they speak with an Australian accent.
Daddy Advice to a daughter
What’s the best mistake you’ve ever made?
I was recently divorced and working for a company that had just opened a branch in Germany. My boss told me four interns were coming from Germany. “You’re a supervisor,” he said. “This is a very big deal, so make sure they are comfortable and happy here.”
But there was a problem. We had three shifts, and I was on the second shift—by which time my boss was long gone for the day, so he couldn’t introduce me in person. When I got to work I found only a list of four first names and the desks they were sitting at. And then when I got to that part of the office, there were only three guys.
I went over and talked to them for a bit, tried to make them feel welcome, made sure they had everything they needed. I was hoping one of them would mention the fourth fellow, but nobody did. I figured he’d be sitting somewhere else, so I excused myself and went to look around.
Then I heard a guy speaking German. Bingo, I thought. I sneaked a look at the name on his desk: Arnold, same first name as the missing fourth fellow, and a German last name. This was him! He turned out to be much nicer than the other three and we had quite a good talk. His English was excellent.
In the following weeks I saw Arnold often and talked to him for a little while each time. The other three were polite, but distant. So when a fax came in written in German, I knew which one to take it to for translation.
When I handed him the fax, he looked at it for a long time. “I’m sorry,” he said. “My German isn’t really good enough to read this.”
And so it turned out that this Arnold wasn’t the fourth German at all—that particular Arnold, the intern my boss was so concerned about, had been out getting a sandwich the afternoon I came to meet them. Then he’d gone home to Germany a week or two later for some unrelated reason.
The Arnold I’d made friends with was an American with a German father—who had taught him just enough to get by in conversation. They’d spent plenty of time in Germany—so when I’d asked him questions about what it was like there, he knew all the answers. And living with his dad had given Arnold just a trace of German accent in his English.
That was 20 years ago. Arnold and I are still having good talks daily—in spite of being married.
And Then…
In the military, are you only allowed to keep on you what is issued to you by the government or can you buy extra protection if you want to? (knives, extra guns, extra supplies, etc), also, is your weapons and gear all new when you get them?
In the Army I served, simply asking that question would disqualify you from service.
They don’t want gun nuts. They want you to have the weapon issued, nothing else; unauthorised weapons on military grounds is a lengthy prison sentence, if you survive. The guards are armed, you know, and authorised to fire when they identify a threat. An unauthorised firearm is a threat.
They want you to fire your weapon when ordered to do so, and only when ordered to do so. Unless given that order, you don’t even have access to your weapon.
A pen knife, possibly. Extra supplies – food, yes. Nothing else. Protective gear – buster, you dress in the uniform issued, nothing else is allowed to be visible (so you’re allowed your own underwear). Ammunition – see above re. “identify a threat”.
The military take weapons seriously. It’s dangerous stuff, and they don’t want them fired except under strictly controlled circumstances.
And during my year in the Army, I did, in fact, not even once see an armed officer. Unless you count the Captain’s ceremonial sabre, which he dismissed, along with his entire parade uniform, as a “bloody spectacle”.
Legit
Why do some rich people act like they’re poor?
I have a friend that makes $200,000,000 annually. He lives in a $3,000,000 house that he probably paid $1,200,000 for. He drives a five year old Toyota. (He owns and runs a fund…was voted the best in the world at his profession not too long ago)
I have a friend that lives in a $4,000,000 condo downtown. He flies in his $17,000,000 jet and drives a $2,000 old pickup truck to his $60,000,000 ranch. (He sold his business to a bank/insurance company for huge money and has grown his wealth rapidly since the sale)
I know of another extremely wealthy family that when we took our kids to get treats after an event, their kids would ask for toppings on their ice cream. The mom kindly told her children, “no, we don’t spurge like that”. I thought, “what?” You own the entire mall that we are eating ice cream in. (He owns malls and resorts globally)
I don’t know of any that live like they are poor, they just live well within their means. They have different financial priorities than many people.
Organism 46B
Check this one out…
How can I find out who’s stealing my lunch from the office fridge?
I hope you like really hot, spicy food. Pack up some tasty leftover meat, veggies and rice or potatoes in a take- out tub – then add a full quarter cup of Tabasco, Psycho Bitch or Dave’s Killer hot sauce to it. People usually have a pretty good idea of who is stealing their lunches so, when the suspect heads for the lunchroom, follow them, hang around nearby and wait for the fun to begin. (Hot sauce is food, so you can’t be accused of trying to poison your co-worker.)
Use the system
What happened that made you walk out of the courtroom and think, “That did not just happen”?
I was being tried on a driving charge (i.e.. “recklessly causing an accident”).
Where I live, people being tried for “minor” offences will be assigned a common courtroom (i.e., Courtroom 335 12PM July 5, 1923).
I was in my courtroom waiting for my trial to begin when I was approached by an officer and asked to leave the courtroom.
In the hallway, I was told to go to another courtroom (no explanation).
The other courtroom was practically empty. A judge sat on the bench, one suit was standing behind the crown’s desk and one suit was standing behind the defense’s desk. Court reporters were present.
I was urged to stand at the defense’s desk and, at that point, I accepted the suit standing at the defense’s desk as my legal representative.
When I got to the desk, there was a short conversation between the judge and the suits. It took about a minute (maybe less).
And then I was told that I was “Free to go”.
And everybody just left the courtroom.
PS: The “accident” was, I think, a fraud. By the time I got to trial, nobody cared (and not even the police showed up to swear evidence … nobody in that courtroom was involved, in any way, with the case).
Non-verbal
I was fired 3 days ago out of nowhere after 5 years. Now, the CEO emails me that my job has been “re-instated”, but when I come back, I will get a warning for “low performance”. What can I do?
I was “constructively dismissed” by a new owner. I was offering my opinion as a good manager should and was told “shut up, sit down and do what I say; or leave”. To everyone else’s dismay, I left; I was off the property less than an hour later.
About two weeks later, I received a call from the controller desparately asking me for the admin passwords for the company’s mainframe (I was the one and only “unofficial” IT administrator for about three years) as it had crashed. I told him I couldn’t help him as my current employment contract prohibits me from directly assisting them (within 1/2 hour of driving off the lot and calling my wife to tell her I had left, I had already received calls from three competitors offering me a job. I had accepted an offer with their biggest rival); but that he could try contacting my current employer to “purchase” my services (there was no such condition, but I reported the contact to my current employer who was ecstatically happy to play along). They did, and was charged $5,000 for my single visit of less than an hour; to type in the master password and let them change it (1/2 of that fee was paid to me as a bonus).
I later found out that my former employer also had to pay over $20,000 in OT to recover the system, as there was no current tape backup. At the time, I was also the only one that was responsible for managing the daily tape backups; specifically inserting a new tape cartridge every morning. There were two daytime receptionists that I had trained to cover for me on my days off and when I went on vacation, but the full-time one was let go only a few days prior to me leaving, and the part-time one had quit in protest of being asked to work 7 days a week until a new full-time one was hired and trained. They had to manually re-enter two weeks of parts invoices and service work orders, while at the same time work off manual invoices and work orders until the system was caught up.
That owner didn’t last long; three years after I left, the franchise agreement was yanked by the manufacturer and the dealership closed permanently.
Karma.
Approach anxiety
What are your tricks to start a conversation with a stranger?
Are you sure you’re ready for my answer?
Because talking to a stranger is actually easier than you think it is.
- Commit to the five seconds rule – my personal ace in the hole. I approached 100 women in 40 days with this trick. All it involves is that you make a decision on the first five seconds of seeing the stranger whether you are approaching or not. At first, I kept saying no, not yet, next time and then one day I just said fuck it! I’m doing this and I did. Don’t ask me how it turned out.
- Use the universal opener and stop thinking – yes our mind is the great storyteller and a perfectionist one at that. If you give yourself too much time to think, you will end up not approaching the stranger so do what I did. Use the universal opener. It’s something called Hello. I think you’ve heard about it.
- Avoid the alpha male trap – I know some people will tell you dress up, look cool, beef up and hold a wine glass standing by the corner, that advice is the worse shit in the world. It’s what I call the alpha male trap, feeling so confident in yourself that you don’t wanna talk with anyone and you expect them to feel your vibe and gravitate towards you. Avoid practicing this, calm down! Relax and smile when you are out there.
- Open up! – still on the same point. Avoid closing up your body language by holding something in front of you such as your phone or glass bottle. Make sure in social settings, your body is open and you appear calm and relaxed. Please don’t ever approach anyone with the wrong body language. Research shows we process body language faster than sounds(as little as 0.2sec).
- Smile like a lotto winner – one crazy genius called Ralph Waldo Emerson made the great statement that “the whole world loves a lover”, damn but he was right. The key to people’s heart is positivity if you are not aware. You just have to know that most people are not comfortable with meeting new people. So you have to put their minds to rest that you’re harmless and you want nothing but a good nice conversation. Smiling and exuding positivity does this perfectly.
- Ask for the name and use it – I read this in Dale Carnegie’s book, How to Win Friends & Influence People, and it has never failed me. When you meet a stranger, make sure you get the name and use it repeatedly in the first conversation.
- Watch comedy shows – apart from the added benefit of this improving your overall life happiness exponentially, this will add a funny tint to your conversations. People love humor you know.
- Observe the rules – the thing about social situations is that there are no universal rules anywhere. How you should behave depends on where you are – you have to behave differently in a church compared to a networking party. The Super trick is to take some time to observe how people are acting around you, are if they are being upbeat or cool headed. Don’t bring noise into a cool environment or calm into a sizzling energetic room. Observe the rules and play by them. Then you win!
- Go radical truth on them – out of those 100 women I approached, the ones who became my closest friends were those I went total truth on. Here’s what I mean; I approach them and said hello, then told them I’m a shy guy on a mission to approach 100 girls to build his confidence and that she is my number 41. This perks them up and they usually laugh, then they look at my face, see that I am serious and then we have a wonderful conversation and I always get their numbers. Crazy, right?
- Guess – a lot of strangers are really not cool with you offloading a truckload of questions on them. They close up quickly and excuse themselves and that’s why I use guessing at times. I read about it in a blog post that I can’t really remember. It goes like this – during the conversation, instead of asking “where are you from”, observe them and say something like “you look like a new yorker”. Or instead of “what do you do”, say “something tells me you’re a fun person” or “something tells me you stay indoors a lot”. You get the Gist already.
- Prepare to be human – I still approach women and get rejected, I still try to make friends on the bus, parties, church, etc, and get rubbed on. You just have to be ready for being a human, not everyone is going to like you or want to talk to you. Accept this and when the time comes that someone rejects you, remember that it’s normal and go find someone else to talk to.
This is my show
What is the most dangerous thing you’ve found in your backyard?
Several years ago, I was on the ladder working on the roof of my shed. Off in the distance there were some people shooting. This is common here as I live in the South (of America). Most people around are fairly safe with their practice shooting. While on the ladder, I heard what sounded like a hummingbird fly by. I looked around for him/her and couldn’t find it. I heard another and another. It dawned on me that these were not hummingbirds, but bullets. I got off the ladder, and yelled as loud as I could that they were shooting towards my house. A few more shots and I went inside and called the sheriff department to go by and tell them they were shooting at my house. I waited a couple hours and heard the shots again. I got in the truck, drove around to the property behind mine and pulled up. The guy and some friends were out shooting targets. I introduced myself and we talked a bit about guns. Then I pointed out that behind their fence was my house about 500 yrs through the woods. I had been up on a ladder and several of their rounds had come near me. They were horrified. I told them to point toward the sand plant since it was closed on the weekend or build a berm to shoot into. they apologized and changed where they were shooting.
What is a stand you took during your wedding planning that you will never apologize for?
I’m Jewish and was marrying a Roman Catholic woman. My parents were vehemently against it, but they also demanded that it be a civil ceremony. My bride wanted the church wedding.
I told her if she wanted the church wedding, that’s what we’ll do. I was not really practicing Jewish traditions, I wasn’t going to synagogue, I routinely worked on Saturdays if my job called for it, and didn’t keep kosher. In fact, since leaving my parents’ home at age 20, I had eaten a cheeseburger for the first time in my life, and had a milk shake along with it!
My parents tried to pressure me to pressure her to at least make it a civil ceremony. I had never even discussed it with her. I told them I would ask, but if she said she wanted the church wedding, then that was the way it would be. They told me they were severing all communication with me. I told them that was okay. They were north of 60 and 70, and living across the ocean, so I replied that I would have to get used to not having them around eventually and I might as well start.
I never backed down, and never regretted it. It set the tone for our future dealings. They knew I was immune to any bullying or any pressure they could bring to bear. If they wanted me to do something, they were going to have to be reasonable and try to convince me with valid argument and not arbitrary stubbornness.
Very interesting …
Would you feel uncomfortable at your in-laws’ home on Christmas when everyone has gifts to open except for you?
I have actually been through this.
I married into a family that is very pretenious.
My husband is more approachable than they are, more down to earth.
We married in our 40’s after failed marriages, so we had a civil wedding with my step kids as our witnesses. They were excited to have me in their family, and I was happy to be their stepmom.
He rarely spoke of the rest of his family and I didn’t meet them until after we were married.
I moved to his hometown which was an hour away and where the family lives.
I was a wreck when Christmas rolled around. The few encounters I had with these people were not welcoming. In fact, they completely ignored me.
I went shopping with my husband to buy gifts for everyone, and the spirit of Christmas eased my fears.
When we arrived I felt the chill. I spoke directly to several people and they didn’t acknowledge me in any way.
So, with my Christmas spirit extinguished, I reluctantly sat by the Christmas tree to open gifts.
After the presents were all passed out, I sat and tried to not act surprised by not having anything to open.
In reality, I was totally embarrassed and fighting back the tears.
My family always bought a few extra gifts in case someone unexpectedly joined us.
I wasn’t expecting much, but I never dreamed they would be so rude.
I never would have gone had I known.
In 1944
What are some good habits to follow?
In no particular order:
- Floss before going to bed. To ensure that you don’t have junk stewing in your teeth for 8 hours.
- Drink a glass of water first thing in the morning and last thing at night.
- Perform kegels every day. Read more on why this is awesome.
- “Eat the frog”. Write down 1 task that you must absolutely perform in order for the day to be a success, and do it first when you get to work.
- Send 1 call/text/email to an old friend or colleague that you haven’t spoken with in a while. Over one year, that adds up to 365 reignited relationships (or 61 relationships reignited six times apiece).
- End the day with fewer emails in your inbox than you started with. Repeat until you get to inbox zero.
- Give away / donate one item in your household every single day. Repeat until you have an uncluttered, restful home.
- Answer one question on Quora per day. Work on your writing ability while contributing to the organization of the world’s knowledge.
- Walk to and from work, if possible. Exercise! Sunshine!
- Eat at least one fruit or vegetable each day. Sure, you should probably eat a half-dozen servings of each. But things can get really screwed up when you are eating zero fruits and veggies. Start small and be consistent.
- Express gratitude. My days go so much smoother when I remind myself: “dude, you could just as easily have been born in a Sudanese refugee camp. You’re one lucky mo-fo.”
- Spend at least 20 minutes reading something that is completely unrelated to your career (or “personal development”). Creative thinking requires varied inputs. If you have monofocus (e.g. only read about startups all day), you’re severely limiting the amount of interesting ideas you can come up with.
- Get uncomfortable at least 1x per day (ideally 3x or 5x). By “get uncomfortable” I mean “summon the courage to do something that makes you anxious”. Speak up during the work conference call. Say hi to the pretty girl or fella standing next to you in line. Run 4 miles instead of 3. Et cetera. Remember: “Everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear.” – George Addair
Polenta with Cheese (Mamaliga — Rumania)
Ingredients
- 1 cup yellow cornmeal
- 3/4 cup water
- 3 1/4 cups boiling water
- 2 teaspoons salt
- 1 tablespoon butter or margarine
- 1 cup grated Parmesan cheese
- 1/3 cup shredded Swiss or Kashkaval cheese
Instructions
- Mix cornmeal and 3/4 cup water in 2-quart saucepan. Stir in 3 1/4 cups water and the salt. Cook, stirring constantly, until mixture thickens and boils; reduce heat. Cover and simmer, stirring occasionally, 10 minutes.
- Remove from heat; stir until smooth. Spread 1/3 of the mixture in greased 1 1/2-quart casserole. Dot with 1/3 of the butter; sprinkle with 1/3 of the Parmesan cheese. Repeat twice. Sprinkle with Swiss cheese. Bake uncovered at 350 degrees F until hot and bubbly, 15 to 20 minutes.
Fried Cornmeal Mush
Omit butter and the grated Parmesan and Swiss cheeses. After cooking 10 minutes, spread in greased 9 x 5-inch loaf pan. Cover and refrigerate until firm, at least 12 hours. Invert pan to unmold; cut into 1/2-inch slices.
Heat 2 tablespoons butter in skillet until melted. Coat slices with flour; cook uncovered in butter over low heat until brown, about 5 minutes on each side. Serve with molasses, jam, maple syrup or sour cream if desired.
The aluminum foil attired world line traveler
One of my Patreon videos. Enjoy.