jet6

City Chicken meets Lox and Bagels

I suspected but did not know if my wife was having an affair. She had been texting a guy that she said was a friend. I had been hospitalized with appendicitis a few weeks before and was still at home hardly able to walk. I heard a text come in very late at night. She was asleep. I could not sleep due to pain. I looked.

Here is what I read:

Scumbag: Sorry about pregnancy. Def me?

I was blown away. I knew immediately what this meant. I woke her up and showed her. I was too shocked to be angry or hostile. My head was spinning. I could hardly breath. She denied they had sex.

She said Scumbag didn’t know how babies were made!!!

He was a married father of three that worked in the medical field. She said she could explain it. That I was reading too much into it.

I’m sure she did think that she could talk her way out of it in the morning. She had talked her way out of many other similar, albeit less damning and concrete situations over the last few months. She took her phone and fell back asleep right away as she had been drinking quite a bit.

I knew the truth but did not want any chance for her to be able to have even a fig leaf of cover. Once she was asleep again I got her phone and texted back to Scumbag, pretending to be her.

Me for her: What do you mean by Def me???

Scumbag: Are you sure it was me that got you pregnant?

I woke her again and showed her this new evidence. She no longer denied it. She was in tears, telling me she had broken up with him weeks ago. She said when she realised I could have died from the burst appendix that she really wanted me and not him. I believed it then, briefly. We are divorced now. Of course.

I have studied with, taught and collaborated professionally with products of the Chinese education system.

My friend from beida likes to boast she placed in the top half of her faculty. She wears it with plenty of pride, because she was one of several applicants from her province that was accepted that year. She considers my intellect average at best.

Another friend from qinghua blew my socks away when he elegantly derived a molecular dynamics homework question I had spent a fruitless night on. He did not need to consult any references and wasn’t taking the class. And no, he wasn’t a physics or chemistry major.

I will say the professionally qualified in china deserve their credentials, especially the nationally recognized standards or schools.

A shanghai/Beijing academy qualified dancer/singer/actor will have the requisite skill/looks/grooming to begin a performance career. An nth grade welder will be able to make welds only a select few can nationwide. A fudan PhD possesses a rare quality of mind.

And so on.

There is incredible competition in china, across all trades and professions. And China has a systematic mechanism of identifying, developing and sifting through the stream. In certain realms such as the arts and select technical trades, the mechanism is more thorough and rigorous than most countries. For example, emcees and newscasters must obtain a practicing cert, just like lawyers in many countries.

That’s the cream of the crop. Much work remains on the other end, where millions in each cohort still skip the gaokao due to lack of opportunity.

Gilligan’s Island as a 1970s Grindhouse Horror – Super Panavision 70

I retired in 2017

It was a Tuesday. I had had a Dinner just the evening given by the department and had received the traditional gift. It was all OVER and seriously – i felt liberated or free – FOR ABOUT 12 HOURS.

Then i woke up on Wednesday – my first thought was mechanical. It was 6:40 in the morning – my usual wake up time and it took me almost 20 minutes to realize I was Retired.

I sat there feeling depressed for some strange reason, My routine was gone. Leaving the house at 9:20 AM after breakfast, going to the office, doing some work, participate in a handful of meetings and returning back home. IT was over.

I missed the 11:00 AM – Coffee first. Then i missed the Lunch in the Canteen at 1:30 PM. Then i missed the general talk. My wife was gone (She teaches). I had never felt so lonely in my life.

At 3:30 – I dressed up and went to my workplace. I did not care – i just decided to go. I reached there at around 4:15 and there was a flutter. Everyone was puzzled. They greeted me, milled around me. My AGM invited me into his cabin for a cup of tea. It felt Good again. I had to make up a lie about why i was there of course. Some lie about some file which i presume nobody believed.

I left at 6:30 – feeling better. It was like going home after a regular day of work.

However i knew – if i keep going back – i would soon be ignored or curtly told to go home and i did not want that.

So i had to find a way out of my boredom.

The next 2 days were Torture. Staying alone at home – watching TV, Browsing the Internet, Disturbing my kids (I would Skype them at 2 PM when it was 12:30 Midnight)

A Lot of suggestions came up – including – trying how to cook (Which was a disaster).


It was perhaps on the 15th day – that i got a call

A Local company in Bangalore was sigining an MOU with a Malaysian Company and the Lawyer wanted someone who understood “Contracts” and knew about “Malaysia and Singapore” for an outside opinion.

He couriered me the documents and i gave my first legal opinion. I got my first legal fee – Rs. 7500/- since 1983

A Few days later- the Company invited me to Bangalore. I agreed and was planning to stay with my sister when they sent an email – booking me a room in a Hotel and booking a flight ticket for me and asking me for my consultancy charges?

First experience of such things.

Of course I had to portray myself as a Top corporate lawyer. I printed visiting cards , purchased a few clothes and went on my first consultation.


Life slowly changed

I found some work – enough to keep me slightly busy with contracts from Singapore/Malaysia/US

I found Quora – and it was a huge, huge relief.

I found Movies – getting complimentary tickets for every film from my Auditor Friend who himself did not care for movies.

Now i have my latest interest in Computers and C Programming (I am now at Arrays)

So slowly you get adapted to a new life. One post retirement.

If you can get past the early days – You get used to it and then slowly begin to forget what it was life when you had a Working life.


My advise:-

(a) Always have a Hobby – Reading, Browsing. A Hobby would be very useful indeed.

(b) If possible try to get away for a Holiday soon as you retire

(c) Keep mobile – Walks, Going to the market etc.

(d) Join Quora – It seriously was a life saver for me. I was busy only around 20 hours or so every week – the rest of the time it was Quora which saved me.

(e) If you long to go back to your workplace – Dont!!!! Have Rarity Value.

Chinese and westerners have very different ideas about personal and group rights, so it is impossible to give an answer which pleases everyone.

For Americans and westerners, the threat comes from an over-reaching government which wants to extend its power over every facet of personal life. So for them, the power of the Chinese government to store voice, gait and facial recognition, full access to to digital communications when needed, access to bank accounts, etc represents a typical tyranny which is unacceptable by western standards.

For Chinese though, the greatest threat came from foreign invasion and occupation. To most Chinese, the Chinese government is their guardian and protector from foreign exploitation. Most Chinese believe that the government should have access to bank records and personal data. If the Chinese government did not have free access, how would it catch criminals and corrupt officials who abuse their power. After all, if a citizen is honest, why does he care about his own privacy? He has nothing to hide!

This means that there is no objective standard for judging how democratic China is, because the west and Asians see the same thing completely differently.

The Decline of the United States: A Multifaceted Story
In Search Of Truth September 29, 2024

The Decline of the United States: A Multifaceted Story

The idea that the United States is in decline has been a recurring theme in political and cultural discourse, particularly over the past few decades. While the term “decline” can be subjective and varies depending on one’s perspective, several indicators point toward significant challenges the U.S. faces that have contributed to this narrative. From economic stagnation and political polarization to social unrest and a weakened global influence, the decline of the U.S. is a multifaceted issue. Below is an exploration of the key dimensions driving this perceived fall from prominence.

1. Economic Inequality and Stagnation

The American Dream, which once symbolized upward mobility, has become increasingly out of reach for many. While the U.S. remains a wealthy nation, the distribution of wealth has skewed sharply toward the upper echelons of society. The top 1% of Americans control about a third of the nation’s wealth, while middle-class wages have stagnated for decades. This growing inequality has led to a breakdown in social cohesion, as many working- and middle-class Americans struggle to maintain their standard of living amid rising costs of housing, education, and healthcare.

The decline of American manufacturing, once the backbone of the economy, has been another contributing factor. With the advent of globalization and automation, many manufacturing jobs have moved overseas, leaving a void in many working-class communities. These economic changes have decimated industrial towns across the Midwest and Northeast, creating a sense of despair and fueling populist sentiments.

2. Political Polarization and Dysfunction

The U.S. political system has become more divided and dysfunctional than at any time in recent memory. While the country has always had political disagreements, the partisan divide today seems unbridgeable. On nearly every major issue—whether it be healthcare, immigration, or climate change—Americans are split along ideological lines. This polarization has eroded trust in institutions and undermined the basic functioning of government.

A significant factor in this polarization is the rise of hyper-partisan media, which often prioritizes sensationalism and outrage over nuanced debate. Social media platforms amplify these divisions by creating echo chambers, where people are exposed primarily to views that confirm their preexisting beliefs. The result has been a political landscape that feels more like a culture war than a forum for governance.

Moreover, the influence of money in politics has led to a system where special interests, corporate lobbyists, and wealthy donors wield disproportionate power. This has created a sense among many Americans that their government no longer represents their interests, leading to widespread disillusionment and apathy.

3. Social Fragmentation and Civil Unrest

American society has also become more fragmented. Racial, ethnic, and cultural divides, long part of the U.S. fabric, have grown sharper. The killing of George Floyd in 2020 and the subsequent protests brought to the surface long-simmering tensions over police brutality, systemic racism, and inequality. While these protests represented a call for justice, they also highlighted the deep rifts within American society.

The rise of identity politics, where individuals’ political positions are based on their race, gender, or ethnicity, has further contributed to social fragmentation. While the recognition of historically marginalized groups is essential, identity politics can sometimes lead to a zero-sum mindset, where groups see themselves in constant competition for limited resources or recognition.

Additionally, the erosion of traditional community structures, such as churches and civic organizations, has left many Americans feeling isolated and disconnected. The digital age has, paradoxically, contributed to this sense of isolation, as more people retreat into virtual spaces rather than engaging in face-to-face social interactions.

4. Global Influence and Military Overreach

The United States’ global standing has also diminished. Once the unchallenged leader of the free world, the U.S. now faces stiff competition from rising powers, most notably China. In the aftermath of World War II, the U.S. helped shape the liberal international order, promoting democracy, human rights, and free trade. However, in recent years, this order has frayed, with authoritarianism on the rise and international alliances weakening.

One of the major factors in this decline has been military overreach. Following the 9/11 attacks, the U.S. launched wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, both of which have dragged on with mixed results. These conflicts have drained U.S. resources, both in terms of money and human lives, while achieving limited success in stabilizing the regions involved. The U.S. has also been criticized for its role in destabilizing the Middle East and North Africa, contributing to the refugee crises and the spread of extremism.

The withdrawal from international agreements, such as the Paris Climate Agreement and the Iran nuclear deal, has also weakened the U.S.’s reputation as a reliable global leader. Meanwhile, China’s rise as an economic and geopolitical power has challenged the U.S. in key areas like technology, trade, and military might.

5. Cultural and Moral Decline

Many commentators also point to a cultural or moral decline as part of the broader story of America’s fall. Traditional values, such as family, faith, and civic duty, have been eroded by consumerism, individualism, and relativism. The pursuit of material wealth and instant gratification has replaced long-term commitment to communal or national goals.

This cultural shift has affected everything from education to political discourse. The U.S. education system, once the envy of the world, has fallen behind in key metrics, particularly in science and math. There is also a growing anti-intellectualism in certain segments of society, where expertise and facts are increasingly dismissed in favor of conspiracy theories and tribal loyalties.

The breakdown of the family unit has also been cited as a key indicator of moral decline. Rising divorce rates, single-parent households, and a general retreat from marriage have contributed to a sense of social instability, particularly among the younger generation.

6. Challenges to Democracy

Perhaps the most alarming sign of U.S. decline is the erosion of democratic norms. The events surrounding the 2020 and 2024 presidential elections, including claims of election fraud and efforts to overturn results, have undermined confidence in the electoral process. The January 6th, 2021 attack on the Capitol, in which rioters sought to disrupt the certification of the election, was a watershed moment that exposed the fragility of U.S. democracy.

Voter suppression efforts, gerrymandering, and the influence of dark money have further weakened democratic participation. While the U.S. has long held itself up as a beacon of democracy, it now faces serious questions about the health of its own system.

Conclusion: A Path Forward?

The decline of the United States is not inevitable, nor is it irreversible. The country still possesses tremendous resources, talent, and potential. However, addressing the factors driving this decline will require bold action and a renewed sense of national purpose. Economic reforms to reduce inequality, a commitment to rebuilding trust in democratic institutions, and a more measured foreign policy are essential steps in reversing course.

Ultimately, the fate of the United States rests on whether it can overcome its divisions and recapture the spirit of unity and innovation that once made it a global leader. Whether or not it can, remains one of the defining questions of the 21st century.

Gavin de Becker discusses this situation in his book — The Gift of Fear.

I will admit, I have not read his book. But I did see him interviewed for this book. And here, 18 yrs later, I still remember his example for the scenario.

Here is how he explained it.

If someone is trying to take you to a second crime scene, they are doing it for one reason only. That reason is to eventually murder you. After all, they can rob or rape you where you are.

If you’re going to die anyways, your best strategy is to try to get away.

Suppose they have a gun? How difficult is it to hit a moving target? Suppose it’s 50/50. So you have at least a half a chance of getting away?

In tests, the chances of being hit are less than 10% (I believe this was taken from police training sites). The chances of being hit in such a way that you couldn’t keep running were about 4%. The chances of being hit fatally, were about 1-2% (again, this was a long time ago, my numbers may not be exactly what he quoted, but they are pretty close).

So your choice is get in the van, and 100% chance of being murdered. Or take a chance, and have about a 10% of even being hit.

Always run. Run and scream.

The killer Muppets – 1940’s Super Panavision 70

Taiwan is a small island without much strategic importance.

Says who? Says you? Who the fuck are you? What make you such a fucking expert?

Taiwan is strategically very, very important for the following reasons:

  1. It is the key island in the first island chain that blocks China’s access to the Pacific.
  2. If Taiwan falls under the control of the USA, then US forces (including nuclear missiles) could be less than a hundred miles away from China’s coast.
  3. Taiwan is symbolic of China’s century of humiliation. The Chinese people demand that Taiwan be reunified.
  4. TSMC.
  5. No country should be expected to cede its territory for any reason. Should the USA cede Hawaii or Texas? Should the UK cede the Falkland Islands?

What was the most incredibly stupid (and avoidable) error a pilot made that caused the crash of a passenger airliner?

American Airlines flight 965 from Miami to Cali, Colombia. The aircraft was a Boeing 757–200. This flight took place on December 20, 1995 with 163 onboard.

Cali airport is situated in a thin valley surrounded by tall mountains. The plane was approaching Cali at night time. There was no radar at the airport because it was sabotaged by a terror group. So Air Traffic Control could not see where the aircraft was going.

As flight 587 was coming in for the approach, the pilots were planning to land on runway 01, but ATC offered if they wanted to land straight in on runway 19. The pilots accepted the straight in approach because it was faster. The flight had already been delayed a couple of hours back in Miami. With a sudden change in approach procedures, the pilots had to quickly figure out what navigation aides to use for the approach. And since they had to descend at a steeper rate, the pilots deployed the speed brakes to help with the descent.

One of the radio navigation points was ‘ROZO,’ and it was a point on the approach course for runway 19. The pilots had to program that non-directional beacon point on the flight computer. The crew typed in the letter R, and chose the first option on the list. But the waypoint the pilot chose was ROMEO which was in a completely different direction.

The plane made a left turn, and the pilots didn’t realize the plane was turning. And since the aircraft was flying in between mountains, the plane was turning into a mountain range. The alarm went off in the cockpit telling the pilots to immediately pull up. The captain did everything he could to climb. He pulled the yoke, and increased thrust on the engines. The problem was that in those few seconds of trying to save the airplane, he forgot that the speed brakes were still deployed which hinders the aircraft from climbing. The aircraft crashed near the peak of a mountain. Investigators believed that if the speed brakes were retracted immediately, the aircraft could have cleared the mountain.

There were 4 people who had survived the crash. There were a few others that survived the initial impact, but because it took search and rescue a long time to get to the crash site, they weren’t able to get medical treatment in time and succumb to their injuries.

After an investigation, the pilots big mistake was not typing into the flight computer ‘ROZO.’ When the pilots typed in R into the computer, they assumed that the ROZO would come up because it was the closest navigation aide. But the pilots didn’t realize they had to type in the letters ROZO. Investigators still don’t understand why the pilots didn’t see what the first option was on the list. It clearly said Romeo which wasn’t the waypoint the aircraft was supposed to go to. That one little mistake cost 159 lives. And the second mistake was failing to realize that the speed brakes were still deployed.

No.

Don’t be that guy. You will get plenty of work out before the lights go out.

If you try to pull some shit like that, you will be caught, and your Drill will wake the rest of us up, with some clever ideas to make the rest of us hate life, and in return, make us hate you!

main qimg 2e9e2654eb9a8998fdd2f4773663006e lq
main qimg 2e9e2654eb9a8998fdd2f4773663006e lq

(The actual barracks he climbed out of)

We had a guy sneak out in the middle of the night once. Like some kind of ninja, this dude scaled down from the third story window in the middle of the night.

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main qimg 3d31af9108f74be78203c22484ff5596 lq

He then ninja’d himself all the way to the vending machines with roughly $40 of money from other soldiers in his platoon.

Then this ninja dude climbed back in the 3rd story window, because the doors had alarms on them.

But instead of being a smart ninja dude, this soldier decided that since he took all the risk, he would just keep all the fatty cakes for himself.

This wall climbing troop didn’t give the other soldiers what they paid for, and decided the next day to take a nap inside of his wall locker with all of his ninja’d loot.

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main qimg d761112fb10f55775ed6d8c50f97aa05 lq

Suffice it to say, the Drills were made aware of his mission, and they found him sleeping in a tiny closet with $40 worth of vending machine goods.

Three things you never want to do in Basic Training;

  1. F*** your battle buddies
  2. Piss off your Drill Sergeants
  3. Get caught sleeping on duty

This ninja was 3 for 3.

The moral of the story is to not be a ninja. Go to effing sleep dude. Sleep is gold.

Cheers

Oma S. Ari

This story contains themes or mentions of physical violence, gore, or abuse.

The prison guard was an angry man, never smiling and rarely talking. He had been there for as long as Lucas could remember. Resentful and bitter he walked the corridors, giving the impression that at some point, something absolutely terrible was to happen to him. Lucas did not share his enraged aura, but he sure had the same outlook on what was to come. Whatever awaited him outside of these prison walls, Lucas was certain that it was nothing good..The same room had been his home since childhood. The bare walls had a gray-greenish color, the cracks gradually mending with time as the world slowly moved from disorder to order, from chaos to control. When he was a boy the window had been nothing but a gaping hole into the empty courtyard outside, and the wind had kept him up all night. Now, the glass covered almost all of the metal frame, leaving only a fine, glittering powder below, gathering strength and finding its purpose. So many years Lucas had spent staring into this ceiling, imagining the skies above it. Still, when the angry guard opened the door with a sharp “It’s time”, Lucas did not linger. The relief of leaving this place had been nesting in his stomach for months..Lucas knew the path through the prison, but the moment they left the main gate and headed to the sparsely trafficked street outfront, he was on new territory. The air, ground, trees, everything seemed different here, as if color had suddenly been injected into the universe. Blinking, it took him many moments to even reflect on what was supposed to follow. He did not need much reflection, it turned out, as the guard, now joined by some of his colleagues in a hostile silence, quickly shoved him into the back of a parked van. Loudly, and without warning, Lucas kneeled on the metal floor and vomited. He could feel this evening’s cereal stroke his palette as it left. The guard gave him a look of disapproval as he wiped his mouth with his sleeve and shakingly sat up with his back against the wall.“Motion sickness”, another guard snickered, “the boy has never been in a car before, has he?”The door of the van slammed shut, and the engine started..There were hundreds of journalists outside the courthouse and, surrounding them, a thick layer of wrath. The sound of angry voices traveled in murmuring waves towards him as he stepped out in the sun. Lucas suspected that this week’s paper had been filled with the most hideous descriptions of his persona, and he made his best effort to not make eye contact with anyone as he was escorted through the crowd. It was a strange experience, he thought, spending the very first moment basking in the light of the real world, surrounded by nothing but a yelling mob. Further, he guessed that he was to live without his medicine now. The pills that the guards served him every morning were to stop coming. He had never known exactly what those drugs did, but as the colors and sounds of the horde around him exploded in his mind, creating thousands of blinking stars shooting across his open eyes, he thought that life was likely to be much more vibrant from now on. The sounds seemed sharper. Every sensation clearer. Lucas and his entourage struggled up the stairs. Inside, the court building was brilliantly white, with a large skylight that illuminated the great entry hall. The moment the large doors closed behind them, muffling the sound from the outside, the guards stepped backwards and a new kind of custodian took their place.. 

“Lucas, my name is Zaman and I am to be your lawyer throughout the day’s proceedings”

Zaman was tall, and serious looking. Lucas could not help thinking that he sounded as if he was here to offer an apology and bad excuses. Twenty four years had Lucas been locked away, and not once had he heard the name Zaman before.

“I have tried to contact you on numerous occasions through your time incarcerated”, Zaman said, “but it seemed to me and my colleagues that you preferred to have no correspondence”, he held the door open as they entered another great hall with white marble walls. Lucas felt a ray of hope glimmer faintly in his chest. Zaman continued, “I know it has been a long time behind bars for you, but you have shown great behavior throughout…”

“Will that matter?”, Lucas interrupted.

Zaman gave him a crooked, but sympathetic, smile.

“I doubt it”.

 

.

 

With Zaman by his side, Lucas sat in the middle of the marble hall. In front of him was an open notebook and two feather pens. Their tips looked as if made by solid gold. Lucas wondered if he was expected to use them. He had practiced a lot of basic tasks in prison, but he was no writer. As the room around them filled with people, Zaman kept giving him reassuring looks, promising that it would all be over shortly. The six judges, all dressed in black with their dark blue caps covering the better part of their faces, were seated the moment the clock struck twelve. As soon as the last one of them had put down her briefcase on the table, the trial began.

 

.

 

Lucas shivered. An echo flew through the room. Murder.

Murder.

“Murder”.

The judge farthest to the right had leaned forward and spoken.

“Ah!”, Zaman reacted quickly, collecting his papers and standing up “But who? That, my fellow citizens, is the question we are here to answer today”. He spoke in a calm and controlled manner, every now and then turning to the other side of the room to face the curious audience.

“Twenty four years is a long time”, Zaman stated while nodding seriously, “but is it long enough for us to consider the most heinous crimes?”

It was almost eleven when he finished and the prosecutor took over. Lucas felt exhausted and drained, wanting nothing but to stand up and leave. The whispering of the onlookers made it difficult to focus, and the voices of the judges seemed distorted and slow. At some point, he was sure, someone was going to ask him a question, and he had very little to say to his defense. He felt like a scared animal clinging to the arm of Zaman, hoping that there was something this stranger could do or say to change what was about to happen.

 

.

 

It was ten, and the crowd gasped.

“A child ”, the prosecutor said.

“Out of the question”, Zaman responded, “Look at him. He is nothing but a child himself”

The prosecutor’s desk was a few meters to the side, and Lucas, dizzy from the stress and the bright light, could not see her clearly. But he heard her voice, sharp and clear and bouncing from the marble in all directions. He followed it with his eyes, as the sound of her words echoed around him, traveling from wall to wall and merging with the whispering of the audience and the low rumbling from the street outside.

The crowd gasped again. Lucas could see a man close his hand over his mouth and shake his head.

“A child”, she repeated, “A boy from Houston. He is only twelve.”

The legs of a chair dragged along the floor. Steps. A halt. The prosecutor had stood up and made her way across the room. Lucas had always known that today was going to be filled with humiliation and bad news. Still, as he sat in this white room, with blue eyes watching from every direction, a sense of shock crawled up his spine. The disgust radiating from the seats around him had managed to seep through his skin, penetrating his belly and grabbing a hold of his innards. He felt it too. Disgusted.

“A child of twelve. A murder in Houston”, she said a third time, now looking directly at Lucas. The gray haired woman had a wrinkle over her eyes that made her seem troubled rather than fierce. Somewhere in her face Lucas could sense a hint of empathy. The prosecutor felt sorry for him. He swallowed the sense of surprise, having been worried that he had lost his voice in the chaotic scenes unfolding in his mind.

“Why?”, he demanded to know.

“Lunacy”, she responded softly.

 

.

 

Zaman had been correct, the trial was over quicker than it had begun. By the time the prosecutor had presented the gruesome details of the case and the audience had choked on their disgust enough times, morning was creeping up on them, and the proceedings came to an end.

Murder. A twelve year old boy.

“It could have been worse”, Zaman said while standing up and stroking his suit jacket, “Trust me, Lucas, it could have been a lot worse”.

Lucas was not sure he could stand. His voice was breaking as he asked:

“Worse than a dead child?”

Zaman attempted a smile, but it looked more like a grimace. Before he walked out he put his hand on Lucas’ shoulder.

“We will stay in touch. We have things to plan and discuss”.

Lucas did not turn to look as Zaman left. Alone he sat by the desk in the middle of the room until the sky light made the walls glow in a purple morning hue. Only then a janitor approached him, with the same irritated expression once carried by a prison guard that Lucas was never to see again.

“You are free to go, son”, the janitor grunted, clearly annoyed by his presence, “How about you make use of that freedom and stop wasting space in my court?”

 

.

 

Outside, the air was different again. Cold, early morning surrounded him and the silence had replaced the commotion from earlier. Whatever feelings that had been boiling outside the courthouse during the day had died down now. People had gone home. The journalists had finished. No one was there. For a brief moment, Lucas thought about the things that awaited. He would need to make friends, find his family, maybe even get a girlfriend. He sighed. He was not feeling particularly excited about any of it. Slowly, he started walking aimlessly down the empty street. He could get a nice home, maybe. A job. Life was long, and he needed to spend it somehow. He had always wanted to see the ocean, and he was sure there were people that worked and lived in places where you got to look at it every day. Maybe that would suit him. As he passed through the blocks, the houses changed in character. The impressive marble of the law was replaced by broken bricks and mud roads. This was a poor area. He could tell how the cracks in the facades were slowly healing, rubble from the street carefully moving towards the gates of people’s homes and gardens. Sadness and defeat hung in the air and embraced him as he walked. One day, he thought to himself, he would live in a neighborhood very different from this one.

 

.

 

But first, there was something that needed to be done. He had spent twenty four years in prison, and time had come to pay for it. Whatever pills the guards had given him with his daily morning meal had left his system by now, and he felt a new strength entering his body. His mind was more awake than before, his hearing more attuned. He listened to the sound of his tongue moving against his teeth, enjoying the soft melody of saliva and bone. The noise seemed to come just as much from the inside of his head as from the actual physical world it belonged to. For a long time he stood still, biting his lips and licking the inside of his cheeks, enjoying the harmony it created. A rounded, silky clicking that slithered down the throat. Then he laughed to himself. No more stalling. He needed to get to Houston.

Perhaps an unpopular opinion, but GABAPENTIN. I’m not sorry I’ve never tried cocaine, heroin, meth, crack, really anything beyond cannabis. Mushrooms once. I have enough trouble with dopamine as it is now, I cannot imagine something making that more difficult.

I took Gabapentin (Neurontin) for more than 4 years. I was taking it for a diagnosis of neuropathy, my left shoulder sucks from living, working, and it got way worse after open heart surgery at 39, I’m 46.

It has a mild soporific/anti-depressive effect, made me hurt a LOT less, but… knowing the long term effects and the considerable amount of heart and blood pressure meds made me want off of it pronto.

I went to my pain doc after deciding to come off of it. Weaning myself off of it was pure, unadulterated hell. That garbage is dangerous coming out, and from mood changes to stomach aches, to dizziness and blurred vision, and from all-day nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea, that part was easy. Halfway through the process of weaning, I had body pain that was *insane* for about 72 hours, and then it seemed to be way less stressful after.

Some side effects while ON gabapentin:

  1. Loss of libido in a huge way
  2. Coordination and a strange gait.
  3. Miss a dose? Get ready.
  4. Loss of alertness because you are so damned tired all the time
  5. Problems waking up (that have persisted after use)
  6. I felt like I mumbled a lot, and my speech sometimes seemed slurred to me. I can’t imagine what I sounded like to a normal person.
  7. Persistent dosing time: I had to make sure that I was taking it the same times, every day, every week, every month. Three times per day, 900mg a dose.
  8. You can be an irritable bastard prior to getting that first dose in.
  9. Some days, you are engulfed in a sadness that does not subside, seemingly that whole day.

Now,I also can look forward to some just purely depressing long-term side effects being NOT on Gabapentin:

  1. Memory degradation. My short recall is pure sh*t sometimes.
  2. Pain. Every single day from waking to sleeping, my shoulder hurts sometimes to the point where I get little akathisia (this inner restlessness that makes me have an almost “tick” to move my shoulder. So strange and unnerving. It seems to increase as my stress/anxiety increases.
  3. Organ damage, brain and liver damage
  4. Very weird respiratory depression
  5. A foggy feeling sometimes

Gabapentin sucks. Please, take my story and have something else chosen for you.

**Edited to add** While I appreciate the people who took time to read and suggest edits, I am not doing this. All edits outside of basic spelling will be discarded. I’m sorry I have to explain this but I wrote this from my own perspective as a child. No child has perfect grammar. If you feel the need to change, delete entire paragraphs I suggest you please write your own story. This is mine.

************

I was with my mother and older sister in the grocery store. Kindergarten age, all big eyes and watchful quiet. I didn’t talk much, even then. I may have been small but I’d already learned that speaking only increased the pain.

My older sister had wandered off, but I stood right by mother. If I moved, even to see where sister had gone, I’d get beat later for misbehaving. It was just like me to cause problems. So I walked behind her like a little shadow. Careful, always careful to stay out of the way.

An older lady approached my mom and complimented her on how I behaved. She wore a housecoat and gray hair, just like a grandma on tv. This was so very weird – I never ever got told I did something good. I peeked out at her from behind my mom. She saw me and said “Oh how pretty she is! Look at those big eyes and long long eyelashes.” I smiled then…in my whole life no one had told me I was pretty without it being proceeded by severe pain. She made another compliment about my smile and I guess that was too much.

My mom interrupted and said “Oh you should see my other daughter. She’s the real beauty and so very good. This one’s just trouble”. My smile faded away and I looked down at my shoes. They hurt anyway, were too small. They’d been my sisters that got handed to me when she didn’t like the color anymore. They were old and scuffed and I was sure I’d be in trouble later. I never could figure out how to make the old shoes look like the new ones my sister wore.

The lady went around my mom and came and looked down at me. She said in a firm voice that allowed no disbelief “You are good too”. Then she smiled at me – just at me! and went on with her day.

She didn’t know it and neither did I, but that was when I first started to question how things had always been. When I was scrubbing the bathroom and my sister was outside because she was good enough to play I remembered it. When I got in trouble because my older sister did something and I didn’t stop her I’d remember that. Those little words got me through a lot of things and helped me learn that maybe I didn’t deserve what happened to me.

“You are good too”, such a little sentence but it started such a change in me.

At about eleven years into our marriage, we were in big trouble. We were in our living room, both crying (my husband doesn’t cry, he was a Marine), and sitting in abject, defeated silence, as there was nothing left to say. It was dead. We failed. We were over. Too much pain.

Suddenly, I had an idea. I said, “OK, if this marriage is dead, let’s give it a damn funeral. And you know what? Who says we can’t marry each other again and start a new relationship?”

My husband looked at me and said, “Well, that’s just crazy enough to possibly work.”

We took off our rings. We wrote scathing eulogies to the first marriage. “Dear first marriage, I don’t know how you managed to both suck and blow, but die in a fucking fire….” We proceeded to speak to each other about our “exes,” complaining about all of the crap they did to us. “My ex left his damn socks on the floor ALL THE TIME.” “Oh, yeah, well MY ex threw temper tantrums about stupid shit.”

We lit candles. We created sacred space. We smudged our rings in sage smoke, and we said off-the-cuff vows to one another.

“I promise not to leave my socks on the floor”

“I promise not to wait until I can’t take something anymore and then yell at you”

We put our rings back on, we tied our hands together with our original handfasting cord after smudging it and adding things to it. We kissed. We made love. A lot.

We never spoke of it again. Almost twenty years strong, we are. We still make love. A lot.

Why US and West scared of China and Russia in Africa

Mediterranean Steak and Pasta with Tomato-Olive Sauce

Whole-wheat pasta is served with beef Sirloin Tip Center Steaks and a tomato and olive sauce. This one will please the adults and the kids in your family.

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Yield: 4 servings

Ingredients

  • 8 ounces uncooked whole grain fettuccine
  • 4 beef Sirloin Tip Center Steaks, cut 3/4 inch thick (about 4 ounces each)
  • 1 (26 ounce) jar pasta sauce with olives*
  • 1 teaspoon dried oregano leaves, crushed
  • 1/4 cup finely shredded Italian cheese blend or mozzarella cheese
  • 2 teaspoons chopped fresh parsley leaves

Instructions

  1. Cook fettuccine according to package directions; drain and keep warm.
  2. Heat a large nonstick skillet over medium heat until hot. Place beef steaks in skillet; cook for 11 to 13 minutes for medium rare (145 degrees F) doneness, turning occasionally. (Do not overcook.) Remove from skillet; keep warm.
  3. Combine pasta sauce and oregano in same skillet; heat until hot. Return steaks to skillet; turn to coat with sauce.
  4. Place steaks on fettuccine; spoon sauce over all.
  5. Sprinkle steaks with cheese, allowing cheese to melt. Sprinkle with parsley.

Notes

* You may substitute 1 (26 ounce) jar pasta sauce with olives for 1 (26 ounce) pasta sauce + 1/4 cup chopped olives.

Nutrition

Per serving: 474 Calories; 99.9 Calories from fat; 11.1g Total Fat (3.7g Saturated Fat; 0.2g Trans Fat; 0.3g Polyunsaturated Fat; 2.3g Monounsaturated Fat;) 71mg Cholesterol; 766mg Sodium; 54g Total Carbohydrate; 10.1g Dietary Fiber; 37g Protein; 6.2mg Iron; 332mg Potassium; 4.5mg NE Niacin; 0.4mg Vitamin B6; 2.8mcg Vitamin B12; 5.9mg Zinc; 33.6mcg Selenium; 90.1mg Choline

This recipe is an excellent source of Dietary Fiber, Protein, Iron, Niacin, Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Zinc, and Selenium; and a good source of Choline.

Most Chinese foreign students I have met here in the US are shocked.

Not because they learned anything shocking about their country or government. It’s because they see how mainstream Western media present lies after lies about their home country. The place where they grew up.

As a result, most of them become more nationalistic after spending some time in the US.

You don’t have to believe me. Befriend Chinese foreign students in your city, I assume you’re a Westerner, and slowly ask their opinions of the Western mainstream media coverage of China. If they trust you, they will tell you truthfully what they think.

EDIT: I have deleted some comments from trolls and people who just want to have meaningless internet debates. If you ever use the words “wumao” or “fifty cents”, your comment will be deleted.

I have six siblings. My dad had a pretty good job that must have brought in decent money, but he and my mom (who was a homemaker) had seven kids to feed and clothe.

Every couple of months, my mom would receive bags of hand-me-downs from my cousins. It was fun sorting through the piles of clothes. I never gave up hope that something on-trend would make an appearance. Needless to say, that never happened. So, I was always attired in dated, usually over-sized clothing (it didn’t help that I was a scrawny little thing).

The Christmas I was in Grade Six, my oldest brother was working full time. He was the type of big brother that you see in the movies . . . kind, patient and generous. Many times on a Friday night he’d show up with chips and pop (a rare treat) for us kids.

On December 23rd, he showed up with a pile of beautifully wrapped gifts. I was thrilled beyond belief just by the presentation. On Christmas morning, I carefully untied the beautiful ribbon, and slid my small fingers along the seams. I savored each delicious moment of the unwrapping process.

When I finally unveiled the box, I held my breath and slowly opened it. First I pulled out a beautiful, soft, red turtleneck sweater. Hidden beneath a layer of tissue paper, I saw a tan-coloured something peeking out. It was a faux-leather jumper (a sleeveless dress), complete with a belt. The entire ensemble fit me like a glove. It was on-trend, and I was over the moon.

For the first time in my young life, I could wear a new outfit (one that actually fit) to school. I can still remember how thrilling it was to wear that gorgeous outfit. My big brother is a kind and gentle man with a family of his own, and I hold him in the highest regard.

My American customer told me,

he was shocked about :

“Chinese kids are allowed to drink wine”

I told him,my grandpa forced me to drink wine when I was 6 yrs old, while my Muslim grandma encouraging me at the same table.

China is sometime so wired even for Chinese.

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I remember going into prison, I was facing a 10 year sentence for drugs and pretty down on myself over it. But someone said something to me at the start of my stay that has stuck with me ever since.

“Every day you need some kind of victory, be it physical, mental, or spiritual. Every day, have some victory big or small.”

I don’t know if I really understood him fully at the time, but he had been in and out of the system for his entire life.

In prison, I did alot of pushups and I read alot of books. I fought noone when I could, and anyone when I had to. I played the games, chess, dominoes, cards, basketball, I even learned d&d. I made friends and i made enemies. I faced boredom and some of the most challenging situations of my life. I faced myself in the mirror, the good parts and the ugly parts. I learned alot about myself there.

Something else I remember thinking alot, almost as a mantra is a quote from the movie nacho libre. When the orphan kid is trying to comfort him and he tells him “I’ll have my hot day in the sun” there’s alot of opportunity to make your time slightly easier. Drugs of course, getting stuck watching TV, but really I’m talking about turning away from what you belive is right. It’s easy to compromise your morals in a place like that. But I had my hot day in the sun. In the long run, I think that’s better.

Just like in the real world there are alot of things you can’t control there, and there isn’t always a clear path forward… When there is you know what to do. But when there isn’t, you can still have a small victory everyday. Workout, learn something, face yourself and decide who you want to be going forward, meditate, pray, do something worth doing.

I ended up doing 3 years and 10 months before I made parole. And it’s been almost that long I’ve been out. All in all I feel like prison gave me the opportunity to become who I am now. There’s alot of people in there that got alot more time than I did. But if I had to do more, I’d try and live by that same advice ol shake gave me.

I still try and live by it now.

Anyway I’ve never done this before so thanks for reading.

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