.
Funny relationships
A young woman submitted the message below to Tech Support as a joke about her relationship with her husband. She received a reply that was way too good to keep to herself.
Here it goes:
Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as: NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.
Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, to no avail. What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate
The response:
πΏπππ§ πΏππ¨π₯ππ§ππ©π,
First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter the command: βI thought you loved me.htmlβ and try to download Tears 6.2. Do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download Snoring Loudly Beta version.
Whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother-In-Law 1.0, as it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.
In addition, please do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might want to consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0, perhaps Housekeeper 2.3 and Chef 5.6 as two additional applications to download.
Good Luck,
Tech Support Team
I always try to be entertaining when interacting with the service industry. I have re-read some of my diatribes - I still think they're funny. Since I do not often receive humorous responses - or even acknowledgement - maybe I should reconsider how humorous I might actually be.
@DSK,
Your last sentence - words I need to live by!