.
I just couldn't understand why my coffee tasted like camel pee
During my "off in the wilderness" days, we (my wife and I) would go to a restaurant and order coffee with refills. Back in those days, refills were the norm. And we could stretch our time, and enjoy ourselves by drinking coffee.
One day while we were at the fast food franchise Carl's Jr. we were drinking the coffee and talking about how lousy it was. Honestly it tasted like camel piss. And we stopped drinking it and left the restaurant.
But it was only then that I glanced in the window reflection and saw two of the employees a guy and a girl watching our every move and snickering.
Ugh.
Spent the night vomiting. Both of us.
I don't know what happened to those two.
But...
But... Karma is a swift sword. Don't you know.
*sigh*
Van life. If it wasn't one thing it was the other.
I've had people pour sugar in the gas tank, and others flatten our tires. I've seem people call the police on us, and all sorts of stuff. Not an easy life. I'll tell you what.
But pissing in our coffee...
God.
Memories that I don't ever want to relive.
Today...
What was the role of empresses and concubines in Ancient China (Han, Tang)? Did they have any power over the emperor?
First of all, an Empress was significantly different to a concubine in ancient Chinese culture. Although ancient Chinese allowed polygamy, there must always be a formal wife. She was married through a more formal ceremony and had significantly more legal rights and privileges, such as not being allowed to be divorced without valid reason.
A concubine did not have any of these privileges.
In fact, a son born to a concubine could be given for adoption to be the son of the prime wife, if she chose to do so.
The Empress was, of course, the formal wife of the Emperor. She would have to have the dignity to be the First Lady of the Empire; also there was no Second Lady (sorry concubines). And as the First Lady, she would have to play a role fitting of traditional Confucian values. That is, to be a supportive wife and responsible mother.
I will list out the one lady who I personally rate as the greatest Empress of China. Note that this was in regards to being the traditionalist figure. Empress Wu Zetian was, of course, greater as a leader, but she would always remain a controversial figure because her actions challenged the patriarchal society.
Empress Ma was commonly nicknamed Ma Bigfoot. Not necessarily meaning she had big feet, but more likely that she did not bind hers (foot binding, for all the cruelty, was for rich ladies who didn't need to do manual work).
She was betrothed to a mid-ranking military commander named Zhu Yuanzhang. Little did she know that his fate would eventually be intertwined with the fate of a nation.
When Zhu Yuanzhang was imprisoned in the army, she secretly smuggled food to feed him. After Zhu Yuanzhang became crowned as Emperor Hongwu, she still occasionally prepared simple meals in their dinner, to advise him to never forget their humble beginnings. When the Emperor wanted to kill the royal teacher Song Lian, she fasted to convince the Emperor to spare him, stating that even a commoner had to show sincere respect to a teacher. Sadly, she died before the Emperor, and even her last words she asked him not to blame or sentence any of her doctors, stating that it was not their fault that they couldn’t cure a person already doomed to pass.
But just considering her biography, one could tell that she remained humble and modest, without overstepping her position. If an Emperor wanted to give significant political power to the Empress or her family, it would be very heavily frowned upon or criticised. There had been times where the Empress’ family had too much power, and caused severe corruption in the government (moreso in earlier Dynasties like Han, Jin and Tang).
What about concubines getting too much power from the Emperor?
If an Empress and her family gaining too much power was criticised, then a royal concubine gaining political power would be considered outright blasphemous. Ancient China often had the social rule that a formal wife should be chosen for both their merit and near-equal social rank to the husband, but a concubine did not. They were often chosen purely for beauty, servitude to their husbands, or even out of love (!).
A royal concubine’s only influence over the Emperor would be to use the Emperor’s love for her, to sway his opinions. And even so, if the Emperor’s decision was found out to be under the influence of a concubine, he would be criticised for being “weak-minded,” “lustful” and “irrational.” Because of these, some of the more power-hungry Emperors would punish his concubine if she dared to speak on political matters. And given that concubines were of lower status, she could receive much harsher punishments, such as banishment to the cold palace. Most concubines would not dare to speak up until they’ve reached significant status within the palace.
There were some ladies who were concubines who rose to power, either by usurping the current Empress (like Empress Wu Zetian), or when their son got chosen to be the new Emperor, they would gain (honourary) Empress status.
Empress Dowager Xiaozhuang was probably the best example for this; she had significant power and influence, but during her time as Empress Dowager (mother) and not royal concubine. While she was not liked by her son Emperor Shunzhi, she was very significant to her grandson Emperor Kangxi. And again, she knew the importance to teach and inspire her heir, not abuse power for herself. After she had died, Emperor Kangxi was able to continue his legacy.
Tomato Gravy
Yield: 8 servings
Ingredients
- 1 1/2 cups tomato juice
- Pinch of baking soda
- 1 teaspoon salt
- 1 tablespoon granulated sugar
- 1 1/2 cups milk
- 3 tablespoons cornstarch
Instructions
- Boil tomato juice.
- Add baking soda, salt and sugar.
- Mix cornstarch and milk together, and pour into tomato mixture. Bring to a boil.
- Serve on scrambled eggs or fried mush.
“My boyfriend called me a 4/10”
Since dating my boyfriend, he kept making side comments about my appearance here and there. Then he compliments his ex every now and then. He says she is pretty or ended up talking about how he fell for her ass. One day I asked him to stop because it was making me self conscious. He never complimented me until I made a comment about it.
It’s been about four months and I told him I don’t have a good feeling about him and his ex and that he makes it seem like he likes her more than me. He finally told me that she is more attractive than me and that I am a 4/10 for him. I even asked how he thought about me, compared to his friend’s girlfriends, and he says they are more attractive than me. He tells me that his ex beauty means nothing to him. Then he turns around and still tries to call me beautiful after telling me was below average in looks. I am ok without being everyone’s cup of tea, but my own boyfriend?
Now I’m always looking in the mirror questioning myself. Everytime we go out I think about how he thinks all the girls are prettier than me. I don’t think I’m ugly and I am also not super attractive, but damn I thought I’d atleast get a 5 from my own boyfriend. What do I do? Do I leave because now I’m too insecure to be with him? Am I wrong? Would you date someone who thinks you are below average look wise?
Your feelings are valid, and your boyfriend’s behavior is utterly despicable.
Rating your girlfriend’s looks on a numeric scale, constantly talking up how hot your ex was, and telling you that his friends’ girlfriends are more attractive than you? No. Just no. This guy has the sensitivity and emotional intelligence of a potato.
You say you don’t think you’re ugly but also not super attractive. But you know what? That’s irrelevant. What matters is that you deserve to be with someone who thinks you are absolutely beautiful and makes you feel that way. Every. Single. Day.
His attempts to call you beautiful now ring completely hollow after he so thoughtlessly shattered your self-esteem. It’s like smashing a vase and then trying to hastily tape it back together. The damage is done.
I would seriously question staying with someone who makes you this insecure, who makes you feel like you don’t measure up, like you’re always being compared to other women and found wanting. That’s not what a loving relationship should do to you. It should build you up, not tear you down.
Leaving him over this would be completely justified in my opinion. Find someone who will appreciate you for exactly who you are, inside and out. You deserve so much better than to be stuck with a tactless, insensitive, emotionally stunted man-child who probably couldn’t find his own ass with both hands and a map.
Vintage Illustration
Did you change your mind about China after you actually visited the country?
I went to China in 2017 with my family for a holiday. And a lot I had in mind about China was not true.
Language is a major barrier in China. I was totally wrong. Though the majority do not understand English, the younger generation in the metro cities can understand and converse in English pretty well. In Beijing, whenever we were stuck, there was someone to help us out. And those who are into tourism, keep their smartphones in use! Even we used offline Google translate to communicate to people. So language is not at all a barrier.
Chinese only eat non-veg which includes crawling, tiny insects. We carried so many ready to eat thinking we’ll get nothing vegetarian. Again, totally wrong. I feel, Chinese eat the most balanced meals with a healthy mix of veggies, carbs and protein. Had some of the most amazing vegetarian Chinese dishes. All that ready to eat remained untouched.
Chinese are soft, melodious speakers. Till date, I had heard Chinese announcements only in the airports, public places in Singapore and Hongkong. It sounded so melodious. But in reality, Chinese can sound loud. They do make several sounds, even from the epiglottis, making it sound weird.
China is a cheap shopping destination. I was very excited to shop in China. Thought I will buy a cute suitcase and fill it with stuffs. But in reality, the prices in their markets is comparable to that in India. I did not even find that cute suitcase I was looking for! I was particularly looking for a jacket, which I couldn’t find in their local markets. Later after coming back to India, I ordered it online from Aliexpress!
As an Indian, we would not be catching a lot of attention in China. Again, I was proved wrong. Chinese find us exotic. We got a lot of stares in the Beijing metro. Many asked for a selfie. In the summer palace, a group surrounded us and looked with awe!
Found Out
Do you think that for the majority of people in America, they find themselves in difficult positions in life mainly because of the poor decisions they made in their early years?
Everyone makes bad choices at some point in their lives.
The difference between “a mistake that ruined your life” and “a small setback” is gender, race, and wealth.
Consider Brock Allen Turner. He came from a rich family. He was a student at Stanford. He was on the swim team. And on January 18th, 2015, Turner sexually assaulted an unconscious woman behind the dumpster. He was caught red-handed by two other students. Turner was indicted on five charges and found guilty of three felonies.
The prosecutors recommended that Turner be given a six-year prison sentence based on the purposefulness of the action, the effort to hide this activity, and the victim’s intoxicated state. Do you know how long he got? Six months. The judge sentenced Turner to six months in the Santa Clara County Jail, and Turner served three months.
Turner’s father famously said, “His life will never be the one that he dreamed about and worked so hard to achieve. That is a steep price to pay for 20 minutes of action out of his 20-plus years of life."
The Judge himself was a Stanford alumnus and student-athlete like Turner.
What do you think would happen if Turner is black, poor, and went to a community college?
Everyone makes mistakes. Rich people with generational wealth can bounce back from it. Regular people making the same mistake would take them longer to recover and potentially alter their life’s trajectory forever.
The majority of people in the US, especially millennials and Gen Z, find themself unable to afford a house or find a job not because of the poor decisions they made. No. They find themselves in a difficult situation because they don’t have generational wealth to pay for their school, so they have to take on debt before they even enter the workforce. They don’t have a family to gift them a flat in a trendy neighborhood. They have to take the first job offered because, without a job, they don’t have health care. They couldn’t work on their start-up idea because they didn’t have parents who gave them over 300 thousand dollars in investment, nor were their parents friends with the CEO of IBM.
Reagan’s trickle-down economy never trickled down. After corporations discovered stock buy-back, job security was nonexistent. An entry-level job requires a master's degree and five years of experience.
Everyone is created equal; some are more equal than others.
Dating apps are holding on for dear life, and they're failing
Who was the most interesting person you've ever been seated next to on an airplane?
The flight had only one open seat, the flight attendant said, so squeeze in. The middle seat was open between me and what appeared to be a businessman, who was dispassionately reading the newspaper next to the aisle when the announcement was made. He set his newspaper down and turned to me, with a strange grin.
“I bet,” he said, “we can have that empty seat here.”
“Oh?” Naturally I was intrigued.
“Start an argument with me. We can be so unpleasant no one will want to sit here.”
I immediately did, asking how he could dare consider something so selfish. It continued from there, with the two of us quietly snarling at each other and glaring daggers at anyone who looked like they even considered intervening or sitting between us.
The plane continued to fill. We ended up at some point reciting the Monty Python argument skit from somewhere in the middle, so we never ran out of material. Any topic we could think of, we argued about. Seats around us vanished. People hastily stood to let people slide in.
He never had to. The last person finally was seated, leaving the space between us open.
Immediately, his face switched from outrage to smug satisfaction and he extended his hand to me.
“Thank you, that was fun. I'd love to do that again sometime.”
Then he picked up his newspaper, shook it open, and continued to read. We said nothing else the rest of the flight.
I think about that guy every time I’m sitting next to strangers.
Has a child ever done something that really surprised you?
Almost a year back, I went to Apple Store along with my father and my younger sister to get iPhone for my father. We bought the phone and were waiting for its installation. There weren’t much people in the store and we were simply looking around the other products.
In the middle of the silence, where everyone was heeding their own business, a 13 year old Boy walked in store ( I am assuming his age ). He was wearing a basic t- shirt, jeans, had specs. He also had school bag on his back. He walked straight towards the billing counter and said something to the person standing. Everyone looked at him. We all were wondering and guessing the possible reasons for him to be there. One of the store attendants brought the unit he asked for. He came to buy Smart Watch worth 90k INR. He was clear what he wanted and did not waste much time to decide.
Store manager asked him how is going to pay, to which he took the money out of his back and handed over all the cash to him. He did not bother to count and gave all the amount he had. He took the watch and left without taking the left over cash. The manger stoped him, gave the remaining amount and finally asked for whom he is buying. “Papa”he said and left.
Everyone in the store was equally perplexed and surprised.
I questioned Manger that why did he let him buy, he should have cross checked with his father. I get to learn that it is Apple policy not to question anything to the customer.
How do I stop an elderly neighbor for asking me to do everything for her?
Just say no as Nancy Reagan said.
I have an elderly friend who I helped out with certain things including tech support. She was quite rude about it sometimes if she couldn’t get a hold of me right away. I let it slide as I thought we were friends and had a friendship worth saving.
Then all of a sudden she had terrible breathing issues that came out of nowhere. She was hospitalized as she needed oxygen and many tests including a colonoscopy. I was devoted to this woman and spent more time than I should have visiting and bringing her things from home.
I did her laundry and spent hours cleaning her apartment as I didn’t want her to come home to a messy apartment.
I mentioned a colonoscopy as the purgative gave her sudden diarrhea and a soiled her pajamas. She shouted at me to go to the bathroom and rinse them out. I did this disgusting thing that even a nurse wouldn’t have done. By this time I was getting burnt out as I am in my sixties and am disabled myself.
For the sake of myself I started to say NO and I was rewarded with a rude awakening. She was so awful to me as she was very entitled and didn’t like being told no.
Once she was discharged I expected a call thanking me for cleaning her apartment in addition to everything else I did. I received no call for a week then an email ordering me up to her apartment to help her with things.
I have since ghosted her after sending a long email on her bad behaviour. She is housebound now with at home oxygen but she no longer has a slave ( me) so don’t know don’t care.
She would still have my friendship and help if she had just learned how to say thank you.
What's the buying experience like when purchasing a high end luxury car like Ferrari, Lamborghini, Bentley, Rolls Royce, etc?
I recently purchased my first Bentley… woohoo.
I wanted to try pre-owned first to make sure I liked it. This one cost me 1/3 the price of a new one, but it’s also eight years old with 28,000 miles. The car looks new and drives like it’s new.
My experience was likely different than most as I didn’t purchase new. I had been looking off and on for about two years. I finally found exactly what I wanted and then nearly decided not to buy it.
Financially, it’s a horrible purchase… most vehicles are. I still wanted to own one, so I decided to go with this one. It was loaded. It’s a 2016 Continental GT Speed. It’s a little different than most Bentley’s, in that its exterior color is kind of in your face, while most Bentley colors are more subtle.
I found it online. Emailed the dealer to discuss it. Worked on the price a little bit. Agreed to purchase as long as they would ship it in an enclosed trailer.
I had never even sat in a Bentley before.
I love the way it drives. My wife doesn’t care about cars at all, and she mentioned how nice, how comfortable, and quiet it is. She asked just yesterday, “you’re going to buy a new one before long aren’t you?” Not because she wants a new one, but because she knows I like to test things before I fully commit.
It seems to be a good car, and one that I’m going to enjoy driving for a year or so before I trade it in for a new one.
I ordered custom license plates for it. The plates say INVSTED for invested.
If you want to know if purchasing the vehicle was exciting or anything like that: not really. It was kind of like ordering something online from Amazon.
The excitement comes from driving it.
Introducing The Ai Girlfriend/Personal Assistant By ChatGPT 4.O : Say Goodbye To Dating?
Wholly Holy Insane shit!!
My God!
Why were Soviet submarines so much louder than American and British subs?
This statement is true for 1950s and 1960s, but if we talk later…
Just few interesting incidents around this topic.
31 October 1983, Sargasso Sea. Frigate, USS McCloy, equipped specifically to track Soviet submarines, was conducting tests of Towed Array Sonar Surveillance System (TASS). Soviet Project 671RTM submarine K-324 was tasked with trailing American frigate and gathering information about the new detection system. At one point, K-324 got too close to McCloy and hit the towed antenna, as a result, almost 400 meters of it were spun around the K-324s propeller shaft. K-324 lost ability to move and surfaced.
Destroyers USS Peterson and USS Nicholson arrived at the place shortly and started moving between K-324 and McCloy, trying to cut the antenna and prevent Soviets from seizing it. K-324 called for tug and prepared to scuttle in the event if Americans tried to seize the sub. This lasted for 10 days before Soviet tug Aldan arrived and tugged K-324 to Cuba. The trophy antenna cable was removed and sent home for research.
Another example, quite famous. 21 March 1984, project 671 submarine K-314 was tasked with tracking US carrier group based around USS Kitty Hawk in the vicinity of Korean peninsula. After 7 days of going on and off of carrier group tail, K-314 lost the contact and surfaced - right in the middle of carrier group’s order, resulting in collision between K-314 and Kitty Hawk. Neither the sub nor the carrier knew about each other location before the collision.
Soviet naval commission determined that the cause of the collision was an incorrectly selected search depth.
This was due to hydrology: thermocline at that fateful moment passed through a depth of 30 meters. But the crew could not take advantage of this, since all instructions obliged the sub to stay no higher than a safe depth of 50 meters. For this reason, K-314 did not detect the aircraft carrier and came dangerously close. When the BIP (combat information post) reported to the commander the distance to the main target at 60-70 cables (13-15 km), it was actually several times less than 10-15 cables (2-3 km).
The collision, though, was really lucky for both vessels. If K-314 had surfaced 20 seconds earlier, Kitty Hawk would have split it in two. Kitty Hawk, meanwhile, received the blow on the starboard side, right across the aviation fuel tanks and leaked a couple of tonnes of it. The fact that fuel had not ignited was very fortunate for Kitty Hawk.
11 February 1992, north of Murmansk. Los Angeles class submarine USS Baton Rouge was conducting intelligence tasks in the area and playing “cat and mouse” with Russian Project 945 submarine K-276. After various maneuvering, K-276 ended up behind and below Baton Rouge and surfaced right into it, ramming it from below. K-276 was repaired and returned to service, Baton Rouge was scrapped two years later.
For submarines that were supposedly very noisy, snapping the array designing to track submarines, surfacing in the middle of the carrier group and ramming hunter-killer submarine from below are interesting achievements.
For those who wants to comment on recklessness of Soviet sub commanders, quite a lot of collisions were caused by US subs too, like 20 March 1993, 23 May of 1983 or 24 June 1970 collisions, all with Sturgeon class subs on US side
What are some life lessons you have learned that you wouldn't have if you hadn't joined the military?
- Soldiers don’t fight because they hate the enemy. They fight to protect their buddy.
- Racism exists at every level of society.
- Just because you’re on the same team doesn’t mean all the players have your back.
- The government pays way too much money for many substandard products and services.
- There is a large difference between a clean weapon and an armorer approved clean weapon. “Go try again Hill!”
- No one joins the military because they are too stupid for college. I wish this stereotype would hurry up and die already. I served with some of the most brilliant minds of my generation.
- A soldier with a car is a popular soldier.
- Polishing boots is indeed a zen practice.
- Clothes last ten times longer if you dry clean them.
- Take care of home and never air your dirty laundry in public.
- Women play as many games as men do. And they’re often as unfaithful.
- It is possible to run while still drunk from the night before.
- Not all officers are suitable for command.
- There is such as thing as bad NCO’s.
- Technology can cause as many problems as it is supposed to solve.
- It is possible to drive with zero depth perception.
- Loneliness hurts but it won’t kill you.
- It’s not that easy to die.
- Motrin can solve all of your health problems. If not, take some Cepacol.
- Having the right roommate matters a lot.
- The closest distance between two strangers is a hot plate of good chow.
- Stay alert, stay alive. At all times. In this day and age this might just safe your life.
- Misery is always better with company.
- Hospital food is better than army chow hall food.
- Even a grenade launcher can get boring after a few hours.
- Nothing can cheer someone up like news from loved ones at home.
- If you donate plasma beforehand, getting drunk is a lot cheaper.
- Many times in life, we are required to do things that do not make any sense.
- Wet weather gear will often make you wetter than you were before.
- Humvee’s are horrible vehicles. It takes around 3 hours to replace a Humvee turret by yourself on a Friday evening in the motor pool.
- People will abuse the uniform.
- Heat is a killer.
- If your not pissing clear, time to drink water.
- You can save quite a lot of money by cutting your own hair.
- We are all pawns of more powerful people open to the random chances of fate.
An American Reacts to Why America Sucks at Everything - THIS ONE HURT
What did you do first after being released from prison or jail?
Once pass the prison gate in the prison van..went over to the bank to cash the state check and then to the motel that I told DOC that I was going to…waited till the van turned,so that officer couldn't see me leave ..walked over to the state DHS..got my food stamp card..then to Walmart .Got a dome tent and sleeping bag,food, quart of water. fillet knife and a ball of clothes line,a sharpie ,cell phone…once out side , looked in the trash bin and got a cardboard box..walked over to the street that would take me to the interstate..once there, walked over a overhead bridge.. went to sleep in the tent that night ..next morning,walked over the truck stop over the other side.made me a sign on where I was going to…
While I was setting there at the TS..a shoolie came in and 4 guys got out ..we spoke and I asked which way they were going..they was going my way ..I asked if I could join them..so I had a ride . Once there.had them drop me off where I wanted to be..call a person who I could stay with..got my DL , bought a pickup and a on bed camper..lived in it as I started my life outside of prison..
Since I discharged all of my sentences.I could travel and sleep where I wanted to..been out here for 13 years now…had a business that I had till I retired from.. Don't want a place that I have to pay rent on.. upgraded to a shuttle bus now..not bad for a 70 year old guy…
What’s the nastiest move a coworker made to get you or another coworker fired?
I had a lesbian coworker who had the hots for the young executive assistant to the president of the company. She was the cutest girl at work so I flirted with her. I had a hot, sophisticated, rich, brilliant girlfriend so I never asked her out. My girlfriend and I were on a break so I tested the waters on asking the EA out and the lesbian coworker overheard it on a Friday. So she sends me company emails over the weekend telling me all the EA’s flaws. I’m thinking, WTF but I know the lesbian is going to be trouble and save the emails.
Few weeks later, I actually start dating the EA. The lesbian goes to the presidents office in tears making up tales of me menacing her. He tells the VP of engineering to fire me immediately. I get walked out of the building 20 minutes later on a Friday. The head of my project tells the president it’s going to cost millions of dollars if I go so he calls me at home asking me to work at home. I finally get to tell my side of the story and sent him the emails. I get a public apology on Tuesday and back pay. Thank God the b*tch was stupid and used the company email system so I had proof.
Chili Gravy
Ingredients
- 1 1/2 tablespoons butter or beef drippings
- 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
- 1 cup cold water
- Salt, if needed
- 2 to 3 cups meat, cubed or ground
- 1 clove garlic, chopped or crushed
- 1 tablespoon red chili powder
- Hot biscuits
Instructions
- Melt butter or drippings in a cast iron frying pan.
- Add flour and stir until rich brown.
- Slowly stir in cold water and continue to stir as it cooks so it won't get lumpy.
- Taste and add salt, if needed.
- Brown meat with garlic and chili powder in a skillet, then add to the gravy, which should be bubbling. Simmer for a few minutes, then serve over fresh hot biscuits, mashed potatoes, rice, enchiladas or tamales.
American reacts to 'Why America Sucks at Everything'
What are the top ten things I should experience in life?
- Take your family for dinner frequently. There is no time like family time and they appreciate it more than anything. Be there for them when they need you.
- Travel alone, travel with a a group of friends, travel with him/her. Travel anywhere possible and as far as possible. Make spontaneous plans and travel without any arrangements. It’s going to be very hard but you will love the experience.
- Fall in love. It’s a great feeling in the world when you know someone always has your back no matter what. Remember, with love comes heartbreaks too but don’t worry because time almost heals everything.
- Find some mentor for yourself and when you feel ready, mentor someone. This will change someone else’s life and it’s an amazing feeling.
- Work for someone else, work for yourself or anything that you want to do but make sure to make money. Money can’t buy happiness but it surely does make your life luxurious.
- Try new looks and change the way you dress up once in a while. This will make you feel fresh and confident too.
- Learn how to ride, drive, swim and as many languages as possible. Also stay updated with new technology. They make your life easier.
- Wash you car, list the best songs that you always listen to and go for a long drive alone. Sing the song when you are in the car and forget everything. You will feel that life is better than you actually think. You can do it with friends too but the experience will be a little different.
- Forgive someone. It’s not for them but for yourself. Don’t keep on holding to something someone has done to you. Just let it go and give yourself a fresh start. Trust me, you will feel amazing.
- Get married. Start a family and make them happy. I haven’t done this yet but I am sure this is going to be one hell of a experience in life.
Have you ever put a hidden camera in your own bedroom?
Actually I have, though in the end I wound up not needing it. Let me explain…
Several years ago I lived in an apartment that had been carved out of the basement of a raised ranch house located in a beautiful part of Oakland, CA. The setup was such that I’d enter the apartment through the attached garage and the owner, who lived upstairs in the main living area of the house, would only enter the garage to do laundry and would do so using the same exterior door that I used to enter my apartment through the garage.
You can see where this is headed.
After having lived there for about a year, I started to find small things in my living space that had been moved, or a leaf on the floor that I knew hadn’t been there when I’d left the house in the morning. I owned a cat through so for awhile I just assumed he had been moving these things around, but for some reason (maybe the locations where the items were found?) I couldn’t shake the feeling that the landlord was cutting through my place to get to the garage. I set up a camera mostly just to prove to myself that I was being paranoid.
Well, it turns out I wasn’t being paranoid at all. I just didn’t wind up needing the camera to find out. One morning while I was sleeping in after a fun night on the town, I woke up hearing the sound of someone talking to my cat. WTH? I groggily look over and there coming down the stairs in his underwear and carrying a basket of dirty clothes was my landlord. He looked over said good morning and tried to keep on his way. Some choice words were spoken, a new lock added to the door that he used for access, and a rather confusing video was captured of me lecturing a half naked man about privacy that day.
I’m very glad not to be renting like that any more.
In elementary school, what was the funniest reason you got called to the principal's office?
I was in the first grade and the public school I attended was having a canned food drive for Thanksgiving. My teacher picked me to go to the Principal's Office to appear in a news photo of several students sorting through the baskets.
I was a shy, six year- old kid with little school experience, so my teacher walked me to the office to await my journalistic debut. The office was bustling with activity that morning and a secretary told me to have a seat. She pointed to a bench where some “big” boys were sitting and horsing around. My teacher had left and there I was sitting with these sixth grade kids.
I was terrified when this large man in a suit stepped from an adjoining room and in a deep, angry and booming voice said “Get in my office now!” He gestured at the group I was sitting with on the bench.
I followed those sixth- graders into his office and sat quietly in a corner chair. He started hollering at us at the top of his lungs, pointing at the biggest kid and saying he ought to suspend all of us for what we'd done.
He ordered us all back to class but not before the biggest kid had his behind paddled with a wooden board. By this time, I was terrified and balling my eyes out. I found my way back to class and knocked on the closed door. My teacher opened it, took one look at me and realized something was clearly wrong. There I was, my shirt soaked from crying, my face contorted from sheer terror, and my eyes no longer those of an innocent boy.
She asked what had happened and when I couldn't get the words out without blubbering, she grabbed my hand and off we marched…back to that terrible place where kids were being tortured.
Upon arrival, I noticed the mean man, the secretary and my teacher huddled and whispering in the room where I'd just been traumatized. They pointed at me and I couldn't believe my eyes. They started laughing.
“You poor little boy,” my teacher said as she wiped my forehead. The mean man explained he was the principal and those boys were in the office for being bad. I wasn't supposed to be with them, he apologetic ally said.
There were some other kids watching me at this point and the secretary said I was to go with them to have our picture taken. There was a man with a big camera with them so I fell in line and we went outside. When he took the picture for the paper, he told us all to smile.
That Sunday, after the paperboy delivered our newspaper, my mom and dad flipped the pages and proudly eyed the picture of their young son. I had already told them what happened that day, so when my mother, with a straight face, asked why I wasn't smiling like the other children, we all had a good laugh.
Confident Man Humbles Woman After Forcing Him to Do This On Date
What’s it like going back to a “normal life” after a long prison sentence?
I’d served 16 yrs and 4 months when I was released on parole. I was fortunate that my partner (who I married 6 mths after my release) had stood by me throughout my sentence (our son was just over 1 yr of age at that time and prison was much different then). Visits were 20 minutes a month (behind wire) You could write 1 letter a week and receive 2 (which were heavily censored with blackout) There were no gangs, no drugs, no buy ups (Comms),no sports, no weights -each wing had it's own yard. You were let out 1 hour in the morning and 45 minutes in the afternoon.
The prison officers totally controlled the prison with violence and threats of violence- you lived your life one day at a time doing the best you could to get through another day in a place where it was anything but normal. You become grateful to be locked in to your cell for the night. About 9 months before I was released, they converted a wing into a Special Care Unit for inmates who had served 10 yrs or more to help prepare them for life after prison. I applied to participate in the program and was 1 of 14 other inmates who were successful in the first intake. I was always grateful to be given the opportunity to be in that unit. It made me realize I was so out of touch to what I had perceived life back into society would be-like comparing chalk to cheese.
My partner was encouraged to participate in the program and speak about how life was for her dealing with my incarceration. I'd believed because she was in the free world that she was going okay- that couldn't have been further from the truth. Her struggles far outweighed anything prison threw at me. I had about 3 months to go before I could apply for parole. Every thing was moving along okay but for some reason the psychologist and I had communication problems from the get go because he felt that I wasn't taking the program serious enough and could make a better effort. To be honest, I had no idea what he was going on about but I was very aware that his report could stop my getting parole so I took the attitude from then on to agree with everything he said to me. The last night in prison, I couldn't sleep. I had my civilian clothes in the cell with me so I got changed early (at dawn) when they let me out for breakfast.
I had been granted an early release so at 8 am, as I walked to the main gate, I became totally overwhelmed that I was finally going home. When I got to the gate, my partner and son were there I just held them for what seemed like an eternity- it was incredibly surreal. I wanted to get off the prison property as quick as I could. I was incredibly nervous and just wanted us to get home. When we got home and we walked in, that was when it really hit me- I wasn't in prison anymore and I emotionally lost control. The truth is; I had no right to have my partner and son be here for me and support me for over 16 yrs but here they were… so excited to have me home. We didn't talk about prison. I had lots of questions though about how much things had changed whilst I'd been in prison. That afternoon, my son's girlfriend turned up. I was incredibly nervous meeting her but she was great which made me comfortable after that.That night was the first time my partner Dorothy and I made love in nearly 17 yrs- it was a beautiful night. Though I had a terrible time trying to go too sleep so I went into the lounge room and put the television on. Not long after, my partner came out and I told her I couldn't sleep so she snuggled up and we watched movies together. In the morning, my partner was taking me into Sydney for the day. When we got on the bus about half way to Sydney the bus was full and I felt like I was choking and badly closed in. I told Dorothy we had to get off because I was sweating so bad. When we got off, I told her how I felt and we caught a cab the rest of the way. When we got into Sydney I couldn't believe how much had changed- the amount of people and traffic was bewildering. I wouldn't let go of Dorothy's hand.
We went into a cafe for breakfast and coffee I was totally taken aback by the prices of everything. People's dress sense was totally foreign to me as because when I went off to prison, it was the rock and roll and hippy era. It was all so very different. We went into a major store in Sydney called David Jones- we weren't in there long when I had a shocking panic attack. I told Dorothy I had to get out of there as I honestly thought I was going to collapse and have a heart attack. It was terrifying. It was a long time before I went into a major shopping center where there were so many people for quite a while. Prior to going to prison, I was starting my final year in nursing and unlike today, 80 percent of it is done in University & 20 percent in a hospital setting. Back in my day, all training was done hands on in a hospital. I applied to finish my nursing career which was accepted. So much had changed, wages had dramatically increased. In the early days of my release, we didn't venture far from home as my confidence level was low out in public. My partner was so understanding of how much I was struggling to integrate back into society and function normally. Everyday was a better day. 6 months after I was released, she & I married and made plans for the future. We both wanted to travel around Australia but one of my parole conditions prohibited me from travelling interstate for 2 yrs so when we had weekends off, we would go camping as much as we could. Our son and his partner were due to have their first child. They lived in a unit not far from us.
After 2 years of Dorothy and I working, we’d saved enough for a deposit for our first home for us- that was a huge step in going forward. One of the biggest, if not the biggest hurdle facing me, was at work where I kept all conversation as much as possible to hello and goodbye. I avoided having my lunch or dinner breaks with other staff so I wouldn't be asked any questions about where I worked before. It wasn't like I could say, “I've just come out of prison after serving 16 yrs for armed robbery.” It was a terrible fear; a do or die situation where you don't want to lie but it was a case of self preservation. On several occasions, I was put into that situation where I had to reply to where did I’d worked before. It was a normal question to be asked and I replied I worked interstate or in a country town (one I knew enough about in case I was asked questions about that town). That wasn't easy- having to lie about your past but I had no choice as I wasn't going to declare my hand and go backwards. Before I went to prison, my wife and I loved going dancing (particularly rock and roll) but one of my parole restrictions was I couldn't go onto licensed premises even though I didn't have a problem with alcohol. I found the most consistent problem I faced was being with/around people, so after work, I would go straight home. I avoided making friends at all costs. At home it took me a long time to get used to turning the light off. I was forever doing things in the garden or in the house. I was fastidious about keeping everything clean. I was also constantly washing my hands.
As time went on, my son and his now wife had another child which I doted over- they and my wife were everything to me. I told my son, Adam, how sorry I was not to have been there as a father for him. I can honestly say never once did he blame me for anything; he was just happy I was finally home. I had just finished my parole licence after 5 yrs when I was at work one day at the hospital and my son unexpectedly turned up. He was in a terrible state. I asked him to calm down and tell me what was wrong. He told me that Dorothy had had a heart attack at work and they couldn't revive her. My world just crashed-everything meant nothing in a blink. For my son’s sake, I was trying hard to keep my emotions together. I told him to go home while my wife was brought to the hospital where I worked. I asked my superior if I could go see her. Unfortunately, when I got to the morgue and saw her, it was total devastation. I got angry and kept asking her how could you do this to us. I begged her to wake up. I couldn't let go of her. I can't even remotely explain how I felt- the loneliness and emptiness physically hurt. My tears were uncontrollable and I was inconsolable. After about an hour, I left and went home. My son and his wife and grandchildren turned up. Very few words were spoken though we talked about the funeral. It was the most dreadful time. The next day, I resigned from my job and after the funeral, I told my son I needed to go away for awhile. I went on geographicals for nearly a year. I just could not come to terms with my wife dying. When I finally did get home (much to the relief of my son), he said to me “Dad you have to let go, this isn't how mum would want you to be”. I didn't get grief counselling, I just threw myself into my work and my grandchildren. I also bought a motor home and on my holidays I would go to the places she & I were going to go to together. Eventually, I paid the house off. As far as meeting another woman was concerned that was not going to happen anytime soon. Eventually, I put prison life completely behind me and became just another normal member of society. I've been out of prison 34 years now. And, a few years ago, I met a nice lady. We are close friends and keep it just as friends only because my one and only love was Dorothy and that's how it will always be.
Is it true that the Chinese government is forcing Uighurs to work in other parts of China far from their homeland? What are your thoughts on this issue?
I am a Muslim from China, and my English is not very good, so I partially used translation software to complete this answer. My friend's wife works in an elementary school. We often get together, eat, and chat. Once, she talked about having two special children in her class. One is a child from the UK (his parents work at a local foreign enterprise), and the other is a child from Xinjiang (her parents are from Xinjiang and run a restaurant in our city). The British child left our city when he reached the fourth grade to follow his parents to another branch of the British company in China, but that is not the focus of this text. I'll talk about what I heard about the girl from Xinjiang.
The girl is Uyghur and came here in the first grade, barely speaking Mandarin. My friend's wife (who manages the class and also teaches math) was worried this would affect the girl's mood, so she arranged for two Han Chinese girls to be her "Mandarin teachers." By the time my friend's wife talked about her, she was already in the fourth grade, and her Mandarin level was indistinguishable from local children. This girl had clearly integrated into the group.
Since she initially couldn't speak Mandarin, she encountered difficulties in her studies. My friend's wife patiently tutored her. She said that the Uyghur girl made the fastest progress in math. This was not only because she was the math teacher but also because math is a way of thinking, not a language. So, the girl quickly earned an "A" in math. Because of her poor Mandarin, the Chinese language teacher did not impose high requirements on her grades, as long as she listened attentively and completed her assignments as best as she could, she could pass.
My friend's wife told me that the girl's family is devoutly Muslim and explained a lot to her. Sometimes, during Muslim festivals, the girl would bring traditional foods from home to give to her teachers.
This Uyghur girl looks very different from Han Chinese (from a Chinese perspective, she looks more like a European Caucasian). She is very beautiful. Therefore, some boys in the class liked her very much.
As her Mandarin improved and her relationships with her classmates grew stronger, this girl often invited classmates to her parents' restaurant to do homework together after school. Sometimes, when it was evening and there were still children who hadn't left the restaurant, the Uyghur girl's parents would invite them to stay and have a free dinner at the restaurant until their parents picked them up.
The above is what I heard about the daily life of an ordinary Uyghur girl in an eastern province of China. It seems mundane, and as I write this answer, I also think it is an unremarkable story. However, I want to remind you that in recent years, many people from Xinjiang have come to big cities in China to seek fortune. Running restaurants is their most common business.
In 2019, a friend invited me to a Xinjiang restaurant in my city (he knew I am Muslim and have dietary restrictions). There, I saw many locals. Xinjiang restaurant owners often package their restaurants with a "Western Frontier" theme, adding a sense of mystery that attracts people to try the food. Unfortunately, I couldn't get used to Xinjiang Muslim food.
Another business for Xinjiang people is selling jade. In China, jade is considered a precious gemstone, and the Hetian region of Xinjiang is a major source of this gem. Every time I go to the largest antique market in my city, I encounter some Xinjiang people selling these stones. I see them chatting, smoking, arguing with Han Chinese, and, when happy, singing Uyghur songs that others don't understand.
I think that anyone forcibly displaced from their homeland would not be happy. They must be filled with hatred and complaints in their hearts. And the most direct target of their hatred would be the Han Chinese areas and people under the rule of the Chinese Communist Party (many Han Chinese are even atheists or non-believers). And as the target of hatred, Han Chinese would certainly be full of vigilance and the same hatred towards them. Right?
But what do you feel in my mundane words above?
- A Han Chinese elementary school teacher was afraid an Uyghur child would feel lonely and helped her find friends;
- A Han Chinese language teacher gave special care to the Uyghur girl, encouraging her to learn Mandarin well;
- The Uyghur girl gradually made Han Chinese friends on campus;
- A group of Han Chinese boys liked the Uyghur girl;
- A group of Han Chinese children freely came and went to the Uyghur family's restaurant, and the Han Chinese children's parents never worried about any "potential danger";
- The Uyghur restaurant owner often kept Han Chinese children and provided them with free dinners (although most of the time it was simple meals like noodles, dumplings, and naan);
- Some Uyghurs have gained wealth here;
- Many Han Chinese were attracted by the "Western Frontier" gimmick and went to Uyghur-owned restaurants to eat;
How can anyone infer from the above facts that "Uyghurs are forcibly displaced and persecuted"? Just as those who do bad things always leave traces, if there were persecution, there would certainly be resistance. Even if one person is persecuted, they would have parents, children, friends, and relatives who would all hate the persecutors.
If the Uyghur restaurant owner in the text was persecuted, why wouldn't he tell his daughter about this hatred? Some might say, "The CCP is too scary; they don't dare." But at the very least, they would teach their daughter to stay away from Han Chinese, right? There's no need to frequently invite Han Chinese children to eat, right? Hearing that some boys who persecute their religion like his daughter, could there be anything worse than this?
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