People can be crude. People can be rude. And certain people can be childish assholes. We all know this.
When I was unemployed, I managed to find work as a french fry flipper at a fast food restaurant. And so I endured this low pay, thankless job.
But… as a man, you do what you need to do.
Anyways there was this cashier that had a fun time making my life Hell. You see, every time someone places an order of French fries, she was to yell it out. But for fun, and being a real asshole, she called for fries at every order, and I, dutifully doing my job, would make them.
The situation arose that only two fries (boxes) were ordered, but I had made 64 boxes.
Got me in trouble, and I got my pay docked because of that.
Oh yeah…
I wizened up over that, and and other stories ensued. But the point that I am making here is that if you have a co-worker doing this kind of shit, can you image what they would do later on when they are better experienced and more capable.
Be careful out there everyone…
Don’t get fried.
Today…
My coworker decided to quit as soon as I became his boss. But I want him to stay. What should I do?
Replace him.
I spent over 30 years as head of the HR function at two very successful biopharma companies and as a co-founder of a SaaS company.
After I’d had enough experience to form an opinion, I went on a campaign to get a consensus from the SVP of administration and the CEO of the S&P 500 company where I spent most of my career: we accept all resignations.
Some of the reasons:
- Countering a departing employee is news that gets around and becomes assimilated into the culture. Far better to pay at your intended percentile range in the market (25th-50th? 50th-75th?) and let people leave. It avoids creating an incentive for people to resign as a form of manufactured crisis where the company is known to cave.
- Managers need to know how to replace a person quickly and effectively or to redistribute and redesign the work pattern to reduce the criticality of that person. They shouldn’t allow operations to become too dependent on a single, critical employee without knowing what to do if that employee resigns.
- People at work sometimes act like the “Meister” system of guildsmen of the Middle Ages, who literally covered their workbenches at night with cabinetry designed to conceal how they did things. Even the great Mercedes-Benz suffered from this problem. They didn’t know it or face it until they got massive competition from good-enough luxo cars from Japan in the ’90s. In response, M-B had to understand its operations in a different way. They discovered that 60% (!) of cars on their assembly lines went backward for reworks. It was costing them a ton. All a meister at the end of the line had to do was say “send it back and repaint the hood.” Didn’t have to explain why. That was evidence that M-B didn’t really understand or own its standards and criteria. Some mis-motivated employees had created fiefdoms where secrets were power.
You’re a new boss. This all may be just an organizational theory to you. Explain to your boss that you don’t think it’s good for the company or the operations to allow this person to be treated as indispensable. Ask for your manager’s participation in the response. Then, accept the resignation. You may respond with a part-for-part replacement or you may reorganize the work at that person’s workstation. It may be some combination.
Whatever it is, by the time you solve the problem you will understand that job a hell of a lot better than you ever did before. You won’t be as paralyzed when the next person decides to resign. And, you’ll probably be motivated to understand and better document your work processes.
What are the benefits and drawbacks of the military-industrial complex?
It benefits some 0.01% of America and hurt 99.99% of Americans. But unfortunately the 0.01% owns America!
They choose the candidates for you 99.99% of Americans to pick! Heads they win, tails they don’t lose! When you have a good President like Kennedy the 0.01% Will assassinate him!
How can spending more on military than the next 20 nations be good for the U.S.? How can you sell this to the 1 million homeless in the U.S. or the 35% of Americans who will die of illness because the cannot afford health insurance?
China DESTROY Europe BRANDY And WINE In Retaliation Sanction
What’s a red flag that you ignored in a significant other, only to realize it was a big deal later?
For me I was getting to know a woman who treated me incredibly, she was beautiful, a great listener who would ask me lots of questions. She was sexy and great around other people and all my friends loved her. The problem was she had no other friends. She would talk about a friend here and there but I never met any of this people and she was never doing anything social outside our relationship. Basically every decision (what movie we went to, what restaurant we eat at came down to what I decide. It concerned me of course but she was naturally submissive and the dating world was so awful that it was easy to just ignore it. BTW she was one of the smartest person I had ever met.
We moved in with each other and slowly things started to unravel. Took a couple years for me to figure out she suffered from something that I knew nothing about. She suffered from Borderline Personality Disorder. It was a nightmare getting out of it.
What’s a seemingly simple task that is the bane of your existence?
I hate talking on the phone so much.
Ironically, phones are no longer for talking for me. That’s the last thing I want to do on them.
It’s amazing that so many people (cough*women*cough) can talk for hours and hours on the phone.
I try to call my parents once a week at least. We talk for 10-20 minutes typically. That’s about the extent of my calling.
I had a girlfriend who literally talked for 2-3 hours on the phone every single day.
And unfortunately, if her roster of friends were unavailable, I’d be the recipient of those hours of talkage.
I’d sit at my computer on auto-pilot, “Uho….oh wow….that’s crazy.”, as she told me this long story about the bad customer service experience she had that was basically her fault to begin with.
I’d install a new solid state drive in my computer as she debated out loud with herself about the proper wedding present for wedding #400 that year.
I remember lying on my bed, putting the phone on speaker mode and setting it on my chest.
I’d stare at the ceiling and wonder weird things, like if there was another duplicate galaxy out there, with a sun, an earth, a moon, and a Sean lying on a bed at that exact same moment, with a girlfriend telling him a longwinded story about how a girl named Becky said “Hi” in this really rude way the day before.
Two rude Beckies.
Man.
Hopefully, she never reads this.
What will happen if DPP wins in the Taiwan Presidential Election 2024? Will China then invade?
Luckily the Middle East Conflict has caused a major change in plans for the West for at least another year
The Plan was to bleed out Russia, weaken Russia & focus on Taiwan by 2024 May or June and push China into an aggressive action
Instead Russia is now stronger than ever and Putin isn’t going anywhere so Ukraine has been abandoned and will be fully abandoned in the next few months after a last aid package of maybe $ 30 Billion being approved after a lot of arm twisting
Yet the Middle East will be a considerable strain for the US whose production is by no means what it used to be
It would be a weakened US who would be facing China
Now Taiwanese aren’t Ukranians
No way will they choose to die stupidly
No way will they sacrifice their own lives
Same with the Japanese
So Taiwan WILL EXPECT the UNITED STATES TO DIRECTLY FIGHT CHINA. It means US Troops and US Body bags
That will be WORLD WAR III and both have NUKES
Hard to believe Trump or the Pentagon would prefer a World War with China
Trump wants to return US to it’s former greatness
A Possible Nuclear war would be the worst outcome for such a vision
If Trump can be assured that US will remain Number 1 for his term and possibly a decade or so after , if US can reduce its debt, China supports the US in restructuring Debt and reduce the deficit
HE MAY ACTUALLY ALLOW CHINA TO INVADE TAIWAN OR OPENLY DECLARE THAT IF TAIWAN DOESN’T RESPECT STATUS QUO, THEN US WONT INTERFERE IF CHINA RETALIATES
So a very interesting development awaits us all.
As a dying person, what is your advice to the living?
Do everything you want to do. Don’t take the little things for granted. Life is short…
I was diagnosed with muscular dystrophy at age 15.
Since I have done everything I wanted to do.
I’ve traveled the country, and I even rode my last roller coaster ride about 12 years ago.
Now, I am incredibly weak. I cannot talk very well, my voice is hoarse, raspy, and down to a whisper. I have to take breaths in between every three or so words.
I can’t walk more than a few steps.I have a wheelchair now.
I’m constantly tired by noon.
Even eating is a challenge. A simple slice of pizza takes about 30–45 mins to eat.
I’ve been cheated out of a normal life, and it hurts.
Live your life to the fullest. It’s the little things in life that make it so much better…don’t take it for granted
I am now 31 and have, at most, 1 more year left to live.
Written by my brother
Chicken Paprikash
Ingredients
Chicken
- 2 whole fryer chickens, cut up
- 1 medium onion, diced
- Sweet Hungarian paprika
- Vegetable oil
- 8 to 12 ounces sour cream
- 2 cans chicken broth
Spaetzle (Sinkers)
- 3 to 4 cups all-purpose flour
- 6 to 8 eggs
- Pinch of salt
- Water, if necessary
Instructions
- Chicken: Sauté onion in about 1/3 cup vegetable oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Add 1/3 cup of paprika, being careful not to let it burn.
- Place chicken in skillet to fry, dusting one side again with paprika. Brown about 6 to 8 minutes, turning occasionally. Take chicken out and place in roasting pan.
- Add chicken broth until it covers chicken. Cover the pan and bake at 375 degrees F for about 2 hours or until the chicken is tender.
- Remove chicken from roaster. Cover and set aside. Put roaster on top of stove and bring remaining contents to a slow boil.
- Gravy: Mix sour cream into some of the hot broth from roaster, whisking until smooth. Add back into roaster with boiling broth.
- Pre-mix flour, water and salt. Whisk until smooth. Gravy should have a nice salmon color. Add more paprika if desired.
- Spaetzle: Mix ingredients in a bowl. Dust hands and mix with flour. Knead into a ball. Flatten to about 1/8 inch thick.
- Boil chicken broth in a pot. Keeping a spoon wet, section off pieces of spaetzle dough. Cook in the broth for about 3 to 6 minutes.
- Place chicken and spaetzle on a plate and cover with gravy.
What was the most unexpected knock you got on your door?
When I lived in what was considered a bad neighborhood in Salem MA (I didn’t think it was that bad, but it was cheap for Massachusetts) four boys moved upstairs from us the week after we got there.
Long story short, they were meth dealers (but not manufacturers, thank God!), and every weekend they threw open parties to get more business.
Idiots.
This lasted about six weeks before the Salem Police took them in, and we never saw them again. Hey, paperwork takes time. 😉 To be honest, it probably was quicker because all three were on probation.
Idiots.
So about a month after they went to jail (one went to custody of his mom), we got a ring on the bell. It was a large, muscular, threatening looking middle aged dude. He asked me what I knew about the boys, and I told him they’d gone to jail a month ago, and the place was looking for new tenants.
He narrowed his eyes. “You wouldn’t lie to me? People aren’t happy if they lie to me.”
I assured him I wasn’t lying, and their arrests had been in the newspaper, and were public record.
So he leans in, towering over me, and says, “You tell those punks they owe me $35K, and if they don’t cough it up, doesn’t matter where they are hiding. You got that?”
Looking up, I smiled and told him I didn’t expect or hope to see them again, but if by chance I did, I’d tell them.
I saw him get into his shiny black SUV, noted the plate, and went back inside.
Called the police desk and told them the story and the plate.
Never saw any of them again.
The price of success
What is the biggest turn-off you’ve ever had on a date?
“Oh, can you get that for me?” he asked, tilting his head towards me and pointing to the cup on his dresser.
I nodded politely, and stood up to get it for him. As I made my way to his dresser, I noticed the piles of clothes he had lying around on the floor, crumpled and dirty. I don’t care about that I tried to convince myself as I handed him the cup of tea and sat back down.
This was our first date and we had begun to talk about life and our more personal beliefs. And when I say “we”, I actually mean him. For the next three hours, I had a total of about two minutes to share anything about myself.
I asked a lot of questions, sure, but every time I offered any input, I would be cut off immediately by another long-winded 18 minute story about his life. Again, and again.
And after about two hours, I decided to get up to go to the bathroom to compose myself and think about an exit strategy. So I got up and entered the bathroom in his apartment only to find… nothing.
Nothing.
Not a single bar of soap, not a toothbrush, not a towel. And worse.. not even toilet paper.
It was as if I had walked into a showing for a new apartment. I tried to look frantically in the drawers for something, but I found nada.
I was beyond shocked, especially because he had gone to the bathroom earlier for more than just a quick look in the mirror.
So if the two hours of lecturing from him was not enough, the bathroom was the signifying factor for me that I had to leave.
The capital of Georgia
Would an untrained dog protect its owner?
This is Ivan, my Great Pyrenees.
This is pretty much how he spends 23 hours every day. And he is for the most part untrainable. He is both incredibly lazy and incredibly stubborn and is not motivated by anything. Not praise, not treats, nothing.
One day last week, we were going for our daily walk. We usually walk around 1–1/2 to 2–1/2 miles every day, depending on the weather. We had only gotten a block from the house when two pitbulls that I had never seen before came charging at us. The fist one to get to us immediately tried to bite Ivan but just got a mouthful of hair.
I took a step back and made sure Ivan had enough slack in his leash so that he could do whatever it was he needed to do to defend both himself and I. I don’t think it took Ivan 5 seconds to send both of those pitbulls running for the hills. The noises he made sounded as if a demon had been unleashed.
And then we continued on our walk. And once we got home, he resumed his usual position, curled up on the couch.
Great Pyrenees dogs have been bred to be guardians. No training required. It’s just in his blood.
What is the most shocking diagnosis you have received after going to the doctor for a routine checkup?
Spring of 2012, I was 56, and I had completed my bloodwork in preparation for my annual physical. My GP called me and said, I need you to redo your bloodwork. I went to see the vampires again and gave another sample. Two days later during my physical, the GP tells me, “Your platelet count is really high, 1.6million per microliter”. (Normal is 150k to 450k) “l want you to go see this blood specialist”. The previous year, my platelet count was normal.
Ten days later I am sitting with the Blood Swami who tells me, “Dave, you are a walking potential blood clot just waiting to have a stroke or heart attack. You have a condition known as essential thrombocytosis and I am prescribing hydroxyurea to treat it. This is a pretty strong chemotherapy drug, and there is a risk that you could develop leukemia in 20 years. If you do nothing, you could throw a blood clot causing a stroke or heart attack at any time. I am also going to order a bone marrow biopsy from your hip to rule out cancer, which can cause platelet production to spike.”
Post bone marrow biopsy, which by the way, was excruciating, it turned out I had a genetic mutation which resulted in runaway platelet production. 11 and a half years later I am still on the drug, my blood guy and see each other quarterly, and although there has been some yo-yoing of my platelet count, we are keeping the count pretty much under control, and knock wood, no signs of leukemia.
Side note: when I was diagnosed, my mom told me she had developed essential thrombocytosis a year earlier, and her doctor did not order a bone marrow biopsy. Two months after my diagnosis, she was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer and was dead in 3 months. I have always wondered if she had had a bone marrow biopsy when she was diagnosed, would they have caught the lung cancer when it was more treatable.
Glitches In The Matrix – Complete Edition
What could you teach someone in 5 minutes that would benefit them for the rest of their life?
The commonest complaint with which people consult a cardiologist is chest pain. People believe, and rightly so, that chest pain is the classical hallmark that the heart may be in trouble. But fortunately, most chest pains are not cardiac.
–
The following ones makes us yawn.
‘Pain Right at this point.’
‘Pinprick type pain.’
‘Pain shifts here and there.’
‘Pain lasts for few seconds.
‘Feels like an electric shock’
‘Pains as I touch here’
All these have a low likelihood of being cardiac pain.
I examine them, ask for an ECG etc etc – all routine.
And most often they turn out to be normal.
–
The following gives us nightmares.
The phone rings.
‘Can I talk to the doctor?’
‘Yes please’
‘Doctor, I have some kind of discomfort of my lower jaw, I had a ECG done and it was normal. Just wanted to…..’
‘Tell me that again. Jaw pain? I need you to come down to the hospital ASAP’
–
ECG of someone who had a little jaw pain.
Here is his ECG
ECG (the last 3 leads) shows runs of VT (very fast heart rate). Precursor of a cardiac arrest.
–
Coronary Angiogram
Critical narrowing of a heart artery (Left Anterior Descending Artery)
–
A pain, ache or discomfort of the lower Jaw, or a discomfort radiating (spreading) from chest, neck to the lower jaw is highly likely of cardiac origin.
A chest pain can happen because of muscle pain, cartilage inflammation, and many such minor stuff but a jaw pain, though a lesser known and an uncommon manifestation of cardiac disease, if present, strongly indicates that the heart may be in trouble.
–
5-Minute-Teach
If you have a aching pain or unexplained discomfort of your lower jaw, go to your cardiologist and not to your dentist.
What is the boldest thing you’ve said to your boss or a coworker knowing that you might get fired afterwards?
Well I think I am eligible to answer this.
I was working in a Bangalore in one US based company.
I had team of 2 which I was leading and was working on Automation and I was the one who started this work.
Work was going fine and things were happening on deadlines. I had direct manager , no lead in team.
One fine day my account VP called me .
Account VP: your attitude is not good ( fyi I used to come office early in morning by 9am and complete work by 4:30–5pm and then leave) about why I am leaving so early when all other people stay late ( other people used to come by 12:30–1 PM and leave by 9PM) ,
Me: my work is going fine and my manager doesn’t have any issue with deadline and work( that time my manager was in USA)
A VP : you need to improve this , can’t work like this.
Me : what you want more time or better efficiency?
A VP : do your work but you need to stay .
Me: sorry , I can’t do that as I am coming early when no one is in office and completing mine work and team is also doing same.( Team people used to stay till 6:30–7PM for no reason).
Next day I was called by my HR director , when I reached there I saw VP sitting with him.
HR director: I was told that you are behaving properly and not working properly.
Me : work wise you can ask my manager and even I do direct presentation to India head and people in US.
HR D.: U need to stay also ,that’s how everyone work here.
Me: I am not everyone and I won’t work like that. When required I do stay but can’t do it daily for no reason.
HR d- this is not way you can work here.
Me: then I don’t want to work here, you guys don’t understand the problem. By sitting till late doesn’t mean you are working more. And I can’t stay without reason.
HR D: your behaviour is not good , Not good way to talk, Better you leave.
Me: ok. I will send a mail and I am leaving. Can’t work in this kind of environment.
Later in same month I got another job with very good hike 80% and again 17% in next 4months during appraisal.
FYI,
I completed 2 projects in 7months and after I left , responsibility was given to senior developer and few months later when I asked my team mates , they told me that there is no progress and they are almost still stuck where you left . One person left one month after I left and one was working there.
Being a leader
What is the most disrespectful thing your neighbour has done?
Oh, you wouldn’t believe what happened with my neighbor last summer. So, there I was, enjoying a quiet Saturday afternoon in my backyard, tending to my roses — you know, the usual weekend relaxation. Out of nowhere, I hear this loud, screeching sound. I look up, and there’s my neighbor, Dave, flying a drone right over my fence!
At first, I thought, “Okay, maybe he’s just testing it out.” But no, this drone starts hovering over my yard, and I swear it’s like it’s spying on me. I’m waving my arms, trying to shoo it away like a pesky fly. And then, the unthinkable happens — this drone swoops down and knocks over my prized garden gnome, shattering it into a million pieces. That gnome was a gift from my late aunt, and I treasured it.
I marched right over to Dave’s house, ready to give him a piece of my mind. But here’s the kicker: he opens the door with this innocent look and says, “Oh, did my drone accidentally wander into your yard? It must’ve gone off course. Sorry about that.” I mean, the nerve of some people! It took every ounce of patience I had not to escalate things.
So, lesson learned — always keep an eye on the sky when Dave’s around. You never know when a rogue drone might invade your privacy. It’s funny now, but at the time, it was like something out of a sitcom!
What does Germany do better than the US?
Having lived for three years in Germany, the one thing that really struck me about Germany’s advantage over the US is Germans’ deep feeling of personal liberty. Americans believe we have personal freedom, but we really don’t compare to Germans.
Germans have a very generous social safety net that Americans do not have. In Germany a person can quit his job to start a business of his own without fear of losing his health insurance. This relieves a lot of the stress and risk for someone who wants to pursue a lifelong dream to have their own business. The government will even partially subsidize the business for the first year to help him get it started effectively rather than having to scrape together dimes and nickles and fail due to a lack of support. This makes it entirely possible for someone to start something they really want to do.
Education is fully subsidized at all levels. If a German wants to be a doctor, they go for it. An engineer, they go for it. An artist, a musician or a teacher, they go for it. The education is available to become anything they want to be, regardless of their ability to pay. Germans have freedom to pursue their dreams where Americans are enslaved by debt or cannot afford to go to school at all.
A person who loses his job in Germany may receive 60% of his salary for up to a year while he searches for a new job. This prevents him from being forced immediately into a lower-wage job as Americans frequently are when their personal savings runs out.
Free healthcare, of course. Germans don’t have to worry about whether they can afford their medications or medical treatments. Sickness doesn’t drain a person’s bank account.
The elderly are taken care of. Those who have retired will receive a pension sufficient to allow them to live the rest of their lives with dignity. The government provides substantially for elderly people who need to be in a nursing home or in a hospice, relieving families of the crushing financial burden Americans face as their parents grow old.
My experience brought me to the conclusion that Americans have as much freedom as they have money. People who have little money become risk averse and are not free to pursue their dreams—especially when they work pay check to pay check and are one car repair away from bankruptcy. If they have college debt, Americans live like slaves for many years. The German system, on the other hand, allows people to live free, to try things, to fail perhaps, and keep right on going until they succeed. The quality of life is therefore higher and people are free to do what they want with their lives.
Hanging by your fingernails over the edge of a cliff is not freedom.
Argentina is not joining BRICS? Where is its right wing President leading its people to?
Argentina went hard butt-fuck with the United States, and this has “sort of” messed up the global realignment.
Has anyone at your workplace ever been fired for something they said or did?
Yes. Leanne. A rather entitled millennial who thought the sun shone from somewhere it didn’t. She told her manager to F-off.
She was put into a tech assistant role, supporting George, a category manager who had been working for the company for close to 50 years. He retired when he hit 50 years of service – he was 72 at the time. After retirement, he stuck around part-time for a few years as a consultant too – he was that knowledgeable, and important to the business.
Anyway, what George didn’t know wasn’t worth knowing. He could tell you the names of staff going back to the early 70s. He could also tell you when something was made obsolete, and what replaced it. He was a walking archive of catalog information going back to before I was born. If you couldn’t find an answer, George was the one who would know it. He was extremely well respected. He had 2 assistants working under him, doing daily tasks like tenders and quotes, warranty checks, stock orders, and general technical assistance for distributors and customers.
Jovic was a fellow in his mid-30s when I met him. He was George’s protégé, and he had already learned a lot from George – having worked under him for nearly a decade. His only career plan was to step into George’s role when he retired. He did (and still does) a cracking job.
Leanne was employed a year or so before I came along. She was lazy, and slow to reply to requests for help. Customers complained to both Jovic and George about her. Jovic was growing tired of having to carry Leanne’s shortcomings and begged George to do something.
George worked out she would be better doing analytic tasks like price increases, manufacturing updates, large pricing tenders, and stock monitoring – so she wouldn’t have to talk to customers anywhere near as much. She was taking a week to do a tender than George could do in a few hours. Admittedly, George could look at a partial part number, or a description, and instantly know the correct number. This took Leanne a lot of time to search. But she was also partial to online shopping and would spend hours browsing fashion sites. She would also call her friends and spend hours going through fashion websites, deciding what to buy. This was the main reason she was so slack.
George had gone to HR several times about her lack of competence in the role, her time wasting, excessive personal calls etc, etc. She was given numerous verbal warnings and a couple of written ones. She was on thin ice. One afternoon George was frustrated that a deadline was coming up, and she hadn’t started a tender that she’d had for over 2 weeks. He walked up behind her desk to see she was browsing a fashion site, and yapping away on a personal call. He interrupted her and asked her to focus on the tender. Her response “Fx off George.”
George had never been short with anyone before. So his next outburst was a huge shock to us all. He bellowed (loud enough for whoever was on the other end of her phone to hear it) “That’s it, we’re going up to HR right now. You had your last chance, and you blew it.”
Her response, which was heard right across 60+ people in an open plan office – people who had suddenly become silent after hearing George’s outburst, was “You can’t sack me you crusty old cxxx. I quit first.”
Because of that retaliation, and the language used, HR refused to give her a reference as she was marched from the building.
George was the most patient guy, but Leanne pushed him way too far. We were all glad to see the back of her.
Jovic has since become “George 2.0” – although his knowledge isn’t as impressive as George’s, he still has some 25 years to get there.
Have you ever caught someone talking about you in another language?
I pressed the button for floor number thirteen. The only other occupants of the lift were two cute girls, who were talking to each other in a highly fake American accent.
At the fifth floor, the lift stopped, the door opened, and I was surprised to see an African man standing in front of us. True that Delhi is a favorite destination of international tourists, but people of African origin are still a rare sight.
The lift was again on its way.
I turned my attention back to the girls. Suddenly, one of them started signaling the other, making big round eyes, first pointing towards her, and then towards the African guy. For an instant, the second girl seemed confused, but then she realized what her friend was trying to point to and both of them burst with silent giggles. I felt really bad for the African guy, who seemed strangely calm. He didn’t seem to mind at all. Emboldened by this, the two girls began talking loudly, but this time, they strategically switched to Hindi.
“Kitna bhadda lag raha hai ye kalua!” (He’s so ugly, this Blackie!)
“Haan, sahi kaha. Baal dekh iske, jaise ghungrali ghas ugi ho sir pe.” (Yep, you’re right. Look at his hair. Looks like his head is covered with curly grass.)
At this, both of them again started guffawing with tears in their eyes.
“Itni badsurat shakal kisi ki kese ho sakti hai!” (How can somebody have such an ugly face!)
I was really embarrassed. Was this my incredible India?
The lift stopped. The African guy adjusted his backpack and proceeded to step out. Then suddenly, he turned around, and in impeccable Hindi, said –
“Badsurat dil hone se to badsurat shakal hona achha hai!” (It’s better to have an ugly face than an ugly heart!)
And then, he was gone.
The expression of utter shame and embarrassment on the girls’ faces, turned red with rage and humiliation, is something I still cherish to this day.
Purr mode
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/zslyvU2RUMc?feature=share
What are mistakes a commissioned officer could make that aren’t criminal, but can end their career immediately?
Not sure if it ended the lieutenant’s career or not, but if it didn’t it was definitely a CLM (Career Limiting Manuver)
Friend of mine was engaged to an enlisted guy in the army. Dude had his paperwork, and was a couple of weeks from being a civilian. He was scheduled to do some final training for newbies *in a week*, but didn’t have any real duties until then. Gal’s Mom dies somewhat unexpectedly. They set up the funeral for Saturday, she calls (still crying) tells guy, wants him there. Guy’s LT is standing right there, so guy asks LT for a weekend pass to go to funeral. LT says something (loudly, knowing gal is on phone) to the tune of ‘No, you aren’t leaving the base so you can go with your c*** to a funeral’
Short version: Gal’s dad gets pissed. Calls local Senator – who just happened to be the chairman of the Armed Forces budget committee. They go to the Senator’s office, start explaining what happened, and the Senator stops her: “So, your guy doesn’t have any duty for a week, you are on the phone grieving, and the LT called you a what?”
*2 hours later*, LT is helping dude pack his bags…..
Incredible marketing
What is the hardest thing in life to overcome?
The son of our friend Mario has tried to take his own life on the weekend. Together with his family and parents, he had a nice quiet dinner where he had too much to drink, and this made him so drowsy that he ended up fast asleep in the spare room of his parents’ place.
When Robin woke up, he was extremely erratic (“What am I still doing here ?”) and ran to the garden, where a noose was tied to a tree, ready to be used.
It took his parents and sister more than two minutes to cut the cord, but he was still alive. His wife wasn’t there to help him, by the way, although she was on the premises “minding her own business.” After a while — essentially after he caught his breath and was able to talk again — he became so dangerously aggressive that he was involuntary committed to a psychiatric ward.
It was the third time in as many months that Robin tried ending his life, and it was the third time that an act of pure coincidence “saved” him. The first time it was sleeping pills (but he vomited and was found), the second time he drove his car into a log carrier, which he miraculously survived (although his car was totally wrecked).
Robin has a three-year-old son. And he also has a wife.
And she has told him five months ago that she wants to work on herself, and put their marriage on hold (“and maybe the kid was a mistake”).
It shattered his every dream of becoming the best dad in the world and a good husband, and the forth time around may well be the last. In matters of the heart, the mind often fails to survive and Robin is drowning in a shockwave that is totally beyond his control now.
For his wife, it’s a mere ripple.
SOURCES: paintings by Stephen Early and Nicola Samori.
What was the most expensive thing you ever got for free, because someone made a mistake and didn’t charge you?
Money. I got money for free. Thanks American Express.
I worked for a professional service firm early in my career and standard practice was a corporate credit card (American Express) which I could use for work expenses like travel, food, accomodation and limited rewards for my team members within certain limits. Sometimes I’d shout Friday drinks on the firm as a reward.
I’d submit my bill for payment every month; my boss would always authorise and all was good.
Then after a few years I resigned as I got a better offer from another firm.
I handed back my corporate credit card and did the usual handover of everything belonging to the firm before I left – security pass, phone, laptop etc.
Several months later I received a corporate credit card bill saying my account was not closed. So I contacted American Express explained that I had left and they should seek payment and sort out any outstanding amounts from my previous employer as I could no longer process any payment.
This process repeated itself for about a year. I would either email or phone explaining the situation or else ignore the bill.
Eventually I’d had enough and resigned myself to visiting American Express pay the bill myself, and settle this thing once and for all.
So apparently, I don’t know the difference between a credit and a debit balance, and it was American Express who owed me money and could not close the account.
When I got there and identified myself they gave me the cash over paid on the credit card, then closed the account.
The terms and conditions of the card made me responsible even after I resigned for card payments (and overpayments).
Free money.
The Kitten Held Out His Paw Every Time Someone Passed Him At the Shelter
Can Walmart employees force me to stop and show my receipt as I leave the store? Is it legal for them to try?
A: The short answer, no. Absolutely not.
The long answer is this: If I smash a beer bottle over your head I will be charged with assault and probably various other things. If you invite me to smash a beer bottle over your head and refuse to press charges, I will be charged with nothing.
By voluntarily stopping, I’m inviting you to smash me with a beer bottle and I won’t press charges. But if you try to stop me against my will, you’ve just smashed me with one without my consent and the story gets radically different.
People stand in those receipt lines because of sheep mentality. These businesses know this and take full advantage of it. People are generally idiots that will do what they see other people doing – so if there is a line that terminates in the parking lot, where customers on their way out want to be, they will typically join that line. Show a receipt? Does it mean I get to my car eventually? No problem!
A receipt is a proof of purchase. Barring some evidence or suspicion of shoplifting, the business has absolutely no legal authority to detain you – they simply hope you don’t know that and are, in fact, an idiot.
Back in about 2003 I was buying a shit ton of PC builds from a store called Fry’s (Think Costco of electronics) in Burbank, California. I needed to fill an office of twenty or so terminals and would make thrice weekly runs to Fry’s ending in shopping carts full of things. There was at least a twenty minute line to check out. Then another twenty minute line while some dipshit checked every item at the door. I eventually decided to detour and was stopped, multiple times….
In each case, it escalated to a manager and in each case, I was apologized to and “let go”…and when I say “let go” I mean that I voluntarily left after staying voluntarily. I never showed my receipt because the bluff was called.
No matter what anyone says, unless you are part of a membership based retail chain with implicit contractual conditions, there is no way any retail establishment can force you to show a receipt upon exit of premises unless said receipt is to be used for in-store reimbursement. At all. Ever. In any store.
So walking without stopping at the hall monitors exit is more or less a test and they’re hoping you’ll blow it and submit to some bassackwards receipt check that serves no real loss prevention purpose.
I do stop for adorable old people though – because that’s like their last thing that means anything. I’ll easily wait 2 minutes while some octogenarian verifies I actually purchased only shampoo, diapers and a fifty inch TV.
What is the saddest thing a teacher has had to do?
I regularly have to trample all over student’s dreams and crush their ambitions utterly. I hate doing it more than anything else, but it’s my job.
For some reason people believe it’s fine to lie to kids with intellectual disabilities. They think it’s okay to tell them massive untruths because it makes them smile for a moment. And immediate, short-term happiness is all a lot of people consider when interacting with kids with intellectual disabilities.
I’ve been working in special needs education and I’ve lost count of the number of girls I have taught who honestly believe they have what it takes to be a great singer. They’re convinced that they’re just as good as anyone they see on TV or hear on the radio because that’s what people tell them. They belt out a tune and friends and relatives gush and talk about what a great voice they’ve got and how they’re better than Taylor Swift etc. And the kids believe them, because everyone says it and they have an intellectual disability so they believe what people tell them.
I’ve personally seen it happen. I’ve watched girls sing in school concerts and hit roughly half the notes they were aiming for and exhibit no sense of rhythm but generate the sort of praise that Pavarotti used to get from sycophants. People tell the student that they’ll be a great singer one day which they know is a complete and total lie.
My role as a teacher is to try and get them into employment. I try and find work experience, work placements, further education and job opportunities so they can leave school with a career path. Which means I have to ask them what they want to do for a living and they look at me with conviction and say they want to be a singer. Despite the fact that their ability is well below average, they dream of being a pop star because everyone tells them that they’re going to be the next great singer. And then I come along and talk seriously about maybe getting a job stacking shelves in a supermarket. I tell them that getting a high-school certificate is essential and they need to focus on their school work and start thinking of realistic career paths. I don’t actually tell them outright that their singing is terrible, but my job is to be the voice of reason and realism among the chorus of liars who tell them they’ll be a great singer. And I watch their dreams slowly die.
It’s not just singers. I’ve helped crush the dreams of actors, stand up comedians and sports stars. I’ve always encouraged them to follow their love as a hobby and keep at it but if they ask me (and most do) if they have what it takes to accomplish their dream then I’d be doing them a horrible disservice if I wasn’t honest.
Nobody prepared me for that in teacher training.
Double dipping
Why do people say that working as a flight attendant is not easy?
I’ve written this story before but I can’t find it.
I’m a pilot, not a flight attendant.
One day, I was traveling from a trip to my home base. I really wanted to be home but all the passenger seats were full and the cockpit jumpseat was full too. In those days, it was allowable for me to travel on the flight attendant jumpseat but it didn’t happen often. So I asked the flight attendants and they were good with it.
So I thought I’d be a nice guy and offer to help out. Unfortunately, they took me up on the offer.
I spent the first 30 minutes of the flight making drinks in the first class galley. Then they sent me to the aft galley where I swear I loaded 300 sodas on carts in a 737. When that was done, I started heating the meals and setting up each tray for the coach meal service. Those little foil dishes were super hot and I had to pull them out with an oven mitt and then remove the foil and put the meal on the tray and make sure the other items were in the right place. Then I put them into the carts as the flight attendants rolled them out for service. Then the trash started coming in and I pulled out the plastic bags from the carts and put in new ones and pulled out the carriers with the old trays and stowed them. After that was finally done, it was time for another beverage service! I had to clean out the beverage cart and put in fresh cans of soda, lots more glasses and ice. Then another trash pickup with dirty cups.
It was finally time for a break but…no, the moment I sat down on a jumpseat, people started trooping past for the lavatories. Many wanted something like another can of soda or some kind of snack or just wanted to chat or complain or ask which gate we’d use or about their connection or seat assignment or some other unanswerable thing. I said “I don’t know” a lot and most of the people were not in the mood to understand. It was exhausting.
Finally, they sent me back to the first class galley and she asked me to serve the cockpit which was kind of fun since they don’t often get service from a uniformed captain. They could tell I was wrung out. I went back to my galley and cleaned up the surfaces and put stuff where I was told to put it and make sure all those little doors were closed with the latches turned. She collected and service items and I stowed them where I thought they ought to go.
I was elated when the airplane started descending and even happier when they turned on the fasten seatbelt sign. A ten minute break!
We taxied to the gate and I was the first one off.
I had no idea how continuously hard the work was in the cabin. Those poor people never get a moment’s rest. They’re always “on” and have to somehow try to be courteous to everyone. I’m not a particularly outgoing person and it sapped my energy. It is far, FAR easier to be a pilot than a flight attendant.
Edit 1: I forgot to note that this was the flight attendant’s third leg and they were doing one more that evening. How do they have that kind of endurance?
I got a lot of new respect for the profession and I wish more pilots would do a “flight attendant appreciation flight”.
What makes a man fall in love with a woman?
1.Women as the safest place for him to go on the planet
Your arms, eyes, and lap, those have to be a refuge for him. If you become the safest place on the planet for his heart’s secret needs; he will never leave.
2. Women who make them feel like they matter
Appreciate him when he goes out of his way to buy a gift or provide you with much-needed emotional support. Tell him that he made a difference in your life.
3. Women who accept them for who they are
If you can encourage him to be his authentic self, it makes you extremely approachable and lovable. When he feels safe and comfortable, he’ll open up to you.
4. Women who push them and inspire them
A woman who excels in her pursuits, whether it is career, fitness goals, social milestones, or anything that truly fits his description of excelling at life, can be extremely attractive to men.
5. Women who are secure in the relationship
Men are attracted to strong and confident women, period. Confidence is one of the most attractive traits a woman can have. If you are secure and confident, he will feel the same, and this will lead him to open up more about himself and be able to show his vulnerable side.
6. Women who share their sexual chemistry
Physical intimacy is important in adult relationships. Men want their women to be open with them about sex and confident in their sexual encounters with them.
If you can radiate this confidence and openness to him, he will not only be attracted to you in the short-term, but also see you as a viable long-term romantic partner.
7. Women who are open to the idea of love
If a woman is resistant to being loved, a man will quickly lose interest. He won’t be able to open up or show love if he is continually being shut down. You need to be open to the idea of love and communicate your intentions and emotions.
8. Women who don’t fight their femininity
Men love to be with a woman who is authentic and confident in expressing her feminine side. Men are task-oriented and love it when their efforts are validated and valued, especially if it’s a physical task. So if you feel like he’s taking charge or trying to help you, it’s okay to lean back and let him do it occasionally.
9. Women who don’t play mind games
For instance, not answering calls or texts promptly is part of the mind games that can be counter-productive. This may lead to him acting nonchalant as well and not committing himself fully to the relationship.
Men like women who are honest and open with them about the things that really matter.
Congo
What is the best thing you learned in the military?
Go with the flow
My first 18 months in the USMC, I got to basically turn my brain off, because I was a PVT. Everything of any importance, or which required intelligence, was handled by NCOs and commissioned officers, not by some just-out-of-high-school junior-enlisted punk.
I was a Baby Grunt who just did what my higher-ups told me. Once I reached E-4 and above, though, I was entrusted with tasks that required more attention, thinking and care. I got smarter, and more careful.
Still, I could always rely on my company commander to take care of me, I never really worried about where my next meal would come from, or anything like that. Things worked out for me, pretty much, or at least I stayed alive and out-of-trouble.
I never got lost, or got demoted or thrown in the brig. I kept my nose clean and did my job decently, because no-one who was under my command died. That’s good enough for me, that I made sure I got all of my soldiers home alive, and except for one person, home in one piece.
Lots of things can go wrong at any moment, and everything is determined by luck and chance. You can die anytime. But at least they’ll take care of your family. And the chances of you dying get pretty low if you don’t take risks you don’t need to.
In my case of being wounded, that was no-one’s fault, except the Iraqi who placed it there. If I died, I would’ve done so knowing that I’d done my country and my men a good service.
Just do what everybody else is doing (most of the time, there are some cases where you should go your own way, especially if you’re surrounded by inexperienced, or just plain dumb, people) and things will turn out okay. Don’t worry, the Corps has things handled for you.
You might get your deployment extended, or sent out on back-to-back missions, but that’s not the worst thing that can happen to you. There’s a bigger picture.
Russian soldiers taking a break during the battle of grozny
What is the cutest mistake you’ve ever seen someone make?
My wife Sonia was 21 when we met. I wasn’t much older but had seen more of the world, whereas she came from a small town in Upstate New York and had never been on an airplane. I decided to surprise her with a trip to the Bahamas. When we embarked on our flight, Sonia wore a woven beach hat and beautiful sun dress. She was wide-eyed and adorable (still is). A true Audrey Hepburn. As we approached the screening area of the airport, Sonia said, “What is that?” She pointed to the large x-ray box for scanning carry-on luggage. Without missing a beat, I said, “Oh, if this is your first time flying, they screen you in the box.” I thought she would laugh. Instead, she started to climb onto the conveyer belt. I had to pull her back and then explain to the startled TSA agent (this was pre-9/11) that my girlfriend had never flown before. Sonia was suitably red-faced (and even more adorable). She proceeded to slug me (much deserved).
We’ve flown together many times since. I always make a show of trying to hold her back from climbing into the box.
Roof Koreans
What should the punishment be for those people who “dine and dash”, meaning they stack up a huge bill at a restaurant and run away before paying?
I used to wait tables at a Denny’s in Lawrence MA. One instance, I was off the clock and having coffee with a couple of friends when 3 teens literally ran out the door. Found out that they had run out on the bill so we gave chase and got their plate number. Called the cops, filed a report, and about an hour later a very angry father showed up with the 3 boys in tow. His son had borrowed his car. The officer on duty (we had a detail officer during rush periods on the weekends) was aware of the incident and told them to pay the bill. Then he “strongly suggested” that the boys leave a generous tip for the waitress. They had the money, they just didn’t want to pay. After all was said and done, and the father had torn his son and son’s friends new ones, the officer arrested the 3 boys for theft. They were charged, given a deferred prosecution agreement, and sentenced to perform community service. Once they completed it, their records would be wiped clean. I believe two of them completed the DPA, the third ended up failing it and going to jail for a little while. Seemed fitting.
Have you ever accidentally found out that you were about to be fired?
Yes due to my second layer boss simply didn’t have a common sense.
I have this habit while I was working in a client facing side where I occasionally check my work calendar on weekend in case any of my clients do schedule a meeting last minute.
While I was checking, I got this weird meeting invite on the next Tuesday with my boss, my boss’s boss and the HR team (1st red flag).
I figure there might be 2 options either I’m canned or maybe they’re gonna move me another team. I tried to contact them and ask what’s happening but well the HR and my second layer boss doesn’t have the balls to answer me and just ignore me till our meeting (2nd red flag).
My boss did respond though, through our call I found out that he did not know anything (or did he?) Well anyway I trust him, he’s a good man after all.
Well long story short, here I am writing this experience and my second layer boss got canned too 3 months after that.
Preview The MASSIVE 1/35 Akagi Flightdeck and Bridge W/ 1/35 Kate Torpedo Bomber
Very interesting. Just worth skimming through.
What is the worst medical misdiagnosis you have ever had or personally known someone to have had?
30 years ago, my SIL was worried about her 2 year old son. His tummy hurt and he wouldn’t eat much. Their doctor said it was a mild stomach flu, he’ll get over it in a few days, soft foods for a while.
When he started wheezing and coughing at night, the doctor said, “It’s just a little cold, he’ll get over it in a few days”, gave her a ventolin puffer (inhaler) and a spacing chamber, but no instructions.
Asthma runs in that family, because my son was also diagnosed with asthma, as had their shared grandmother. My son’s asthma specialist trained me how to administer the meds, so I taught my SIL.
My nephew’s legs were bruising from the inside of his legs, it seemed, because he was now too weak to move much. The day care called my SIL because he had a fever and they couldn’t wake him! She took him to Urgent Care, which sent them to the Emergency hospital.
The paediatrician diagnosed him with late stage leukemia and admitted him immediately!!
The Hospital staff reviewed what they could find of his records from the family doctor. The staff called their lawyers and the Medical Board before informing my SIL that her “doctor” was not trained or certified as any kind of medical practioner at all!
She declined to join the class action suit against him, or to file suit as an individual.
He survived, and is now a lawyer and owns an apiary.
What was the strangest part of your divorce?
The day the divorce was being finalized I went to the courthouse.
My about to be ex didn’t bother to appear though his lawyer did.
Judge reads over the paperwork, asks me a few questions. Announces he is finding in my favor in any disputed issues because if the ex cared about the outcome he should have appeared. BANG.
Divorce is final, see the clerk for copies of decree.
Ex’s lawyer turns to me and asks if he can buy me lunch.
Judge: WHAT?
Lawyer: Lunch. My treat. Least I can do.
Courtroom is full of muffled laughter.
Judge: Explain yourself, counselor.
Lawyer: Your honor, this lady and I have been the route together. My client-
Judge: This lady’s former husband. That client?
Lawyer: Your honor, my client is a squirrel. He messed this lady about for no damn reason, kept asking for changes, kept demanding she sign off on things then failing to sign the paperwork himself, that kind of thing. He regularly failed to pay the agreed support. For that matter, he hasn’t been all that great at paying me, either. I’ve spent more time on the phone with this lady than I have with my client.
Judge: Okay. Anything else?
Lawyer: Your honor, my client is a squirrel and as of ten minutes ago he’s not my client anymore and he’s not her husband anymore. I feel like this lady and I have been through a lot together and before we go our separate ways I thought it might be nice to sit, eat a nice lunch and not talk about the squirrel at all.
Judge: Out of my courtroom. Now. (Looks at me) Make him buy you the biggest steak on the menu.
Restructuring reality
What is the most interesting fact that you know and I don’t, but I should?
- Farts can leak through your mouth if you hold them in.
- Your nose is the same length as your thumb.
- Staring at the palm of the hand, the center of the palm will become warm.
- You see your nose at all times, your brain just chooses to ignore it.
- The buttons on men’s shirts are always on the right and the buttons on women’s shirts are always on the left.
- The Sun is extremely loud, we just can’t hear it because sound can’t travel through the vacuum of space.
- Chickens have more bones in their necks than giraffes have.
- Paper cuts can feel more painful than cuts from a knife.
- Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
- The distance between your earlobes is usually the same distance between your nipples.
- People who stutter often do not stutter when singing.
- Cold water weighs more than hot water.
- People hear better and retain more if they listen with their right ear.
- When you dream, one portion of your brain creates the story, while another part witnesses the events and is really shocked by the plot twists.
What was your “I am surrounded by idiots” moment?
I rented a u-Haul truck. It was a clapped out broken piece of garbage that was noisy, didn’t steer right and the passenger door would pop open whenever I hit a big bump. But that’s not the issue.
I rented it on Friday and needed to return it on Sunday before 9am so not to be charged an extra day. So Sunday I got up early and was there by 8am. The place was closed! And the lot was full of people either trying to return trucks or pick them up for the day. Apparently the opening guy was a no show!
I stood around with all these folks about a half hour. Then I wrote a note dated and time marked 8:30am. I wrapped it around the keys and put it in the night slot. I felt bad for the folks waiting for trucks who had to move that day!
I get the bill by email the next day. I’m being charged an extra day, them stating the truck was logged in at 12:30pm! I call the office and explain myself. The numpty explains that the time stamp was 12:30 so the charge was correct! I retort that they were closed during business hours! He responds that yes that is true, and there was chaos and the manager had to come in, and he didn’t get to logging the truck in right away, so the charge was right! I gave up, and hung up.
I called corporate and got a reasonable human on the line. He understood right away. Situation instantly rectified!
What happened during the process of getting your rental car at the airport that made you say, “You gotta be kidding me?”
Well, it was somewhat entertaining. I had reserved a car at EWR (Newark Airport). I used to live in NJ, and i knew very well that I wanted a SMALL CAR because that’s what you want in the part of NJ I was headed for.
So I get there, I walk up to the counter, give the guy my res number. He puts on a big smile, “would you like to upgrade to a sports car”.
No
“Woudl you like to upgrade to a full-sized sedan?”
No
“How about a Prius?”
No
Ok then. (do the usual dance about CDW, yadda yadda) He hands me keys. I look at the ring. It says “Ford Explorer”. Yeah. That’s what it said!
So I asked, can I have a compact like I asked for, please?
“No, we’re out, but you could upgrade to a sports car!”
Does that cost more?
“Well, it’s $110 a day.” (the compact was 39/day plus fees)
So, how much is this Ford Exploder? <guy winces>
“Well it’s to fulfill your reservation so it’s the same price as the compact.”
Yeah, so I was moving about NJ in the Iowa Class of Automobiles. I think I got about 11–12 MPG.
It is better that words fail me.
Mandela effect
Fruit of the loom!
What are some examples of assassination attempts gone wrong?
When Susan Kuhnhausen walked into her house, she immediately knew someone was in her home.
It wasn’t just a sixth sense. Things had been moved. Curtains were now open, moving as if they’d recently been touched. Things on her table had been moved. She lived alone and she knew where everything belonged.
She walked through the house uneasily looking down hallways. In the kitchen. Moving quietly.
She walked past her bathroom. She turned into her bedroom.
Standing there was a bearded man, holding a hammer. He charged her and swung his hammer, hitting her on the side of the head. She fell down. He got on top of her and kept hitting her.
They then began wrestling.
Susan was a larger woman, who was particularly strong and worked as a nurse in the ER, trained on how to subdue wild patients.
After being hit several times, she managed to get her assassin pinned to the ground in a sleeper hold.
She began choking him. When she released him his throat had been crushed — he later died (after Susan called an ambulance for him).
The assassin had been sent by her husband.
Their marriage had fallen apart and he wanted her dead. He’d paid the assassin $50,000 to kill her. (Source: A Hit Man Came to Kill Susan Kuhnhausen. She Survived. He Didn’t. Slovic, Beth.)
She was later treated for injuries and made a full recovery. Her husband was then sent to jail for the remainder of his life (he died in prison).
Her would-be assassin’s last words, during their fight, were “you are strong.”
What is the most inappropriate gift that someone innocently gave a teacher?
I opened a Christmas gift from a female kindergarten student. She really wanted me to open it in front of her. It was a teal negligee. I was speechless. She was very excited to give it to me and I said it was beautiful.
I put it back in the gift bag and said that it was so pretty I wanted Mrs. L (my good friend) to see it. I told the student to just leave it on her desk because Mrs. L is very busy and to come right back to class.
My friend was in mild hysterics over this gift and she proceeded to quietly pass it around the school. Another teacher who had taught the older siblings came to me and said mom works in a factory and probably made the negligee herself. That’s why there were no tags.
I kept it for years and wrote a lovely thank you note, of course.
What unusual but useful mental exercise can improve people’s quality of life?
I have a bold and, perhaps, strange proposition for you: I want you to start naming inanimate objects in your life. Not all of them. Just five to ten will do. You can name them anything you’d like. Why? Because it will enrich your life, teach you to appreciate these objects, and promote fun and creativity. It can even defuse arguments.
For example, my partner Laura and I are constantly at odds over the thermostat. She generally wants the house so hot that the paint peels off the walls. And in her defense, I prefer an arctic winter. As a compromise, I bought her a few warm blankets, wool socks, and a sweater.
There is one brown blanket, which we originally named, “Big Brown”, but have now named it, “The Nuclear Option.” No heat escapes and if you dare sleep in it, you risk overheating. Sometimes, when we are discussing the temperature, I will say, “Want me to get the nuclear option for you?” She will look at me in horror, as if to beg, “N-n-no…please don’t.” It generally lightens the mood.
People generally buy and own too much stuff, but that doesn’t mean we can’t name our chosen objects. Naming something changes our relationship with it, altering how our brain encodes the information. The object gains meaning and becomes more memorable. For example, small children are more likely to notice and remember features of stuffed animals if a name is attached to it. Whereas they become far more disinterested in the absence of names.
Naming objects also gives a sense of psychological comfort and control. Your garage machinery no longer feels like machinery, but instead, happy, willing employees, your allies in oiled arms. Names can also enhance the intended purpose of an object.
For example, my dad was a Navy SEAL, and in training, there are these big logs they carried and did sit-ups with, grunting and enduring torturous exercise. But if trainees did something egregiously wrong, they had to carry an extra large log that is twice the weight of an already heavy log. They call it “Old Misery.” No SEAL forgets Old Misery, and its name is part of its menace.
Per Dr. Soonkwan Wan, Marketing professor at Michigan Tech University, “You may drive exactly the same car I drive. But my car is my car. It’s part of me and part of my history, so that makes it different. In this way, you kind of decommodify this commodity.”
A few examples
One trick is to think of singular objects in your life. There’s no sense in naming an apple, in a pile of many apples. Think of those things that stand out.
During my childhood Floridian summers, we occasionally got rain downfalls that felt like a biblical apocalypse to some, but were grounds for incredible childhood fun. I had a big clunky red bike that was remarkably good at riding through high waters due to its big wheels. Every other bike immediately got stuck and fell over. So, I nicknamed this one wave runner:
(Sister. Me in the middle. Johnny. Wave runner on the right. You might notice Johnny running for the car in the background. He’s rushing to tell the car not to try. We spent the day helping these cars get out of this street turned pond.)
Naming objects creates a bond with it, despite it not having any real feelings or thoughts. We are tricking the mind to care, and this is good because it elevates our sense of belongingness. I can promise you — as silly as this entire exercised seems — when you start naming things, watch as you suddenly start valuing these objects more.
My grandfather was eternally cheap after a bleak childhood during the great depression. He grew up in abject poverty, with a single mother and seven siblings. He took that frugalness far into life with him. Despite having plenty of money, he still drove this hideous Ford fiesta, with cracked and peeled off paint. It barely ran, and made us nervous on steep bridges because we weren’t sure if it was going to make it up the slope.
My mother pressured him to at least paint it and later regretted that. We came out one day — to see he’d taken cheap silver spray paint and made it look like the tin foil man. It was utterly embarrassing to ride in. But in good fun, and despite it topping out at 55 mph, we decided to name it the “Silver Bullet”. It took the whip off of the experience.
You might notice that my examples are throwbacks from many decades ago. Naming of these objects imprints them in your mind. You’ll tend to remember stories about them and have a stronger narrative of your life story (which is often anchored in these objects).
My friend James was given a plant 20 years prior at his Uncle Walter’s funeral (he died young and unexpectedly). They’d been very close. James named the plant Walt, and it is still living in his kitchen. When he sees it each morning, he says, “Hi Walt.”
Another friend named his Roomba, Hank, and talks to it every morning while it does zig-zagging routes through his house. I was visiting and was quite surprised by how authentic he sounded talking to it. He had a mock argument with his Roomba, just as Tom Hanks did with his volleyball Wilson — which had me rolling.
There are few rules to this exercise. Sometimes, naming breaks up the mundane. Other times, it’s a needed coping mechanism.
My aforementioned Grandfather was a World War 2 pilot, and named his bomber plane Blitz Buggy. Not only was naming planes tradition, but also a means of attaching value and trust in a machine that is deeply important. Its health was tied to your very own.
The big idea here is to have fun and find meaning. Naming objects will give you a sense of solidarity and trust with everyday things. It elevates that objects status to a character in your life.
Have the courage to be a little quirky and name five to ten objects over the next month. Think of the things you use most frequently, or of the things that aren’t like the rest. I think you’ll be surprised by how fun this exercise actually is. You’ll feel a bit of youthful vigor and creativity, and sometimes, some well needed sincerity.
I’d also love to hear from anyone who has already done this, and if there is a story behind these names.
What’s the most shameful thing a co-worker has done to you?
She forced me into a position I didn’t want to take. To do something I didn’t want to do
I was working for small company, a husband and wife operation. They bought overruns from manufacturers and repacked them into pre packs of assorted sizes and colors. It was all clothing. I and five others called up companies and sold the pre-packed clothes into off price retailers.
The receptionist had worked with them for years. One day I saw some people come in to the showroom and pick out some clothing for their small store. I’ll call the girl Mary although not her name. They gave Mary $100 bill and she went to get change. She opened the petty cash, took out the change but as I walked out of the office I dropped my pen. As I’ve bent over to pick it up I saw Mary put the $100 bill in her pocket. So I started keeping an eye on her.
A week later I saw her take 8 pair of Levi’s home for her son to try on. She only brought back 2 and paid for two. So she came out with four pair of free Levi’s.
At this point I had to go to the owners and tell them. It broke their hearts and cost her her job. I remember the boss lady crying because they thought so much of her they had put her in their will as they had no children.
I felt so bad that she put me in that position. But I had loyalty to my bosses.
What was a Christmas bonus you got from your company that made you speechless?
Almost 20 years ago I worked for a large chain craft and fabrics store who’s name rhymes with Sew Fan’s. It was a great place for a creative person with no money concerns to work, but corporate also didn’t seem to care two farts in A windstorm about the employees and were regularly instituting years long freezes on wage increases and cutting hours to under 22 per week to avoid having to pay any benefits. If I were ever to go back to working there it would only be to bring in the union. Those workers sure needed it. My first Christmas season there I was working the closing shift and saw a box that had originally had probably about 48 snack packs of cookies and crackers. It was down to maybe a dozen packs of crackers, as the day shift had pretty much decimated it. That was our annual Christmas bonus. One foot by one foot box of inexpensive snacks to share between both shifts. At least they let us do gift exchanges.
The next place I worked for had a prime rib feast, $25 gift cards and a turkey. It was pretty nice!
Men can relate
What is the most condescending advice you received from someone who assumed you were poorer or less educated than them?
I was in my classroom after my class had left for the day. They had made a bit of a mess, so after I’d tidied the place, I got out the vacuum and began to run it around the room. I wanted it to look fresh for the new teacher’s aid who I was going to interview that afternoon.
A young man came in, looked at me, but didn’t say a word, didn’t introduce himself, just sat down at my desk!
I asked him, “Can I help you?”
He made an impatient gesture with his hand. “Just clean up and get out. I’ve got an interview with the Head Teacher at 4.”
I shrugged and got on with it. After about five minutes the room was clean and I put away the vacuum. As I was coming back to the room, the young man came out looking annoyed and said, “Look, pass on the message to the Head Teacher that he’s late for our interview, so I’m leaving.”
I glanced at my watch, said, “I’m so sorry, but you did imply that you didn’t mind waiting, as I was cleaning up. It’s now 4.05.”
He stared at me. “What’s it got to do with you?”
I held out my hand to shake his. “I’m the Head Teacher. Do you want to go back now for the interview?”
He stared, then went several shades of red and left. Needless to say, if he’d stayed for the interview he would have had to be truly exceptional for me to overlook his silly gender bias that I was “supposed” to be a male, and his assumption that a Head Teacher can’t clean up as well as a professional cleaner. And just for the record, our cleaner is male.
Chicken Kiev
The chicken is pounded thin, rolled with a filling of seasoned butter, breaded and then either deep-fried or baked.
Yield: 8 servings
Ingredients
- 4 large whole chicken breasts, split, skinned, de-boned
- 1/2 cup butter, softened
- 1 clove garlic, crushed
- 2 tablespoons chopped parsley
- 1 teaspoon thyme or marjoram
- All-purpose flour
- 2 eggs, beaten
- 1 cup fine bread crumbs
- Salt
Instructions
- Pound breasts thin between plastic bags, keeping the smooth side of breast down.
- Mix next 4 ingredients. Shape into 8 elongated oval pieces and freeze.
- Wrap chicken completely around butter and dip each chicken piece into flour.
- Next dip into eggs and finally coat with bread crumbs.
- Fry in hot oil (375 degrees F) for 10 to 12 minutes or bake at 350 degrees F for 45 minutes.
- Drain on paper towels. Salt after cooking. Chicken will keep in a 200 degrees F oven if placed, uncovered, on a metal tray.
What is the funniest joke you’ve been told that you still think about to this day?
This may belong to the blond joke section, but here goes –
A blonde is flying down the road in her little sports car, convertible top down, music blaring, signing away, going way over the speed limit.
Before long, she sees the flying cherries of a cop in her rear view mirror, so she pulls off to the side of the road. The cop walks up to her door and leans in and says “Do you know you were going at least 40 over the limit back there? I need to see your license please”.
The blond starts rummaging through her wallet, and before long she is obviously flustered, and turns to the cop and says “I’m sorry, what is it I’m looking for? Can you tell me what it looks like?”
The cop takes a deep sigh and says “Umm, your license?? it’s about the size of a credit card and has your picture on it???”.
So the blond rummages again and finds a little compact mirror in her wallet. She looks closely at it and sure enough sees her picture, so she hands it to the cop.
The cop, who it turns out is also blond, takes a long hard look at it, then hands it back to her and says “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were a cop, you can go.”
What are some interesting social skills that can be picked up quickly?
- Don’t call someone more than twice continuously. If they don’t pick up your call that means they have something more important to attend to.
- Return money that you have borrowed even before the other person remembers lending it to you. It shows your integrity and character. Same goes with umbrellas, pens and lunch boxes.
- Never order the expensive dish on the menu when someone is treating you for lunch/dinner. If possible ask them to order their choice of food for you.
- Don’t ask awkward questions like ‘Oh so you aren’t married yet?’ Or Why didn’t you buy a house?’ For god’s sake it isn’t your problem.
- Always open the door for the person coming behind you. Doesn’t matter if it is a guy or a girl. You don’t grow small by treating someone well in public.
- If you take a taxi with a friend, and he/she pays now, you pay next time.
- Respect different political opinions.
- Never interrupt people talking.
- If you tease someone, and they don’t seem to enjoy it, stop it and never do it again.
- Say “thank you” when someone is helping you.
- Praise publicly. Criticize privately.
- There’s almost never a reason to comment on someone’s weight. Just say, “You look fantastic.” If they want to talk about losing weight, they will.
- When someone shows you a photo on their phone, don’t swipe left or right. You never know what’s next.
- If a colleague tells you they have a doctors appointment, don’t ask what it’s for, just say hope you’re ok. If they want to talk about it they will and you don’t put them in the uncomfortable position of having to tell you their personal illness.
- Treat the cleaner with the same respect as the CEO. Nobody is impressed at how rudely you can treat someone below you but people will notice if you treat them with respect.
- If a person is speaking directly to you, staring at your phone is rude.
- Never give advice until you’re asked
- When meeting someone after a long time, unless they want to talk about it, don’t ask them their age and salary.
- Mind your own business unless anything involves you directly — just stay out of it.
- Take off your sunglasses if you are talking to anyone in the street. It is a sign of respect and more eye contact is as important as your speech.
Have you met a person who you thought was ordinary but actually was from a powerful and wealthy family?
So during college, I was visiting a small town, with my crappy car.
Of course, that means I broke down making a grocery run, and this old gentleman with worn out denim coveralls said he would call me a tow truck and have my car towed to the dealership.
Then I broke down because there was no way I had money for a tow let alone repairs. The old guy sat with me and calmed me down. He said the dealership was known to be reputable and would help me out of my jam.
Long story, but a couple days later I picked up my car and I went to pick up the car, having made arrangements to make payments.
They said there was no bill as Mr.Smith (not real name) had paid it. Then I realized the dealership was Smith Ford.
I Then went to get my car. Well they had totally detailed my car and even I could tell that I had new tires. I found a note on front seat saying pay it forward when I could.
They had done over 2,000 in repairs to a 500 dollar car. I can’t even list everything they did. But new tires all around, new brakes, oil change, filled gas tank, just to start.
Edit: Many people have asked if I have paid it forward. My wife and I have indeed done so, in many different forms over the years. We have been blessed, and consciously pay it back when we can.
Quantum Immortality
They are talking about “slides”.