When I was a young boy, perhaps 6 years old, we lived in a housing complex in Bridgeport, Connecticut. I used to play with the other kids in that complex. One of my boyhood friends was this kid named Joe.
His father was a scientist from Germany. And after world war II, he emigrated to the United States with his parents. They were a nice family, and the father and Joe could speak very good English, but his mother could not. But she was pretty nice.
Joe was named after the Americans allowed him to come into the USA. He was named “G.I.Joe”. I kid you not.
Anyways he had his father’s German soldiers helmet, and a German army issue gas mask that we both played with.
He was a lot of fun. Joe and I did many things together, and we ran about getting into all sorts of things. Good times for young boys. Ha ha.
Anyways, in his basement, his father had rows and rows of cages with bunny rabbits. yeah, his father was using them for experiments that he ran out of his house.
He fed them. He tended to them.
He injected them…
Now that I am older, and knowing about “Operation Paperclip”, I wonder just what kinds of experiments his father was doing to these rabbits. Makeup? Bio-weapons? Aspirin? I don’t know.
What I do know is that my father would periodically take me over to Joe’s house and I would get to pick up the rabbits from time to time. Both Joe and I were too young to notice anything wrong about the set up. But today… knowing what I do know… I wonder about it.
Many innocent things in my past… well are exposed to the understandings of experience when you get older.
Today…
Ukraine Dropped Explosive On Nuclear Fuel Storage Facility
Ukrainians dropped an explosive on the nuclear fuel storage facility at the Zaporozhye Nuclear Power Plant.
Russia sent an urgent report to the IAEA.
Absolutely ZERO additional information is available at this time.
No word of any radiation leak . . . no word about ANYTHING. Just that it happened.
More if I get it.
This $7.3 Trillion Bombshell Threatens To SINK The Dollar
Transgender – The Inability To Distinguish Facts From Wishes
Matt Taibbi opines on the latest piece of transgender nonsense:
The Dumbest Cover Story Ever – Racket News, Mar 13 2024
New York Magazine’s “Freedom of Sex” is the ultimate example of the lunatic nihilism that’s consumed America’s intellectual class
New York Magazine has a new cover story, by the trans writer Andrea Long Chu: “The moral case for letting trans kids change their bodies.” A jeremiad in support of the idea that children must have absolute political agency, it makes the Unabomber manifesto read like a Shakespeare sonnet. The money passage:
We must be prepared to defend the idea that, in principle, everyone should have access to sex-changing medical care, regardless of age, gender identity, social environment, or psychiatric history.
A lot of the piece is standard-issue woe-is-me fuck-everything cartoon nihilism you’d hear from any laptop-class liberal arts product, arguing for a generalized smashing of the patriarchy, among other things by attacking the biological conspiracy to produce those units of material labor value known as babies. Complete abolition of norms would be an “impossible task,” Chu notes sadly, but that doesn’t preclude their “collective reimagining” by an alliance of intersectional victims working toward a Marxian paradise free of “oppressive systems,” which of course include the nuclear family.
The nihilism Taibbi points to is also the major theme the French anthropologist Emmanuel Todd takes on in his book “The Defeat of the West”.
From its New York Times review:
This Prophetic Academic Now Foresees the West’s Defeat (archived) – New York Times, Mar 9 2024
American leadership is failing: That is the argument of an eccentric new book that since January has stood near the top of France’s best-seller lists. It is called “La Défaite de l’Occident” (“The Defeat of the West”). Its author, Emmanuel Todd, is a celebrated historian and anthropologist who in 1976, in a book called “The Final Fall,” used infant-mortality statistics to predict that the Soviet Union was headed for collapse.
…
Mr. Todd is not a moralizer. But he insists that traditional cultures have a lot to fear from the West’s various progressive leanings and may resist allying themselves on foreign policy with those who espouse them. In a similar way, during the Cold War, the Soviet Union’s official atheism was a deal-breaker for many people who might otherwise have been well disposed toward Communism.
…
Mr. Todd does believe that certain of our values are “deeply negative.” He presents evidence that the West does not value the lives of its young. Infant mortality, the telltale metric that led him to predict the Soviet collapse half a century ago, is higher in Mr. Biden’s America (5.4 per thousand) than in Mr. Putin’s Russia — and three times higher than in the Japan of Prime Minister Fumio Kishida.While Mr. Todd is, again, not judgmental on sexual matters, he is judgmental on intellectual ones. The inability to distinguish facts from wishes astounds him at every turn of the Ukraine war. The American hope early in the war that China might cooperate in a sanctions regime against Russia, thereby helping the United States refine a weapon that would one day be aimed at China itself, is, for Mr. Todd, a “delirium.”
Back in January Todd expanded on the inability of distinguishing facts from fiction, which is also the basis of trans-genderism, during an interview with Le Figaro. From its English translation:
Q: Over time, haven’t you become a bit of a reactionary?I was brought up by a grandmother who told me that, sexually speaking, all tastes are part of nature, and I’m faithful to my ancestors. So, LGB, welcome. For T, the trans issue is something else. The individuals concerned must of course be protected. But the fixation of the Western middle classes on this ultra-minority issue raises a sociological and historical question. To establish as a social horizon the idea that a man can really become a woman and a woman a man is to assert something that is biologically impossible, it is to deny the reality of the world, it is to assert the false.
Trans ideology is therefore, in my opinion, one of the flags of this nihilism that now defines the West, this drive to destroy not just things and people but reality. But, once again, I am in no way overwhelmed here by indignation or emotion. This ideology exists and I have to integrate it into a historical model. In the age of the metaverse, I can’t say whether my attachment to reality makes me a reactionary.
The intentional denial of reality, as it is currently practiced in the West, is not a new phenomenon. It is the basis of neo-conservatism from where it has crept over to the progressive side.
As Ron Susskind wrote in his portrait of the first years of the Bush junior presidency:
Faith, Certainty And The Presidency Of George W. Bush (archived) – Ron Susskind / New York Times, Oct 17 2004
The aide said that guys like me were “in what we call the reality-based community,” which he defined as people who “believe that solutions emerge from your judicious study of discernible reality.” I nodded and murmured something about enlightenment principles and empiricism. He cut me off. “That’s not the way the world really works anymore.” He continued “We’re an empire now, and when we act, we create our own reality. And while you’re studying that reality—judiciously, as you will—we’ll act again, creating other new realities, which you can study too, and that’s how things will sort out. We’re history’s actors … and you, all of you, will be left to just study what we do.”
Karl Rove, the Bush advisor Susskind had quoted, displayed the same lunatic nihilism that is represented by those who argue that children, teenagers or people generally should can freely chose their gender. It is an attempt of “creating other new realities”. It represents a total denial of actual reality and of the common values derived from it. The Bush administration failed in its endeavor to create new realities in Iraq. The current regime in the West will fail likewise with regime change in Russia. So will others who deny realities.
The author of the Todd book review, Christopher Caldwell, adds:
Fighting a war based on values requires good values. At a bare minimum it requires an agreement on the values being spread, and the United States is further from such agreement than it has ever been in its history — further, even, than it was on the eve of the Civil War. At times it seems there are no national principles, only partisan ones, with each side convinced that the other is trying not just to run the government but also to capture the state.
I see a very similar denial of reality, followed by nihilism and a lack of values, at the top of the current European leadership. The loss of the common view of things is splitting societies on both sides of the Atlantic.
However, with regards to transgenderism, some sense of reality is still trying to survive:
National Health Service England stops prescribing puberty blockers, citing ‘not enough evidence’ – USA Today. Mar 13 2024
“We have concluded that there is not enough evidence to support the safety or clinical effectiveness of (puberty suppressing hormones) to make the treatment routinely available at this time,” the publication by NHS England stated.
Puberty is a natural process which often includes a temporary confusion about ones identity. Blocking a kids puberty to further some ephemeral confusion some may have during those time is in my view criminal.
I even agree with Rishi Sunack on this:
U.K. prime minister on gender: ‘A man is a man and a woman is a woman’ – Washington Post, Oct 5 2023
British Prime Minister Rishi Sunak asserted his stance on gender identity in a speech Wednesday, stating it was “common sense” that “a man is a man and a woman is a woman” — a remark that sparked criticism from transgender rights activists and elicited fervent applause from attendees of the Conservative Party Conference.
I see myself, just like Matt Taibbi seems to see himself, as a progressive striving for a society based on some form of socialism and justice.
To then find myself on the same side of an issue as some staunch conservatives, and getting attacked for it, is mildly disturbing.
Is it really impossible to be reality based and on the left side of things?
Posted by b on March 14, 2024 at 11:24 UTC | Permalink
Father gives instructions to his son
US Searching for Russian Sub – DelMarVa Peninsula
The United States is searching for what is believed to be a Russian nuclear submarine off the Delaware, Maryland, Virginia (DelMarVa) Peninsula and into Chesapeake Bay.
Sub-Hunter aircraft are deployed as shown on the FlightRadar image above.
This is a New LOW For Men…
This wasn’t something that I overheard, but my cousin did.
He was sitting on a train and overheard two girls talking, roughly in their early 20s. One of the girls had been asked to house-sit for a family friend who was away for 2 weeks and also look after their pet German Shepherd.
Things were going well for the first few days until she woke up one morning and the dog had died in its sleep.
This was in central London at the height of summer, and the girl didn’t own a car. The owners wouldn’t be back for about 8 days so she couldn’t just leave it in the house until then in case it started to rot. She read online that she should store it in a cool place, but there wasn’t anywhere suitable at their house as it was a very big dog. She also didn’t have many friends in the area and had no access to a car, so she had no idea what to do.
She googled where the nearest vet might be able to store the body until the owners returned, but it was two stops away on the tube. Even if a taxi agreed to transport a dead dog, she couldn’t afford to pay £20 for a London taxi, so she put the dog in a suitcase and took it on the tube.
A man offered to help her carry it down the stairs as she was struggling, and asked what on earth she had inside that made it so heavy (about 30kg). She was a photography student, so told him that she studied photography and had a lot of camera equipment inside. They chatted a bit about it and got on to the tube.
At the next stop, the man got off, but just as the doors were closing, he grabbed the suitcase and ran off towards the escalators as fast as he could. He was a petty criminal who thought he would cash in on the camera equipment. Before she knew what had happened, the doors had shut and she was on her way to the next station.
I’m not sure if they ever got it back, but there aren’t many greater images than the thought of this man returning home thinking he had hit the jackpot, only to open the bag and see a dead German Shepherd staring back at him.
Couples Therapy
Have you ever tried to annoy a scammer who called you? If so, what happened?
I don’t know if I actually “annoyed” the scammer but. . . . I have two stories, several years apart. Story One: My phone rang one afternoon about three years ago. When I picked up the receiver (landline), a voice answered that sounded like my cousin. When I said, “Larry?” he replied, “Yeah, Grandma, it’s me.” Immediately I knew it was a scam since my husband and I never had kids, ergo, no grandkids. But, I decided to play along. He explained that he was somewhere—I forget where exactly—in the Bahamas, where he and some friends had gone to hear a rock concert, and he’d been in an accident with his rental car. I asked him if he took out insurance when he rented the car; he said yes, but the way they did things down there was, you paid for the damages out of pocket, and then the rental insurance reimbursed you. I asked him how much he needed and he replied $3000, money he’d need to pay for the car, his hotel bill and airfare to get home. “Oh, Larry,” I said. “I’m sorry, but I just paid my quarterly property taxes (actually true) and have no more money.” Pause. “Why don’t you just ask Mom and Dad for the money?” He explained that his folks had told him not to go, but he went anyway, and now they would be furious at him for disobeying. “Oh, sweetheart,” I said in my most sympathetic tone. “Yeah, they’ll be mad at you for a minute, but you know they love you. I’m sure they’ll help you.” Another pause. “Larry, you go explain things to them. I just know they’ll give you the money. And then, please, call me back and let me know what happened. Okay?” “Okay, Grandma, I will.” If I do say so myself, I was brilliant. Move over Meryl Streep.
Story Two: This happened at least a dozen years ago, before I understood just what scammers were about and how they worked. I got a call from a guy (with an Indian accent) who said his name was Jim from “Microsoft” and that they had detected a virus on my computer. Coincidentally, I really was having problems with my computer and trouble accessing my email. I listened to his spiel and decided to allow him to take control of my computer. He said it would cost me $100 to fix. I agreed and he or his IT dept. went to work on erasing the virus, but not very well. The following day I got another call from “Microsoft” and the same spiel. I told him that someone else had called the previous day and I had agreed to pay the $100 to fix my computer, but as yet the computer still wasn’t functioning properly. This new guy named George (also with an Indian accent) said that Jim didn’t know what he was talking about, that there would be no charge to fix my computer, but that if I wanted, I could agree to a 6-month for $99, a 1-year for $199 or a two-year service contract for $299, my choice. I told him I was confused, but he advised me not to deal with Jim ever again and that he, George, would really fix my computer, which took about 5 hours (I guess those guys worked on commission and they were having a fight over which one would get the credit for my computer work.) Well, it turned out that George actually did fix the problem—I wonder how THAT happened—and now he wanted to get my credit card number so he could charge me for my choice length service contract. I told him, honestly, I didn’t have a charge card available, but to send me a bill and I would send him a check for the amount. He reluctantly agreed, but I never did get the bill. In retrospect, I don’t know how or why my computer actually did work after that, and I never heard from that particular “Microsoft” bunch ever again.
U.S. Gov ADMITS They Are Readying “Kill Chain” Around China
Has anyone at your workplace ever been fired for something they said or did?
4 years ago, she was in procurement and I was in sales. We worked in a trading company. (let’s call her ‘Jane’ here.)
Me: ‘Can you please share the price of the inquiry from X company?’
Jane: ‘OK, I will send you an email in 10 minutes.’
Me: ‘Cool, thanks!’
20 minutes later
Jane: ‘Sorry the price sent 10 minutes ago was wrong.’
Me: ‘Oh shit, we already quoted the client. Let me give him a call real quick. Please make sure to send the correct one this time.’
Jane: ‘Ok, sorry bout that.’
20 minutes later
Jane: ‘Hey…. I apologize. But the price was still not correct.’
Me: ‘……(sign) Alright, let me call the client real quick. Meanwhile can you please please prepare the correct price and send it out ASAP? ’
Jane: ‘I will. This time, it will be correct.’
Me: ‘Awesome, if my help is needed, you know where to find me.’
20 minutes later
Jane: ‘Hey……’
Me: ‘Hey…..’
Jane: ‘It’s about the price.’
Me: ‘Please don’t tell me, it’s wrong again.’
Jane: ‘……..’ (she nodded)
Me: ‘………..Alright, please go back to your seat first. We will talk later.’
I called a flash meeting with her manager and mine. Went through all the communication between Jane and the supplier. We found out that Jane chatted with the supplier via WhatsApp only without asking for email confirmation so of course price could change at any time. We gave her a chance to explain and she couldn’t.
A few months later, I heard Jane had resigned. Or should I say she was pressured as the company did not want to pay compensation? Whatever it was, her skills were not suitable for the position. It was best for her and company.
Bobcat story
What are some psychological facts that people don’t know?
- The mere exposure effect: The more you see something, the more you like it. This is why advertisers repeat slogans and brands use familiar logos.
- We tend to believe people notice our mistakes or imperfections more than they actually do.
- The sunk cost fallacy: People are more likely to continue an endeavor the more they have already invested in it, even if it’s no longer worthwhile.
- Social loafing: People exert less effort when working in a group than when working alone.
- The more witnesses to an emergency, the less likely any one person is to intervene. Everyone might be looking to see if someone else will take action first.
- The confirmation bias: People tend to seek out information that confirms their existing beliefs and disregard information that contradicts them.
- How information is presented can influence how people perceive it. Frame your speech nicely….organizing speech is as important as the speech itself.
- The in-group favoritism: People favor members of their own group over outsiders.
- The placebo effect: A belief that a treatment will work can actually produce positive effects. Some medicines are just flavored chewable but due the outer packing and doctor’s prescription, patient believe it as cure and thus see tangible results.
- People are seen as more likeable after they make a minor mistake. They became humble and look for someone who doesn’t judge them on thier mistake.
- The false consensus effect: People overestimate the extent to which others share their beliefs and attitudes.
- The Dunning-Kruger effect: Unskilled people tend to overestimate their ability, while skilled people tend to underestimate theirs. You think you can be a chess grandmaster, but many a times a grandmaster thinks is not worthy of being one, although he is 100times better than you.
- The cryptomnesia effect: Unconsciously plagiarism where you mistakenly believe something you created is something you heard or experienced before. Pathetic ! You thought you heard this story somewhere but in reality it was your own creative innovation.
- People tend to attribute positive events to themselves and negative events to external factors.
- People perform better when they are being cheered on or believe they are part of a team. Yes! you can do it. We are all there for you, Give it your 100%
Scampi
The cooked garlic-butter combination may be poured over French bread and served with shrimp as a side dish.
Yield: 6 to 8 servings
Ingredients
- 4 pounds headless jumbo shrimp
- 1 lemon, divided
- 2 cups butter
- 1 teaspoon salt
- 6 cloves garlic
- 1 tablespoon finely-chopped parsley
- 1 tablespoon cayenne pepper
Instructions
- Thoroughly wash shrimp. Peel and place side by side in glass baking dish, making sure shrimp are not on top of each other.
- Squeeze juice of 1/2 lemon over shrimp.
- Slice remaining 1/2 lemon into 6 finely sliced pieces and place in baking dish.
- Melt butter.
- Finely chop garlic and place in butter.
- Add salt and chopped parsley to butter and garlic mixture.
- Sprinkle pepper over shrimp, then pour butter and garlic mixture over this.
- Cover tightly and bake at 350 degrees F for 30 minutes.
- Serve with cooked pasta if desired.
Hostage Negotiation
A Chinese person just told me about a ‘frog in a well’. What are some other Chinese sayings that non-Chinese people might be unaware of?
There are so many wise Chinese idioms and proverbs
that it would take an entire series of books to cover them. I send blog posts from a Chinese language site to my students who have an interest in ancient Chinese wisdom. So I’ll share a few of my favorite and the actual meanings.
In addition, I’ll share the ebook that has 10 more Idioms
for people who are interested in the Chinese language as well as culture.
But for those of you who aren’t sure what an idiom is, Chinese idioms, called (Zhōng guó chéng yŭ 中国成语), are well-known sayings or proverbs alluding to famous Chinese stories and historical events. They are not only a key part of Chinese language learning but are also priceless in understanding Chinese culture. Chinese idioms are deeply rooted in legacies and traditional culture, making the Chinese language more rich and fascinating. Each Chinese idiom carries profound meaning too. Some of the meaning can’t be understood from the context alone, so I’ll try to expand on the origins and significance.
“鸡毛蒜皮 (jīmáosuànpí)” may have a literal meaning of “chicken feathers and garlic skin” but the meaning has a logical reason. It is used to express that something is not important, or is simply worthless.
The story goes that a long time ago, there were two neighbors: One who lived in the East sold chickens for a living and one who lived in the West sold garlic for a living. Both families had a rather hard life. The family that sold chickens got up early to pluck “鸡毛（jīmáo) chicken feathers”, and as a result, the entire floor was covered in chicken hair. The family who sold garlic also woke up early, but to peel garlic, and their entire floor was covered with “蒜皮（suànpí) garlic skin”. The two families had originally lived in harmony. However, they did have a source of conflict, the wind.
When the wind blew westward, from the East, the “鸡毛（jīmáo) chicken feathers” would be blown into the western neighbor’s yard, while when the wind blew eastward, from the West, “蒜皮（suànpí) garlic skin” would be blown into the eastern neighbor’s yard. The two neighbors often quarreled over such nuance. At one point, the conflict between the two neighbors escalated to the point where they both fought, and eventually went to court to settle the provocative matter. The Judge learned that they were arguing over such a small issue, and said: “Such a small provocation is not worth being settled in court. You have wasted my time, therefore you should be punished.” Some people said the judge was unfair, while others said the ruling was fitting, and that both claims seemed to make sense. Later, the story spread, and eventually “鸡毛蒜皮 (jīmáosuànpí)” became known as a phrase that denotes trivial, unremarkable things or very small things.
“对牛弹琴 (Duìniútánqín)” is used by Chinese people to describe someone who is explaining something complicated to a fool, or sometimes this idiom is used to describe a person who is trying to tell something to the wrong audience.
It literally means to play the harp to a cow…
During the Warring States Period, there was a musician named Gongming Yi, who played musical instruments very well. There were a great number of people fond of listening to him play, and who respected him greatly.
One day, Gongming Yi saw a cow when he was relaxing in the countryside. He thought, “Everybody compliments my music. Why don’t I play some music for this cow?”
He played a piece of elegant quaint music for the cow, but the cow just kept grazing the grass with its head down.
He played another piece of joyful music, but the cow still kept its head down to graze the grass and totally ignored him.
Gongming Yi showed off all his skills, but the cow still ignored him. He was disappointed and started to question his ability until a passerby said to him, “It’s not because your ability is inadequate. It is because the cow can not understand music at all.”
The moral of the two stories are useful but hard to understand from context but it helps to know the background information.
Self Belief
How do I understand Chinese culture?
Fascinating question.
Having lived in China for several years, and being married to a Chinese wife, I think my first impulse is to say, “don’t expect to ever fully understand Chinese culture.”
Not because they are so hard to understand, but because that thing we call China is a huge place, with a long history, and it would be wrong to expect to ever fully grasp what it means to be Chinese, or do things the Chinese way.
All that hedging aside, I do think you could be pragmatic about it.
Presuming you are simply trying to get on in modern day China’s culture, I would give you the following list of tips:
- Know your place; in China, family always come first. Then come relatives and old friends. New friends are welcome, but won’t be prioritized.
- Food is China’s unofficial religion. You will be asked “have you eaten?” in the same way you will be asked “how are you doing?” in the anglosphere, and they mean it. Never downplay the importance of a meal. They dedicate an amazing amount of time, resources, and energy to making, eating, and procuring meals. If you’re French, you’ll understand.
- “Saving Face” is everything. There are a hundred ways in which the Chinese can acknowledge or humiliate you, and it all boils down to small details like who sits where, when do you get to speak, what sort of dishes are served… if you can read that code, you know your place with them.
- Negotiation; the Chinese will offer you a choice even when it is clear what you want. It’s one of the prime directives of China. The other person must always have a choice. That way, you may find yourself playing cat and mouse with other pedestrians many more times than you would in the western world, because one indication of intended direction just isn’t enough; no, you will have to swerve around fellow pedestrians in the last moment, because they will keep offering you options till the last second. Whenever I sit in a restaurant with my wife, she drives me crazy with the question “… or would you like THAT dish instead?” To which my retort tends to be, “no, goddammit! I want the thing I said I wanted the first time!”
- Final agreements are not final. How many times did we put a final signature under something, only to find ourselves reconvening over a lavish meal for a complete re-negotiation.
- Change your spokesperson, and you start from scratch. The Chinese build relations with a company or institution based on a personal, individual relationship. Take that person away, and you are back to zero.
- Wastefulness is a sign of idiocy. I have yet to see a respected Chinese person with a wasteful attitude. Economy and efficiency are the pillars of Chinese success, and those who are successful there will possess them.
- Nature is beautiful – but only few have a realistic understanding of nature. Instead, there is a highly domesticated image of nature in China, sporting talking, vegetarian cats, highly polished flower arrangements, and so on. The Chinese romanticize nature, but don’t understand it.
- Outlooks are strangely short term and long term at the same time. The business world expects fast turnarounds and quick growth, while politics and others allow for long time spans for things to develop.
On the whole, I like Chinese culture. When you are there, you feel a new mellowness, surrounded by abundance and the dynamics of an old culture that is mercifully pragmatic and philosophical.
Rory Gallagher-Bad Penny (Rockpalast 1982)
Have you ever gotten a second opinion from a doctor that was drastically different than what you were originally told by your first doctor?
In 2011 I had an excruciating pain in the left side of my back. I called 911 and was taken to the ER where they diagnosed kidney stones, gave me a blood thinner and did a CT. The on call urologist came and said I had renal cell carcinoma and said to make an appointment to have the kidney removed asap. He said you have two kidneys and survive just fine on one. I did some research online and saw that Cleveland Clinic did an operation where they could remove half a kidney. I saw another Nephrologist in town first who confirmed the cancer diagnosis and the conceited little twerp said they can’t do the half kidney because the lesion was in the wrong place. I went to Cleveland anyway and made an appointment with the doctor who wrote the kidney textbook med students use. He did his own CT with dye and said, “Ya know this isn’t taking the dye like renal carcinoma would, let’s wait and do another CT in three months. If it is cancer it’s slow growing so it’s not a big risk.” I went back home to California and returned three months later for another scan. This time the lesion had actually reduced in size and the Cleveland doctor said the lesion was actually “a cyst that had burst” not cancer. Today, 11 years later, I have two good kidneys because I got the second opinion. Choose your second opinion from a place like Cleveland Clinic that does research if you can.
I just got fired. Now my former boss (the one who let me go) is asking me where some important documents are. How should I respond?
I just got fired. Now my former boss (the one who let me go) is asking me where some important documents are. How should I respond?
The word “toxic” gets thrown around far too often, I think. And yet, I can’t really think of any other word (except for possibly “hostile”) that describes where I used to work. The company no longer exists, having been acquired a couple times over, but I still am hesitant to name it because the industry is rather incestuous and the people are still around even if the company isn’t.
Nevertheless, perhaps this story can act as both a cautionary tale as well as a moment of schadenfreude.
After I had been with the company for about a little less than a year, they hired a new WorldWide VP of Sales who is about as close to pure evil as I ever experienced (and this is coming from someone who worked at Apple!). When he came in, he brought with him a series of sycophants who were as insane as he was malicious.
I was low enough in the food chain to have zero influence or power, but high enough that I was in an extremely vulnerable and visible position. As this VP began clearing house of the long-time veterans of the company, it was only a matter of time before he got to me.
For all the writing on the wall, I was still unprepared for when it happened. I naively believed that the work that I was doing was critical and that I was irreplaceable (at least at that moment). I had the sole responsibility of developing the documentation and training materials for a set of equipment that cost hundreds of thousands of dollars – each.
For those that don’t know, much of the material that is sold by large corporations (Cisco, HPE, Lenovo, etc.) is not designed or built in-house. Often other companies make various components that fit into the equipment; in some cases they make all of the equipment and these larger companies simply rebrand the whole shebang. This was one of those cases.
My company had created an entire portfolio that was going to be rebranded by another multi-billion dollar conglomerate. This was the largest deal they had ever signed with this company, and it was a Big Deal™. Not only did the information had to be 100% accurate, but it had to be branded with the other company’s logos, document rules, etc. On top of it all, the material was highly technical.
It took eight months of 10–12 hour days to complete. The launch was set for November 9. I had non-stop travel booked through the following March to travel world-wide and train the other company’s sales force on the equipment, how it worked, and so on. I was the only one scheduled to do this. I figured there was no way they would let me go with so much on the line.
Little did I know.
Back to the evil VP. He was notorious for walking around the office at around 7 p.m. to see who was still there, or who had “left work early.” My cubicle was just outside of his office, so there was no way he would have been able to miss whether I was there or not.
As it happens, my job was to be a road warrior, so I wasn’t supposed to be there. In fact, if I was in the office, it meant that I wasn’t doing my job!
Remember when I said that he brought some insane people with him? Well, one of those idiots remains to this day as the worst example of corporate nepotism I’ve ever seen. The man was an ADD basket case on crack. He was brought in as a VP of Public Relations, and then added a VP of Marketing title when the WWVP of Sales fired the original guy. All of this, and he couldn’t spell to save his life (he once wrote that he was a “VP of Pubic Relations” on his email before realizing that he could save a signature to automatically insert it. No, I’m not making that up).
Anyway this idiot was incensed that I was “never” in the office. Despite the fact that it was my job to be a road warrior, he was livid. And, because he was a good little yes-man, he decided he would make up all kinds of stories that he “imagined” I was doing because I wasn’t in the office. As I said, my cubicle was right outside of the WWVP’s and so he would pass by an empty cubicle several times a day.
So, without me knowing, their plan was set in motion irrespective of the actual work that I was doing.
Remember that the official launch of this product portfolio was November 9? Well, after working for so long on developing the materials, working with the bigger company, and essentially exhausting myself, I decided to take a week’s vacation at the end of October in anticipation of the upcoming launch juggernaut.
I traveled back to England (where I had lived before getting this job) to visit friends and family. I told everyone where I was going, kept a paper-trail, even had a team dinner the night before with the Business Development Manager (“<BDM>”) responsible for the overall relationship and dollar figure with the big company and talked about my holiday plans. Everyone knew where I was going, when, and why. I thought it was all good.
Big mistake.
Halfway through my week in vacation, I got a phone call from my manager.
“J, sorry to bother you on your vacation,” he began. I could tell that something was wrong.
“No problem,” I said, knowing that there was definitely a problem.
“Did <the BDM> know that you were going on vacation this week?”
“Of course,” I said. “We had dinner the night before and I told him all about it, plus it has been in my weekly reports for the past month.”
“Okay, well, <the WWVP> asked <the BDM> where you were today and he said he didn’t know.”
My blood ran cold. I knew what this meant. I actually wondered if I needed to change my flights and return back to the States. I asked my manager (who I truly liked and respected) if I should do that. If he’d said yes, I’d do it.
“No,” he said. “You enjoy your vacation. You deserved it. We can sort this out when you get back.”
As you can imagine, I didn’t enjoy the rest of my holiday. Not one little bit, Sam I Am.
The following Monday I was back in the U.S., and back at work. My manager – who lived in Colorado – had flown into town and met with me. I was surprised to see him.
“Let’s go get some coffee,” he said.
“Okay,” I said. “But I have a standing meeting with <BDM>. I’ll -”
“Don’t worry about it,” my manager said. “He knows.”
I followed him out the hall, past the break room, down the stairs, through the lobby, and out the front door. All the while, he was asking me about my vacation, about visiting friends and family in the U.K., and so on. Small talk. Innocuous. Terrifying.
The local Starbucks was closed. The donut shop had run out of coffee. It was starting to look like a very strange Terry Gilliam storyline as we looked for a place to sit down and chat. Time was getting on, and so we somehow found ourselves inside of a grocery store that had an internal food counter. We got two coffees and sat in the only two chairs – green plastic patio furniture set up in front of the counter. It was surreal.
He looked around, fully aware that this wasn’t ideal. “Not exactly what I was hoping for,” he said. “I’m sorry about this.”
“Just… tell me,” I said.
He was incredibly apologetic. I actually started to feel bad for him. “<The BDM> threw you under the bus,” he said. “He claimed that he had no knowledge that you were going on vacation, that you hadn’t told anyone, and had just disappeared.”
Once again, I pointed to my weekly reports as well as the ten witnesses at the dinner the night before I left. He simply shook his head, sadly.
“It doesn’t matter,” he said. “The WWVP wants you gone. They were going to fire you while you were in England, but I convinced them that wouldn’t be a good idea.”
We both knew what he meant. It was a recipe for a lawsuit, and the company was highly allergic to lawsuits. Especially of the employment kind.
He proceeded to lay it out for me. I could either go on a Professional Improvement Plan (PIP), or I could willingly take a not-so-generous “mutual separation” package. If I went with the plan and failed to “improve,” the package would be completely off the table.
“While I cannot legally suggest to you what to do,” he said, “I can tell you that they have made up their minds.”
I thought about the launch materials. “That’s going live in a week,” I said.
“I know.”
“What am I supposed to do with all that work?”
He swallowed and tried to keep his voice and face neutral. “They want you to destroy it.”
I was aghast. “They want me to what?!”
He slowly shook his head. He couldn’t believe it either. “<The BDM> doesn’t trust you,” he said. The words stung, but the level of projection was astounding. The BDM had shown himself to be untrustworthy repeatedly (not just in this regard), but knew how to play the political game much, much better than I.
“They don’t want me to give it to anyone else to take over?”
That’s when he said the most bizarre thing of all, and it was obvious that it pained him to say it out loud. “No,” he said. “It’s no one else’s job.”
“What about <a Technical Marketing Engineer on the team>?” I asked.
“That’s not his job.”
“What about all that training with the big customer?” I asked, dumbfounded.
“That’s not your problem any more, J,” he said.
The final piece of the floor fell out from underneath me. Not only was I being fired, but they were willing to sabotage multi-million dollar contracts to do it.
The paperwork was straightforward. I would receive a month’s salary in exchange for walking away. The termination papers were unequivocal – all company material, all of it, was to be completely destroyed and I was to keep no record of any of it. The penalties for holding on to “confidential company information” were severe. They may have been allergic to being sued, but they chomped at the bit to be the ones suing.
There was nothing I could do but comply. I deleted all of the materials I had worked so diligently on for the year, wiped the laptop clean, and returned everything that belonged to the company. Included were technical manuals, instructions, sales training (both technical and business), networking diagrams, demonstration videos, and lengthy email exchanges between me and the other company that detailed the milestones and directions that they wanted (which were extensive and involved). All gone.
Since then, people have asked me how it felt to have destroyed almost a year’s worth of work. The truth of the matter is that it actually felt like a huge weight had been taken off my shoulders. It had been incredibly stressful, and I knew that the upcoming months were going to be equally (if not more so) tense. While I had been on a deadline for the launch, there were going to be quotas to fill, sales cycles to adhere to, revenue projections to achieve, and so on.
As my manager said, “not my problem.”
Less than two months later in the beginning of the new year, I got a phone call from my (now former) manager. “J, I have a question for you, and I want you to answer with only a yes or no,” he said.
I had a feeling I knew where this was going. “Okay,” I said.
“Did you keep any of the training materials?”
“No,” I said truthfully. “I was told to destroy them, so I did.”
It was probably more than I should have said, but on the off chance they were forcing him to call me from a recorded line (the call waiting had the company name, not his personal number), I wanted to be clear as to what happened.
“Thank you,” he said flatly. “That’s all I needed.”
“However,” I said, “I’m willing to recreate the materials for a consulting fee.” I was half-joking, because I needed the money. I doubted they would consider it for even a second, though.
Keeping his voice even, he replied, “I’ll tell them that, but I don’t think they’re going to take you up on it.”
With that, he hung up. Indeed, they didn’t take me up on it, but then again I didn’t expect them to. After all, they had screwed themselves over before, why stop now?
I never expected to hear anything else. I was persona non grata at the company, evidently, but I had seen that when they had been letting people go month after month. Once people were gone, they were practically erased from collective memory.
I heard the rest of the story about two months later, and it was glorious.
I happened to have lunch one day with the Technical Marketing Engineer that I had proposed giving the launch materials to (but was declined). It turns out that the fallout was nothing short of spectacular.
It turns out that my former company had never bothered to communicate with the big customer that they had let me go. In turn, none of the dozens of training sessions were cancelled. The company had flown in sales and engineering staff for these multi-day training sessions only to find that my company was a no show.
No training meant no sales. No sales meant no revenue. No revenue meant quotas being unmet. No quotas meant penalties.
One of the stipulations of the contract was that if X amount of solutions were not sold by the end of the fiscal year (which ended for that company on January 31), my former company would be forced to pay $1.5M in “make good” penalties.
That’s why my ex-manager had called in the beginning of January – he knew that these deadlines were coming up. The week before the end of January, the <BDM> was feeling the pressure from the WWVP because he was getting nastygrams from the big customer about the no-shows and lack of training. That meant that the <BDM> had questions to answer.
“How could this have happened?” the <BDM> was shouting on the staff call. “How could we not have been prepared for this? We knew about this for over a year?”
“Are you kidding?” one of the engineers had responded. “You fired the guy who did it!”
Sadly, for me, there was not much joy to take from this other than a bit of petty schadenfreude. This was in the middle of the severe US recession and I wouldn’t find another position until the middle of the year.
The damage to the relationship was irreversible and possibly incalculable. The portfolio had cost hundreds of millions to develop, but I don’t believe the sales ever crossed over the million-dollar mark. It certainly didn’t recoup the substantial investment. The big customer company forced new rules to protect themselves (they had already been publicizing the launch date themselves, only to have to beg off their customers).
About a year after I got a new job, the entire technology division of that product portfolio got sold off to another company. The reputation of my former company in this technology was shot beyond repair. All in all, they took a bath of several hundred million dollars in the investment.
Is it all because they fired me? Oh, hell no.
It is, however, the butterfly effect of what can happen when ego, corporate policy, politics, and unmitigated insanity drives decisions without understanding the consequences.
Nevertheless, whatever you do, do not hold on to the materials when they tell you to destroy them. Not only could you find yourself on the business end of a legal hissy fit, but you may also rob yourself of some spectacular avenge-by-proxy scenarios.
A Chinese road
Is there any hope for reconciliation between Taiwan and mainland China?
Any hope for China-Taiwan reconciliation? It all depends on USA
Let us look at the Ukraine war.
Putin told a former US journalist (if I remember correctly, his name is Carlson) that:
Before the Ukraine war started, Russia & Ukraine had signed a peace agreement & not went into war.
But … we all see the Ukraine war because … right away, former UK PM B Johnson went to Ukraine in person to push Ukraine to go into war (by provoking Russia).
We all know UK & USA are co-conspirators of the Ukraine war.
When China proposed Ukraine-Russia reconciliation. Again right away, US president Biden went in person to Ukraine to support the war … USA wants the war to continue.
Both USA & UK want the Ukraine war, so that they can make money & at the same time weaken Europe’s economy
Back to Taiwan.
It is not up to Taiwan to decide its future. It is USA.
USA will never let Taiwan-China reconciliation to happen.
1, Taiwan is a cash cow for USA to sell out-of-date weapons & a cash cow for US politicians to shout support so as to get an appearance fee. It is easy money. Dont even need acting skills. Just shouting empty support is enough.
2, Taiwan can be used as a tool by USA to irritate China. Like a mosquito or fly that bugs you.
See, USA+UK have successfully bugged Russia to use military.
USA+UK are the trouble makers in the world. Look at Latin America. Mideast, SCS, even Europe thru Ukraine.
Those corrupted Taiwanese politicians are happy to serve USA too. It is a 2 way corruption.
WoCuDaDeMa
What is the wildest reaction you have seen to someone getting fired?
I’ve been a partner at a CPA firm and a CFO and COO in for profit companies. I’ve hired and fired a LOT of people over the years.
One termination that stands out is when I was hired to turn around a high-tech manufacturing Company. During our review of expenses we discovered that one of our middle managers was using the Company’s shipping department to ship products for her ETSY business. It wasn’t a ton of money, about $10K per year, but people knew she was stealing so I decided fire her.
Over the years I’ve learned to write a script for myself and the HR manager. Our plan was to read our parts, hand her the termination documents, and then escort her out of the building.
As soon as we entered her office she knew she was getting fired. She was angry and belligerent during the entire process, yelling and shouting. At one point, she pointed to one of her drawers and said she had copies of everything and could prove that she had paid everything back. She said that multiple times.
I was pretty confident that she was lying so I would simply wait for her to stop and then continue on with the termination script. That really pissed her off. She wanted us to engage with her. So what should have taken 15 minutes took a terrible hour. The HR manager and I watched her pack her things in a box and then we escorted her out of the building.
After she was gone we both walked back to her office to check her drawer … and it was completely empty. She was full of shit to the end.
Having a conversation
What would you do to fix plea bargaining in the US justice system?
The TV show is intense. Heart pounding music slows in the background for the conclusion. The camera, with soft focus filter, closes in on a tiny woman who has been charged with murder in the first degree. Her husband of thirty years was an abusive sonofabitch who beat her to within inches of her life. She’s still wearing a cast from his last attack. She’s frightened, mascara smeared, eyes wide.
The hard boiled, fry-em-all prosecutor softens his voice for the first time in fifteen episodes.
We’ve got you cold in a case of murder one Mrs. MacSuffers. But, it’s the holidays and I’m feeling generous. I’ll let you plead down to a case of aggravated jaywalking.
TV’s portrayal of plea bargains is always fun. On the flip side there’s the tatted-up gang member who’s been caught selling drugs in a kindergarten, but pleads out to a case of having a wildly inappropriate waistline on his saggy pants…
So what is it? Is plea bargaining a safety valve for the wrongfully charged, or an escape mechanism for the horrifically lucky?
Neither.
I understand that in some states plea bargaining works (sort of) like what we see in the movies. But, in the federal system it’s not like that at all. It’s more like being told you’ll be forced to eat a gallon of vomit with possible extra courses, or simply open up and eat a spoonful of live meal worms (while smiling).
In the feds there is no bargaining. The prosecutor tells your attorney what sentence they’re willing to offer in exchange for not having to go through the work of a trial. There’s no counter offer. Take it or leave it. Like a water monopoly, you must submit to their will.
There’s a reason monopolies are frowned upon…
Notice there’s no judge in this entire affair. Judges are irrelevant to plea bargains. All power in the court is handed to the prosecutor. If the accused takes the plea, it’s taken to the judge as a package deal. All the robe has to do is sign on the dotted line and another case is removed from the docket. Since the judge is usually a former prosecutor… it feels like the right move.
So… how to fix this system? You can’t. Plea bargaining is morally corrupt. You can’t negotiate with a guy that’s holding a gun to your head. Telling someone that if they use their constitutionally guaranteed rights, you’ll make it painful as all hell, is a violation of what the framers stood for.
But plea bargains are a necessary evil! Without them the system would grind to a halt!
‘xactly. 😉
First off, while the use of plea bargains goes back to the 1800’s, most places in the US didn’t consider plea bargains palatable until the 1960’s. Plea bargains became mechanized “justice.” We gave up our rights in exchange for… well… for putting more people behind bars.
This meat ain’t gonna grind itself!
So what happens if we ban plea bargains?
- It becomes tedious for the system to take someone through the judicial process. Shouldn’t it be cumbersome to deprive a person of their liberty?
- Prosecutors can no longer go after every single case that’s brought to them. They would have to pick and choose and make sure to go after the worst cases. I’m not at all opposed to a triage system.
- Lots of lower level cases might be tossed out. These would be nonviolent, victimless, cases where the accused has no prior criminal history. If you think they’re getting off scot free, then you don’t have any experience with this system. Just an accusation is life altering.
- Our prisons would shrink in number and size. The percentage of our GDP that we spend on warehousing human beings would drop to the level we see in other countries. Those funds could be put into worthwhile endeavors like education. The net effect being a lower crime rate over a long time line.
Plea bargaining isn’t the root cause of the evil that is our “justice” system, but it’s one of the largest cogs. I’m all for tossing a boot in to see how the mechanism crunches to a halt.
Free Owl
What are some unwritten social rules everyone should know?
- If you are borrowing it for the third time, you need one of your own.
- If you’re the only one who shares the ride, sit in front.
- Don’t steal each other’s best karaoke songs.
- If you’re posting a picture on social media, make sure everyone looks fine in it.
- If someone has legally changed their name, don’t ask what their ‘real’ or original name was.
- Don’t ask a date how much money they make. If you do care, go to dating sites that verify people’s income.
- If you receive an invitation to a party, don’t bring along a date/friend/child/pet/whoever that wasn’t invited.
- Don’t touch people without permission, even if they’re pregnant or have cool hair.
- Don’t make plans with other friends in front of friends who aren’t invited.
- If you have two friends over, who don’t know each other, you don’t leave them alone.
- If someone is paying for your food, don’t order something expensive.
- When someone insults themselves, disagree.
If the damn world hates China, why can’t countries boycott China until they remove Xi Jinping from power/Disband the CPC/Make Taiwan a country? If China really is the “Great Satan”, then maybe we should start treating them like one.
It may have been possible if the United States or United Kingdom or other nations thad not committed too many atrocities across the world.
Take Serbia
Everyone remembers the 1999 bombings as if it was yesterday. Everyone remembers the role the US had in breaking up of Yugoslavia and knows if the US had wanted to, they could have done so peacefully
Vucic is pro europe and pro US but he knows he simply can’t be anti Russian or Chinese
In Serbia, China is a friend who builds railways and who suffered when their embassy was bombed in 1999
Russia is a greater friend and between 65% to 81% of the masses support Russia openly
Guess what?
MOST OF THEM HATE THE UNITED STATES
So no matter how much Blinken bleats about the risks of China and Russia
Serbians will say “Look. Even if they destroy all of us, we would rather trust them than trust you”
The closer EU comes to US, the more suspicious the Serbians become
Take India
In 2021, Modi was leaning to burn bridges with China completely or to the maximum
Yet when India needed the West for Vaccine materials, they flatly refused and imposed export restrictions on their surplus vaccines and materials
We didn’t forget
They demanded our chloro quinine tablets and we complied putting our Rheumatoid arthritis patients at risk for 6 months
They didn’t lift a little finger
Not to mention the farmers protests where they demanded we don’t impose protectionism and export wheat despite a shortage in India back then (Modi didn’t)
So we simply dont trust them an inch
Take African Nations
The Westerners have plundered, looted and enslaved them for generations and generations
How can Africa trust them at all?
Many Africans LOATHE the French or British
Many Africans LOATHE the United States
They have ruined Libya, Sudan and other nations by provoking Civil War and stealing resources
The Africans cannot ever trust them and regard China and Russia as what we call attractive parallel powers so that they can make Independent decisions and not have the West meddle in them
Best example was Niger
When they kicked out the French, Macron went with his tail between his legs because if he had pushed a war, more African nations would have gone closer to Russia and China
Take Vietnam
Vietnamese remember Agent Orange and it’s use on Civilians from 1968 to 1973
Hoàng Phan would have more details but they were terrible to the Vietnamese
You really expect Vietnamese to jump and trust the US because an Indian origin Nut case Vice President shakes her booty and gives a silly little laugh and says “Freedom and Democracy”
NOT A CHANCE
They want to do things Independently which means they will keep China close and do trade with China and if the US plays too many games, become closer to China and Russia
Take the Middle East
In 60 years, the Middle East remains a war zone because of the United States
The Arabs LOATHE THE US WITH A VISCERAL HATRED
I mean “Want to see your children choke on their blood and die screaming for mommy” type of hatred
Not the “I want your girl to break up with you” type of hatred
Iraq, Syria were both destroyed only because they chose to follow a path that the US didn’t like
Others complied because THEY WERE TOO SCARED OF THE US
As Russia and China grow in power and as the US grows weaker – the Arabs are slowly sharpening their knives and waiting
Houthis, Hamas and Hezbollah are KICKING ASS against the vastly superior forces arrayed against them through a lovely mix of Strategy and Geopolitics
Take South America
The US claims South America is their sphere of influence
The US has blockaded Cuba
The US has sanctioned Venezuela
The US threatens Brazil from time to time
The South Americans HATE THE AMERICANS OR ENVY THEM OR BOTH depending on the situation
Mexicans go to Texas and California because they argue it was their country once
So as I have shown you, you have Europeans, Africans, Middle Easterners, Asians, South Americans who have no fondness for the Americans and downright hate their guts at times
They have no bone to pick with China or Russia
China and Russia keeps the world neutral and that these nations like
The Alternate is to allow these Evil Demons to allow their hegemony to continue as overlords
So whose the real Satan here huh???
Taquitos
These are the best taquitos! I like to serve them with guacamole and sour cream for dipping. They’re certainly not traditional taquitos, but they are delicious.
Ingredients
- Pork, beef or chicken
- 1 can Mexican beer
- Garlic salt, to taste
- Pepper, to taste
- Cumin (comino), to taste
- 1 envelope onion soup mix
- 1 can or jar chile verde
- Melted cheese for drizzling (optional)
Instructions
- Add all ingredients except melted cheese to a slow cooker.
- Cook for 8 to 10 hours on LOW.
- Drain juice.
- Put filling on corn tortillas and roll up. Secure with a wooden pick.
- Fry until tortilla is crispy. Remove wooden pick to serve.
- Drizzle with melted cheese, if desired.
Damn
Why does China want to gain control of Taiwan so badly? If Hong Kong is an indicator, any perceived economic benefits China may expect would diminish once they took control & many markets that trade with Taiwan would stop if China was in control.
They don’t realy want control of Taiwan, they don’t want the USA to have control of Taiwan, that is the red line, that can never be crossed, China is quite happy with the status quo. They have said that often enough. As far as markets stop? Are you dreaming? China is Taiwans biggest trading partner. If Taiwan was governed by the mainland their trade would almost double, AND Taiwan would be far FAR richer, because they wouldn’t need to buy a single out of date weapon from the U.S., they would save BILLIONS. That much is obvious. Also there would be no need for Taiwan to have its own military, that would be another huge saving. Just that the poor DPP would be no more, that’s why they are so set against it.
What did your mom do that became the stuff of legend?
When I was a boy, I had real problems with certain foods. I couldn’t have butter on anything or drink milk straight (milk on cereal or chocolate milk was fine).
Over when I wad left with a bunch of kids at a get-together, lunch was served and included butter on everything, and everyone was expected to drink their milk. (This had happened before and I knew to stay quiet, not really eat anything, not make a big deal, get something later, etc.) One of the supervising women noticed, however, and felt the need to make an example of me and insisted that I eat everything up right in front of everyone. I told them that if they forced me to eat it I would get sick and it would be their fault.
Boy! did that lady get pissed when I said that! You know what happened next! She forced me to eat that food and I got sick all over the table with all the food on it and, boy, did the stuff hit the fan. My mom arrived just as the lady opened up on me. Mom looked puzzled as I had handled situations like this before with no problems. Mom announced who she was, told the lady (not unkindly) to quit yelling at me, and asked, “What is the problem?”
The lady threw me under the bus and said how outrageous it was for ”a child” to dictate what he/she would eat and look what I had done! My mom paused a minute and said very slowly, “I can’t believe my son wouldn’t have told you he would get sick if he ate these things and he should have, and I am sorry . . . . . .” and then all the kids started shouting, “He did tell them, he did!” (I did have some loyal friends.) My mom looked up and said, “WHAT?” “He told you?” “and you still made him eat it?!” The lady says, “Well, well. . .it’s not up to him to tell us. . . .” Mom’s face got red. “You are an idiot and should never be left around children! If you or anyone EVER IGNORES something my child says, there will be hell to pay! Do you understand me?! This is all your fault, and yet you blame a child! How despicable!” Mom tore into her for a few more minutes, and then looked down at me, and I will never forget, she looked right into my eyes and said, “It wasn’t your fault, Spencer. They should have listened — it was their fault, they can clean It up — we’re leaving!” She grabbed my hand, and we held our heads high as we walked gracefully to the car.
I know that I was not all in the right on this one — it’s hard for me to judge — but tas an example of a mom sticking up for her child, that day shone brightly. That kind of thing stays with you forever.
Years of prep
I am traveling to the US and I have a 16 hour layover at Heathrow Airport in London. How should I spend my time at the airport?
I have been avoiding answering this question for a long time due to the fear that people might exploit the option and the UK might put a ban of sorts in place in the future. *kidding
But I guess it’s time to let the secret out. Brexit is already through!
So, back in 2016 when I was travelling to Indiana for my internship I had a layover of 23 hours in Heathrow. Don’t ask me how but just know that “Indian dads have a mind of their own and never let them book tickets for you” lesson learnt the hard way.
Like everyone else I was going through Google and Quora reading up on what to do in the airport or can you get out without visa or what kind of visa is needed. Most of the content just beats around the bush and doesn’t provide any valuable information to come to a conclusion. The proper way would be to get a visa but let’s be honest, who likes to spend that much money for just a day? While surfing through the internet one line struck my mind and stayed: “it depends on the immigration officer.”
When I landed in Heathrow, all I was hoping for is to ask and who knows what will happen. After filling out the immigration card and contemplating for 15 minutes I finally made my way to the immigration line. My heart was racing with excitement and fear at the same time. I get pulled over often maybe it’s my beard or the sheepish looks.
Immigration office -Imo
Myself – me
After initial hi and how you doing, I hand over my passport
Me- I don’t have a visa and was wondering if I could go out to spend my layover outside
Imo- I don’t understand
Me- I have 23 hours of layover and wanted to see if it’s possible for me to go out and visit few places.
Imo- looks at the cop standing near by and he walks up to the counter
Cop: where you coming from ?
Me- India
Cop: where are you going ?
Me- to Indiana via Chicago
Cop: show me your onward journey tickets
Me- *hands over the ticket
Cop: what’s your purpose of visit?
Me- I’m going for an internship/training with a golf club in Indiana.
Cop: you play golf
Me- a little bit but I’m more related on the management aspect
Cop: who is your favourite player
Me- Tiger woods
Cop&Imo- no way! He is my favourite player too.
Cop: what will you do if you go out?
Me- I’m an horticulturist and would like to visit the Royal Botanical Garden, Kew?
Cop: oh Nice and shakes his head at the imo and cop says have a nice day
Imo- stamps my passport and says I have visa for 2 days and make sure that I’m back for my flight.
Me- thank you so much and was showing all my 28 teeth at him.
I went out visited Kew Gardens, Buckingham Palace, the London Eye, Thames Bridge and few other places. It was one of the best days and even though I was tired I had to use the opportunity to its fullest.
I strongly recommend that people not approach immigration officer if your layover is less than 10 hours.
A fruit of feminism
What do you say when you run into an old boss who fired you?
As a teenager, I worked as a busboy at a Mexican restaurant for $4 an hour. It wasn’t much, but it covered my gas money and car maintenance (my parents wouldn’t pay for those things, nor should they). The general manager loved my impeccable work ethic and my honesty!
But one day, a new assistant general manager appeared, an intimidating red-headed woman who seemed perpetually angry. One Saturday, I worked from 10:00 a.m. until 6:00 p.m. as scheduled. I was about to leave when the new assistant manager told me to stay until midnight (to cover for another busboy who didn’t show up). I had other plans. This was incredibly late notice! Most people would have just walked out. But instead of complaining, I dutifully worked the entire 14-hour shift.
I got really hungry, and very tired, because she wouldn’t allow me to take a 15-minute break. I was too young to know that breaks were mandated by law. I wasn’t allowed to even take one minute off during that 14-hour span. As a taller than average teenage boy with a huge appetite, I became extremely hungry by 10:00 p.m. after no food for 12 hours. I was cleaning up the happy hour all-you-can-eat buffet when I spotted two burnt potato skins leftover. Nobody had eaten them because they were essentially inedible. They were about to be thrown in the trash. So I ate them.
The red-headed assistant manager called me into her office and yelled, “You stole company food!” I replied calmly, “But it was being thrown away, and you didn’t give me a lunch break nor a dinner break.” She didn’t know I was one of their best workers. She simply said, “You’re officially terminated.” She never even gave me a chance. And I’ve never forgotten that moment. It reaffirmed why I was going to college the following year on a full ride for mathematics and another full ride for violin. That college degree would allow me to have a career in an intellectual field where I’d be respected, rather than doing physical labor for the rest of my life with a boss who treats employees like servants.
My final reply to her was this. “The general manager will not be happy.” And indeed, he was furious the next day when he heard I had been fired. So he promptly fired the assistant who had fired me. A few years later, I earned my master’s degree in mathematics and never had to bus tables again!
POPA CHUBBY – Hey Joe ! Rockpalast [HDadv] Nov. 2011
This is great.