The world today is falling into an Abyss that was created by the United States, and many world “leaders” are deciding to either follow the United States, or to  get the Hell out of the way.

So we start with today’s installment…

Emperor Caligula the Sadist

Emperor Caligula of Rome is bound to top any list of crazy rulers. Caligula was a leader whose sadism and depravity seemed to have known no bounds. For a start, Caligula tried to instate his horse, Incitatus, as a consul. He appointed a priest to serve the horse and had a stunning marble stable built, complete with chairs and a sofa. This was more than a little eccentric.

Then there are the multiple tales of his sadism. For example, one day at the Circus Maximus, Caligula was enjoying the spectacle when suddenly it became apparent the organizers had run out of criminals to feed to the lions. Caligula simply had the first five rows of spectators dragged from their seats and thrown into the arena. Hundreds died.

Another time, when someone insulted Caligula to his face, he responded by having the man’s family executed in front of a crowd. It began with the man and his wife. Then the children followed, one by one. Eventually, only the youngest daughter, a 12-year-old, was left alive.

The crowd was outraged but had stayed out of morbid curiosity. Before the young girl could be killed, a spectator cried out that she must be spared as she was a virgin. The girl was crying hysterically, having watched her family dispatched one by one. Caligula responded by ordering the executioner to rape the young girl in front of the crowd before strangling her to death.

Caligula was also said to have been beyond debauched. He publicly had sex with his three sisters at public banquets and games, sometimes on the banquet table itself. It has also been claimed that he prostituted his sisters out to other men for his entertainment and slept with his brother-in-law.

Historically, much has been made of Caligula’s sadism. Some historians have claimed that some of the worst tales about Caligula were exaggerated or made up in an attempt to discredit him after his death. However, enough sources exist to paint a picture of an emperor who was mad, bad, and totally insane.

What’s the dumbest case you’ve ever had on jury duty?

A young lady was at her parents, and the parents were fighting. Yelling, not anything physical. The wife says if the husband doesn’t shut up she was going to call the police. So, evidently he kept on, and she picks up the phone and dials 911. The daughter grabs the phone and puts it down, and told them both to behave like you would with your children. So, they do, and everything is back to normal when they hear the police knocking on the door. The daughter is arrested for interfering with a 911 call. When this went to court the state wanted her to get six months. We are all looking at each other, shaking our heads that something this stupid made it to court. Deliberation was very short, and of course she was found not guilty.

Soros has a deep hatred for China.

Because China has cost him billions of dollars twice.

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Soros is a speculator who makes his money by shorting and other means of financial leverage.

Back in 1998, his speculation triggered the East Asian economic crisis.

But during this economic crisis, China held out and managed to snipe Soros in Hong Kong, inflicting huge losses on Soros.

In mid-July 1997, January and May 1998, the Hong Kong dollar was subjected to three massive speculative sell-offs, the Hong Kong dollar exchange rate was hit, the Hang Seng and futures market indices plunged by more than 4,000 points and the market was in a state of extreme panic. Western public opinion jokingly claimed that Hong Kong had become an ATM for international speculators.

According to the plan of Soros and others, they will first short the Hong Kong dollar in the currency market, forcing the Hong Kong Monetary Authority to resort to the old trick of pulling up interest rates, which will inevitably lead to a fall in the stock market and a parallel decline in HSI futures. The speculators could then sell short HSI futures at a lower price in the futures market, making both the currency market and the stock market profitable, with the intention of getting drunk on HSI futures.

In August 1998, after several trials, Soros came back with his strongest men and firepower. Vowing to end Hong Kong in one battle.

On August 14, the Hong Kong government suddenly took action, using the Exchange Fund and the Land Fund to enter the stock market and the Hang Seng Index futures market at the same time, causing the Hang Seng Index to rally by more than 560 points that day, up 8%, to close at 7224 points; Soros's army was instantly surprised, they did not expect the Hong Kong government, which has always boasted a free market, to really enter the market and fight.

Subsequently until the 24th, the Hong Kong government and Soros's speculator group has been back and forth between you and me, a short fight. But the Hang Seng Index slowly dampened the momentum of its previous wild slide and began to be in a state of oscillation.

27 August, the day before the settlement day. At 10am, the Hong Kong stock market opened. As soon as it started, speculators' selling orders came in like a mountain. Within the first 15 minutes, turnover reached HK$1.9 billion; in the second 15 minutes, it was HK$1 billion. And in the 15 minutes before the market closed, the battle went into a frenzy, with turnover reaching HK$8.2 billion! The state of affairs was so gruesome that it dazzled all the traders on the floor.

On this day, the Hong Kong Government used HK$20 billion to commission 10 brokerage houses to hound the 33 HSI constituent stocks. The Hang Seng Index closed at 7,922 points, up 88 points from the previous trading day, the highest since 4 Nov 97.

28 August, the settlement day of the HSI futures. This was Soros's last chance to short the Hang Seng Index, and it was up to this wave to see if the large amount of bearish futures he had previously purchased would make a profit.

At 10am, the duel was fought. The Hong Kong government and the short-selling group immediately engaged in a fierce battle over HSBC Holdings and HKT. While the speculators' sell-offs were rampant and overwhelming, the government's forces were able to buy all the shares without leaving a single one. In only 5 minutes after the market opened, the turnover was as high as HK$3 billion!

Before the market closed at 12 noon, the battle became fierce again, "Cheung Kong Holdings", "China Telecom" and many other blue-chip stocks were sold by speculators, the sea of stocks, the Hong Kong Government's frenzied efforts to save. The turnover at the close of the afternoon market was HK$40.9 billion. As the market opened in the afternoon, the battle became even tougher. As the speculators' sell-offs rolled in, the Hong Kong government used almost all the foreign exchange reserves it could muster to eat up the entire stock market and hold the entire line, with an average of $350 million worth of stocks changing hands every minute.

At exactly 4 p.m., the Hang Seng Index finally settled at 7,829!

Four thrilling hours later, the day's trading volume reached an all-time high for the Hong Kong stock market - HK$79 billion! HSI futures finally settled at 7851 points. In a total of 10 trading days back, the HKSAR Government used approximately the equivalent of HK$120 billion of foreign exchange reserves to pull the Hang Seng Index up by 1,169 points.

HKSAR Financial Secretary Donald Tsang Yam-kuen then declared that the Hong Kong government had won the battle against international speculators and in defence of the Hong Kong stock market and the Hong Kong currency.

On this "dueling day" in defence of Hong Kong, the stock market traded at a volume of HK$79 billion, about 10 times the usual volume.

Soros tried to move back into the fray in September, but on 7 September, the Hong Kong Monetary Authority issued new rules on foreign exchange, securities trading and settlement, which greatly restricted speculation by speculators. On the same day, the Hang Seng Index soared 588 points to the 8,000-point mark. The international speculators' losses were further exacerbated and they eventually had to retreat from Hong Kong in defeat.

The story further on is well known, as the Hong Kong market gradually recovered and the Hang Seng Index returned to above 10,000 points in 1999, with the Hong Kong government making billions of dollars by exiting the stock market altogether.

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In 2019, Soros tried to short Hong Kong again while fomenting unrest in Hong Kong through the Open Society Foundations, but was once again sniped. Soros has been “shut down”.

Because of the turmoil in Hong Kong at the time, Hong Kong stocks fell and Soros bought a large number of short positions, expected to be no less than 200,000, to start shorting Hong Kong.

Data show that on August 13, the Hong Kong Stock Exchange futures and options total turnover and small Hang Seng Index futures turnover record high. At the same time, the Hang Seng Index experienced a sharp drop of more than 10% in a round of more than 3,000 points.

What Soros did not expect was the Hong Kong Government's move on 4 September which led to a single day gain of 4.3% for Hong Kong stocks, leaving Soros on the losing end of his first battle!

On September 5, the reluctant Soros again chose to throw a large number of short orders to fight to the death. As a result of this the Hang Seng Index took a dive in the afternoon and fell sharply.

But what Soros didn't expect this time was the suspension of trading in all derivatives markets in Hong Kong from 2pm that day, disrupting all his plans! Regarding this emergency closure of the HKEx, HKEx Chief Executive Officer, Mr. Li Xiaojia, said in an interview: "In any market, a market closure is a big decision, a decision that cannot be taken lightly, and the decision to suspend the market will only be made if we judge that the market is no longer operating in an orderly manner. orderly and therefore made the decision to suspend the market. Such judgements are never easy. We are continuing to investigate the root cause of the incident and will make an announcement to the market as soon as possible."

As a result, there was talk that the HKEx's move was to "shut the door" and give Soros nowhere to go!

The following day, when the HKEx resumed normal trading, the continued rise in Hong Kong stocks caused Soros, who had been a big player for many years, to "close the door on the dog", as expected, and to suffer heavy losses of over HK$2.4 billion!

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After reading this, I think we understand why Soros is targeting China, right?

The reason is that he can’t benefit from the current China.

I think there are some “philanthropists” in support of the overthrow of the Chinese government, but not on the scale of Soros.

Tsar Peter III and his Toy Soldiers

Some rulers lose their minds over time, and some never had them in the first place. Tsar Peter III of Russia seems to have suffered from a kind of Peter Pan syndrome; he never grew up! Today, he is mainly remembered as the ruler whose wife, Catherine the Great , deposed him and ruled in his stead. But how did Catherine manage to get rid of her husband?

Well, it was widely believed that Peter was obsessed with toy soldiers. Catherine claimed that on their wedding night she was left disappointed when Peter had plans other than consummating their marriage.

Instead of undressing, Peter pulled a box of toy soldiers out from under his bed and forced his bride to play with them until 2am. Another time, Peter spent a substantial amount of time setting up a toy fort ready for a mock battle. He was left enraged when a rat happened to walk past and knocked over his toys. The rat was soon hung from the wall for ‘breaching military discipline’.

Catherine may indeed have exaggerated the stories of Peter and his toys as a way of discrediting and ultimately deposing him. However, there are enough sources that corroborate her claims to safely say that Peter was a few soldiers short of a full platoon.

Attack in Russia: Get ready, this is the last straw for Putin

US Secretary of State’s quote about Russia is so much bullshit. “Russians are not winterized.” That’s like saying Jamaicans can’t handle hot weather.

Gingerbread Cake (Spicy)

“Adapted from a Gourmet recipe, this spicy gingerbread originated from the Gramercy Tavern. It’s excellent warm, and even better after one day. If you like a deep, spicy gingerbread, you might try this one!”

Ingredients

Units: US

• 1 cup oatmeal stout beer or 1 cup Guinness stout
• 1 cup dark molasses
• ¹⁄₂ teaspoon baking soda
• 2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 ¹⁄₂ teaspoons baking powder
• 2 tablespoons ground ginger
• 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• ¹⁄₄ teaspoon ground cloves
• ¹⁄₄ teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg
• 1 pinch ground cardamom
• 3 large eggs
• 1 cup packed dark brown sugar
• 1 cup granulated sugar
• ³⁄₄ cup vegetable oil
• confectioners’ sugar (for dusting) (optional)

Directions

• Butter a 10-inch (10- to 12-cup) bundt pan well and dust with flour, shaking out excess.
• Preheat oven to 350°F.
• Generously butter bundt pan and dust with flour, knocking out excess.
• Bring stout and molasses to a boil in a large saucepan and remove from heat.
• Whisk in baking soda, then cool to room temperature.
• Sift flour, baking powder, and spices in a large bowl.
• Whisk together eggs and both sugars.
• Whisk in oil, then molasses mixture.
• Add to flour mixture and whisk until just combined.
• Pour batter into bundt pan and bang pan sharply on counter to eliminate air bubbles.
• Bake in middle of oven until a tester comes out with just a few moist crumbs adhering, about 50 minutes.
• Cool cake in pan on a rack 5 minutes.
• Turn out onto rack and cool completely.
• You can serve the gingerbread immediately, dusting lightly with confectioners sugar, and/or adding whipped cream.
• You can also hold the gingerbread for a day before serving, as the flavors develop with some time.

What did someone say to you that instantly made you realize their life was in danger?

What if China turn left after the 20th National Congress of CPC?

This is an exceptional chat.

Excellent analysis by Charles Liu on China’s peaceful rise to help the Global South from poverty with its BRI policy.

CPC has a paternalistic inclination. Like looking after a large family, you’re motivated to help the extremely poor members and inculcate the responsibility of the very wealthy to share a bit. No man is an island, common prosperity is a common good, and nobody can claim to have generated their wealth alone external to the society

We Are Being Warned That The Global Economy Is Having “One Of Its Worst Years In Three Decades”

Will 2022 go down in history as one of the most important economic turning points that we have ever seen?  All over the planet, economic activity is beginning to decelerate and uncertainty about the future is in the air.  Meanwhile, the cost of living continues to escalate and a very painful energy crisis has begun.  Unless there is some sort of an economic miracle, it appears that 2023 will be a very difficult year, and the long-term outlook beyond next year is even more ominous.  Suddenly, many of the talking heads on television are openly speculating about the hard times that are coming, and the word “recession” is being thrown around quite frequently.

But will we only be dealing with a “recession” in the months ahead, or will it be much worse than that?

At the moment, things are clearly heading in the wrong direction.  The following comes from a Bloomberg article entitled “World Economy Heads for One of Its Worst Years in Three Decades”…

The world economy is facing one of its worst years in three decades as the energy shocks unleashed by the war in Ukraine continue to reverberate, according to Bloomberg Economics.

In a new analysis, economist Scott Johnson forecasts growth of just 2.4% in 2023. That’s down from an estimated 3.2% this year and the lowest — excluding the crisis years of 2009 and 2020 — since 1993.

The global economy is more interconnected than ever before, and so pain experienced on one side of the globe is often keenly felt on the other side.

Here in the United States, a huge wave of layoffs has now started.  On Tuesday, yet another major media company announced brutal job cuts…

BuzzFeed is axing 12% of its workforce, or around 180 staffers, in a bid to cut costs as the digital media company faces headwinds including an ad-spending pullback and the completion of its integration of Complex Media.

The company informed affected employees via email Tuesday that they were being terminated. “In order for BuzzFeed to weather an economic downturn that I believe will extend well into 2023, we must adapt, invest in our strategy to serve our audience best, and readjust our cost structure,” CEO Jonah Peretti wrote in a memo to employees about the job cuts.

As the housing market crashes, the financial industry is being hit really hard as well.

In fact, it is being reported that approximately 1,600 Morgan Stanley employees will now be looking for new work…

Morgan Stanley cut about 2% of its staff on Tuesday, according to people with knowledge of the layoffs.

The moves, reported first by CNBC, impacted about 1,600 of the company’s 81,567 employees and touched nearly every corner of the global investment bank, said the people, who declined to be identified speaking about terminations.

Speaking of the housing market, we are being told that somewhere around 270,000 recent homebuyers in the U.S. are already underwater on their mortgages.

We haven’t seen anything like this since 2008 and 2009, but this is just the beginning.

If the Federal Reserve insists on hiking interest rates even higher, it won’t be too long before millions of homeowners will be underwater on their mortgages, and that will definitely be a nightmare scenario.

So many families are living on the edge of financial disaster in late 2022.  If you can believe it, approximately 20 million U.S. households are currently behind on their utility bills…

According to the National Energy Assistance Directors Association (NEADA), roughly 20 million households in the U.S. — one out of six homes — are behind on their utility bills.

As of August, these families owe about $16.1 billion in total, with an average amount owed of $788 — and the consequences of this could be dire, especially as home heat costs are expected to reach their highest level in over 10 years.

We are already in a state of economic crisis right now.

But don’t expect the White House to admit that any time soon.

Meanwhile, the cost of living just continues to go higher and higher.  Earlier today, I was stunned to learn that Walmart CEO Doug McMillon is actually admitting that double-digit price increases on packaged foods “are going to be with us for a while”…

Walmart (WMT) is the largest retailer in the United States and has a gauge into consumer habits and a wide array of products.

McMillon said that inflation was “most stubborn” on packaged food. Double-digit price increases on these essentials “are going to be with us for a while,” he said.

So we are going to have rapidly rising prices and an imploding economy at the same time.

Yes, 2023 is going to be a whole lot of fun.

At this point, even the mood on Wall Street is shifting.

Stocks were down once again today, and now the S&P 500 has fallen for seven of the last eight trading sessions…

The S&P 500 shed 1.44% to close at 3,941.26, while the Nasdaq Composite sank 2% to finish at 11,014.89. The Dow Jones Industrial Average dropped 350.76 points, or 1.03%, to settle at 33,596.34.

Stocks added to Monday’s declines, with the S&P falling for a fourth straight day and its seventh negative session in eight. Tuesday’s moves bring the Dow’s two-day losses to more than 830 points.

Just a few weeks from now, 2022 will mercifully be over.

But if this year has been “one of its worst years in three decades”, what will the global economy look like a year from now?

As I have detailed above, the U.S. economy is really starting to deteriorate quite rapidly.

So how bad will things eventually get?

Let us hope for a “recession”, but let us also prepare for an economic nightmare.

Is it possible that the US is headed in the direction of a dictatorship?

Certainly.

In 1935, the great American novelist Sinclair Lewis (lived 1885 – 1951) wrote a classic novel titled It Can’t Happen Here. In the novel, a charismatic politician named Berzelius “Buzz” Windrip runs for president of the United States on a radical populist platform, promising to give every American family $5,000 a year.

Windrip portrays himself as the champion of traditional American values, a true patriot, a lover of liberty and justice, and a pious Christian. He holds massive, energetic rallies. He portrays himself as a “man of the people” standing up for the “forgotten men” of the working class. He demonizes immigrants, minorities, intellectuals, and the press. He laments the decline of the United States and promises to restore the United States to her former glory. In chapter nine, he is described as follows:

“The Senator [i.e. Windrip] was vulgar, almost illiterate, a public liar easily detected, and in his ‘ideas’ almost idiotic, while his celebrated piety was that of a traveling salesman for church furniture, and his yet more celebrated humor the sly cynicism of a country store.”

“Certainly there was nothing exhilarating in the actual words of his speeches, nor anything convincing in his philosophy. His political platforms were only wings of a windmill.”

On the platform I have described, Windrip wins a landslide victory and sails right into the presidency. As president, he declares Congress an “advisory” organization and strips it of all its powers. Any members of Congress who object are promptly thrown in prison. Windrip then creates, arms, and trains a paramilitary force called “the Minute Men,” named after the militiamen who fought in the American Revolutionary War.

Windrip’s Minute Men work to enforce his agenda and force anyone who does not support Windrip into submission. Despite everything Windrip is doing, the vast majority of Americans continue to support him, insisting that everything he does is necessary for the restoration of American military power and economic prosperity. When confronted with the notion that Windrip’s regime may be fascistic, they say, “It [i.e. fascism] can’t happen here.”

You may notice some interesting parallels to certain contemporary politicians. Nonetheless, it is important to emphasize that Trump is not Buzz Windrip. They may bear an uncanny resemblance to each other, but they are still different. The character of Buzz Windrip was modeled in part on Adolf Hitler, who was at the height of his power when the book was published, and in part on the Louisiana Democratic Senator Huey Long, who was at the time running for president on a populist platform.

ABOVE: Image of an early edition of Lewis Sinclair’s novel It Can’t Happen Here

The truth is, I think it is possible for any country on Earth with any form of government to turn into a dictatorship. No country is completely immune to the charms of authoritarianism, not even the United States. We may pride ourselves on our love of freedom, but saying that you love freedom means nothing if your actions do not show it. Unfortunately, it is often difficult to recognize authoritarianism when it rears its ugly head and it is certainly possible for even the most ardent believer in democracy to support an authoritarian figure.

The only real question is not “Is it possible the U.S. will have a dictator?” but rather “How likely is it for the U.S. to become a dictatorship given the present circumstances?” Just because the United States could become a dictatorship does not necessarily mean that it will. If our institutions are upheld and all the powers of the presidency are held in check like they are supposed to be, then we can avert dictatorship.

There is nothing unrealistic about the United States electing a populist demagogue with authoritarian leanings; it has already happened. What I think is somewhat less realistic about Sinclair Lewis’s novel is his portrayal of the conversion of the United States from representative democracy to dictatorship. This conversion—if it does happen—probably will not happen overnight. It will only happen after years and years of norms being flouted and institutions undermined.

If the United States turns into an autocracy, it will probably happen a way similar to the Roman Republic. The Roman Republic was not overturned by one man; it took well over a century for the Republic to fully transform into the autocracy of Augustus.

Furthermore, even as late as the reign of the emperor Diocletian (ruled 284 – 305 AD), people were still pretending like “the Republic” was still a thing, even though it really had not meaningfully existed in any sense for over three hundred years. For those interested in the history of the decline of the Roman Republic, the 2018 book Mortal Republic: How Rome Fell into Tyranny by the American classical historian Edward J. Watts is an excellent and startlingly contemporary history of that time period. On page 281—the very last page—Watts offers this brilliant paragraph, which feels as close to home as any news report:

“Rome’s republic, then, died because it was allowed to. Its death was not inevitable. It could have been avoided. Over the course of a century, thousands of average men, talented men, and middling men all willingly undercut the power of the Republic to restrict and channel the ambitions of the individual, doing so in the interest of their own shortsighted gains. Every time Cato misused a political procedure, or Clodius intimidated a political opponent, or a Roman citizen took a bribe in exchange for his vote, they wounded the Republic. And the wounds festered whenever ordinary Romans either supported or refused to condemn men who took such actions. Sulla, Marius, Caesar, and Augustus all inflicted mighty blows on the Republic, but its death was caused as much by the thousands of small injuries inflicted by Romans who did not think it could really die. When citizens take the health and durability of their republic for granted, that republic is at risk. This was as true in 133 BC or 82 BC or 44 BC as it is in AD 2018. In ancient Rome and in the modern world, a republic is a thing to be cherished, protected, and respected. If it falls, an uncertain, dangerous, and destructive future lies on the other side.”

ABOVE: Cicero Denounces Catiline, painted between 1882 and 1888 by the Italian painter Cesare Maccari. If the United States ever falls into dictatorship, it will probably happen gradually. Over time, norms and institutions will be undermined until dictatorship simply feels normal and natural to most people.

I must end this answer with a question mark. I do not know if the United States will become a dictatorship. If the United States does become a dictatorship, I cannot say how soon it will happen. It could happen a century and half from now or it could happen a decade from now. All I am certain of is that it will take time. Gradually, norms and institutions will be undermined until dictatorship simply feels normal and natural to most people. At first, few will even recognize it as a dictatorship, but the truth of the matter will be made clear by time.

Unless, of course, we stop it from happening altogether.

4 People Describe What’s It Like To Have Bipolar

November 10, 2022

 

1. It’s the most amazing pile of beautiful misery to grace the hell of my divine existence! When your good, things are FANTASTIC! the other %80 of the time is spent trying to prevent your (percieved) justifiable suicide.

2. I have bipolar disorder type 2. It has affected me my whole life, though I didn’t realize it and didn’t get diagnosed until my late 30s.

I’m afraid of my own brain. I hyper analyze every mood and feeling, worried that I may be sliding into yet another episode of mania or bone crushing depression.

It sucks. I feel like so much of my life’s potential has been eaten up by the alternating bouts of depression, mania, and the guilt and shame I felt (and still feel) when I do have clarity. I lost my job, my marriage, and very nearly lost my life to bipolar. My ex tried to get my partial custody revoked because I am “crazy” but thankfully in my state that doesn’t hold water unless I demonstrate an inability to care for my kids.

I’ve also lost almost all of my friends, either due to manic or depressed behavior that alienated me from them, my ex’s embellishment of how insane I am, or my isolating myself after my last nervous breakdown. It took 18 months to be well enough to try working again, and every day at work seems like the day I will quit because I can’t take the stress and anxiety of it. But I go. And I keep going every day.

I can’t handle this illness anymore. But I take it a day, an hour, a minute at a time if I have to. And I take my medication religiously. At least I know without a doubt that I have done everything in my power to control this thing rather than let it control me.

3. Sometimes I’m very happy all of the time and I don’t need much sleep. I will start a lot of things and take up many new hobbies which rapidly develop into an obsession and then I’ll move onto something else.

It takes a lot of effort to get things complete because I will work on multiple tasks simultaneously. I was once cleaning the 2 bathrooms, sorting through laundry, cleaning the cooker and dishwasher, cleaning the patio doors, washing the floors, dusting bookshelves and sorting out the drawers under the bed all at once. I was running from task to task and became convinced my slippers were slowing me down. Our apartment at the time had a long, open plan living/dining room and kitchen. I grew convinced my slippers were slowing me down and kicked them across from the living room and into the kitchen.

I also suffer from memory problems during hypomanic episodes, which means that I only remember brief things once the episode has passed. An example of this is with my medication. I had gone to the pharmacy to collect my prescription, but they didn’t have enough and I said I’d call back in for the rest another day. They gave me a slip of paper and I went back a week later after running out of the meds I’d got the week before.

The pharmacist had said I’d been in the day after and collected the rest of my prescription, which I have absolutely no memory of, nor did I know where I would have put my medication if I had. She ended up doubting herself and went back to check the records and could show me that I’d been back in to collect the pills. Not even the time or date jogged any memory. I left to go back to my doctor and ask for another prescription but I had to go home for something. I got to the entrance of my apartment building and I couldn’t find my keys in my pockets and went hunting into my bag. While digging around I found a paper bag and found the remainder of my prescription that I’d picked the following day. I went back and told the pharmacist I’d found them and apologised for taking her away from her other jobs.

I also avoid going outside when I’m hypomanic. When I’m in large crowded areas, I pick up on people’s emotions and start feeling them as if they were my own. And it’s not just a single emotion I’ll feel at once, but a mixture of all emotions. Because people with bipolar’s emotions are already extremely elevated, this becomes intoxicating and I’ll end up very hyperactive and happy, but I’m also more prone to getting angry too. Because I’m hyperactive, I am doing everything faster and it feels like time around me has slowed down, so people walking in front of me, or having my way somewhere blocked makes me very angry.

If I do need to go into a crowded area, I’ll have to spend a few hours mentally preparing myself to go out. So I’ll make a mental map of the places I need to go, the route I’ll need to take to get the things I need in the most efficient way and I can’t deviate from that route as I’m more easily distracted when hypomanic and if I deviate from my route, then I’ll end up spending all my money on cheap tat because I felt like it would make my life a lot better at that time, and then not know why I got it.

My memory problems have also got me into debt several times too. I can buy things and forget I’ve purchased them, then remember I was wanting to buy it and go and buy it again. It’s not uncommon for me to buy 2 – 3 copies of the same thing, and shops rarely allow you to return them, so I end up just giving the multiples away to people.

I’m also prone to making rash, snap decisions. It’s not uncommon for me to randomly quit a job or take a sudden dislike to a close friend and remove them from my life. Due to the way bipolar works (depression and hypomania/mania), your job performance will drop while depressed, and then you can suddenly snap into a hypomanic/manic episode without knowing it and start irritating those around you. Because of how work places tend to treat those with mental health problems, they often won’t take you back if you quit because they see you as a liability.

But you tend to crash into one of the deepest depressions you can have when it ends. Like the saying goes “the higher you go, the further you have to fall”.

4. Some people say stupid things “yesterday I was feeling great and today I just feel normal, omg I’m like so bipolar lol”, don’t say this, it’s hard enough being a victim of it, and it becomes infuriating when people say things like this (this is pretty much true for all mental illnesses).

So what is it like being bipolar? Imagine swimming, swimming forever, you are not a particularly talented swimmer and to make things worse you have weights on your wrists and ankles. The heaviness of these weights change, with no real pattern, sometimes the weights are light enough for you to swim along with everyone else and it’s manageable and life is bearable. But sometimes the weights are heavy and just staying afloat becomes incredibly difficult, and sometimes the weights become even heavier than that, when the weights become too heavy you will eventually slip below the surface.

When you are under it seems like getting back up is impossible, sometimes the weights are so heavy you can’t get back up and you have to hold your breath until they get lighter but the longer you hold your breath the harder it is to not sink further leaving you to be in constant hope the weights become light enough to cope and get back up. For most the thought of giving up and letting go crosses their minds, once you’ve drowned you don’t have to struggle and cope anymore, because of this some people do. For some people the weights do get lighter and they can get back above the surface and continue swimming, some people don’t.

Friends are other swimmers, some have their own weights some don’t and it’s your friends who will rescue you when you sink under, they will help you swim carrying you along but they are also swimming and have to carry themselves, the more they help you the harder their own swimming becomes, some will move on and leave you, some will stay, and you will encounter more, replacing the ones lost.

Some use drugs to help with the struggle, drugs will temporarily make the weights lighter and it will be easier until they wear off but when they do wear off the weights will be heavier than before. Some people hurt themselves, doing this makes the weights slightly lighter but it makes the wearer weaker.

I can’t say bipolar does get better, certain medication will lighten the weights as will positive things in your life but you will always wear your weights. So why keep swimming? Everyone drowns at some point anyway so what’s the point? You want to get as far as you can during your swim, you want to experience the good things and you want to keep going, you want to beat your weights, you want to help carry others, you only get one swim, some people have it easier than others but it’s best not to waste it.

How China’s Nuclear Arsenals Leaving The US Ones Behind

The true and actual number of weapons systems; nuclear and other is absolutely unknown. It’s useless to guess. What the pentagon thinks is probably incorrect.

https://youtu.be/ZLU6n9FyOSY

“Kathy, ‘I’m lost’ I said, though I knew she was sleeping. ‘I’m empty and aching and I don’t know why’.”

Charles VI of France Believed He Was Made of Glass

Charles VI of France is remembered for two things: his crushing defeat at Agincourt against the British and the fact that he was really quite mad.

Charles’s bouts of psychosis are numerous and well-documented. In 1393, he forgot his name and the fact that he was king. When his wife came to visit in an attempt to help, he had no idea who she was either. He ordered his servants to look after her but also get rid of her.

Then from 1395-96, he began claiming he was Saint George . He recognized his servants and officers, but could not remember his wife or children. Around the same time, he took to running wildly around the corridors of his residence, Hotel Saint-Pol. It became such a problem that to keep him inside and safe, entrances had to be walled up.

Then in 1405, he refused to bathe or wear clean clothes for five months. After this last bout of madness, records of his mental illness become scarcer. It is believed this is not because he recovered but because his bouts of insanity became so numerous that people gave up keeping track of them.

Thanks to Pope Pius II , we know that at some point Charles began to believe he was made of glass . He became terrified of breaking and would let no one touch him. He would sit still for hours and even went as far as having iron rods sewn into his clothing to protect him. It’s common for powerful men to have fragile egos, but Charles took it one step further.

Could 65 Trillion Dollars In “Hidden” Derivatives Cause The Entire Global Financial System To Crash?

If you thought that the collapse of FTX was something, just wait until the entire global financial system comes crashing down all around us.  Most people just assume that the system is being managed by rational people that behave in rational ways, but of course countless investors assumed the same things about FTX.  Sadly, the global financial system has slowly but surely been transformed into the largest casino in the history of the world.  It is a colossal Ponzi scheme, and once in a while authorities give us a little peek into what is really going on behind the curtain.

For example, this week the Bank for International Settlements released a report that warned that 65 trillion dollars in “hidden” currency derivatives could potentially be a major threat to the stability of the entire system…

There’s a hidden risk to the global financial system embedded in the $65 trillion of dollar debt being held by non-US institutions via currency derivatives, according to the Bank for International Settlements.

In a paper with the title “huge, missing and growing,” the BIS said a lack of information is making it harder for policy makers to anticipate the next financial crisis. In particular, they raised concern with the fact that the debt is going unrecorded on balance sheets because of accounting conventions on how to track derivative positions.

Last year, the total value of all goods and services produced in the entire world was just 96 trillion dollars.

So we are talking about an amount of money that is almost unimaginable.

Everything will be okay as long as financial conditions remain relatively stable.

But BIS analysts warn that “the next time dollar funding liquidity is squeezed” we could have an enormous crisis on our hands…

“Off-balance-sheet dollar debt may remain out of sight and out of mind—but only until the next time dollar funding liquidity is squeezed,” the analysts write. “Then, the hidden leverage in pension funds and insurance companies’ portfolios . . . could pose a policy challenge.”

So let’s hope that such a scenario does not materialize any time soon.

According to the BIS report, banks outside the U.S. are particularly vulnerable…

For researchers at the BIS, it’s the sheer scale of the swaps that’s worrying. They estimate that banks headquartered outside the US carry $39 trillion of this debt — more than double their on-balance sheet obligations and ten times their capital. Accounting conventions only require derivatives to be booked on a net basis, so the full extent of the cash involved isn’t recorded on a balance sheet.

“There is a staggering volume of off-balance sheet dollar debt that is partly hidden, and FX risk settlement remains stubbornly high,” said Borio, head of the monetary and economic department at the BIS.

When this thing finally implodes, there isn’t going to be enough money in the entire world to fix it all.

But don’t worry.

The “experts” are telling us that everything is fine.

Meanwhile, more of our largest corporations are planning layoffs.  According to the Wall Street Journal, this even includes PepsiCo…

PepsiCo is reported laying off headquarter workers, The Wall Street Journal reports.

A person familiar with the matter told the Journal that hundreds of jobs are being cut in the head office of the North American snacks and beverages divisions.

Employees in Purchase, N.Y., Chicago, Ill. and Plano, Tex. are said to be impacted.

I thought that PepsiCo was doing well.

I guess not.

But don’t worry.

The “experts” are telling us that everything is fine.

This week some of the biggest names in the mainstream media have also announced layoffs…

Hundreds of media industry staffers were laid off this week during a brutal period that saw Warner Bros. Discovery, Gannett and others slash headcount as economic uncertainty plagues news organizations.

Gannett, a newspaper juggernaut that owns dozens of local media outlets along with USA Today, began its latest round of layoffs on Thursday. The cost-cutting effort impacted roughly 6% of the company’s news workforce of about 3,440 employees.

I can’t remember ever seeing such a wave of layoffs at our largest media companies.

But don’t worry.

The “experts” are telling us that everything is fine.

Of course the truth is that everything is not fine.

Economic conditions are deteriorating all around us, and the ripple effects are being felt everywhere.

According to Fox Business, even Las Vegas is feeling the pain…

Inflation is taking its toll on Sin City as fewer tourists are visiting the gambling Mecca, and those who do spend less than usual, according to a new report.

The University of Las Vegas business school released a report forecasting the city’s economic outlook between 2022 and 2024 and noted that its economy turned grim in June of this year, according to Fox 5.

“Interest rates have gone up. And we know that we know that prices are going up as well. And that’s what the Fed is trying to get their hands around and solve. So it may be that the Fed’s policies is having an effect not only nationally, but it’s also affecting our economy locally,” one of the study’s authors, Professor Stephen Miller, told the outlet.

2008 and 2009 were incredibly difficult years for Las Vegas.

Now those that run businesses in Sin City are bracing for another extended downturn.

In all my years of writing, I have never been more concerned about the short-term economic outlook them I am right now.

It is very likely that 2023 will be a really hard year for the U.S. economy, and of course this comes at a time when the entire globe is being hit by crisis after crisis.

For ages we have been warned that a day of reckoning would eventually be coming, and now it appears that day of reckoning has already arrived.

There is certainly nothing wrong with hoping for the best.  But there is also wisdom in getting prepared for the worst.

What’s something that seemed innocent when you were a child, but now that you’re an adult it’s actually inappropriate or creepy?

I was at a family gathering the other day. My brother was tickling my 4 year old daughter. She was giggling, and as kids do when tickled, saying stop. She was being loud (as she was being tickled. That’s what kids do). Grandma then scolded my daughter for being loud. I said “She said stop”, my brother said, “She’s laughing, she likes it.”

Now, I am not saying anybody in my family was doing anything inappropriate. I suspect zero foul play, it was innocent fun. Still, objectively, I saw this happen:

• I saw a girl, being touched, and saying stop.
• Then, a man saying, see, she likes it.
• Then another woman, a trusted adult, blaming the child for being to loud, silencing her protests.

Again, totally innocent situation.

But knowing what goes on in the world, I don’t like it. I don’t like the normalizing of “see, she liked it”.

How many molesters start with the tickling game. Get the kid used to you touching their arm. Then the shoulder. Then move inwards. That’s called grooming, and I’d bet a lot of that starts innocently enough.

Again, I am not saying the Uncle was doing anything wrong. But the actions that happened, in another context, could be very wrong.

We don’t play the tickling game anymore. And when my daughters say no, they will be heard.

Nero the Mother Killer

To be honest, you could write an entire list just of crazy rulers of Rome. The most famous of them is probably Nero. Nero appears to have begun his reign relatively sane, but increasingly fell into a paranoia that left him a little crazy.

Much has been made of Nero’s violent tendencies, but Nero had a softer side (which was also crazy). By the time Nero became the emperor of Rome at the age of seventeen, he had been trained in the arts and was a talented singer, musician, and reciter of poetry.

In Roman culture, professional actors and musicians were, socially speaking, barely higher than whores or slaves. But Nero loved to perform. As emperor, he hosted a range of events and competitions to play in public. He even went as far as entering the Olympic Games and forcing the organizers to include artistic competitions. Unsurprisingly, he won every event he entered.

He loved performing so much and played for so long that audience members came up with inventive means of escape. Old men would feign death and women would fake going into labor just to escape. When Nero died he stated, “What an artist dies in me.”

Also, he had a habit of killing the people close to him. It all began with his mother, whom he had killed. His reasons for having his mother killed are unclear, but it seems after her death Nero began to suffer from paranoia. If his own mother could turn on him, anyone could.

It is widely believed Nero had his first wife killed and killed his second wife himself. After his second wife, Poppaea, died, he had a young commoner who resembled his deceased wife castrated. He then dressed the young man as his wife and married him – truly the actions of a crazy ruler.

French ambassador: US ‘rules-based order’ means Western domination, violating international law

That’s right, China is not rising, China is regaining its former position it’s been having for at least 2000 years prior to Western aggression and colonization.

The West’s 200 years of domination is coming to an end whether it accepts it or not. The sooner the West learns to live and deal properly with the new multipolar world the better is for everyone.

If the West is not able to compete within its own trade platforms and continue to abuse its own financial systems, then they really shouldn’t blame China or other countries for creating new trade and financial platforms that would better serve the people of the developing world.

Qin Shi Huang’s Search for Immortality

Qin Shi Huang was a ruler who believed his own hype. At least in his case, it was somewhat earned. Qin Shi Huang rose to power as the first emperor of a unified China in the 3rd century BC.

Once Huang gained power, he rapidly became obsessed with keeping it. He had many enemies, and over the years he faced several assassination attempts. The idea that death was the only thing that could separate him from power caused him to lose his mind. He became obsessed with gaining immortality. He consulted doctors who prescribed him a healthy regimen of sex to maintain his vitality.

When this failed, he began taking pills full of mercury. These had the opposite effect. His health declined, and so did his sanity. As Huang lost more and more of his marbles, he turned to mysticism. His greatest adventurers were sent out to the ‘Islands of the Immortals’ to find a magical elixir that would allow him to live forever. Fearing evil spirits, he had a complex system of tunnels built that connected his 200 palaces.

Huang is best remembered for his magnificent tomb filled with its army of terracotta soldiers. They were meant to be an immortal army that would protect their supposedly immortal emperor. Huang died in 210 BC..

Eggnog Fudge

“Instead of giving away fudge, make the fudge look like a wrapped present!”

Putin Balks At West Imposing Oil Price Cap

Alex and Alexander are the best geopolitical analysts out there. Great to see them on your show Jimmy.

What’s It Like To have Narcissistic Personality Disorder

December 2, 2022

As an actual narcissist, I’m writing anonymously to avoid being exposed. I may not be officially diagnosed with NPD (nor I’d ever want to be), but two of my psychologists, including the current one, described me as “a narcissist”, and being a psychology student myself, I think it’s unfortunately accurate.

My self-image, it’s quite inconsistent. Sometimes, I do feel grandiose, but in many aspects I am objectively above-average, at least.

Since I’ve had episodes of serious depression, I’ll explain it in comparison to that.

When you are depressed, you view yourself as horrible by cherry-picking your worst qualities and experiences. It might be accurate – if a bit exaggerated – but you forget about the good things.

Now, narcissistic grandiosity feels like the opposite of that. You cherry-pick your best qualities and experiences. When you think of yourself, only your successes and capabilities come to your mind. (Part accurate, part exaggerated)

Now how does being a narcissist feel? I think the feeling i could most strongly attribute to being a narcissist, is the constant need to be important, respected and powerful. If people treat you with just a tiny little bit less respect, than you think you deserve, you get angry. And by angry, I mean internally consumed by rage.

That awful, bitter feeling started in my childhood (obviously). I’ll describe the process as well as I can.

So… I used to be a very kind, intelligent, but a bit spirited, and more than a bit aggressive child until my early teens. While I was always in the top quarter of the class, and pretty responsible for my age, there were those times, when I was told off, called cheeky, punished, ect…

For most people, this is a normal part of their childhood, but for me, it increasingly felt like being unfair to me, and I couldn’t accept that. I resented adults (and I still do) more than anything. Every mistake seemed bigger in their eyes when I made them, than when they did.

Swearing, wanting too much, becoming angry, speaking my mind had much more consequences for me, than for them. (I know, this is true for all minor mistakes of children, compared to that of their parents, but still. I couldn’t accept. I can’t.)

They spotted all my mistakes so well, so I began to spot theirs.

My parents were relatively sensible people, as far as parents go, but they were certainly no angels. They often shouted at each other, swore all the time, and talked to me and each other in a pretty rude way.

They smoked. They lied. (Who doesn’t?) They didn’t always do well in their jobs. Basically no serious, abusive stuff. But they (and other adults) were of course scandalized, if we, kids did any of that. I always asked them why, and they always reasoned with things like “It’s not your house, You live on your parents’ money, We know better, You should respect your elders…”.

And I just felt desperate and powerless. I was too young to work and unqualified anyway.

I couldn’t grow up instantly, but I often fantasized about that when we’ll get older, they would get it all back. They would be dependent on ME! And I would tell them off! I would be the boss. And most of all, I’d be BETTER than them. I’d show them that I’ve ALWAYS been!

But well, meanwhile I had to get my way somehow. I knew by that time that kindness and logic don’t convince everyone, honesty just gets you into trouble, and obedience makes your superiors have even higher expectations towards you. And that is where the narcissist’s best friend, manipulation comes into the picture.

I had to learn how different kinds of people react to different approaches. To use my words as a means to an end, rather than wearing my heart on my sleeve.

In some situations, i needed to tone my tactless, aggressive personality down. That was pretty difficult, but worth it. I genuinely became more patient because of this little self-control exercise.

In others, I needed to exaggerate my emotions. That came pretty naturally.

And by my late teens, I tended to switch from nice to furious in seconds. (It can baffle people into compliance.)

Guilt-tripping and directing the blame at others came as a family legacy. (Heh.)

All of this for that sweet, sweet feeling of power.

Still, I empathize with other people, and will be benevolent towards them, as long as they at least treat me like an equal.

But I’ll be hell-bent on humiliating those, who are condescending towards me.

Despite all of this, I think it’s possible to channel all these possibly harmful urges into something positive.

If you want to be admired and feel powerful, you can deceive yourself and others into thinking that you are, OR you can work towards being actually admired and powerful. That’s what I’m trying to do.

I used to go to a therapy group, where I realized that helping people gives me a rush of power that is much more satisfying than simple, selfish manipulation.

Honestly grateful “admirers” are much better than mislead ones. Thus, I found my place in the field of psychology….So that’s all.

You can be disgusted by me or think I’m a horrible person, but these are the feelings of a certain narcissist. And hey, at least I’m self-aware, and trying to better myself. And wrote this long text for your entertainment.

(So feel free to feel thankful and praise me. 😛 )

Rwanda, a tiny country in the eastern central part of Africa (it is there, in red) Rwanda

• When visiting Rwanda, don’t bring any plastic bags as they are prohibited in the country. When you try to bring them, they will be confiscated right at the airport. Same goes with throwing waste in the environment, our country is very clean, and throwing any waste would be a shame for you, and the authorities can punish you for that.
• Don’t openly discuss ethnic issues. 22 years ago our country had seen one of the most atrocious tragedies in human history 1994 Genocide Rwandan genocide

2. you shouldn’t go around asking everyone what? where? how? who are you? The good way to learn this history is to try and visit some memorials which are rich in that history and it’s near the main city, Kigali and almost in every other city across the country.
3. Don’t try to take pictures of everything you see especially people even young kids in the street without first asking. Yes, our country is still under development, you might see poor neighborhood, young street kids or some funny things you can make out of those pictures – taking photos of those vulnerable people without their permission is a sensitive issue in our culture.

1. You shouldn’t be annoyed or irritated if someone didn’t make it on time. For many people being late “is just okay” one hour or 4 hours would still be okay 😉 so if you are meeting someone either for business or personal affairs just bear this in mind and be patient.
2. Restaurant and other service businesses. You will be treated really well, in fact a special treatment will be given to you if you are a foreigner (Rwandans are very welcoming and we are naturally good to our neighbours), but don’t take advantage of it or think that they want something from you (i.e. don’t shout or raise your voice when you are not satisfied with the service, there is a good manner to bring the issue at hand).
3. Rwanda is very safe and secure. Contrary to the popular belief or some perception of a country which has been in Genocide 22 years ago, you can move around anytime you want; even midnight. Don’t expect anyone to understand what you are talking about, even if you speak English or French, the majority of people only know one language; Kinyarwanda. Taxis, local traders, waiters, service providers, etc. they try hard to understand you but make sure when you are traveling to have a local guide with you (this will also help you pay less for everything, because you will not be overcharged cause you are a foreigner)
4. Don’t bring cats or dogs to public places or smoke in public. This doesn’t mean Rwandans hate animals, it means they respect other people’s views almost on anything. There are also special places reserved for smokers.
5. When you are a guest to someone’s home, don’t pay (or contribute) for the food or drinks offered unless asked to, this is rude or in some cases disrespectful.
6. Don’t get annoyed if you are being called ‘muzungu’ everywhere. Literally muzungu means ‘a traveler’ but it is widely known as ‘white people’, even Asians are called ‘muzungu’ 😉 😉 Don’t think they are being racists or are they trying to insult you.

Welcome to Rwanda! The land of thousand hills.

This Rare Battle-Sword Just Found in Sweden Is “An Evolutionary Leap”

Researchers in Sweden were excavating a 400-year-old cellar floor when they came across this “rare” battle-sword from the Military Revolution.

Archaeologists from Arkeologerna were digging at the intersection of the Kungsgatan and Västerlnggatan roads in the city of Kalmar, in the southeast of Sweden on the coast of the Baltic Sea.

Best known for its Renaissance-style Kalmar Castle , with turrets and a drawbridge, in the old town cobbled streets lead visitors along corridors of well-preserved 17th- and 18th-century buildings.

The Arkeologerna researchers discovered a cellar floor which records suggested was part of a medieval farm that belonged to “Gotskalk Hulskede in 1368 AD”. The farm property was again mentioned in a 1483 AD text and it is known that it burned down in the summer of 1611 AD during the Kalmar War.

A report in Heritage Daily says the archaeologists discovered “two severely burned hand grinders, a pile of charred grains, and broken brick, stone, and wood” most probably from the top floors of the houses covering the cellar’s floor. And it was while they were removing collapsed roofing material that the “rare” Danish sword was discovered.

Two heavily fire-damaged hand grinders. ( Arkeologerna)

You Can Only Poke The Bear So Often!

The Kalmar War/Conflict was fought between Sweden and Denmark-Norway from 1611 AD to 1613 AD. Tensions began back in 1607 AD when King Charles IX of Sweden declared himself King of the Lapps, then taxed them, in what was traditionally Norwegian territory. Then, to get around paying tolls to Denmark and Norway for using the Øresund “Sound” strait, which separates the Baltic Sea and the North Sea , Sweden forged a new route via Lapland.

According to a report in TechTimes, this one toll “constituted up to two thirds of Denmark’s state income in the 16th and 17th centuries”. Not at all chuffed, i n April 1611 AD King Christian IV of Denmark and Norway declared war upon Sweden and invaded from the south with 6,000 Danish soldiers.

The city and castle of Kalmar were known as the “key to Sweden,” because they controlled the Kalmar Straight and all shipping access to the northern trade routes on the Swedish east coast, and Stockholm. The 6,000 invaders had their weapons trained on first taking control of Kalmar’s castle, then the entire city, but things didn’t go according to plan.

The excavated stone cellar in a Kalmar street, where the battle sword was found. ( Arkeologerna)

Lost in the Smoke of War

After several months of sieging, Danish forces successfully penetrated Kalmar’s city walls, but they failed to crush the Swedish forces and skirmishes continued until the death toll got to around 900 men (700 Swedish and 200 Danes). Eventually, England drew up peace terms which were guaranteed by King James I of England and VI of Scotland and the Peace of Knäred was signed on 21 January 1613 AD, bringing the Kalmar War to a close.

King Gustavus Adolphus of Sweden’s victory over Denmark set him on the path that would see him build his territory and army into a major regional power. This is why historians regard the conflict as a turning point in the history of armed conflict in Scandinavia. And it was in the aftermath of this war that the cellar burned causing its roof to collapse, covering the “rare” Swedish sword.

Excavations in Kalmar revealed, in the now exposed 17th century basement, lay the lost weapons of a Danish soldier. ( Arkeologerna)

This Weapon Is ‘An Evolutionary Leap’

Arkeologerna said in a statement that at the time of the Kalmar War armies across Europe were experiencing “the military revolution.” An article in the defense publication, The Forge , explains the term ‘Military Revolution’ was originally coined in a paper delivered by Michael Roberts in 1955 to describe the period between 1560 AD and 1660 AD which saw new tactics and weapon systems being tested. These military changes brought about “significant transformation in warfare that contributed to the elevation of Western Europe as a center of world power,” according to Roberts.

Arkeologerna describes the rare sword as “an evolutionary leap” from the medieval sword , to more modern designs that would eventually dominate the 17th century battlefield. And symbolically, perhaps no better of an artifact could have been discovered to mark the Kalmar War, and Sweden’s first steps into the military revolution, than a broken and defeated Danish sword.

Top image: The Kalmar sword in situ where it was found. The tip is broken. Maybe in connection with battle?  Source: Arkeologerna

By Ashley Cowie

How many Flat-Earthers are there in the United States?

Too many.

A friend’s daughter is a flat-earther. I have another friend who is a U2/ER2 pilot. The pilot gave me pictures that he took from the cockpit at 65,000 feet that clearly shows the curvature of the Earth. The flat-earther immediately went into the “He’s lying.” “The cockpit is distorting the view making it look curved when it’s not.” and “It’s lens distortion.”

It’s like arguing with a log.

Confessions of a Man Who Shot Himself In The Head And Survived

May 2, 2022

 

What pushed you to do it?

A lot. Losing my girlfriend, the savings account we worked at for years, the business we created. Just exacerbated my anxiety and depression.

My ex really pushed me to get help in the times where I wasn’t struggling, so I became defensive and put it off. I shouldn’t have, because it would have given me the skills to get through the times I was struggling. Therapy is a bitch. I keep learning things about myself that I’m not proud of. Things I could have managed better for years. The more I learn, the more confident I become that I can better myself.

How long did you take to decide that you were ready to end it?

I decided the night before. It took about 12 hours for me to finalize it.

Did you think about your girlfriend before you did it?

She was in the house. I yelled that I loved her. Then I said Im sorry to my mom, and that I loved her (she wasn’t in the house). But yeah. For years, she was/is constantly my first thought.

What did it feel like when you shot yourself?

Nobody prepares you for what getting shot feels like. It doesn’t hurt. It doesn’t sting. It doesn’t ache. It just burns. Like fire in my head. And blood pouring from my mouth.

I think I was still in shock when I arrived at the hospital, but when they pushed the fentanyl, all that burning went away and I could recognize how much burning pain I was in.

I remember not being able to talk because my tongue hurt.

My pain the first month in the hospital got progressively worse, but high amounts of painkillers will trick you into that.

How did the shot not kill you? How did it “miss”?

I don’t fucking know. It went in by the corner of my left jaw, and came out above my forehead on the right side, taking most of the orbit of my eye with it. I fucked up.

What caliber did you use?

9mm Luger.

Maybe it wasn’t your time?

I wish. I don’t really believe in that mentality. Someone close to me said something along the lines of, “God wasn’t ready for you yet.” And my first thought was, “thousands of years of medicine research and a team of excellent doctors is the reason I’m here, but ok.”

I’ve read stories about how people who jumped off bridges (and survived) immediately regretted doing so and wanted to live more than anything as they were falling. Right after the moment, did you have regrets about doing it with a desire to live or maybe have disappointments that it didn’t work? Or maybe no feelings at all right after?

I woke up with a “what the fuck?” Mentality. I was more confused that I woke up. I didn’t really have feelings about it until a few months later when the drugs wore off.

What was the first thing your mom said to you afterwards?

I’m not sure what my mom said. I woke up post surgery and my whole family was there (they all had to fly in). I was very confused. (Now I know I was in surgery for 10 hours).

What was the road to recovery like for you?

It’s still ongoing. 2 months in the hospital/rehab, lots of follow up appointments, physical therapy, mental/emotional therapy.

Legal battles for custody and household items.

Lots of reintegration with my parents and immediate family, which has been great. It fortunately brought us all closer.

Before I did it, I can’t remember the last time my brother and I spoke on the phone even. It really shook my brother the most. I’m super grateful for his presence in my life now.

Physically, what are the long term consequences to your face and skull from shooting your self?

Physically, I lost my right eye. And I have a plate in my jaw forever. And my forehead is missing a piece of bone they took out during a bifrontal craniotomy. Beyond that, I’m pretty healthy.

Is your face messed up?

Pretty normal for a dude with one eye.

Are you dealing with chronic pain, nerve damage, headaches, etc.?

It’s alright. Headaches suck, mostly because only morphine is enough to dull them. Nerve damage is only in my jaw/tongue/cheek, which is frustrating, but I started vaping because it makes my tongue tingle, and I don’t bite it accidentally anymore.

Is she okay?

Probably not. But she won’t talk to me. I truly hope she is. Of all the negativity between us, I only hope that she’s doing well and that someday, sooner than later, we can sit down and have an honest discussion about it.

What’s something you would want to say to your ex-girlfriend?

This is something I think about all the time. Previously, I was very concerned with myself, and put myself into context when I didn’t need to. That’s something I’d change if I had an hour to sit down with her.

I’d really like her to know that I love her. To this day, nothing has changed. I’d like to have the conversation that I don’t hold anything against her, except for the fact that she knew and didn’t drag me to get help and stand by me, in ways I did for her, and leaving me in the worst of times.

I’d really like the opportunity to listen to her. I don’t know what she has to say, and I don’t need to hear anything. I wasn’t a very effective communicator during our relationship, and I’d like the opportunity to really hear her out, and share those emotions.

Do you still harbor thoughts about suicide?

They’ve mostly gone away. There are times I ponder it, but it’s more the idea of, whereas previously I was fantasizing the roadmap.

Did anything change about your personality or preferences on things as a result of the trauma? Something you would never expect that would change?

Not particularly in personality or preferences. I became a hell of a lot more forgiving and patient, which wasn’t much existent (except with my kids) before.

I think the thing that changed the most was having my emotional brain available. I wasn’t very capable of connecting with my emotions before, I genuinely thought I was broken. I really got down on myself when it came to my ex, because I couldn’t empathize with her when she experienced heightened emotions, and it put a wedge between us, or I did. Now I’m empathizing with commercials, and it’s really bizarre when I become mindful of it, even still.

Do you regret doing it?

I think a lot about regret. I don’t regret shooting myself. I regret the way I proposed to my ex. I regret the way I treated her and other people when they needed me. I regret losing sight of myself because I wanted to be someone else. I regret spending so much time looking for escape instead of looking inward. But I don’t regret shooting myself. It changed my world.

How are things going for you now?

It’s not really going better. I spent years developing a family and life. It’s going about exactly as I predicted before putting a gun to my head. But! On the other side of that, I’ve learned a tremendous amount about love, myself, and bettering myself mentally that I never could have without experiencing tragedy in my previous lifestyle.

And I get to share my story and hopefully help others, which is something I never cared much about.

Ivan the Terribly Crazy

So far, most of the crazy leaders discussed above, lived lives of luxury. Their madness was either the result of an insatiable ego or in Charles’s case, genetic. But Ivan IV, or Ivan the Terrible as he would come to be known, was different. He lost his mind due to the abuse he had suffered as a young man.

Ivan lost both of his parents at a young age. After the loss of his mother at the tender age of seven, Ivan was left defenseless. The elite members of the Russian government tormented and abused him. At an early age, Ivan began torturing small animals as a coping mechanism.

In 1544, at the age of 14, Ivan had had enough. He seized control of his country by having the head of the government fed to a pack of hungry dogs. He was crowned tsar two years later at the age of 16.

At first, it appeared being made ruler cured him of his insanity. He made a public confession and apologized for his various cruel acts. In the beginning, he was a good tsar. For example, he created laws aimed at creating class equality, so that no one would suffer as he had.

But it didn’t last long. He soon began massacring his own people, especially anyone who dared challenge his autocratic tendencies. As he got older, he became more unhinged and the paranoia and rage of his youth reappeared. This culminated in the murder of his eldest son, heir, and favorite, Ivan Ivanovich.