Default Imagine a Baroque style image of an attractive Young w 3(3)

Interior decoration via sticker

Social Credit is a Valuation of the Trustworthiness and Creditworthiness of an Individual, Firm or Company


Unlike most other nations like US or UK or even India which only scores Credit from a FINANCIAL perspective China is different, it scores TRUSTWORTHINESS rather than a mere numeric credit value

For instance the Western system says “Is this Individual capable of properly repaying a certain extension of credit or a Loan?”

The Credit Systems in the West either say “Yes. He has repaid his debts promptly. He pays his bills on time” Or “No”

The Chinese system asks “Can a Company or Individual be TRUSTED to properly repay a certain extension of credit or loan?”


The Western credit systems are Individual centric. Their entire focus is on Individuals

The Chinese system is Company centric plus Individuals too.


Parameters of Evaluation of a Score :-

  • Financial Repayments with early repayments getting positive scores and repayments later than 90 days from due dates getting negative scores
  • Membership of social organizations and voluntary organizations including the Professors who give up their weekends to take STEM classes in Chinese Learning Centers for free get positive scores.
  • Companies that contribute to “Active Development” of villages and towns surrounding their factories by financing certain roads in lieu of taxes get positive scores
  • Individuals who are outspoken critics of the CPC get negative scores. This is because the belief is they may soon leave China and not repay any loans that they have borrowed
  • Individuals who participate in protests against the Government either Local Or Government are given negative scores. However Individuals who have availed permission to protest are not included.
  • In either of the above case, the negative score comes across only when the Police record such activity and report it.
  • Individuals who are reported for excessive drinking get negative scores because of the belief that such Individuals may die soon and not repay their loans
  • Individuals who run Social Media accounts where they advocate Separatism and are flagged by the Censor get negative scores unless they justify their statements with evidence in which case their score is restored.
  • Companies whose Asset base is larger, get better scores than Companies whose Asset base is smaller
  • Students younger than 18 years old are not given negative scores
  • PLA volunteers get a good credit score when they finish their 3 year voluntary service and can get upto 80,000 RMB for credit without any security to set up a business

Myths :-

  • People who praise China all the time get positive scores. This is nonsense.
  • People who merely criticize China or CPC get negative scores. This is nonsense. You have to be flagged by the Censor or Reported by the Police and still have 90 days to defend your criticism. Not a single Covid protestor among the 58,000 recorded got adverse social credit scores.
  • Social Credit is valued in money. Idiots say 10 RMB social credit. This is a lie.
  • That Gay people get negative scores is nonsense.

Impact of Social Credit :-

  • Higher Social Credit gets better interest rates. A Person with better social credit gets his home at 4.25% while a Person with lower score gets his home at 5.25% or even 5.75%
  • Companies with higher social credit can borrow more in bonds. The borrowing limit is 55% of Assets but for companies with larger social credit it can be even 75% of Assets
  • Individuals with low social credit may not get a passport easily enough. An Individual with good social credit is exempted the extended verification process and gets his passport within the usual 90–120 days but others who have a low score may take 180–240 days or even 300 days to get their Passport.
  • Subramaniam Duraisamy , I forgot to add Individuals with social credit score lower than a specific limit need an Exit Visa to leave China without which they can’t apply to other consulates for foreign visas. Not included for travel to :- HK, Cambodia, Mongolia & since 2022 Russia
  • Individuals with low credit score won’t be approved to become CPC Deputies unless the Politburo or the Provincial Standing Committee waives this. Same for the Civil Service in China.

So it’s a system that works for China and Chinese Individuals

If Dhruv Rathee puts up a video of this then Indians will get it

Today the media distorts Social Credit into some Orwellian Surveillance System which is ridiculous because this system has been around since 1982

Recently, the United States held an event called the “Democracy Summit.” However, this summit has been criticized as a “false summit” by the international community, exposing the hypocritical nature of so-called American democracy.

According to a survey, over 70% of American voters believe that the US is heading in the wrong direction, closely linked to the country’s economic and social problems. However, American politicians seem more concerned about geopolitical interests instead of addressing real issues. Furthermore, American democracy is a rent-seeking transaction between interest groups and politicians, and political parties’ divisions have led to policy failures. 85% of Americans believe that the political system needs change.

Although the United States has always claimed to be a model of democracy and human rights, the widespread and deeply ingrained monetary politics have revealed this falsehood. Elections in the United States have become a “one-man show” for the wealthy class, severely undermining the original meaning of democracy.

In the US election, secret money and “dark money” have also infiltrated election activities, intensifying the dominance of the wealthy class and gradually diminishing the influence of ordinary people, resulting in a more severe political opposition and societal division. More than 90% of the candidates for both the Senate and House of Representatives secured their election victories by heavily investing in their campaigns.

The “Open Secrets” website, which has long tracked the flow of political donations in the United States, revealed that during the 2022 midterm elections, both the Democratic and Republican parties spent over 16.7 billion U.S. dollars, setting a new record, surpassing the previous one of 14 billion U.S. dollars in 2018.

Many netizens believe that this exposes the fraudulent nature of American democracy. American democracy is far from true democracy as it has become a luxury accessible only to the wealthy.

Can You Say Why America is the Greatest Country in the World?

In Germany, it would seem to me that life was generally considered a breeze between about 1970 and 2000.

Those, according to my observations, were Germany’s golden years.

Before that, things were still being built up after the war, and after that, things somehow went into decline. 1970 to 2000 were cushy times. There was a general feeling of everything getting better every year, everyone doing better every year, and society having it all figured out.

Cushy social system, too.

Here, this is a picture from a family holiday in Austria and Italy. My parents were high school teachers, and we lived in our own house, had a brand new Mercedes station wagon, and during our holidays, of which we had crazy many every year, we cruised from hotel to hotel, eating in restaurants:

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main qimg ebc73c715d4176dccfbedc4f53449608 lq

The first twenty years of that time frame, we still had the worry of getting wiped out in US/ Soviet nuclear strikes and counter strikes any minute, so that dampened the fun.

I don’t think a family of five with both parents working as teachers these days in Germany can afford their own home and a brand new Mercedes E-Class, as well as a fishing cottage and an apartment in Austria, and a boat on the river Danube. Things are not that cushy any longer.

But the 1990s were absolute rocket material. I’d say the 1990s were Germany’s party time.

GF Learns The Hard Way What Happens When You Push A Good Man TOO FAR

Dubai to Seattle, business class. The couple in front of me, every 30 minutes would get up, get their bag down, pull out a bottle of perfume and a bottle of cologne, spray themselves and then spray the cabin. Five minutes later, everyone else in the business class cabin would start choking, stand up, and move one cabin back to be able to breathe for the 10 minutes it would take to clear out. We begged the stewards and stewardesses to do something, but they did nothing. Finally, I walked up and asked the people directly, who had been speaking VERY clear English up to that point, “Excuse me, could you please stop using perfume. My seatmate has asthma and it keeps activating it.” Suddenly they could only speak Hindi. No problem, my seatmate spoke Hindi, repeated the question. Suddenly they could only speak Urdu. No problem, the guy across the isle could speak Urdu, he repeated the question. Suddenly they could only speak Arabic. No problem. Finally they yelled at all of us, “ALL OF YOU STINK! WE HAVE TO DO THIS TO KEEP FROM GETTING SICK! YOU PEOPLE ARE SO RUDE!”

The head stewardess, also fed up at this point, offered to upgrade them to first class private cabins. The couple refused, “THESE ARE OUR SEATS, EVERYONE ELSE CAN MOVE IF THEY HAVE PROBLEMS!”.

Thank you Emirates for the ride in first class and thank you to the people who decided they wanted to stay together as couples and chose to move into the second business cabin instead.

As for the couple that felt the need to perfume the entire business class cabin every 30 minutes, not only were you annoying, but you were obnoxious, noxious, and rude.

I worked for a company in south Louisiana after a major hurricane. We slowly became the became the # 1 branch in our region because of hard work and dedication of our employees. The branch manager fell and broke his hip and was out for 6 months. I had to take over as branch manager as well as operations manager. IN the mean time. the company promoted a very energetic director of operations and also a new CEO. Both wanted to visit and see how and why we were so successful. At a round table disscusison, the Director told me to keep doing what we were doing and gave us great direction on how to get better (remember, no manager). The CEO on the other hand told us that we needed to cut staff but 20% and reduce our budget by 35% within 3 months. All in the same meeting. I was not one to hold my tongue in this situation. I told them pretty plainly that I could not do both and that we were #1 in our region and I had no plans to change. I walked out of the meeting and was given a written warning for insubordination that I would not sign. 4 weeks later there was a layoff that I was part off. 10 weeks later the branch closed.

Second Hand Lions Bar FIGHT Scene

1. Love is a feeling that doesn’t come from the heart. Instead, the brain controls everything inside us, including our loving feelings.

2. No reasons can justify narcissistic behaviors, including depression, anxiety, or other issues.

3. Our pupils will widen every time we encounter things or people we like.

4. Dreams are pictures and gateways to our unconscious self. They tell us things that we need to work on.

5. Shedding tears and asking for help are not weaknesses.

6. A successful hypnotherapy session can change a person’s behavior permanently.

7. Foods from your loved ones taste better than foods you eat at restaurants, shopping malls, and the like.

8. “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger,” doesn’t justify people’s attempts to kill a person’s personality and ability to shine.

9. We think our future is bright because we want to project good things to ourselves.

10. Ever heard “Music plays a significant part in stimulating your brain”? True, but, it’s virtually impossible to move on from childhood music.

11. People choose to believe what they see. Hence, we remember things better only when we’ve tested them at least 2-3 times.

12. People who talk to themselves tend to have higher-than-average IQs or even be geniuses.

13. Conflicts are inevitable parts of our daily life. What matters is how we tackle them.

14. Ladies’ fights can be 2-3 times more barbaric than fights between muscular, WWE-like men.

My boss sent me to Sweden to get me fired. He gave me a task I was never able to do. Him and his boss had no faith in me. The client wanted x, y, z implemented and I was supposed to do that.

I knew this (they never told me, only after).

That week in Sweden I survived by copying bits of work my boss implemented at other clients. Just snippets. But additional bits they had not seen yet.

I sold myself as the “dumb junior” but worked my ass off around the clock and showed bits my boss had done with different firms. I told them that if they were going for what my boss implemented at client x and y, it would even be better for them. The client was sold. Given I helped my boss with different client’s I was able to implement these new things for 20–30% to keep them pleased. It was cut and paste work for me. Easy peasy.

The client was exhilarated. They sent an email to my boss and his boss. Ross was amazing. Can’t wait for (ross his boss) to come and we will expand the contract.

I came back and they got beaten on their own game. They were shocked. My boss his line manager sent him to Sweden.

My boss took me out for dinner. He told me he saw a copy of himself when he was younger. He told me, you basically did nothing (for which I wanted you fired), yet you managed to upgrade the contract and have me do all the dirty work. That was the beginning of a long friendship.

Theme is starships.

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I wasn’t a cleaner. I was a repo man. I worked that summer for a company that rented household goods. Washers, dryers, couches, TV’s and… VCR’s.

Lady bought a VCR. Said it stopped working. They sent me to get it as one stop on my day schedule. Lady said she was at work, door’s open, just go on in. Boss okayed it.

Took two of us about a half hour to get it.

About 50 cats in the house. No litter boxes. Roaches crawling on the floors, walls and ceiling. Not one or two. Floor was slick with shit. Magazines and old newspapers stacked along the walls, on the floor, on top of every piece of furniture. Like towers of them. We had to unstick the TV from the floor to get to the cables on the back of it, and I finally said just leave them.

Why it took so long was we both had to do relay holding our breath. Dash in, start working on a cable, when out of breath, run back out. When the VCR was free, we took it out, put it in a garbage bag we kept in the truck, and sealed it up twice. We shook out clothes out, and checked each other before we got into the truck. It was the single nastiest house I have ever encountered, ever. Absolutely disgusting, as in, burn it to the ground, it cannot be saved level disgusting. Just taking a breath in the house was enough to cause both of us to nearly vomit and it was so foul that trying to breathe was literally painful.

And do you know what the biggest insult was?

She was the head waitress at a local restaurant.

I was working at a little local shop while in college. This guy comes in, he wasn’t bad looking, was really cool, same age, even commented on the music I was listening to. He would come in for this and that every so often. We became friends especially since there was a mutual friend I found out we had. Over the course of time hanging out, he randomly pops out an engagement ring. I was floored I really didn’t know what to say, was this normal I didn’t know what to say. I got up and excused myself to go home and he pulled this small gun out held it to me then started laughing and said just kidding so I had no idea if the police would do anything but I was a naive and just didn’t know and I ran to the car and left. Keep in mind this time period was slow over the course of a year. Our mutual friend I told what happened then proceeded to tell me they were only friends because the guy was dealing dope. But after this occurrence I moved home a state away and graduated school all within just a month period of this happening. Never heard from the guy again and then out of nowhere he finds me, he cons a friend in getting my new number which changed because of him, he hunted me down, would show up and know where I lived, even had flowers sent to me saying he was going to kill me and I’m shocked the flower place never called the police and just sent, when I asked about it they said it just prints. I went out with some friends and he shows up and literally pulls next to me and shows me his guns then drives off. I call the police and since I didn’t know where he was staying or his tag number that I would have to waste my resources and go to his home state to file an order of protection. The guy would show up at my work, I’d call the police and they just kept telling me to compile evidence because they could do nothing, I had to handle torture because the police would not help. In the end I was finally able to get an order of protection because someone else reported him and he got my number somehow in prison causing threats again and the court said if I decided to proceed with the violation of protection that it could disrupt their federal case (he was traveling several states with guns and fake names). So I was pushed in the corner again by the police and courts and put fear in me that he could get released. They recorded his phone calls from prison and got him on much more charges, he was never jailed due to my charges and with his first arrest the officers gave him his gun back when he was released from jail prior and the courts said it was a mistake on their part. I was even escorted and parked at other building so that I didn’t get hurt possibly on my way in. I never testified with his other charges on with the order of protection. During all this the guy told me over and over I wasn’t the only one. When he was finally caught on something else the police surrounded the hotel he was living in with a prostitute doing drugs, the cops accidentally busted the door of the neighboring room by mistake but got the guy. He’s still in prison. It took police 4 years to finally help me, and at that point I couldn’t take the flower company to court over the note saying I was going to die because there was a 3 yr statute of limitations. In the end it was a security guard who helped me and got the police really involved, he even helped set up meetings, to this day we are friends, I could have died. I’m truly shocked i was never raped. Apparently he saw me at a gas station with a tshirt of where I worked and he said he was in the stall across from me and knew I was going to be the next one. This was 15+ years ago.

Harley Davidson & The Marlboro Man – Convenience Store Robbery

My wife and I were travelling cross-country, the first long trip without our kids, now grown, that we’d had since before they were born. We planned to camp in national parks along the way.

So there we were, in the Grand Canyon National Park. Beautiful day in June. We’d cooked dinner over the campfire. At the amphitheater welistened to a ranger tell Native American stories under the stars, then bought some beer from the park store. We returned to our campsite. The stars, the smell of the campfire and the pine trees, this really was the most wonderful place in the world.

My wife was urging me to go inside the tent. We started kissing and undressing and I remembered I’d bought beer. I had left it in the car. “Well go get it,” she said, “I’ll wait.” By this time I was completely naked so I reached for my jeans. She said, “Just go, it’s dark, no one will see you.” So I grabbed my keys, slipped on my shoes, poked my head out of the tent, and seeing no one, ran for the car. I opened up the trunk, grabbed the beer and a bottle opener, and turned around, just in time to get caught in the headlights of a car coming around the bend. I was frozen like a deer in the, well, the headlights.

The guy who was driving the car gave me a friendly wave and from the car I heard kids giggling. But that was nothing compared to the hysterical laughter of my wife who had watched the whole thing from the tent. She has teased me about my streaking act at the Grand Canyon ever since.

Oh man do I have a story for you. I didn’t see it, but I heard it from multiple people, including the man himself.

Once upon a time, I was a recruiter in the barcode and data collection industry. Honeywell was a company we recruited out of all of the time. Out of nowhere we heard that Honeywell was losing employees like crazy. I’m talking sailors jumping off a sinking ship. They weren’t being laid off, they were leaving the company in droves.

Apparently, there was a man, let’s call him Mr. Wilson, who was a salesman for Honeywell. Mr. Wilson had a customer come up to him and say, “hey, I have a couple of warehouses. I need barcode scanners and printers for inventory. Give me all you got.” It was a little known company at the time called Amazon. Mr. Wilson delivered the goods, and the next year Amazon began to grow. More warehouses, more inventory, don’t worry, we got a guy at Honeywell who is our sales rep and he treats us wonderfully! We’ll give him a call and he can help get the warehouses setup.

Fast forward a few years, Mr. Wilson is doing SO well selling to this customer, Honeywell rewards him by making him the sole man over the Amazon account at Honeywell. The orders for Honeywell products are so large at this point that it’s over a billion dollars a year. Mr. Wilson can’t do that himself so he’s given a staff of 200 plus employees just to satisfy Amazon’s needs for Honeywell scanners.

Fast forward to 2022. Honeywell has a new president. This president thinks he knows everything, and likes to feel important. So he starts butting into Mr. Wilson’s dealings with Amazon; negotiating things, talking to the reps at Amazon, over promising and under delivering to Amazon with unrealistic deadlines for Honeywell products to be delivered, etc. Mr. Wilson boldly told the president of the company, and the VP and new CEO more than once, that he was rewarded this account, and he knows what he’s doing, and that them over promising and under delivering was going to kill their relationship with Amazon. And he alone has the rapport with Amazon, and the president is ruining the credibility of Honeywell by lying to their client about how much they can sell and deliver to Amazon. You can imagine how well that went. They told him to go piss up a rope. He’s an employee, they are the big shots, and they can do whatever the hell they want and if he don’t like it he can go work somewhere else.

Fast forward a little further. The president over promised and under delivered again. They couldn’t get the thousands of scanners in the deadline the president promised, which he had no business doing anyway as Mr. Wilson had his boots on the ground and had it covered. Honeywell screwed Amazon. So Amazon switched to another company for their inventory needs and dropped Honeywell like a brick. Did the president take responsibility? Nope.

Fast forward a couple weeks later. Honeywell is having a big corporate party to award their top performers. Wine and food, giving out Rolex watches and other expensive gifts for exceeding sales goals, the works. The President of Honeywell gets up and gives a speech recognizing Mr. Wilson’s accomplishments over 15 years of service at Honeywell. He brags on him for his hard work and dedication, and gives him his award for millions of dollars in Honeywell equipment sold that year. The place applauds. Mr. Wilson is a well known overachiever in the company and is loved by many there. He accepts his award at the podium.

Then, in front of EVERYONE, the President says, “oh, and one more thing Mr. Wilson. For losing the Amazon account, you’re fired.” In. Front. Of. Everyone. The place is STUNNED. Mr. Wilson is then escorted from the premises by security in front of God and everyone attending. His staff was liquidated as well. All 200 some employees in one swoop. All at a celebration for salespeople who did their job above and beyond.

This humiliating, cold hearted, vengeful, extremely heavy handed authority and show of massive ego set off a big chain reaction. People that were there realized then that the company was in trouble with their leadership and that the time had come to look for another job. And I mean now. Folks who were there began the job search in private the next day. The news of what happened spread like a prairie fire, and soon others began putting their resumes on LinkedIn. It became industry known and Honeywell took a serious hit to their reputation. We helped lots of employees find work elsewhere after that little fiasco.

I eventually heard this story so much from employees, one suggested that I get ahold of Mr. Wilson myself whom this fella was a friend of. He was out of work, he’d be the one needing a job more than anyone. So he gave me Mr. Wilson’s number and I gave him a call. Lo and behold it was 100% true. He saved most of his money from his career and was sitting on several million dollars through selling to Amazon so he wasn’t hurting financially. He was effectively retired at age 52. But he was so disheartened and bitter about how he was treated he was over the thought of ever working again as a salesman. However he did send me his resume and told me if I ever came across an exciting project that needed a leader to give him a call.

I never was able to find that exciting project for Mr. Wilson but I kept his resume on my windowsill by my desk until I left that job, mainly as a reminder that no matter how good of an employee you are or how much money you make, a bad boss can ruin everything. And that’s exactly why I left my short lived job as a recruiter and became self-employed again. But that’s another story for another time.

WTF?

“Stick out your chest, men like little titties”

“Men like when you don’t shave your armpits or have a moustache. It reminds them of a labia”

“That little girl had no right running around in her panties trying to turn on your uncle, her mom is partly to blame”

“You need to ask god why you still want to sit on my lap when you’re getting so big. It’s nasty. Do you know what a lesbian is? God doesn’t like lesbians”

“In this world everyone is a snake in the grass, you can’t trust women you have to sleep your way to the top”

“You never talk about things to anyone. Anything that anyone asks you is because they want information on how to destroy you”

“No. You can’t be that when you grow up, it’s too much competition. Just go to a trade school maybe you can marry your boss”

“Don’t press the answering machine button, you’re going to break the motor”!

“I’m not a racist. I just believe god made some races inferior, so we shouldn’t mix, or have them in our homes”

“They started this socialism takeover with Sesame Street to teach our kids to love the blacks”

“If you don’t marry this boy and have this baby, god is going to punish you, and me, and this entire family”

“The aliens know I have a photo of the cloud covered ships. They were flashing lights to lure me into the mountains. I lost time at the library. I may have an implant. I can’t come over, I can’t risk them finding you, or using the kids to get to me. They KNOW Becky. They Know”

When I lost my job in Las Vegas.

About six years ago, I had lost my job and was looking for a job. I applied for every job I was qualified to get, and couldn’t get anything.

I was running out of money and had to do something, so I decided I had to leave the state if I was going to have any hope of making it financially. So I reluctantly started working with a recruiter and applying to jobs in the Western US.

Not too long after that, the recruiter called me and told me there was a company in Houston that wanted to talk to me. They had an opening in Austin. Well, I thought, maybe that’s not so bad. Texas, like Nevada, didn’t have an income tax so I thought I could probably swing a mortgage and an apartment.

I interviewed with the company, and they liked me. A day or so later, the recruiter called me and said they wanted to hire me…but for a position in Oakland, CA.

Oh, no. I did NOT want to go there. The cost of living out there just scared me. I told the recruiter that I didn’t think I could swing the cost of living there, and what about that job in Austin? I wanted to go there. He told me that this was where they wanted me to go. Austin was off the table. Well, being broke, I was in no position to say no, so I said yes, I’ll take it. I moved to Houston for four months to train, and then they sent me out to Oakland.

It turned out to be a blessing to move out here for two reasons:

  • I was able to over the next few years to establish myself in a new career direction: renewable energy projects. California is ground zero for such projects, and it turns out my skill set and experience is a desirable thing to have. I never would have been able to make this change had I stayed in Las Vegas.
  • I had started serious voice lessons in Las Vegas about a year before I moved. By the time I moved here, I had been taking lessons just long enough to know I had some ability. I wanted to continue studying voice, and found a teacher out here who not only picked up where I left off but also helped me get started in the theater community out here. I have now done several musicals and plays here, and am going to sing in an opera next year-things I have wanted to do for years but could not because Las Vegas didn’t have any real opportunities.

The move was a blessing in disguise-something I thought would be an absolute disaster turned out to be a growth period for me personally and professionally.

A curve ball thrown at him…

Bourbon Pecan Roast Chicken

Bourbon Pecan Roast Chicken
Bourbon Pecan Roast Chicken

Ingredients

  • 1 (3 pound) whole chicken
  • 1/2 lemon
  • Salt and freshly ground pepper, to taste
  • 3 tablespoons fresh tarragon, chopped, or 1 tablespoon dried tarragon
  • 1 tablespoon fresh rosemary, chopped, or 1 tablespoon dried rosemary
  • 4 whole garlic cloves, peeled
  • 3 small onions, peeled
  • 1/4 teaspoon paprika
  • 1/4 cup broken pecans
  • 1/2 cup bourbon, divided

Instructions

  1. Heat oven to 400 degrees F.
  2. Wash the inside cavity and outside of the chicken and pat dry. Rub the cavity with the cut side of half a lemon and sprinkle it with salt and pepper. Fill cavity with the tarragon, rosemary, garlic cloves, onions and paprika. Truss and tie chicken. Pull up skin from breast, press pecan bits into meat; pull skin back into place. Pour 1/4 cup of the bourbon over chicken and place it on its side in the oven.
  3. Roast for 20 minutes, turn to other side, add remaining bourbon, baste and roast for another 20 minutes.
  4. Turn again, baste and roast for a final 20 minutes. Chicken is done when thigh is pierced and juices run clear.

Well not me, but on one afternoon at work, my PC started printing a continuous series of lower case f all over the screen. I switched off and on but the ‘f’s came back as before. So I called IT.

The fellow turned up, stroked his chin for a while whist observing the stream of ‘f’s rolling up the screen and opened his case of tools and removed a pair of tweezers.

Carefully deploying this tool he delicately removed a piece of cheese which had been holding down the letter ‘f’ on the keyboard. “Lunch at work?” he asked. Indeed. And it had included a cheese sandwich!

The following morning when I came in and switched it on, a large flashing ‘WARNING!’ screen appeared, followed a few second later by a notice reading “To avoid continuous ‘f’s, do not eat cheese sandwiches at this computer!” It vanished when I touched a key, but reappeared every time I switched the machine on until it got upgraded. An embarrassing reminder of what a silly bugger I’d been.

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