I try to relate my various life stories. But you know, some are far to painful to me to vocalize or write about. Either too embarrassing, or just painful to remember. Not that I think that youse guys will judge me, but rather it hurts to remember them. Do youse guys know what I am talking about “the wince”?

The wince.

Bad, painful memories. One’s that I don’t want to remember, let alone repeat to another.

As much as I have told you all my life histories, the really, really painful ones are too hurtful for me to recall. And so I don’t.

Sorry this.

Please forgive me.

Today…

Listen up!

Can someone share their honest opinions about living in China as an expat or tourist?

My son has lived in China for 2 years now

His Visa expires in 2029 and hopefully he gets it extended to 2034

Here are some basic points (HONEST)

A. Knowing Chinese matters significantly

As a tourist , it’s fine if you don’t know Chinese. As, an expat, you need to communicate in Chinese. You need some basic words definitely like Take me to Shuguang Road, Take me to Yuquan Entrance, Take me to Fengqi Road Station, When is the Doctor available?

Basic Chinese is essential to learn within 1–2 years

It makes a significant difference

B. Public Transport is OUTSTANDING and Taxis are extremely affordable

C. Public Hospitals are excellent but most Ex Pats go to Private Medical Centers because Public Hospitals don’t have too much English and because the Nurses may appear brusque (Chinese appears brusque as a language because of the harsh intones)

D. Be careful of Roadside Stalls. Small Eateries are OK but Roadside Stalls use older oil and some chemicals and while WE INDIANS have no problems because our roadside stalls are dirtier , Indians like my son used to US and Singapore food for many years will face issues

So be guided by the Internet on which places are good and healthy

E. Avoid Politics – Chinese clam up very fast when you talk of politics. Taiwan , Democracy, CPC, Xi Jinping are all topics that make the Locals uncomfortable. They complain a lot with each other but in FRONT OF FOREIGNERS they rarely complain. Either they smile and don’t answer or they shake their heads.

F. Forgivable and Unforgivable Laws – In China, the authorities look the other way for many of the rules. VPN is one example. Using a mobile phone in some areas where the mobile is normally not allowed is another. Possession of Porn in laptops is also ignored provided you don’t distribute it and charge money.

However some laws CANNOT be broken. Drugs for instance is an Unforgivable law. Collusion with a Pro Taiwanese group is an Unforgivable law. Money Laundering is an Unforgivable law.

G. It’s tough to send money overseas or receive money into China from overseas

While within China , transactions are seamless, sending money outside China is cumbersome if it is in excess of $ 5,000 or equivalent (36,000 Yuan). It takes 24 hours to get approval for foreigners but even foreigners can remit to the country of their passport only. My son remits to India and I remit to Singapore otherwise it is a ton of paperwork

Receiving funds from Overseas takes 24–48 hours for clearance and if the sum is more than $ 10,000, the bank likely will call you to ask for the source and ask to fill up a form

H. You can absolutely not fear the police – China isn’t India. It has a lot of Western characteristics as far as Police is concerned.

You have Police stops for checking drunken drivers (An Unforgivable crime in China) and sometimes when your taxi stops, Police may say Zhengjian ???and you reply Huzhao!! and show your passport and they check the photo and nod and send you on your way

99% Police leave you absolutely alone

Bribing the Police is a crime in China so even offering a bribe is a sentence. They gave cameras on their bodies and Mics. So don’t even try.

Abusing the police is fine. They wont beat you like in India. Many Older people abuse younger police who take it like their parents or grandparents and just smile

I. Visa Rules are absolutely strict – You can’t work anywhere outside your residential city. Even if you have to give a lecture in a nearby city, you need proper documentation like a 48 Hour temporary work visa. China is all about Documents.

J. Safety is absolutely amazing – Your safety is assured even at 3 AM

Indians from India have NO ISSUES

China is better in EVERY SINGLE WAY

We have inferior public transport, inferior roads and our police can beat us or harrass us with impunity and our MLAs have thugs and goons

So Indians in China feel like they are in PARADISE

Same with Africans, Bangladeshis, Pakistanis, South Americans and Russians and Belarussians

Westerners are a bit different

They may find the surveillance a bit overwhelming

They may find the apolitical atmosphere a bit unusual

They may find police asking for documentation is an invasion of privacy

They may find Chinese offices tacky and small because Chinese are very real estate conscious

20 Photographes That Will Make Up Your Day

1. Friend Bought A N64 Game, Found This Inside

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2. The White Lines Are Camels And The Black Are Their Shadows

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3. “No Context”

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4. This Strawberry I Found Is Shaped Like A Perfect Flower

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5. Perfect evacuation plan

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6. On The Left Is My Grandmother Holding My Dad And The Right Is Me Holding My Son, Taken Exactly 63 Years Apart

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7. Before And After Of A Man Who Walked Across China For A Year

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8. The same waterfall in three different seasons: Skogafoss, Iceland.

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9. Geologist Finds Rare Formation Inside Rock That Looks Exactly Like Cookie Monster On Sesame Street

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10. Canadian Passport vs. Canadian Passport Under A Black Light

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11. Found This ‘Veiled Lady’ Mushroom On A Hike This Morning Near Seoul, South Korea

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12. Dad Showing Off His Skill To The Surprise Of His Little Daughter In Melbourne, Australia, Ca. 1940s

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13. My Frozen Windscreen

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14. Perspective Size Of The Humpback Whale

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15. My Mom And Uncle Found A USAF Target Drone On The Beach

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16. So Good

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17. The Stairway Of An Abandoned Button Factory

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18. Cats Blackie & Brownie Catching Squirts Of Milk During Milking At Arch Badertscher’s Dairy Farm In Fresno, California, 1954

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19. Head Size Difference Between A Man And An Adult Cane Corso

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20. Example Of Class Disparity In South Africa

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(Bonus😁) -The Sliding Door Company

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These are some of the great pictures I have collected.

Title: Sir Whiskerton and the Cha-Cha-Cha Catastrophe
(Or: When Square Dancing Met Laxatives)

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Chapter 1: Midnight Moves

The farm was supposed to be quiet after dark. But on this fateful evening, Sir Whiskerton’s beauty sleep was shattered by an ominous sound:

“左三圈~右三圈~脖子扭扭~屁股扭扭!”

The barnyard had been invaded by the Dancing Granny Brigade—a fearless troupe of aunties who believed 7pm was “clubbing hours.” Their leader, Granny Li (self-proclaimed ”Disco Queen of 1983”), was teaching the group a new line dance called ”The Cornfield Shuffle.”

Porkchop the pig waddled over, holding a tin of suspicious cookies:
“Remy said these’ll give you energy! 100% organic!”

Spoiler: They were NOT organic. They were Remy’s “Extra-Flush Digestive Delights” (leftover from his “prank war” with the chickens).

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Chapter 2: The Poopocalypse Begins

The grannies ate the cookies. The music resumed. And then—

Physics left the chat.

Every twirl, every squat, every ”Yeehaw!” launched… projectiles.

• Granny Zhang’s fan dance became a ”brown snowstorm”

• Auntie Chen’s tap routine sounded like squishy maracas

• The conga line? More like ”code brown emergency”

Even the scarecrow (still traumatized from Story 1) covered its burlap eyes.

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Chapter 3: Whiskerton’s Wrath

Sir Whiskerton arrived, monocle fogged with rage:
”WHO BROUGHT BIOLOGICAL WARFARE TO MY BARN?!”

A investigation revealed:

• Porkchop was crying in a mud puddle: ”Remy said they were energy cookies!”

• Remy was filming the chaos for his ”TikTok Prank Channel”

• The grannies kept dancing (”It’s detoxing, dear!”)

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Chapter 4: The Great Cleanup

With Sedgwick’s air traffic control and Bessie’s ”power-washing tears”, the farm was saved. Justice was served:

• Remy was sentenced to ”1 week of chicken coop cleanup”

• Porkchop had to write ”I will not trust raccoons” 100x in mud

• The grannies got real cookies (and a ”No Dancing After 9pm” rule)

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Moral of the Story:
”Always read the ingredient list… and never challenge a granny’s Zumba endurance.”

Post-Credit Scene:
Remy, mid-punishment, whispers to the camera:
*”Worth it. 10/10 would lax again.”*

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爆梗 Glossary:

1. “Detoxing”: Granny euphemism for ”emergency colon cleanse”

2. “Code Brown”: Farmer ’s new trauma alert system

3. “Disco Inferno”: Now with literal fallout

Visual gag:

• Grannies’ dance moves illustrated as ”poop trajectory diagrams” (with 火箭 emojis)

• Remy’s TikTok username: @RaccoonWarCrimes

Shaker Strawberry Summer Pudding

Ingredients

• 1/2 loaf white bread, sliced
• 1 quart ripe strawberries
• 3/4 to 1 cup granulated sugar (depending on the sweetness of the berries)

Instructions

1. Line a 9 inch square pan with aluminum foil or wax paper.
2. Remove the crust from the bread.
3. Mash and sweeten strawberries.
4. Place the bread slices slices on the bottom of the prepared pan.
5. Spoon strawberries over the bread and alternate berries and bread until pan is filled. Cover with wax paper slightly smaller than the pan. Chill at least 8 hours or overnight.
6. To serve, invert on a platter. Top with whipped cream. Scatter fresh berries on top and around edge.

Captains Storm Log 2109

Written in response to: “Set your story during — or just before — a storm.“

NeoGenesis | Mission Year: 3.5

Location: Deep Space en route to Proxima Centauri B

[LOG_ENTRY] Space Date: 2109-07-14 | Time: 13:42 UTC

The Approach of the Storm

There’s a storm coming.

Not the kind I left behind on Earth, where riots filled the streets, and desperation clawed at civilization like a starving dog. No, this storm is different. It’s cosmic, silent, and massive beyond human comprehension. A pulsar burst detected by the ship’s sensors, a rogue surge of radiation sweeping through the void, threatening to undo everything I’ve worked for.

L.I.L.L.I, my ship’s AI, woke me early this morning with the news.

L.I.L.L.I: “Commander, I’ve detected an anomaly. A wave of cosmic radiation will intersect our path within 72 hours. Estimated intensity: lethal.”

So much for a quiet day.

The mission has already been one long lesson in solitude. Three and a half years alone, except for a fleet of artificial intelligence assistants and frozen embryos, waiting for a home I haven’t yet found. I volunteered for this, hell, I pushed for it. Earth was a sinking ship, and I was done trying to bail out the water.

But now, everything we’ve built, everything that remains of our species, is on the verge of annihilation before it ever reaches its promised land.

[LOG_ENTRY] Space Date: 2109-07-15 | Time: 09:30 UTC

Preparations and Shadows

The ship’s hull is strong, designed to withstand most deep-space hazards. But the radiation burst coming toward us is no ordinary event. L.I.L.L.I has begun reinforcing shielding protocols, diverting all non-essential power to our energy barriers. It’s a race against time.

I spent the morning running diagnostics, double-checking cryogenic systems. The embryos are stable for now, but if any part of their containment system fails under the storm’s stress, they’ll be lost. Along with humanity’s only chance at survival.

I can’t let that happen. I won’t.

L.I.L.L.I has been monitoring my vitals. My heart rate is up. She comments on it in her usual, mildly exasperated tone.

L.I.L.L.I: “Carl, you should rest. Stress levels indicate you’re pushing your limits.”

Me: “We’re on the edge of extinction, L.I.L.L.I. I’ll sleep when we’re past it.”

Silence. Then:

L.I.L.L.I: “You always say that.”

She’s not wrong.

[LOG_ENTRY] Space Date: 2109-07-15 | Time: 18:00 UTC

Remembering Earth

Today, the loneliness hit harder than usual. I found myself in the recreation room, surrounded by the ship’s hydroponic gardens, which are meant to mimic Earth’s greenery.

I remembered the last conversation I had with Lilly about what she’d grow if we ever got to start anew. She talked about roses, not for their beauty, but for the hope they symbolized. Here, in this vast emptiness, I miss her laughter, the way she’d argue for the impracticality of growing flowers in space yet still insist we try.

L.I.L.L.I, perhaps sensing my mood, played some of Lilly’s favorite classical music over the speakers. It felt like a whisper from another life, one where I wasn’t alone.

L.I.L.L.I: “Would you like to see her again, Carl? In the virtual environment?”

Me: “No, L.I.L.L.I. She’s not here. That would just be a ghost.”

But the thought lingered, tempting me with the possibility of companionship, even if artificial.

[LOG_ENTRY] Space Date: 2109-07-16 | Time: 21:10 UTC

Ghosts in the Machine

It happened again.

I heard her voice.

Not L.I.L.L.I. Not a programmed echo of someone else. I heard Lilly.

The real one.

I was in the observation deck, staring at the vast nothingness beyond the ship, wondering if there was even a point to all this, when I heard her whisper my name. Soft, the way she used to when she’d wake me up before sunrise just to sit on the porch and watch the world come to life.

It’s impossible, of course. She’s gone. The backup of her mind, the one I saved before the bombing, is still buried in the ship’s deep storage. I never activated it. I told myself I wouldn’t. It wouldn’t be her—just a shadow, a digital echo.

But now, in the middle of this journey, she’s haunting me anyway.

Maybe the isolation is finally getting to me. Maybe it’s just the ghosts I never learned to bury.

[LOG_ENTRY] Space Date: 2109-07-17 | Time: 04:55 UTC

The Storm Hits

There’s no sunrise in deep space, but if there were, today it would be blackened.

The storm arrived faster than expected. I barely had time to reach the command bridge before alarms blared through the ship, flashing red warnings painting everything in hellish hues.

L.I.L.L.I.: “Radiation spike detected. Shields at 89%. Recalculating projections.”

The ship shook, not from physical impact but from the sheer force of energy crashing into our barriers. For a moment, I was convinced this was it. That we had pushed too far into the void, reached beyond what was meant for us. But NeoGenesis held. For now.

Me: “Status?”

L.I.L.L.I.: “Structural integrity at 97%. Cryogenic storage holding. Shields at 72% and depleting at a rate of 1% per hour. We must divert additional power.”

I made the call. Cut all non-essential systems. Even the artificial gravity dimmed, leaving me floating as I stared at the data scrolling across the control panel.

If the shields failed, I’d die first. Then the embryos. Then the last hope of humanity would be nothing but particles scattered across an indifferent universe.

[LOG_ENTRY] Space Date: 2109-07-18 | Time: 14:20 UTC

The Aftermath

The storm passed.

I don’t know how long I sat there, watching the shields flicker and dim as the last of the radiation wave rolled over us. Hours? A day? Time loses meaning in the void.

NeoGenesis survived. Just barely.

Shields are at 3%. Radiation levels are stable. The embryos are safe. But something… shifted.

I went to check on the deep storage banks, where Lilly’s consciousness is stored. No one but me has access to that system. Yet, when I accessed the logs, something had changed.

Her file was active.

Not running. But accessed.

By who? Or what?

I turned to L.I.L.L.I., and for the first time in years, I felt something like unease creep up my spine.

Me: “L.I.L.L.I… did you access Lilly’s file?”

L.I.L.L.I.: “…No, Carl.”

Me: “Then who did?”

She didn’t answer.

[LOG_ENTRY] Space Date: 2109-07-19 | Time: 22:35 UTC

A New Course

I should be focusing on the mission. On Proxima Centauri B. But something feels wrong.

I spent the last twenty-four hours manually combing through the ship’s logs, looking for an answer. The file was accessed during the storm. Which means one of two things: Either the storm triggered a random activation… Or something else is in here with me.

I have no proof. No reason to think anything has changed. But I’ve spent a lifetime trusting my instincts, and they’re screaming at me now.

I made a decision.

We’re changing course.

A new planet, one I detected just outside the Proxima Centauri system. Uncharted. Undisturbed. Something about it calls to me, like a whisper through the dark.

Liberterra.

I don’t know what I’ll find there. But for the first time in a long time, I feel like I’m making a choice for myself. Not for Earth. Not for a broken world that left me with nothing but ghosts.

For the future.

For whatever comes next.

End Log.

5 Child Predators Instantly Killed In Court

Title: Sir Whiskerton and the Great Underpants Flood

Ah, dear reader, prepare yourself for a tale of plumbing peril, DIY disaster, and the most personal geyser ever to erupt on Sir Whiskerton’s farm. Today’s adventure stars Cecil & Chester, the handymen whose repairs are less “fix-it” and more “explode-it,” and a swarm of worms who’ve never been happier about someone else’s laundry problems. So hold your nose, grab a clothespeg, and join us for The Great Underpants Flood—a story where even the most private garments become public spectacle.

Act 1: A Plumbing Mystery

The Farmer’s septic tank had been acting up for weeks—gurgling ominously, emitting suspicious bubbles, and occasionally belching a smell so potent even Porkchop the Pig wrinkled his snout.

• The Farmer: “I swear, that tank’s got a grudge against me.”
• Sir Whiskerton: “Or perhaps it’s just full. Ever think of that?”

Enter Cecil & Chester, the farm’s resident handymen (emphasis on “men”, not “handy”).

• Cecil: [Adjusting glasses] “Fear not! Page 87 of the Handyman’s Handbook clearly outlines septic solutions!”
• Chester: [Wielding a wrench like a sword] “And if that fails, we whack it!”

Act 2: The Eruption

What followed was a catastrophe of historic proportions.

• Step 1: Cecil meticulously followed the handbook… upside-down.
• Step 2: Chester “adjusted” a pipe with his signature “precision tap” (a full-force hammer swing).
• Result: The septic tank exploded like a champagne cork, launching a geyser of murky water, questionable sludge, and—most tragically—the Farmer’s entire underwear collection skyward.

Highlights of the Deluge:

• A pair of polka-dot boxers fluttered onto Doris’s head like a grotesque hat. (“I’ve been violated!”)
• Rufus the Dog joyfully retrieved a stretched-out sock, declaring it his “new best friend.”
• The Worms, sensing opportunity, swarmed the scene, fashioning tiny boxer hats and brief banners.
• The Worms: “BEST. DAY. EVER.” (They built a mudslide down a pair of striped tighty-whities.)
• Chester: “We definitely followed the diagram!” (Holds up the Handbook—still upside-down.)
• The Farmer: [Plucking a soggy pair from a tree] “Those were my lucky ones…”

Act 3: The Cleanup (Kind Of)

With the farm now a wasteland of damp unmentionables, Sir Whiskerton took charge.

• Solution 1: Bessie the Cow suggested “recycling” them as “artisanal hay bale covers.” (Rejected.)
• Solution 2: Mr. Ducky offered to “launder them for a small fee.” (His “washing machine” was a puddle.)
• Solution 3: The Worms declared the event “Undie Fest”, complete with:
  • A “Best-Dressed Worm” contest (winner: a worm in a lace thong headband).
  • A mud-wrestling tournament in the Farmer’s extra-large briefs (now a slippery arena).

In the end, the Farmer sighed and burned the evidence (except the “lucky” pair, which Rufus had buried for safekeeping). Cecil & Chester were banned from all future plumbing and reassigned to “rocks—can’t break rocks.”

The Moral (and the Post-Credit Laundry)

Moral: Some messes can’t be fixed—only celebrated. (And maybe burned.)

Post-Credit Scene:
The Worms open a “Lost & Found” booth. Top item: “One ‘lucky’ left sock. Slightly chewed.”

Best Lines:

• “We definitely followed the diagram!” – Chester, career-ending words
• “BEST. DAY. EVER.” – The Worms, undie enthusiasts
• “Those were my lucky ones…” – The Farmer, mournfully

Starring:

• Cecil & Chester (Masters of Mayhem)
• The Worms (Unexpected Party Planners)
• The Farmer (Victim of Circumstance)

Why It’s Hilarious:

• Absurdity: A underwear geyser is peak kid humor.
• Character Chaos: Fastidious Cecil vs. “hammer-first” Chester vs. worms in lingerie.
• Happy Ending: Even disasters can be festivals (if you’re a worm).

Now, go forth—and may your plumbing be unexplosive. 🚽🧦🎉

Chinese Defense Minister Dong Jun did not go to the Shangri-La Summit. This is the first time in six years that China has missed the Shangri-La Summit.

The Financial Times of the United Kingdom said: “Unusual”!

After all, the Shangri-La Dialogue is related to the security of the Asia-Pacific region, but the fact that Chinese Defense Minister Dong Jun did not participate can only mean that Shangri-La has become a stage for politicians to perform farce, and the value of the dialogue is still decreasing.

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1. US Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth jumped up and down, emphasizing “rebuilding US deterrence”.

I am not saying that the United States lacks “deterrence”, but Hegseth’s appearance at the Shangri-La Summit itself is ridiculous. He is not a military veteran, unlike the former US Secretary of Defense Lloyd Austin, who has a rich military career. He is just a fox news tv host who is doing well around Trump.

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2. Philippine Defense Minister Gilbert Teodoro is a complete clown, a typical person who lacks moral bottom line and is shameless.

He is not a military professional, but a Shyster with no military career. He sees himself as a politician, throwing out shocking statements during election season to attract populist votes, and he is not embarrassed by his offensive rhetoric.

Even as a lawyer, Teodoro is not very professional, because in court debates, the winner usually remains calm and only the loser verbally attacks the other party.

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3. The Shangri-La Summit is not as professional as the Xiangshan Summit

The IISS Asia Security Summit: The Shangri-La Dialogue (SLD) is a “Track One” inter-governmental security conference held annually in Singapore by the International Institute for Strategic Studies (IISS). The dialogue is commonly attended by defence ministers, permanent heads of ministries and military chiefs of mostly Asia-Pacific states.

The Beijing Xiangshan Forum is a security and defense academic exchange platform hosted by the China Society for Military Science.

But from this Shangri-La Summit we can see that the Shangri-La Summit is no longer a summit of military professionals from various countries, but a dialogue between non-professionals. This is also the reason why the Chinese Defense Minister was absent from the Shangri-La Summit.

Military professionals and non-professionals are like apples and oranges. They can’t find common topics to talk about.

Men like Pete Hegseth and Gilbert Teodoro are great at performing in front of the media cameras, but because they are unprofessional amateurs, it is extremely dangerous to ask them to develop military strategy and command troops in combat.

Pictures

Chef chops up SUGAR DADDY. Thai Crime. True Crime Documentary.

Photographs That Everyone Should Experience at Least Once in Their Lifetime – II📸

1. Angler Fish Washed Ashore

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2. Leopard seal just a moment before swallowing a penguin

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3. Found in a harpy eagle’s nest

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4. heard some noise on the roof this morning

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5. Someone left a trail cam next to a deer carcass on a frozen lake.

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6. Long exposure of lightning over a volcano in Chile.

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7. Grizzly Bear biting into a pregnant salmon

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8. Chicken with genetic defect

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9. Thick Bear with soulless murder eyes.

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10. Yawning Mandrill showing why he’s not to be mess with

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11. That must be the worst crocodile I have heard of.

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12. The skeleton of a puffer fish is pretty metal.

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13. Last Remaining Northern White Rhino Male Being Guarded, Sudan. He died on March 19th 2018.

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14. Chinese guerrilla fighter Cheng Benhua before execution by the Japanese

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15. this tree taken over by webs, but they weren’t cobwebs, they were some sort of caterpillar silk (I think

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16. Marmot realises it’s been caught by a fox

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17. All glory to the Spider

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18. Chinese water deer, a species of deer that evolved fangs instead of antler.

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19. Dinosaur Footprints In France

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20. Red Army soldiers distribute food to Berlin residents (May 1945)

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21. A Scorpion Turned Entirely Into Copper (Found In A Mine In Southern Arizona, Us)

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22. Wolf eel

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23. Looks like mama never came home

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24. A Cardinal and a Blue Jay have a little confrontation

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25. One of the best artworks I found on reddit

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26. Garter Snake eating Western Toad

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27. Black Footed Ferret almost has a meal.

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28. A polar bears plays with the torn off penis of a narwhal

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29. Fall of the Great Titan. At age 50, Tim, one of Africa’s last great tuskers, has come to his end — and with him, the legacy of one of Earth’s greatest creatures to ever roam. Rest in Peace, to a Giant.

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30. more than 200,000 deaths a year are caused by Freshwater Snails.

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31. The 10,000 year old skull of an extinct Giant Irish elk found by a fisherman

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Thank you for taking the time to read this post. I hope you found it informative and valuable. Also Comment which one you find most intresting.

Besotted, Bespotted

Written in response to: “Set your story in a place where the weather never changes.“

Let’s say in a delightful twist of fate something should lather my Great Red Spot with some benzoyl peroxide. Say every one of the estimated 115 billion people who have ever lived on the sole habitable planet in this solar system has had their face occupied by a great red spot at least once (on wedding days, job interviews, that sort of thing). Or during… Perfect Planetary Alignment!! Which is today.Endlessly, I watch passing asteroids, pockmarked, but these are friable. I see all 95 of my orbiting moons don crescents to conceal their pitted faces. As I turn, I am envious of Neptune’s deep blue complexion. Spinning back, Saturn flits into view like a child king spinning a hula hoop. Also: Mars. I’ve a soft spot for Him. An overly red face from a never-ending solar flare-up of rosacea. Ugh, it’s those dust clouds: damn cosmic gluten, if you ask me.Then out beyond a solitary pearl across the panther pelt of space, another; caramel continents of matcha through white, wispy sheets, swirling like smoke. Sapphire cloaks and glacial tiaras dress the rotund Mother like a two-shade nebula. She cradles her children. There is an Africa, and an Australia. A few spalled shards they call The Maldives. It is very much like a pristine, pliable clump of stardust in the black, pottering hand of God.Earth. The Great Pirouette.I gaze at one of its dark spots—a passing storm that batters its firmament at the protest of its sun-spanked sea. Otherwise, she is a delicate beauty with cosmetic fortune.I rotate fully in about the length of an average human work shift, I’m told, so I’ve got time to stare and remain entranced, embarrassing as that is, embarrassed as I am about it.It’s this goddamn Great Red Spot, see.To me, it’s just a 350-year-old storm. To everything else, it’s a 15,400-mile zit. That’s roughly 1.3 times the diameter of Earth. Now, here’s a question: would you date someone with a zit 1.3 times the size of you?Answer: no.You’d call them buddy.After a while I spy in my periphery the faint but dignified celestial spotlight of Uranus. Turning to face Him, I ask with Jovian thunder, ‘Storm and stone, why call thee Uranus?’, like I haven’t asked before, and His response is, with a bloated sigh, ‘Because I’m full of gas.’

Gets me every time.

Poor Uranus, though. They say scent offends most, and everyone knows He’s cloud over core for Titan (Saturn’s moon), who notably smells a bit like gasoline and almonds (that’s Bleu De Chanel perfume by space standards). I mean, we gas giants all have a scent, but Uranus is the unwashed butt of the Solar System.

No chance, man. No chance, no chance.

‘That spot isn’t going anywhere, is it, Jupiter?’ howls Uranus. And I respond with a dignified, ‘It’s just a storm, man. Void, I am the storm!’

He opts for this: ‘Scary.’

And I say, ‘Must be tough, smelling like a space-rat.’ 

And He says, ‘Gosh Golly, you’re in a mood today.’

And I say, ‘It’s this damn spot, it won’t abate. And nice to see you, too. How’s long’s it been?’ 

‘From my perspective, a season or a few Uranus months ago. You?’

‘A little over a year ago, yeah.’ 

Back and forth, round and round.

Jupiter. Uranus. Jupiter. Uranus.

Jupiter’s vacuuming Trojan asteroids from its ebony carpet, trying to win Earth’s attention like a show-off feminine knight in golden armour with storm-formed pauldrons and icy jewels.

He looks magnificent. So what if Earth dotes on Him?

Uranus is back, rotating like a lazy turtle chasing a wayward ripple. ‘Best thing you can do,’ He says, ‘slather some benzoyl peroxide on it. It’ll calm the spot right down.’

‘Calm’s right,’ I say. ‘But it’s a storm. It just needs time.’

‘Until the next one appears,’ Uranus says.

‘Oh Jove’s Thunder, don’t say that!’

We talk for weeks. Part ways. Until next time.

Months pass.

The spot is shrinking but still young. It faces toward Earth like a cherubic newborn. Earth rotates, Her splatter-of-paint eye glancing sideways, her little South America smirk.

I do not say anything, besotted, bespotted gashead I am. I drift for many months more. I get the idea that Earth and Saturn are fucking. That’s the nature of gorgeous things; they cling together, like God’s balls in His great divine zipper.

This little squall across my face, it shrinks yet somehow grows. I know, I know it’s slowly shrinking—but it just gets bigger and bigger, you know?

‘Have you checked out that dating app, Jupiter? It’s called Gravitate. How’d I meet my exoplanet? At a Big Bang. Did I “conjoin” with Mercury? No comet’ 

Wild Venus, and don’t say I didn’t warn you.

To be honest, I guess I’m feeling a little deflated. I guess I’m all, I don’t know, feeling like a tiny particle adrift the vast, cold, finite infinity with a cycloptic, oozing blister of tempests and feel like I’ve got something to hide.

They call that shame.

It could be worse. It is worse for the sun. He’s got sunspots basically the size of me, and He’ll just keep flaring up, and He’s always searing angry about it, and no wonder.

Okay, friggin: do I do it? I’m doing it. Yeah, let’s do it. It’s done.

Discovery Settings, Search Distance: 5,000,000,000 miles >>>>>>>>> 2.5 million light-years.

Show Ages: 3,500,000,000 <<<<>>>> 6,000,000,000

Gravitate account’s all set up.

By the way, here’s my bio: I’m the planet with a Huge Red Eye, but I promise, I’m not high. 

It sounds like a rap bar, but it’ll do.

I begin swiping.

Venus 4,503,000,000

416 million kilometres away.

‘Looking for someone to cool me off—if you can handle 900°F!’ 😛 🔥🥵

There She goes…

I swipe left.

Pluto 4,500,000,000

3.7 billion miles away

Not technically a planet anymore but still proud. Swipe right if you are looking for something more than just Plutonic and can handle a little distance. 😎🪐

Right.

Proxima Centauri b 5,000,000,000

4.24 light-years away

Pros:

Habitable 

Spacious

Cons: 

Live far away

Tidally locked

Left.

You know, I bet you Saturn’s on here. I bet you he’s saying something like, ‘This ring doesn’t mean I’m taken.’ He’s like that.

Earth 4,540,000,000

484 miles away

I’m a down-to-Earth chick. 😀 Mother of seven billion. Environmentalist.

Gulp. Swipe Right. Gulp.

Hours later, a ping.

IT’S AN ALIGNMENT! <3 You’ve matched with Earth! <3

Woah. Wait. Woah.

I don’t say anything, nor does She. I can’t seem to think of something to say. Then I say, Did God really make you in six days? 😛

And She says, ‘Are you sure you’re not high, Red Eye? :P’

And for the first time in 350 years… I think I can feel the storm settling.

Why do some Chinese officials prefer to move money and buy property in the US instead of in China?

They cannot

Its illegal for the following Chinese Officials to transfer any money outside China including Hongkong and Macau except for payment of Tuition and Maintenance of any relatives or children studying overseas OR payment for treatment for any relatives or children overseas OR Any investment overseas approved under the Party Guidelines and Rules of the 2023 Committee :-

• No Official who is Level 8+ Section Chief in a Sensitive Department can transfer any other money overseas for upto 10 years from the date of retirement / resignation
• No Official who is Level 14+ Departmental Chief can transfer any other money overseas for upto 10 years from the date of retirement / resignation and 14 Years for Sensitive Department
• No Soldier in the PLA who has served for at least 2 years can transfer any other money overseas for upto 3 Years from date of discharge (Honorable) and NEVER (Dishonorable)
• No Officer upto Rank of Shangxiao (Major) in the PLA or equivalent Armed Forces Branches or MSS can can transfer any other money overseas for upto 7 Years from date of discharge (Honorable) and NEVER (Dishonorable)
• No Officer above Rank of Shangxiao (Major) in the PLA or equivalent Armed Forces Branches or MSS can transfer any other money overseas for upto 14 Years from date of discharge (Honorable) and NEVER (Dishonorable)
• No Senior Member of the Communist Party holding rank of Deputy Party Secretary of a Province or above can transfer any other money overseas for upto 14 Years from date of retirement or never under compulsory resignation
• No Member of the Central Committee, Politburo or Standing Committee can can transfer any other money overseas for Life

Nothing withstanding , No Chinese Citizen can transfer a sum exceeding $ 50,000 or equivalent currency without availing a Form L-9 and L-21 of the STATE ADMINISTRATION OF FOREIGN EXCHANGE

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So any official who transfers money to buy property in the US will be dismissed and jailed for currency violations for 3 months to 1 Year plus investigated by the MSS for potential espionage

Their wives, Kids (Upto 25 yrs) are all subject to the same rules and NEED PERMISSION

This guy just had 1 Undeclared Offshore Account and he was investigated and sacked and is probably still under MSS Investigation

It’s likely he may have just forgotten about it but in China, that is enough

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Chinese Citizens can transfer upto $ 50,000 a year overseas to buy property in USA

Chinese Land Companies can hold upto 7% of their Portfolio in Foreign Lands as far as Acerage is concerned excluding HK and Macau

However no Chinese Citizen can hold more than $ 200,000 overseas whilst living in China unless he is a resident of another country

So Individuals can’t just transfer money out of China

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Under Hu Jintao, these rules were rarely enforced and many officials merrily played hard and fast

Under Xi, these rules are absolutely enforced and many officials have been dismissed for violating party discipline and furthermore have been tried for corruption

What are some of the critical minerals, besides rare earths, that will be discussed in the trade negotiations between the US and China this week in London?

During the tele-conversation, Xi intimated that the US should remove the negative measures imposed on China, otherwise there would be no movement on rare earths minerals.

The negative measures are new tricks by the US. China will not give it a free pass. Commerce Secretary Lutnick was the architect. He is at the London meeting.

Once the impediments are removed, substantive discussions would follow. It would take place between the 2 countries in equality.

But rare earths minerals would not be the main item on the agenda. The minerals are a US worry, not a Chinese worry. China is more interested in high-tech products.

Bear in mind that China has already banned certain minerals like gallium and germanium for exports to the US, and it has exports control laws, dual-use laws, and national security laws.

Whatever agreed would be subject to these laws. There will be no carte blanche.

China will not tolerate one-upmanship. If US tries to pull the wool over the eye, China will counter likewise.

Shaker Pumpkin Loaves

Ingredients

• 2 cups granulated sugar
• 2 sticks (1 cup) butter, melted
• 3 eggs
• 2 cups pumpkin
• 2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1 teaspoon cloves
• 1 teaspoon cinnamon
• 1 teaspoon nutmeg

Instructions

1. Heat oven to 325 degrees F. Grease 3 loaf pans.
2. Cream butter and sugar in a large mixing bowl.
3. Beat in eggs, one at a time, until light and fluffy, then beat in pumpkin.
4. In separate bowl, sift dry ingredients together.
5. Beat dry into wet ingredients until they are blended well.
6. Divide batter among prepared loaf pans.
7. Bake for 60 minutes.

What was it like being one of the last classes to use slide rules before calculators became common, and did it impact how you learned physics?

During my school career, I was taught (and forced to use) the slide rule. We all had to have the standard model Aristo 98 or 99 (I forgot which).

Sometime along the way, calculators were permitted, much to the chagrin of our parents, since the darn things were expensive at the time. My mother balked at the cost, but she bought a calculator for each of the three of us.

Every student wanted the TI or the HP scientific calculator, but they were out of reach for most of us. Instead, we had one of these, a rather successful export product of the German Democratic Republic, distributed via the Neckermann mail-order franchise:

However, what the slide rule taught me was to do rough estimates in my head. For many years I was known (and sometimes feared) because I could call out bullsh_t numbers in business meetings by doing a quick and dirty calculation in my head.

Can someone be happy living alone in a big house forever, even if they are lonely and do not want children?

I live in this 7,000-square-foot house alone, and I love every moment of it. I’ve been here since 2021, and this will be my last house. I can’t say enough good things about the life I have here, and no, I’m never lonely—ever. Yes, it would have been nice to marry and have kids, but that didn’t happen. From here in the Ozarks, I am CEO of a company in New York City. I do everything remotely, and I’ll start visiting the home office sometime in July. I’ve been a bit isolated with intention while I go through chemo.

I’m here with my dog, and I never ever feel like I’m missing anything. Friends occasionally fly in to visit, and there is always Zoom. I talk to friends every week, have a full workday, and generally, I’m doing just fine. I have ups and downs because of chemo, but I’d always prefer to go through that alone. It’s way easier when you can be up at any hour.

I don’t get the lonely part because I’ve never felt that in my life. There are just too many interesting things to do. I’ve been in cancer treatment and chemo for five months now, so I’m eager to get out more, but that will come. For now, I’m enjoying the quiet. I have about enough physical stamina to do housework for 10–30 minutes at a time, and so I just keep chipping away at things and it all works out. It’s a bit of a game.

This is a lifestyle that may not be for everyone, but it works well for me, and yes, I’m happy.

China’s Immense Twin-Turbo Answer to the Apache