I know that I am getting old.
Looking back at all the jobs that I have held in the past, most of those related to engineering would have these older guys working. Sure, they would put in part time hours. Maybe working twenty or so hours. And you would see them occasionally from time to time at their desk in the office.
Their desks were usually bare. Clean. Sterile.
They were friendly and they would puts around with one or two project and then go out.
And one of the characteristics of these older guys, aside from their cheery nature, and relaxed attitude, was that they came and went as they felt. Oh for certain, it was for “banking issues”, a “dentist appointment”, a “hospital visit”, or to do some “personal things”.
And sure as shit…
I find myself doing this exact same thing right now. I have taken on the personae of the older worker that is occupying a seat in the office. Oh, for certain, more or less.
I am getting older.
And I’m not at all fretting about it.
Today…
What has been your biggest career mistake?
When I was in the college, I was working on my final semester project. I was the most hardworking student, my grades were never less than 90% throughout my career.
I was capable of doing my project single handedly, so I started doing it. When I completed my project almost 90%, one of my friends asked me to join my project. I was hesitant initially, but anyway he was my friend and I took him.
Only paper work was left, so he helped me to complete it. And I gave him equal credit for my project.
You know what happened next? When the results came out, he got “Excellent” grade and I got “B” for my own project.
So what was my career mistake? Including him into my project?
NO.
Team work is very important. Then what was the mistake?
He had very good communication skills, I offered him to present my project because I was shy/hesitant/problem with public speaking. When professor(external) asked any question about my project I was aware of the technical details but I was not able to express it properly. External concluded that my friend has completed that project and I was only the sidekick.
And it costed my grades dearly.
People usually make fun of not knowing English. I think it is debatable topic, in my opinion English is important for your career growth, but when you use this language for “show off” then you are nothing but a fool.
Career mistakes you can/should avoid:-
- Work on your communication skills. Mine was poor. I started working on it few years ago. Maybe I should have started little early.
- Generosities have their own limits. If you can do 90% of your work, then you can also do 100% of it.
- Never allow anyone to take credit of your work and never take credit of other’s work.
- No one is your friend, girlfriend or boyfriend in the office. Be professional. Office politics can ruin dearest relationships.
I learn from the mistakes of people
Who took my advice.
This Is The Truth About China: 45 Days In A Misunderstood Country
What did someone do on an airplane that made you say “You’ve gotta be kidding me”?
The passenger had to be sedated before the plane could take off, which caused a slight delay as we waited for that particular passenger to “be knocked out cold.”
Before anyone comments, let me clarify: The pilot himself announced over the intercom that the passenger was being flown out and that we would stop at [xxx] airport, where an ambulance would be waiting. It turned out this passenger had just received a donor match for a kidney and liver transplant!
This passenger had boarded the flight before we did, so we didn’t see the medical equipment. There was a nurse seated near him, which blocked the view. The seats to the left and behind him were intentionally left empty.
All passengers were refunded $50 for the “inconvenience” of having to land at an airport and then take off again to our destination. The pilot accepted the “emergency request,” and he reminded everyone that, “That gentleman there could be you.”
Interestingly, three passengers requested to be removed from the flight (why, I have no idea) and bumped onto another flight. One didn’t want to be around someone who might die on the plane, and the other two were frankly disgusted by the situation. The pilot had already informed us that we would only be about 10 minutes late to our destination.
Since we were on a small Boeing 727 (an older plane), we were bumped up on the runway for emergency protocol. As a result, everyone else had to wait (there were about 27 or 28 planes on the taxiway).
Once we landed, a couple of passengers wanted to wish the man luck, but he was still sedated and unconscious. The medics quickly boarded the plane, placed him on a gurney, and within two minutes, he was gone—they were in a rush!
Afterward, we were given the privilege of being bumped ahead of everyone else at the airport. For the life of me, I still can’t figure out how we arrived 15 minutes earlier than expected, even though we were told we would be 10 minutes delayed!
It was the 3 passengers that departed after the announcement that left me with “You’ve got to be kidding me!”
What did your boss say to you during a meeting that resulted in you immediately resigning?
When my dad passed from COVID, I relocated my remote work to another state to take over care-giving for my mom untill we could figure things out. She suffers from dementia and required a lot of care, but I was the lead developer on a project, so I worked whatever hours necessary around the family emergency to keep the work on schedule.
Two weeks in, I wake to my mom screaming for help, having fallen and unable to unpin herself from between the toilet and a wall. She was taken by ambulance to the ER. Since I’m following behind, I have the consideration to alert my boss and key members of the team of what’s going on. It’s early morning, so it’s just voicemail.
Cut to five or six hours later and my boss calls. We’re still in the ER, but after a barrage of tests, they think they’re going to admit my mom. It’s now 1130 and he wants to know if I’ll have my laptop available to run a 100 meeting. He’s not happy I didn’t think to bring my laptop to the ER.
The nurse come in so I rush off the phone. He calls back, wanting to know if I’ll be dialing in. I tell him I don’t know, I don’t yet know what’s going on with my mom and I again have to rush off the call.
He calls back to confirm me for the meeting. I lose my shit and go off on him. I’ve just lost my dad, my mom’s in the ER and I’ve been exhausting myself to keep the project moving. I stop my rant, let him know that I won’t make his meeting, I’m going to be taking some time off. Then I told him if I hear one more word I would go to HR and look into the FMLA and see where that leaves the program…and hung up.
I didn’t quit on the spot, but the first thing I did when we left the hospital was put my resume out and left shortly after. The project stagnated and I heard my boss was dropped.
Every Man NEEDS To See This…
What is the craziest office scandal that happened at your job?
The former CEO of my company was married and apparently having an affair with his married secretary (back in the day, that’s what they were called).
She was unhappy with her husband, who was a wannabe fiction writer and not very successful.
For background, the CEO was an obnoxious bully who treated everyone like dirt, and I reported directly to him.
One month after he started, I was having lunch with a friend who was another of the CEO’s direct reports.
I told my friend that I was quitting due to the CEO’s constant yelling and abuse. My friend asked me to hold off for a week.
During that time, he arranged for me to report to him rather than the CEO, which was great, and I stayed at the company another twenty years.
The CEO divorced his wife, the secretary divorced her husband, and the two of them got married.
The CEO was later fired, and the ex-husband of the secretary became a bestselling author (John Lescroart, for those that care to know).
I was amused.
What would happen if mainland Communist China used chemical and biological weapons against Taiwan?
The PLA does not need weapons of mass destruction to liberate Taiwan.
Robo-Tigers, unmanned ground vehicles (UGVs) and drones are enough to keep Taiwan’s “Black Bear Force” busy, and can use AI to accurately identify Taiwan separatists and conduct precision strikes.
The list of Taiwan independence elements, their facial features and physical features have been included in the big database. We will not kill one good person by mistake, nor will we let one bad person go.
World’s Largest Corn Chips Chili Pie
This was fixed at Odessa, Texas in October, 1986 during the Permian Basin Oil Show. Proceeds from the chili pie feed were donated to the Odessa Youth Shelter. Foods were donated by the company of each brand name mentioned.
Yield: 20,000 servings
Ingredients
- 5,000 pounds cubed ground chuck
- 500 pounds onions, chopped (reserve 50 pounds for garnish)
- 225 gallons canned whole tomatoes, chopped
- 156 pounds William’s Chili Seasoning Mix
- Garlic to taste
- Chili powder to taste
- Salt to taste
- 1,000 pounds Fritos brand corn chips
- 1,000 pounds pre-grated Kraft Cheddar cheese
Instructions
- Locate 10 people who will spend 3 days chopping onions. Bag the onions and store in a cool place.
- The morning of the event, brown meat in a 20 x 4 x 3 foot wood burning kettle using sterilized rakes.
- Add 450 pounds of chopped onions and continue “raking” until onions are tender.
- Add tomatoes, chili seasoning mix and other spices and simmer at least 5 hours, adding oak wood to kettle to keep temperature at 140 degrees F.
- Just before serving, add a layer of corn chips to chili surface.
- Top with layer of grated cheese and remaining onions.
- Serve by scooping all four layers into bowls.
- Flip pie as served so corn chips are on the bottom.
- As corn chips, cheese and onion layer is depleted, stir chili and add new layer of each to newly exposed surface.
- Repeat until all chili is served.
What was the worst day of your life and why?
For quite a while I had noticed this large lump beneath my ear, I Googled about it and concluded that it was probably a lymph node.
I asked my doctor about it and they asked if I had experienced a cold in the past while. I had, and they said that lymph nodes can become inflamed when you’re recovering from a cold/infection. Okay, nothing to worry about.
Flash forward about 3 months, it had slipped to the back of my mind until I was resting my neck with hand in class. I felt around, it had gotten larger, and upon feeling around I found another enlarged one off to the left of my right ear. This made me quite concerned, it should’ve gone away by now according to the internet. I made another appointment with my doctor and he referred me to get an ultrasound on the back of my neck.
What seventeen year old male has to get an ultrasound? I went to the clinic, they squirted the bluish-clear cold goop onto my neck and looked around. I remember the scene quite vividly, very little light in the room, the intimidating machine, the goop-warmer for pregnant ladies, even the AC-DC playing on the radio station.
The results were sent to a lab and I would find out in a couple of weeks. I strongly believed it wasn’t anything serious, I was going to be okay. But there’s always that thought in the corner of your mind, what if it is something?
I walk to my appointment, time to get my good news and forget about this whole thing. My doctor said that a biopsy should be performed to be sure. I get it done quite quickly and come back for my results.
He’s usually an upbeat guy, joking around to make everyone feel comfortable. We’re sitting in his office, my mother is right next to me and he is across the room at his desk.
May 30th 2018.
“It’s non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma. <Explaining it all, I tuned out at this moment>”
My mom burst into tears immediately, I sat there in utter shock. I always thought it was cliche when people say their “life flashed before their eyes”, but it really did. Why is this happening? Things like this aren’t supposed to happen to me or my family, only other people. Why me, this can’t be true.
But it is, I have cancer, there’s a real possibility that I may die.
I’m still coming to terms with it all, I have only told a few of my closest friends. My mom seems to be more upset than I am, which I guess is reasonable. She made me, she has spent the last seventeen years looking out and caring for me.
If there’s one last thing I could tell any of you reading this, please live your best life. It’s taken the possibility of me dying to realize how unhappy I was with my life.
What’s the point of it all if you aren’t happy?
(I don’t know if I’ll ever update this post, I just wanted someone to talk to that wouldn’t start crying when I brought it up)
Shorpy
Why do a lot of people hate skyscrapers?
I actually love skyscrapers.
That said, they are generally a bad idea, except in certain, specific cases.
Let’s take a look at the current, worlds tallest building.
The Burj Khalifa in Dubai.
I’ve actually been there. If you stand where the photo is taken, it’s difficult to lean your head back far enough to see the top of the building.
It’s quite an impressive building. And, it’s almost entirely unnecessary.
The reason you build a skyscraper is because you have a high demand for space in that location and not a lot of room to put buildings. So a lot of people want to live there and there is only so much room. So you build up.
NY is a GREAT example. Tons of people want to live in the city but there isn’t a whole lot of land. So, what do you do, again, you build up.
But, here’s the thing when it comes to Dubai, where the Burj is located, They do not have a huge demand for real estate. Quite the opposite in fact.
Despite what people who have never been there think, there is not a huge group of people clamoring to move to the UAE.
And also, look at this.
They have TONS of empty land they could build on, really, really close to the city. I know it’s hard to see from this map. But, trust me, Dubai is not that big.
There is literally no reason for the Burj and a lot of the other skyscrapers in Dubai. And, most of them are completely or nearly completely empty. They are just enormous, dick measuring contests between a bunch of children with far too much money.
Can I Have Your Attention Please
Submitted into Contest #289 in response to: Start your story with the lines: “The room is unfamiliar. I don’t know how I got here.”… view prompt
Jan Keifer
I look at him incredulously, “What do you mean by that?”
“Oh, I’m sorry. Hold on just a second while I reverse the effects.” He pulls a box out and pushes a button and suddenly my memories return.
He pushes another button on the box and the wall opens, revealing an audience people. Spinning me around, he looks at the audience and says, “Can I have your attention, please.” All is quiet. “What do you say, Sam. Are you ready to go for level four? You have a hundred thousand now, do you want to risk all to continue. What do you say? Yes or No?”
I thought about how strange the last three levels were. I saw my parents in the front row nodding their heads. I hear myself say, “Yes!”
The room is unfamiliar. I don’t know how I got here. I don’t remember anything from my past. A bed, table, and chair sit in the middle of the room I sit down in the chair and the chair tilts down ejecting me through the a hole. I land about twenty feet down in another room. I look around and see four doors, one on each wall. I choose the first one I see. The area beyond the door is alive with sounds. It’s a rainforest and I am staring a crouching tiger, ready to pounce. I run. I jump a ravine and fall. I underestimated how far the other side was. I fall into a river at the bottom of the ravine.
I hurry, swimming towards the shoreline. I hear a splash behind me and turn, watching in horror, seeing the tiger swimming towards me. Reaching the shore I pull myself out of the water and take off. I don’t turn to look back. I grab a vine and swing over the next ravine and drop. I stop, panting hard and look back. There’s the tiger glaring at me. I wasn’t sure the tiger could cross the ravine so I run. I find a tree and climb up and look down. The tiger had given up and gone away. I lay my head back on the trunk of the tree and close my eyes.
I open my eyes and I’m back in the unfamiliar room. A man sits by the table. He gets up and holds out his hand.
“I would like to congratulate you on making it to level four. Only a few people have ever made it to level four.”
I push him away and yell, “Who are you? What’s happening to me?”
He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a box and pushes a button. “Sorry, I always forget to restore your memories.”
I am getting a sense that I should be remembering something. My brain is still trying to piece everything together when it suddenly freezes up on the scene of a tiger ready to pounce on me. I scream and push the man down and run. I hit the wall and bounce back falling to the floor.
“Sam? Sam, are you okay? The man says.
“Your name is Tom.” I say. My memory starts filling in the blanks.
“Yes it is. Sorry, it’s a side-effect of the process.” He takes my arm and pushes another button on the box. The wall disappears, revealing the audience. They all rise and applaud and I can hear chanting, “More, More.”
“Yes, folks, here his is. Now, will he continue? Sam will you walk away with your winnings or will you triple it by completing level five. A moment of silence ladies and gentlemen while he contemplates the decision. Sam you now have two hundred thousand and if you complete level five you will walk away with six hundred thousand. What will it be? You have fifteen seconds to decide.”
A large display on a screen behind my head started the countdown. You could hear the murmuring in the crowd as they whispered among themselves and placed side bets on my decision. I thought about the last level. It didn’t seem that scary now that I could look at it logically. There was an escape route and all I had to do was escape. I just needed to think, which I was very good at. I heard myself yell, “YES!” The audience roared. I closed my eyes relishing the attention.
The room is unfamiliar. I don’t know how I got here. There is a table, a chair, and a bed. I go over to the bed and sit down and fall through the frame. I continue falling through the floor and falling hard at the bottom of another room. My leg is twisted at a crazy angle and my head is swimming. I see a door. I stand and test my leg. It hurts but I’m able to walk. I walk through the door and fall.
I cradle my head and curl up into a fetal position to try and brace for the impact. I land in front of a herd of strange animals. They ignore me as I look around. I hear a noise. The animals stampede in my direction. I run also. I dive behind a rock and cover my head, coming out once they have passed.
There is a horrific beast staring at me. It growls and I run. I head for the trees. The creature chases me. I grab onto the nearest branch of the first tree and swing myself up on the limb and start climbing up. Hoping that the beast can’t climb trees. To my horror, I see it climbing up.
All the trees are somewhat interconnected and I start racing from tree to tree. I check the progress of my protagonist. It’s not as as fast in the trees. The ground is close now and I jump down.
I hear a thud as the creature jumps to the ground. I start looking for anything that I can use as a weapon. I will have to kill this thing before I can rest. A branch falls and I grab it up. It has a sharpened point where it split from the tree. It seems sturdy enough to use as a spear. I stop and brace myself. The creature runs onto the spear impaling itself, dying. I close my eyes.
I hear clapping and open my eyes. The room is unfamiliar. I don’t know how I got here. A man sits on a chair by the table. He stands up, takes my hand and shakes it.
“I congratulate you on making it to level five. Fewer people have ever made it this far. What you did with that branch was amazing.”
He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a box and pushes a button. “Okay Sam. How was your experience? Are you okay? You’re looking a little pale.”
I am getting a sense that I should be remembering something. I take a deep breath. My head is spinning and my leg is throbbing.
“Where am I?” I ask.
“Come with me, Sam. You will remember everything in just a moment.” He pushes another button and the wall disappears and a roar goes up from the audience.
My brain resets and I look down and see my parents looking up at me solemnly.
“Sam, are you going to make your parents proud and go to the next level. You have only one left. I will tell you now. Only two people have ever made it back from level six. One billion. Will you be the third in our game? I will put five minutes on the clock this time and you can go over and discuss it with whomever you choose this time. While you are deciding we will take a quick break to check in with our sponsors.” He cues the camera crews and then leads Sam over to his parents who are climbing up onto the stage.
“Mom, dad, I don’t know. It’s a lot of money. We could live in a better place.” I thought about what would happen if I didn’t survive the next level. They were holding me and crying.
I finally said, “I have to. I will survive. My survival instincts are good.”
Tom, cued the camera crews and everyone got back to their seats. I walked over and took my place beside Tom.
“Well folks, here he is with his decision. Sam, what will it be. Are you going to risk it all to complete level six the very last level worth one billion dollars? I need your answer, now.”
“Yes!” I say, closing my eyes.
I hear a grating noise and open my eyes. The room is unfamiliar. I don’t know how I got here. There is no furniture and the floors are smooth. I finally get tired of looking for a way out and sit down against a wall and close my eyes listening for a moment.
I open my eyes and flail my arms about to try and stop the fall. My body is plummeting rapidly to the room below. I cradle my head and roll up trying to protect myself from the impact. I hit the bottom and cry out. I didn’t break any bones, but I hurt. A ladder hangs over me. I am hurting too much to attempt climbing the ladder so my only option is the door in the wall.
I go to the door and open it slowly. It leads to a meadow. A river is flowing to the side and there are deer grazing. I walk out head towards the river. I squat down and put my hand in the water. The water is icy. I am trying to remember how I got here.
I hear a growl that stands my hair on ends. I turn and see a large wolf looking at me and snarling. I could never run without the wolf catching me. I do the only thing left I jump into the river. I see the wolf running towards me. I swim. The water is so cold that I am having trouble breathing. The wolf is running beside the river following me and waiting for me to come to shore. I swim faster, trying to get to the other side, but my body is cold and I am having more trouble moving my arms and legs. My teeth are chattering and I know I am not going to make it. I sink to the bottom and realize, I’m in waist-deep water, a hundred yards from where I jumped in. The wolf is there trying to decide if it is worth getting wet to come after me. I stand and struggle to make my legs carry me to the other side so I can pull myself out of the river. I stumble and fall and swim to the other side. The wolf sits down on the other side and howls. The sound hurts my ears and I cringe. I make myself crawl out of the water. I start scooching backwards and come to a stop against a tree. I look up and see my salvation. I pull myself up and grab the side of the tree and start climbing the tree. I get about twenty feet off the ground and look down. A pack of wolves have arrived. Braving the water, they now sit at the base of the tree. They try to climb the tree and fail. Finally they leave. I climb further and find a decent limb to spread out on. I close my eyes.
I hear a noise and open my eyes. The room is unfamiliar. I don’t know how I got here. A man is coming to me grinning.
“Welcome back. Sam you have done amazingly well. That was incredible how you jumped in the river. That was ingenious thinking on your part. That is the kind of thinking we need in our newest colony. You earned a seat on the next transport. You will have to sign a non disclosure agreement on everything that happened here. All you can say is that you won the money. Do you understand? We only have so many spots available in the new colony. This is how we choose the brightest minds.”
I could hear everything he said and I was reveling in my moment. I was going to the new colony that was all that mattered. Tom pushed a button on his box and the wall disappeared one last time. The audience surged the stage and his parents were up on the stage and grabbing him as he walked forward.
“I did it. Did you see? I made it.” I yelled above the crowd, as my parents joined me. I shook Tom’s hand and smiled for the camera then signed the non-disclosure agreement on the podium.
I hear a coughing noise and open my eyes. The room is unfamiliar. But I know how I got here. I am on the transport ship with my parents heading to our new lives.
How does China measure and maintain public satisfaction without traditional voting?
Chinese people are not interested in voting because they have a very high veto power.
Before any official takes office, there will be a 3-month public notice period. During these 3 months, anyone can raise objections.
Before taking office, an official was found out that his wife had quarreled with a nurse in the hospital, and he did not stop it, so he was relieved of his post;
Before taking office, an official was found out that he had driven a car worth more than $100,000; the public believed that this was not in line with his income; when the Commission for Discipline Inspection investigated, he missed the 3-month public notice period and was relieved of his post.
Many Chinese officials say: Their appointment is like a sheep passing by a pack of wolves. He must be very careful not to be reported by people.
Have you ever had a person who knew nothing about your job tell you how to do your job?
Happened all the time on Quora before I retired as a lawyer with more than 43 years experience. People would ask a question on a legal subject, which I knew something about, and I would answer it and would be told by completely no-nothing numpties that I was wrong and they would substitute their own rather idiotic opinion. Still happens!
My Wife Wanted An Open Marriage, But I Gave Her A Taste Of Reality That Ended Our Relationship
What is the biggest culture shock you have ever faced?
It’s been almost 10 years since I played Holi with my family. So this year finally I visited my hometown during this festival.
When I reached my hometown, I could sense people’s excitement for Holi everywhere. When I was a kid, we used to play Holi with our siblings (including cousins) and friends. It used to be a 1–2 hour long session.
Then our neighbors used to come with buckets of colors, irrespective of gender. And Holi used to end with our torn clothes and a bath in mud (including cow dung).
And lastly in the evening, people used to visit us, and we used to visit their house with dry colors.
I had witnessed almost 100s of guests (uninvited) in one evening and we used to welcome them happily.
It was like an unnamed tradition which we used to follow during this festival.
When I reached my home, I was excited for this adventure again in my life after 10 years.
I was soaked in oil, so that it would be easier to clean colors from my body.
I forgot to tell you, in these 10 years, our joint family became nuclear. So no cousins to play Holi with.
But, I had the hope that neighbors will not spare me.
No One Came.
Then I played little Holi with my mom and dad. One of my cousins came and visited me, I played with him.
This was not the end, I started expecting guests in the evening of Holi day. Because this festival remains incomplete if you don’t taste multiple dishes in others’ houses.
Once there was a time when 100s of people used to come, but this time again,
No One Came.
This is the biggest cultural shock for me in my own culture.
The tradition which was followed by our people since thousands of years has been forgotten in these 10 years.
This is quite common in cities where people generally don’t bother about their neighbors and relatives.
But my hometown is not a city, but a small town consisting of a few people around us. We don’t live in flats, infact we have our own houses and neighbors.
And I don’t understand what has happened in these 10 years, that the distance between people has increased so much, that people don’t want to bother about what’s happening in someone else’s life.
We are developing, technology is in our hands. Everyone is connected with one tap of our finger, but in reality we have created vacuum around us.
It was shocking for me, that our culture has changed drastically. Maybe I should visit my home every Holi.
Sir Whiskerton and the Riddle of the Laughing Cucumber: A Tale of Glowing Greens and Feline Ingenuity
Ah, dear reader, prepare yourself for a tale of mystery, mischief, and one very peculiar cucumber. Today’s story is one of riddles, glowing greens, and a cat who proved that even the most absurd situations can lead to profound insights. So, grab your thinking cap and a sense of curiosity, as we dive into Sir Whiskerton and the Riddle of the Laughing Cucumber: A Tale of Glowing Greens and Feline Ingenuity.
The Mysterious Cucumber
It all began on a quiet evening when Sir Whiskerton was enjoying a peaceful stroll through the vegetable patch. The moon hung low in the sky, casting a silvery glow over the rows of tomatoes, carrots, and, of course, cucumbers. But something was amiss. As Sir Whiskerton approached the cucumber patch, he heard a strange sound—a high-pitched giggle, followed by a series of cryptic mutterings.
“What in the name of catnip is that?” Sir Whiskerton muttered, his ears twitching. He crept closer, his green eyes narrowing as he spotted the source of the noise: a single cucumber, glowing an eerie green and bobbing slightly as if it were alive.
“Hehehe! Riddle me this, riddle me that!” the cucumber giggled, its voice echoing through the night. “What has roots as nobody sees, is taller than trees, up, up it goes, and yet never grows?”
Sir Whiskerton blinked in disbelief. “A talking cucumber? And a glowing one at that? This is either the most absurd mystery I’ve ever encountered or I’ve had one too many catnip treats.”
Sir Gherkin’s Arrival
Before Sir Whiskerton could investigate further, Sir Gherkin, the charismatic leader of the glowing cucumbers, emerged from the shadows. “Ah, Sir Whiskerton!” Sir Gherkin said, his glow pulsating with intensity. “I see you’ve met our newest arrival. Quite the enigma, isn’t he?”
“Enigma is an understatement,” Sir Whiskerton replied, flicking his tail. “What’s going on here, Sir Gherkin? Why is this cucumber laughing and spouting riddles?”
Sir Gherkin sighed, his glow dimming slightly. “We’re not entirely sure. He appeared in the patch just this evening, and ever since, he’s been giggling and speaking in riddles. The other cucumbers are starting to get restless. They think he’s some kind of prophet, sent to lead them in a grand uprising.”
“An uprising?” Sir Whiskerton raised an eyebrow. “Of cucumbers?”
“Indeed,” Sir Gherkin said gravely. “They believe his riddles hold the key to their liberation. If we don’t figure out what he’s saying, the entire vegetable patch could descend into chaos.”
The Investigation Begins
Sir Whiskerton knew he had to act quickly. “Very well,” he said, straightening his monocle. “We’ll solve this riddle and put an end to this nonsense before it gets out of hand.”
The two unlikely allies—a sleek black cat and a glowing cucumber—approached the laughing cucumber, who was now giggling uncontrollably. “Hehehe! What has keys but can’t open locks?” the cucumber chortled.
Sir Whiskerton groaned. “This is going to be a long night.”
Porkchop the Pig Joins the Fray
As Sir Whiskerton and Sir Gherkin pondered the cucumber’s riddles, Porkchop the Pig wandered into the vegetable patch, drawn by the commotion. “What’s all this about?” Porkchop asked, munching on a stray carrot. “Did someone say something about an uprising? Because if there’s food involved, count me in.”
“Not that kind of uprising,” Sir Whiskerton said, rolling his eyes. “We have a talking, glowing cucumber who’s spouting riddles and inciting the other vegetables to revolt.”
Porkchop’s eyes lit up. “A talking cucumber? That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. And I once heard a duck claim he could predict the weather by quacking at the sky.”
“It’s true,” Sir Gherkin said, gesturing to the giggling cucumber. “And if we don’t figure out what he’s saying, the entire vegetable patch could be in danger.”
Porkchop scratched his head. “Well, I’m no detective, but I do know a thing or two about riddles. Let’s see if we can crack this nut—or cucumber, as it were.”
Deciphering the Riddles
The trio gathered around the laughing cucumber, who was now reciting another riddle. “What has a heart that doesn’t beat?” it giggled.
Sir Whiskerton frowned. “A heart that doesn’t beat? That doesn’t make any sense.”
Porkchop, however, snapped his trotters. “I’ve got it! It’s an artichoke! No, wait—that’s not right. Hmm.”
Sir Gherkin’s glow flickered as he pondered the riddle. “Perhaps it’s a metaphor. Something that represents life but isn’t alive itself.”
Sir Whiskerton’s eyes lit up. “A painting! Or a statue! Something that symbolizes life but doesn’t have a beating heart.”
The cucumber giggled again. “Hehehe! Close, but not quite! The answer is… a deck of cards!”
The trio groaned in unison. “A deck of cards?” Porkchop said, throwing up his trotters. “That’s the most ridiculous answer I’ve ever heard.”
The Vegetable Uprising
As the night wore on, the other cucumbers began to gather around the laughing cucumber, their glows intensifying as they listened to his riddles. “He speaks the truth!” one cucumber exclaimed. “We must rise up and claim our place in the world!”
Sir Whiskerton knew he had to act fast. “We need to figure out what this cucumber is trying to say before the entire patch revolts.”
Sir Gherkin nodded. “But how? His riddles are nonsensical. How can we decipher them?”
Porkchop, ever the optimist, had an idea. “Maybe we’re overthinking it. What if the riddles aren’t meant to be taken literally? What if they’re just… jokes?”
Sir Whiskerton’s eyes widened. “Of course! The cucumber isn’t a prophet—he’s a comedian! He’s not trying to incite an uprising; he’s just trying to make everyone laugh.”
The Resolution
With this revelation, Sir Whiskerton approached the laughing cucumber. “Listen here, you overgrown pickle,” he said, his tone firm but kind. “Your riddles are amusing, but they’re causing quite a stir. The other cucumbers think you’re some kind of leader, but you’re just here to make them laugh, aren’t you?”
The cucumber’s giggling subsided, and for the first time, it spoke in a clear, calm voice. “Hehehe! You’re right, clever cat. I’m just here to bring a little joy to the vegetable patch. But sometimes, even the smallest voices can hold great wisdom.”
Sir Whiskerton nodded. “And sometimes, the greatest wisdom is knowing when to laugh.”
With the mystery solved, the other cucumbers returned to their peaceful existence, their glows dimming as they settled back into the soil. Sir Gherkin, relieved that the uprising had been averted, thanked Sir Whiskerton and Porkchop for their help.
The Moral of the Story
As the farm returned to normal, the animals reflected on the night’s events.
The moral of the story, dear reader, is this: Even the smallest voices can hold great wisdom. Whether you’re a laughing cucumber, a glowing gherkin, or a cat with a knack for solving mysteries, it’s important to listen carefully and consider the deeper meaning behind the words. And sometimes, the greatest wisdom comes in the form of a good laugh.
A Happy Ending
With the vegetable patch restored to peace, Sir Whiskerton returned to his favorite sunbeam, content in the knowledge that he had once again saved the day. Porkchop, meanwhile, celebrated with a well-earned feast of carrots and cucumbers (non-glowing, of course).
As for the laughing cucumber, he remained in the patch, occasionally giggling and sharing riddles with anyone who would listen. And while his riddles were often nonsensical, they brought a touch of humor and joy to the farm—a reminder that even the most absurd situations can lead to profound insights.
And so, dear reader, we leave our heroes with the promise of new adventures, new riddles, and hopefully, no more glowing vegetables. Until next time, may your days be filled with laughter, love, and just a little bit of feline genius.
The End.
Can you believe it? Electric cars from China’s BYD can travel 400 kilometers after just 5 minutes of charging. Do you think that’s possible?
Chinese usually don’t announce things unless they are 1000% sure things won’t backfire
BYD was primarily a battery maker for electric vehicles before they began to start manufacturing cars
Plus they demonstrated this on 17th March
Yes, it was not a proper commercial setting and it was ideal conditions but even otherwise assuming a 30% slower rate, that is still 408 Kms in 6 1/2 minutes
Pretty much 1/3 of the Industry standard where 408 Kms today averages around 19 1/2 minutes for most of the batteries
So on the whole, Yes it is pretty much possible
This is China
If it wasn’t possible, by now you would have a lot of people going after BYD in the West, especially given BYD is a major competition to Tesla, Mercedes, Audi and Toyota electric vehicles
Wife Caught LYING To Meet Up Her Ex Boyfriend, Gets Humbled By Husband When He Realised The Truth
What is the most condescending advice you received from someone who assumed you were poorer or less educated than them?
I have quite a few of these.
First of all, you should know I look really young, early twenties. I’m in my early forties. Because of this, most people feel entitled to give me all sorts of advice. They ask me if and what I’m studying in college, and when I internally laugh and tell them I have a job, they tell me I really should study and get a degree, and start with the same old spiel about how important a good education is, how difficult it is to have a good job if you can’t find a good job, etc. Which ends up with me telling them either we how many degrees I actually have, and to do the maths and guess how old I actually am, or me telling them the degrees I have and that I own my company (a language school).
I also have the most beautiful and sweetest dog on the planet – people stop us all the time to compliment his looks (his behavior when we’re indoors). He just has a bit of a problem with loud noises, after a big scare he had as a puppy. This means we’re working on how to walk properly without running home as soon as possible, at least in his mind. There’s a few people who we meet at least once a month, who have to give me advice on how to deal with him. Except… I train dogs, so I know what to do, and when I don’t I go ask my mentor.
Another one with my dog happened just a few days ago. One of the above-mentioned ladies tells me I should take him for a walk in a place she’s sure I’d never been to. I don’t recognize the name, she tells me she’s headed there, so I go along. I didn’t know the place had a name, but we’d been there quite a few times. When we get to this ditch, she stops and asks me if my dog will be able to climb up the side of the ditch. I don’t understand what the problem is – she’s got two mini-four-legged thingies, why shouldn’t a proper dog be able to? So she goes first, her two dogs go down and up again to make their way out, and she waits for me. My dog and I hop over together, and I tell her we’re training for nationals. He really is a good boy.
I generally prefer letting people say stuff and not correcting them. I don’t really care, plus I live in a small town and we all sort of know each other, at least the faces if not the names. So they’re bound to be corrected by someone else, in their very wrong assumptions about me. That way, they’ll feel dumber than when I do it.
There’s more. There’s always something, with a face like mine. I look like a kid, I dress in denims and hoodies, just like my students do because I’m more comfortable and I can get through to them better when they think of me as of an older friend. So all sorts of adults try and talk me into getting descent jobs, degrees, or lecture me about how to live life and stuff.
Am I offended or fed up? Not as much as I’m amused by all of this. You know what they say of the verb “assume”…
The future has no reason….
Submitted into Contest #289 in response to: Write an open-ended story in which your character’s fate is uncertain.… view prompt
Julie Grenness
“Thus spake Lady Bellepheron Isiaha-Elija, your sentient mushroom prophet. Heed my good news!”
The fungi were awakening from their timeless slumber of mindless meditation. Lady Bell pronounced her faith innovative, a new religion to her zealots one and all. “Our faith is called, “Happy Clappies!”
Lady Bell smote her simple drums, slightly deafening her congregation, increasing steadily, as fungi swarmed in the gloom.
“Heed my good news,
Blessed are the fungi, lichen and slime.
We have inherited the Earth, after all this time!
Fear not, little flock, we all ascend to the Great Fungus in the sky,
Might as well go forth and multiply,
So we all survive,
Enjoy being alive!”
Soon, the word of Lady Bell was spreading. Roused to sentience, rows and rows of line-dancing, boot-scooting mushrooms and toadstools went prancing to the same innovative tunes.
Lady Bell summoned her flock to daily morning revival meetings. As the sun arose each day, the “Happy Clappies” were convened in session. Lady Bell preached to her assorted followers, so long kept in the dark and fed BS. Lady Bell raised her lid, sounded her drum, and her adherents waved their dead seaweed, her voice loud.
“Now sing along, magic mushrooms, and toadstools! Sing and dance, let us pray!”
Lady Bell smote her drums, and sang, in her loud, clear voice. Her tune was the old relic of a once human song, slightly paraphrased, “The Spirit in the Sky’. She sang her tune, ending ‘You got to have a friend in fungus!”
Then she concluded, “Fear not, little flock Now go forth and breed more fungus. This planet is ours! Come early, tomorrow, Happy Clappies! This is our new religion. ”
Happily, the fungi cheered as one, and pranced off to their being . So began their novel existence. All now believed in their faith, they were all going up to the Fungus in the sky. Deafened by the drum, the mushrooms and toadstools began spontaneous hugs and dancing.
Unfortunately, sentience amid the fungi has also awoken revolutionary thoughts. One rebel fungus assembled like-minded insurgents to form a rabble of counter-sentients. They all wished to reform the fungi to their former state of mindless meditation, to destroy Lady Bell with her high ideals, religous philosophies, and middle class name. This would restore their lonely planet to ooze and slime, dwelling in its primeval origins.
The anti-sentients insurgents fashioned machetes for mushrooms from more of the obsidian rocks to found on the rocky shores of the sepia brown oceans, awash with dead kelp and seawood. These rebels wanted no more ‘bells and smells’, no more group hugs and line-dancing.
Hostilities broke out, patches of resistance to the new sentience of the faith innovative, “Happy Clappies’. Machete wielding mushrooms slashed sentient fungi’s stalks as they stood, celebrating in the dawn of each day, as the sun rose anyway.
Finally, the few remaining adherents huddled around Lady Bell. All seemed excremental to their encampment. The oncoming mindless mushrooms loomed in the gloom, waving their machetes so ferociously. Skirmishes between the insurgents and “Happy Clappies’ were evident. Mushroom stalks were being slashed at a steady rate.
“Lady Bell, what are we going to do?’ implored her zealots, losing their religion. The mob were hell bent on slaying the brotherhood, to end understanding. The great Prophet pondered, then spoke to her faithful fungi. This was her finest hour. Could she rescue her loyal mushrooms and toadstools from doom?
Lady Bell announced, “We shall deafen them into our own true faith Gather ye giant clam shells where they lay, while we may!”
The faithful Happy Clappies hastened to oblige. Led by Lady Bell, they sounded their drums. Meanwhile, the machete-wielding mushrooms kept on slashing noble Happy Clappies. Then:BOOM!
The rebels clutched their eardrums, and collapsed into a mangled heap, deafness. Resistance to Lady Bell was futile. But she forgave them. The thinking prophet spake again.
“Resistance to Lady Bells is useless. Lay down your weapons. We give you weapons of love. Now sound our drums!”
The Happy Clappies banged their drums, and waved their dead seaweed. Bells and smells filled the air.
“Repent all ye rebels. I declare this revolution over, finito!
Be blessed and have a great day, fungi!”
The sun rose and the world turned anyway.
“Don’t tell me what to do…” muttered one little fungus.
The future of Lady Bell and her zealots might happen for no reason…….
Have you ever had a job that was so easy, you were almost embarrassed taking the pay for it?
Yeah, I have.
Just after I finished university, I got a job in North London at an arts venue. It was a part time job, but the money was good, more than I could earn in most full time jobs, and it was only two days a week.
When I went to work there, I found the role was basically being the manager’s assistant. He was an arts producer and just sort of went around meeting semi-famous people, and he took me along to all his meetings. I didn’t really contribute anything to the meetings, he just took me along. I made him laugh. That’s all I can say really. I went everywhere with him, did no work, and got paid for it.
Then, he suddenly got a better job somewhere else, and left. He didn’t take me with him. So now, I was employed as an assistant to someone that wasn’t even there.
I still turned up for work, so I still got paid, but I had literally nothing at all to do. I did try and find stuff to do, I spoke to other staff and asked if they needed anything, but no one did. I had no particular skills they required, so I had nothing to offer. So I sat in the office I shared with my old, now departed boss, and did nothing.
I watched videos on my phone, I had very long toilet breaks and lunch breaks. I even read an entire novel during one shift. The days dragged on so long. But I had bills to pay, so I stayed.
Eventually, people cottoned on that I was doing nothing and it became a bit of a joke. They would say to me that I did nothing all day, which was true. But it was a job I had applied for, interviewed for, and been hired for, and I wasn’t doing anything bad or wrong. It’s just that I had no boss, and no one wanted me. No one took responsibility for me, no one cared.
Six months after I first started there, I was getting ready to go to work, and I realised I couldn’t do it any more. I emailed someone else I knew that worked there, and offered my resignation.
I never got a reply, but no one ever asked me where I had gone. Weird place.
What’s something your husband did to you that you will never forget?
My husband proposed to me on his birthday, mine was two days later, and gave me a beautiful 1 carat diamond engagement ring. Once a year he would get my ring cleaned for me. Two years later On our weekly date night at dinner he told me that I looked sad. I wondered as I didn’t feel sad. Lol he says here’s something to brighten your day and handed me the box with my engagement ring in it. I thought oh how nice as I opened the box expecting my ring I literally lost my breath! He had exchanged my engagement ring for a custom built rose gold ring with a 2 carat diamond surrounded by smaller diamonds around the band. I couldn’t talk, I just burst into tears. Thankfully there weren’t a lot of people in there at the time. He kept the diamond from the engagement ring and we had a ring custom made for him with it as he said he was sentimental about that stone. He doesn’t do a lot of romantic things but he sure does it good when he does! 15 years later we are still in love. I love him dearly as do my grown children who all call him dad.
Wing Dings
Wing Dings are a Texas specialty!
Ingredients
- 1 cup beer
- 1/4 cup unsulphured dark molasses
- 1/4 cup creamy peanut butter
- 1/4 cup Worcestershire sauce
- 1 1/2 tablespoons chili powder
- Juice of 1 medium lime
- 1/2 teaspoon dry mustard
- 1/4 teaspoon aniseed, toasted and ground
- 1/4 teaspoon salt
- 1 1/2 dozen chicken wings
Instructions
- Heat oven to 350 degrees F.
- Grease a large baking pan or dish.
- Combine everything except the wings in a large, heavy pan. Simmer them over medium heat 15 to 20 minutes, until they have reduced to a thick sauce.
- While the sauce simmers, prepare the chicken wings.
- With a butcher knife, remove the wing tips, then cut each wing in half at the joint.
- Add the wings to the sauce, and stir to coat them.
- Ladle the wings and the sauce into the baking dish.
- Bake for 25 minutes, then stir the wings in the sauce.
- Turn the heat up to 425 degrees F and bake an additional 10 minutes, or until the sauce glazes the wings.
- Serve the wings hot with Ranch dressing, if desired.
Would Israelis blame the Uyghurs or the Chinese government had the Chinese government politically handed Xinjiang to Uyghur jihadist such that Xinjiang became like Gaza?
Uyghur jihadist is not the same thing as Gaza resisters:
- Uyghur jihadists are funded by the West, they are a small group and do not represent the common will of the Uyghur people
- The Gaza resisters, who resisted the West and drove out the Israeli aggressors, were not a small group but represented the common will of the people of Gaza and, indeed, of the Palestinian people
What I find truly absurd is the eagerness to condemn the idea of genocide in Xinjiang while turning a blind eye to the very real and ongoing genocide in Palestine. Fact-checkers and so-called truth-verifiers operate with a clear agenda, often driven by Western grants that need justification.
Xinjiang is an incredible destination for anyone who prefers to experience a place firsthand, free from the interpretations of fact-checkers or NGOs who have never set foot here. This province has a remarkable tourism story to tell: in the first nine months of 2024, it welcomed an astounding 250 million visitors!
When the U.S. cuts its first veto on 18 October last year, nearly 3,000 civilians had been killed in Gaza. By the time the us cuts its second veto, 17,000 people had been killed as a result of Israeli bombardment. With each veto, the death toll in Gaza continue to rise with the us exercises veto for the 5th time on April 18th this year. The death toll in Gaza stood at some 34,000. Now that nearly 44,000 people have been killed in Gaza. Yet the United States still did not hesitate to use its veto.
44,000, it is not some cold statistics. It could be a minor, a nursing mother or the breadwinner of a family. The loss of each and one of them means internal pain for the surviving relatives.
People cannot help, but to ask do Palestinian lives mean nothing.
Count the deaths of 44,000 people win even a little bit of sympathy from the United States, how many more people have to die before they wake up from their pretend slumber?
Social Security’s New Rule Has 72 Million Americans Extremely Worried