The day Sully called the office and asked for Dale, Marjorie answered the phone and took the message.

“Oh, dear. Sully, is there anything I can do for you?” she said in a phony, syrupy tone. Sully thought.

“Yes, there is. Won’t you spend the time I’m in the hospital ensuring Dale eats well, please?”

“Well, don’t you think Dale should decide what he eats?” Marjorie said.

“I suppose. I’m in Room 32B. Please let him know I should be here for at least a month. It’s some blood disorder, and the doctors are stumped.”

“That sounds horrible. I’ll send you a care package. Anything special you’d like in it?”

“Yes, I would appreciate a discreetly provided box of condoms, along with any other care packages provided to women who stay in the hospital for extended periods.”

“No problem.”

“Oh, and Marjorie, this is just between us girls, right?” Sully asked.

“Absolutely.” Marjorie smiled as she couldn’t wait to tell Dale.

After his meeting, Dale left for the hospital to be with Sully. He asked Marjorie to take all his messages, call all his afternoon appointments, and explain the situation.

“Okay, I will, but I need to tell you something.” Marjorie even followed him to the elevator, but he was too preoccupied to listen.

“I’ll give you a ring later, toots,” he said as the doors closed.

***

She swooned and returned to her desk, where she had to clear her afternoon schedule and reschedule those appointments for later in the week. Being the CFO’s secretary at KODAK had benefits. She was well-versed in the job and had a deep affection for her boss. After clearing all of her boss’s books for the day and rescheduling, she made some appointments of her own and had a delivery basket with condoms buried in the bottom, out of sight, delivered to the office.

At 5:00, along with the rest of the secretaries, Marjorie rode down in the elevator carrying the basket.

“Another gift from Dale to Sully?” A secretary posed the question.

“Well, it sure ain’t for me.” Marjorie shook her head, and they all laughed. All except Roseanne. She remained quiet. Five got off at the main floor, and the remaining six went to the car park.

Marjorie entered her car, placed the basket on the seat beside her, and attached the card. She didn’t want the other girls to know Sully was hospitalized. In time, they would find out, but not from her.

***

She arrived at the hospital, and Sully was alone and awake.

“Oh, hi, Marjorie. Thanks so much for getting those for me.”

Dale will be enraged by their presence as he will believe that I have a secret admirer I’m having sex with. In today’s world, maintaining honesty is crucial.” She smiled and winked.

“I don’t know Sully. My mother taught me honesty is the best policy.” She smiled at Sully and helped her get her robe around her shoulders.

Just then, Dale walked in. “My two favourite ladies. Both in the same place, what are the chances?”

“Yes, Dale, what are the chances?” Sully snapped. “I told Marjorie that since we have the maid quarters, she could stay with you and care for you while I’m in the hospital.”

“What? Have you lost your mind? That’s nuts!” Dale said. “I am a grown man who can take care of myself.”

“Well, if you’ll excuse me, please, I’d better get going home,” Marjorie announced. She got up to leave and almost made it to the door.

“Where did this lovely basket come from?” Dale asked.

“You mean it didn’t come from you?” Sully said, surprised.

“No, it didn’t,” he looked at Marjorie.

“That’s unfortunate, as it contains all my favourite items, including condoms. Now, who would send such a thing besides you?”

“This is a partner who knows you very well. That’s who.” Dale said.

***

Marjorie slipped out the door and headed for Dale’s house. She would stay in the guest quarters. It was half the driving time for her to get to work.

Dale came home twenty minutes later. He looked relieved and content.

***

“Finally, she’s found someone she loves who loves her. It is a day to celebrate. Let’s go out and dance. Then we shall return home and have glorious sex.”

While Sully was in the hospital, Marjorie and Dale lived like married people. They had no issues or problems. When Dale questioned Sully about her man, she confessed that the whole thing was a sham intended to incite jealousy in Dale. But she had been sleeping with their mailman for the last two years. When Sully exited the hospital, Dale knew it was time to tell her the truth.

Dale sat her down on the couch and told her the truth. She jumped up and moaned and wailed in agony.

“This situation is a manifestation of my deepest fears. You haven’t loved me in years? You allowed me to live with you, knowing I could’ve been with someone else? I hate you,” she stopped to take a breath.

“Dale Musset. I hold a deep-seated hatred towards both you and your whore. Incidentally, where is Marjorie, that two-faced phoney broad? You two are like salt and pepper, so different, but ultimately, go together.” Sully was just getting started.

“Let’s see, maybe you’re more like Catsup and Mustard. I’ve heard that internal organs leak yellow fluid, and the blood resembles catsup. Let’s find out. Shall we?”

The drugs kicked in, and the couple stumbled. The three got into the car, and Sully drove to the cabin. By the time they got there, she had them sedated and unaware of what was happening around them.

Sully started the chainsaw. Many people had seen Marjorie and Dale together, so they thought nothing of seeing them head to the cabin with Marjorie.

The chainsaw started to buzz like a limb was being cut off.

Cannot imagin.

Between 2800 and 2300 years ago, China was somewhat similar to the present-day European Union. There were several major powers and a nominal “common value system” (represented by the Zhou emperor, who in reality had no substantial power).

This situation was somewhat akin to Japan 1500 years later, where there was a nominal supreme leader (the emperor), but actual power was held by various shoguns.

These states were constantly at war with each other, in a very bloody and brutal manner.

Eventually, the Chinese grew weary of the endless warfare, as Confucius said, “There are no just wars in the Spring and Autumn period.”

After 500 years of incessant conflict, Qin Shi Huang finally unified China.

The process was still extremely bloody and brutal.

For instance, the war in which Qin conquered Zhao lasted three years, during which the Qin king had mobilized all males over the age of 15 in the country to support the front lines.

Eventually, they captured 450,000 Zhao soldiers, but by then Qin had no food supplies left and buried all 450,000 prisoners alive.

It was extremely cruel.

（Stills. Bai Qi. The most brutal general in Chinese history.）

To this day, locals still refer to tofu as “Bai Qi’s meat” (Bai Qi was the Qin general who ordered the burial of the 450,000 Zhao soldiers and is one of the four great generals of the Warring States period, implying that when eating tofu, one should bite hard as if biting him).

（The corpse pits are distributed within an area of ​​30 kilometers by 10 kilometers. The scale is so large that it is difficult for archaeologists to fully excavate them.）

However, after all, more than 2000 years have passed.

Today’s Zhao people (from Hebei) hold no malice towards the Qin people (from Shaanxi), at most, they might make a joke about it.

Due to the long passage of time, today’s Zhao people might actually be descendants of the Qin people, and vice versa.

Since then, China transitioned from the feudal era of the Xia, Shang, and Zhou dynasties (very similar to the Western system of monarchs, knights, and fiefdoms) into a unified era, the imperial era. The central government had absolute control over the regions. Although China has fragmented many times since then, with 8 out of the 23 largest civil wars in human history occurring in China, the idea of unification has become deeply ingrained in the people’s minds.

Coupled with the extreme stability of the Chinese language, tempered over 2000 years like forging iron into steel, the country has become highly unlikely to split again. Especially today, with the increasing development of transportation and communication, China has truly coalesced into a single entity. There is no longer any need to worry about division and civil war.

Thus, it’s somewhat difficult to understand Europeans, just as Europeans might find it hard to understand us.

A moment later I peaked my eyes over the blanket. I saw a ghostly figure like that of a woman coming out of the bathroom. She stopped and appeared to be looking around. I screamed and dived back into the blankets, shaking like an earthquake.

A gravelly female voice shouted, “Okay, who the hell woke me up THIS time?”

The voice was followed by footsteps that made my floor creak and my breath come in little gasps. I lay still in the bed, hoping that I looked like a pile of blankets.

“I know you’re there!” said the raspy voice. “Come out of those blankets and explain yourself!”

I lowered the blanket just enough to peek out. I looked toward the bathroom door and saw what appeared to be a tall, gaunt woman. I couldn’t see her face clearly in the dark, but she was wearing some kind of bathrobe, and her hair was done up in big old-fashioned rollers, over which she was wearing a scarf.

“Hi,” I said, my voice shaking with the fear I was feeling.

“I was having a great dream. I was on a raft in the Pacific with Brad Pitt, Benedict Cumberbatch, and Ryan Gosling, and all they were wearing were conch shells. From that, you woke me up!”

I tried to say something, but all that came out was air.

“Come on!” she said. “I don’t have all night!”

“Um … um … um … I … I thought y-you c-ould show me … um … my future h-husband.” My brain was frozen shut and this was the best I could think of. I‘m useless under stress.

She stared at me for about ten seconds, then let out a huge laugh.

“You gotta be kidding!” she said. “You’re old enough to be a great-grandmother! You want to get married NOW?”

I was starting to get over being scared, because I was getting mad.

“H-how do you know how old I am? “ I said. “Y-y-you can’t even see me! And I’ll have you know I can still turn heads when I want to.”

“I’m not surprised! I can see gray hairs and crow’s feet, lady! If you turn heads it’s because they’re all wondering what they’re looking at!” she said. “You got a cigarette?”

“No.  And please don’t smoke in here.”

“A beer?”

“Yeah, there’s some in the fridge.”

She floated into the kitchen, turned on the light, opened and closed the fridge door and came back with a bottle of beer, from which she took a large swig, wiping her mouth on her sleeve. The light from the kitchen illuminated her features and made her look less frightening.

“Hey, aren’t you supposed to be scary or something?” I asked.

“Look,” she said, “I didn’t ask for this rotten job. If I’m not scary enough, they can get someone else to do it. I don’t give a rat’s behind.”

She floated over to the edge of my bed and swatted my feet with her free hand. “Move over!” she said. I moved over a little and she sat down.

She took another swig of beer.  “Look here,” she said. “I’m not The Tooth Fairy or your Fairy Godmother. I’m not supposed to give you things or grant wishes. I’m supposed to scare the stuffing out of you. That’s all. So let’s cut the stupidity, okay? You caught me at a bad time and I’m not prepared to frighten you right now except for that little bit when you first saw me, which wasn’t my best work. But I don’t want to get in trouble with my bosses. So what do you say we call it a night, I go back into the mirror, you go to sleep, and we forget the whole damned thing ever happened? Besides, I want to get my dream back.”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Okay then. Have a good rest of your life, and don’t call me again. Next time I might not be so friendly. Good night.”

“Good night.”

She disappeared back into the bathroom, taking the bottle of beer with her. The next day, I took the mirror off the bathroom wall, smashed it, and tossed it out. I have never replaced it.

This is applicable for people of coloured skin – brown people from the Indian subcontinent and African-origin people. A very big mistake that we made during our US trip was expecting the security check at their airports to be like the ones here in India. Boy, we were so wrong!

The security check is handled by an agency called TSA like we have CISF here in India. TSA is famous for being racist but back then, in the era of limited internet, we had no clue about it. We landed at JFK Airport, New York City and cleared customs without any issue. That means we didn’t bring anything that we weren’t supposed to. From there, we had a domestic flights to Washington DC and our first experience with the TSA was waiting for us.

The TSA had us open each handbag and removed everything, and those didn’t even make sense. We were carrying some dry food items with us, but we weren’t allowed to take them with us. My younger brother was a kid then and he had special baby food packed but even that had to be discarded. They frisked our bags for 10–15 minutes and as a result, we missed our flight to DC. Luckily the airline staff were kind enough to accommodate the four of us on the next flight to DC.

This wasn’t just us. Almost every alternate person of coloured skin was frisked with “extra care” and had their handbags checked by opening the bags. So if you are of black or brown skin, be prepared to spend extra time at the security checks. We received the same treatment in our other domestic flights across the US, but we kept additional time in hand because we knew what to expect.

Kitchen Hints and Tips
Gravy, Sauce and Syrup

• To prepare satiny smooth sauces, including gravies, use a wire whisk. Stir often and don’t forget the corners. Stir vigorously, if necessary, to remove lumps as the sauce or gravy cooks.

Gravy

• To give gravy great color and flavor, add a few teaspoons of soy sauce.
• Freeze leftover gravy in an ice cube tray. Wrap solid frozen gravy cubes in freezer wrap. Then, when you need some gravy, reheat a cube or two.
• Put some flour into a custard cup and place beside meat in the oven. When the meat is done the flour will be nice and brown, ready to make a rich, brown gravy.
• If gravy is burned, add a teaspoon of peanut butter to hide the burnt flavor.
• If it is quite greasy, add a small amount of baking soda.
• Never add cornstarch to hot liquid because it will lump. Dilute cornstarch in twice as much cold liquid and stir until smooth. Then stir the cornstarch mixture into the hot mixture.
• For no-lump gravy, use flour that has been browned. Brown flour by putting a little in a heatproof dish when you’re using the oven and leave it there until the flour has turned a nice brown color.
• When gravy is too salty, put in a few pieces of toasted bread for two or three minutes. The bread will absorb much of the salt.
• Use 2 or 3 tablespoons of coffee to give gravy a rich brown color. The gravy won’t taste like coffee.
• To give gravy a nice color, brown the flour well before adding the liquid. This also helps prevent lumpy gravy.
• To make gravy smooth, keep a jar with a mixture of equal parts of flour and cornstarch. Put 3 or 4 tablespoons of this mixture in another jar and add some water. Shake, and in a few minutes you will have a smooth paste for gravy.

Sauce

• For instant white sauce, blend a cup each of softened butter and flour and spread it evenly in an ice cub tray. Freeze, then cut into 16 cubes and store in a plastic bag until you want to make a sauce. Then heat 1 cup milk and 1 cube, stirring until the cube is melted and the liquid is warm.
• A teaspoon or so of vanilla extract in Italian tomato sauces helps cut the acidity of the tomatoes!
• To keep cream sauces from separating, shake the pan in a back and forth motion, and add just a tiny bit more cream at the very end. This will keep your sauce from having an oily texture. This method works better than the continual motion of a wire whisk.
• To prepare white sauce at the right consistency, remember 1-2-3. For each cup of milk use 1 tablespoon of flour for a thin sauce, 2 tablespoons of flour for a medium sauce and 3 tablespoons of flour for a thick sauce. Use 2 tablespoons of butter or margarine for any thickness.
• When a sauce curdles, remove pan from heat and plunge into a pan of cold water to stop the cooking process. Beat sauce vigorously, or pour it into a blender and blend until smooth.

Syrup

• To serve piping hot pancake syrup, remove the syrup cap, place the bottle in a microwave, and heat on HIGH for 1 1/2 to 2 minutes.
• Make fruit syrup by adding 2 cups sugar to 1/2 cup of any kind fruit juice and cooking until it boils.
• If syrup crystallizes, set the bottle in a pan of cold water. Heat gently and crystals will disappear.
• A pinch of salt added to boiling syrup prevents crystallization.