I have a “thing” about bullets.
My father kept a box, a metal tackle box with a handle, full of all kinds of bullets. It was filled with all kinds of bullets. Indeed, he had bullets that were over a century old.
Big bullets. Little bullets. Massive thick bullets. Weird shaped bullets.
Lots and lots of bullets.
Many of the bullets were all showing their age. With the lead showing signs of calcification, and tarnish on the brass shell casings.

But it was fascinating to look at and go though.

As much as I loved those things, I could never see them. My father kept them hidden and locked away from me.
Now, my father was a “blue pill” pacifist. And he didn’t want me to fight, to stand up for myself; and to own a gun.
Oh, for certain. He was ok with me learning self defense, but only if I didn’t hit or hurt anyone. When he saw me playing football, he would run out and snatch me away and off the field from the rest of the kids.
…
Pacifist with me.
Different with my siblings.
One day, he was showing the bullets to my brother Daniel and then gave the entire box to him. He even gave him a Ruger 22 caliber pistol that he had. As well as a old world war II German rifle that he inherited from his father.

But I got nothing.
Instead, I was warned about the dangers of firearms.
That, if confronted; run away. Never stay to fight. Be a rabbit, and be safe.
I never could understand why he treated my brothers and sisters one way, and myself, was treated quite differently.
I do believe that it might be a personality or horoscope mismatch. Or perhaps karma. Or maybe the shadows of prior reincarnated lives. I really don’t know.
Telling me to be a timid rabbit, and then yelling at me when I followed his orders, and praising my brother and sisters for being aggressive and causing all sorts of mayhem.
This is something, I believe, that we all know and understand in one way or the other. It’s just that we just don’t want to face the ugly truths that it represents.
Relations between reincarnation experiences, karmic entanglements, and injection magnitude when one enters our reality.
Perhaps that is why we have many of the experiences that we have.
Today…
Albondigas con Chipotle
(Meatballs in Chipotle Sauce)

Ingredients
- 6 fresh, ripe tomatoes, halved
- 1 pound ground beef
- 4 tablespoons bread crumbs
- 2 cloves garlic, chopped
- 2 whole cloves garlic
- 3 eggs
- 2 1/4 teaspoons ground cumin
- Sea salt, to taste
- Freshly-ground black pepper, to taste
- 4 chipotle chiles in adobo
- 1 cup chicken stock
- 1 tablespoon dried Mexican oregano
- 2 tablespoons vegetable oil
Instructions
- To roast tomatoes, grill or broil them as close to heat as possible, turning as needed, until skin is blackened in spots, about 3 minutes on each side. Cool.
- When cool enough to handle, remove skins. Reserve.
- Combine beef, bread crumbs, chopped garlic, eggs, 2 teaspoons cumin, salt and pepper. Cover mixture, and let chill in refrigerator.
- In a blender or food processor, blend reserved tomatoes with chipotles, stock, whole garlic cloves, remaining cumin and oregano.
- Heat the oil in a heavy skillet. Add the tomato sauce, season to taste with additional salt and pepper, and bring mixture to a boil.
- Meanwhile, make uniform medium-size meatballs from meat mixture. Add meatballs to simmering sauce and cook about 25 minutes.
- Serve as an entree over rice, or alone as an hors d’oeuvre.
on a preparty, my friends mocked him for his appearance, i couldn’t help but laugh but then…
https://youtu.be/wHYbY48CQL0
Shorpy









































The Biosphere Project
Submitted into Contest #207 in response to: A journalist has been granted permission to visit the premises of a lab carrying out top-secret work. They could never have anticipated what they’d find…… view prompt
Jillian Puckett
Sarah’s eyes widened in disbelief. “What is…? How is this possible?”
Dr. Lawson beamed with pride. “Welcome to our Biosphere Project, Sarah. We have developed a revolutionary system that replicates entire ecosystems within a controlled environment. It’s a breakthrough in sustainable agriculture and biodiversity conservation.”
Sarah’s mind raced, realizing the potential impact of this discovery. “This could change everything! The possibilities for food production and environmental conservation are immense. Why hasn’t this been made public?”
Dr. Lawson’s expression turned somber. “The project was classified due to the potential misuse of such technology. We wanted to ensure its safety and ethical use before revealing it to the world.”
Sarah’s journalistic instincts kicked in. “But what kind of misuse are we talking about? Are there any risks associated with this project?”
Dr. Lawson sighed, her eyes reflecting a mixture of concern and responsibility. “There are several potential misuses we have considered. One of the key concerns is the possibility of using the Biosphere Project to create controlled environments for the development of dangerous biological weapons. The ability to sustain life within enclosed ecosystems could be exploited to cultivate and engineer deadly pathogens, posing a grave threat to global security.”
Sarah’s mind raced, realizing the magnitude of the situation. “So, the secrecy surrounding the project was to prevent such misuse?”
“Yes,” Dr. Lawson confirmed. “In the wrong hands, the Biosphere Project could unleash unimaginable devastation. We had to ensure that the technology was fully developed, with safeguards in place, before considering its release to the public.”
Sarah’s journalistic instincts kicked into high gear. “Dr. Lawson, the world deserves to know about this project. Its potential benefits are immense, but the risks must be brought to light as well. We need transparency to prevent any clandestine misuse.”
Dr. Lawson nodded in agreement. “You’re right, Sarah. We have been deliberating on the best way to strike a balance between sharing the breakthrough and addressing the risks. We understand the importance of public awareness, but we must also proceed with caution.”
Sarah contemplated the situation, realizing the weight of responsibility that rested on her shoulders. She knew she had the power to expose the truth, but she also had to be mindful of the potential consequences. After a moment of reflection, she made up her mind.
“Dr. Lawson, I would like to collaborate with you on this. Let us work together to devise a plan that ensures the responsible disclosure of the Biosphere Project. We must inform the public about its potential benefits and the risks it carries. By doing so, we can foster a global dialogue and ensure that this groundbreaking technology is used for the betterment of humanity.”
Dr. Lawson’s eyes shimmered with gratitude. “Thank you, Sarah. Your willingness to approach this with caution and responsibility reassures me. Together, we can make a difference and shape the future of this remarkable project.”
Over the following weeks, Sarah and Dr. Lawson collaborated closely, carefully crafting a strategy to share the story of the Biosphere Project with the world. They engaged in extensive discussions, consulting with experts in various fields, assessing the potential risks and benefits, and establishing frameworks to ensure the technology’s responsible use.
Finally, the day arrived when Sarah’s exposé on the Biosphere Project was published. The article detailed the groundbreaking technology, its potential benefits for sustainable agriculture and biodiversity, and the risks associated with its misuse. It ignited a global conversation, prompting governments, scientific communities, and environmental organizations to come together and establish regulations and oversight mechanisms to safeguard the technology’s ethical use.
The public’s response was overwhelming. Many were captivated by the possibilities the Biosphere Project presented, while others expressed concerns about its potential risks. Yet, the conversation fostered by Sarah’s article allowed for a balanced and informed dialogue, leading to a collective commitment to responsible innovation.
As time progressed, the Biosphere Project was gradually integrated into society, with stringent regulations in place to ensure its ethical use. It revolutionized agriculture, enabling sustainable food production in regions affected by droughts, extreme temperatures, or limited arable land. It played a crucial role in conserving endangered ecosystems, allowing scientists to study and protect fragile species within controlled environments.
Sarah’s collaboration with Dr. Lawson continued beyond the publication of her groundbreaking article. The two worked tirelessly to address the concerns raised by the public and to refine the regulations governing the Biosphere Project. They became advocates for responsible innovation, traveling the world to speak at conferences and engaging with policymakers, scientists, and environmentalists.
Their efforts led to the establishment of an international committee dedicated to monitoring and regulating the use of biosphere technology. This committee consisted of experts from various fields who worked together to ensure that the Biosphere Project was used solely for peaceful and beneficial purposes.
Under the committee’s oversight, the Biosphere Project flourished. It continued to enhance food production and conservation efforts, transforming arid regions into thriving agricultural centers and contributing to the preservation of endangered species and habitats.
Sarah and Dr. Lawson’s collaboration also sparked interest from other scientific communities and research institutions. They began to share their knowledge and expertise, collaborating on similar projects around the world. This global collaboration further advanced the field of biosphere technology, expanding its applications and ensuring that the benefits reached far beyond the walls of the original research facility.
As the years passed, the Biosphere Project became a symbol of responsible innovation and the power of transparency. The public’s trust in the technology grew, and the regulations and oversight mechanisms put in place served as a model for other groundbreaking scientific advancements.
Sarah and Dr. Lawson’s efforts were recognized with numerous awards and accolades. They were hailed as pioneers who had not only uncovered a remarkable breakthrough but had also navigated the delicate balance between progress and caution.
Sarah’s experience with the Biosphere Project had a profound impact on her as a journalist. She realized the importance of responsible reporting, understanding the potential consequences of revealing groundbreaking technologies without careful consideration of their risks. She became an advocate for responsible journalism and used her platform to raise awareness about the ethical implications of scientific advancements.
Dr. Lawson’s dedication to the Biosphere Project never wavered. She continued to lead research and development efforts, ensuring that the technology evolved responsibly and with the utmost regard for the environment and humanity’s well-being.
The legacy of the Biosphere Project lived on, not only in its contributions to sustainable agriculture and conservation but also in the lessons it taught about responsible innovation. It served as a reminder that groundbreaking discoveries could shape the world positively, but their potential risks must be addressed proactively.
Sarah Mitchell and Dr. Rachel Lawson’s collaboration became a symbol of the power of partnership and the importance of ethical decision-making in the face of groundbreaking scientific advancements. Their story inspired countless others to approach innovation with responsibility, shaping a future where progress and humanity’s welfare walked hand in hand.
it sings to itself
Submitted into Contest #207 in response to: A journalist has been granted permission to visit the premises of a lab carrying out top-secret work. They could never have anticipated what they’d find…… view prompt
Masha Kurbatova
“I mean it’s a speakeasy. They’re like supposed to be hidden,” replies another.
Chicago is smeared with rain, and street lights blot yellow into the night. When lightning crackles, the girls scream. It’s kind of embarrassing.
They finally figure it out: that brick-red piss-stinking door is indeed the entry. Their hair smells wet, their mascara leaks, their shirts clump as they shiver into a dark hallway.
Further down is the bar. It’s dim. The bartenders wear vests. The walls are wine-red and stacked with framed photos of naked 1920s girls. Millennial hipsters eat that shit up. Google users give this place 4.8 stars.
A wooden stage rises a foot high. Tonight, Timmy is playing. The girls huddle around a table spitting distance from the stage. Timmy polishes his trumpet.
The jazz band swings under gold dusty light. The girls sip watered-down drinks. Bianca taps to the beat on her sweating glass. She’s bored, and feels bad about that.
Timmy’s a cool guy. His short hair is cropped close to his skull. Beige trousers sit above his bony ankles. He is long, loose, jaunty. His fingers bounce like fleas over trumpet keys. Bianca likes the music, though it’s the same old covers, “Autumn Leaves” and all that jazz.
“I like the vibe here,” one girl says.
“We should come back next weekend,” coos another.
They do. For seven straight weeks, they return to the speakeasy. Sometimes, it’s just them. Timmy nods their way from the stage, in recognition. Bianca notices he looks at her longer. He smiles, too. She fills delusional diary pages about that. She spins conspiracies about what it could mean. (Reader, I’ll be honest — he just does that. No reason for it).
Class is alright. The journalism part is. The science labs, the mandatory hands-on component, Bianca stumbles through. I think she’d be quite good — steady hands, a head fit for numbers — but she doesn’t try.
The hunger grows. Bianca can’t ignore it. She wants more. When she’s offered a two-week summer stint reporting on research from Venus, she takes it.
The girls go to the speakeasy the night before she leaves. Bianca leans on the bar with both elbows, begs the bartender to come hither with her eyes, but he’s milling about in the far other corner. Bianca just wants another drink, please, and her friend wants another seltzer also.
The night’s show is done. Timme leans on the bar too. The show’s done. He’s parched.
Inches between them feel electric, but Bianca’s sure only she feels it. Timmy is a trumpet player with a few thousand followers, hardly a celebrity, but still, she feels the shyness of being so close to a star. He smiles, a sweaty nod of recognition.
She must say something. “I loved your show.”
“Thank you. What’s your name?”
“Bianca.”
Timmy raises an open palm to the bartender, who floats over immediately.
“Bianca. I’ve seen you at our past couple shows.”
“Yeah. I’m gonna miss the next couple. I’m going to Venus for a few weeks. I’m doing some reporting for my capstone project.”
“You know they call Venus the planet of love?”
A bit corny, Bianca thinks, but the guy’s got a brand to maintain. The bartender sets an amber glass before him. Timmy wipes his middle finger around and around the rim. He picked that up from film-noirs.
“Well, it’s a shame you won’t be here,” he continues. “We’ll miss you at our shows. Tell me all about Venus when you get back.”
“Um yeah. Sure.”
Timmy smiles so warmly. He follows Bianca back on instagram. He says such niceties that border on flirtations and maybe he is serious. She does have a crush on him, the way we all do on talented people we see regularly and from afar. But what’s the point? She’s going to space.
***
Bianca’s parents are of the Earth-bound generation. Her mother had cried into the phone when Bianca first said she was going to Venus.
“Imagine how happy your grandfather will be!” Mother said so sappily.
Grandpa Steve, a former engineer for an oil company, had spent a lifetime collecting pictures and films and tidbits of quotes and facts and snippets of interviews about rockets. Space travel came too late: by the time it was easy, he was too feeble.
Bianca doesn’t think about him. She feels ungrateful. People break through Earth’s atmosphere all the time nowadays — six of her friends went to space for undergrad study-abroads — and also, her first days on Venus suck. Constant sunlight and a slight change in gravity nauseates the mammal within her. She’s in bed, blinds drawn, choking down vomit.
The atmosphere of Venus is damp, rich-scented like mildew. You can breathe there without equipment. Doesn’t mean you should. The air is peppered with spores; they lodge in lungs and spew poison. Bianca doesn’t know. No one on her team does. Four people — her, the two PhD candidates, the senior researcher — spend their time outside unmasked.
Training begins on Tuesday. Does it make sense to measure Venus’ fast orbit and slow rotation in Earth’s days? I don’t know. In this program, they do. All four team members must report to the main cabin for safety procedures, research protocols. There’s five cabins altogether, used by the rotating groups of students, researchers, and occasional tourists that cycle through the planet each month. The cabins are built with aluminum. Four are for housing, and the main, larger one’s for gatherings, and doubles as the lab. The cabins are but a few feet from each other. Bianca can’t make it that far. She still can’t stand without throwing up.
The PhD candidates, Viv and Tom, are tall, with dry muscles like beef jerky. Their brains are scalpels, slicing through the confusion of flesh and sensation, distilling life into spreadsheet data points. They’re young, but older than Bianca. Perhaps they don’t take her seriously because she’s a baby. Perhaps it’s because she’s only the journalist, tasked with the simplest lab stuff, there mostly to — write? Maybe? Either way, no one cares when she’s not at training.
When her space sickness ceases, it’s day four of fourteen. Time for the team’s first expedition. Viv and Tom wear hiking boots and cargo shorts. They’re joined by the senior researcher, a 4 foot something woman with a face like a walnut and a mind like a nutcracker. Her silver hair is in two braided ropes down to her stomach. The trio stands beside the main cabin, discussing something serious. When Bianca shows up, they fall silent. When they take off, on foot, they let her carry the backpack. Inside are vials, machines, measurement tools. Bianca’s not really sure what else.
Much of Venus is green and fuzzy. There’s acres of forests of fungi. The growths rise as high as Earth’s trees, and are shaped like its stalagmites, green rounded pillars soft and moist to touch. The ground is green too, and Viv and Tom’s boots leave deep prints, like walking on wet sand.
The farther they go, the higher the growth. The sun is soon blotted out by a fungal canopy. They’re in the cool heart of an undisturbed forest.
Out come the steel needles, the vials, the long-wired gauges and gadgets, snatched out of the backpack and pierced into the malleable trunks of the largest fungi. Bianca is glad to stop walking. Those three hike so fast.
She watches them work. She tries to take note of procedures. She’d taken a course in astromycology just last semester, but passed only because she sucked up so much to that professor. She has no idea what Viv and Tom and the researcher are actually doing.
They’ve split apart, Viv descending even deeper, hopping over the protruding dark green mycelia. The researcher is prodding a trunk, her hands peeling away fuzzy, as if she touched mold. Bianca stays behind, near Tom. He’s pretty cute. Bespectacled, with a stubbled chin, because geniuses in space have no time to shave. His clothes are kind of crumpled. His young face is already lined; so much frowning from serious contemplation of serious things. He’s like the math tutor you have a crush on.
Bianca considers starting conversation. But he’s deep in a squat, elbows between knees, bending over a device with a glowing screen, writing down numbers in a notebook. She won’t disturb him. She contemplates the scenery instead. She’ll remember all this for her report, the sensory stuff. She’ll catch up on and fill in the science stuff later.
Gold-amber sunlight streams through in strips, highlighting the spores rising like flecks of dust. How similar this dim light is to that of the speakeasy. She breathes deep, wanting to remember the scent. Millions of the spores that will eventually kill her settle inside her with each inhale.
Now, reader, you surely dream of faraway places. Beaches with white sizzling sands crawling with crabs; sun-bleached ruins of older, wiser civilizations; outer space; all-included B&B; arctic cruise liners; the cool arms of a cool girl who really gets you for you. But it’s you that’s there. With all your gross human petty aches and desires, and your small stupid clouded mind stuffed with stereotypes and preconceived notions. Places don’t really change you. Isn’t that sad?
Bianca feels bad, but she’s bored. Tom’s still doing something. She sits down. She yawns. She hasn’t been sleeping well. She thinks about the bed in the cabin, a creaky and flimsy construction she can’t wait to return to. She thinks about her bed at home. Maybe when she returns, she’ll splurge on one of those mattresses they advertise all the time with the cooling foam and the sleep number. It’s premature to think about Timmy in that bed with her, right? Still, she lingers deliciously on that daydream.
It’s only when they return to the lab that she realizes: sitting down stained her butt green. Viv points it out, gently. They laugh.
Viv: “It’s ok! I sat down on my nephew’s chocolate Easter bunny once. It melted all over my jeans. When I got up, he called me poopy pants!”
They laugh more. As Viv removes filled vials and scrawled-over notebooks from the backpack, and Bianca pretends to help, they assume the easy rhythms of girl-conversation.
Tom comes, holding a test tube rack. Seriousness carves into his face. The girls stop laughing.
“Do you know how to prepare microscope slides?” he asks Bianca.
“Um.”
“I’ll show her,” Viv offers.
The lab is cold, bright, gleaming with glass and fluorescence. Viv flits like a bird between stations, grabbing vials and pipettes. She shows Bianca the slides, the steps. Bianca copies like a clever little monkey. This isn’t even hard. She’ll do all the slides, easy.
Viv trusts her pupil enough, and disappears to her bench. Tom clicks away at his own work. Bianca is concentrating. The slides soon hold small samples of fungus, green and translucent commas atop rectangles of glass.
She’s a real scientist, she thinks. This is what being a kid with chemistry set was like, pure focus, exploration, the excitement of near-discovery like a sneeze begging to be expelled.
“Hey, Tom,” Viv calls out. “You should tell Bianca about the time you ate that poisonous fungus.”
“Shuuuuuut the fuuuuuuuck uuuup,” he yells from his corner. He cracks his first white-teeth smile of the trip.
“Mr. Mycology Expert here,” Viv tells Bianca, meeting her eyes over microscopes, “Was sooo sure he knew what edible mushrooms looked like, and we’re on this research trip all over Europe, right, collecting spore prints, and we find one he says he can eat, but I think is poisonous, but he eats it anyway, and we spend the rest of that trip in the hospital while he hangs on to life by a thread.”
“That’s so scary,” says Bianca. To Tom: “Are you better now at figuring out which fungi are toxic?”
Tom rolls his eyes. “Uh, yeah.”
The flow is now three-way. The trio is chatting, passing the ball of conversation quite easily. A window in the lab shows Venus outside, green and swirling, a promise offered and answered. Bianca is here with her gorgeous scientist friends. The world around her is weird and wild. This is what she sought.
Bianca tells them about Timmy. She doesn’t realize how big her movements get. Arms sweeping, eyes wide with her story. A hand flying too fast: contact with the box of slides. They crash, off the lab bench, and spill. The slides splinter.
Bianca: “Oh, fuck. I’m so sorry. I’ll clean it up.”
Bianca, all panicky, seeks the broom. Her anxious eyes pass by it six times before she spots it in the supply closet. Hot guilt bites her cheeks.
She returns, broom in hand. Tom and Viv are bent over the shards. They giggle. Bianca’s soul slides into her stomach, a high school feeling — they’re laughing at her. She comes closer, but they don’t stop, or look at her.
Reader, you’ve seen lovers. They pull on each other like the taffy machine, stretching a great big confectionery rope over and over and back together. Tom and Viv are doing that thing that neither you nor Bianca can manage: hunger so deep for another person that you ask to be fed by them again and again. Lovers always find something to say, tease about, like puppies biting each other to make the other chase. Here too, on the planet of love, they manage. On Venus as it is on Earth.
***
Two weeks are up. The team is going home, back on the rocket. Bianca is held inside it by x-crossing seatbelts. She’s sat by the porthole. A deep dark lonely cosmos stares at her. She stares back with glazed eyes. Her mind is elsewhere. She imagines talking to Timmy. She composes her monologue for him, not her friends, her parents, or her rocket-yearning grandfather.
Timmy, you know how they used to say Venus was unfit for life? I can’t believe how wrong people were, even just a few decades ago. I mean, I suppose we couldn’t have known for certain. No one had ever been here before. But Venus is more lush than any sliver of jungle we’ve remaining on Earth, but with fungus, not trees. I quite like the fungus. I think you would, too. It loves music, just like you. If you lean in close enough to the roots — sorry, the mycelium — you hear this humming noise. It’s singing to itself, I think. I wish you’d been here with me. You would’ve loved it.
How Bianca is so confident that a man she’s spoken to once would love the peculiar atmosphere of Venus, I’m really not sure.
Oh, right — reader, you’re probably worried about the poisonous spores. They’ve lodged in the crew’s lungs. The moisture of the tissue draws forth mycelia, which soon will sprout into thick fungus that chokes living organs.
Fortunately, “soon” is relative. For mushrooms that live millions of year, a human life span isn’t long. It’s 60 years before the fungus sprouts and is toxic. Viv and Tom and Bianca and the senior researcher die from it, but they would’ve been dead by then anyway.
Maybe you wonder, did Timmy and Bianca get together? I don’t know. You tell me. It doesn’t really matter.
Arizona Carnitas with Green Chiles
Spice up meal times with this traditional and popular Southwestern dish. Shoulder meat is best cooked for longer period of time to make tender. Set the table so that everyone can create their own torilla-filled meal.

Yield: 8 to 10 servings
Ingredients
- 1 (2 1/2 pound) boneless pork shoulder, cut into bite size pieces*
- 3 tablespoons olive oil
- 1/2 teaspoon salt
- 1/8 teaspoon ground black pepper
- 1 large yellow onion, cut into thin slivers
- 1 (4 ounce) can diced green chiles, undrained
- 2 cloves garlic, minced
- 1/2 cup chicken broth
- Flour tortillas or corn tortillas
- Shredded Cheddar cheese
- Chopped tomato
- Sour cream
Instructions
- Heat oven to 350 degrees F.
- Heat 2 tablespoons of the oil in ovenproof heavy large covered pot over high heat.
- Add half of the pork cubes; sprinkle with half of the salt and half of the black pepper. Cook pork until starting to brown, stirring often.
- Remove pork. Repeat with remaining pork cubes, salt and black pepper, adding more oil if necessary.
- Drain drippings from pot.
- Heat remaining 1 tablespoon oil in the same pot over medium heat.
- Cook onion in hot oil until tender.
- Stir in undrained chiles and garlic; cook for 2 minutes.
- Return pork to pot.
- Add chicken broth. Cover and bake for 1 hour.
- Serve pork in tortillas topped with Cheddar cheese, tomato and sour cream if desired.
Notes
* This recipe is perfect for pork shoulder, but any economical cut will work well.
My paternal grandmother treated my father, her second son, so differently brutally and he never knew why.
Oops, I accidentally pressed enter and it cancels the input after a few seconds when I try to edit it! Sorry about that!
We’ll never know for sure, as she’s long since passed, but it’s likely he was a bastard which she conceived during a trip back to Ireland while she had some trouble with her marriage.
He’s the only one out of six children who doesn’t have his “father’s” brown eyes but his mother’s blue ones instead. While that’s not proof, it just, probability-wise, makes you think.
I could relay so many truly awful stories about “Our Nan’s” treatment, well torture to be honest, of him. My mother thought it was just exaggerated but was shocked when she found out from relatives that it was all true.
“Nan” was a devout Catholic, and was instrumental in me growing to believe that religion was all bollocks!
I’m not questioning your parentage, you just made me think of how messed up the entanglements of your average working-class family are here. I’ve not dared to talk to my father about our belief his dad wasn’t his dad. I’m not willing to die on that hill.
So I’m probably half Irish, rather than a quarter. Meaningless, TBH, as consciousnesses don’t have a race, religion, gender or nationality. Though I can see many gain entanglements relating to such things and come back to fix (or make worse) those entanglements.
What a clever hell-hole those OE scientists created when designing this place. I understand that eventually this planet will be a kind of nature reserve once we’ve sorted out the consciousnesses here. Now that we’re well past the possibility of failure, and have moved into the reconstruction era, it’s just a matter of time until the crazy amount of fauna and flora here really flourish without us.
Please excuse my pointless rambling. I get like that on the days I visit my mother!
personally, I have come to note that I don’t quite form bonds or entanglements with people, I don’t love anyone, not my family, not my “friends” nobody. But I guess you have to be like this for you have the best shot of getting outer this fucking place.
I try and keep it simple, when talking with people I try and make the conversation quite general, I try and deflect any questions that they ask me, create no attachments.
The general population really like to talk about themselves, even if you tell them something about your situation, they just make it about them somehow this I have come to notice.
The downside is the loneliness. The weight of loneliness is profound, often stretching beyond what words can truly capture.
The redundancy of the routines of the day, the redundancy of the weeks. Change happens quite slowly. Though it is there. The long, lonely road.
Nowadays I can see the non-physical wire mesh when am awake. Part of the process, I guess. Came across a guy who does witchcraft, tried to throw something at a man but I guess it unlocked some shit. Bittersweet.
Time.
This reminds me that it’s not so bad, not so bad.
Man, heads up!
Stop contemplating loneliness and negativity and behold the mysteries of the multiverse, you have all the time.
We are now here for some reasons.