I wrote the following description of having just witnessed an execution while in the passenger seat of a car driving away from the prison. I wanted it to be as accurate and detailed as possible…

I came to Oklahoma to witness a killing, a homicide in fact.

At a microphone Debbie Huggins fights tears and with a strong southern drawl says slowly, emphatically: “What we did to him today was much kinder than what he did to my dad.”

“Him” refers to Michael Selsor and “what” to the murder of Clayton Chandler, a clerk shot six times during a gas station robbery in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Selsor pulled the trigger even after Chandler had complied and volunteered the loot.

“In 1975 I never would have thought that it would take 37 years for justice,” Huggins says.

Today’s justice was delivered about half an hour before Huggins approached the microphone; it is why I am here.

There are few acts graver than when a government takes the life of one of its own citizens. Executions often get a lot of coverage in the US, when there is something controversial about the case or enough people believe the condemned might be innocent. These scenarios attract media attention and fuel vigils. This was not the case with Michael Selsor. Everyone agreed that he did it, including him. The reporters who cover Selsor’s execution will focus on Huggins and her family. Perhaps you cannot blame them. The only interview Selsor ever granted was to me.

Even though executions are conducted on behalf of the citizens of the state, very few are allowed to witness it: families of the condemned and their victims, lawyers, law enforcement, and journalists. This is why I felt a responsibility to witness Selsor’s end and then to report it as dispassionately and honestly as I could. The following attempts such an account.

About an hour before Huggins gives her statement, I am led from a makeshift media center to the notorious H Unit, home of Oklahoma’s death row. A pat down ensures our escorts that I carry no possessions other than the clothes on my back. They give me paper and a pen so I can take notes. I am joined by five other reporters. We maneuver through a set of gates that open to a large passageway. The walls and floor are made of smooth concrete. The passage feels stark, modern, like a secret missile silo – and incongruous with this century-old prison famous for inmate rodeos and executions.

Eventually we turn through a large yellow door into the death chamber’s viewing room. I have been here before, but then the space was empty and part of the tour – now it is ready for business.

A handful of prison officials and guards are waiting for us in the viewing room, a narrow rectangle about four times as long as it is wide. A long series of windows to my right are covered by drawn blinds. Two rows of 12 brown metal folding chairs – the kind dragged out of a storage closet at a school picnic – are lined up. I am the first reporter in the room and told to go to the end of the second row and take a seat.

As I sidestep down the row I notice for the first time another set of windows on the left side of the room. The tinted panes conceal the identity of those on the other side. I suppose the setup is not unlike a wedding with two families to attend to and keep separated. The original victim, Clayton Chandler, is represented by an unknown number of family members behind the dark glass. It is hot in the room – at least 90 degrees and rising as people file in. Movement behind the opaque windows catches the light and my eye; at least two people are fanning themselves with white paper. Chandler’s family members must already be in place, watching us nervously find our seats.

Three lawyers in dark suits representing Selsor enter next and sit directly in front of me. Selsor’s family follows. His son wears a grey t-shirt, shorts and a military-short haircut. Tattoos cover his neck and arms. Selsor’s sister, with a shock of blonde hair, looks tired. Her bright blue, short-sleeved shirt contrasts a suntanned face, wizened beyond her years. A box of cheap tissues rests in the son’s chair, courtesy of the state. Once Selsor’s family is settled, a small contingent of law enforcement file in, including Jeff Jordan, who investigated Chandler’s murder as a rookie homicide detective. He is now Tulsa’s police chief.

A cacophony of banging echoes throughout the prison. We have been warned not to be alarmed by the noise – it is how inmates say their goodbyes.

Selsor is respected on death row. He is seemingly regarded as a serious and contemplative individual who became an asset of sorts to prison inmates and staff alike – though officials always caveat the sentiment with a reminder that his crime was inexcusably wrong and such actions must bear consequences. As the run guy, a job given to the toughest of the condemned, Selsor made deliveries to other cells and kept fellow inmates in line. When school children visited the prison, Selsor played a regular part in the tour. From behind bars he shared his life lesson about the consequences of one’s actions with the children.

The appointed time nears and the banging becomes rhythmic – quick at first, but slowing now to a steady, dirge-like pace.

The director of Oklahoma prisons, Justin Jones, who has twice appeared on Fault Lines, enters. The yellow door shuts behind him. Rather than taking a chair, he is handed a phone, a hotline to the governor’s office. Though not far from me, I cannot hear what he is saying. Jones hangs the receiver up, picks up a different phone connected with the execution chamber and tells them to proceed.

It is exactly 6 pm local time. The curtain goes up as guards raise the mini-blinds inside the execution chamber. Selsor’s family in front of me gasps at the sight of him. He is strapped to the bed with his arms padlocked down and covered in a sheet up to his chest. Selsor’s pinched eyebrows convey a look between fear and guilt.

The son waves to his father for what turns out to be the last time and reaches for the tissues. The son and sister begin to cry. Selsor lifts his head as much as he can and turns toward his small audience: “My son, my sister, I love you ’til I see you again next time. Be good. Eric, [Selsor’s lawyer] keep up the struggle.” His eyes scan the viewing room: “I’ll be waiting at the gates of heaven for you. I hope the rest of you make it there as well.”

He looks to the prison official standing over him and says: “I’m ready.” Relaxing back to the bed, he turns his head to the side and focuses on his son.

Though we cannot see it, we all know what is happening now. Two intravenous lines run from Selsor’s arms to two holes in a wall about three feet behind his head. From a hidden room, three executioners each press a plunger sending lethal doses into his veins: one with pentobarbital, another with vecuronium bromide and a third with potassium chloride. The executioners are each paid $300 in cash, so no paper trail leads to their identity.

With a tilted head still looking at his son, Selsor’s gaze begins to fade, his eyelids half closing. A final breath exits his body with a visible puff from his lips. His body stills, eyes half open and locked on his son. It is roughly 6:03 pm.

The next three minutes pass painfully slowly. No one moves in the death chamber or viewing room. I hear barely perceptible sounds of crying from the row in front of me. A medical examiner in the chamber approaches the bed, checks for signs of life and pronounces Michael Selsor dead at 6:06 pm.

We solemnly return to the media center. Huggins holds a press conference and tells us that the execution did not bring closure or the kind of justice it seems she was seeking, but it is easy to see her relief from the death of Selsor. The ultimate boogeyman in her mind was finally gone.

In time a death certificate will be issued from the state of Oklahoma. For cause of death, it will say Selsor died from a homicide. Though it took nearly four decades to find its target, it is clear now that the trigger Selsor pulled that fateful day in 1975 ended not only Chandler’s life, but Selsor’s own as well.

What happened?

When I was 19 years old, my 38 year old boss held me against my will for 3 weeks and raped me multiple times. I ended up pregnant and have been raising my son for the last 8 years.

How did he keep you against your will?

He told me we were working in a different city for a few days. He proceeded to take me to his elderly mother’s house. She had some sort of dementia so she didn’t understand what was going on. He took my keys and my phone and if someone called me, he would send a text pretending to be me. He kept me in a constant state of buzzed by only allowing me to have drinks with alcohol.

At night I was to take a sleeping pill with alcohol so I wouldn’t wake up and sneak away. I tried to fight him, but he had 100 pounds on me and I didn’t stand a chance against him.

Did he go to jail?

No. The cops failed to properly investigate claiming the lack of physical evidence made this a he-said/she-said case so it basically wasn’t worth their time.

Is there no way to hold this guy accountable?

The statute of limitations was up 2 years ago. Because they failed to properly investigate and didn’t place charges against him, there is nothing to be done to hold him accountable.

Did the police/authorities give you a reason they wouldn’t investigate someone’s three week abduction?

Lack of physical evidence. And because I went willingly (I thought we were going for work) it wasn’t considered an “abduction” because I was an adult.

Was abortion ever something that crossed your mind?

There was a moment where I seriously considered it. But due to my faith, I just couldn’t do it. However, I would NEVER agree to FORCING a woman into carrying their rapist’s child. I had my faith to hold onto, but even then, it was the hardest thing I have ever had to do.

I also want to add that I had considered adoption, but when I had my first ultrasound and saw the heartbeat, I felt this overwhelming love and I knew we would survive this together.

Does your son look like him?/Do you love your son?

Luckily my son looks like a mini male version of me, so I never feel like I’m looking at my rapist. And I absolutely love my son with all my heart. This wasn’t his fault anymore than it was mine.

Does your son know?

No. He knows that another man “put him in my belly”. I WILL NOT EVER tell him about the rape.

There is absolutely NO circumstance in which this information will be beneficial to my son. I will not withhold any pertinent medical information, etc.

As far as he will ever know, it was a one night stand with a guy who turned out to be dangerous. He has a long criminal rap sheet that I can refer to.

He knows that another man “put him in mommy’s belly”, but he’s never pressed beyond that because my husband is “daddy” and always has been. He’s an amazing father so my son has no holes he feels need to be filled.

I’m aware that he may ask more questions as an adult, but I plan to be as vague as possible. Make him believe it was just some one night stand or something. The truth would just destroy him.

Is the rapist trying to claim parental rights? Does he pay child support?

He he fighting the petition to terminate his rights. He hasn’t made any attempt to contact my son, but he’s trying to make it as difficult as possible for my husband to adopted him.

I never sued for child support because that would give him an open to visitation rights. I have done everything I can to protect my son from him.

He is a rotten human being. Still wants to feel powerful my making you feel miserable.

That’s exactly why he’s doing this. It’s always been about power. 9 Years later and he still holds some power in my life. He isn’t going to give it up.

Have you ever been scared of your child ending up like the father?

Absolutely! It’s one of my biggest fears. But my husband and I are raising him to respect everyone, not just women. I will do whatever it takes to raise him to be a productive and successful member of society.

Has this created fear of intimacy or having future children ?

Initially it was extremely difficult for me to enjoy intimate moments. But then I met my now husband when my son was 16 months old.

He was patient and sweet and our relationship was about more than sex, so I grew to trust him and allow myself to enjoy the intimacy with him.

Still, every year, the month of June I subconsciously shut down the “funky town train”. My husband always understands and allows me to initiate when I’m ready to be intimate again.

Due to my amazing husband’s patience, we have actually had 3 more children in the last 5 years.

What advice do you have for people in your situation who did not get the rape allegation immediately pursued?

EMDR therapy! You may not be able to put your rapist away, but at least you can work through the trauma and not let it control your life. Take back your life!

What is EMDR?

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) EMDR.com explains the process. Basically it reprograms your brain to dissociate the emotion from an event. It’s extremely helpful for all forms of PTSD. 🙂

How did going through the emdr therapy feel?

The first few weeks were ROUGH… soooooo much was brought up and I wanted to quit so many times. But it’s amazing how the process works through your trauma, separating the emotion from the event.

For about 3 days after each session you will feel everything again. But by the 4th or 5th day, the portion of your trauma you worked on during that session is suddenly easier to think about without breaking down.

It’s really the most indescribable experience.

Twitter Files Show How The Deep State Conquered Social Media

Matt Taibbi provides a summary of the recent revelations of Twitter manipulations in service of partisan government entities. The publication of the ‘Twitter files’ came in several Twitter threads from writers, left and right leaning ones, who had been given access to the files and internal Twitter communication.

Capsule Summaries of all Twitter Files Threads to Date, With Links and a Glossary

There have been 12 threads so far. Some of these are of special interest:

Twitter Files Part 1: December 2, 2022, by @mtaibbi

TWITTER AND THE HUNTER BIDEN LAPTOP STORY

Recounting the internal drama at Twitter surrounding the decision to block access to a New York Post exposé on Hunter Biden in October, 2020.

Key revelations: Twitter blocked the story on the basis of its “hacked materials” policy, but executives internally knew the decision was problematic. “Can we truthfully claim that this is part of the policy?” is how comms official Brandon Borrman put it. Also: when a Twitter contractor polls members of Congress about the decision, they hear Democratic members want more moderation, not less, and “the First Amendment isn’t absolute.”

We will later learn that it was the FBI, which had the Hunter Biden laptop material and knew it was real, which pushed Twitter to censor the story by claiming that it was ‘Russian hacked’ material.

Twitter censorship:

Twitter Files Part 2, by @BariWeiss, December 8, 2022

TWITTER’S SECRET BLACKLISTS

Bari Weiss gives a long-awaited answer to the question, “Was Twitter shadow-banning people?” It did, only the company calls it “visibility filtering.” Twitter also had a separate, higher council called SIP-PES that decided cases for high-visibility, controversial accounts.

Key revelations: Twitter had a huge toolbox for controlling the visibility of any user, including a “Search Blacklist” (for Dan Bongino), a “Trends Blacklist” for Stanford’s Dr. Jay Bhattacharya, and a “Do Not Amplify” setting for conservative activist Charlie Kirk. Weiss quotes a Twitter employee: “Think about visibility filtering as being a way for us to suppress what people see to different levels. It’s a very powerful tool.” With help from @abigailshrier, @shellenbergermd, @nelliebowles, and @isaacgrafstein.

The above one is of special interest to me.

Until late 2021 my Twitter account @MoonofA, which I mostly use to promote my writings here, was not allowed to grow beyond 19,500 followers. There were also signs that tweets by me were not shown to users who were following me. After my account was released from the growth prison it rapidly grew to 47,500 followers in the fall of 2022. It then again went into growth prison for no discernible reason and without me getting any notice of it. Now anytime my follower count increases by 100 or so it will automatically be slashed back to 47,450 followers. There are also again signs that tweets from my account are again ‘shadowbanned’.

Yesterday @semperfidem2014 retweeted my latest:

Blue Check Brandon @semperfidem2004 – 21:27 UTC · Jan 5, 2023Well worth reading

Moon of Alabama @MoonofA · Jan 4New on MoA:
Ukraine – The Big Push To End The War
https://moonofalabama.org/2023/01/ukraine-the-big-push-to-end-the-war.html
Image

Then @New_Westphalian responded to @semperfidem2014;

New Westphalian @New_Westphalian – 21:47 UTC · Jan 5, 2023Replying to @semperfidem2004

If you hadn’t retweeted that, I doubt I’d have seen it. I follow MoA, never see a single tweet.
Not sure the cleanup has been entirely successful yet.

Well, I do not think that Elon Musk bought Twitter to do a ‘cleanup’. I believe he wants to use it for his own purposes whatever those may be. If it requires a new deal that gives government entities censoring access in exchange for whatever Musk’s wants or needs he will agree to that.

Back to Matt Taibbi’s summaries. Thread 3 to 5 were about Trump’s removal from Twitter. His account was locked despite the fact that he had not violated any of Twitter’s internal rules.

Thread 6 to 12 are about the government infiltration of Twitter from every angle, the Pentagon, the three letter agencies as well as various other entities started to censor free speech on Twitter:

Twitter Files Parts 11 and 12, by @mtaibbi, January 3, 2023HOW TWITTER LET THE INTELLIGENCE COMMUNITY IN

and

TWITTER AND THE FBI “BELLY BUTTON”

These two threads focus respectively on the second half of 2017, and a period stretching roughly from summer of 2020 through the present. The first describes how Twitter fell under pressure from Congress and the media to produce “material” showing a conspiracy of Russian accounts on their platform, and the second shows how Twitter tried to resist fulfilling moderation requests for the State Department, but ultimately agreed to let State and other agencies send requests through the FBI, which agent Chan calls “the belly button of the USG.”

Revelations: at the close of 2017, Twitter makes a key internal decision. Outwardly, the company would claim independence and promise that content would only be removed at “our sole discretion.” The internal guidance says, in writing, that Twitter will remove accounts “identified by the U.S. intelligence community” as “identified by the U.S.. intelligence community as a state-sponsored entity conducting cyber-operations.” The second thread shows how Twitter took in requests from everyone — Treasury, HHS, NSA, FBI, DHS, etc. — and also received personal requests from politicians like Democratic congressman Adam Schiff, who asked to have journalist Paul Sperry suspended.

The big mainstream media have been quiet about the Twitter revelations. The New York Post and a few other right leaning outlets had a piece about the attempt to ban columnist Paul Sperry:

Dem Rep. Adam Schiff wanted journalist Paul Sperry’s account suspended over reporting on Trump whistleblower, Twitter Files reveals

The journalist in question was Paul Sperry, a Post columnist who in January 2020 wrote an article for RealClearInvestigations about the purported “whistleblower” behind former President Donald Trump’s first impeachment, for which Schiff served as a House manager.In the article, Sperry said then-CIA analyst Eric Ciaramella was overheard talking in the White House with Sean Misko, a holdover staffer from former President Barack Obama’s administration.

A former official who reportedly heard the conversation told Sperry, “Just days after [Trump] was sworn in they were already trying to get rid of him.”

Misko later left the White House and joined the Intelligence Committee, which Schiff chaired, Sperry reported.

The email posted by Taibbi shows that Schiff’s office asked Twitter to take five specific steps that an unidentified company employee said were “related to alleged harassment from QAnon conspiracists.”

They included, “Remove any and all content about Mr. Misko and other Committee staff from its service — to include quotes, retweets, and reactions to that content.”

In response, another unidentified Twitter employee wrote, “no, this isn’t feasible/we don’t do that.”

Schiff’s office also asked for suspension of “the many accounts, including @GregRubini and @paulsperry_, which have repeatedly promoted false QAnon conspiracies and harassed” someone whose name is blacked out.

The Twitter employee responded to that by writing, “we’ll review these accounts again but I believe [name blacked out] mentioned only one actually qualified for suspension.”

In an email Tuesday, Sperry told The Post, “I have never promoted any ‘QAnon conspiracies.’ Ever. Not on Twitter. Not anywhere.”

“Schiff was just angry I outed his impeachment whistleblower and tried to get me banned,” he said. “I challenge Schiff to produce evidence to back up his defamatory remarks to Twitter.”

The only major and good piece written about the Twitter revelations I know of is by Lee Smith in the otherwise not readable Tablet Magazine:

How the FBI Hacked Twitter
The answer begins with Russiagate

This one is well researched and well written. It shows that the whole manipulation by the FBI was and is done in partisan interest with the war-mongering parts of the Democrats being the main beneficiary. The piece is quite long but I recommend to read it in full.

You may think that the paragraph below is exaggerated. However, the evidence following it fully supports the conclusion:

In fact, the FBI’s penetration of Twitter constituted just one part of a much larger intelligence operation—one in which the bureau offshored the machinery it used to interfere in the 2016 election and embedded it within the private sector. The resulting behemoth, still being built today, is a public-private consortium made up of U.S. intelligence agencies, Big Tech companies, civil society institutions, and major media organizations that has become the world’s most powerful spy service—one that was powerful enough to disappear the former president of the United States from public life, and that is now powerful enough to do the same or worse to anyone else it chooses.

All of this was build in secret. All of it can be secretly used against any target. It is also interesting that the fake issue of ‘Russiagate’, like the ‘Skripal affair’ in Britain, was to a large part the preparatory buildup to the current war in Ukraine.

While the Twitter files have now given us some knowledge of this they will not change anything. The Republicans are too weak, too corrupt and too susceptible to blackmail to seriously get into the depth of the whole issue.

Posted by b on January 6, 2023 at 17:26 UTC | Permalink

How does it feel to know you are dying? That is a difficult question, because the answer can be different from day to day or even from hour to hour. The feeling, range from denial, to fear, to guilt, to anger, to sadness and to acceptance. It is the same, I suppose, as any grieving process. You can’t work your way through one set of feelings and neatly move on to the next.

It is almost like being at the beach, standing in the water on a windy day. A wave comes at you and almost knocks you off your feet. You struggle and regain your balance, just in time for the next wave to hit. Over time, the strength of the waves subside and you think your footing is a little more secure. Suddenly, out of seemingly no where another large wave hits and you almost loose your balance again.

I suppose that pretty much describes the grieving process for anything. You can be hit by wave after wave of denial or anger, what ever, each wave trying to knock you down. The emotional waves don’t hit in any particular order or strength. Gradually, these waves do lessen in strength or intensity and you come to the peacefulness of acceptance. You are still not out of the water, and at anytime a wave can suddenly come back and hit.

Over time these emotional waves become less frequent and less severe. For me acceptance came almost as a relief. Knowing, I would not have to deal with the roller coaster ride of emotions, the ups and downs. Am I totally free of these feelings, no. I don’t really know, if I ever will be totally free. As long as you are alive, how can you be totally free of your feelings? Accepting them is one, thing being free of them is another. The waves have just been downsized and more easily manageable.

Maybe, I am still in an element of denial. I know what the doctors have said and I accept that. I just don’t think it is going to happen any time soon. Is that denial or just the human spirit pushing us on? I don’t know. With acceptance does that mean I have given up? No. Does that mean I have lost the will to live? NO. All it means is I am ready to go when God calls me, but not one minute before that. I do not fear death, I just want to delay it as long as possible.

– Bill Howdle

Cat rescued from the cold