Having fun with the 007 movie Goldfinger (1964)

This is part 2 of my orgy of James Bond movies. This time it’s with a classic movie titled “Goldfinger”.

Usually during Christmas I spend extra time to make the holiday a little bit special. One way that I do this is with rituals, and pomp. That means a Christmas tree, some decorations and music. I also like to wear a special Santa hat. Another way is with food. KFC, and hot ham and tomatoes on fresh bread. Mustard with sausages, and lots of cold cuts. And a third way is with movies. Not just Christmas movies, but some older movies just for the fun of it. Today, we will chat a little about a nice fine James Bond movie “Goldfinger” (1964).

So you sit down with your favorite beverage. You gather your friends, family and pets. Or if it is late at night, you gather a bowl of potato chips alone, and sit down to enjoy this movie.

Today I would like to promote the idea of enjoying some delicious chocolate moose, on a nice tray, while you enjoy the movie.

Doesn’t that look tasty…?

And here is our hero;

James Bond fighting the powers of evil during the Cold War. He does look good in suits, and I really do like how he is able to keep his hair all nice and tidy when he gets involved in a tussle.

This movie differs from Dr No in that it is more action / adventure. There is more fighting. More science. More gadgets. and really only one girl that James Bond cavorts with.

Just one. Or maybe two.

Perhaps three.

But that’s it.

Tops.

It’s treated as a top 007 Bond movie because of that, but you know, I think that it fails in that regard as much as it is praised.

Certainly the laser beam that going to cut bond in two is enticing for the six year old boy inside of me, and the idea of scientific geniuses taking over the world has merit, but really, where’s the interesting chit-chat and the fine bed-side manner?

It’s all cavort and plunder. Cavort and plunder.

Hum…

She’s a feisty vixen. Eh?

I’ll bet you that she (removes the snarl and fierce expression) would be a blast to go out with. Maybe go for some nice dessert. And in my mind, a nice dessert is a strawberry shortcake. No question about it at all. hands down.

I know. I know. I know.

Strawberry shortcake is for Springtime dates, and Summer outings. Oh don’t fall for that disinformation. It’s just perfect anytime of the year. Look at just how Christmassy festive it is.

So imagine that you are out with this chick (girl). Her name is Pussy Galore…

Which in American slang means “always open for copus quantities of indiscriminate sex”. Which is kind of an “inside joke” if you are an American.

And then after a fine delicious strawberry shortcake, a nice walk down the boardwalk (well, I am imagining a seaside stroll after all). Then a stroll to the hotel, or bungalow.

Maybe a passionate embrace and wet sexy kiss once the door is closed.

I wonder what is going to happen in their relationship? Well, knowing what I know about James Bond movies I can extrapolate. Let’s see how accurate I am…

Oh my!

By their expressions it does seem like they are having some fun. I’ll bet that about twenty to forty minutes later, Bond is smoking a cigarette, and she’s just purring while looking at herself in the mirror, and primping a bit.

And I am not complaining. I think that women look their best while they are getting pretty. Not afterwards. Life is a journey. Not a destination. Which is why I wrote my article on why it is critically important for a woman to have her own very special vanity, with a HUGE circular mirror. HERE.

But you know, being a secret agent is difficult business…

You never know when a car passes you by and shreds up your tires! Yikes.

I’m not sure, but I believe that this movie was the one that set the trend for automobile gadgets in the James Bond vehicles. When I was younger I had a Corgi version of the James Bond car. It had a escape passenger seat, a rear shield that would cover the rear window, machine guns in the front, shredding do-hickeys in the wheels, and a jet engine exhaust in the trunk. It was pretty cool, I’ll tell you what.

Here we see Jame Bond in a well appointed private jet, and a very attractive Chinese stewardess. You know, I could never figure out why the costume would expose her cute belly, but not show her bellybutton. That belly button is the most erotic part of a woman’s belly, don’t you know.

But that’s life.

Hollywood has distinct rules on what can and cannot be shown on the “big movie screen”. And belly buttons are absolutely verboten! (Sounds of marching, goose-stepping Nazi Germans in the background. No. I’m not insulting Germans. I’m just playing with mental images of World War II movies.)

That “wood trim” is obviously cheep vinyl wall-paper. Sheech! You would think that evil scientists would appreciate the natural hues and textures of real wood in their private jet aircraft.

Vinyl is just…

…tacky.

Well, it is.

It’s sort of like giving a starving dog a rubber bone. It looks like the real things, but it isn’t and once you taste the bitterness of vacuum, the nightmare memories of what you thought you were getting ring like a hollow bell in a deep dark cavern.

Anyways, James Bond is a man of many talents.

Here’s James Bond tackling with some kind of a bomb. I’ll bet you that there a count-down going on and that he only has seconds left before every thing goes kablooey! How nice that the bomb has these red and yellow indicator lights and wires that you can rip out to render the bomb inert.

And here we have the “bad guys” trying to use a laser to break into Fort Knox to get all the gold there. Good luck with that! That place has been looted and sitting empty for decades.

Is it me, or does that laser look like a giant syringe?

The uniforms are curious. They are wearing battleship greys, and Chinese 19th century Boxer slipper. Though, I have yet to figure out what the black and yellow thing-a-min-jib around their waists are. Maybe it’s some kind of henchmen life preserver. Eh?

Why does the door to the vault look like a suburban garage door?

This movie has lots and lots of twists and turns. We’ve got James Bond fighting with landing a plane, laser beams, lots and lots of gold, henchmen, pretty girls with some fine charms and incredibly strong vixen capabilities.

The movie starts off with a bomb.

Seriously. There a bomb that has to be dealt with. And you know, it’s a job that only James Bond can handle.

That’s where things start to get interesting.

After a quick tussle, some fighting and the bathtub electrocution, we are introduced to the always calm and confident James Bond. I do love him in the white tux, and I have to admit that the red carnation is a nice touch. Don’t you all think so?

You will note that a white tux is formal, while a deep blue tux is for semi-formal events. Nice lapels, but I think a shawl collar would have been a slightly better touch. Look at those nice shoulders. A nice cut suit for certain.

Too bad he’s in what appears to be a garbage-variety boat garage. I can just smell the rotting fish, the stale dried sea moss, and hear the waves lap up against the bollards.

So many cool things in the movie don’t you know.

There’s all sorts of cool adventures. All done and carried out in a span under five minutes. Bombs, killings, good guys, bad guys. Nice fancy and swanky venues.

Even a few cats.

Somehow Bond finds his way into a room with an attractive nude woman taking a bubble bath in the tub. Of course, this is the 1960’s and since he is wearing a tux, and he is (after all) James Bond, he seduces her which his devilish good looks…

…and well, you can guess the rest.

After the credits finish rolling, we find James Bond by the pool.

Certainly the fashions have changed, but a beautiful girl is a beautiful girl, and I for one would not throw her into the pool. I’ll tell you what.

I do like her cleavage. I wonder whats down there. Maybe some money, a set of keys, or a venomous poison spider to attack 007 with. Being a secret agent is a risky business, don’t you know.

Boy!

James bond is hairy. Don’t you think?

Ah. But the ladies don’t mind. They think it is sexy.

Of course, my chest hair is all white, and sometimes my wife absentmindedly plucks a chest hair away. Ouch! Come on girls. It’s sensitive!

Oh, and by the way, I do like how all the maids fall into the arms of James Bond. He’s quite the “Ladies Man” don’t you know.

Look at his legs. So very hairy as well. No wonder he is rarely shown rearing shorts.

He really is, however, quite the ladies man.

Here’s James Bond “copping a feel” with the fine girl that massaged the oil on his back. I note that the evil villain NPC smiles in approval.

There’s many half-clad girls in James Bond movies.

Here’s a chick that will feature predominately later on. Shes busy on the VHF, or is it a UHF, or maybe just a CB radio.  She’s got a fine backside. Nice and oiled up and toasty from the hot sun. She’s really just eye candy for the audience, though, don’t you know.

She’s a lure to take James Bond on an adventure.

Of course, we know that shes a spy.

Gasp!

And James Bond is going to use her… well, he thinks anyways. Here she is spying away. And James is very interested in her technique. And she, obviously, is very interested in his manly chin.

The movie has all sorts of interesting adventures and situations.

And some of the most interesting occur in, on, and beside, the beds. But you know, for some reason there’s always telephones near and on the beds. I mean… really. You want to rest on a bed, or you want to have sex on a bed. But the telephone is just a distraction. You really don’t want to be interrupted when you are in a dream, or having sex. I mean, that’s just not fun. How can you concentrate?

Right?

Nothing quite breaks up the mood as a ringing telephone when you are in the middle of something interesting.

Oh, and by the way, she’s a pretend blonde. You can tell by her eyebrows. She’s intentionally dyed her hair a harlot platinum blonde. Not that it’s bad, mind you. I happen to enjoy harlots. It’s a personal favorite activity of mine, don’t you know. But I do like women to be themselves.

I am so turned on by a woman wearing pajamas, in the house, or a tee shit and jeans outside rather than get all dressed up. Of course, I do enjoy when a woman gets dressed up, but on the sexiness scale, a “real” woman being herself just oozes sex. It’s like when they cook food. OMG.

There is few things sexier than a woman cooking.

Well, aside from coming out of the shower.

Anyways…

Anyways, having sex with James bond can be dangerous. As is shown in this scene here…

…Yikes!

For you all who are unawares, this chick didn’t get a chance to read the “Time magazine” on the table, nor flick though those stacks of phone books. Poor girl. She has missed on on so much.

Well…

Life goes on.

Here he is flirting with his bosses secretary…

Ah, there’s a lot of things happening…

And I don’t want to give away the plot.

But, I can give you a hint of things to come. There’s guns, sex, difficult situations, lasers, plans, evil, and airplanes.

A lot of things happen from here to there.

There’s a guy , Asian no doubt, that has this decapitating hat, and he’s a sight to behold. The evil genus is a pug-like portly fellow.

However, things aren’t always tea and crumpets. Sometimes you can get hit on the head and wake up on a slab with a evil laser ready to cut you into two.

Not that I ever had THAT particular experience, don’t you know.

And on and on.

Oh! By the way. Do you all put up stockings for Christmas? We do. And we fill it with these little Japanese (actually Chinese, sold under a Japanese brand name) little figurines, and some healthy candy.

You do not have to spend a lot of money on Christmas. All you need to do is make it special for the ones you love.

And that, of course means left over turkey sandwiches…

This one looks like it uses English muffins, or grilled crumpets, potato bread with coleslaw, cranberries, stuffing, and turkey to make the delicious dish. I would add hot turkey gravy, myself.

Or, turkey soup..

And what is soup without some nice crusty bread and butter / cheese. Eh?

Here we see Bond and his latest newly acquired vixen friend trying to land a dangerously out of control airplane.

Of course, everyone is concerned.

You can tell that they are by looking at their expressions in the airport control tower.  It’s all a matter of high international importance!

But you know all ends well.

James Bond lands safely using a parachute, and he and his vixen friend decide to celebrate! You know, in ways that are relaxing, strenuous, and enjoyable.

Twenty minutes later, Bond is smoking a cigarette, and the Vixen (whose name is Pussy Galore – wonder if she lives up to the name) is adjusting her hair so the next great adventure.

A happy ending

Now wasn’t that nice?

If I were to host a movie party…

Obviously I don’t. My idea of a movie is a rare thing that I do as a special family time. But in the past I would host a movie “party”. But I used to do it. And if I were to do it again, I would project the movie big on the wall. (I used to do this, but the projector remains stolen. Sigh.)

And I would play some vintage  “Let’s go to the movie” cartoons, and about three or four vintage movie trailers. To get the entire scene going. Not to mention popping some popcorn for the proper smells of a movie theater.

If you are going to do something, why not go all out and make it special? Hum?

Now for some fun

Now for a real gold-finger girl. Video 2MB

And a Christmas girl…

Merry Christmas to you all from China. video 2MB

Sexy video 1

This video is so sexy! video 3MB

Sexy video 2

Man oh man! Sexy! video. 1MB

Sexy girl 3 plus a fine pussy.

How to make delicious gourmet cat food. OMG, and a kitty cat too! video 3MB

And some real deal fun . fun . fun.

Bouncy – bouncy – bouncy. Put it on a loop. Jeeze!

I could watch this all day. LOL. Video 1MB

Finally…

Spend time with your friends. Life is too short not to have fun. video 2MB

Do you want more?

I have more posts like this in my Movie Index here…

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