Beware the Expat!

First off, whether you are in Thailand or in any other Asian nation, beware of other expats…

“The biggest "rip offs" I've seen and encountered have been perpetrated by expats on other expats.

My best friend here is a 76-year-old Thai man and his family who have always shown me more generosity and kindness than I could ever possibly repay. 

On the dark side, one so-called expat "friend" actually had someone email me his fake obituary to avoid repaying loans I had made to him. I kid you not!”

-Stickman 

I can certainly vouch for that. Ouch! In fact, I no longer meet other expats for a coffee or informal talk. It’s simply not worth my time of day. Most are pathetic. I am so sorry to say that, but gosh darn it, it is true. What I mean is that quality of what one would expect tends to be rather low.

Shenzhen, China via GIPHY

For instance, I just received a friend request on one of the expat forums. This guy is going to visit China for a week and wants to sit down with me and talk about tax and investment strategies with me over coffee. LOL. I wasn’t interested. In fact, I am never interested in giving my money to a stranger that I don’t know. (It’s pretty darn silly don’t you think? Giving money to someone you don’t know.) Anyways, I told him I didn’t have any money.

Which is true. I have arranged things such that I live a very clean and simple life. I have few needs, and eat and live simply. It really cuts my stress down. So I told him the truth. I have no money.

None.

He responded “how can that be, how are you going to help the poor people?”.

Ugh! Since WHEN was my role helping poor people? Who assigned me that role? What gave him this idea that I had money in the first place? Because I am in China? Is that why? What planet is he on? He wants me to trust him, a total stranger, with my money.

He expects me to let him fly in, give him money, and let him fly away with it…

There are all kinds of expats in China. Not just China, but all throughout Asia as well. Everyone comes for their own reasons and purposes. While I am sure that many come only to face the harsh slap of reality, some do make it and thrive.

Yet, you know, I have met more than my fair share of young bright-eyed teachers, interns, and students on travel for the “experience”. Interspersed with this group are the grubby tattooed covered “carnies” who now go by the moniker of “backpacker”. Give me a break . They are just nomadic beggars without a home.

The older expats, for the most part are better.

They are typically trying to make a new life abroad, whether it is part of a retirement concept, or just out of raw need.  You know, I hate to say this, but they also tend to be a little desperate. It’s tough starting out on scratch in your 50’s or later. This is especially true as many are no longer hireable, regardless what the discrimination laws say. Many have lost everything as part of a divorce, or a business venture that went South. It is kind of sad.

The problem is that within this mix of desperate “good guys” are a significant number of experienced fraudsters . These are older men who have successfully defrauded others in the United States have moved on to “greener pastures” to ply their trade. With Asia being one of the preferred destinations.

I have fallen prey to “business partners” who would “work with me” on various “projects” to make money. These projects were all genuinely workable, it’s just that my “partners” had other reasons for the project. They didn’t REALLY want to set up a company. They wanted such things as a title and a business card to impress others. Some wanted a nice office building to impress others of their ability. Some wanted an endless supply of free samples of product so that they could network and market “the product”. No one wanted to put their own time, money or names up-front on the legal documentation. Lessons learned.

I’ve had more than my fair share of bad experiences, thank you.

Which is why this post is being written.

Beware the Expat

This post rambles on and on, but you know, the point needs to be made. You need to be careful. Expats tend to be a lonely bunch. As such, they are prone to fraud. They have a need for friendship and companionship; a need to belong. Yet many can never belong to their new adopted country. They are forever outsiders. Thus the need for expat friends.

There is a tendency to open up and bare ones soul to a fellow expat. Don’t. It’s not a wise thing to do.

Nevertheless, I will tell the reader this, I have NEVER told ANYONE (With the obvious exception of my wife, who really doesn’t care about my membership in MAJestic.) about my history or background. The Chinese only care about what you can offer them.

When they ask about who I am and what I do, I always down play it Chinese style. When asked, I respond…

“I work as a businessman. I am an engineer by trade, and I usually spend most of my time in factories. I am as exciting as a potato. OK. 
Enough about me, what about you…”

If you say, you are rich, and have a big house, nice car, etc… what is the benefit? Well, [1] If they believe you, then they will try to take from you. This is true for both expats, as well as locals. Alternatively, [2] if they do not believe you, then they think you are a loser and a braggart.

So, no matter what you do – you lose. There is no benefit in disclosure. None.

None.

Which brings me back to the point that expats are vulnerable. They are forever outsiders. While they might have a girlfriend, or wife (with an extended family), they will always be an outsider. No matter how well the wife can speak English, watch American television shows, or enjoy a fine pizza, she will not be able to understand what it was like in America in the 1970’s. She just cannot.

Aside from the fact that she wasn’t alive then, the cultural difference is far too great. For instance, here in China, the day to day life is really different than what I ever experienced in the states.

Thus, expats tend to be a needy group. As such they tend to want to reach out to others. They can use all kinds of hooks or methods. One of the most common is to be a braggart. You claim some kind of “advantage” that makes you somewhat “more special” and thus “interesting”. But what are these things that make you interesting?

• A personal friend of ex-President Bill Clinton, perhaps?
• The gardener for Bill Gates, maybe?
• Maybe you shared a jail cell with a noted celebrity like Johnny Depp?
• Maybe you owned a Lamborghini or a nice porsche 911 (a common brag, don’t you know…)
• Maybe you had a house on the beach and hired girls to service you?
• Maybe you invented the Internet?

No one really is interested in hearing about how you grew tomatoes, built a deck for your pool, or bought a riding lawnmower.  It’s seemingly too mundane. Though, truth be told, I actually would be.

There are expats for one reason or the other say that they were a member in the CIA or some other secret American organization. There are all kinds of organizations in the United States government. Claiming to be CIA in a foreign land might end up getting you killed, such is their reputation. Why not the DHS, ICE, FBI, DOJ, IRS, FCC, FDA, or HUD?

Of course, they might have been. However, it is really rather doubtful. Once in federal service, always in federal service. Maybe you retired, but would you really go overseas after such a cushy three figure income on “Uncle Sam’s” payroll? Who really knows?

Or for the matter, who the heck really cares?

If you tell them that they are (were) part of a secret government program or agency, they will think that you are friggin’ nuts.

Probably, more than likely, think that you have low self-esteem for one reason or another, and need to create some kind of fiction to inflate your importance on the world scene. You are not going to [1] make any friends, [2] get any girls, or [3] make any money saying these things whether they are fiction or not. It is always best to keep quiet. Say nothing. Let people come to their own conclusions about you based about who you are at that very moment in time.

We all want to be remembered.

I personally believe that it is a human need. Some people feel that the only way that they can be remembered is if they do something horrific, or if they kill themselves in a spectacular manner (death by chainsaw, how is this even possible?) In a way, I suppose, it’s true. However, it really isn’t necessary. Not really.

People will remember you for your kindness, your good deeds, and the impression you make on them. They will remember how YOU made THEM feel.

An Example

No matter where you live, you need to be good. You need to treat yourself well, dress well, eat well, and be generally good with everyone you meet.

I am not at all kidding. Be clean and well groomed. Be kind and reasonably generous. Be helpful. Talk about interesting things (It does not need to include the United States government either. Talk about food. It’s always a favorite subject.) Be wholly attentive of the people whom are surrounding you. You are never the center of the world. You are only a participant in the reality that was constructed for you.

So when you go overseas, and the world seems different. With different rules, laws and social norms. Be yourself. Be open and adapt. It can be painful, but if you are kind and decent, you will be ok.

Crossing the street in Thailand via GIPHY

People try to reinvent themselves in Asia, often making all sorts of mistakes. Usually the mistakes can turn south, or even become lethal. Here is an interesting article on this subject. It can be found HERE . Excerpts follow;

“The warm weather, low cost of living and ready availability of comely women are not the only reasons some head for South-East Asia. The region attracts misfits from developed countries who can start again. 

It can be a fresh start, a chance to bury your background and reinvent yourself. With more than a few expats in Thailand, things just don’t add up and I often find myself thinking, who do you think you are?

The biggest story of the year in Bangkok expat society broke a couple of weeks ago when three foreigners – initially thought to be two Americans and a Brit, but later shown to be all Americans – were arrested in a building in the Onut area after tip-offs that counterfeit passports were being produced. 

Police officers executing a search warrant probably expected to find material used for making dodgy documents. Instead, they discovered the dismembered body of a Caucasian in a freezer.”

It turns out that this blogger actually sent and received emails from two of these individuals. This is more to the point because he is a rather well-known blogger in the expat community rather than for any kind of particular friendship with them.

You can make all sorts of “friends” on the Internet. Yet, would you really want to spend time with them in person? Who knows? The Internet can be very deceptive and as such, it can lure people into a false sense of security where all kinds of frauds can be committed.

“Of the three arrested Americans, Jim Eger had sent me numerous lengthy emails several years ago. They didn’t strike me as suspicious at the time, but rereading them now with the benefit of hindsight and what has been reported about the case, they piqued my curiosity. 

And then there was the guy who was said to have been hastily cremated whose name I recognized immediately. He’d sent a lot of emails to me over the years and shared much about his complicated private life.”

Need I say more? You never know what you are dealing with, when you are an expat in a foreign land. No matter how much they smile, and how drunk they are, everyone carries a past. Some of the pasts are just mildly curious (like mine), while others are quite dark and dangerous.

While I would really like to talk about my tomato plants, my love for Lorraine swiss cheese, and how to find the best salted butter in China, other people might want to chat about “bitcoin” or running a business to get “filthy China rich”. Ugh! The world is filled with all sorts of people, and many Americans are still fixated in the obtainment of physical items at the expense of interpersonal relationships. It’s sad, you know. Really, really sad.

Anyways, he goes on about these “internet friends” who wrote emails to him…

“Rereading our initial email exchange, it strikes me that he was trying to create a favorable impression of himself as something of an old Asia hand. He was not shy to name-drop a well-known, long-term, respected foreign restaurateur who some rumors say is former CIA – and someone who Jim would obviously knew I was familiar with…

Another part of the email that didn’t ring any alarms bells at the time – but does today – was talk of his involvement with renewable energy. As every savvy Bangkok expat knows, renewable energy is the #1 industry the boiler room boys – past and present – love to say they’re involved with.

 Green, renewable and anything good for the environment, it immediately makes people think positive things, puts them at ease and helps to get them to lower their guard. Someone working with something good for the environment could not be up to no good, right? That’s not to say that Jim had connections to Bangkok’s notorious financial scammers – on the contrary, there is absolutely nothing to suggest he was. 

Like I say, in Bangkok expat society, when anyone talks about “renewable” or “green” energy, be careful!”

Warning signs all.

• Ex-CIA.
• Involved in “renewable energy”.
• Wants to be your friend.
• Maybe start to tell your personal and intimate details to help lower your guard…

Uh oh!

“Some things just didn’t sound right in his emails and his willingness to tell me rather too much about himself makes me wonder what he may have been up to…

Yikes!

The emails were very well written, clearly the words of someone well-educated who had his shit together, not another lost expat or hapless newbie sharing the same old bargirl done me wrong story. At the same time…

…the words read a little like they were rehearsed.”

About the Expat Experience

We all leave the United States for our own reasons. Sometimes it’s because of a divorce and a chance to start over. Sometimes it is for work. Sometimes it is for adventure, and sometimes it is for fun. Or, in my case, it was directed towards China out of necessity. Everyone has their own reasons.

Never assume that others are like you just because they “mirror” your understandings or experiences.

There is a need that we expats have. We need to spend some time with others who shared our same experiences. It is nice to talk and have a beer with someone who knows what it is like to get a “Sonic Burger”, or who knows what it is like to pay the toll on “the Pike”. It is refreshing to chill with a guy who is (in a way) like you.

But, you’ve got to be wary.

I’ve seen manipulators and tricksters “mirror” other expats. They look, act and say what the other person wants to see. When you are sitting away from them, and watch the interplay of discourse you can most certainly see it in action. It is amazing and disturbing at the same time.

Both participants are unaware of what is transpiring. They both mirror each other, and the result is a mutual “love fest”. There is nothing wrong with that, mind you. What is wrong is when one person decides to manipulate their relationship to profit from it.

Indeed, there are many, many scams out there. Many people prey and play on expats.

There are also a myriad of scams too numerous to mention here. But one example, another American expat of retirement age was in a steady relationship with a Thai. Every weekend they’d go to her family for lunch. The whole family would be there including the woman’s nephew and her brother. 

After four years the expat was tipped off: the brother was the woman’s husband and the nephew their son. The whole family had been in on it and had been milking him for money the whole time.

Among the long-term circles in the expat ghettoes peppered around the region there are liars, misfits, mercenaries, opportunists, English teachers and missionaries. 

Some are here out of genuine love of the place. They’ve come here for everything that’s different, for what you don’t or can’t get at home. Many, after a few years, wouldn’t want to return home. They’ve been bitten by the bug and would find adjusting to life back home just too difficult.

-PlanetAsia

It’s a Dangerous world – Some Expats go Feral

It’s true. You try to go native, and get tangled up with the locals and their lifestyle.  When you go to a new and different area, the differences can be alluring. However, they can be dangerous as well. You do have to be careful, least you fall into a trap, or a pit that you cannot climb out of.

There are many misunderstandings. Most Americans are unaccustomed to the open and (often) free sex in Asia, and often misunderstand their role in the food chain. They think that Hollywood portrayals are accurate. As a result, you end up with “feral expats”.

Some describe a hierarchy of expats living in Southeast Asia. 

At the top there are the expat long-timers been there for years. In places like Cambodia this would be those who came with the UN right after the civil war years and never left, or left and then came back, having been “bitten by the bug”. 

Next came the professional expats living on Western salaries. 

Then in descending order come the TEFLers, those teaching English as a foreign language. 

Then there are the “Voluntourists” working for the myriad of NGOs and community groups. 

Following these are the Backpackers. 

Lastly, came the Sexpats followed by the Deadpats. These last two are a poor reflection on Westerners and probably confirms for many locals the negative image of foreigners.

-PlanetAsia

Unless you are smart, and have your wits about you, it is easy to get sucked into a situation that you might have trouble untangling out of. Many cannot.

Suicides are common. This is especially true in South-East Asia. Usually these are expat males caught up in a financial wrangle with a local woman or her family. More than a few expats have been burned that way, some losing their life savings. Some wind up living on the streets in places like Pattaya. Others jump off of high rises, or drive headlong into a dump truck at high speed. In fact there are numerous websites devoted to this phenomenon.

• Farang Deaths – Documenting deaths of foreigners in Thailand
• Thailand ‘one of the most dangerous tourist destinations …
• All cases of foreign deaths in Thailand – Farang Deaths …
• Top 10 Most likely ways to die in Thailand | Living Thai

But it is far more complicated than this. In places like Thailand, Cambodia and Vietnam, many expats adopt unhealthy lifestyles: too much alcohol, poor eating habits and a lack of exercise. If you want to have sex, you had best be up for the exercise. You need to start eating locally, and concentrate on more fresh fish, instead of those delicious (but greasy) cheeseburgers.

Chinese girls can be alluring. via GIPHY

It’s not just the drinking, but because medicines are not regulated as they are in the USA, they are very easy to obtain and abuse.

Pharmacies in Cambodia are usually clustered together. One starts up and others follow suit. Self-medication is the rule. There’s no such thing as a controlled substance, which leads to all sorts of shenanigans. Morphine and heroin are widely available and cheap. People with a predilection for substance abuse can wind up in all sorts of trouble. For weeks I had a morphine addict masquerading as an English teacher staying in my hotel.

So, the expat MUST be “on their toes”. They need to plan, be careful and be with the right friends. If they make a misstep they could lose everything including their very own life.

Expats are NOT Immune

It’s true, though many people think that somehow, as an American with an American Passport they can get special and favorable treatment. Not so, not at all.

The judiciary is rarely independent, and the police corrupt. Personally, I find there is a certain assumption amongst tourists and expats when travelling abroad, to many places, that they are somewhat immune with a foreign passport. The reality can be much different. As a foreigner you can be exceedingly vulnerable in many instances.

The expat needs to be aware of this. Once they move outside the United States they are ALWAYS a foreigner. It does not matter how modern the society is, such as China or Japan, or how backward it is.

The world is stratified. When you become an expat you voluntarily drop down a peg on the sociological structure in exchange for certain other benefits. These other benefits can be a lower standard of living, better environment, more interesting society, and nice climate.

Shanghai, China via GIPHY

Full Circle

Immediately off the plane in Asia you become immune to ads, because you won’t understand any of them! After around six months, the effects of long-time immersion in western propaganda will start to wear off. Ad jingles will stop playing in your head. Your favorite TV shows will lose importance. You will decide what to eat on your own.

The result is you stop feeling the urge to buy things just to get a dopamine rush as if you were a caged rat hitting a lever to get a cocaine pellet. You ease into a minimalist lifestyle where accumulating things no longer positively affects your mood. In fact, you start feeling guilty when you buy things, because now you understand that objects don’t bring lasting happiness.

-PlantAsia

And now here we are, back to “full circle”. Leaving the United States can be very dangerous. It is not the same as what the fear-mongering media would lead one to believe, but it is dangerous in other ways. Expats, especially the successful ones, have learned NOT to trust anyone. They have learned that that pretty girl that you are cavorting with, would leave you as soon as your money runs out, and that businessman welcoming you would shun you if he knew the full extent of your finances.

Be friendly, but wary.

For that is the true and real secret of survival outside of the United States.

Chinese rollercoasters are modern and awesome. via GIPHY

Takeaways

• American Expats are a different kind of “creature” compared to a “normal” American.
• When a person leaves the United States they can expect to change.
• When an American expat meets fellow expats, he should be wary.
• Life outside the United States is fraught with dangers.
• Some expats, are not what they seem.
• Different Asian countries are more dangerous than others.

FAQ

Q: What is an expat?
A: An expat is anyone who lives in another country other than their birth nation. In my case, I refer to it as an American who is living outside of the United States.

Q: Can expats be trusted?
A: Like anyone else, there are both good and bad people. Some can be trusted and some cannot. When it comes to expats, there tends to be a higher percentage of bad expats than one would normally encounter in a civilized civilian population in your home nation.

Q: Why are you an expat?
A: Everyone should grow as they age. If you are growing, then situations will present themselves which will assist you in your growth. Often this means that you need to move to another nation. This is what happened with me personally.

Q: How can another expat hurt you?
A: Like all bad people, they could steal your money, your wife, your job, your career and your house. They can manipulate you to do things so that they would benefit.  You really need to be careful when dealing with people who understand your weaknesses.

Other posts about China

• The Tale of the End of the Day Potato
• Democrat Busybodies and the Destruction of Freedom
• A Comparison between American and Chinese Playgrounds
• News as Everyday Dog Shit
• What High School Taught me About Democracy
• Why and American man should leave America and Travel
• Attack of the Dancing Grandmothers
• When the SJW movement took control of China
• The Importance of a Family Meal Together
• Freedom and Liberty in China
• The Ben Ming Nian – The Twelve-Year Curse
• Beware the Expat

Notes

1. Created 12JUN18.
2. SEO and release to the Internet 12JUN18.