Our world is changing.

The key actors in this genuine reality show have communicated both orally and in writing, and their nations have physically acted; yet, so few seem to be watching, listening or seeing. 

Very little from Xi or Putin is kept secret aside from the usual military and trade secrets, although there is the language barrier. 

The obfuscation from the West is very clear to see. 

It appears they think that by staying silent their dominant position that only exists in their minds can be kept in place, which is doubly true for the Outlaw US Empire. 

Chronic prevaricators do have a problem when they try to dismiss yesterday's lies to replace them with today's as honest actors will hold them to their word. 

And that's precisely the aim of Russia's security proposals--Russia is calling out the West's longstanding series of lies and deliberate misinterpretations. 

China for its part is doing something similar, although its context differs. 

Xi announced China's intentions before Biden became POTUS--to force the Outlaw US Empire to become a law-abiding, "normal," nation--and bonded with Russia and other like-minded nations into an organization that more than signaled their intent--at least to those of us watching. 

As noted by numerous observers from both sides, direct warfare between the Outlaw US Empire and either or both Russia and China is highly unlikely for the Empire will suffer greatly, a truth known by at least some of those running the Empire into the ground.

Unfortunately, there's an impression that the 189 other nations on the planet aren't watching. 

Well, we know that most of the NATO/EU/OSCE nations are watching and directly involved, but so too are the world's remaining nations. 

And the vast majority back Russia and China because they're voicing their desires for a Law-based International Order centered on the UN, its Charter and other aspects of International Law. 

Too bad a poll isn't taken of those nations to see how many agree with the Joint Statement and its Manifesto; but based on related UNGA votes, the vast majority would say Yes, we agree.

Although the context is wrong, the Outlaw US Empire is acting very much like Icarus and will succumb to its hubris as did Icarus. 

That the Neoliberal Parasites actually in charge of the Outlaw US Empire seek to keep their place and power doesn't mean that they will. 

But for the Empire to become a normal nation for the first time in its history will require their overthrow and replacement by a far more humane, human, democratic, and enlightened polity than what currently exists. 

That may seem like a tall order, but many millions within the Empire crave such a change, and they have most of the world willing to aid that transformation.

-karlof1 | Feb 9 2022 0:54 utc

Our world is changing

It is on all levels, and while I mostly chat about Geo-Political issues and MAJestic, we have to realize that decay and collapse of America, or the rise of China, or the advances in Africa all consist of other shattering changes.

Consider this article from the Burning Platform…

The Terror

Yes. Our world is changing…

The article is part of a series of articles that will try to address the changes that the Earth is going though. It’s not just Geo-political issues, but it’s the entire nature of the various societies that exist on the earth. They all must change, as that is the ONLY way to break up many of the control mechanisms of the “Old Empire” on this Prison Planet of a fiasco.

Don’t understand?

Well, it’s about fifty principles that have to be explained in detail before you can understand it. Relax. I covered them elsewhere. And don’t get too caught up in the details. Just go with the flow and try to catch up. You can back-fill knowledge later on.

Fundamentally, there is a new changing of power structures going on (upon the globe) right NOW.

It’s easy to be afraid. That’s how the tired and old power structures manipulate. They generate fear and force you to obey, using herding techniques to achieve their goals.

Don’t be afraid.

Here we are going to discuss how change is normal and nothing to be fearful of. Not at all. In fact, change is desirable, or do you still want to be the ungainly awkward kid you were when you were pre-adolescent?

Consider the 1940’s

Women were women. Men were men. Dogs were dogs, and cats were cats. Additionally, there were several other classifications such as babies, and old men. The fashions were different, but that only added to the charm of that time.

Here’s some “bathing beauties” wearing colorful swimming attire, and showing off their fine legs. You will note that the women all curled their hair as was the fashion back then, and hid their belly buttons. Unlike Europe, America women were afraid to show off their chests and kept them covered.

Was it a good time? Was it a bad time?

Well, I would argue that it depended on who you were and where you lived. Most certainly, those in Europe, Russia and in China had a rough row. But most people who lived inside the United States, Switzerland, and Canada really had a nice time of it there.

Certainly, if you were a man living in the United States during the war period, you had an easier time picking and choosing between women to date. The war tended to thin out the available male population, and it became a “target rich” environment for meeting and spending time with pretty and attractive women.

Or perhaps Algeria in the 1890s

Still, without cell-phones, cars, television, people seemed to get along just fine. People met, ate, talked, and had friends. Women were colorful and attractive, as these three women can well attest to. People gathered together and shared in delightful conversation. Sometimes over tea. Sometimes over coffee. But in all cases, the point was a sense of community and belonging.

I suppose we could continue to go backwards in time. Maybe to the Roman Empire, or to the Ancient Incas, or earlier. In each selected year, we would find that many things were different, but we would also find that many things stayed the same.

The difference in novelty is charming. It is nothing to fear.

Consider the 1970s

Below is a mechanical contraption that my grandmother had.  It is a simple index machine that would allow you to place all the phone numbers of all your friends, family and business contacts in one place. You would simply write their phone numbers down so that you wouldn’t need to memorize them.

Obviously, you don’t need this here today. Your phone and chat applications all provide this service automatically. In China, it’s for free, but in the United States it’s rolled into the “phone service plan” that you must purchase to use the phone.

Again, technology is different, but is it something to be fearful of? No. Of course not. It’s just different, and we all adjust to doing things differently. That’s all.

Attractive Flower Seller, 1960s

Back in the 1960s, and even up into the late 1980s, flower companies would hire young attractive girls to sell flowers on the street corners. It was common, and I’m sure that they were able to make a few sales every day.

You don’t see that today, but is that bad? Or is it good?

It’s neither. It’s just different. Personally, I like the idea of an attractive girl making some extra money selling things. But that’s just me. Though, if I were this girl, I would be wearing sandals and sitting near a big shady umbrella, with a bottle of water nearby.

I like her cropped shirt, short jean shorts, and wide leather belt.  She was a child of the 1960s, and I’m sure that she ended up living a fine and interesting life though the 1970s.

Throughout society, at every instance in time, you will see groups of people. All individuals. That seemingly coexisted with each other.

Businessmen drove their big black Lincoln’s by her, and families with their children screaming in their Pontiac sedan drove by and honked (perhaps). Was it good or bad? Neither. It was just fine and dandy for the time.

Consider Europe in the 1970s

In the picture below, we see an attractive woman in a Bistro or Brasserie. She’s braless, and wearing a nice transparent top. She’s holding a small purse with one hand while her companion, and the people behind her, all smoke their cigarettes.

It’s a scene that you will not see at all in modern contemporaneous Europe, but is that bad? Is it good?

Some might argue that it is better now, while others argue the opposite. But what does it really matter? Is it something to fear, to get worried about, or to hate? No. Don’t be silly.

It was a different time, and a different place.

And there is nothing at all to be afraid about. Were you all to get into a time machine and travel back in time, I’m very confident that all of you reading this would be very comfortable and would adapt quite comfortably to the environment that presents itself.

America 1961

Let’s go back to America.

Did you realize that for many years after the 1960s, convertible top automobiles nearly disappeared from the American roads? The story as to why is certainly an interesting subject, but we will not delve into them right now, instead we will consider the idea of enjoying life in a convertible with a swivel seat.

Now, it is something to be fearful of?

No. Not at all. It’s something to be concerned about, maybe to be upset or joyful over (depending on your point of view), but it’s not something to be afraid of.

In the following pictures, we will take a moment to observe snapshots of life at different time periods in history. At every instance, you will take note that while they might be novel and different from what you (the reader) are experiencing now, they are not anything to be fearful of.

And with that thought realize that CHANGE is nothing to be afraid of, but rather something to embrace.

It is something to look forward to. It’s like always eating McDonald’s cheeseburgers for dinner and then switching to fresh, tasty steaks. It’s a change, and a good one.

Snapshots of life

In the 1970s we used to cruse up and down the roads. Young couples would cuddle in the front seat, and often hold each other while listening to music.

An individual is defined by his/her habits – habitual way of seeing the world, habitual way of making decisions and habitual way of doing things. Habits make it easy to function because they are default ways of operating.

We are programmed by our habits.

This is why it is difficult to change a habit. Habits tend to be replaced by other habits and not eliminated in a vacuum. The aim of positive change is to replace an unproductive or destructive habit with a good one.

And isn’t that what is going on now?

We are hopeful for the future, but fearful that things could go terribly wrong.

But if you are a child, you don’t now enough about life to be afraid of anything. So you are more accepting of things as they manifest.

Kids would be kids. Some would be fashionable. Others would be jokers. Still others would be beautiful. In all cases, they duplicated the behaviors of those whom they respected. Which was, more often than not, their parents.

Change doesn’t just happen. Humans (habits) and organisations (cultures) by nature resist change because it is uncomfortable.

Therefore, the need to change has to be triggered for it to happen.

Something has to inspire or provoke the motivation to change. A trigger can be new information or pain/setback/loss or a pleasurable incentive/gain etc.

Consider what it was like when you were in your teenage years.

The lit up restaurants acted as lighthouses and beacons for a youth that had nowhere to go. There, they would socialize, eat cheap food, and smoke all free from the view and influences of their parents, or authorities.

Let’s face it: adapting to change is hard work. For this reason, it’s not surprising that most people remain stuck in a state of fear for weeks, months, years, and sometimes their entire lives.

The danger of this is something known as the contemplation stage.

This is where a person thinks about the fact that things are changing all around them, but fails to act on their thoughts and intentions.

They acknowledge there’s somethings worth changing, but they’re unsure if it’s going to be worth all the effort and perceived costs. And this is clouded by the natural revision to change; the build up of fear.

In other words, there’s a part of them that wants to accept the changes, but there’s another part of them that doesn’t.

Simply put, Contemplation is when a person is ambivalent about change.

But I have to tell youse all, change is coming whether you accept it or not. It’s a natural part of life.

In the Mediterranean, people would sun themselves and get a fine dose of much-needed vitamin D. Unlike America, going top-less was quite common and not a big deal at all. As still is the case in many places of the world.

Don’t ignore change and wait for things to return to “normal:” When change happens, it’s natural to hope initially that things will return to the way they were. But if the world really has changed, the longer you entertain that false hope, the more difficult it will be for you to move forward again. This is not how to handle change.

Fashion changes, hairstyles change. Chairs, tables and “blackboards” change. However, who we are and how we inherit our biological interests and other features extrated from society are not. A playful boy in 1970 would often resemble a playful boy from Ancient Rome.

Change should never be feared.

Don’t try to bring back the past: Sometimes people react to change by working harder in the hope they can stem the tide of change. But that approach is futile. What used to work may no longer work in the new situation.

Whether you cruse the “drag” in a camper smoking (illegal) marijuana cigarettes, or drink whiskey and smoke in a refurbished and re-engined classic car is immaterial. You enjoy the culture that you are part of and embrace it for all the lustful sensory expressions that you can acquire.

It’s nothing to be fearful about.

Don’t complain about the unfairness of it all: When change impacts you, it’s easy to get hung up on the “unfairness” of having your work or home life disrupted. But if you get stuck on that thought, you’ll end up hurting yourself. Fair or unfair, the change has happened. Now you have to learn how to handle change.

Young co-ed eating in the school caferteria. She’s very fashionable with the plad skirt, a big collared top and a long bright orange sweater vest. She’s such a child of the 1970s. She might appear odd and strange to us today, as she seems so thin, and without “booty”, but it was a different time, and in those days no one was injecting food with growth hormones, or eating GMO food.

Don’t refuse to adapt: Resisting inevitable change might feel satisfying for a brief period, but staying static in the face of change could eventually lead to extinction.

Attractive men. Part of the college tug-of-war team.  While they sought to work out college differeces in sports thir President and Senators preferred hot wars. And that is what happened. Often, we are manipulated by others through fear, and it could be fatal and dangerous to us. Fear is a primitive base reaction mechanism. Domn’t allow others to generate the fear within you. It’s unhealthy.

Be prepared for change: Pay attention to signs of change in your environment, whether it’s layoffs at your workplace, new aches and pains, or strains in your home life. Consider how potential changes could affect you and develop a plan for how to handle change — for instance, by learning new skills.

A mere few decades ago, drinking wine and smoking cigarettes was as normal as eating ice cream. But others, in their quest to make the world a better place by forcing others to obey their idea of a utopia changed all that. Fear, and manipulation to achieve goals and objectives is commonplace in most Western govnerments today.

Let go of the past: When things change, move forward quickly. The longer you wait, the more resistance you build to moving, and the harder it’ll be to adapt later and learn how to handle change.

Typing class in High School. When I took the class, I did so for fun. I had no idea that eventually I would end up using that skill in using a computer keyboard. In any event the class looked a lot like this. I was eventually able to pass a typing speed of 60 WPM.

Adapt—Be open-minded to new things: There are always experiences and opportunities available beyond those you are currently familiar with. You might like them even more than what you used to have.

This is the kind of kitchen table that was popular throughout the 1950s and early 1960s. My parents had one, as did my uncles and aunties. Eventually it was displaced and replaced. (My grandparents all had real hardwood tables with hardwood chairs.) These vinyl cushioned, metal pieces of magnificence, tended to last forever, and you can still find them in great condition in remote tucked away used furniture stores.

Imagine success: Envisioning what success looks like, and imagining yourself succeeding, can improve your attitude. When you think about what you will gain, rather than what you are losing, you realize change can be for the better. This is an important step in how to handle change.

Everyone had an afgan. I had a red, white and blue one crocheted by my paternal grandmother. It was a gaudy color and pattern, but as a child of the 1970’s I accepted it as a very cool and groovy item for my bed.

Handle your fears: Fear can have one of two effects:  1) It can paralyze you, if you imagine all that can go wrong if you leave your familiar ground, or 2) it can spur you into action if you fear that things will get worse if you don’t do something. The second fear is productive and healthy.

Saturday Night Live was intensely popular during the 1970s. And all of us enjoyed the humor and antics of the crew there. To this day, many of the skits and humor still resonate in this topsy-turvy world that we live in.

Learn to enjoy change: New experiences, discoveries, and achievements are rewarding, usually more so than continuing to do the same things. This is a key perspective in learning how to handle change.

This was the most commonly used item in my parents bathroom. As I grew up, they would let me play and play and play. All alone and unsupervised, and of course I would fall, get skinned knees, cuts and bruses. And of course, they would apply this red stain of mercurochrome to it. Honestly I don’t know how we could live without it.

Be prepared for continuous change: Change is a natural part of life. Change should only be a surprise if you aren’t paying attention, or if you’re operating on erroneous assumptions — for instance, that you’re entitled to having things a certain way.

In those days, the girls would wear comfiortable halters, and show their navels. It was no big deal, but it horrified our parents. The gals would spend hours curling their hair with these rollers or a curling iron, and then go about applying their makeup. Guys, on the other hand, just picked up the cleanest shirt off the floor and went out the door.

Change is like waiting for a shot at the doctor’s office.

Frustratingly, we sit with anticipatory anxiety about what is next.

Anticipatory anxiety is like brain-freeze without the pleasure of eating heaping spoonfuls of Haagen Dazs or downing an icy margarita first.

We can’t think, all we can do is sit and wait for the gripping feeling to pass. Under that icy cap of our minds, we imagine that life after (insert your specific change here) will be wholly different, wholly unfamiliar, and that we will be wholly unprepared for those unknown challenges.

Why do we sit with anticipatory anxiety about what’s next?

Well, since we have no actual data on how the change will be— given that it hasn’t happened yet— we do what we can to bide the time.

Is there a better way than to be the deer in the headlights in suspended animation as we close the page on one chapter on our lives and haven’t yet penned the new one?

In the 1960s, the girls almost uniformly wore colorful dresses, often showing off their nice legs, while guys (if they were truly fashionable) wore plad slacks and a gold chain. Here’s a scene from some kind of school event.

Why don’t you feel good yet, even if it’s a good change?

Because you haven’t located yourself yet in your new context. You are literally in transition.

Think of transition as a place in and of itself.

You’re not totally lost and disoriented, you’re merely between contexts.

The change you’ve experienced— whether it is the higher price for a cup of coffee, a new relationship, or a change in the Geo-political alignments is abrupt— our adjustment, on the other hand, takes longer.

Regardless of the specifics, transitions have roughly three predictable stages: know which one you’re in: that in and of itself will curtail the feeling of disorientation.

Stage One: Resisting/Reacting: Characterized by doubt and discomfort as you are actively objecting and negatively comparing your new situation to your old. You’re not looking, you’re judging and it doesn’t look good.

Stage Two: Adjusting/Exploring: Characterized by doing more than feeling: You’re gathering information on how to make this work, making choices, making connections, asking questions, digging in.

Stage Three: Living Well in the New Old or the Old New: This is the stage you don’t notice because, it doesn’t feel like a stage. You’ve arrived at your new destination. You’re accepting and incorporating the new so much, you wouldn’t have it any other way: the new is the (new) old.

Would it be more efficient to just skip to that final conclusion?

Sure, but we just don’t work that way.

But by understanding how change works, you won’t mistakenly, when you are in the early stages, take your discomfort as a sign of trouble or a wrong move, you’ll simply say— “Oh right, this is just how change is supposed to feel right now.”

Oh sure, the houses might have changed and the traffic might be quite different down town, but people are still people. We love, we hate, we work, we have families and we eat. Whether one nation rules, or anotherone does, those things nver change. And you can get all upset about “democracy” or “communism”, or whatever, but honestly, whay are you so worked up about it?

Is it because you are being manipulated to be upset?

How quickly will we move through these stages? Individual results may vary, but perhaps the wisdom of the charming, The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel will help us hang in beyond our many, “are we there yet?” concerns: “Everything will be alright in the end.

So, if it is not alright, it is not yet the end.”

It all comes back to the swimming pool analogy: when you first get into a pool, it doesn’t feel good. It feels cold.

You question briefly should I get out, or why did I get in, but then, anticipating what’s ahead—the refreshing feeling of floating weightlessly in water—you hang in and are greatly rewarded.

It feels good!

Why?

Did someone change the water, warm it up?

No, we adjusted.

So with change, we must be willing to feel that initial discomfort, ride it out and trust that we’ll adjust.

This is not a painting. It is a photograph. I can almost smell the spices, the grilled chicken and the hot dusty sun on my skin.

Don’t Expect to Feel Fantastic at First: Expect the Opposite

You didn’t want to start kindergarten, then you didn’t want to leave elementary school, or middle school, you don’t want to start college—then it was the best time of your life and so on. So it is for adults. If you only think ahead on the unknown, you forget that you are a master at transitions. But even masters have to pay the piper. The way to be gracious (and cut down on your anguish) is not to expect that you’ll have a seamless process, but actually expect the opposite. If you expect discomfort, like slowing down slightly before a familiar bump in the road, it won’t send you flying when you hit it.

This was a staple in the 1970s. There wasn’t a person alive who didn’t know how to fill the coffee pot, and set it percolating.  This is almost an identical replica of what I grew up with and what was abandoned at a yard sale when my mother’s estate was sold off. It was marked for five sents, and still no one bought it.

Fast Forward to the End and Put a Time Frame on the Adjustment

How do you think things will really turn out? Counter your anxious predictions with the facts. And while you’re at it, estimate how long you think it will take to settle into the new routine—a week? a month? a few? Even if your estimate is off, just being able to foresee the end of the adjustment curve suggests that this is possible (and likely).

This was from a time when there were only so many piers available. That was truly long ago. But, you know, with one subtraction of what we are used to living with, comes other advantages that we never consider.

Don’t Forget to Add Yourself to the Equation

You may feel powerless against change, but you’re in the picture too. How did all those previous changes get worked through?

You can be sure that in change in your own life,  that you had something (a lot) to do with that. All the tools and experience that you bring to the situation are there for you.

Sometimes, and periodically, the social norms are turned on their head and the children rebel. Maybe they become “Beatnicks”, or “Groovy Love Children”, or perhaps somthing else. It’s easy to fear the change. But it’s only temporary and sooner or later the things that are painful, hurtful or dangerous are discarded and a new reality manifests.

What Changes, What Doesn’t?

We may think when we start anything new; a new job, relationship, or school year that everything is new and that we not only have to reinvent the wheel, but the whole shebang.

This will especially be true with massive Geo-political changes on the horizon.

Focus on the things that are really changing and enjoy or take stock of what is already in good working order in your life. Appreciating what doesn’t need your attention may give you more energy to face head-on what does.

Whether it is a school caferteria serving a balanced meal int he 1960s with meats, potatoes, gravy, breads and salads or a Michelle Obama meal of chicken nuggets and ketchup, it really doesn’t matter. You deal with the circumstances as they are presented to you. You confront them as they are, and not as you want them to be. You should never be afraid of change.

Don’t Think, Do, and “Do Small”

How do you feel about the transition? Chances are that if you wait for the motivation to feel better—“I’ll start doing x, once y is over”— y doesn’t come.

Motivation follows behavior.

As we see ourselves doing things; acting within change, or adapting to it, we feel more confident that we can.

So don’t just sit there, do something, but do something small.

Take the big goal: what ever it takes and then just take it one call, one cup of coffee, one hello at a time. Build up from there.

Here’s two very fashionable couples in a major American city. maybe New York, but it could easily have been Pittsburgh or Portland. Those gals really had full heads of hair didn’t they? Wow! Stunning, and the guys, they are sporting wide brimmed hats. Really very awesome.

[1] Humor

Change is an unavoidable constant in our work lives. Sometimes it’s within our control, but most often it’s not. Our jobs or roles change — and not always for the better. Our organizations undergo reorgs and revamp their strategies, and we need to adjust.

Fortunately, there are ways to adapt to change, and even to take advantage of it.

Find the humor in the situation. Trying to find a funny moment during an otherwise unfunny situation can be a fantastic way to create the levity needed to see a vexing problem from a new perspective. It can help others feel better as well.

This is called “hanging out”. Directionless, with no activities to occupy their time, and no social venues to participate in, the children of America roamed the streets looking for love, and adventure. But often enough just simply got into embarrassing situations and trouble instead.

Pioneering humor researcher Rod A. Martin, who has studied the effects of different styles of humor, has found that witty banter, or “affiliative humor,” can lighten the mood and improve social interaction. Just make sure it’s inclusive and respectful.

A good rule of thumb is that other people’s strife is no laughing matter, but your own struggles can be a source of comedic gold.

[2] Be careful about vocalizations

Don’t do it. Don’t say bad or negative things. They act as affirmations.

And that is something you do not want to manifest.

One of the most common myths of coping with unwanted changes is the idea that we can “work through” our anger, fears, and frustrations by talking about them a lot. This isn’t always the case. In fact, research shows that actively and repeatedly broadcasting negative emotions hinders our natural adaptation processes.

That’s not to say you should just “suck it up” or ignore your troubles. Instead, call out your anxiety or your anger at the outset of a disorienting change so that you are aware of how it might distort your thinking or disrupt your relationships. Then look for practical advice about what to do next. By doing so, you’ll zero in on the problems you can solve, instead of lamenting the ones you can’t.

[3] Stress

Don’t stress out about stressing out. Our beliefs about stress matter. As Stanford psychologist Kelly McGonigal argues in The Upside of Stress, your reaction to stress has a greater impact on your health and success than the stress itself.

If you believe stress kills you, it will.

If you believe stress is trying to carry you over a big obstacle or through a challenging situation, you’ll become more resilient and may even live longer.

When you start to feel stressed, ask yourself what your stress is trying to help you accomplish.

Is stress trying to help you excel at an important task, like a sales presentation or a big interview? Is it trying to help you endure a period of tough market conditions or a temporary shift in your organizational structure? Is it trying to help you empathize with a colleague or a customer?

Or is stress to trying to help you successfully exit a toxic situation?

In AMeric today, and in much of the collective West, the “news” media at all levels are manifesting a toxic fear-generated narrative that is extremely toxic and very stressful

Avoid that firehose of noise.

It’s true, if funneled properly, stress can be a good thing. But only if you choose to see it that way.

[4] Values instead of fears

Focus on your values instead of your fears. Reminding ourselves of what’s important to us — family, friends, religious convictions, scientific achievement, great music, creative expression, and so on — can create a surprisingly powerful buffer against whatever troubles may be ailing us.

In a series of studies spanning more than a decade, researchers led by Geoffrey Cohen and David Sherman have shown how people of all ages in a range of circumstances, from new schools and new relationships to new jobs, can strengthen their minds with a simple exercise: spending 10 minutes writing about a time when a particular value you hold has positively affected you.

The technique works because reflecting on a personal value helps us rise above the immediate threat, and makes us realize that our personal identity can’t be compromised by one challenging situation.

[5] Accepting of the situation

Accept the past, but fight for the future. Even though we are never free from change, we are always free to decide how we respond to it.

Viktor Frankl championed this idea after returning home from three horrific years in Nazi death camps. He discovered that his mother, brother, wife, and unborn child were all dead. Everything in his life had changed.

All that he loved was lost.

But as fall became winter and winter gave way to spring, Frankl began to discover that even though he could never go back to the life he once had, he was still free to meet new friends, find new love, become a father again, work with new patients, enjoy music, and read books.

Frankl called his hope in the face of despair “tragic optimism.”

Frankl’s story is an extreme example, of course, but that’s all the more reason why we should find inspiration from it. If we fixate on the limitations of a specific change, we inevitably succumb to worry, bitterness, and despair.

Instead, we should choose to accept the fact that change happens, and employ our freedom to decide what to do next.

[6] Stability

Don’t expect stability. In the late 1970s a researcher at the University of Chicago named Salvatore Maddi began studying employees at Illinois Bell. Soon after, the phone industry was deregulated, and the company had to undergo a lot of changes.

Some managers had trouble coping. Others thrived.

What separated the two groups?

The adaptive leaders chose to view all changes, whether wanted or unwanted, as an expected part of the human experience, rather than as a tragic anomaly that victimizes unlucky people. Instead of feeling personally attacked by ignorant leaders, evil lawmakers, or an unfair universe, they remained engaged in their work and spotted opportunities to fix long-standing problems with customer service and to tweak antiquated pricing structures.

In contrast, Maddi found that the struggling leaders were consumed by thoughts of “the good old days.”

They spent their energy trying to figure out why their luck had suddenly turned sour.

They tried to bounce back to a time and a place that no longer existed.

Although all and each of these six techniques requires different skills to pull off — and you’ll probably gravitate toward some more than others — there’s one thing that you must do if you want to be more successful at dealing with change: accept it.

Any life is a life of change. We experience transitions in work and relationships, changes in our physical and mental health, and new events in our local communities and our world. Sometimes we know a change will occur, while other times it comes suddenly and unexpectedly. Maybe it’s a disappointment, or maybe it’s a wonderful surprise.

Many people spend a great deal of time and energy trying to avoid change, but it will inevitably catch up to them. If you can learn to cope with change, you’ll lower your risk for anxiety and depression. Your relationships will flourish, and your body will feel healthier. But if you can’t cope with change, only a minor amount of stress can make you feel overwhelmed by life. You might also struggle to set and meet the goals you have for yourself.

Being able to cope with change is sometimes called resilience. Though your environment and genes might influence your level of resilience, the amount isn’t set in stone. Practicing different ways of thinking and being in the world can boost your ability to deal with change and help you create a life that is adaptive to new places and unexpected events. Let’s take a look at a few healthy practices for increasing your level of resilience and coping with change.

Evaluate Your Level of Control

Sometimes it’s all too easy to become fixated on events over which we have no power, or people who might never change their actions or attitude. But rather than focus on blaming others or moving the unmovable, resilient people set their sights on what they can control. To evaluate your level of control over a situation, you can ask yourself, “What can I take responsibility for in this situation?” When you look for opportunities to empower yourself and work towards change that is possible, you’re less likely to feel stuck in difficult situations.

Practice Self-Care After a Loss

Often life’s transitions involve losses, such as a death, a big move, the loss of a job, or a relationship ending. Even positive transitions, like a graduation or a job change, can make you feel a little sad. During these times of transitions, don’t push away any grief you might feel. Acknowledge the loss, and pay attention to what you’ve learned from the experience. Seek support and camaraderie among friends and family, and consider speaking with a counselor or other mental health professional if you feel you need extra support during the transition.

Check Your Thought Patterns

In times of change, it’s easy for your mind to cut corners. You might see everything in black or white, or you assume the worst will occur. But if you take the time to examine your thought patterns and assess how rational they are, you might find some space to nudge your thinking towards resilience. If you’re not sure how to slow down your mind, practicing relaxation techniques, such as mindfulness or deep breathing, can help you feel more in control of your brain and how you evaluate a major change.

You can also generate more positive thoughts if you take the time to remind yourself about transitions and challenges you successfully navigated in the past. Make a list of ways you’ve been resilient in your life, and consider what traits and actions might be able to see you through the current challenge. By focusing on your strengths instead of your weaknesses, you will feel more empowered to meet what lies ahead.

Be in the Present

While it’s important to look to the past to find your strengths, sometimes you can feel too pulled into the future in times of change. When you worry about what the future will bring or what mistakes you might make, you forget to be in the present and observe what’s happening around you. To bring yourself back to the present, get in tune with your body. Pay attention to how it responds to stress, and set aside time every day to relax, take some deep breaths, and bring your focus back to the present.

Find Your Priorities

The most resilient people see change as an opportunity rather than a monster to fear. Transitions in life allow you to consider where your priorities lie. How do you really want to spend your time on earth?

What’s really important to you?

Where do you see yourself wasting your time and energy? With a clear sense of your goals and values, you will find your mind and body can be much more resilient when it comes to the stressors of change.

Above all, prioritizing your health in life’s transitions means not being afraid to ask for help when you need it. Humans are social creatures by nature, so you weren’t built to withstand every sudden event in life without the support of others.

• Talk to family and friends who are experiencing similar changes, or consider finding a support group in your community.
• Ask your doctor about how to prioritize your health during change, and don’t be afraid to talk to a counselor or other mental health professional about building resilience.

You can’t avoid change, but you live a life of resilience. You can embrace transition and see challenges as opportunities to thrive.

Conclusion

The best things in life come out of change, often times even the changes that are unwanted. We don’t have to embrace change by diving in to those cold choppy waters headfirst, but if we can start by just dipping our toes in, one foot at a time, before we know it, we’ll be well on our way to arriving at our new destination.

What ever it might be.

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