The American society has devolved into a heartless “dog eat dog” world where it is every person for themselves. I have blamed the progressive “improvements” on this trend, but in truth there are many reasons, and many causes. And a simple black and white card-board cutout will not provide all the answers.

When I see American women today, I feel sad.

It’s almost like they are trying to perpetually trying to stay in their 20’s. In looks. In actions. In dating. In relationships. In everything.

They are not moving on. They are not considering families, generational growth. Growth as a person, and growth in spiritual, mental and emotional venues. They are somehow entranced in this idea of a perpetual “Springtime”, and not looking at the beauty of Summer, Fall and Winter.

There’s a lot that I can say on this level and on this subject, but as a man I am restricted in speaking about what I know. And what I know is this… As a man, you don’t actually start living life until you pass your 50’s. It is there when you really come into your own.

Now…

That’s for men.

For women, it’s different.

Women go through stages of growth. And I find that the woman in her 30’s and 40’s much more “rounded out” and healthier (emotionally and physically) when they were younger in their 20’s. And if they take care of themselves, maintain an active (face to face) social life, can extend this attribute (characteristic) up and into their very senior years.

But that is just me, and a 20-year old won’t have any understanding what I am talking about.

Sigh.

Anyways, there’s a bunch of articles out there about women who have foregone raising a family and having long term relationships in favor of a career or a life of eternal flings. These are sad people. They are lonely, shallow and fucked up in the head.

People, it’s our relationships with each other that enables us to grow.

You don’t have relationships…

…you don’t grow.

Here’s a good article titled “She needs more men!” and posted way back in November 18, 2012 by Dalrock. It is reprinted as found, but modified to fit this venue. I included the pictures of drag-lines for nostalgic purposes, but note that all credit to the original author.

She needs more men!

Badger writes about a woman at a dinner party who recently tried to enlist him in her friend’s quest to keep her dating hopper filled with new men:

“Do you have any normal friends for my friend to date?”

Vaguely confused by the hasty presumption that I was a dating sourcer, but detecting an opportunity for a silent manosphere laugh, I replied “you’d have to tell me more.”

“Well, she’s been dating guys from OKCupid and says she just can’t find any normal guys there.”

Now I was irked. It would have been one thing if she said her friend worked long hours with all women and just wasn’t meeting men, or had had trouble getting back on the carousel horse after a breakup. 

But she’s swimming in men and is striking out wildly. 

And I happen to know that a significant portion of the young men in my city are on OKCupid, so I know there’s a few good fish in that pond.

As Badger points out, the woman is presuming quite a lot in expecting a stranger to fix her friend’s dysfunctional dating strategy:

The fact that she saw me as a possible conduit for her issue of the day smacked of a combination of megalomania and an appeal to the male instinct for problem-solving – “maybe you can help me fix this!” 

Expecting me to leap into the coat closet and re-emerge in my Captain Save-A-Ho suit, ready to line up cannon fodder for her chica amiga who couldn’t generate her own romantic sales leads.

What strikes me even more is the widespread denial of the larger issue.  Once a woman sets out with a strategy other than one and done marriage, she all too often becomes a ravenous beast with a need to constantly fill her hopper with more men.

Most of these men will be either outright rejected or (worse) added to her stable of beta orbiters.

Strip mining machines are typically stuck for life in the very pits they create.  While younger prospectors are starting up in rich ground, as a strip miner for men ages she ends up forever reprocessing less and less promising tailings.

Eventually nearly all of the most promising ore has been lost forever in an unintended environmental impact or has been snapped up by more astute miners. 

Even if she does come across a promising nugget, the years and hard mining operations have taken their toll;  her battered sluice box can no longer even slow down most nuggets, let alone retain them.

This is why if you come across a site focused on single women (or single mothers), there is a never ending obsession with feeding the hopper.  More men.  More men.  Must find more men.  Anyone and everyone is enlisted in the obsessive task of devouring through mountains of men in an attempt to relive the glory days of their early mining experience.

To be fair, the constant need for new romantic prospects isn’t limited just to choice addicted women in today’s Sexual Marketplace (SMP). 

Those men who find themselves repeatedly in the first 2-3 stages of the strip mining operation have little choice but to look for new hoppers to throw themselves into. 

Some men have figured out the business of dealing with strip miners, and deliberately set out to play the role of hookup, fling, and (as part of a soft harem strategy) boyfriend.  A much larger group of men unwittingly end up playing the role of forever scraped aside top soil, beta orbiter, and the sucker who chivalrously pays for dates with the miner while she has sex with rockbanddrummer for free.

But either way there is a critical qualitative difference.  Those men who are setting out for a life of sexual variety are very honest about the moral and practical reality of their choice and the continuing need for new ore in the hopper. 

They aren’t pretending to be seeking the one, and therefore don’t need to lie to themselves and others about the nature of their operations. 

As a result, they are able to come up with effective strategies to keep operational costs down and efficiently retain as much of what they are seeking for as long as possible.

It is worth noting that the entire process is often mistaken for something more quaint due to the denial at the core of the operation.  Strip miners work hard to associate themselves with the romantic image of their grandmothers and even sisters who spent a few years in their late teens and early twenties carefully panning for a husband. 

Finding a proper husband is no small task, and many women still quietly take this seriously. 

They understand that devouring mountains is counterproductive, and instead work to locate rich areas to prospect and carefully sift to avoid discarding the prize or falling for the flash of fools gold. 

They don’t attract the attention of the much more visible strip miners because they aren’t devouring mountains, and when they think they have found a good prospect they aren’t about to tip their hand to other miners.

Wise prospectors also understand the vital importance of holding on to their gold once they find it.

Conclusion

It’s a cute story and great narrative about dating.

All men, who have endured a divorce and then were thrust back into the later-life dating scene, has experienced these kinds of gals. Oh not everyone is out there strip-mining for men. Maybe only one in ten. But they are out there.

And it is sad.

In certain ways it’s like the little kid that that uses up a box of tissue to clean his nose. One after the other. Pull out, wipe, and then discard. Over and over again. Not paying attention that the box is running out and the fresh clean tissues are all used up.

Nothing is better in the world than having relationships.

That is with men, with women, with associates, and with colleagues. Relationships are what adds color to our lives and depth to our souls.

I, for one, have a very large and healthy collection of friendships. It was one of the things that I set out to do when I moved to China. It turns out that most people like food, many like to drink and a large percentage love music and playing around. Sure beats staring into a blue glow of a computer monitor late at night.

Men, women, we all need each other.

Don’t be a lone-wolf. Be part of something bigger.

Do you want more?

I have more posts in my Happiness Index here…

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