Andy’s Aunt Bee was famous for her most excellent pies.

Escapist entertainment during a time of stress; some suggestions.

This is a very stressful time that we are all enduring. many stores and factories are closed, and many people are locked inside their homes. No one is sure when the prohibitions will be lifted, or what they will do to catch up with their bills.

It’s the COVID-19 SHTF event.

The thing is, that when we try to turn on the internet for escape we are blitzed with a combined narrative; it’s either [1] hate-China or [2] fear-the-corona-virus. I mean can’t we get a break? Why does the US government feel the need to constantly and incessantly manipulate the media and try to control us all. Can’t they just take a holiday, or something?

Jeeze!

Well, I am not the government, and I do have some suggestion of what you all can do. So, here I provide some thoughts on what you can do to escape from this nightmarish assault.

Let’s start with a list of some movies and television shows. Shows that you can use to pull up interesting escapist entertainment to look at.

Now, rather than list well known movies, or the latest in special effects, instead I have decided to put together a list of 1980’s feel-good movies, and 1960’s – 1970’s forgotten comedies. The key driver here is “overlooked” and / or “forgotten”. (With the first one being “unknown” to anyone under 50 years old.)

I do hope that at least one movie or show listed here will remind you of some pleasant memories . And that maybe… maybe, you would use my suggestion as a seed to take you on a trip. A trip far away from the current frustrations of modern locked-up life.

We start with a pretty well-known movie. At least well-known to my generation.

The newer generations not so much.

Though, you would be surprised at how many people under the age of 30 never heard of it. Which is a shame. The movie is a classic and it’s all about growing up with your first heart-pounding crush…

Sixteen Candles (1983)

Climax of the movie when Samantha gets her birthday wish.
Climax of the movie when Samantha gets her birthday wish.

The tale is classic. American teenager Samantha (Molly Ringwald) is despondent that her entire family has forgotten her sixteenth birthday. You know, being so caught up are they in the wedding of her sister. Now, Samantha has a crush on a classmate of hers. He’s Mr. Bo-Hunk; Jake Ryan (Michael Schoeffling), and she wrongly thinks he has no interest in her.

Oh, but we do find out what happens…

This John Hughes film is one of the best romantic teen comedies in history. 

Starring 2 of the Brat Packers, Molly Ringwald, playing the lovesick Samantha, and Anthony Michael Hall who plays "The Geek", he practically stole the entire movie with his one-liners. 

His friends were the best, it's funny to see John Cusack as one of his geeky friends, and I just noticed Joan Cusack makes a small appearance in this as the girl with the neck brace on. That's funny. 

I recommend this classic to anyone who likes romantic teen comedies. 

Oh and whoever said that "Sixteen Candles" was perverted, all i have to say is WHAT? What is perverted about this movie, American Pie was perverted, this movie is a classic. There was ONE scene of nudity and it lasted about 3 seconds. I give "Sixteen Candles" 10 out of 10!!!!

- LittleRascal-15

Matters are not helped by a party that evening at school, at which much mayhem breaks out, nor by the chaotic wedding day itself.

"They Fucking forgot my birthday!!!"... 

These are the immortal words spoken by SIXTEEN CANDLES heroine Samantha Baker (Molly Ringwald) in the ultimate 80's teen comedy. 

This movie has become a classic to those born in the 70's, like myself, and I now consider it a "guilty pleasure". Its a movie we all grew up with. 

Didn't we all know a person like 'Farmer Ted', or a hot queenie like the blonde he hilariously gets. It was every young freshman's fantasy. This funny flick is also a relic of the 80's that is not all that dated.

The jokes still work (as long as you see it uncut) and it is neat seeing things of the not so distant past be on display. Floppy disks, headgears, leotards, etc... 

Time has not been so good to the featured stars. Ringwald and Anthony-Michael Hall, who was born to play this role, and this one only, have all but disappeared. The biggest stars now are blips on the screen here: Joan (in a headgear) and John (a geek) Cusack. The film is like a toy you can't put away.

Some situations are beat, but at least Paul Dooley adds an extra dimension to the father. Too many of John Hughes' teen-angst comedies of the era feature tissue-thin parental figures. 

This was the first and best of the so-called "brat pack" movies, and will always hold a place in 1980's filmmaking history. Girls learned never to lend their underwear to a geek and we all learned that high school is just a phase, easily forgotten as time goes on.

-Don-10229 March 1999

Now, maybe you have already seen that movie ten or twenty times and do not care to re-watch it. No problem.

Seriously.

No problem.

Maybe get yourself a nice bag of chips. Pour it into a nice big bowl and grab yourself some beer, or like me… a nice glass of wine. (Just a reasonably cheap red will do.)

Relax.

Stop allowing the “news” and those that control it and the internet to control you.

Some Lays potato chips that I bought. The Chinese really like all these odd kinds of flavors. This particular flavor is a white grape drink soda drink flavor.
Some Lays potato chips that I bought. The Chinese really like all these odd kinds of flavors. This particular flavor is a white grape soda drink flavor. Who figures? Eh? For me it was a cross between Korean style barbecued squid with Hunan spices or plain “American style” potato chips.

So, now that you have some fine tasty chips… a nice beverage of your choice, and (hopefully) a companion or two (can be a loved one, a trusted pet, or some children), settle down to some friendly escapist enjoyment.

I'm drinking red wine, so I think that it could be paired quite nicely with a white grape soda flavored potato chip.

With that being said, how about a feel-good television show.

I really like the world of Mayberry RFD. Nothing ever seems to go wrong in it. Seriously, nothing bad or really serious ever happens in it short of a cat getting stuck in a tree, or an arrest for a broken tail light.

It’s all just good, safe escapist enjoyment.

The Andy Griffith Show

The Andy Griffith show.
The Andy Griffith show.

This sitcom was spun-off from an episode of The Danny Thomas Show. In that show, Danny Thomas was arrested in a small North Carolina town. The character of the small town sheriff turned out to be so popular that they made a complete show around him.

Of course, named “The Andy Griffith Show”, and focused on Sheriff Andrew Jackson Taylor in the small town of Mayberry.

Andy Taylor was a widower with a young son (Opie) and the pair of them lived with Andy’s Aunt Bee – famous for her most excellent pies.

Andy’s Aunt Bee was famous for her most excellent pies.
Andy’s Aunt Bee was famous for her most excellent pies.

Crime in Mayberry was of the distinctly petty variety and much of the comedy centered around Andy, his family life and working life especially with his somewhat stupid deputy (and cousin) Barney Fife.

Andy wouldn’t allow Barney to load his weapon for fear he would shoot his own feet off! He allows him to carry a solitary bullet (usually in his left shirt pocket).

Throughout the show’s run, Andy had two love interests – the first was druggist Ellie Walker, and then later schoolteacher Helen Crump whom Andy ended up marrying in 1968.

Sheriff Andrew Jackson Taylor

When Andy Griffith decided to call it quits with the show it was still popular and the network decided to carry it on under the new name of Mayberry RFD with Ken Berry in the lead as councilman Sam Jones.

Also a most excellent show.

Griffith helped with the change over by appearing in the first episode (it was in this episode that he married Helen and the pair then moved away from the town).

A typical day in Mayberry with Andy and councilman Sam Jones.

I know. I know.

Mayberry RFD is more about hotdogs and hamburgers instead of potato chips. It’s a show about mowing lawns on hot July afternoons, pitchers of icy lemonade on shady porches, and tree-houses that hide in the back yard. It’s about comic-books, airplane models that hang from the bedroom ceiling, and classmates that you play baseball with. It’s about watermelons and fresh buttered corn on the cob.

And I really do emphasize. I really do.

Maybe something along these lines, eh?

What's life without a nice tasty home-cooked hamburger?  Not much, I'll tell you what. Hey!  How about taking notice of that nice beer in the background...
What’s life without a nice tasty home-cooked hamburger? Not much, I’ll tell you what. Notice the cheese! (No tomatoes, though. Bummer.) But hey! How about taking notice of that nice beer in the background…

Oh, and speaking of hamburgers and beer…

F Troop

This is just a fun silly television series that I used to watch when I was in elementary school. LOL.

But now, after decades of the rigors of Life, I have come to appreciate it’s silliness. And yes, silliness has an important role in our lives. If you disagree with me, then leave. You can go ahead and split up your time between CNN and the weather channel.

As an aside, American Airports have non-stop CNN coverage, or the Weather Channel. Chinese airports have silly light slapstick entertainment, Mr. Bean style. Why do you think that the two philosophies are so different?
F Troop
F Troop

This show is a military farce about the gallant incompetents of F Troop. It all takes place at “Fort Courage” way back in 1866 Kansas. This was an interesting time period, being the final days of the Civil War.

The CO was the wide-eyed, bumbling Captain Wilton Parmenter (Ken Berry). You see, he had been promoted from Private during the last days of the war. Imagine that! Private to Captain. What did he do, you ask? Well, he accidentally led a charge towards the enemy with a sneeze that sounded like “Charge!”

The episodes were fun and creative.

V Is for Vampire

Count Sforza, an emigrant from Transylvania, arrives in town. He comes in a hearse, has pale skin and has a crow he calls "Brother." The men of F-Troop suspect he may be a vampire, given the count's tendency to say, "Good evening," regardless of the time of day. When Jane can't be found, O'Rourke, Agarn and the Captain decide to check out Sforza's spooky mansion.

Bill Koenig

Reveille is played at 10 am “because of the three hour time difference” and that even though rations and pay allotments are drawn for 30 men, only 17 are stationed at the fort (the other 13 are allegedly “Indian scouts out on patrol”). LOL.

Perhaps the United States government were taking notes, eh?

Unbeknownst to the captain, Sgt. Morgan O’Rourke (Forrest Tucker) had already negotiated a secret – and highly profitable – treaty with the Hekawi Indians. These Indians were led by Chief Wild Eagle (Frank De Kova) from whom he also had an exclusive franchise to sell their souvenirs to tourists via O’Rourke Enterprises.

The treaty benefited both sides. This is because it permitted the Indians to trade and upgrade their living conditions, and the troops to maintain the illusion that they were involved in a deadly land war. While all the time no one was actually in danger.

The only flaw in this otherwise happy arrangement was the troublesome Shugs, a genuine war-mongering tribe (with whom there was no peace treaty) who occasionally went into action.

F Troop is a happy, go-lucky television comedy that would NEVER be permitted to air in today's modern progressive America.
F Troop is a happy, go-lucky television comedy that would NEVER be permitted to air in today’s modern progressive America.

Corporal Randolph Agarn was O’Rourke’s chief aide and assistant schemer and Wrangler Jane the hard-ridin’, fast-shootin’ (and very scrumptious) cowgirl who ran the post office and was out to marry Parmenter.

Other soldiers in the troop included Hannibal Dobbs, the troop’s bugler – who couldn’t play the bugle – and Troopers Duffy and Vanderbilt.

A lot of colourful Indians passed through the Fort in one-time special appearances. Some of those included Wise Owl (Milton Berle); Roaring Chicken (Edward Everett Horton); 147-year-old Flaming Arrow (Phil Harris) and Bald Eagle (Don Rickles).

LOL.

Other special appearances included Sgt. Ramsden (Paul Lynde) and Wrongo Starr (Henry Gibson).

F Troop was an entertaining enough production which, in similar dubious taste to Hogan’s Heroes made light of a deadly serious period of history.


Let’s look at a movie.

Maybe television shows aren’t your thang, eh?

Well, let’s go and check out a teenaged boy science fiction movie from the 1960’s. It’s got all the elements of boyhood dreams. the title says it all… adventure, shipwrecked, on a lone desolate place… Mars!

And it’s got a monkey!

But first, movies like this remind me of food. They really do. Often, as a boy I would go raid the refrigerator and heat up some leftovers that were sitting inside. I would use the microwave rather than the stove, and there were always some good delicious leftovers. Back then, in the 1960’s the US dollar was still worth around twenty five cents, and middle class families could afford to eat. Not like today where it’s actual value is a fraction of a penny.

I would often make up a sandwich from scraps that I would pull out of the refrigerator.
I would often make up a sandwich from scraps that I would pull out of the refrigerator.

Anyways, I would pull out some pork-chops and applesauce, or maybe some meatloaf (and make a sandwich from it), or perhaps some left over lasagna. I would hurriedly scramble and whip up a quick meal with the commercials were rolling…

Of course, more often than not, I would just end up making a “Dagwood” or a hoagie out of all the fixings in the fridge.

Anyways, back to the movie…

Robinson Crusoe on Mars (1964)

Robinson Crusoe on Mars (1964)
Robinson Crusoe on Mars (1964)
"Special-effects wunderkind and genre master Byron Haskin (The War of the Worlds, The Outer Limits) won a place in the hearts of fantasy film lovers everywhere with this gorgeously designed journey into the unknown."

Robinson Crusoe on Mars tells the story of US astronaut Commander “Kit” Draper who must fight for survival when his spaceship, Elinor M, crash-lands on the barren wastes of Mars.

Oooh…

The story begins with the Elinor M orbiting Mars on the first official probe to test the planet’s gravity. Aboard are Draper, Colonel Dan McReady (Batman‘s Adam West) and Mona (The Woolly Monkey), a monkey, space suited for medical research.

The perfect mix of period science fiction for pre-teen boyhood dreams.
The perfect mix of period science fiction for pre-teen boyhood dreams.

McReady and Draper suddenly realize that their craft is on a collision course with a giant meteor. Yikes!

In a split-second evasive action, the spacecraft swings too far off course and is dragged inexorably down by the gravitational pull of Mars.

McReady and Draper separately abandon ship with McReady taking charge of Mona.

Despite its retro rockets, Draper’s ejection capsule crashes on landing, wrecking the craft and leaving food and water for only a few days. Exhausted, Draper falls asleep only to wake up suffocating for lack of air. Without oxygen, he can sleep only an hour.

The true hero of the movie; the spacesuited monkey Mona.
The true hero of the movie; the space-suited monkey Mona.

Draper sets out to find McReady but in his search only locates Mona. With no more than a few hours oxygen, Draper seems doomed.

Lightheaded, he passes out but is miraculously saved when little yellow rocks, burning and giving off bursts of gas, revive him. This gas is pure oxygen and Draper devises a method to feed the oxygen into his regular tank.

Imagine that! Little yellow rocks…

Several weeks later, a spacecraft appears over Mars and then lands.

Draper, sure he is being rescued, runs to the ship only to discover that it is not from the USA or even the Earth. Watching the ship, Draper suddenly sees a figure detach himself and run in his direction. The two face each other warily.

A stranded astronaut recording his audio diary within a martian cave. Wait until you see the alien. He looks like something out of per-Aztec Mexico. LOL.
A stranded astronaut recording his audio diary within a martian cave. Wait until you see the alien. He looks like something out of pre-Aztec Mexico. LOL.

Gradually, Draper allays the fears of the newcomer and they settle down for the night.

With the arrival of the newcomer – who Draper jokingly dubs Friday – his worst problem, loneliness, has gone. Slowly, over the months, Draper teaches Friday English, and together, wondering if they will ever be rescued, set out to explore the Martian terrain.

Not a movie that will leave you wondering about life. Not so much.

It’s just a silly enough pre-adolescent movie for young boys that was written int he 1960’s. But, you know what? Maybe that’s what we need right now. Maybe we need to “escape” and forget our life for a spell. To give us a break and to relax our minds somewhat.

Now, as a man, I prefer other (ahem) more adult pleasures.

Manly adult pleasures.
Manly adult pleasures.

Beer, wine and VSOP can help. But you know, if you don’t watch out it could consume you instead. So I would recommend just some lighthearted escapist shows and movies. Nothing too serious or upsetting.

Oh, and enjoy with something delicious to eat.

Newhart

If you have lived through the 1980’s then you knew all about Newhart. This show as a hoot!

The cast of the television show "Newhart".
The cast of the television show “Newhart”.

In this series, Newhart played Dick Loudon, a writer of “how-to” books who moved from New York to Norwich, Vermont to realise his dream of running a country inn. His smart, funny, and sexy wife was named Joanna (played by Mary Frann).

As with Newhart’s previous comedies, there were numerous quirky supporting characters. Tom Poston (who had been a frequent guest on the earlier show) was the inn’s unhandy handyman, George Utley, and Julia Duffy played the vain and spoiled Stephanie Vanderkellen (an heiress working as a maid at the 200-year-old Stratford Inn – Stephanie replaced her less interesting cousin, Leslie, after the first season).

Stephanie’s boyfriend, Michael Harris (Peter Scolari), was an insufferable 1980s yuppie and producer of a local TV show, Vermont Today, which Dick began hosting a few years into Newhart’s run.

Perhaps the most memorable, and certainly the most unusual, characters were three bizarre backwoodsmen, of whom only one ever spoke (until the final episode).

Larry, and his brother Darryl, and his other brother Darryl.
Larry, and his brother Darryl, and his other brother Darryl.

“I’m Larry, this is my brother Darryl, and this is my other brother Darryl,” was their stock introduction. They could always be counted upon to enjoy any activity that would disgust most people.

The trio of backwoodsmen known as Larry, Darryl, and Darryl actually made their first appearance in the series’ second episode. Dick hired their “company,” Anything for a Buck, to unearth the 300-year-old body of a woman buried in the Stratford Inn’s basement. The audience’s reaction to the brothers did not go unnoticed by Newhart and co-creator Kemp, and they were one of the first additions to the regular cast when Newhart underwent a makeover after season two.

-13 fun facts about the Newhart show.

William Sanderson, who played Larry, graduated from Memphis State University with a BBA and JD, but the acting bug bit him before he sat for the bar exam. Despite this educational pedigree, Sanderson remained very much a good ol’ Memphis boy at heart. While working on Newhart he sipped Jack Daniels and read the Bible in his dressing room between takes, and he constantly chewed tobacco. He had a habit of leaving his spittle cups all over the set, to the disgust of his co-workers.

Tony Papenfuss (First Darryl) and John Voldstad (Second Darryl) are both classically trained actors who had years of stage experience on their resumes when they landed their Newhart parts. Both actors’ agents actually advised them against accepting the roles, since they were non-speaking parts.

Newhart is a classic piece of 1980's television. It described America leading up to the Bill Clinton Presidency and thus was free of all the political correctness mumbo-jumbo that followed it.
Newhart is a classic piece of 1980’s television. It described America leading up to the Bill Clinton Presidency and thus was free of all the political correctness mumbo-jumbo that followed it.

Everyone in town sold their property to a Japanese corporation, and the finale included a parody of Fiddler on the Roof, and ended with Newhart waking up in bed with Suzanne Pleshette and explaining that he’d had a very strange dream (a tongue-in-cheek reference to the famous 1986-87 season of Dallas.)

Best Episode - Season 6 
Episode 121: “Take Me To Your Loudon” (Aired: 10/26/87)
It's Halloween, and the townspeople believe the town is about to be invaded by aliens.

A beloved excursion, many fans cite this installment as their very favorite of the entire series. They’re also likely to use it in evidence of the show’s supposed bent towards the surreal.

You see, this story doesn’t totally forsake logic — it just asks that we find it in the broad, heightened, and not all together relatable depictions of some of the characters. That‘s the reason that it’s hard to believe and thus seems “surreal.” 

It's Halloween and the Stratford is having a costume party, Michael has the station run the film "War Of The Worlds (1953)" on TV and the townsfolk believe they are being invaded by aliens from outer space.

A hilariously funny episode, in the top five best in the series. The laughs are non stop, George is the Cowardly Lion from "Wizard Of Oz', Dick the Tin Man, Joanna is Vampira, Michael dresses as a Canadian Mountie and Stephanie (naturally) is a princess. Harley shows up and tells about the invasion when he sees the movie on TV. Michael sees a chance for the same kind of panic Orson Welles caused with his radio version of "War Of The Worlds". Dick tries to be the voice of reason to the wacky towns people but they just accuse HIM of being from outer space! And Larry, Darryl and Darryl show up with their funniest introduction ever.

I think it represents the era most accurately, and, as such, is the most valuable.

And now, while we are at it, for another classic 1980’s movie…

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (1986)

Ferris Bueller takes a day off from school.
Ferris Bueller takes a day off from school.

Ferris Bueller (Matthew Broderick) is a born con artist. When he’s not talking a mile a minute to his girlfriend Sloane (Mia Sara) and his best friend Cameron (Alan Ruck), he’s stepping aside, facing the camera and addressing the audience.

In his dedication to the joy of loafing, Ferris convinces his parents he’s ill, the student body starts raising money to save his life with a kidney transplant, and the dean of students thinks all sorts of people are dying.

But Ferris isn’t dying. He’s just lying, and it’s the ninth time in the same semester.

He convinces Cameron to ‘borrow’ his father’s irreplaceable 1961 red Ferrari, and then swing by school to kidnap Sloane.

A large part of the film (directed by John Hughes) is then devoted to elaborate schemes designed to keep Ferris and his pals out of school: Answering machines are fixed, a fake body run by strings attached to a doorknob rolls around in Ferris’s bed to fool concerned and nosy parents, a sickbed message is recorded through a loudspeaker to answer the doorbell and deter inquisitive truant officers.

While the kids are bulldozing their way into an expensive restaurant, catching a ball game at Wrigley Field, and staging their own musical production number from Grease in the middle of a mysterious parade the principal – determined to catch Ferris red-handed – slinks around like a CIA agent on secret manoeuvres.
While the kids are bulldozing their way into an expensive restaurant, catching a ball game at Wrigley Field, and staging their own musical production number from Grease in the middle of a mysterious parade the principal – determined to catch Ferris red-handed – slinks around like a CIA agent on secret manoeuvres.

Hold the phone . . . if it’s a holiday, with floats and marching bands and 10,000 extras, why does anyone need to play hooky from school in the first place?

Brat-packer Charlie Sheen appears in a side-splitting cameo role as a drugged-to-the-eyeballs boy that spiteful sister Jeannie encounters at a police station. To get the necessary spaced-out effect, full method acting would have been a step too far, but Sheen did keep himself awake for 48 hours before the scene was shot. LOL.

If life is far too serious for you now with the COVID-19 pandemic a raging, perhaps some good old-fashioned Ferris Bueller wisdom might be in order.

I do believe that we all need to take a lesson from Ferris Bueller in today's day and age.
I do believe that we all need to take a lesson from Ferris Bueller in today’s day and age.

Oh, and while I am on a 1980’s bender…

Weird Science (1985)

Weird Science (1985)
Weird Science (1985)

Triumphant geeks have always been a common theme of writer/director John Hughes, but that triumph was never achieved as raucously as it was in 1985’s Weird Science – a screenplay which took the high school movie guru just two days to write.

Among the feats of sex-starved no-hope geek boys Gary (Anthony Michael Hall) and Wyatt (Ilan Mitchell-Smith): vanquishing a psycho older brother, gaining popularity and acceptance at school, and best of all, getting the girls – both the computer-generated kind and the real kind.

With a little Frankenstein-type mission on the brain, Gary convinces Wyatt to sit down at his souped-up computer and go to work on an interactive onscreen lady friend.

But with the lightning brewing outside, the bras atop their heads and the Barbie doll hooked up to the hardware, it’s inevitable the boys take things a little too far . . .

Lisa, the Frankenstein creation of two 1980's nerds.
Lisa, the Frankenstein creation of two 1980’s nerds.

Behold Lisa (Kelly LeBrock). Named after the computer (the Apple Lisa) on which she was designed, she is beautiful, brilliant and capable of some treacherous hocus-pocus. She also does their washing, cleaning and cooking – feminists will loathe this film.

Lisa fast becomes the boys’ well-needed mentor of cool. She brings them to a steamy nightclub, where they’re instant hits with the regulars; she hosts a whopper of a party at Wyatt’s house, where her duties include freezing Wyatt’s absurd grandparents and dealing with the gang of killer mutants who crash the festivities.

Weird Science (1985)
Weird Science (1985)

But most importantly, she teaches Wyatt and Gary how to stand up for themselves – which in this case, means facing off against the gun-toting, wedgie-bestowing older brother Chet (Bill Paxton), and, as if that’s not bad enough, a beastly biker type (played by Vernon Wells, reprising his Mad Max 2 role).

It’s enough to say that in the end, everyone gets what they deserve.

With that geek-dream-come-true premise and a quirky, catchy theme song from Oingo Boingo, Weird Science quickly became a favorite of the timid and nerdy. It is all 1980’s and it WILL carry your back to another time and place.

I know, I know…

Too many 1980’s flicks.

You all probably thought that I was going to give you REAL GENIUS (1985), and indeed I was. Nothing quite says the 1980’s more than this movie. For some reason it just carries me back… way back to that time. The music. The fashion. The “feeling”. Man, if you want to escape, nothing is better…

Ahhh Heck.

Real Genius (1985)

Female geniuses have bowl-cuts, no social boundaries and never sleep…

You can tell how dated this movie is. Instead of having a creme frappichino latte at a coffeehouse, the gang go ahead and drinks some beer and hamburgers together. man! Don't you just love it?
You can tell how dated this movie is. Instead of having a creme frappichino latte at a coffeehouse, the gang goes ahead and drinks some beer and hamburgers together. man! Don’t you just love it?

As a child of the 80s, I have a soft spot in my heart for creatively-executed movies from this period. At their worst, 80s movies become dated more quickly than films from nearly any other period in film history. At their best, 80s movies reflect the cultural undertones of an exciting time where humor and optimism were rampant in films despite the specter of cold war, the advent of AIDS and a rocky economy.

Oh, and did you know, dorm room closets are a fine place to put an entrance to a secret lair…

Terrific nostalgia trip down 80s memory lane - loved it! 
by heisenberg8313 November 2005

Had very fond memories of this film as a kid in the 80s. Still holds up even today. DVD widescreen format shows off how well directed this movie is. Val Kilmer is terrific as the genius slacker hero. The whole cast gel well together, and the dialogue is very sharp and well-written (reminded me of TV show Scrubs in places). Had me laughing out loud in many places - rare for a modern version like American Pie. Lots of tasty 80s musical montages scattered throughout. Something really likable and positive about this movie, leaves you feeling really good at the end. Highly recommended - really hasn't dated at all. An enjoyable trip down 80s memory lane!

Real Genius takes the happy, go-lucky optimism of the 80s and superimposes it on the grim topics of military research, cold war espionage and assassination. The movie is set in a west-coast college (see Caltech, Berkeley, Stanford) and makes full use of the hyper-intelligent, eccentric dialog you might expect in elite California academia.

Yup.

And eating hamburgers gives you very large breasts!

The sound track from Thomas Newman (Less than Zero, American Beauty and many others) is technically complex and involving and fits the movie perfectly.

In this classic 1980's movie, our heroes get to play with lasers and other cool things like popcorn.
In this classic 1980’s movie, our heroes get to play with lasers and other cool things like popcorn.

At times, the movie suffers from the usual poor depiction of science (see lame computer applications and some bad blue screen work on aircraft) and unbelievable scenarios (see water slide in lecture hall and ice sledding in dormitory). But we all know that top secret military computers use 6-character passwords…

Despite these forgivable breaches, the Neal Israel’s unique dialog is truly brilliant, the situational comedy is eccentric, and the humor is uplifting.

Getting even is a moral imperative!

Val Kilmer is outstanding in his portrayal of Chris Knight and I lament his departure from this odd and extremely intelligent form of comedy (See Top Secret) – Though Kilmer has been involved with “better” movies since, I don’t think he has ever been more genuinely entertaining.

One of the all time best 80's college movies 
by thirdi  3 November 2001

Val Kilmer is hilarious as a college genius on par with Einstein, but is more interested in partying and chasing girls. A new arrival to the campus, Mitch, is a brilliant 15 year-old whom Val takes under his wing and tries to get to loosen up and have a good time.

There are probably some important themes and ideas to analyze within this movie, but for me it's just an old-school personal favorite that I've seen about 100 times. Great 80's music soundtrack and funny performances. William Atherton is perfect as the self-important, snobby professor, and another highlight is Robert Prescott, who plays his butt-kissing, nerdy assistant "Kent".

A movie that asks the question, isn't life experience just as important for education, as classrooms and books? A very funny, fine film that is up there with "Animal House" in my opinion.
The bag guys get "their's". I love it. It's a good feel-good escapist movie that take you back to pre-Clinton America.
The bad guys get “their’s”. I love it. It’s a good feel-good escapist movie that take you back to pre-Clinton America.

I think this movie is a must-watch for anyone who enjoys science, comedy and the 80s genre, or for anyone who is planning on attending a technology school on the West coast. This movie may not depict reality, but it communicates a hopeful spirit we could all use more of in today’s world of harsh reality. Besides, Any problem can be solved with a catchy 80’s pop song and a montage.

Oh, and don’t forget, Jesus wants you to stop playing with yourself.


Ah, what can I say. The 1980’s was “the shit”. It’s great escapist clap-trap as it occurred at a time that predated all the political correctness nonsense of the Bill Clinton years, and the Military Empire building of the Bush years. It’s just a nice time capsule that will take you back to a time when people were not so easily offended and when people were ok with just being ok.

With that being said, I am going to offer up just one more 1980’s movie. This movie is a tad bit more obscure. Indeed finding it is near impossible, but OMG is it awesome.

Water (1985)

Water is a funny satire about West Indies-style politics and the decline of British colonialism. It is also a kind of raw smack in the face of commercialism and the media.
Water is a funny satire about West Indies-style politics and the decline of British colonialism. It is also a kind of raw smack in the face of commercialism and the media.

British comedy-writing legends Dick Clement and Ian La Frenais wrote this funny satire about West Indies-style politics and the decline of British colonialism in the Thatcher Era. Elements of the story were also inspired by the 1982 Falklands conflict (when Argentina invaded the British overseas territory in the south-west Atlantic Ocean).

An extremely funny film 
sxct16 June 2004

I am quite disappointed with the average for this film. I found it to be one of the funniest films I have ever seen. 

The cast is superb and the script, although not one of the best written, is filled with humor that was was made even better by the acting. It was filmed on the island of St. Lucia. 

It's a story of a company drilling for oil and accidentally discovers mineral water, a substance that is even more valuable than oil. But it is important to keep it a secret. Jimmie Walker, who I don't particularly like, plays the part of a radio dj and does it wonderfully. Michael Caine and Brenda Vaccaro are fabulous as is everyone else. 

Please give this film a chance. I think it might be one of those little surprises that come along every once in a while.

Set on a fictional Caribbean island (Cascara) owned by Britain but largely left to its own devices, the story centers around the discovery of a lucrative resource – the natural mineral water of the title – and the reaction of people on the island and other nations.

Location shooting for the fictional British Caribbean colony of Cascara took place in the real former British Caribbean colony of St. Lucia in the West Indies.

Water has a plot that is all over the place, but I have to admit the fact that the personal fights between the governor and his wife being broadcast all over the island really cracked me up.
Water has a plot that is all over the place, but I have to admit the fact that the personal fights between the governor and his wife being broadcast all over the island really cracked me up.
...of Houston Texas 
lavean on 13 December 2001

I thought this movie actually had some very funny and memorable lines...The characters are so stereotyped that they have all become caricatures...from the French Commandos on the beach who when they are breaking out their emergency rations are having the menu read to them by a Sergent who informs them that it will be "accompanied by an unpretentious St Emillion which will amuse even the most cynical palate"...the American Colonel who can't see the target for the Limbo dancers...when the guerilla mets the oil man he calls him a "Yankee capitalist imperialist...of Houston Texas", says the oil man extending his hand.

It was produced by George Harrison and has Ringo Starr, Eric Clapton and a lot of other name musicians involved in the soundtrack.

It has a nice way to spend an hour and a half. 

No it has no deep hidden meaning nor will it change your life or make a social statement...but then I watch movies as a bit of escapism...this is one I sought out to own and when it comes out on DVD will buy it in that format as well.

The stand-out cast features Brits Leonard Rossiter, Billy Connolly, Maureen Lipman and Fulton Mackay and Americans Valerie Perrine, Fred Gwynne, Ruby Wax and Jimmie Walker.

Jimmie Walker, everyone…

Jimmie Walker plays the sole radio DJ in the sole radio station on the tiny island. He's hilarious.
Jimmie Walker plays the sole radio DJ in the sole radio station on the tiny island. He’s hilarious.

The charity rock band featured at the end of the movie – The Singing Rebels – features George Harrison (whose Handmade Films produced the movie), Ringo Starr, Eric Clapton and Jon Lord (of Deep Purple).

OK.

Maybe you don’t have the attention span for a movie. So let’s look at a nice 1980’s television show. Something that will take you to a land far, far away.

Maybe a little too far…

Let’s look at the classic…

Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman

A small-town housewife struggles to cope with the increasingly bizarre and violent events unfolding around her. It’s a way that the media was preparing America for the Bill Clinton years.

Mary Hartman. Mary Hartman.
Mary Hartman. Mary Hartman.

Set in fictional Fernwood, Ohio, this deliriously demented serial focused on the beleaguered heroine Mary Hartman, an average American housewife. In the first season, Mary suffered the travails of mass murder, adultery, venereal disease, homosexuality, religious cults, and UFO sightings, before she finally succumbed to a nervous breakdown on a syndicated talk show.

Then, things start to get crazy…

Wow, what a bizarre show 
7 July 2000 | by A-Ron-2 

This was one of those seminal moments in television history, because the 70s seemed to be more open to experimentation and strangeness than certainly the 80s and definitely the 90s.

Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman was a show that was unclassifiable by any standard of TV today. Now, I haven't seen the show in about 15 years (I watched the whole series on tape at a friend of mine's back in the mid or late 80s), but I am sure that it would be just as bizarre and wonderful today as ever.

Martin Mull was brilliant as the psychopathic wife beater, Barth Gimble. I hope that TV Land or some other such channel will pick this show up, because I would really love to see it again.

A more insightfully absurd and comically astute series has not been made. Mix the daily grind of ALL MY CHILDREN, the experimentation of MONTY PYTHON, the self-absorbed and urbane existentialism of WOODY ALLEN and the offbeat quality of BLUE VELVET and you have MARY HARTMAN MARY HARTMAN.

Mary Hartman. Mary Hartman.
Mary Hartman. Mary Hartman.

I grew to love Mary Hartman’s kitchen (and other Fernwood locales) as if they were an extension of my own town and home. Too bad the show couldn’t have lasted longer than it did.

Candide in a consumer society 
melvelvit-1 written on 31 May 2008

A sharply satirical soap opera about a modern-day "Candide" (Louise Lasser) and the dysfunctional pre-fab Americana she inhabits. 

In the opening episodes (beginning 1/76), Mary has to contend with her impotent husband, indifferent daughter, pervert grandpa, hot-to-trot sister, and the massacre of a local family (along with their 2 goats and 8 chickens) but it seems the waxy yellow build-up on her kitchen floor subliminally affected the mass media-influenced Mary more than all the domestic drama combined. 

The absence of a canned laugh track can make viewers feel they're either losing their mind or experiencing a darkly comedic, penetrating pop-culture parody. Possibly both. I loved it then and I love it now!

For a brief period of time, somewhere around 9-11, I was fortunate enough to have viewed, for the first time in 20 years, the first episodes in which Mary is held captive by the guy who “killed the whole Lombardy family, two goats and six chickens”. And thus, from the vantage point of my 40s, I was finally able to really “get it.

Mary Hartman is one of the great emblems of the distress of the mid-20th century American woman. Her hair in childish pigtails while wearing those little girl dresses, Mary was an example of the overly-consumered, growth-stunted American housewife trying to function while in a semi-daze.

...The other thing that makes this tough on reruns is that Mary Hartman was so much a part of the 70's. What's hard to explain to people who weren't there, is how weird the 70's were. 

The whole country was in this very odd mood, partly giddy, partly freaked out, partly numb. 

I don't know if I can explain how Mary Hartman fit in to that, but it did and maybe not enough time has passed where it won't seem dated. 

The other thing is that the show had a whole parallel life running at the same time in the live soap opera of Louise Lasser's sudden fame. Her personal trajectory towards a nervous breakdown tracked Mary Hartman's. 

Do I need to remind everyone of her bizarre interviews in Rolling Stone, her bust for cocaine, and her appearance as the host on SNL, in which she also had a nervous breakdown. 

Years later it came out that this was not faked, that she was ready to refuse to appear on the show minutes before curtain time, and only agreed to appear once Chevy Chase convinced her that if she didn't go on, he'd go on in her place wearing a wig.

-outnaway  9 March 2009
Mary Hartman. Mary Hartman.
Mary Hartman. Mary Hartman.

Her confrontations with adultery, contemporary feminism, and countless other social issues (often found within her own family) while trying to be the perfect little housewife and mother makes her eventual nervous breakdown more than just another crazy plot twist.

In actuality, it was an inevitable progression.

Compare her and her friends and neighbors to Carol Burnett’s Eunice and other 70s television characters like Edith Bunker and you’d have a rather fascinating college course, I think. Perhaps I need to put one together!

Remember when Loretta came over to bring Mary Jell-O with Cracker Jacks suspended in it?

So, for those of you who have a similar fondness for this groundbreaking, offbeat series and to those who have never seen it, here’s to bringing Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman back in reruns.

A demented,glorious, masterpiece 
coop-1616 February 2002

Truly one of the greatest-and least remembered -TV shows of all time.I loved this show back in the seventies. It was a rich tapestry of comic-and touching- characters, exemplified by the naive heroine, Mary Hartman,and her friends, perhaps most unforgettable of whom was would be Country Music queen,Loretta Haggers, played by the sadly underused -and brilliant-Mary Kay Place.

But then this show was rich in fine acting-Dabney Coleman, martin Mull, and Marian Mercer, among others.If the Comedy channel can rerun "soap" why cant they rerun this masterpiece?

I know that it is tough to decide.

Just go hop in the car, and go through a drive through and get a burger. Then on the way ponder which movie or television show to watch. I always find it easier to think on a full stomach. So have the burger and then settle down and choose one…

Burger King's Whopper.
Burger King’s Whopper.

Conclusion

When you are living in a stressful and uncomfortable situation, it is time to sit back, enjoy a frosty beer and disconnect. It will relax your mind and permit you to recover. Nothing is better than reliving times that pre-dated the chaotic life that Americans now live.

Pick your “poison”;

  • Sixteen Candles
  • The Andy Griffith Show (Mayberry RFD)
  • F-Troop
  • Robinson Crusoe on Mars
  • Newhart
  • Ferris Bueller’s day off
  • Weird Science
  • Real Genius
  • Water
  • Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman

Pick one. Rent it, torrent it, or Netflix it.

Get some food and drink.

Take care, and enjoy life. The coronavirus will pass. America will be changed and a new “normal” will manifest. In the meantime, relax.


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taminator013

A really great, but pretty much unknown teen comedy from that era is “3 O’Clock High”. Sci-fi (spoof) “Killer Klowns From Outer Space”. Steve Martin’s best (IMHO) “My Blue Heaven”. A really funny spoof of Robin Hood from the seventies by Mel Brooks, “When Things Were Rotten”. Too bad that it only lasted 13 episodes. At least you may be able to find it on DVD. Another favorite TV show of mine from back in the day was “Carter Country”. I can’t understand why it was never released on DVD or even VHS. Kind of like “Sgt. Bilko Meets In The Heat Of The Night”……………..

Rob

I do not & have not seen many recent movies or television dramas I guess for the last three years, except just to show them onscreen fro my son. Perhaps 10 movies. I cant bear to watch contemporary movies and television dramas as they all reek of pervesity, pornography, insanity, evil is good, dishonor, male bashing, woman is god, & we’re all gonna die because of climate change & the aliens will save us/kill us. I just don’t watch TV anymore. Like u say, why watch shit? SO, I still remember the good old days when movies were actually funny, and good people were heros at the end, and there was a “human” story. Like “On Golden Pond.” Even when you had risque immorality, at least it was a good movie, like “The English Patient.” I think everything started to go downhill after Star Wars – even tho as a kid I enjoyed it. BUt at least, good was good, and bad was definitely bad. And good guys always won – with a meaningful optinistic lesson. Now, everybody gets killed and we get gory murder scenes…. And we are told this is entertainment. Maybe it’s time for Jesus (or someone the world can agree to in entirety) to come back, and for us to be good again as real human beings. We live in moral shit hovels and we need to disconnect & make ife meaningful ourselves – or wallow in the filth like the others. Yeah, I know it’s a PTB discernment challenge test. So, I don;t watch anything that is produced for “mass entertainment.” I have so disconnected myself from the crap, that I would find it difficult to even watch your classic movies. But, I think one classic is always “It’s a wonderful life,” great message…. Sigh. PTB sets high standards for humanity….

Rob

I do not & have not seen many recent movies or television dramas I guess for the last three years, except just to show them onscreen fro my son. Perhaps 10 movies. I cant bear to watch contemporary movies and television dramas as they all reek of pervesity, pornography, insanity, evil is good, dishonor, male bashing, woman is god, & we’re all gonna die because of climate change & the aliens will save us/kill us. I just don’t watch TV anymore. Like u say, why watch shit? SO, I still remember the good old days when movies were actually funny, and good people were heros at the end, and there was a “human” story. Like “On Golden Pond.” Even when you had risque immorality, at least it was a good movie, like “The English Patient.” I think everything started to go downhill after Star Wars – even tho as a kid I enjoyed it. BUt at least, good was good, and bad was definitely bad. And good guys always won – with a meaningful optinistic lesson. Now, everybody gets killed and we get gory murder scenes…. And we are told this is entertainment. Maybe it’s time for Jesus (or someone the world can agree to in entirety) to come back, and for us to be good again as real human beings. We live in moral shit hovels and we need to disconnect & make ife meaningful ourselves – or wallow in the filth like the others. Yeah, I know it’s a PTB discernment challenge test. So, I don;t watch anything that is produced for “mass entertainment.” I have so disconnected myself from the crap, that I would find it difficult to even watch your classic movies. But, I think one classic is always “It’s a wonderful life,” great message…. Sigh. PTB sets high standards for humanity….

Rob

Wow, this brings back memories. This stuff is much better than the contemporary stuffthat’s on TV and movies these days. I hardly watch movies anymore – cant take the gore & violence. Thanx for the suggestions. Will look up old movies. Oh, this is Christmas novie time – Its a Wonderful Life. Really movin stuff. Everybody’s life matters – it’s just that many of us waste it…