Banks are closing, and the United States is grasping at straws, with the population absolutely clueless

In the 5 steps of the collapse of an empire, financial collapse is the first and most sudden to occur.

Next is commercial collapse. The physical flows of consumer products and services were disrupted because of the widespread bank failures. Trading partners become skeptical of the ability to make payments.

Political collapse comes as people progressively lose faith in their own government. Country begin to see signs of splitting with different ideas of how to move forward. Local forms of government spontaneously sprang up, to fill the void, often in partnership with organized crime for enforcement.

That's just the first three steps that we will likely see in our lifetime.

So there is a bank in the USA that failed.

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That is all over the “news”.

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What is also being reported is that this bank is where all the high-tech start-ups are funded. And because of this failure, of the bank, many start-up with more than $250,000 in deposit will lose it all.

What is not as widely known, is that many Chinese high-tech start-ups have also used this bank.

Screenshot 20230314 203728 com.tencent.mm
Screenshot 20230314 203728 com.tencent.mm

But WHY isn’t China reeling from this bank collapse?

Why is only the United States suffering from the collapse?

Perhaps…

That is because it was the Chinese start-ups, and depositors that decided to make a simultaneous bank run that shut down the entire kit and caboodle…

I have the e-mails / chats on WeChat and other platforms that alerted all Chinese in the United States to start pulling out of United States banks and close their assets. 

This flood of alerts occurred throughout China, after the American Congressional team returned from Taiwan...

I wonder…

Is it a coincidence?

Well, you all know what I think. Right?

Do not fuck with China, they will fuck you RIGHT BACK.

It's just another "1 + 1 = 2" moment.

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Let’s set up today’s theme…

“Sink China Warships,”: US General On Breaking Blockade Of Taiwan- Report

GeneralWilsbach said, "We've got to sink the ships," and recommended the US "amass firepower" in the region with the use of armed drones and added the Northrop Grumman B-21 Raider could be "helpful in our mission."

Taipei: Commander of US Pacific Air Forces (PACAF), General Kenneth Wilsbach said that the US must sink Chinese warships to break a blockade of Taiwan, reported Taiwan News.

While speaking to reporters at the Air and Space Forces Association Warfare Symposium in Aurora, Colorado on Wednesday, General Wilsbach said, “We’ve got to sink the ships,” and recommended the U.S. “amass firepower” in the region with the use of armed drones and added the Northrop Grumman B-21 Raider could be “helpful in our mission.”

General Wilsbach recalled that in response to former House Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s trip to Taiwan, China deployed ships off the east coast of Taiwan to act “as a sort of blockade,” reported Military.com.

Tensions started between China and Taiwan after the US House of Representatives Speaker Nancy Pelosi travelled to Taiwan in August.

China raised objections to Nancy Pelosi’s visit to Taiwan, which China claims as part of its territory. China announced military drills around Taiwan over Pelosi’s visit to the island.

General Wilsbach said the surface-to-air missiles mounted on the ships created an “anti-access/area denial engagement zone” that discouraged warplanes from other countries from entering for fear of being shot down.

Although Washington’s priority is to deter Beijing from invading, General Wilsbach said the military needs to have contingencies in the event China does attack Taiwan. He argued that if hostilities do break out, the first order of business is that, “We’ve got to sink the ships,” reported Taiwan News.

The commander said that sinking Chinese warships should not only be the main objective of the PACAF “but really anyone that’s going to be involved in a conflict like this.”

He stressed the need for the US and the militaries of friendly nations to plan and train together a great deal more, reported Taiwan News.

General Wilsbach said that many wings under his command are rehearsing the US Air Force’s tactic of spreading crews and aircraft across “many, many islands.”

China has enacted a long-term and flexible strategy for the self-governing island. This strategy involves periodic military exercises that amount to blockades, with a tighter military noose increasing the threat level.

Moreover, it sends the message that any large military exercise could quickly be the real thing – an indefinite blockade of Taiwan to starve it into submission.

Crossing Lost In Space with Star Trek. Blends well… with …coffee. Original Date of Posting: August 12,2018. From Facebook. Brilliant editing by Doug Fuchs.

https://youtu.be/m85TCDypp50

Roast Beef Pita Sandwiches

Yield: 4 servings

IMG 9015
IMG 9015

Ingredients

  • 1 cup plain nonfat yogurt
  • 1 1/2 teaspoons snipped fresh dill or 1/2 teaspoon dried dill weed
  • 1 teaspoon mustard
  • 1 cup chopped bell pepper (about 1 medium)
  • 2 (6-inch) pita breads, cut into halves
  • 1/3 pound thinly sliced lean roast beef
  • 1 cup alfalfa sprouts

Instructions

  1. Mix yogurt, dill weed and mustard; stir in bell pepper.
  2. Fill each pita bread half with 1/3 cup yogurt mixture and 1/4 of the beef and alfalfa sprouts.

Hollywood. LOL!

Not really like this. It’s actually instantaneous.

Fantastic Illustrations By Waldemar von Kozak

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d5pnh4s 78247fb0 c0f0 4611 929f 25c4faea3d65

Check out these fantastic illustrations from Russian artist Waldemar von Kozak. We love the surrealism at play here which seems to hint at dark, broad social commentary all through a pulp and noir or sci-fi lens. If anything, Kozak’s striking use of color and distortion of everyday objects and places are worth a look.

Follow Waldemar von Kozak on DeviantArt and website.

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spring job by waldemar kazak dc9ffiu fullview
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funny russian butchers by waldemar kazak d2er78g fullview
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Expectations vs. reality in Japan

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10 lies women tell their boyfriends

1. Go ahead, I already came.

Yeah, um, if she already came you wouldn’t need to ask – you would have heard it. Some women can climax without making noise but that takes a lot of practice. It’s like silent laughing – possible but unlikely. If you are banging your girlfriend and she’s made not a peep – she didn’t orgasm. Wanna test it? Go down on her and work her clitoris over with your tongue for 10 or so minutes, if she’s not bucking, moaning or screaming then you have a unicorn who can silently orgasm. Otherwise, she’s lying.

2. I’m fine or It’s fine.

I don’t know what you did but I can tell you something definitively it is so NOT fine. She is NOT in the least bit fine. I’d runaway if I were you because that is a ticking time bomb you are prodding for an answer and it will blow…just not you.

3. I’ll be ready in a few minutes.

Unless you’re dating a dude in disguise, she will not be ready in a few minutes. We say a few minutes when we mean an hour because it sounds better. We need to do hair, make up and multiple outfit try-ons. It feels like a few minutes to us because we are hauling ass, but the clock and your patience say otherwise.

4. Tell me I promise I won’t be mad or upset

Hahahahahahahahaha…don’t fall for that one. We are already gearing up to be upset. We’re trying to coax you into telling us something we know we don’t want to hear and we are ticked off that you just made us lie to you and promise to not get mad when you know we will.

5. Age/weight

We wear Spanx, corsets, tummy panels, control top everything and push-up bras and make up which includes concealer. Everything in our arsenal is geared towards lying about our weight and age. We use poses to make our social media pictures look 10 years younger and 20-50 lbs. thinner. If you marry us, you will know our age, maybe but you will never, ever know how much we weigh. Even at our thinnest we take 10-15 lbs. off the truth because those Spanx say we can.

6. I have no idea where I want to eat.

We have an idea, but we don’t want to say. We do know what we don’t want to eat, and we are happy to have you narrow it down for us by naming 35 places you could eat. While we just say no to every suggestion until you sigh and say the one place we both knew I wanted.

7. Do whatever you want.

Yeah, so this means we have no opinion and no woman on the planet has no opinion. Do not do whatever you want, it won’t end well.

8. Sure, you can go with your friends.

Nope, you cannot go with your friends. If you go with your friends it will be World War 3, do you want that? Better yet, if you do go with your friends, we will go with our friends – you know those chicks who hate your guts and want us to dump you. This is one of those lies that is a precursor towards vengeance.

9. I didn’t finish but that’s okay.

Dude, it’s not okay. The whole point of sex is the orgasm and not having an orgasm sucks. We don’t want you to feel bad or inadequate because we love you. That doesn’t mean you should just roll over and go to sleep. Just because you finished doesn’t mean you can’t finish us, you have a hand and a mouth – get in there and finish is off. Otherwise, the resentment will add up.

10. You are the best I have ever had.

We care about you and we don’t want to make you feel insecure or lacking in any way, so we will tell you that you’re the best even if you’re not. Plus, positive reinforcement works much better than shaming. We tell you that you’re the best and it will make you want to work even harder and get even better. You don’t need to be shamed about a lackluster performance any more than I need to be shamed for having a big rear end. If we shame your performance it will kill your self-esteem, if you shame my big butt I may lose it, but I’ll dump you when I do.

Absolutely yes.

I travel to my home country every two years and often to a lot of other western countries, it has become a recurring epiphany for me the feeling of how fast is China evolving.

In China, I access my home and even pick up my son from kindergarten using “facial recognition”, no keys or pass are needed … I just need to remember to wear my face.

While In China (if you can afford it) you will never cook again!… The array of food choices and products you can try is overwhelming. Everything can be delivered to your doorstep or even at your GPS location in no more than 15 minutes*. (*Depending on where you live/are)

In China you don’t need to bother about your ¨safety¨ or having your stuff stolen in the streets, any dark alley is just a dark alley… no dangers inside. Even if a theft ever happens to you, the bad guys can be tracked down through CCTV in a matter of hours and justice works. That’s very convenient and gives you peace of mind.

In China, bureaucracy is by default… but it works!. A lot of old school paperwork is being digitalized and most of the things can be done in seconds to minutes using an app, website or WeChat mini-programs. Everything is becoming paperless. I changed between 3 internet providers at no cost in the same week because as a consumer I have the right to choose the fastest service, right?.

Paying in China is beyond cashless. We all know how it works. Now we use our phones but in no time those will be all replaced by our own face print.

In China, moving around is absolutely convenient. Who needs to drive a car In big cities like Shanghai? The Metro System reaches practically everywhere in minutes, the service is clean, safe, frequent, punctual and cheap. Most of the lines are not crowded outside of peak time. High-speed trains rival airplanes as a ¨better choice¨ because they have a more comfortable and convenient process to board. There are multiple brands of bike-sharing systems in every city. There are also systems for sharing-umbrellas, sharing-battery chargers, sharing-EVCars, and sharing-everything-you-can–imagine for cents an hour… everywhere you go.

When you go to a restaurant in China, you can scan the QRCode pasted in your table, make the order in your phone and the food will come to your table in minutes (literally minutes… no 30 to 40 minutes like in any western country). In some places you rarely need to wait for the bill, you just walk out to the door and scan the WeChat or AliPay QRCode to pay… all done!.
China has a No-Tipping culture… which is very convenient, you pay the price you see in your bill.

In China, you can carry your half-drank smoothie or shopping bags from another shop in your hands when entering any business, a bank, a convenience store or a shop and nobody will push you out, give you a bad look or force you to drop it in a locker. You can even enter those places with your hat on (in many countries they won’t allow it because they doubt everyone!). I find the issue of ¨untrustiness¨ to be very disgusting and is a standard in many western countries (In Latin America, and some European countries especially). China is very convenient and relaxed in this matter.

In China, every new product you see as a novelty on the internet is available right away in the local market, something you can do in very few other markets around the world. Very convenient!

I could go on and on with the items. I’m not exaggerating or being paid to say this.

If you want to try the lifestyle just come to spend some time, it will be difficult to go back anywhere else… this is China in 2020.

She’s not a China lover. But it’s a pretty good video.

Bacon and Onion Bratwursts

Bacon Wrapped Bratwurst Photograph
Bacon Wrapped Bratwurst Photograph

Ingredients

  • 2 slices bacon
  • 2 medium onions, sliced and separated into rings
  • 1 medium green bell pepper, cut into strips
  • 1 tablespoon Dijon-style mustard
  • 4 links fully cooked bratwurst or knockwurst, or 4 frankfurters
  • 4 hot dog buns, split and toasted
  • Dijon-style mustard

Instructions

  1. In a large skillet cook bacon till crisp.
  2. Drain bacon, reserving 2 tablespoons drippings.
  3. Crumble bacon and set aside.
  4. Cook onions and green bell pepper in reserved drippings, covered, over medium heat about 5 minutes or till tender, stirring occasionally.
  5. Stir in the 1 tablespoon mustard.
  6. Score bratwurst 1/4 inch deep at 1 inch intervals; add to onion mixture.
  7. Cover and cook for 10 to 12 minutes or until heated through.
  8. Spread buns with additional mustard.
  9. Place bratwurst in buns.
  10. Top with onions and green pepper.
  11. Sprinkle with bacon.

15 People Facing Imminent Death Reveal Their Thoughts And Feelings As They Were About To Die

1. Disgustingly: that I didn’t care if those around me were killed just as long as I got out alive. The knowledge of that being my thought process at the time has haunted me my entire life.

I was in a national safari park at night in Zimbabwe with some friends on a school trip (aged around 15/16). We were told not to walk around at night because of honey badgers and other dangerous animals, but we wanted to go and see the watering hole at night so decided to ignore that advice.

So we start walking towards the watering hole in almost pitch black save a few lamps here and there. Halfway to the watering hole we heard a bush rustle around 5 meters from the path we were walking on, followed by an unmistakable lion’s roar. None of us either bother to look and all ran madly towards the watering hole where we know there’s a fence. I’ve never run so fast in my life. All I remember is being terrified I’d trip over my flip flops and wishing that the lion would go for one of the people behind me and not for me. It’s that final thought that fucks with me.

The next morning we went and saw that 2-3 meters from the path there was a fence that in the darkness we couldn’t see. Obviously the lion was directly behind the fence.

2. I’m a sex worker. Met the wrong kind of client. He raped me and beat the fuck out of me while telling me about the different places he was considering dumping my body. I was more resigned than I expected. For one I just wanted the pain to stop and I also thought how I’d just be another dead black hooker and no one would notice and it was as good an end to a shitty life as any.

Then he let me go. I’m glad not to have died by someone else’s hand, it is terrifying and lonely and thinking about it makes me want to puke, but it didn’t like, renew my love of life or anything. Sometimes I wish he’d just finished the job and be done with it. I know, I’m very ungrateful.

3. I fell down a rock face some years ago. It probably only took a few seconds tops but it felt like ages. My mind was racing, thinking what to do while simultaneously panicing so hard that I couldn’t do even the most basic thing..

That day I learned that when in mortal peril, I won’t have any bright ideas to save my life. I also won’t have any cool last words but I will let out a rather unmanly whimper.

4. Panic. Helplessness. The sense of doom was so great, there was no way the paramedics would get to me in time, it was a major heart attack. I just remember feeling like someone was sitting on my chest, I couldn’t breathe, and there was a sharp pain, but also a numbness. I couldn’t feel my left side so I wasn’t sure if it was a heart attack or a stroke, either way it was serious. I told my brother to make sure he’d take care of my kids.

Paramedics arrived, start taking vitals, everything’s elevated, but fairly normal. Not a heart attack or a stroke. I don’t see how that’s possible. Then they ask if I’ve ever had an anxiety or panic attack. I think they’re fucking with me, not taking me seriously, I mean…I’m dying and they’re telling me it’s just in my head.

Aaand that’s what my panic attacks feel like.

5. I fainted.

Flying off the highway after we hit a patch of ice. After we spun a few times and were heading for the edge of the highway and I knew that we were going off and that I was about to die, out I went.

Rolled a few times and landed in a snow bank. I came to hanging upside down, banged up a bit but still alive, much to my surprise.

6. I actually fell 20 feet at one point through a shoddy football stadium onto concrete. I basically slipped on nachos and went through an opening. Nowadays I know that people can survive that, but in my head as I was falling, everything was in slow motion and I thought “Man… This is a really stupid way to die”

7. I was about 10 years old and down at the beach with my brothers. The waves coming in were pretty decent, 2 foot at shore, 3 or 4 foot further out. My brothers were good swimmers so they headed straight out to the back with their surfboards. I was stuck on the 2 footers with a scrappy foam rectangle board.

I decided to try a bigger wave and instant regret set in. The board flipped forward knocking me off and the water was no longer shallow enough for my feet to touch the bottom. I tried making my way to shore but the water was pulling me back. Every time I surfaced I was met with a wave to the face and a mouthful of seawater. Every time I went under all I could hear was the peaceful blooblybloop sound you hear when cameras go under water with microphones. I was in full panic mode and was sure I would drown until I felt something under me pushing me to the surface. I couldn’t think and was still in survival mode clawing upwards to keep my head above water. As this thing under me kept pushing, I realized I was moving closer to the shore and suddenly the giant waves were now 2 footers again. That’s when I planted my feet into the sand and bolted to the shore crying my eyes out.

Turns out the thing under me was my brothers friend who had been at the beach. He told me he was under me trying to put me on his shoulders and my kicking made it much harder for him. He was only 2 years older than me but God damn of he hadn’t been there, I wouldn’t be here today probably.

8. Had a really shitty boyfriend in college start hitting me around the neck and head with a cat scratching post, the kind that’s just a pole on a heavy base. I remember hoping that he would at least call the police so that my mom would know what happened to me, and being scared that he would bury somewhere and lie about it so they would never find me. Then I blacked out and woke up in the shower. He tried to convince me that I had slipped and fallen.

9. I was ten minutes into a three-hour flight and seated in the back row next to the toilet. There was a huge bang, the lights in the cabin flickered and dimmed, the plane wobbled hard in the air, I could smell smoke instantly, and a near-deafening bad engine sound started up. I looked over at the flight attendant who was still strapped to the fold-down seat right next to me. She has a look of pure terror on her face. That’s when I knew I was going to die.

I was profoundly pissed off. I thought ‘Fuck – this is how I go – now?!’ I thought about all of the crap I made it through in life and really regretted that I wouldn’t get to continue that progress. I was mad that I was going to die when travelling for work. I thought about trying to text the people I love, but didn’t want to mess with the navigation systems of the plane in case there was some way we could survive.

We had lost an engine because we struck a goose. The plane turned around and returned to the airport easily and safely, as we still had three of four engines.

10. In January of 2015, I got caught on a burning public transit train. The fuse on the track had burnt out and we were waiting for the train to get power again so we could get moving. Then the whole thing suddenly went up in flames.

Everyone was panicking, but I remember sitting there thinking “I guess this is how I go.” Totally calm, absolute peace. It was in that moment that 18-year-old me was 100% okay with dying.

Someone managed to pry open an emergency exit and then the adrenaline kicked in, so I got out without any injuries, but looking back, I’m still a bit shaken by my response to the whole thing.

11. Thanksgiving dinner about 3 years ago I didn’t chew my food thoroughly enough from the excitement. Swallowed too big of a piece of meat and it got stuck. You don’t know its really stuck at first. I tried drinking water and the water was also stuck in my throat. Big “OH SHIT” moment. I get up while no one noticed and the water sorta spilled out of my throat on the way to the bathroom. Why I didn’t tell anyone or went somewhere by myself was beyond me as I wasn’t thinking straight. I tried sticking my fingers down my throat, hitting my chest, etc. and people started noticing. At this point, I’m like shit I can’t breathe, wtf, I’m going to die like this? Panic mode from everyone and I started losing my vision. Miraculously my girls uncle knew the Heimlich maneuver somehow and saved me. All the blood vessels around my eyes bursted, I looked like an owl. Good times at thanksgivings.

12. I was taken to hospital for extremely low blood pressure. The only thing I could think of was “wow, this is peaceful”. Had no idea how close to death I was at the time – ER doc later told me that if I had waited 20 minutes to come to the ER I would not have survived.

13. Relief. Comfort. I was happy. I tried to kill myself. I knew I was going to die. I knew it was over. What I didn’t know is that someone would find me soon enough that the doctors were able to bring me back after my heart and breathing stopped. I’m glad they found me. I’m glad I’m alive. Over 4 years suicide attempt free.

14. This is really going to hurt.

Nearly got burnt over when fighting a wild land fire back in 2012.

What happened was a flame front a few miles wide and a few draws away had enough wind and speed behind it that it closed that distance faster than we had anticipated. Essentially we got smoked out, had spot fires blowing up all around us, and hundred foot flame lengths coming out of the timber. Luckily we were able to find defensible spot to hold out on and wait a few hours for our exit route to stop being on fire.

Probably my closest call with burning to death.

15. I wanted my gilfriend at the time to know that I loved her so I kept asking for a piece of paper and a pen. I Was lying in the street with broken bones everywhere in complete agony, and all I Wanted to do was write down that I loved my girlfriend so she would know she was the last thing I was thinking of before i died. I was also thinking about how little I had done with my life.

16. “Man I’m so stupid”

Trying to save a drowning woman. She was big and panicking so she was pushing me down trying to keep herself above water. After struggling for quite a while I started to go under the water. All I thought about was my three young kids at home aren’t going to have a dad and I feel so foolish trying to save this lady. Weirdest feeling. I swam to the surface and we made one last push for the shore. Someone caught us halfway back, we both made it and I laid on the shore and vomited.

Chicago-Style Sausage and Peppers

Yield: 8 servings

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d20744ad903883f4a21b7dd55ae65075

Ingredients

  • 2 tablespoons corn oil
  • 1 large red onion, thinly sliced
  • 2 large yellow bell peppers, cored, seeded and thinly sliced
  • 2 large red bell peppers, cored, seeded and thinly sliced
  • 1/4 cup Jack Daniels Sour Mash Whiskey
  • 1/4 cup dark brown sugar, packed
  • 1 tablespoon chopped fresh thyme
  • Salt and pepper to taste
  • 8 spicy Italian sausages (4 ounces each), not hot dogs!
  • 8 good quality hot dog buns
  • 2 tablespoons reserved sausage grease or soft butter

Instructions

  1. Heat corn oil in large skillet and sauté the onions and peppers until tender and beginning to brown, about 10 minutes over medium heat.
  2. Add the bourbon and stir quickly until absorbed.
  3. Add the brown sugar and stir until the sugar melts.
  4. Season with thyme, salt and pepper. (Can be refrigerated for one week. Let come to room temperature before serving.)
  5. Char-grill the sausages until slightly blackened and cooked through.
  6. Brush the hot dog buns with a little sausage grease or butter and toast on the grill or under the broiler.
  7. Nestle a sausage in a bun and top with about 2 tablespoons of peppers and onions.
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I recently rediscovered this gem. My kid just loves it.

She grabs her bling bling and starts a dancin’.

The slow slide to destiny

International relations can be likened to a game of 3D chess. 

In this great game Putin, in the finest Russian tradition, or like Mr. Spock in Star Trek, is a grand master. 

I don’t believe the chess players in the U.S. State Department, such as Victoria Nuland (wife of the Robert Kagan mentioned above) and the other neocons who are at the helm, are quite at Putin’s level, but they had the great advantage of being able to make a series of aggressive moves (e.g., the series of NATO expansions and the 2014 Ukraine coup) before Putin was able (i.e., was strong enough) to make a counterplay in response. 

By comparison, the general run of media journalists, commentators and even supposed analysts are tiddlywinks players. 

-UNZ "Russia is back"

Ok, the peak of the event sequences for this phase of “bumpiness” has passed. We are an a momentary adjustment period. See? It wasn’t all that bad. just your fears screeching towards you, eh? Well, you will be fine. Just stay calm.

Let’s go this array of odds and ends at this particular point in time.

Spaceballs – They’ve gone into plaid

We start with a funny clip of a parody of Star Wars known as “Spaceballs”. It’s a Mel Brooks classic. I hope to remind everyone not to get too serious. It’s really cramping our happiness, don’t you know.

Cool find

2022 04 13 19 46
2022 04 13 19 46

US aircraft carrier & strike group to enter East Sea as ‘show of force’

North Korean news agency Yonhap quoted on Monday sources as saying that US nuclear-powered aircraft carrier USS Abraham Lincoln will access the international waters of the East Sea this week as a "show of force" movement to fend off any possible North Korean provocations. 

 The aircraft carrier along with a strike group will stay in the sea for about 5 days, Yonhap reported, adding that it will be the first incident of its kind since November 2017.  

The news agency quoted the spokesman for US Forces Korea, Lee Peters, as saying that "as a matter of operational security," he refuses to comment on the matter.
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2022 04 12 21 24
Article

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A strange find

1644842972 e46hz4jday
1644842972 e46hz4jday

Now for something funny…

Father of 5-year-old pterodactyl: It’s not easy to get species-affirming care in America

Don't be too serious, folks -MM

Local man and father of a 5-year-old trans pterodactyl Bradley Mingastank is struggling to find the medical care his young dinosaur son needs, as it is very difficult to find species-affirming care in the United States.

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2022 04 12 21 35

“Seriously, it’s 2022, and we still haven’t figured out how to provide adequate medical care to children who think they’re extinct flying lizards,” said Mingastank. “I do my best to raise my son Madison as a pterodactyl per his wishes, which is important for his self-esteem. I only communicate to him in ear-piercing dinosaur screeches, I feed him small rodents and fish, and every once in a while I push him off the roof of the garage so he can try flying. But no other doctors seem to be willing to help him get the ultraviolet heat lamps and lizard medicine his pterodactyl body desperately needs.”

According to sources within the family, Madison first discovered his true pterodactyl identity when he put on a Halloween costume and then refused to take it off. It was then his parents knew he was a dinosaur trapped in a human child’s body.

“According to science, If someone thinks they are something, then they are automatically that thing, and the whole world must pretend they are that thing or they’ll die. That’s just proven science,” said Mingastank as he called a veterinarian to set up an appointment for his son.

UPDATE: Madison has changed his mind and has decided he is now a sea lion. His parents are currently looking for a giant aquarium to keep him in.

Dracula meets Lucy Westenra – “Dracula: Dead and Loving It”

One of my favorite scenes. Funny but sensual. I really like those old 1960s style vampires and their attractive female companions.

How To Make 1950’s good wife’s guide

I found this. It's really very dated. I found it interesting, but I do not recommend that anyone follow the guidelines. Never the less, I do think that this is good advice for either mean or women in regards to talking to strangers, friends, or family.

Don't shoot the messenger. -MM
  • Food – Dinner

    Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have be thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they get home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.
  • Prep

    Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.
  • Be interesting and happy

    Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
  • No clutter

    Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Run a dustcloth over the tables.
  • Fire

    During the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering to his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
  • Peace and quiet

    Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet.
  • Welcoming

    Be happy to see him.
  • Smile

    Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
  • Listen

    Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
  • Be positive

    Don't greet him with complaints and problems.
  • No complaining

    Don't complain if he's late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through at work.
  • Comfort

    Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or lie him down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.
  • Shoes and pillow

    Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
  • No questions

    Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.
    Yes, it’s dated advice.
    .
    But if you look at it closely, just about all of the advice pertains to cats and their “owners”.
    .
    And you know, both of my grandparents were happy folk and had functioning families. Perhaps they knew something that we have forgotten over the years.

A very strange find

1644842968 77wxuhdy3j
1644842968 77wxuhdy3j

Reports: Chemical Weapons Dropped in Mariupol (False Flag???)

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Numerous reports are coming in claiming an unmanned aerial vehicle dropped some type of chemical or nerve agent against a target in Mariupol, Ukraine, killing several and injuring 100’s.

We have no OFFICIAL confirmation, but the reports are flooding-in anyway.

This could be the exact, precise, FALSE FLAG that the USA and NATO have been “warning” the Russians “might use” which could spark a formal NATO military response into Ukraine.

It was back on March 24 that NATO publicly stated a Chemical attack would prompt their intervention (Story HERE)

The headline to that story looked like this:

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2022 04 12 21 54

More info as it becomes available.   Check back.

UPDATE 4:59 PM EDT —

One (a single, isolated report) claims the following:

"Russian forces used a poisonous substance of unknown origin against Ukrainian military & civilians in the city of Mariupol, which was dropped from an UAV. The victims have respiratory failure and vestibulo-atactic syndrome."

Now, there are real problems with this report.

1) It does not say WHERE in Mariupol the attack allegedly took place.

The _only_ major fight zone where any type of chemical weapon would prove useful, is at Asovstal Steel Mill, where thousands of AZOV nazis are scattered through vast catacombs beneath the sprawling plant.  It is in these catacombs, where a reported Biolab exists, consisting of allegedly 8 full floors deep, all beneath the plant, and initial rumors (not confirmed) claim this lab was working on genetic-specific bioweapons in violation of treaties.

2) The decision to FLOOD those underground catacombs by using fire trucks to pump water into the air shafts, to force out the Nazis, was already publicly reported (Story HERE)

Thus, it makes no sense at all to turn around and use a chemical weapon or nerve agent against the very target they intend to flood-out.

3) NATO has been itching for an excuse to enter the war inside Ukraine, and has, on more than one occasion, said the use of chemical weapons would meet that excuse.

Interesting timing now that a Biolab has been proved to be under that steel mill, and if Russia successfully takes over that Biolab, they will find PROOF that the US and others were working on Biological weapons in violation of Treaties.  Or, worse, that they were working on race-specific bioweapons, designed to wipe out . . .  only . . . . Russians.

4) The report cites “vestibulo-atactic syndrome”

Pathogenesis

In the practice of a neuropathologist, the vestibulo-atactic syndrome is most often observed in patients with cerebral ischemia, when the brain receives insufficient oxygen because of a violation of blood flow.

The pathogenesis of this pathology includes the lack of blood flow in the vertebro-basilar system, which unites the vertebral and central (base) arteries of the brain, the violation of blood circulation in the brain stem structures, as a result of which their energy supply and connections with other parts of the central nervous system (CNS) are disrupted.

Stem brain formations are sensitive to hypoxia (oxygen starvation of systems and organs), which causes a large prevalence of vestibular-ataxic syndrome and also the variety of forms and manifestations of this pathology in cerebral ischemia.

The clinical picture can vary depending on the cause of the disease, age and condition of the patient. For example, in elderly patients, the disruption of the central part of the vestibular analyzer is often combined with the lesion of its peripheral part, which forms a peculiar picture of the pathological disorder.

This pathology – a combination of motor and vestibular disorders due to violations of the general and cerebral circulation. It is quite common, many of its symptoms have been noticed in itself, without giving them much importance. If, when walking, a person begins to feel dizzy, he throws from side to side, coordination of movements is disturbed – this is an occasion to immediately consult a doctor.

What constitutes a vestibulo-atactic syndrome and what are its causes we have figured out. What are the signs and complaints of patients that enable the neurologist to diagnose ataxia?

Ischemic disorders in the work of the brain are dangerous because in the early stages they can simply not be noticed, since the first symptoms that appear can correspond to various disorders of the patient’s health and condition. A person can simply not pay attention to individual cases of malaise. This makes it difficult to timely diagnose and treat diseases that are the companions of the vestibulo-atactic syndrome.

The first signs of the initial stage of the disease are:

  • Frequent dizziness, especially when walking.
  • Flicker and “flies” before the eyes.
  • Nausea and vomiting.
  • Headache.

In later stages, motor disorders appear:

  • Loss of balance.
  • Throwing from side to side.
  • Falls.
  • Involuntary twitching of the eyelid

Hal Turner Analysis / Take-away: 

If NATO officially asserts that chemical weapons WERE used (and that’s a big “if”) and that NATO is entering the war, Russia has already said publicly it will use its nuclear missiles.

UPDATE 5:28 PM EDT —

Kira Rudik, a member of the Ukrainian Parliament, confirms recent reports about Mariupol attack: “The unknown substance was sprayed by Russians in Mariupol.  People are suffocating.”

UPDATE 5:42 PM EDT —

The mass-media is starting to “run” with the story of a “Chemical attack” in Mariupol.   They would only be running with it if their government masters told them to.  And Government would only tell them to, if the plan is for NATO to announce they are intervening.   Here, from the London “Mirror” newspaper (Link)

This is getting worse by the hour.

UH OH . . . 5:46 PM EDT — Now NEWSWEEK in the USA is carrying the story . . . . (Link)

5:49 PM EDT — Microsoft Network (MSN) now carrying the story too . . . (Link)

Whatever and whomever is in that lab is worth potentially destroying the world to them.

UPDATE 6:08 PM EDT —

UK'S FOREIGN MINISTER TRUSS TWEETS: REPORTS THAT RUSSIAN FORCES MAY HAVE USED CHEMICAL AGENTS IN AN ATTACK ON THE PEOPLE OF MARIUPOL. ANY USE OF SUCH WEAPONS WOULD BE A CALLOUS ESCALATION IN THIS CONFLICT AND WE WILL HOLD PUTIN AND HIS REGIME TO ACCOUNT.

6:52 PM EDT –

All the latest info TONIGHT at 9:00 PM Eastern (8:00 Central, 7:00 Mountain, 6:00 Pacific, 5:00 Alaska, 4:00 Hawaii) on the Hal Turner Radio Show.  Set a REMINDER in your cell phone!

You can tune-in FREE as follows:

WBCQ Shortwave on Frequencies 7.490 and 6.160 AM

WRMI Shortwave on Frequency 5.950 AM

KYAH – 540 AM, Utah’s Talk Authority

or here on the Internet at this link:  http://stream.halturnerradioshow.com:8000/ (Click LISTEN)

NOTE: This link does not go active until about one hour BEFORE showtime.  During that hour, it streams commercial-free music until the show begins.

FINAL UPDATE —

It turns out that the “reports” of this “Chemical attack” originated from . . . . wait for it . . . . the Azov Battalion which is stuck in the Asovstal Steel Mill, and under siege from Russian forces.   It appears to have been a blatantly fraudulent claim, designed to instigate the entry of NATO into the Ukraine situation.

The claim was repeated and re-circulated by the press and PR machine backing Ukraine.  That’s why reports “flooded-in.”

Here’s the “rub.”   If NATO, which appears to be run by sociopaths and psychotics, CHOOSES to treat this report as legitimate and CHOOSES to enter Ukraine, then it’s war with Russia and the nuclear missile will fly.

None of us knows right now if NATO sociopaths and psychotics will try to put lipstick on this pig of a report, and treat it as legitimate.  Until we know, there is very real danger that this will be the match that ignites world war.

Isn’t the Iraq/Saddam trick with the “chemical weapons” a little out of date?

Or they are hoping that we don’t remember how the fake war started over there?

Well, some of us remember.

A decent thrift store find

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A thrift shop find.

INTEL: U.S. Delta Forces and U.K. “SAS” Fighting inside Ukraine since February!

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A source in the French intelligence community reportedly informed a Le Figaro reporter last week that elite special forces from the UK and the US have been deployed in Ukraine since the start of hostilities with Russia in late February.

The claim was made public by the newspaper’s senior international journalist Georges Malbrunot on Saturday, the same day that British Prime Minister Boris Johnson paid an unexpected visit to Kiev. Although this information has not been officially confirmed, the British leader was reportedly accompanied by special SAS guards.

SAS units “have been present in Ukraine since the beginning of the war, as did [sic] the American Deltas,” Malbrunot tweeted, citing a French intelligence source. He went on to say that Russia was well aware of the “secret war” waged against its troops by foreign commandos, according to the source. His information was mentioned in Le Figaro’s Ukraine updates.

The French journalist who returned from Ukraine after arriving with volunteer fighters told broadcaster CNews that “Americans are directly “in charge” of the war on the ground.”

The United Kingdom and the United States have been among Kiev’s most ardent military supports. Johnson is said to have personally urged his Ukrainian colleague, Volodymyr Zelensky, to continue fighting Russia until better terms are presented.

It seems that the United States and Europe lost their bet on Ukraine and Zelensky. They will not receive anything for the supplied weapons

Something tells me, dear readers, that, in the end, the Anglo-Saxons will get nothing from Ukraine but losses.

These losses will become the operating costs of the West.

There are several reasons for Western operating losses:

- the current power of the Nazis is illegitimate, even if the state of Ukraine will exist due to the succession of the DPR and LPR;

- it is not a fact that the state of Ukraine will exist after the completion of the special military operation of the Russian Armed Forces;

- to save the Nazi regime in Ukraine, Russia must suffer a military defeat and disappear as a state. This is the "wet" dream of the West, which is not destined to come true. From the word "never".

With a probability of up to 97%, in my opinion, instead of the state of Ukraine, the Southwestern Federal District of Russia may appear on the map.

Variants of names - Little Russia, Malorossia

After the victorious completion, of course, of the special military operation of the Russian Armed Forces on the territory of Ukraine.

All the enslaving "rights" of the West, to the best of my understanding, exist exactly until the moment when, instead of today's illegitimate government, legitimate successors come to govern Ukraine - the DPR and LPR.

That's when the United States and the rest of the West will get a "donut hole", nothing more.

All their costs will become their sunk costs.

Similar to the Nazis, who armed the collaborators, during the war with the USSR.

I don’t remember that in the history of the wars of the West against Russia, the Republic of Ingushetia, the USSR, such issues were resolved somehow differently.

And this will happen after the cleansing of the current Nazi regime in Ukraine.

With a high degree of probability, even shameful for the part of the Russian people living there, the name "Ukraine", invented by the Poles, will cease to exist.

Unfortunately, or fortunately, "soon the fairy tale is told, but the deed is not done soon."

Social processes, in comparison with the life expectancy of people, are slow.

For them, 100-300 years is not a period.

But, to the best of my understanding, this time. all the main events that cleanse the part of the Russian people living there from Nazism (constituting, somewhere, at least 80% of the total population), will occur much faster.

It will work out the social law of three generations, at least there are signs of this.

In addition, dear readers, as far as I know, Ukraine did not find time to register the 1991 treaty borders with the UN.

It directly follows from this that the entire territory of Ukraine was and is, from the point of view of the UN and international law, under the administrative control of Russia, as the legal successor of the USSR.

(The Pridnestrovian Moldavian Republic, inhabited mainly by Russians, having not agreed to become part of Romania, has a similar legal status, similar to that of the DPR and LPR.)

This explains why Russia, in this case, legally, is not at war with another state.

This fact legally confirms that civilians who are not at war with the Russian Armed Forces are OWN for Russia.

Which he confirmed with his order of the Supreme Command of Russia.

Russia, in its own right, conducts a special military operation on the territory that is legally one of the administrative units of Russia.

Yes, a few specific units, but nothing more.

It should also be borne in mind that there can be no war, other than a civil one, between territories under common administrative control.

As well as no annexations, etc., etc.

But, administrative reforms on the territory of Ukraine, in my understanding, can and, perhaps, should be in the future.

Moreover, Russia has the right to carry out administrative and other reforms at its own discretion, and, of course, in its own interest.

On the above basis, there is the only internationally recognized state western border of the USSR with the countries of Eastern Europe.

The rights of Russia, as the successor of the USSR, are registered with the UN.

So, Russia paid the debts of the USSR for all the republics, including for Ukraine, in accordance with international law.

Thus, from the point of view of international law, no one has any grounds for a dispute with Russia about the territorial affiliation of Ukraine.

Author – Gennady Tsybanev

Cool thrift shop find…

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thrift shops 34

Dr Lexus!

One of the best Scenes. Dr. Lexus! Idiocracy 2006 comedy film, directed by Mike Judge. Starring Luke Wilson and Maya Rudolph.

British Mercenary “CossackGundi” Surrenders To Russian Forces in Mariupol Ukraine

CossackGundi Merc SurrendersToRussia large
Cossack Gundi Merc SurrendersTo Russia

We have received reports that British “volunteer” Aiden Aslin, better known as “CossackGundi”, and other international “volunteers” in the Ukrainian Marines, have chosen to lay down their arms to Russian forces around Mariupol, Ukraine, after running out of food and ammunition.

A source close to Aiden, who previously served with him in the YPG (Syria) spoke with him by phone and told us “I just spoke with Aiden. His unit is out of food and ammo. They have no other option but to surrender. He said he loves you all.”

He is surrendering to Russians which is only slightly better than surrendering to Chechyns.

He’s upset.  Likely he knows he’s going to spend the rest of his life in some Russian prison.   Worse, for him, is that once Russia tells the world they have him, the country of Syria is likely to issue an arrest warrant for the mercenary role he played in THAT country.   This likely translates to life in prison not only in Russia, but in Syria as well.

Hal Turner Analysis

THIS is what happens to British forces who actually believe the mentally retarded British government.  The people inserted into government positions are such incredible fools, and such blatant liars, they will fabricate just about __any__ story to get people to go do things for them.   And when those things go bad . . . . the government fools who caused it all, are nowhere to be found.

British officials like Liz Truss are unimaginable liars; they deliberately falsify information to the public – and likely in private as well – to cause people to do things that are not in the interests of others.   Those others fight back and whoever volunteers to help the British, gets the consequences.  Just like CossackGundi is getting right now.

Same thing with the Americans.  Look at what they did to Afghans.  Pulled out of Kabul, and simply LEFT all the Afghans who helped them.  Those Afghans – what few were allowed to live — were dealt with by the Taliban.

DO NOT FIGHT FOR THE UK OR FOR THE USA.   If you choose to believe the lies of those government nitwits, liars, and sociopaths, you will likely get what CossackGundi is getting right now.

For what its worth, Ukraine is losing this conflict and is going to lose. Period. Full stop.

Ukraine never had a chance against Russia.  Only an idiot would think otherwise.

Ukraine lost when they decided to accept western money to overthrow the Democratically elected President, Viktor Yanukovich, in 2014.

They lost again when they elected a west-financed puppet government in Kiev.

They lost again when the people of Crimea voted in a referendum, to leave Ukraine and return to Russia.

They lost again when the people of Luhansk and DOnetsk decided they, too, were leaving Ukraine for Russia – but Ukraine said “no” and sent the Ukraine Army to bomb them.

Ukraine lost again when their army in Luhansk and Donetsk was confronted by “Little Green men” sent in by Russia to protect the civilians in Luhansk and Donetsk.

Ukraine lost again when they signed the Minsk Agreements, then did absolutely NOTHING to implement them for five years, and instead continued to bomb civilians in Luhansk and Donetsk.

Ukraine lost again when they openly incorporated actual NAZIS into their government, police, and military.

Ukraine lost again when Luhansk and Donetsk declared Independence and invited Russia in to protect them.

Ukraine lost again when the Kremlin called on February 23, and gave Ukraine five hours to accept the terms of the Minsk Agreement, accept that Crimea was now Russian territory, and allow Luhansk and Donetsk to be free, then IGNORED the Kremlin ultimatum at the behest of the British and Americans.   Once that five hour window expired, the Russian Army entered Ukraine.

Ukraine’s public relations machine would have people think that Ukraine is the victim; they are not.  They are the perpetrators . . .  they brought all this upon themselves and they are losing.

Discovery 1

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2022 04 13 19 37

The United States Begs China to help them deal with the American economic crisis

Translated from Chinese. This is from an article out of Hong Kong. I don’t know how accurate it is. While my factories and logistics carriers are seriously nervious about shipping to the USA, none of them has actually refused making products for Americans. -MM

2022-04-12 18:23 HKT
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The trade war between China and the United States has been fought for several years, but judging from the current overall situation, it is clear that the outcome has been divided. The United States has fallen into a serious economic crisis, while China will enter a new round of golden age of economic development. Even when the United States has been forced to do nothing, it has repeatedly released goodwill hopes to China to soften China and get China's help to get out of the crisis.

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According to a New York Times report, in mid-May, the U.S. Trade Representative made two requests for dialogue with senior leaders of the Chinese commerce sector, but both were rejected by China.

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The current US economic crisis is indeed very serious.

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 In 2020, the coronavirus pandemic has brought a huge blow to the US economic order, because the US government at that time did not consider to achieve effective control of the coronavirus, and in response to the 2020 election. .

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The Trump administration's policy of only focusing on economic data has directly led to the loss of control and raging of the domestic epidemic in the United States, which also caused headaches for the Biden administration, which had just taken office only a few months ago.

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Although the Biden administration has adopted a relatively clear epidemic prevention and control policy after taking office, it has also vaccinated the people on a large scale, hoping to achieve herd immunity. 

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However, the epidemic in the United States cannot be completely controlled in just a few months. Under the influence of the epidemic, the unemployment rate in the United States has reached about 10%, and it is difficult for many Americans to maintain their basic survival. 

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Moreover, the coronavirus pandemic is after all spreading throughout the world, which has also had a huge impact on the overall world trade. It is already difficult for the United States to export its goods to all parts of the world without hindrance as before, and the world It is still unknown when the economy can be fully restarted.

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What's more terrible is that in order to restore the instability of the economic order, the Biden administration unilaterally began to seek economic recovery after taking office. The Biden administration proposed a trillion-dollar infrastructure construction plan, but the current U.S. finances clearly cannot support it. According to data released by the U.S. Department of Finance, the U.S. government debt ratio reached 137% in fiscal year 2020, which is a historic high.

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If the US government wants to pay back the money, it will take at least 20 years, so the Biden administration can also be said to have completely abandoned its control of the inflation rate. The Biden administration implemented monetary easing and fiscal stimulus plans, requiring the Fed to step up printing trillions of dollars into the market to revitalize the US economy. From the perspective of existing economic indicators, this is indeed useful.

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The U.S. government has given the people a lot of money for consumption, thereby promoting the stability of the U.S. economic order. Therefore, in the first few months of this year, U.S. economic growth has at least returned to a normal track, but what this has brought is The domestic inflation rate in the United States has increased as never before. (note : when the world stop buying US treasury debt and begin to sales those in hand, US lost its power of printing money without domestic inflation) 

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In May of this year, the U.S. consumer price index rose to 5%, and the inflation rate was as high as 53%. This will bring more serious obstacles to the future economic development of the United States, and even now the United States is overdrafting its global economic hegemony. And the US dollar hegemony to temporarily stabilize the economic order.

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The high inflation rate means that the domestic price level in the United States is rising rapidly, but the average salary of American residents has not followed up, and even has declined to a certain extent. After all, the coronavirus pandemic still exists, and various American companies want to guarantee themselves. The business interests of the United States have carried out large-scale layoffs and reduced employee salaries. Therefore, the economic harm caused by inflation to the United States has actually been hit on ordinary Americans, while the rich in the United States have entered the rotation of leeks. Carnival.

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Because these wealthy people can also receive government financial subsidies, they have invested all the financial subsidies they received in the stock market to plunder the wealth of the American middle class. Therefore, we can clearly see that in the last half of the year, the top 10 wealthy individuals in the United States have completed their own rapid accumulation of capital, and their average asset ratio has increased by nearly 40%. Therefore, under the influence of the coronavirus pandemic, the inflation rate in the United States is rising rapidly, and the gap between the rich and the poor in the United States is becoming wider and wider.

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The U.S. government must be responsible for all this. After the end of World War II, the U.S., as a capitalist country, has encountered economic crises more than once, but because of the existence of the Bretton Woods system and subsequent U.S. dollar hegemony and economic hegemony, the U.S. When suffering from an economic crisis, it is possible to transfer the crisis to the entire international community by investing a large amount of US dollars in the market. The facts have proved that such measures are indeed effective. The US economy protected by the international economic order has guaranteed its long-term prosperity, but now the US dollar hegemony has been challenged unprecedentedly.

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The first point is that the global de-dollarization process is constantly being promoted. According to the data released by the IMF, the proportion of the US dollar in the world trade orientation system has dropped from 85% at its peak to 57%. Although it still has an advantage, But the advantage is far from what it used to be.

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Moreover, in 2020, the entire world will be severely affected by the epidemic. .

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The United States can indeed ensure its own economic order by transferring the economic crisis, but this has a premise that the world trade market must be stable, and all countries must buy American products. Products, or export products to the United States, but now obviously there is no such condition.

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Because most countries are unable to maintain their trade stability under the influence of the epidemic. Vietnam, India and other well-known markets in the international community have begun to reduce their product imports. 

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It is no longer possible for them to import products from the United States on a large scale. As the world's largest and most dynamic market, China is of course also It is impossible to allow American products to enter the Chinese market on a large scale. After all, the Sino-US trade war has not completely ended until now.

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But for the current U.S. government, there is not much that can be found. The U.S. needs China. As we have mentioned above, the inflation rate in the United States is very huge, which has even reached a historic high. The domestic price level in the United States has risen by 31% in just three months

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(note : apparently, China stop export subsidies and imposed export tariff on certain strategic products such as steel help to keep the domestic prices stable, while making US cost rise to counter US irresponsible money printing.)

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In order to quell domestic prices in the United States, they must obtain goods from China, because China's industrial output is huge, and because we have the advantage of the entire industrial chain, Chinese goods are characterized by good quality and low prices. 

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Once Chinese goods are acquired, the domestic price level in the United States will inevitably fall. Therefore, many American companies have begun to place orders with Chinese factories, but most Chinese factories have rejected orders from the United States. There are two main reasons for China's rejection of orders.

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The first point is because of the coronavirus pandemic. Although the overall domestic epidemic in China has been brought under control, China's economic recovery level and factory resumption rate rank first in the world. However, the impact of the coronavirus pandemic on us still exists. Unhindered large-scale industrial production as before is obviously unrealistic, which is not conducive to our overall epidemic prevention and control.

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Therefore, the main purpose of China's industrial operation is to ensure its own market demand, not to save the United States. It is obvious that the rejection of US orders by Chinese companies is understandable. After all, the catastrophe is imminent. 

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Even if China is a responsible country, the first consideration is its own national interests and market needs. (note: still remember last winter, in the name of energy shortage and prices, China deliberately cut certain factory output? I believe it is deliberately cutting those output so that they can reject US order to avoid the dollar they received become useless in a foreseeable future. )

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The second is that Sino-US relations have not yet returned to normal.

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Before, the United States initiated a full-scale trade war against China, but now the United States has taken the initiative to show its favor to China, hoping that Chinese goods will enter the United States and quell American inflation. .

How can this be possible? 

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The initiative in the relationship between China and the United States is in China's hands. It is impossible for us to maintain the economic order of the United States by harming our own commercial and corporate interests.

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And if Chinese factories do not accept US orders, US inflation may fall into an endless loop, because the US's own industrial manufacturing obviously cannot meet the needs of the market. 

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The U.S. has a population of hundreds of millions, and the U.S. economy is also the world's No. 1, but we can see that in the total U.S. economy, manufacturing accounts for only 10% of the total, while U.S. manufacturing and industry are only about 27% of China's. , It is simply impossible to meet the domestic market demand in the United States.

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Not to mention that most of the US manufacturing and industry are concentrated in military weapons and high-end information industry. 

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These industrial categories and product categories can bring huge commercial benefits to the United States in peacetime, but they are severely affected in global trade. Under the circumstances, this does not have any positive effect on the United States' current idea of ​​consolidating economic order. After all, Americans can't eat bullets. It's not realistic to let them eat mobile phones.

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Although the Biden administration has put forward a large-scale infrastructure construction plan and a US secondary industry plan since it came to power, it takes time and money. So now the US needs China to help. If there is no China, the US inflation rate will only be Progress expands.

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And the economic crisis in the United States really tells us that the economy of this country is mainly based on manufacturing and industry. About 80% of the total US economy comes from the tertiary industry, and about 7% of the total US economy is created by the lawyer industry. 

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That is to say, the total output value of the US manufacturing and industry is only more than that of the lawyer industry. The created GDP is 3% higher, and the US economy can be said to be built on castles in the air

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In the past, the US economy was able to stabilize because the US possessed global hegemony and dollar hegemony. However, when US hegemony was challenged, their economic order did not have a solid foundation. China can certainly help the United States, but the premise is that the United States must respect our national sovereignty and give up unrealistic suppression and blockade of China. China is no longer an object that the United States can suppress at will.

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Another cool thrift shop discovery

thrift shops 42
A must have!

China Firms Pulling-Out of USA, BRITAIN, CANADA

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China’s top offshore oil and gas producer CNOOC Ltd. is preparing to exit its operations in Britain, Canada, and the United States, because of concerns in Beijing the assets could become subject to Western sanctions, industry sources said.

All in a Day’s Work

From <redacted> a fine MM follower…

Back when we were supposed to be locked down for some unknown period of weeks or months, Wifey and I stocked up on some barterable and essential slop that we both could tolerate in an emergency.

Booze, beans and bullets.

Yesterday I came in for lunch from my yardwork tasks in the swampy bitch that is our backyard; muddy, but wet enough that the soles of my boots were pretty clean. Wifey was rotating out some of the A-Bomb supplies and a large can (12oz) of tuna + greenery was my awaiting meal. The can said that it had expired
over a year ago like I give a shit what those lying planned-obsolescence assholes say. I pound down that mound of an enhanced salad in about fifteen minutes. I suited back up and headed to the quagmire to distribute Wifey’s latest “all natural” cure upon our weed farm that the neighbors love so. About fifteen
minutes into the task, I felt something gurgling down deep in my processing plant.

Fuck!

Read the rest HERE in glorious PDF.

Discovery 2

2022 04 13 19 38
2022 04 13 19 38

South Korea is on China’s “Hit List”

Article 9 of the South Korea-US Status of Forces Agreement (SOFA) stipulates that a custom’s examination “shall not be made” in case of “military cargo consigned to the US armed forces,” according to a document posted by the South Korean Foreign Ministry.
“According to the SOFA, the US military cargo is exempt from customs inspection, allowing (the USFK) to bring in whatever it wants … (South) Korea is a very friendly country for the United States to import germs and conduct tests,” Lee Jang-hie, emeritus professor at law school of Hankuk University of Foreign Studies, told Xinhua.
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Russians aren’t that different from Americans

wtf russia 11
Russian fishing.

1950″s Brownie Recipe

This is the recipe we used in Home Economics in the l950’s.  It’s very moist and chewy, a super rich brownie. It goes great with pudding, ice cream, or fudge toppings.

And a fine brandy or hot coffee.

2022 04 12 21 50
So yummy!

Here’s the recipe:

1 cup softened butter
2 cups sugar
3 large eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
4 ounces semi-sweet bar
1 1/4 cups of sifted all-purpose flour
(measure flour after sifting)
1/2 teaspoon salt

Optional: add 1 cup of chopped pecans or walnuts.
dark can be used

Preheat oven 350 degrees
Use 13″ x 9″ pan, greased and floured
Bake 40-45 minutes until toothpick inserted in center comes out clean.
Allow cool in pan before slicing.
These brownies freeze very well, they will keep months.

So Pun-ny

fails on snapchat 21
Booby trap.

Poland “attacks” Belarus border post

A few days ago—and I’m not sure it was the first time—Polish uniformed personnel “attacked” a Belarus border post.

In the short video clip below, one Polish serviceman shoots a slingshot (see around 0:27) and another one shines a stroboscopic lamp, towards the Belarussian position.

 

You might think this is not serious.

It is serious.  This is an international border.  Unless you think the Polish border guard (or army, or whoever this is) is a hooligan rabble, they would not be doing this without orders.

Imagine if Mexico’s army did this to the U.S. Border Guard, how would Americans feel?  (We know the cartels do much worse, but they’re not the government, so Mexico gets a pass.)

Next, the Poles may deploy a watermelon catapult, or sound warfare, or tear gas, or whatever, and someone on the Belarussian side will get hurt, or worse.

Poland will say, “It’s just a catapult!”, but if it breaks someone’s neck, Belarus would have to respond…..

…..And then it’s “NATO Article 5”, and the 10,000-plus U.S. military personnel in Poland, most located within 30 miles of the Ukrainian or Belarussian borders (for just such an eventuality), get drawn into it.  Not to mention, just now I got video of this U.S. or German (these are not in the Polish arsenal) howitzer train—at least two batteries’ worth—moving into Poland.

 

In short, the border actions are a provocation.

This is one step in a campaign of escalation.

Poland has been trying to pull off a regime change in Belarus since 2020.

Claims that Uncle Sam is directly behind the regime change efforts are mostly false.  It’s Poland, with Lithuania and Germany in second place.

In response, Belarus had been facilitating a wave of chaotic illegal migration of Iraqis and others into Poland, however, that more or less stopped, many months ago.

Recently, a team of railway saboteurs was arrested in Belarus; one of the three resisted and was shot (not killed.)  They were found to have a pistol and some professional radio gear.  I have videos of their apprehension and the damage they caused, but it’s not that interesting.

It’s likely they were operating under pay and orders from Polish intelligence.  The railway is a target because it moves Russian army gear.

Poland’s intelligence service has set up a virtual “front group” called BYPOL, allegedly consisting of Belarussian security personnel who want to see a democratic Belarus blah blah.

BYPOL might have some uniformed collaborators in its employ.  (We don’t know, because no one is identified—it’s made out like it’s an undercover network inside Belarus, probably imaginary.)

Even if it’s not 100-percent fake, it’s a front.  You know who is writing the checks and pulling the strings.

BYPOL “exists” so that any sabotage inside Belarus can be “plausibly denied” by Poland. “It wasn’t us, it was BYPOL.”

BYPOL’s English-language website is here.  It’s ridiculously slick, probably made in the USA, or with the help of an American PR firm.

Poland has been looking to expand its influence over its neighbors.

Much of Belarus and the Ukraine were controlled by Poland from the 1400s to the early 1700s, and then western Belarus and northwest Ukraine were occupied by Poland again from 1919 to 1939.

Now, Poland wants it back. 

Don’t just take my word for it.  Polish-American tweeter Jack Posobiec—1.7 million followers, and a regular on Steve Bannon’s show—has been calling for a renewed Polish empire for over a year.

A retired commander of Polish ground forces recently told Poland’s leading tabloid that Russia’s Kaliningrad province (taken from Germany in 1945) is rightfully Polish and must be conquered.

That’s the sort of crap that is going around in their media space.  Their public is being primed for intervention and expansion.

In recent weeks, Poland has mobilized an entire infantry division (with the help of U.S. trainers) to move into northwest Ukraine, to “protect” the Ukrainians, even though the Ukraine-Russia fighting is hundreds of miles away.

A few military targets in this part of the Ukraine have been bombed, but no one seriously thinks Russia wants—or would be able to—move its ground forces into the area anytime soon.  If the war comes here, unlikely as that is, it is still months away.

So far, the European Union and NATO Command have told Poland, “No!”

That may change if something heats up on the Poland-Belarus border.

If Poland and Belarus start fighting, that would be bad enough, it would involve NATO and possibly nuclear weapons.  But (if we’re still here), Poland would also have some pretext and political cover to move into northwest Ukraine and establish a long-term protectorate there.

(This “expeditionary force” would be supported by NATO Patriot missile batteries now deployed in Slovakia.)

That’s their goal.  That’s what this Belarus border drama is about.

Everyone must understand now, if the Russia-Ukraine war gets “out of control”, and turns into a broader Russia-NATO war, or a nuclear war, it won’t be thanks to Brandon.

It would be thanks to Poland.

It’s a common enough problem.

2022 04 13 20 25
2022 04 13 20 25

FLASH TRAFFIC: RUSSIA TO CONSIDER US/NATO VEHICLES BRINGING WEAPONS TO UKRAINE AS LEGITIMATE MILITARY TARGETS

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Russia will consider US and NATO vehicles that transport weapons to Ukraine as legitimate military targets, Russian Deputy Foreign Minister Ryabkov said.

He did not elaborate on WHERE such vehicles would be treated as legitimate military targets.  While it may be normal to treat them as such INSIDE Ukraine, the statement seems deliberately ambiguous on that point.

In other news, however, there was no ambiguity:

The Russian Ministry of Defense today publicly warned Ukraine President Volodymyr Zelenski that if Ukraine continues to attack targets inside Russia, then Russia will commence targeting the “centers of decision making” in Ukraine.   Read that to mean, government buildings in the national capital, Kiev.

Earlier, the governor of the Kursk region in Russia reported several attacks at border crossings perpetrated on the Ukrainian side of the crossing. The attacks with mortars and small firearms have not yet caused any casualties, the governor said.

Russia’s Defense Ministry has warned that Russian armed forces will launch strikes on Ukrainian “decision-making centers”, including Kiev, if Ukraine doesn’t stop trying to hit objects on Russian territory. The ministry added that, so far, Moscow had avoided hitting these centers, but this policy might change.

Russia announced its decision drastically to scale down its military activities near Kiev after making such progress in the last in-person bilateral talks with Ukraine, which took place in Istanbul on 29 March. Moscow explained that key decision-makers, who can make the final call in peace talks, live in Kiev and hence the city should be spared any hostilities in the near future.

The defense ministry’s announcement comes in the wake of several incidents, in which the Ukrainian Armed Forces carried out attacks on Russian territory. Governor of the Kursk region, Roman Starovoit reported that a border crossing was shelled from the Ukraine side on 9 April and that the mortar position was suppressed when the Russian side returned fire. Starovoit also said that a group of Russian border guards came under small arms fire from the Ukrainian side on 13 April. There were no casualties among Russians in both incidents.

Discovery 3

2022 04 13 19 40
2022 04 13 19 40

4 Checkmate – Patrick McGoohan’s The Prisoner

This show should be watched in its entirity. This is a classic 1960s show about the retirement of “secret agents”. This is a really nice segment, and you really should watch the ENTIRE clip. It’s just… precious.

I hope you enjoy it. It seems very bizzare, but as you watch it you can see the beauty in the entire production.

Sweden Expects to Join NATO in June of this year

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The Social Democrat party leadership in Sweden has allegedly decided on the NATO issue. Party Leader Magdalena Andersson‘s goal is for Sweden to join NATO in June this year, say sources in the party.

OIP C.eOONJwi3vNvHft1Bxr9yagHaE9
Magdalena Andersson

The application is planned to be submitted at the NATO meeting in Madrid on June 29-30.

The official neutrality of both Sweden and nearby Finland, has kept the peace with Russia for decades.

It is not yet known what Russia’s reaction might be to such a decision by Sweden, but the reaction by Russia over Finland joining is not in question: Russia has publicly stated that the only thing Finland would achieve by joining NATO would be the destruction of their country.

The America Competes Act of 2022

The America Competes Act of 2022 contains a proposal for a new outbound review process that would screen investments in offshore supply chains, notably in China
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Though there is bipartisan political support for the investment regime, it is not yet clear what shape it will take or how it will impact US firms in China, say experts
.

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Discovery 4

So you lift up this crappy old rug, and you find a crappy owld wooden floor. On closer inspection,  you see that it is real hardwood, and so you fix the holes and sand and clean it up then a fine layer of acrylic. Look at the transformation!

2022 04 13 19 41
2022 04 13 19 41

Russia’s role in space program is irreplaceable, Roscosmos boss says as EU suspends cooperation on Mars mission

Western countries are heavily sanctioning Russia’s space program. The European Union has decided to suspend cooperation with Russia on exploring Mars. But the head of Russia’s space program, known as “Roscosmos” told CGTN that Moscow’s role in space exploration is indispensable.

LI JIANHUA CGTN Reporter “Mr. Rogozin, thank you for accepting our interview. The EU has halted cooperation with Russia on ExoMars. How has this affected the Russian Space Agency and what is the impact on manned space exploration?”

DMITRY ROGOZIN Director General, Roscosmos “It’s a cooperative mission. If Russia doesn’t join, Europe won’t go ahead with the mission, because Russia’s contribution to the mission is huge. It is not only about the heavy rockets that send these instruments into orbit and to Mars. It’s also about the landing vehicles. These vehicles must help achieve a soft landing on Mars or the research rovers. The module itself is a research station. We have been waiting so long to realize this mission. If it is delayed, it will never happen. They may change Russia’s landing module, but that decision could take a lot of time and money.”

LI JIANHUA CGTN Reporter “Without international cooperation, will Russia be able to conduct the expedition research on its own?”

DMITRY ROGOZIN Director General, Roscosmos “The problem is when someone does it on their own, it costs a lot of money. It will be a huge burden on the budget. In the construction of ExoMars, the main element is the landing module. The Mars research rover is not the essential element. I think we can make this mission happen with another partner like China or someone else.”

LI JIANHUA CGTN Reporter “How about the International Space Station? NASA has said the Russia-US cooperation on the ISS will not be affected by the new sanctions. What’s your take on that?”

DMITRY ROGOZIN Director General, Roscosmos “The sanctions have been imposed on Russia to make our economy and high-tech companies suffer, to make our people’s lives more difficult, and to bring Russia to its knees. Clearly, it’s not possible because of the strength and will of our people and country.”

LI JIANHUA CGTN “So let’s say there are more sanctions on Russia and Russia decides to withdraw from the ISS programme. You previously warned that the ISS could collapse as a result of the sanctions. I’m quoting you as saying ‘if you stop cooperation with us, who will save the 500-ton ISS from going out of control, derailing and falling on Earth.’ What’s your take on that?”

DMITRY ROGOZIN Director General, Roscosmos “Russia’s role is vital. Only Russia’s Soyuz spacecraft can transport American, European, Canadian, Japanese astronauts and their guests. Soyuz is irreplaceable, because America doesn’t have any spacecraft. Russia helps the international space station avoid space rubbish and maintain orbital correction. The ISS is in a low earth orbit. It helps deliver fuels to the station. These are the main contributions from Russia and Roscomos in particular. So working without Russia is impossible, just like working without America. If they pull us out of this, the ISS wouldn’t exist anymore.”

LI JIANHUA CGTN Reporter “China’s Shenzhou-13 crew are set to come back to Earth in mid-April. What’s your comment on their mission? What do you think of China’s promise of international cooperation in the future?”

DMITRY ROGOZIN Director General, Roscosmos “We work well with our Chinese friends. We have Glonass, and China’s Beidou system was built in orbit not long ago. They are compatible, very compatible. The second project is interesting, which is the International Lunar Research Station. We have signed all the necessary documents with our Chinese friends. Regarding China’s space station, we can talk about creating new modules. To be friends in space, we must be friends on Earth. Russia and China are friends on Earth. I think China and Russia can work together in manned cosmonautics.”

Article

Discovery 5

You remove some drywall, and you discover windows that were covered up. Why?

2022 04 13 19 43
2022 04 13 19 43

Discovery 6

There’s all sorts of things lying around that are interesting.

2022 04 13 19 g43
2022 04 13 19 g43

The Inflation Crisis Of 2022 Is Now Worse Than Anything That We Experienced During The 1970s

America is going to be in for some trying times. -MM
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Most Americans don’t realize this, but we truly have entered historic territory.  As you will see below, the inflation crisis of 2022 has now escalated to a level that is beyond anything that we experienced during the horrible Jimmy Carter era of the 1970s.  If you are old enough to have been alive back then, you probably remember the constant headlines about inflation.  And you also probably remember that it seemed like the impotent administration in power in Washington was powerless to do anything about it.  In other words, it was a lot like what we are going through today.  Unfortunately for us, this new economic crisis is still only in the very early chapters.

Of course the mainstream media would like us to believe that what we are experiencing today is not even close to what Americans went through in the late 1970s and early 1980s.  According to CNN, the U.S. inflation rate hit a peak of 14.6 percent in the first half of 1980…

The inflation rate hit a record high of 14.6% in March and April of 1980. It helped to lead to Carter’s defeat in that fall’s election. It also led to some significant changes in the US economy.

Compared to that, the numbers we have been given in early 2022 seem rather tame.  On Tuesday, we learned that the official rate of inflation in the U.S. hit 8.5 percent in the month of March…

Prices that consumers pay for everyday items surged in March to their highest levels since the early days of the Reagan administration, according to Labor Department data released Tuesday.

The consumer price index, which measures a wide-ranging basket of goods and services, jumped 8.5% from a year ago on an unadjusted basis, above even the already elevated Dow Jones estimate for 8.4%.

8.5 percent is much lower than 14.6 percent, and so to most people it would seem logical to conclude that we are still a long way from the kind of nightmarish crisis that our nation endured during the waning days of the Carter administration.

But is that the truth?

In reality, we can’t make a straight comparison between the official rate of inflation in 2022 and the official rate of inflation in 1980.  The way that the inflation rate is calculated has been changed more than 20 times since 1980, and every time it was changed the goal was to make the official rate of inflation appear to be lower.

What we really need is an apples to apples comparison, and fortunately John Williams over at shadowstats.com has done the math for us.

According to Williams, if the inflation rate was still calculated the way that it was back in 1980, the official rate of inflation would be somewhere around 17 percent right now.

17 percent!

That means that the inflation that we are seeing now is even worse than anything that Americans went through during the Jimmy Carter era.

And government figures for individual categories seem to confirm that inflation is now wildly out of control.  For example, the price of gasoline has risen by 48 percent over the past year…

The price of gasoline rose by 48.0 percent from March 2021 to March 2022, according to numbers released today by the Bureau of Labor Statistics.

In just one month—from February to March—the seasonally adjusted price of gasoline went up 18.3 percent.

Vehicle prices have escalated to absurd levels as well.  If you can believe it, the average retail selling price of a used vehicle at CarMax has risen by 39.7 percent in just 12 months…

CarMax experienced a slowdown in fourth-quarter used car sales volume as its average retail selling price jumped 39.7% year-over-year to $29,312, an increase of approximately $8,300 per unit.

And I discussed yesterday, home prices in the United States have jumped 32.6 percent over the past two years.

We have entered a full-blown inflationary nightmare, and the Biden administration is trying to blame Vladimir Putin for it.

Needless to say, that is extremely disingenuous of Biden, because prices were already skyrocketing even before the war in Ukraine started.

But it is true that the war is making economic problems even worse all over the globe, and that isn’t going to end any time soon.

A couple of weeks ago there was a bit of optimism that some sort of a ceasefire agreement could be reached, but now there appears to be no hope that there will be one any time soon.

On Tuesday, Putin told the press that peace talks have reached “a dead end”

Talks with Ukraine have reached “a dead end,” Russian President Vladimir Putin said in fresh Tuesday remarks. “We will not stop military operations in Ukraine until they succeed.” He explained that Ukraine has “deviated” from agreements and any possible prior progress reached during the Istanbul meetings, according to state-run RIA.

The strong remarks aimed at both Kiev and the West were given during a joint presser with his Belarusian counterpart Alexander Lukashenko. He further hailed that the military operations is still going “according to plan,” Bloomberg reports, however while admitting to the domestic population that “Russian logistics and payment systems remain a weakness and the long-term impact of western measures could be more painful.” But he also said the county has withstood the economic “blitzkrieg” from the West.

And Volodymyr Zelensky is now saying that the return of Crimea is a “red line” for him

Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky named recognition of the annexation of the Crimea region as one of his red lines for Moscow in any potential peace talks with Russian President Vladimir Putin to end war between the two countries.

Russia annexed the southern region of Crimea in 2014. Russian-backed separatists and forces, as well Ukrainian soldiers, have since been fighting in the eastern region of Ukraine.

Russia will never, ever willingly give Crimea back to Ukraine.

Anyone that thinks otherwise is simply being delusional.

So unless someone changes their tune, this war between Russia and Ukraine is going to keep going until someone achieves total victory.

And that could take a really long time.

Meanwhile, global food supplies will get tighter and tighter, and global economic conditions will continue to rapidly deteriorate.

In other words, the kind of nightmare scenario that I have been warning about for years is now upon us.

And so what happens if another “black swan event” or two hits us later in 2022?

We are so vulnerable right now, and it wouldn’t take much at all to push us over the edge and into an unprecedented worldwide crisis of epic proportions.

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Do you want more?

You can find more articles related to this in my latest index; A New Beginning. And in it are elements of the old, some elements regarding the transition, and some elements that look towards the future.

New Beginnings 3

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Articles & Links

Master Index

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  • You can start reading the articles by going HERE.
  • You can visit the Index Page HERE to explore by article subject.
  • You can also ask the author some questions. You can go HERE to find out how to go about this.
  • You can find out more about the author HERE.
  • If you have concerns or complaints, you can go HERE.
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Awesome Movies – Army of Darkness

Happy Easter everyone. I hope that you are spending time together with loved one, relaxing and chilling out. For the Metallic-family, we went out and visited a couple of new malls, and ate some fine delicious Thai food, and some mild Hunan food. With wine and beer. Of course.

Later on, it’s a nice long relaxing afternoon with some silly and easy to watch movies to chill to. Please let’s dust off this crazy movie and pop it in the VCR. Listen to the tape a whirl, and watch the movie with a bowl of chips and a chill out attitude.

The Background

The Evil Dead series, both in the cinematic and television forms, has a marvelously delirious history. An original film financed on a shoestring budget that plays its horror-centric tone mostly straight but with a few chuckle inducing moments, a sequel that is in essence a remake of the original and was originally supposed to follow the plot of the third film, said third film that goes off in a completely different direction, and now a TV series, 22 years later, that makes no reference to the third installment for legal reasons, therefore technically continuing the story of the first film but unquestionably borrowing the slapstick, overly comedic identity of the third movie. Few popular franchises can claim to having a developmental history has complicated and hard fought as Evil Dead, although one would struggle to consider that a virtue. All that being said, Army of Darkness, which premiered in 1992 but was only released wide in February of 1993, is arguably the most interesting, unique and important entry.

-popoptiq

The Characters

  • Ash – Our legendary demon-slaying, lady-killing, chainsaw-wielding, S-Mart employee. Oh, and he also accidentally invented breakdancing by slipping on milk curd.
  • Sheila – She knows that the best way to catch a man’s eye is to slap the snot out of him. She also knows that the best way to keep a man is to bear him male children, and not to have syphilis.
  • Arthur – Noble born leader of the blighted lands, a real goody-goody two-shoes.
  • Wiseman – One of the worst things about the dark ages is that the world was filled with all sorts of evil spirits, fantastic monsters, and eldritch magic. The Wiseman’s job was to know the weakness of every possible supernatural peril. “Silver weapons, running water, garlic, a charm made from the toe of a saint” – those sorts of things. Everybody else knew that the old freaks were just making it up as they went along, but nobody cared, so long as the wards worked.
  • Duke Henry – Red haired and bearded leader of the northern kingdoms.
  • Bad Ash – Created after Ash swallows a tiny version of himself, then grows two heads, then splits into two people…oh forget it, he’s an evil and rotting version of Ash. Turned into a firework.
  • Little Ash’s – These miniature menaces terrorize Ash for a while. Some get stomped, one gets eaten.
  • The Army of the Dead – Hundreds of skeletons that are chopped to bits, blown apart, or crushed.

The Plot

The Army of Darkness is a remarkably silly movie. And it is just perfect to watch on lazy Easter Afternoons.

The beginning of “Army of Darkness” makes a slight adjustment to the end of Evil Dead 2. Originally, Ash is sucked through the wormhole, gets dumped out somewhere in time south of the Renaissance, blasts a flying Deadite, and is immediately worshipped as a delivering saint by a group of medieval warriors. Here we have Ash mistaken as part of Duke Henry’s army, the force that Lord Arthur has just routed from the field of battle. Poor Ash finds himself a prisoner of Lord Arthur, locked in a stock and told to schlep it along.

Back in those days there were not any federally-funded maximum security prisons. Heck, there were not even any small continents or large islands so that a country of Queen-loving citizens could banish their criminals (and the criminals’ children, and their children, and so on) to lifelong incarceration upon the too-big-for-an-island / sort-of-small-to-be-a-continent. Lord Arthur’s solution to this conundrum is that the last of Duke Henry’s men are to be tossed into the Pit. Inside the Pit are Deadites. Obviously, Ash does not want to go into the Pit, but that is exactly where he gets pushed. Things look really bad for our hero, but the Wiseman tosses Ash his chainsaw as a Deadite closes in for the kill. Armed with his trusty chainsaw, Ash is more than a match for any demon. The Deadite quickly becomes just plain old dead.

After he climbs out of the pit, Ash recovers his sawed-off double-barreled shotgun, and then berates the unwashed masses of medieval citizenry (nobles, serfs, and vassals). The good Lord Arthur finds it difficult to say no to a man who carries a boomstick and who eats soul-eating Deadites for lunch. The nobleman can only glare as Ash takes up residence in the central keep, and sets about enjoying the service of the serving wenches. Even a surprise visit by a Deadite hag just further cements Ash in place as a royal thorn in Arthur’s royal side.

For his part, Ash effectively tells Arthur and the Wiseman that they can have the Middle Ages. All that Ash wants to do is go home. He does take a break from yearning for 1992 long enough to construct a mechanical iron hand to replace the one he lost in “Evil Dead 2.” He also puts aside his animosity towards Sheila (they had a rough start) and starts making it with the “Doth do maketh my heart warm with thy presence” sort of stuff.

I am not sure why Ash insists on returning to the present. Maybe he wants to avoid cholera, syphilis, and the Black Plague, but he will be doing that at the expense of a lot of quality time that could be spent eating grapes and wenching. Ah, wenching. Out of everything the Middle Ages stood for, I miss wenching the most. If you ever make it to 784 AD, make sure that you sample the wenches.

The Wiseman finally convinces Ash that the only way he can ever get back home is by undertaking a quest to recover the Necromonicon from a haunted graveyard. Now, Ash is an extremely groovy kind of guy, but he has a hard enough time staying out of Deadite-spawned trouble in his own living room. Mucking around in the land of the dead is going to have serious consequences. The first of those is that Ash gets chased around the haunted forest that is near the haunted graveyard by invisible motorcycles. The second issue created by Ash’s foray into the world of spirits, spells, and specters takes place inside an old windmill. A shattered mirror turns into a mob of tiny troublemaking Ash clones! They poke him with forks, drop things on his head, and generally make Ash wish that he had never had children of any sort. Once he gets the little hellions under control, Ash then has to deal with his alternate Deadite ego, Bad Ash.

One boomstick later, there is only one Ash standing. He is a bad-a**, but not Bad Ash.

Ash does finally reach the graveyard and recover the book (after dealing with two cursed imitation tomes). However, he does not correctly take possession of the Book of the Dead. Yep, Ash flubs “klaatu barada nikto.” As a result, the dead are woken from their endless sleep. Hundreds of skeletons assemble themselves into a massive army, with Bad Ash assuming command as the undead horde’s general. Now Lord Arthur has something worse than the proto-Scots and Deadite intrusions to deal with. Social Security was not created until the 20th Century; figuring out what to do about hundreds of the walking dead who refuse to stay in their graves is a big problem for a medieval noble.

Actually, Arthur and Ash decide to solve the problem the way that most problems were solved during the Middle Ages: they will have a battle!

To prepare for the battle, Ash and the other defenders of Arthur’s castle turn to the textbooks that were in the trunk of Ash’s car (the vehicle was also sucked back in time). I must say, Ash pursued some unusual subjects in college. How often does someone get to say, “That semester of ‘Steam Power 101’ really paid off!” in their life? Unfortunately, the hero has to make his preparations for Ragnarok without indulging in the time-honored tradition of pre-battle nookie, because Sheila is whisked away by a Deadite gargoyle. The next time that Ash sees his gentle lady, she is a Deadite witch and a real ball-breaker.

The Army of Darkness that attacks the castle finds itself on the receiving end of exploding arrows, catapult-lobbed bombs, and even a car that looks like the result of an Oldsmobile having sex with a windmill. Bones are crushed by the human defenders, but the walls are eventually breached, and Ash has a final skin-shedding reckoning with Bad Ash. The evil army is routed, and the only thing left for Ash to do is to go home to his own time. There are two different endings to this movie. In one, we see Ash back at S-Mart, defending the customers and employees from a surprise Deadite incursion. In the other, Ash hits the Rip Van Winkle bottle a little too much and sleeps well past doomsday.

I like “Evil Dead 2” more than “Army of Darkness.” Yet, this is an entertaining cult film. You could even call it a gruesomely groovy comedy. The movie is filled with Three Stooges-style slapstick, and the head-bangs and eye-pokes are so well done that I get nostalgic to watch some old Stooges’ shorts. Still, the reason that everybody loves Ash is that he has some great lines, the likes of which haven’t been seen since the Stallone and Schwarzenegger action films of the 1980s, and he delivers them with style.

Things I learned from this movie

Ash finds himself thrown back in time and must discover the modicum of generosity he never thought he had inside him by fending off hoards of skeleton soldiers and a hulking evil version of himself in order to protect a small but brave kingdom before returning back to present day.
  • In ye olde days “public transportation” meant being chained to the nobleman’s horse and dragged along behind him.
  • Knights often fall for the old “your shoelace is untied” trick.
  • Department store employees know how to construct robotic limbs.
  • The difference between an ear and a pancake is academic.
  • Stonehenge was a public library.
  • Never mumble the magic words.
  • Jay Leno’s chin is the product of an unfortunate childhood accident involving a vacuum.
  • No ex-girlfriend is worth wrecking your car over.
  • When wrestling a skeleton, always remember that they are vulnerable to the backbreaker.

Stuff To Watch For:

Army of Darkness.
  • 5 mins – You know, “The Gods Must Be Crazy” would have been more interesting if the main guy had found a chainsaw instead of that bottle.
  • 10 mins – That guy obviously suffered from high blood pressure.
  • 18 mins – Pretty cheap for a double-barreled shotgun. Hey, did the barrel length just change?
  • 21 mins – You sound like my grandmother.
  • 26 mins – Detroit?
  • 32 mins – We have gone from “The Amazing Colossal Man” to “Gulliver’s Travels” to “The Manster” and now we are on “The Incredible Two-Headed Transplant.” What is next, “The Birds?”
  • 38 mins – Oops, looks like you found the dreaded Hoovernomicon: The Book of the Suck.
  • 51 mins – For a moment there I was worried that a song was coming on.
  • 53 mins – Skeletal musicians: +1 combat result.
  • 65 mins – Amy Winehouse?

Conclusion

Army of Darkness.
It is, in a nutshell, a melding of two films: an Evil Dead film and a medieval fantasy action comedy. No one in their right mind would seriously consider the movie to be an outright horror film. Granted, it features some ingredients that would be right at home in a horror movie, but so much of what Raimi and company want to provide is far more along the lines of an action adventure story soaked in the sort of slapstick humour Raimi is known for being a humungous fan of. 

-popoptiq

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More escapist entertainment to get our minds off of the COVID-19 coronavirus lock-down emergency.

Here’s some more escapist, mostly upbeat or odd, movies to help release you from the insanity that has become our daily ritual. These movies and shows were not chosen because they were praised by critics, or because I was paid to recommend them (Under some kind of money-making scheme.). Instead they are generally, known (and forgotten) movies that have the ability to carry you away to another time and another place.

And that is what is important

Don’t you know.

To be able to carry you away to a different time, and a different place, and a different lifestyle.

And, in this case, for me… way way back to my 20’s. That in-between stage from during the transition from High School to adulthood. As a young man, being strong and healthy, and with options all over the place…

So when you watch these movies you can forget the life that you live now. You can forget your boss, the need to buy groceries, the dog wanting to go outside, and the bills piling up on the kitchen table. Instead you can escape to a quieter time; a time when things were simpler, and the entire world was yours for the taking.

It can transport you to a time when the “news” only lasted for thirty minutes, and just gave summarys of events, not panels of “experts” endlessly debating if Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches are racist.

It will transport you to a time when people seemed a little bit happier, a time when that grey storm cloud wasn’t hovering over their head, and a time when … well, it was possible for you to be anything you wanted to be.

We will start with a relatively unknown movie.

Hot Dog The Movie (1984)

This movie will absolutely cart you off to the 1980’s, to the land of ski lodges, big hair, and vibrant colors in the snowy mountains. It’s funny, silly, up-beat and has a positive up-lifting music track. All in all, perfect for these uncertain times.

Who knows what surprises you might discover when trapped inside a gondola with a "snow bunny"?
Who knows what surprises you might discover when trapped inside a gondola with a “snow bunny”?
Did you ever own white Vuarnet Cat Eyes? Are you stoked that padded ski sweaters are coming back in? Did you ever want to be the toast of Tahoe, ski all season long, party every night and hang out with a wacky bunch of ski bums with names like Thrasher and Squirrel?

Then check out this early 80's classic (I know, it came out in '84, but it's SO '82).

Harkin Banks is the wunderkind from the sticks who hooks up with Dan O'Callahan. Dan is the good time Squaw Valley veteran who's a permanent fixture on the competitive ski scene, sharing slopes and hot tubs with his party hardy co-horts: the nutty Squirrel Murphy, who digs zinc oxide, sexy ski bunnies and long gondola rides; Kendo Yamamoto, who doesn't speak much English, but can tear down the mountain like a Kamakaze; punk rocker, Thrasher, who dances to his own tune, even at parties; and a host of semi-nameless others.
The "rat pack", just some friends that want to ski, drink and have fun together. What's so wrong about that?
The “rat pack”, just some friends that want to ski, drink and have fun together. What’s so wrong about that?
But what would a crazy party flick be without some bad guys?

Enter Rudy Garmisch, zee Austrian ski champ and nemesis of the Squaw Valley locals. He and his loyal "Rudettes", mostly nameless guys and fraulines also from zee Austrian slopes, push some of the locals out of the upcoming competition with promises of good television ratings and new sponsorships from internationally minded companies.

Uh-oh, ol' Dan's not happy with that at all!

Toss in a battle over a cute blonde runaway, Sunny, and you have a recipe for trouble on the slopes.
Oh. I had Sonny-side-up. Und, I had Sonny-side-down. Und, I had Sonny-side all zee way around!
Oh. I had Sunny-side-up. Und, I had Sunny-side-down. Und, I had Sunny-side all zee way around!
Not to worry, all's well that ends well. After all, what tiff can't be settled over a friendly game of Chinese Downhill? Not sure you wanna play? No worries…there's nothing one of Dan's famous "Leg Spreader" cocktails can't fix. 

And to top it all off, there's some fantastic ski footage set to even more fantastic early 80's music. Why they even bothered to make Ski School in the early 90's was a mystery to me - how could they do the ski party flick any better than Hot Dog? 

Surprisingly enough it was also pretty damn good. But Hot Dog: The Movie is still the original and the best.

THE classic early 80's ski flick 
colparker4 February 2003
It's a movie about sun, fun and friends. It's about having fun and just enjoying life. Oh, and by the way, there isn't any sort of political correctness either. It's PC free - you all!
It’s a movie about sun, fun and friends. It’s about having fun and just enjoying life. Oh, and by the way, there isn’t any sort of political correctness either. It’s PC free – you all!

You don’t need to know how to sky to appreciate this movie. It’s just a lot of fun, a lot of smiles, and just some good old vibes.

"What the fuck is a Chinese downhill?"

You are not going to be sad after watching this movie. Instead you will be in a good joyous mood and wondering just why… why you never took up skiing.

Risky Business (1983)

Just about everyone of my generation knows this movie. It’s the movie that made Tom Cruse the screen actor that he is today. But let’s be real. When was the last time you watched it?

For me, It’s been at least a decade, perhaps two. And I have talked to some of the younger folk who have never heard of this masterpiece. Can you believe it?

Well, for some fun, I downloaded the torrent and checked it out. (My betaMAX tape is lost somewhere under a pile of dusty boxes.)

It took me away.

It blew me away.

On a number of really curious levels…

As a young businessman he learns how to manage time and resources. He tries to keep his overhead down, while maximizing the profits.
As a young businessman he learns how to manage time and resources. He tries to keep his overhead down, while maximizing the profits. Look at how young Tom Cruse is.

Well, after decades, I finally sat down and re-watched this. And ohhhh there were so many things that I had forgotten, and so many things that I can see with my older eyes of experience. It will carry you back to a time long ago when business opportunities can just fall right into your lap, unplanned and ultimately successful.

It’s partially remembering what it was like having the entire house to yourself when your parents are away…

…and it’s partially about exploring what it’s like to have a relationship with a strong and positive female…

… and it’s partially about what it was like before the decades of greed and spite took over America.

fun, funny, and smart 
8 February 2003 | by pompaj 

Most funny comedies aren't very smart. They're funny because of individual jokes that play by themselves, without relying on the overall plot. Risky Business is an exception and the reason why it works so well, is because it tells a simple story that could really happen and would also be a lot of fun. 

You're a high school kid, your parents go on vacation for a week, leaving you the whole house to yourself. That's the setup. 

A friend calls up a call girl, she shows up, and the entertainment begins. 

This movie is smart enough to know what kids think about at that age, sex, and it holds nothing back. It is very clever at times and has a strong character in Joel, played by a young, energetic Tom Cruise. Another thing that this movie understands is mood and tempo. Everything hits the right beat. Smart and funny is an ideal combination and this movie achieves it.
Risky Business is all about a young man who learns about how to make and manage money with a female partner.
Risky Business is all about a young man who learns about how to make and manage money with a female partner. He handles finances, and she handles operations and labor.

The thing is, this movie not only takes you back to another place…

… but it gives you context. You can see what transpired in the last four decades and your experiences, right or wrong. It will give you an appreciation of things at so many levels. It’s worth a re-viewing.

"Money may not buy happiness, but it will buy the things that will Make you happy" 
mercuryix-121 December 2006

There are too many reviews of Risky Business for mine to have any relevance as a movie review. However, this movie is for me a time capsule of the era I saw it in, and a photograph of the future to come in American culture.

I saw this movie when I was 22 in a tiny college theater with a date. I remember several disconnected things about it: The movie was much more interesting than my date was, the music by Tangerine Dream was hypnotic and fit the tone of the film, which struck me as being more depressing in places than funny (although there are some funny moments in it), and it gave me a glimpse into a world that I thought was fictional. 

It turned out I hadn't experienced the world it was presenting yet. 

When Cruise asks his friends what they plan to do with their lives, one's answer is very simple and focused: "Make money". Another friend adds: "Make a LOT of money".
I well remember that when the movie first came out, I was amazed at the idea of a cordless phone.
I well remember that when the movie first came out, I was amazed at the idea of a cordless phone. Here we have a scene where his friend is pushing the idea of calling in a prostitute for the night.
It turns out the movie was precognizant of the next ten to twenty years of American culture; the absolute obsession with making money through any means necessary, legally or illegally, regardless of consequences to yourself or others. 

Then taking that money and buying the things that will make you happy: a porsche, a big house, and most importantly, a hot babe in your bed, that will only be there as long as the money is. 

Internally discovered happiness? A quaint notion created by the poor who can't afford the toys that validate your existence.

I am sure that the filmmaker would be the first to say that the movie parodies the hollowness of the "American Dream" of acquiring wealth to buy creature comforts, but too much of the time it feels like it celebrates them. 

At the end, the hooker stays Cruise's girlfriend only as long as he continues to make her money; she even says "I'll be your girlfriend...for a while". 

Real loyalty there. But then, she is a hooker, and is being honest. 

She in fact is presented as the only person in the film that is not a hypocrite. 

She has no illusions that money & sex make the American world go 'round, and doesn't pretend herself to be otherwise; unlike Cruise and the rest of his friends. 

In the end however, she is still hollow, the values the kids pursue are hollow (they are only after sex, not love), and the movie feels as deep and solid as a glossy magazine ad for a Lexus.
Ah. His "partner" has a love for night time rides on subway trains.
Ah. His “partner” has a love for night time rides on subway trains. The scene, the music and the situation are all hypnotic.
Even over the obsession of greed, however, the film illustrates the complete alienation of the modern American teenage male: alone, isolated, judged by his peers with the kind of car his dad lets him drive, his clothes, and whether he can get laid or not. 

The emphasis is on sex, not relationship. 

There is no rite of passage into adulthood, no guidance from parents who more often than not are as distant from their children as the cardboard cutout parents in this film.

In short, as depressing as this film is when you step back from it, it paints a frighteningly accurate portrait of how superficial and narrow a world, yet directionless (except for accumulating superficial wealth) a young boy's world can be. 

There are no values taught in this film, because there are none available as examples. And that is the environment too many kids are subject to. That is what was so disturbing to me about the film at the time I saw it, yet it took 20 years to understand why (as I was, like most kids my age, in the same vacuous and bankrupt culture this kid was in at the time).

There are 300% more suicides committed by 14 year old boys in America than any other age group or category. This movie explains why.

Seven stars, not for humor, but for photographing the beginning of an era that lasts until this day. The message from Enron, WorldCom, Martha Stewart and others for American kids will be: Don't get caught. A message which is slowly becoming the only "moral direction" left in American culture.

This move will not only take you back forty years to a time where your reality was something quite different, but it will give you perspective in the reality that you now inhabit. And at that, this movie is worth viewing again.

One Crazy Summer

Here’s a fine 1980’s escape. It’s got what we all need today…

No, I’m not talking about super heroes that got bitten by a radioactive spider, guys dressed in black trooping around in flack vests and holding assault guns, or super-dooper CGI special effect animation. I’m not talking about bullets that hang in the air, or magical powers that you can use to push people away with the wave of your hand. You won’t find ugly monsters or effeminate millennial men trying to get a woman to seduce them…

This movie is about silliness on the beach.

It is politically incorrect, very dated, and outrageously stupid. It is precisely what America needs right now.

The cast of "One Crazy Summer" hams it up for a group portrait.
The cast of “One Crazy Summer” hams it up for a group portrait. The 1980’s were a time of many things, but one of the things of value was that Hollywood has reached it’s stride. From the 1980’s into the 1990’s Hollywood produced a broad range of movies Movies that catered to average people. Not movies that targeted a set demographic or political interest.

It’s a simple fact that there are many of us from generations from long ago who grew up loving those loopy John Cusack comedies made by Savage Steve Holland. And while I prefer there other more bizarre, out-there flick, Better Off Dead, it’s hard for me to dislike One Crazy Summer.

This is a movie I grew up loving wholeheartedly.

One Crazy Summer was a follow-up to Better Off Dead, returning Cusack and Curtis Armstrong from that film.

I cannot say enough good things about this movie. From the warped mind of Savage Steve Holland comes this superior laughfest. First, I have to say that I haven't seen many movies that start out with a David Lee Roth tune. This could be a good or bad thing.
I cannot say enough good things about this movie. From the warped mind of Savage Steve Holland comes this superior laughfest. First, I have to say that I haven’t seen many movies that start out with a David Lee Roth tune. This could be a good or bad thing.

Cusack is Hoops, following graduation pal Joel Murray(George)to Nantucket for the summer to each some fun on the beach. He picks up his kid sister from “Generic Elementary” school with her sick dog and the adventure begins…

Hoops finds himself embroiled in a feud with a blonde, buff punk named Teddy Beckersted whose lecherous father has designs on bulldozing over homes of a neighborhood to build a giant condominium. Sigh. So 1980’s.

One of the homes, needing it’s mortgage repaid belongs to Demi Moore (Cassandra). Yikes!

However, there’s a sailboat race. And it might be their only hope of saving Cassandra’s grandfather’s home. You see it has been won by Teddy over the past many years and they need to fight for it. Yet, Hoops is deathly afraid of boats over water.

But, with the help and motivation of newfound Nantucket friends (..such as the goofy auto-mechanic twin brothers!), George, and budding love-interest Cassandra, perhaps Hoops can come to terms with his fears and win the race to save the neighborhood.

Armstrong has a supporting part as the son of a kooky, manic weapons salesman, General Raymond(..SCTV’s Joe Flaherty in an inspired bit of casting), Ack, who uses the training from his father to assist Hoops and company in their goals to win the race.

 This movie is all about leaving your troubles behind and getting away for the summer to Nantucket. Hoops is afraid of boats, but has no choice when his friend George launches his clunker onto the ferry at the last minute. He shacks up with future love interest Demi Moore, the worst actress in history. But she is pretty young and 80's looking in this one. They finally hit mainland and meet a whole host of odd characters.
This movie is all about leaving your troubles behind and getting away for the summer to Nantucket. Hoops is afraid of boats, but has no choice when his friend George launches his clunker onto the ferry at the last minute. He shacks up with future love interest Demi Moore, the worst actress in history. But she is pretty young and 80’s looking in this one. They finally hit mainland and meet a whole host of odd characters.

Memorable scenes include Bobcat getting stuck in a Godzilla suit (!) running rampant across an entire model of Aguilla. I love how the smoke and fire is coming out of his mouth as he does so (a cigar was thrown into his costume), and the Japanese investor loving the presentation.

Beckersted (Mark Metcalf, barely recognizable as Teddy’s rather unhinged pops)’s condominium…

… Hoops being chased by deranged cub scouts wishing to perform first aid…

… George a victim of toxic flatulence…

… Bruce Wagner’s nutty Uncle Frank’s increasing insanity every time he tries to better his chances to win 1 million dollars from a radio show…

… and the wonderful Billie Bird as George’s grandma who actually bills the group after a meal!

Jeremy Piven as(you guessed it)a brutish jerk who associates with Teddy and causes trouble for Hoops and his posse, the yummy Kimberly Foster as Cookie (..Teddy’s girl who attempts to make-out with Hoops while he attends a luncheon with his father), and the one-and-only William Hickey as Old Man Beckersted, who will not reward his son and grandson an inheritance if they lose the sail boat race.

Demi Moore is cute, but this is Cusack’s vehicle, though Bobcat and Villard steal most of the scenes their in.

Again, some delightful animation from Holland are sprinkled throughout the movie (Hoops is an artist, appropriately).

The movie comes to a happy ending via boat race on the lovely waters of Nantucket. Cusack and co. build a riff raff boat and blow everyone out of the water, despite some unfair play along the way. So they get the trophy, house, and Cusack ends up in a liplock with Demi. Despite the cheesey story, there are some really funny moments in this one. Some of my personal favorites are: the guy getting stabbed during the hat toss at graduation, Uncle Frank getting launched out of the bathroom window, and Bobcat getting stuck in a Godzilla costume.
The movie comes to a happy ending via boat race on the lovely waters of Nantucket. Cusack and co. build a riff raff boat and blow everyone out of the water, despite some unfair play along the way. So they get the trophy, house, and Cusack ends up in a lip-lock with Demi. Despite the cheesy story, there are some really funny moments in this one. Some of my personal favorites are: the guy getting stabbed during the hat toss at graduation, Uncle Frank getting launched out of the bathroom window, and Bobcat getting stuck in a Godzilla costume.

Dream a Little Dream (1989)

Sometimes a movie can take you back… way… way back to a time that you have almost no recollection of. Can you remember what it was like when you were 14, 15 or even 16 years old?

An accident puts the consciousness of an elderly dream researcher into the body of a bratty teenager. The problem? The kid prefers dreamworld limbo to real life.

-IMDB

There, in the tumultuous middle school years we have forgotten what it was like. For, and that is true for most young people, don’t really come into their own until their final years in High School.

This movie will transport you to that time.

And at that, it is valuable. On that reason alone.

The lives of a crusty old scientist and a bratty, teen Michael-Jackson-wannabe are about to intersect in a paranormal way. Coleman Ettinger seeks to break down the door of reality through studied dreaming; Bobby Keller wants Lainie Diamond, the girlfriend of his high school friend Joel, a handsome school jock. As Coleman persuades his wife Gena to join his experiments, an accident knocks their bodies out of existence, along with Bobby's consciousness. Coleman's consciousness winds up in Bobby's body while Gena's ends up buried and asleep inside Lainie's. Only when sleeping can Coleman contact Bobby and elicit his help in putting things back, except that Bobby smugly prefers limbo over his aggravated life as a modern teenager.

-IMDB
This movie will teleport you back to your middle school years.
This movie will teleport you back to your middle school years.

Bizarre dream sequences are only a small part of this fabulous fantasy comedy starring Corey Feldman, Corey Haim, Jason Robards, Piper Laurie, and Meredith Salenger.

Bobby Keller (Corey Feldman) lives his life day to day, as he puts it. He is failing all his classes, his parents don’t talk to him, and he is head over heels in love with Lainie (Meredith Salenger), although he dates Shelly.

But, an accident involving Bobby and Lainie and Coleman and Geena (Jason Robards and Piper Laurie) causes Coleman to take over Bobby’s mind and body, and part of Geena’s mind takes over Lainie.

Now, Coleman has to find a way to switch back and get his wife back. But, Bobby isn’t so willing to, unless Coleman can correct his screwed-up existance, while helping him to get Lainie.

Lainie was a "hottie" in the movie.
Lainie was a “hottie” in the movie.
A Touching Film 
crice-149 July 2009

It's difficult to me to review this film, for the simple reason that I was 15 when I saw this movie. It was made for me. It was made for teenagers trying to figure out life, love, getting into college, and dealing with adults. I loved it.

It was the best by far of the "body-switching" genre that seemed to dominate the 1987-1990 period, but rarely was a teen drama tackled with more earnestness and via such a bizarre but interesting plot. Whatever the reason, it works and instead of being just another body switch comedy or teen fluff, it truly becomes a beautiful film that deserves its cult status.

Favorite scenes: The opening scene intercut with the opening credits involving Bobby and Dinger (Corey Haim) talking about Bobby’s infatuation with Lainie…

… as well as singing the blues and why Dinger’s leg was broken (reason: his mom ran him over with her Volvo)…

… the accident scene, the dream sequences, the scene where Bobby discovers that he’s Coleman…

… and when they were having a hard time going to sleep…

… the scene in the gym when they were dancing to the rock version of “Dream a Little Dream of Me”, and the closing credits with Bobby and Coleman dancing to the same song.

Just handing out with your high school friends. It was a different time and your worries and concerns were all quite different then.
Just handing out with your high school friends. It was a different time and your worries and concerns were all quite different then.

This was a wonderfully romantic movie with an original plot. It was adorable, and Corey Feldman was kinda cute, despite the Michael Jackson look, something he was into for a few years.

The Dream sequences were really interesting, filmed in a strange blue tint.

The movie also had an interesting plot, and great music (especially Frank Sinatra’s “Young at Heart” and both versions on “Dream a Little Dream of Me.”).

I highly recommend it to anyone who likes the two Coreys, good acting, creativity, or body switching movies.

Better Off Dead… (1985)

This is another movie that I had on BetaMAX.

But it’s a true classic.

I well remember when I first viewed it. I was in Ridgecrest, California, and I had gotten off the base at the China Lake Naval Weapons Center, and pulled into the video rental store in a strip mall right outside the main gate. When I walked in, they had this movie playing and everyone was standing in the shop watching it. So I asked what the movie was, and then I went and rented it right there and then.

I should go as far as to say that all the John Cusack movies from the 1980’s are fine escapist flicks today. All of them are silly, charming and sweet. Nothing is too serious. Nothing is too dangerous…

… and there are no superheroes!

There are also no gun fights, no SWAT teams dressed in black, no making fun of traditional roles… no gays… no lesbians… not transgenders… no CGI monsters, or special effects where people can jump to the top of a building. None of that nonsense.

You won’t be assaulted by “role reversals” and insulted by snide anti-male jokes.

It’s all just good fun.

This one's hilarious! My family have borrowed several lines from this film and use them as inside jokes. John Cusak stars in this film about a teenager whose girlfriend dumps him for the Captain of the ski team. The film has enough skiing in it to satisfy most ski buffs, but it's not really about skiing. It's about relationships more than anything and the results are absolutely hilarious.
This one’s hilarious! My family have borrowed several lines from this film and use them as inside jokes. John Cusak stars in this film about a teenager whose girlfriend dumps him for the Captain of the ski team. The film has enough skiing in it to satisfy most ski buffs, but it’s not really about skiing. It’s about relationships more than anything and the results are absolutely hilarious.

What makes this a cut above is the composition of sight gags — ‘How to build a space shuttle out of household items’ is in the foreground, and then the eye pulls back to reveal the mother battling a sea monster in a pot, which frustrates her attempt to cook it…

Cusack frets over an impossibly broken binding, and in the same frame the ‘paperboy from hell’ appears on a weatherized delivery bicycle…it’s priceless stuff.

This is one of those movies where you are with your friends twenty years later and go, "I WANT MY TWO DOLLARS" and the room jocularly erupts and instigates discussion. If you find yourself easily amused, can see the humor in the way life hands you a sour glass of milk to wash down life's trials in love, then you MUST see this Classic Movie.
This is one of those movies where you are with your friends twenty years later and go, “I WANT MY TWO DOLLARS” and the room jocularly erupts and instigates discussion. If you find yourself easily amused, can see the humor in the way life hands you a sour glass of milk to wash down life’s trials in love, then you MUST see this Classic Movie.

Better Off Dead is the zaniest movie that I think I have ever seen. Let’s just recap what this movie has in it.

  • We have a guy that attempts suicide but he can’t even succeed at that.
  • There is his best friend that declares that a mountain they are on in the dead of winter is pure snow, saying ” Do you know what the street value of this is?”
  • We have a father that is trying to speak the lingo of his kids and fails miserably.
  • A mom that cooks food that literally slides off it’s plate.
  • We have a math class full of genius’ that get upset when they don’t have homework to do.
  • Lane has a younger brother who orders books on how to pick up trashy women and learns how to build rockets.
  • We have the entire male population ( and Barney Rubble ) that wants to go out with Lane’s ex-girlfriend now that they are broken up.
  • There is two Oriental guys that want to constantly race Lane and then broadcast it over the loud speaker on their car.
  • There is Porky from the Porky’s movies basically playing the same role here.
  • Dancing hamburgers.
  • A basketball team that grunts.
  • And of course the most relentless paper boy in the history of paper delivery…
If there was ever a role that John Cusack milked until it mooed, this one would have to have been it. His portrayal of Lane Meyer will forever be remembered in high school lore as the Ultimate Champion of the Underdog. I laughed so hard my sides ached and tears were running down my cheeks. What has long been a cult classic, this film did an excellent job of portraying the awkwardness of those teenage years that all adults thank God every day that we now have behind us.
If there was ever a role that John Cusack milked until it mooed, this one would have to have been it. His portrayal of Lane Meyer will forever be remembered in high school lore as the Ultimate Champion of the Underdog. I laughed so hard my sides ached and tears were running down my cheeks. What has long been a cult classic, this film did an excellent job of portraying the awkwardness of those teenage years that all adults thank God every day that we now have behind us.

Whoooooooo! I’m out of breath.

So why do I mention all of these things about the movie? Because all of these little issues combine to somehow make one of the funniest and zaniest movies you will ever see.

Better Off Dead is so full of energy that there is enough material in here for ten movies. But Savage Steve Holland makes it work. Don’t ask me how, but he does. I think I’m going to stop here because if you haven’t seen this movie you have to see it now. This is a completely original film and it also one that no one will ever have the guts to make again.

This is one hell of a film.

Captain Ron (1992)

Captain Ron* - (I think I'll have a…   ...a Margarita!)

-The best movies of 1992

Are you tired of the daily grind? Do you want to have some adventure and excitement in your life? Most men in their 30’s would ascribe to this sentiment. And it is exactly this that makes this next movie so special.

What happens when you are living the married life, the life with a job and a boss? When you are playing the role as a father at home, and a worker at your work? Is that all there is to life, you ask?

Maybe you dream about chucking it all way…

Hopping on a steam tramp and going somewhere… anywhere… other than here.

You need a break, a vacation a… reset.

Ya! This is pretty common in America. The society and laws are all pretty repressive. No vacation for you, and pay your taxes, and everything else. You can relax by watching movies that make fun of you. That’s your reality. Deal with it.

OK. I’m not going to elaborate more than what all this means. You all need to take a break and a vacation from life right now. You need to get out and have some fun. You need more than just a change. You need a slap in the face change…

Adulthood has lots of perks: No more homework, you really can eat whatever you want, and you eventually become a good 90 percent less angsty. However, one major drawback is you no longer get a spring break (or a summer break, for that matter). Being an adult means work never stops and vacations are rare. But! That doesn't mean you can't still vicariously enjoy spring break through your favorite movies. Is it the same as escaping to a pristine beach? No... but it is cheaper, so there's that.

There are awesome spring break movies from every era, but the '90s in particular were big on vacation movies. While not all of them focused on spring break, they did showcase the joys of travel, downtime, and relaxation. Basically, all the things you can't just drop everything and do on a whim because you have responsibilities now. Bask in the joy of those simpler times when you naively thought summer would never end and life really could just be one long vacation in the sun by planning a spring break movie night with your closest friends.

Make mixed drinks with tiny umbrellas and throw pillows all over the floor slumber party style as you watch one of these '90s gems — after all, you are an adult and while you may not get a designated spring break, you make your own rules now.

Movies about vacations gone awry are my favorite kind of movies. In real life, you want your vacation to go smoothly, but watching a movie family's vacation go from crazy to crazier is always hilarious. Captain Ron is no exception. Watching Martin Short get shown up by the cooler than cool Captain Ron during his own family vacation is a madcap story that might just make you glad you have to work all spring.

-Bustle

Let’s look at a forgotten gem of a movie… Captain Ron.

A family in Chicago inherits the yacht formerly owned by Clark Gable. They decide to sail it from the island of Ste. Pomme de Terre to Miami, and they sail with the assistance of Captain Ron and their lives will never be the same again
'Captain Ron' is a great movie! The plot is simple, & so is the movie. That is what make sit so much fun. Yes, most of the movie is translucent, but it works so well. Kurt Russell shines as Capt. Ron Rico, who has been hired by the Harvey family to be the drive their boat from a Carribean Island to Miami, FL. While he bumbles from one scene to the other, Capt. Ron manages to be successful in the end. All of this makes Martin Harvey(Martin Short) furious, while his family loves Capt. Ron.
‘Captain Ron’ is a great movie! The plot is simple, & so is the movie. That is what make sit so much fun. Yes, most of the movie is translucent, but it works so well. Kurt Russell shines as Capt. Ron Rico, who has been hired by the Harvey family to be the drive their boat from a Carribean Island to Miami, FL. While he bumbles from one scene to the other, Capt. Ron manages to be successful in the end. All of this makes Martin Harvey(Martin Short) furious, while his family loves Capt. Ron.

This is wonderful movie, one of my favorite movies of all time! A family inherits a sailboat and decides to flee the urban rat race. They don’t realize that they will have to over come many hurdles, including aspects of them selves, Capt. Ron, the boat and the environment.

The daughter plays a teenager that is simultaneously apathetic and nearly out of control. The son is a kid who hasn’t taken an interest in life until now. The father assumes that Capt. Ron can’t know anything while the family begins to believe that it’s the father who doesn’t know anything.

This movie was one of the triggers to me moving to a tropical island to live, oh and to buy a boat.

This film has a little bit of everything in it. Adventure, pirates, lots of excitement, and plenty of laughs. It is one of the most enjoyable movies I've watched. If you just want to relax and sit back and laugh, CAPTAIN RON is a movie you won't want to miss.
This film has a little bit of everything in it. Adventure, pirates, lots of excitement, and plenty of laughs. It is one of the most enjoyable movies I’ve watched. If you just want to relax and sit back and laugh, CAPTAIN RON is a movie you won’t want to miss.

I don’t understand the many poor reviews I have seen from the “professional reviewers”. I think this movie is incredibly funny in a quiet sort of way. I have seen it many times. It reminds me of the many Jackie Gleason Honeymooners I have seen over and over. I know what punch line is coming and I begin laughing before the punch line is even delivered.

Martin Short is not his usual manic self and this is refreshing. Kurt Russell is a master as he plays against the heroic roles he has played so often.

The play of the use of “gorillas” versus “guerillas” is laid back genius.

By the end of the movie, I actually found myself nostalgic for the sense of freedom and fun that only Captain Ron can steer you towards
By the end of the movie, I actually found myself nostalgic for the sense of freedom and fun that only Captain Ron can steer you towards

Ignore all the stuffed shirt, up-tight pinheads who couldn’t loosen up if a gun was held to their collective heads. Treat this movie as it should be…FUN! This is the film that keeps us going through the winter until sailing season…then we take the video along on board.

Martin Short and Kurt Russell are TERRIFIC together, and Mary Kay Place? Who’d have known what a versatile actress she is, after all, most of us only had Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman to judge her by. The kids certainly do add a fine finishing touch to this hilarious crew.

This movie was not created to win an academy award, it was created to be lighthearted and fun and it far exceeded that goal.

Every time i want to laugh, when i see this movie on, i catch a glimpse. This movie is guaranteed to make you laugh. And Mary Kay Place is such EYE candy for us men. She represents the type of woman we men would ask to marry. Beautiful yet supportive of her family and children.
Every time i want to laugh, when I see this movie on, I catch a glimpse. This movie is guaranteed to make you laugh. And Mary Kay Place is such EYE candy for us men. She represents the type of woman we men would ask to marry. Beautiful yet supportive of her family and children.

Kurt Russell is THE man! One of the most under appreciated actors in Hollywood, Russell takes what would have been a run of the mill comedy and makes it HILARIOUS!!!

Captain Ron Rico is about as laid back as laid back can be. He’s an ex Navy boat driver whose been through one too many squalls, not to mention a stint in rehab. A treasure chest of worldly knowledge, he’s never at a loss to relate his exploits even when it comes to his glass eye, “Won it in a crap game a few years back.”

At first glance he’s a man you wouldn’t trust to float an inner tube, but as he proves to Martin Short throughout the course of the movie, he’s “far more cunning than first suspected.”

After all, you gotta love a guy who as he’s sipping beer with Short’s young son, he tells the young lad that he just caught his parents “Playing hide-the-salami in the shower.” I crack up just writing about it.

This is a very funny movie that never really hit the headlines. No idea why, but maybe because I am a sailor myself, I can appreciate the humour. Well worth watching if you want to lose yourself in the Caribbean lifestyle from your cold and damp apartment in winter.
This is a very funny movie that never really hit the headlines. No idea why, but maybe because I am a sailor myself, I can appreciate the humor. Well worth watching if you want to lose yourself in the Caribbean lifestyle from your cold and damp apartment in winter.

But besides Russell’s stellar performance, there’s BEAUTIFUL locations and photography, a catchy reggae soundtrack, and enough laughs from the rest of the cast to make this a most enjoyable film to pop a bowl of popcorn to and enjoy with the family.

As for me….I wanna go out drinkin’ with Captain Ron!

‘There’s Something About Mary’ (1998)

This movie was filed in Woonsockett, RI when I was actually living there. Which is a pretty old blue collar town, quiet and kind of boarded up. “Going to seed”, some might say.

This movie is great escapist fare.

Thirteen years ago, Ted (Ben Stiller) landed a prom date with the most popular and beautiful girl in school, Mary (Cameron Diaz). Unfortunately, the date wasn’t meant to be, for Ted has his manhood damaged right in front of Mary, and ends up in the hospital instead of the prom.

Owwww!

What makes this work...is its a dead-on hard hitting comedy. The Farrley Brothers spared no one: male or female, handicapped or able bodied, black or white, rich or poor, job or not, straight or gay, animal or vegetable, blonde or brunette, educated or not. It is NOT a cinematic masterpiece so don't look for one, it is not a punch line comedy or slapstick comedy, it is sophomore humor done very well because you're going to be laughing at what you think you shouldn't no matter how much you want to say you would never laugh at something like that.
What makes this work…is its a dead-on hard hitting comedy. The Farrley Brothers spared no one: male or female, handicapped or able bodied, black or white, rich or poor, job or not, straight or gay, animal or vegetable, blonde or brunette, educated or not. It is NOT a cinematic masterpiece so don’t look for one, it is not a punch line comedy or slapstick comedy, it is sophomore humor done very well because you’re going to be laughing at what you think you shouldn’t no matter how much you want to say you would never laugh at something like that.

Thirteen years later, Ted decides to track Mary down, and have a second chance with his dream girl. He hires sleazy private eye, Pat (Matt Dillon) to find her for him.

Pat finds her, and she’s grown up beautiful.

Pat decides he wants to date her. He stalks her, finds out everything she wants in a man, and poses as just that. Meanwhile, Ted has been led to believe that Mary has become fat white trash in a wheelchair. Pat and Mary start dating.

The Farrley Brothers added in "some things" that...well... may have just happened to you at some point in your adolescence, and put a comedic/gross quality to it that shocks you into laughing at it. All through the film you might laugh because you're thinking, "Better them than me".....even if it was you!
The Farrley Brothers added in “some things” that…well… may have just happened to you at some point in your adolescence, and put a comedic/gross quality to it that shocks you into laughing at it. All through the film you might laugh because you’re thinking, “Better them than me”…..even if it was you!

Well, by the end of the movie, every man who is involved in the story has tried to make a move on Mary.

We all know how it ends, but it’s one funny ride.

The funniest gag in the movie involves a NEW brand of HAIR GEL (compliments of Ted, and tested by Mary). I won’t tell you what’s really being mistaken for hair gel, but when you find out, you’ll laugh so hard, you gag.

Not for eveyone's taste, even those who think they know comedy, but this is that kinda comedy that is hard to do once you've reached maturity and forgotten what it was like to laugh at simple things. This is as simple as it gets. Don't put too much into it, it is what it is, and to me, it was really funny!
Not for everyone’s taste, even those who think they know comedy, but this is that kinda comedy that is hard to do once you’ve reached maturity and forgotten what it was like to laugh at simple things. This is as simple as it gets. Don’t put too much into it, it is what it is, and to me, it was really funny!

This movie knows what a comedy of this type should be like. Each gag goes somewhere, and is really big. They’re usually extended scenes with punchlines.

Me, Myself, and Irene goes for the cheapest laughs you can find, but There’s Something About Mary takes it’s time, carefully planning each gag, in order to make it gut-bustingly hilarious. That’s just what this movie is. 10/10.

‘Wayne’s World’ (1992)

Maybe you might have forgotten this flick. But, I’ll bet you that you can remember some scenes as clear as a bright day on a fresh Spring morning.

This is a positive and happy, and yet terribly silly movie that is just perfect for these dark times of fear and uncertainty.

Wayne is still living at home. He has a world class collection of name tags from jobs he's tried, but he does have his own public access TV show. A local station decides to hire him and his sidekick, Garth, to do their show professionally and Wayne & Garth find that life is no longer the same...
This is the film that catapulted both comedians' careers into the stratosphere. 1992 is an interesting time in alternative rock history between the peak of grunge in 1991, and the coming crest of the "punk revival" in 1994 with Green Day, Offspring and Rancid. Wayne's World reveled in this new "alternative rock," music a concept which was at the time much more flexible than it is now. Rife with irony, alternative rock was eventually the name given to the music that blended aspects of rock, metal, punk, pop, and eclectic "weirdness." While Wayne is the more metal half of the excellent duo, Garth is the grunge/nerd/"punk" side of the equation.
This is the film that catapulted both comedians’ careers into the stratosphere. 1992 is an interesting time in alternative rock history between the peak of grunge in 1991, and the coming crest of the “punk revival” in 1994 with Green Day, Offspring and Rancid. Wayne’s World reveled in this new “alternative rock,” music a concept which was at the time much more flexible than it is now. Rife with irony, alternative rock was eventually the name given to the music that blended aspects of rock, metal, punk, pop, and eclectic “weirdness.” While Wayne is the more metal half of the excellent duo, Garth is the grunge/nerd/”punk” side of the equation.

Ask most men within a decade of my age in either direction to list the 100 best movie scenes of all time, and the scene from “Wayne’s World” where they sing/lip sync Bohemian Rhapsody in the car will be on more lists than not.

Heck! It might even make every list.

Not designed for the “critically acclaimed” snob set, Wayne’s World, the film adaptation of the extremely popular Saturday Night Live skit by the same name, targets its audience perfectly and never even enters the water, let alone jumps any sharks.

The movie is true to itself from start to finish.

Heavy metal rock and roll fandom provides the backdrop for a non-stop train wreck of social satire. Only in 1992; and only in Meyer's and Carvey's comedic genius could Aurora, Illinois ever seem so cool. Wayne's World, in the film's plot, is the name of a Cable Access television show (dare I say "DIY") hosted by Wayne Campbell and Garth Algar. Rob Lowe plays Benjamin, an advertising scout/producer who is looking for talent to promote a chain of video game arcade stores. He finds his muse in the low-brow witticism, promptly signs the boys, and sets them up in a proper television studio.
Heavy metal rock and roll fandom provides the backdrop for a non-stop train wreck of social satire. Only in 1992; and only in Meyer’s and Carvey’s comedic genius could Aurora, Illinois ever seem so cool.

The plot centers around an opportunistic television producer named Benjamin Kane (Rob Lowe), who, with funding from an arcade owner, turns Wayne’s World into a slickly produced national show.

You would think that this would be a good thing. But alas, it’s not.

The transition caused it to lose touch with its audience, and causing friction between Wayne and Garth, who feel they have sold out their fans and their roots.

A love interest is tossed to Wayne in the form of Cassandra (Tia Carerre), in triangular form due to the attention paid to her by Kane as well as Wayne.

Rob Lowe was excellent as the sleazeball junior television executive, while cameos abound from the rock world, including Alice Cooper and Meat Loaf. Though not publicized as much as the other quotables from the movie, my personal favorite scene was when Wayne and Garth were each laying on parked cars, and Garth starts whistling the closing theme from Star Trek.
Rob Lowe was excellent as the sleazeball junior television executive, while cameos abound from the rock world, including Alice Cooper and Meat Loaf. Though not publicized as much as the other quotables from the movie, my personal favorite scene was when Wayne and Garth were each laying on parked cars, and Garth starts whistling the closing theme from Star Trek.

The pop-culture cuisinart responsible for most of the SNL skits was working in overdrive in this film, and that’s a good thing. Everything from product placements, to gratuitous sex, to lame plot devices were lampooned.

 Wayne's World, in the film's plot, is the name of a Cable Access television show (dare I say "DIY") hosted by Wayne Campbell and Garth Algar. Rob Lowe plays Benjamin, an advertising scout/producer who is looking for talent to promote a chain of video game arcade stores. He finds his muse in the low-brow witticism, promptly signs the boys, and sets them up in a proper television studio.
Wayne’s World, in the film’s plot, is the name of a Cable Access television show (dare I say “DIY”) hosted by Wayne Campbell and Garth Algar. Rob Lowe plays Benjamin, an advertising scout/producer who is looking for talent to promote a chain of video game arcade stores. He finds his muse in the low-brow witticism, promptly signs the boys, and sets them up in a proper television studio.

You might have seen this move before, but a re-watch is always in order for some much needed “positive vibes”.

‘Dazed and Confused’ (1993)

There is not a single movie that portrayed my Junior / Senior year in 1976 / 1977 than this movie. To say that it is accurate is an understatement.

Wooderson: Let me tell you what Melba Toast is packin' right here, all right. We got 4:11 Positrac outback, 750 double pumper, Edelbrock intake, bored over 30, 11 to 1 pop-up pistons, turbo-jet 390 horsepower. We're talkin' some fuckin' muscle.

This movie is EXACTLY what it was like for me in 1976. My Junior year. It was exactly what was going on including my Orange (goat) GTO!

What a great, great movie. If you want to know what being in High School in the mid 70's was like, rent this film. 

I grew up in the metro Manhattan area. We didn't have the freshman hazing, and few of us could afford the cars (although we sure knew about them and lusted after them), but the rest of this movie is so dead on about my experience of High School in the 70's that it's scary. 

Every character in the film corresponds with someone that I knew during that time. 

Yes, there was a lot of pot smoking, yes, obtaining beer was quite easy for underage kids…

I used to buy it in bars when I was 16. 

We made pipes in shop class. 

We hung out and had parties at night, drove the streets drinking beers and smoking joints listening to the same music. 

There were no youth centers though. 

The girls that I knew were as beautiful, and also struggled to get into their jeans. They used pliers too, but they also put them on while they were wet to further get that skintight look. 

There was no HIV virus to worry about, Herpes was not a big thing then, the biggest worry was getting pregnant. 

Everyone was having sex… 

All of these facts also were no big deal. 

Most of my peers grew up just fine, and now are upstanding pillars of the community. Many today would like you to believe that this is an example of the road to ruin. 

It was an incredible great time. 

The film has interesting character development, with the same types I remember. Philosophers, heads (now called stoners), bullies and waifs. 

This is my American Graffiti and it is perfect. Waxing nostalgic? Perhaps, but anyone that didn't live through that time will sill love the dialog in this film, as it deals with the universal experience of that point in one's life. 

This is high school in the 70's. Check it out.

Almost a Documentary... 
goodwynn191914 July 2005

The first day of summer vacation leaves a group of ’70s teens exhilarated and ready to party. Their raucous activities might remind you of the debauchery you got up to in the good old days. There are so many scenes that we all have lived, and personal flashbacks will flood your mind.

Either way, the feeling of complete freedom makes this movie a must for anyone starving for a vacation.

This movie takes you back to a time when you had absolutely no worries. It was a time when everything was in a kind of dull haze and everyone was walking in some kind of a fog.
This movie takes you back to a time when you had absolutely no worries. It was a time when everything was in a kind of dull haze and everyone was walking in some kind of a fog.

What makes “Dazed” work so well is that it gets the LOOK of the mid-to-late 70s just right, particularly the hair & clothing styles. Secondly, the actors pull off the material expertly. In fact, a large part of the film’s success is the excellent casting choices. Both are no easy feat. Speaking of the actors, you get a few up-and-comers here: Matthew McConaughey, Milla Jovovich, Ben Affleck and one or two of lesser note (as far as future popularity goes).

Slater: Are you cool, man?
Mitch Kramer: Like how?
Slater: Okay.

All the standard school archetypes are here: the jock who parties on the side, the bullies, the hot sister and her little long-haired brother, the black dude, the hot (feminist) teacher, the streetfighter, the cool guys, the geekier crowd, the babes, the guy who graduated years ago but still hangs around, the mentors & mentees, etc.

A Time Machine Trip Back To The Texas Summer Of 1976 
Oracle29594 February 2005

I graduated in 1976 from a high school in North Dallas and this entire movie is so spot on it's scary. 

It is my favorite film. I've seen it hundred's of times and every time it's like watching it for the first time. Only someone that was there and lived through those days could have directed such a movie. 

I drove a 70 dark blue Chevelle SS 454 with a 4-speed, over 400 HP and all of the goodies Wooderson described. Starting that car up, listening to the roar of that engine and burning out in 1st gear while in a thick cloud of blue smoke in front of the high school at 3PM while wasted......doing over 80MPH in 2nd gear....oh yea! 

I feel sorry for the teenagers today that drive the limp wrist fluffs of metal that pass themselves off as cars these days.

I was a stoner like Pickford smoking weed non-stop. 

Some mentioned that the heavy drug use was not too common. Well, at our school it was beyond common. Before school, during school (in the bathroom and football field) and after school. Our school had a smoking area outside the cafeteria where everyone went to light up.

The opening scene with Aerosmith "Sweet Emotion" slowly building up and Pickford driving his Goat and girlfriend in the school parking lot kills me every time. 

I cannot imagine a better opening scene for the movie. That was pure genius. 

The funny thing is Linklater did not show getting licks from the coach or the principal. For all the "uninitiated" back then all a coach or an asst. principal had to say was "Smith, I want to see you back at my office now". 

Our coach had a paddle he personally made that he kept on his wall over his desk. It had about 30 holes drilled in it and it was covered in black electrical tape! When that one came down you knew it! Now with all the PC people coach would go to jail for "assaulting the poor boy" Hell, back then it was called character building. As I remember from the 7th grade on licks were given out.

The soundtrack. Best ever. 

Might as well be back at White Rock Lake or Lake Ray Hubbard on a Friday night getting wasted. Head East was a nice touch. Every time I listen to that soundtrack I remember things I have not thought about in 25 years. 

The man that portrayed Pickford's dad was dead on. Accent, demeanor along with the big caddy and the tennis playing wife in the mini-skirt and puffed up hair.

Some of the reviewers mentioned they did not think it was too realistic showing/mixing a lot of sexual activity among the freshman girls. That is another point I must dispute. 

Maybe at their school in their town of 500 or their strict upbringing but at our junior high and high school the freshman and younger girls were pretty wild. 

I mean really "wild"! 

This is coming from someone who "lost it" at 12. So insinuating things about a 15 or 16 year old freshman is pretty tame. 15 and 16 year old's were the "world travelers" to us 13 or 14 year old guys.

There is something about this movie that pulls me back over and over again. It's hard to describe. 

I'm not sure what it is. Am I a Wooderson that enjoys reminiscing? Am I someone that prefers simpler times? Am I someone that is so sick of PC people that a movie like D&C is like a breath of fresh air? 

Was there something magical in the air back in 1976? 

The country was celebrating 200 years of freedom. Now within the last 30 years it seems that most of those freedoms have been slowly whittled away with and all that is left is a former shell of the old. 

Especially after 2001.

The best scene? To me it's a toss-up between the opening "Sweet Emotion" GTO in the school parking lot and the Emporium scene with "Hurricane" playing in the background while (The Past) Wooderson, (The Present) Pink and (The Future) Mitch walk into the Emporium while the camera films every little nuance in slow motion. 

The cockiness of Woods, the mellow Pink and the innocence of Mitch. Put that scene on slow motion and study their faces and the reaction shots of their peer's faces as they acknowledge their presence.

Your own personal time machine if only for an hour and a half. Slip the DVD in, turn the lights down low, take a couple good strong hits and wash them down with a few Tallboys. Use your imagination and for the briefest of time you are back in 1976. I wish they made more movies like this instead of the sugar coated pablum coming out of Hollywood nowadays.

Remember this?

Howard Hughes died, 
Robin Trower-Bridge of Sighs, 
Jeff Beck, 
Kawasaki Z1, 
Kawasaki 750 triple 2-stroke, 
45 cents a gallon gas, 
104 octane gas, 
Frampton Comes Alive, 
Bad Company - Shooting Star, 
Elvin Bishop - Fooled Around and Fell In Love, 
Jimmy Carter, 
Dirty Mary, 
Crazy Larry, 
1969 Dodge Charger 440, 
2 Lane Blacktop, 
3 finger lids, 
windowpane, 
Diamond Dogs, 
J. Geils, 
Midnight Special, Wings Over America tour, 
Bad Company - Movin' On, 
Mott The Hoople - All The Young Dudes,
SD 455 with the Big Bird on the hood, 
Marshall Tucker Band - Heard It In A Love Song, 
Emerson, Lake and Palmer - Brain Salad Surgery, 
Edelbrock Tunnel Ram with Holley Double Pumpers, ...

...getting high at dusk while listening to Pink Floyd's "Time" and looking at the Dallas skyscraper skyline against the setting sun.

If you do then Dazed and Confused is right up your alley. If you don't then still watch it, the characters in D&C cover all generations, just the cars and clothing have changed.
Dazed and Confused is a lot like the time in which it takes place. The film doesn't have much of note to say, but you get the sense that it has a good time just being there. By 1976, Vietnam was in the rear-view mirror, as were much of the struggles of the previous decades. It was almost like people were sick and tired of caring about things and just wanted to get wasted. Notice how nobody seemed to care when their teacher was trying to tell them about the 1968 Democratic Convention or our "aristocratic" forefathers. There is a certain innocence about the period that our up-tight and violent world of today could use right now.
Dazed and Confused is a lot like the time in which it takes place. The film doesn’t have much of note to say, but you get the sense that it has a good time just being there. By 1976, Vietnam was in the rear-view mirror, as were much of the struggles of the previous decades. It was almost like people were sick and tired of caring about things and just wanted to get wasted. Notice how nobody seemed to care when their teacher was trying to tell them about the 1968 Democratic Convention or our “aristocratic” forefathers. There is a certain innocence about the period that our up-tight and violent world of today could use right now.

And then you have the standard school experiences like parties at friend’s houses, keg parties, fleeing bullies, dealing with coaches & teachers, flirting, the possibility of sex, hanging out, meaningless conversations, fights, smoking pot at school or in your friend’s bedroom, etc.

Like “Fast Times,” “Dazed and Confused” is a joy to watch — whatever your age — because it successfully takes you back to the high school years with all its joys & agonies.

Cynthia: Maybe the 80s will be like radical or something. I figure we'll be in our 20s and it cant' get worse.

Some don’t like it because it’s more of a slice-of-life film than a plot-driven, contrived story. The plot here is simple: It’s the last day of school and the youths want to celebrate. If they can’t party at their friend’s house (because the dad catches wind of their plans) they’ll have a party at the park or wherever, but they WILL party. The rest of the film involves their interactions within this context.

Our film shows us the trials and tribulations of kids just looking to get high, drunk, or just save their butts from being paddled on the last day of school. Not much of note happens in this film. We just see kids doing what kids are still doing. They are all just out to have a good time.
Our film shows us the trials and tribulations of kids just looking to get high, drunk, or just save their butts from being paddled on the last day of school. Not much of note happens in this film. We just see kids doing what kids are still doing. They are all just out to have a good time.
Slater: Oh, a little weed, you know. There may be a beer bust later on.

I’ve heard some complain that the film conveys a terrible message.

What message?

There is no message.

The message is that school’s out and it’s time to celebrate! Besides, there are a few positive points that can be mined from the proceedings: the arrogant bully gets what’s coming, make a stand and fight when you have to (even if you get beat up), ultra-tight pants must be put on with pliers & the help of a friend, be true to yourself, etc.

But — really — this isn’t a movie to look for deep messages, its simple purpose is to take you back to the school years — in this case, 1976 — and all the fun & painful experiences thereof.

 There is nothing at all pretentious or preachy about any of the subject matter. We see some cool cars, tight jeans, long hair, and just about anything you would associate with this time frame.
There is nothing at all pretentious or preachy about any of the subject matter. We see some cool cars, tight jeans, long hair, and just about anything you would associate with this time frame.
Don Dawson: You know that Julie chick? Loves you. You want her? Gotta play it cool, you know. You can't let her know how much you like ?cause if she knows, she'll dump you like that. Believe me. Like, if she asks you if you want a ride, you say, "No, I've got my own ride, but maybe I'll see you later." Sounds stupid, doesn't it? It works.

No review of “Dazed and Confused” would be complete without noting the excellent soundtrack. You get some great rock/metal of the 70s like “Sweet Emotion,” “School’s Out,” “Stranglehold,” “Do You Feel Like We Do,” “Love Hurts,” “Paranoid,” “Rock & Roll Hootchie Coo,” “Rock & Roll All Nite,” “Slow Ride,” “Cherry Bomb,” “Tuesday’s Gone” and many more.

Here’s some quotes, and slang, that my generation can most certainly relate to…

  • “Alright, alright, alright!” — Wooderson
  • “Shotgun!” — Slater
  • “It’d be a lot cooler if you did.” — Wooderson
  • “You cool, man?” — Slater
  • “‘I’ve got my own ride, but maybe I’ll see you later.’” — Dawson
  • “You gotta keep on livin’… L-I-V-I-N.” — Wooderson

‘Wild at Heart’ (1990)

I’m going to close out this post with a slightly more serious flick. This one is surreal, but anyone that was in love with someone who’s parents hated you would relate to this movie.

Indeed.

It was hard enough finding a girlfriend in high school. But finding one that had parents that approved of you was just about impossible. Here is a movie … perhaps taken to extremes… that illustrates the lengths at which a mother would go to in order to “protect” her daughter.

Lula's psychopathic mother goes crazy at the thought of Lula being with Sailor, who just got free from jail. 

Ignoring Sailor's probation, they set out for California. 

However their mother hires a killer to hunt down Sailor and hurt him. 

Unaware of this, the two enjoy their journey and themselves being together... until they witness a young woman dying after a car accident - a bad omen.

Yah.

It’s something that I know all too well.

The opening scene to Wild At Heart features Nick Cage ferociously beating an assassin to death. Heads are rammed against walls, fists are lunged into guts and what results is a brutally bashed corpse with brains pouring out of it’s head. This kind of high-octane violence which is fueled by maniacal characters and deranged intervals creates a fantastic effect. One which has so much impact and so much individuality to it’s merit that it turns out to be one hell of a movie.

Recipient of the prestigious Palme d'Or award at Cannes, David Lynch's "Wild at Heart" is an amazingly brilliant spectacle for the senses. Bold splashes of deep red, curiously staged musical numbers (Nicolas Cage does his own singing – and he's great!), and the continuous references to "The Wizard of Oz" help create a surreal and dreamlike texture to the narrative.
Recipient of the prestigious Palme d’Or award at Cannes, David Lynch’s “Wild at Heart” is an amazingly brilliant spectacle for the senses. Bold splashes of deep red, curiously staged musical numbers (Nicolas Cage does his own singing – and he’s great!), and the continuous references to “The Wizard of Oz” help create a surreal and dreamlike texture to the narrative.

This is simultaneously a thrilling road movie and a revelation of small town, American country folk. The two protagonists, Sailor and Lula (Nicholas Cage and Laura Dern) are so in love with each other that they’d go to extreme lengths not to be separated.

Their separation is exactly what Lula’s crazed mother wants, as she believes that Sailor is a cold-blooded murderer who is putting her daughter in danger.

Her anger is so fierce that the viewer becomes slightly scared by her: her manic fits of rage where she plasters herself in red lipstick; her bizarre paroxysms fueled by numerous cocktails.

All of her slight idiosyncrasies and mannerisms well up to create a very intimidating mother.

She sends out a hitman to dispose of Sailor and bring back her daughter, but the lovely couple are on the run from her and the law.

Sailor and Lula (excellent performances from both Nicolas Cage & Laura Dern); two broken souls passionately in love, flee the vengeful wrath of Lula's mother Marietta, who for reasons of her own will stop at nothing to ensure the lovers are kept apart. Diane Ladd practically steals the show in her brave portrayal of Lula's psychopathic mother Marietta.
Sailor and Lula (excellent performances from both Nicolas Cage & Laura Dern); two broken souls passionately in love, flee the vengeful wrath of Lula’s mother Marietta, who for reasons of her own will stop at nothing to ensure the lovers are kept apart. Diane Ladd practically steals the show in her brave portrayal of Lula’s psychopathic mother Marietta.

Sailor and Lula meet up with some very strange characters whilst travelling far away from Lula’s mother.

The eccentricities of ‘Tuna Town’ in Texas, the insane car accident victim and Lula’s nutcase cousin who believes that “the man with the black glove is coming to get him”.

It’s all rudimentary David Lynch fare. He has mastered the art of contemporary film making: a clever blend of black-comedy, violence and fantasy.

Gut wrenchingly violent in places, hopelessly romantic in others; Lynch has crafted an adult fairy tale worthy of multiple viewings. Recommended to those who enjoy and appreciate abstract methods of film-making – a definite 10/10!
Gut wrenchingly violent in places, hopelessly romantic in others; Lynch has crafted an adult fairy tale worthy of multiple viewings. Recommended to those who enjoy and appreciate abstract methods of film-making – a definite 10/10!

The viewer builds an empathy for the two main characters, as it would be a terrible thing to see their undying love for each other shattered.

The other characters in the movie all seem to want to destroy that love.

Sailor’s character, although violent and hard-bitten, seems the most normal of the lot. It takes a sane man to make sense of all the insane folk in America’s underbelly.

He puts up with a lot from everyone, but all he really wants to do is escape from it all with Lula.

They meet an assortment of weird people, especially Bobby Peru, and also Perdita Durango, who has appeared recently in a film with her name as the title, also written by Barry Gifford. It is classic David Lynch, with a homage type theme to the Wizard of Oz. It has the sensuality and eroticism later seen in Lost Highway, the violence and gore, the head sequence after the bank robbery being graphic, and a general uneasiness throughout. But it is a darkly humorous and transfixing piece.
They meet an assortment of weird people, especially Bobby Peru, and also Perdita Durango, who has appeared recently in a film with her name as the title, also written by Barry Gifford. It is classic David Lynch, with a homage type theme to the Wizard of Oz. It has the sensuality and eroticism later seen in Lost Highway, the violence and gore, the head sequence after the bank robbery being graphic, and a general uneasiness throughout. But it is a darkly humorous and transfixing piece.

Summary…

Well, while you are trapped in this slow-motion nightmare you might as well make the best of the situation. Now, rather than watching horror and adventure movies out of Hollywood, how about checking out some more light hearted fare for purposes of escape…

If you want to relive your school years…

  • Hot Dog the Movie
  • One Crazy Summer
  • Risky Business
  • Dream a little dream
  • Better off dead
  • Dazed and Confused

If you want to relive your 20’s…

  • Wayne’s world
  • Something about Mary
  • Wild at Heart

If you want to just escape from your life as an Adult…

  • Captain Ron

In any event, it’s great escapist entertainment. Certainly at least one of these movies will strike a cord within your soul. Have fun.

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Escapist entertainment during a time of stress; some suggestions.

This is a very stressful time that we are all enduring. many stores and factories are closed, and many people are locked inside their homes. No one is sure when the prohibitions will be lifted, or what they will do to catch up with their bills.

It’s the COVID-19 SHTF event.

The thing is, that when we try to turn on the internet for escape we are blitzed with a combined narrative; it’s either [1] hate-China or [2] fear-the-corona-virus. I mean can’t we get a break? Why does the US government feel the need to constantly and incessantly manipulate the media and try to control us all. Can’t they just take a holiday, or something?

Jeeze!

Well, I am not the government, and I do have some suggestion of what you all can do. So, here I provide some thoughts on what you can do to escape from this nightmarish assault.

Let’s start with a list of some movies and television shows. Shows that you can use to pull up interesting escapist entertainment to look at.

Now, rather than list well known movies, or the latest in special effects, instead I have decided to put together a list of 1980’s feel-good movies, and 1960’s – 1970’s forgotten comedies. The key driver here is “overlooked” and / or “forgotten”. (With the first one being “unknown” to anyone under 50 years old.)

I do hope that at least one movie or show listed here will remind you of some pleasant memories . And that maybe… maybe, you would use my suggestion as a seed to take you on a trip. A trip far away from the current frustrations of modern locked-up life.

We start with a pretty well-known movie. At least well-known to my generation.

The newer generations not so much.

Though, you would be surprised at how many people under the age of 30 never heard of it. Which is a shame. The movie is a classic and it’s all about growing up with your first heart-pounding crush…

Sixteen Candles (1983)

Climax of the movie when Samantha gets her birthday wish.
Climax of the movie when Samantha gets her birthday wish.

The tale is classic. American teenager Samantha (Molly Ringwald) is despondent that her entire family has forgotten her sixteenth birthday. You know, being so caught up are they in the wedding of her sister. Now, Samantha has a crush on a classmate of hers. He’s Mr. Bo-Hunk; Jake Ryan (Michael Schoeffling), and she wrongly thinks he has no interest in her.

Oh, but we do find out what happens…

This John Hughes film is one of the best romantic teen comedies in history. 

Starring 2 of the Brat Packers, Molly Ringwald, playing the lovesick Samantha, and Anthony Michael Hall who plays "The Geek", he practically stole the entire movie with his one-liners. 

His friends were the best, it's funny to see John Cusack as one of his geeky friends, and I just noticed Joan Cusack makes a small appearance in this as the girl with the neck brace on. That's funny. 

I recommend this classic to anyone who likes romantic teen comedies. 

Oh and whoever said that "Sixteen Candles" was perverted, all i have to say is WHAT? What is perverted about this movie, American Pie was perverted, this movie is a classic. There was ONE scene of nudity and it lasted about 3 seconds. I give "Sixteen Candles" 10 out of 10!!!!

- LittleRascal-15

Matters are not helped by a party that evening at school, at which much mayhem breaks out, nor by the chaotic wedding day itself.

"They Fucking forgot my birthday!!!"... 

These are the immortal words spoken by SIXTEEN CANDLES heroine Samantha Baker (Molly Ringwald) in the ultimate 80's teen comedy. 

This movie has become a classic to those born in the 70's, like myself, and I now consider it a "guilty pleasure". Its a movie we all grew up with. 

Didn't we all know a person like 'Farmer Ted', or a hot queenie like the blonde he hilariously gets. It was every young freshman's fantasy. This funny flick is also a relic of the 80's that is not all that dated.

The jokes still work (as long as you see it uncut) and it is neat seeing things of the not so distant past be on display. Floppy disks, headgears, leotards, etc... 

Time has not been so good to the featured stars. Ringwald and Anthony-Michael Hall, who was born to play this role, and this one only, have all but disappeared. The biggest stars now are blips on the screen here: Joan (in a headgear) and John (a geek) Cusack. The film is like a toy you can't put away.

Some situations are beat, but at least Paul Dooley adds an extra dimension to the father. Too many of John Hughes' teen-angst comedies of the era feature tissue-thin parental figures. 

This was the first and best of the so-called "brat pack" movies, and will always hold a place in 1980's filmmaking history. Girls learned never to lend their underwear to a geek and we all learned that high school is just a phase, easily forgotten as time goes on.

-Don-10229 March 1999

Now, maybe you have already seen that movie ten or twenty times and do not care to re-watch it. No problem.

Seriously.

No problem.

Maybe get yourself a nice bag of chips. Pour it into a nice big bowl and grab yourself some beer, or like me… a nice glass of wine. (Just a reasonably cheap red will do.)

Relax.

Stop allowing the “news” and those that control it and the internet to control you.

Some Lays potato chips that I bought. The Chinese really like all these odd kinds of flavors. This particular flavor is a white grape drink soda drink flavor.
Some Lays potato chips that I bought. The Chinese really like all these odd kinds of flavors. This particular flavor is a white grape soda drink flavor. Who figures? Eh? For me it was a cross between Korean style barbecued squid with Hunan spices or plain “American style” potato chips.

So, now that you have some fine tasty chips… a nice beverage of your choice, and (hopefully) a companion or two (can be a loved one, a trusted pet, or some children), settle down to some friendly escapist enjoyment.

I'm drinking red wine, so I think that it could be paired quite nicely with a white grape soda flavored potato chip.

With that being said, how about a feel-good television show.

I really like the world of Mayberry RFD. Nothing ever seems to go wrong in it. Seriously, nothing bad or really serious ever happens in it short of a cat getting stuck in a tree, or an arrest for a broken tail light.

It’s all just good, safe escapist enjoyment.

The Andy Griffith Show

The Andy Griffith show.
The Andy Griffith show.

This sitcom was spun-off from an episode of The Danny Thomas Show. In that show, Danny Thomas was arrested in a small North Carolina town. The character of the small town sheriff turned out to be so popular that they made a complete show around him.

Of course, named “The Andy Griffith Show”, and focused on Sheriff Andrew Jackson Taylor in the small town of Mayberry.

Andy Taylor was a widower with a young son (Opie) and the pair of them lived with Andy’s Aunt Bee – famous for her most excellent pies.

Andy’s Aunt Bee was famous for her most excellent pies.
Andy’s Aunt Bee was famous for her most excellent pies.

Crime in Mayberry was of the distinctly petty variety and much of the comedy centered around Andy, his family life and working life especially with his somewhat stupid deputy (and cousin) Barney Fife.

Andy wouldn’t allow Barney to load his weapon for fear he would shoot his own feet off! He allows him to carry a solitary bullet (usually in his left shirt pocket).

Throughout the show’s run, Andy had two love interests – the first was druggist Ellie Walker, and then later schoolteacher Helen Crump whom Andy ended up marrying in 1968.

Sheriff Andrew Jackson Taylor

When Andy Griffith decided to call it quits with the show it was still popular and the network decided to carry it on under the new name of Mayberry RFD with Ken Berry in the lead as councilman Sam Jones.

Also a most excellent show.

Griffith helped with the change over by appearing in the first episode (it was in this episode that he married Helen and the pair then moved away from the town).

A typical day in Mayberry with Andy and councilman Sam Jones.

I know. I know.

Mayberry RFD is more about hotdogs and hamburgers instead of potato chips. It’s a show about mowing lawns on hot July afternoons, pitchers of icy lemonade on shady porches, and tree-houses that hide in the back yard. It’s about comic-books, airplane models that hang from the bedroom ceiling, and classmates that you play baseball with. It’s about watermelons and fresh buttered corn on the cob.

And I really do emphasize. I really do.

Maybe something along these lines, eh?

What's life without a nice tasty home-cooked hamburger?  Not much, I'll tell you what. Hey!  How about taking notice of that nice beer in the background...
What’s life without a nice tasty home-cooked hamburger? Not much, I’ll tell you what. Notice the cheese! (No tomatoes, though. Bummer.) But hey! How about taking notice of that nice beer in the background…

Oh, and speaking of hamburgers and beer…

F Troop

This is just a fun silly television series that I used to watch when I was in elementary school. LOL.

But now, after decades of the rigors of Life, I have come to appreciate it’s silliness. And yes, silliness has an important role in our lives. If you disagree with me, then leave. You can go ahead and split up your time between CNN and the weather channel.

As an aside, American Airports have non-stop CNN coverage, or the Weather Channel. Chinese airports have silly light slapstick entertainment, Mr. Bean style. Why do you think that the two philosophies are so different?
F Troop
F Troop

This show is a military farce about the gallant incompetents of F Troop. It all takes place at “Fort Courage” way back in 1866 Kansas. This was an interesting time period, being the final days of the Civil War.

The CO was the wide-eyed, bumbling Captain Wilton Parmenter (Ken Berry). You see, he had been promoted from Private during the last days of the war. Imagine that! Private to Captain. What did he do, you ask? Well, he accidentally led a charge towards the enemy with a sneeze that sounded like “Charge!”

The episodes were fun and creative.

V Is for Vampire

Count Sforza, an emigrant from Transylvania, arrives in town. He comes in a hearse, has pale skin and has a crow he calls "Brother." The men of F-Troop suspect he may be a vampire, given the count's tendency to say, "Good evening," regardless of the time of day. When Jane can't be found, O'Rourke, Agarn and the Captain decide to check out Sforza's spooky mansion.

Bill Koenig

Reveille is played at 10 am “because of the three hour time difference” and that even though rations and pay allotments are drawn for 30 men, only 17 are stationed at the fort (the other 13 are allegedly “Indian scouts out on patrol”). LOL.

Perhaps the United States government were taking notes, eh?

Unbeknownst to the captain, Sgt. Morgan O’Rourke (Forrest Tucker) had already negotiated a secret – and highly profitable – treaty with the Hekawi Indians. These Indians were led by Chief Wild Eagle (Frank De Kova) from whom he also had an exclusive franchise to sell their souvenirs to tourists via O’Rourke Enterprises.

The treaty benefited both sides. This is because it permitted the Indians to trade and upgrade their living conditions, and the troops to maintain the illusion that they were involved in a deadly land war. While all the time no one was actually in danger.

The only flaw in this otherwise happy arrangement was the troublesome Shugs, a genuine war-mongering tribe (with whom there was no peace treaty) who occasionally went into action.

F Troop is a happy, go-lucky television comedy that would NEVER be permitted to air in today's modern progressive America.
F Troop is a happy, go-lucky television comedy that would NEVER be permitted to air in today’s modern progressive America.

Corporal Randolph Agarn was O’Rourke’s chief aide and assistant schemer and Wrangler Jane the hard-ridin’, fast-shootin’ (and very scrumptious) cowgirl who ran the post office and was out to marry Parmenter.

Other soldiers in the troop included Hannibal Dobbs, the troop’s bugler – who couldn’t play the bugle – and Troopers Duffy and Vanderbilt.

A lot of colourful Indians passed through the Fort in one-time special appearances. Some of those included Wise Owl (Milton Berle); Roaring Chicken (Edward Everett Horton); 147-year-old Flaming Arrow (Phil Harris) and Bald Eagle (Don Rickles).

LOL.

Other special appearances included Sgt. Ramsden (Paul Lynde) and Wrongo Starr (Henry Gibson).

F Troop was an entertaining enough production which, in similar dubious taste to Hogan’s Heroes made light of a deadly serious period of history.


Let’s look at a movie.

Maybe television shows aren’t your thang, eh?

Well, let’s go and check out a teenaged boy science fiction movie from the 1960’s. It’s got all the elements of boyhood dreams. the title says it all… adventure, shipwrecked, on a lone desolate place… Mars!

And it’s got a monkey!

But first, movies like this remind me of food. They really do. Often, as a boy I would go raid the refrigerator and heat up some leftovers that were sitting inside. I would use the microwave rather than the stove, and there were always some good delicious leftovers. Back then, in the 1960’s the US dollar was still worth around twenty five cents, and middle class families could afford to eat. Not like today where it’s actual value is a fraction of a penny.

I would often make up a sandwich from scraps that I would pull out of the refrigerator.
I would often make up a sandwich from scraps that I would pull out of the refrigerator.

Anyways, I would pull out some pork-chops and applesauce, or maybe some meatloaf (and make a sandwich from it), or perhaps some left over lasagna. I would hurriedly scramble and whip up a quick meal with the commercials were rolling…

Of course, more often than not, I would just end up making a “Dagwood” or a hoagie out of all the fixings in the fridge.

Anyways, back to the movie…

Robinson Crusoe on Mars (1964)

Robinson Crusoe on Mars (1964)
Robinson Crusoe on Mars (1964)
"Special-effects wunderkind and genre master Byron Haskin (The War of the Worlds, The Outer Limits) won a place in the hearts of fantasy film lovers everywhere with this gorgeously designed journey into the unknown."

Robinson Crusoe on Mars tells the story of US astronaut Commander “Kit” Draper who must fight for survival when his spaceship, Elinor M, crash-lands on the barren wastes of Mars.

Oooh…

The story begins with the Elinor M orbiting Mars on the first official probe to test the planet’s gravity. Aboard are Draper, Colonel Dan McReady (Batman‘s Adam West) and Mona (The Woolly Monkey), a monkey, space suited for medical research.

The perfect mix of period science fiction for pre-teen boyhood dreams.
The perfect mix of period science fiction for pre-teen boyhood dreams.

McReady and Draper suddenly realize that their craft is on a collision course with a giant meteor. Yikes!

In a split-second evasive action, the spacecraft swings too far off course and is dragged inexorably down by the gravitational pull of Mars.

McReady and Draper separately abandon ship with McReady taking charge of Mona.

Despite its retro rockets, Draper’s ejection capsule crashes on landing, wrecking the craft and leaving food and water for only a few days. Exhausted, Draper falls asleep only to wake up suffocating for lack of air. Without oxygen, he can sleep only an hour.

The true hero of the movie; the spacesuited monkey Mona.
The true hero of the movie; the space-suited monkey Mona.

Draper sets out to find McReady but in his search only locates Mona. With no more than a few hours oxygen, Draper seems doomed.

Lightheaded, he passes out but is miraculously saved when little yellow rocks, burning and giving off bursts of gas, revive him. This gas is pure oxygen and Draper devises a method to feed the oxygen into his regular tank.

Imagine that! Little yellow rocks…

Several weeks later, a spacecraft appears over Mars and then lands.

Draper, sure he is being rescued, runs to the ship only to discover that it is not from the USA or even the Earth. Watching the ship, Draper suddenly sees a figure detach himself and run in his direction. The two face each other warily.

A stranded astronaut recording his audio diary within a martian cave. Wait until you see the alien. He looks like something out of per-Aztec Mexico. LOL.
A stranded astronaut recording his audio diary within a martian cave. Wait until you see the alien. He looks like something out of pre-Aztec Mexico. LOL.

Gradually, Draper allays the fears of the newcomer and they settle down for the night.

With the arrival of the newcomer – who Draper jokingly dubs Friday – his worst problem, loneliness, has gone. Slowly, over the months, Draper teaches Friday English, and together, wondering if they will ever be rescued, set out to explore the Martian terrain.

Not a movie that will leave you wondering about life. Not so much.

It’s just a silly enough pre-adolescent movie for young boys that was written int he 1960’s. But, you know what? Maybe that’s what we need right now. Maybe we need to “escape” and forget our life for a spell. To give us a break and to relax our minds somewhat.

Now, as a man, I prefer other (ahem) more adult pleasures.

Manly adult pleasures.
Manly adult pleasures.

Beer, wine and VSOP can help. But you know, if you don’t watch out it could consume you instead. So I would recommend just some lighthearted escapist shows and movies. Nothing too serious or upsetting.

Oh, and enjoy with something delicious to eat.

Newhart

If you have lived through the 1980’s then you knew all about Newhart. This show as a hoot!

The cast of the television show "Newhart".
The cast of the television show “Newhart”.

In this series, Newhart played Dick Loudon, a writer of “how-to” books who moved from New York to Norwich, Vermont to realise his dream of running a country inn. His smart, funny, and sexy wife was named Joanna (played by Mary Frann).

As with Newhart’s previous comedies, there were numerous quirky supporting characters. Tom Poston (who had been a frequent guest on the earlier show) was the inn’s unhandy handyman, George Utley, and Julia Duffy played the vain and spoiled Stephanie Vanderkellen (an heiress working as a maid at the 200-year-old Stratford Inn – Stephanie replaced her less interesting cousin, Leslie, after the first season).

Stephanie’s boyfriend, Michael Harris (Peter Scolari), was an insufferable 1980s yuppie and producer of a local TV show, Vermont Today, which Dick began hosting a few years into Newhart’s run.

Perhaps the most memorable, and certainly the most unusual, characters were three bizarre backwoodsmen, of whom only one ever spoke (until the final episode).

Larry, and his brother Darryl, and his other brother Darryl.
Larry, and his brother Darryl, and his other brother Darryl.

“I’m Larry, this is my brother Darryl, and this is my other brother Darryl,” was their stock introduction. They could always be counted upon to enjoy any activity that would disgust most people.

The trio of backwoodsmen known as Larry, Darryl, and Darryl actually made their first appearance in the series’ second episode. Dick hired their “company,” Anything for a Buck, to unearth the 300-year-old body of a woman buried in the Stratford Inn’s basement. The audience’s reaction to the brothers did not go unnoticed by Newhart and co-creator Kemp, and they were one of the first additions to the regular cast when Newhart underwent a makeover after season two.

-13 fun facts about the Newhart show.

William Sanderson, who played Larry, graduated from Memphis State University with a BBA and JD, but the acting bug bit him before he sat for the bar exam. Despite this educational pedigree, Sanderson remained very much a good ol’ Memphis boy at heart. While working on Newhart he sipped Jack Daniels and read the Bible in his dressing room between takes, and he constantly chewed tobacco. He had a habit of leaving his spittle cups all over the set, to the disgust of his co-workers.

Tony Papenfuss (First Darryl) and John Voldstad (Second Darryl) are both classically trained actors who had years of stage experience on their resumes when they landed their Newhart parts. Both actors’ agents actually advised them against accepting the roles, since they were non-speaking parts.

Newhart is a classic piece of 1980's television. It described America leading up to the Bill Clinton Presidency and thus was free of all the political correctness mumbo-jumbo that followed it.
Newhart is a classic piece of 1980’s television. It described America leading up to the Bill Clinton Presidency and thus was free of all the political correctness mumbo-jumbo that followed it.

Everyone in town sold their property to a Japanese corporation, and the finale included a parody of Fiddler on the Roof, and ended with Newhart waking up in bed with Suzanne Pleshette and explaining that he’d had a very strange dream (a tongue-in-cheek reference to the famous 1986-87 season of Dallas.)

Best Episode - Season 6 
Episode 121: “Take Me To Your Loudon” (Aired: 10/26/87)
It's Halloween, and the townspeople believe the town is about to be invaded by aliens.

A beloved excursion, many fans cite this installment as their very favorite of the entire series. They’re also likely to use it in evidence of the show’s supposed bent towards the surreal.

You see, this story doesn’t totally forsake logic — it just asks that we find it in the broad, heightened, and not all together relatable depictions of some of the characters. That‘s the reason that it’s hard to believe and thus seems “surreal.” 

It's Halloween and the Stratford is having a costume party, Michael has the station run the film "War Of The Worlds (1953)" on TV and the townsfolk believe they are being invaded by aliens from outer space.

A hilariously funny episode, in the top five best in the series. The laughs are non stop, George is the Cowardly Lion from "Wizard Of Oz', Dick the Tin Man, Joanna is Vampira, Michael dresses as a Canadian Mountie and Stephanie (naturally) is a princess. Harley shows up and tells about the invasion when he sees the movie on TV. Michael sees a chance for the same kind of panic Orson Welles caused with his radio version of "War Of The Worlds". Dick tries to be the voice of reason to the wacky towns people but they just accuse HIM of being from outer space! And Larry, Darryl and Darryl show up with their funniest introduction ever.

I think it represents the era most accurately, and, as such, is the most valuable.

And now, while we are at it, for another classic 1980’s movie…

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (1986)

Ferris Bueller takes a day off from school.
Ferris Bueller takes a day off from school.

Ferris Bueller (Matthew Broderick) is a born con artist. When he’s not talking a mile a minute to his girlfriend Sloane (Mia Sara) and his best friend Cameron (Alan Ruck), he’s stepping aside, facing the camera and addressing the audience.

In his dedication to the joy of loafing, Ferris convinces his parents he’s ill, the student body starts raising money to save his life with a kidney transplant, and the dean of students thinks all sorts of people are dying.

But Ferris isn’t dying. He’s just lying, and it’s the ninth time in the same semester.

He convinces Cameron to ‘borrow’ his father’s irreplaceable 1961 red Ferrari, and then swing by school to kidnap Sloane.

A large part of the film (directed by John Hughes) is then devoted to elaborate schemes designed to keep Ferris and his pals out of school: Answering machines are fixed, a fake body run by strings attached to a doorknob rolls around in Ferris’s bed to fool concerned and nosy parents, a sickbed message is recorded through a loudspeaker to answer the doorbell and deter inquisitive truant officers.

While the kids are bulldozing their way into an expensive restaurant, catching a ball game at Wrigley Field, and staging their own musical production number from Grease in the middle of a mysterious parade the principal – determined to catch Ferris red-handed – slinks around like a CIA agent on secret manoeuvres.
While the kids are bulldozing their way into an expensive restaurant, catching a ball game at Wrigley Field, and staging their own musical production number from Grease in the middle of a mysterious parade the principal – determined to catch Ferris red-handed – slinks around like a CIA agent on secret manoeuvres.

Hold the phone . . . if it’s a holiday, with floats and marching bands and 10,000 extras, why does anyone need to play hooky from school in the first place?

Brat-packer Charlie Sheen appears in a side-splitting cameo role as a drugged-to-the-eyeballs boy that spiteful sister Jeannie encounters at a police station. To get the necessary spaced-out effect, full method acting would have been a step too far, but Sheen did keep himself awake for 48 hours before the scene was shot. LOL.

If life is far too serious for you now with the COVID-19 pandemic a raging, perhaps some good old-fashioned Ferris Bueller wisdom might be in order.

I do believe that we all need to take a lesson from Ferris Bueller in today's day and age.
I do believe that we all need to take a lesson from Ferris Bueller in today’s day and age.

Oh, and while I am on a 1980’s bender…

Weird Science (1985)

Weird Science (1985)
Weird Science (1985)

Triumphant geeks have always been a common theme of writer/director John Hughes, but that triumph was never achieved as raucously as it was in 1985’s Weird Science – a screenplay which took the high school movie guru just two days to write.

Among the feats of sex-starved no-hope geek boys Gary (Anthony Michael Hall) and Wyatt (Ilan Mitchell-Smith): vanquishing a psycho older brother, gaining popularity and acceptance at school, and best of all, getting the girls – both the computer-generated kind and the real kind.

With a little Frankenstein-type mission on the brain, Gary convinces Wyatt to sit down at his souped-up computer and go to work on an interactive onscreen lady friend.

But with the lightning brewing outside, the bras atop their heads and the Barbie doll hooked up to the hardware, it’s inevitable the boys take things a little too far . . .

Lisa, the Frankenstein creation of two 1980's nerds.
Lisa, the Frankenstein creation of two 1980’s nerds.

Behold Lisa (Kelly LeBrock). Named after the computer (the Apple Lisa) on which she was designed, she is beautiful, brilliant and capable of some treacherous hocus-pocus. She also does their washing, cleaning and cooking – feminists will loathe this film.

Lisa fast becomes the boys’ well-needed mentor of cool. She brings them to a steamy nightclub, where they’re instant hits with the regulars; she hosts a whopper of a party at Wyatt’s house, where her duties include freezing Wyatt’s absurd grandparents and dealing with the gang of killer mutants who crash the festivities.

Weird Science (1985)
Weird Science (1985)

But most importantly, she teaches Wyatt and Gary how to stand up for themselves – which in this case, means facing off against the gun-toting, wedgie-bestowing older brother Chet (Bill Paxton), and, as if that’s not bad enough, a beastly biker type (played by Vernon Wells, reprising his Mad Max 2 role).

It’s enough to say that in the end, everyone gets what they deserve.

With that geek-dream-come-true premise and a quirky, catchy theme song from Oingo Boingo, Weird Science quickly became a favorite of the timid and nerdy. It is all 1980’s and it WILL carry your back to another time and place.

I know, I know…

Too many 1980’s flicks.

You all probably thought that I was going to give you REAL GENIUS (1985), and indeed I was. Nothing quite says the 1980’s more than this movie. For some reason it just carries me back… way back to that time. The music. The fashion. The “feeling”. Man, if you want to escape, nothing is better…

Ahhh Heck.

Real Genius (1985)

Female geniuses have bowl-cuts, no social boundaries and never sleep…

You can tell how dated this movie is. Instead of having a creme frappichino latte at a coffeehouse, the gang go ahead and drinks some beer and hamburgers together. man! Don't you just love it?
You can tell how dated this movie is. Instead of having a creme frappichino latte at a coffeehouse, the gang goes ahead and drinks some beer and hamburgers together. man! Don’t you just love it?

As a child of the 80s, I have a soft spot in my heart for creatively-executed movies from this period. At their worst, 80s movies become dated more quickly than films from nearly any other period in film history. At their best, 80s movies reflect the cultural undertones of an exciting time where humor and optimism were rampant in films despite the specter of cold war, the advent of AIDS and a rocky economy.

Oh, and did you know, dorm room closets are a fine place to put an entrance to a secret lair…

Terrific nostalgia trip down 80s memory lane - loved it! 
by heisenberg8313 November 2005

Had very fond memories of this film as a kid in the 80s. Still holds up even today. DVD widescreen format shows off how well directed this movie is. Val Kilmer is terrific as the genius slacker hero. The whole cast gel well together, and the dialogue is very sharp and well-written (reminded me of TV show Scrubs in places). Had me laughing out loud in many places - rare for a modern version like American Pie. Lots of tasty 80s musical montages scattered throughout. Something really likable and positive about this movie, leaves you feeling really good at the end. Highly recommended - really hasn't dated at all. An enjoyable trip down 80s memory lane!

Real Genius takes the happy, go-lucky optimism of the 80s and superimposes it on the grim topics of military research, cold war espionage and assassination. The movie is set in a west-coast college (see Caltech, Berkeley, Stanford) and makes full use of the hyper-intelligent, eccentric dialog you might expect in elite California academia.

Yup.

And eating hamburgers gives you very large breasts!

The sound track from Thomas Newman (Less than Zero, American Beauty and many others) is technically complex and involving and fits the movie perfectly.

In this classic 1980's movie, our heroes get to play with lasers and other cool things like popcorn.
In this classic 1980’s movie, our heroes get to play with lasers and other cool things like popcorn.

At times, the movie suffers from the usual poor depiction of science (see lame computer applications and some bad blue screen work on aircraft) and unbelievable scenarios (see water slide in lecture hall and ice sledding in dormitory). But we all know that top secret military computers use 6-character passwords…

Despite these forgivable breaches, the Neal Israel’s unique dialog is truly brilliant, the situational comedy is eccentric, and the humor is uplifting.

Getting even is a moral imperative!

Val Kilmer is outstanding in his portrayal of Chris Knight and I lament his departure from this odd and extremely intelligent form of comedy (See Top Secret) – Though Kilmer has been involved with “better” movies since, I don’t think he has ever been more genuinely entertaining.

One of the all time best 80's college movies 
by thirdi  3 November 2001

Val Kilmer is hilarious as a college genius on par with Einstein, but is more interested in partying and chasing girls. A new arrival to the campus, Mitch, is a brilliant 15 year-old whom Val takes under his wing and tries to get to loosen up and have a good time.

There are probably some important themes and ideas to analyze within this movie, but for me it's just an old-school personal favorite that I've seen about 100 times. Great 80's music soundtrack and funny performances. William Atherton is perfect as the self-important, snobby professor, and another highlight is Robert Prescott, who plays his butt-kissing, nerdy assistant "Kent".

A movie that asks the question, isn't life experience just as important for education, as classrooms and books? A very funny, fine film that is up there with "Animal House" in my opinion.
The bag guys get "their's". I love it. It's a good feel-good escapist movie that take you back to pre-Clinton America.
The bad guys get “their’s”. I love it. It’s a good feel-good escapist movie that take you back to pre-Clinton America.

I think this movie is a must-watch for anyone who enjoys science, comedy and the 80s genre, or for anyone who is planning on attending a technology school on the West coast. This movie may not depict reality, but it communicates a hopeful spirit we could all use more of in today’s world of harsh reality. Besides, Any problem can be solved with a catchy 80’s pop song and a montage.

Oh, and don’t forget, Jesus wants you to stop playing with yourself.


Ah, what can I say. The 1980’s was “the shit”. It’s great escapist clap-trap as it occurred at a time that predated all the political correctness nonsense of the Bill Clinton years, and the Military Empire building of the Bush years. It’s just a nice time capsule that will take you back to a time when people were not so easily offended and when people were ok with just being ok.

With that being said, I am going to offer up just one more 1980’s movie. This movie is a tad bit more obscure. Indeed finding it is near impossible, but OMG is it awesome.

Water (1985)

Water is a funny satire about West Indies-style politics and the decline of British colonialism. It is also a kind of raw smack in the face of commercialism and the media.
Water is a funny satire about West Indies-style politics and the decline of British colonialism. It is also a kind of raw smack in the face of commercialism and the media.

British comedy-writing legends Dick Clement and Ian La Frenais wrote this funny satire about West Indies-style politics and the decline of British colonialism in the Thatcher Era. Elements of the story were also inspired by the 1982 Falklands conflict (when Argentina invaded the British overseas territory in the south-west Atlantic Ocean).

An extremely funny film 
sxct16 June 2004

I am quite disappointed with the average for this film. I found it to be one of the funniest films I have ever seen. 

The cast is superb and the script, although not one of the best written, is filled with humor that was was made even better by the acting. It was filmed on the island of St. Lucia. 

It's a story of a company drilling for oil and accidentally discovers mineral water, a substance that is even more valuable than oil. But it is important to keep it a secret. Jimmie Walker, who I don't particularly like, plays the part of a radio dj and does it wonderfully. Michael Caine and Brenda Vaccaro are fabulous as is everyone else. 

Please give this film a chance. I think it might be one of those little surprises that come along every once in a while.

Set on a fictional Caribbean island (Cascara) owned by Britain but largely left to its own devices, the story centers around the discovery of a lucrative resource – the natural mineral water of the title – and the reaction of people on the island and other nations.

Location shooting for the fictional British Caribbean colony of Cascara took place in the real former British Caribbean colony of St. Lucia in the West Indies.

Water has a plot that is all over the place, but I have to admit the fact that the personal fights between the governor and his wife being broadcast all over the island really cracked me up.
Water has a plot that is all over the place, but I have to admit the fact that the personal fights between the governor and his wife being broadcast all over the island really cracked me up.
...of Houston Texas 
lavean on 13 December 2001

I thought this movie actually had some very funny and memorable lines...The characters are so stereotyped that they have all become caricatures...from the French Commandos on the beach who when they are breaking out their emergency rations are having the menu read to them by a Sergent who informs them that it will be "accompanied by an unpretentious St Emillion which will amuse even the most cynical palate"...the American Colonel who can't see the target for the Limbo dancers...when the guerilla mets the oil man he calls him a "Yankee capitalist imperialist...of Houston Texas", says the oil man extending his hand.

It was produced by George Harrison and has Ringo Starr, Eric Clapton and a lot of other name musicians involved in the soundtrack.

It has a nice way to spend an hour and a half. 

No it has no deep hidden meaning nor will it change your life or make a social statement...but then I watch movies as a bit of escapism...this is one I sought out to own and when it comes out on DVD will buy it in that format as well.

The stand-out cast features Brits Leonard Rossiter, Billy Connolly, Maureen Lipman and Fulton Mackay and Americans Valerie Perrine, Fred Gwynne, Ruby Wax and Jimmie Walker.

Jimmie Walker, everyone…

Jimmie Walker plays the sole radio DJ in the sole radio station on the tiny island. He's hilarious.
Jimmie Walker plays the sole radio DJ in the sole radio station on the tiny island. He’s hilarious.

The charity rock band featured at the end of the movie – The Singing Rebels – features George Harrison (whose Handmade Films produced the movie), Ringo Starr, Eric Clapton and Jon Lord (of Deep Purple).

OK.

Maybe you don’t have the attention span for a movie. So let’s look at a nice 1980’s television show. Something that will take you to a land far, far away.

Maybe a little too far…

Let’s look at the classic…

Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman

A small-town housewife struggles to cope with the increasingly bizarre and violent events unfolding around her. It’s a way that the media was preparing America for the Bill Clinton years.

Mary Hartman. Mary Hartman.
Mary Hartman. Mary Hartman.

Set in fictional Fernwood, Ohio, this deliriously demented serial focused on the beleaguered heroine Mary Hartman, an average American housewife. In the first season, Mary suffered the travails of mass murder, adultery, venereal disease, homosexuality, religious cults, and UFO sightings, before she finally succumbed to a nervous breakdown on a syndicated talk show.

Then, things start to get crazy…

Wow, what a bizarre show 
7 July 2000 | by A-Ron-2 

This was one of those seminal moments in television history, because the 70s seemed to be more open to experimentation and strangeness than certainly the 80s and definitely the 90s.

Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman was a show that was unclassifiable by any standard of TV today. Now, I haven't seen the show in about 15 years (I watched the whole series on tape at a friend of mine's back in the mid or late 80s), but I am sure that it would be just as bizarre and wonderful today as ever.

Martin Mull was brilliant as the psychopathic wife beater, Barth Gimble. I hope that TV Land or some other such channel will pick this show up, because I would really love to see it again.

A more insightfully absurd and comically astute series has not been made. Mix the daily grind of ALL MY CHILDREN, the experimentation of MONTY PYTHON, the self-absorbed and urbane existentialism of WOODY ALLEN and the offbeat quality of BLUE VELVET and you have MARY HARTMAN MARY HARTMAN.

Mary Hartman. Mary Hartman.
Mary Hartman. Mary Hartman.

I grew to love Mary Hartman’s kitchen (and other Fernwood locales) as if they were an extension of my own town and home. Too bad the show couldn’t have lasted longer than it did.

Candide in a consumer society 
melvelvit-1 written on 31 May 2008

A sharply satirical soap opera about a modern-day "Candide" (Louise Lasser) and the dysfunctional pre-fab Americana she inhabits. 

In the opening episodes (beginning 1/76), Mary has to contend with her impotent husband, indifferent daughter, pervert grandpa, hot-to-trot sister, and the massacre of a local family (along with their 2 goats and 8 chickens) but it seems the waxy yellow build-up on her kitchen floor subliminally affected the mass media-influenced Mary more than all the domestic drama combined. 

The absence of a canned laugh track can make viewers feel they're either losing their mind or experiencing a darkly comedic, penetrating pop-culture parody. Possibly both. I loved it then and I love it now!

For a brief period of time, somewhere around 9-11, I was fortunate enough to have viewed, for the first time in 20 years, the first episodes in which Mary is held captive by the guy who “killed the whole Lombardy family, two goats and six chickens”. And thus, from the vantage point of my 40s, I was finally able to really “get it.

Mary Hartman is one of the great emblems of the distress of the mid-20th century American woman. Her hair in childish pigtails while wearing those little girl dresses, Mary was an example of the overly-consumered, growth-stunted American housewife trying to function while in a semi-daze.

...The other thing that makes this tough on reruns is that Mary Hartman was so much a part of the 70's. What's hard to explain to people who weren't there, is how weird the 70's were. 

The whole country was in this very odd mood, partly giddy, partly freaked out, partly numb. 

I don't know if I can explain how Mary Hartman fit in to that, but it did and maybe not enough time has passed where it won't seem dated. 

The other thing is that the show had a whole parallel life running at the same time in the live soap opera of Louise Lasser's sudden fame. Her personal trajectory towards a nervous breakdown tracked Mary Hartman's. 

Do I need to remind everyone of her bizarre interviews in Rolling Stone, her bust for cocaine, and her appearance as the host on SNL, in which she also had a nervous breakdown. 

Years later it came out that this was not faked, that she was ready to refuse to appear on the show minutes before curtain time, and only agreed to appear once Chevy Chase convinced her that if she didn't go on, he'd go on in her place wearing a wig.

-outnaway  9 March 2009
Mary Hartman. Mary Hartman.
Mary Hartman. Mary Hartman.

Her confrontations with adultery, contemporary feminism, and countless other social issues (often found within her own family) while trying to be the perfect little housewife and mother makes her eventual nervous breakdown more than just another crazy plot twist.

In actuality, it was an inevitable progression.

Compare her and her friends and neighbors to Carol Burnett’s Eunice and other 70s television characters like Edith Bunker and you’d have a rather fascinating college course, I think. Perhaps I need to put one together!

Remember when Loretta came over to bring Mary Jell-O with Cracker Jacks suspended in it?

So, for those of you who have a similar fondness for this groundbreaking, offbeat series and to those who have never seen it, here’s to bringing Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman back in reruns.

A demented,glorious, masterpiece 
coop-1616 February 2002

Truly one of the greatest-and least remembered -TV shows of all time.I loved this show back in the seventies. It was a rich tapestry of comic-and touching- characters, exemplified by the naive heroine, Mary Hartman,and her friends, perhaps most unforgettable of whom was would be Country Music queen,Loretta Haggers, played by the sadly underused -and brilliant-Mary Kay Place.

But then this show was rich in fine acting-Dabney Coleman, martin Mull, and Marian Mercer, among others.If the Comedy channel can rerun "soap" why cant they rerun this masterpiece?

I know that it is tough to decide.

Just go hop in the car, and go through a drive through and get a burger. Then on the way ponder which movie or television show to watch. I always find it easier to think on a full stomach. So have the burger and then settle down and choose one…

Burger King's Whopper.
Burger King’s Whopper.

Conclusion

When you are living in a stressful and uncomfortable situation, it is time to sit back, enjoy a frosty beer and disconnect. It will relax your mind and permit you to recover. Nothing is better than reliving times that pre-dated the chaotic life that Americans now live.

Pick your “poison”;

  • Sixteen Candles
  • The Andy Griffith Show (Mayberry RFD)
  • F-Troop
  • Robinson Crusoe on Mars
  • Newhart
  • Ferris Bueller’s day off
  • Weird Science
  • Real Genius
  • Water
  • Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman

Pick one. Rent it, torrent it, or Netflix it.

Get some food and drink.

Take care, and enjoy life. The coronavirus will pass. America will be changed and a new “normal” will manifest. In the meantime, relax.


I do hope that you enjoyed this post. I have more in my Movie Index here…

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When Hollywood still knew how to make movies; The Golden Voyage of Sinbad (1973)

I have composed a number of posts that involved special effects by Ray Harryhausen. I listed them simply because, as a boy, the visuals and the adventure that was portrayed in the movies greatly appealed to me. They influenced me. Which was something that is most certainly lacking in the latest Hollywood fare. (That is, unless you are an LGBT with an inferiority complex.)

Here, I want to discuss another of his great works. The Golden Voyage of Sinbad.

Sinbad and his crew intercept a homunculus carrying a golden tablet. Koura, the creator of the homunculus and practitioner of evil magic, wants the tablet back and pursues Sinbad. Meanwhile Sinbad meets the Vizier who has another part of the interlocking golden map, and they mount a quest across the seas to solve the riddle of the map, accompanied by a slave girl with a mysterious tattoo of an eye on her  palm. They encounter strange beasts, tempests, and the dark interference of Koura along the way.

-AVXHM  
The golden voyage of Sinbad.
The golden voyage of Sinbad is a classic in itself. It too held claim to all sorts of creative monsters, some huge, some multi-limbed, some that flew, and others that were magical. All of which were amazing to me.

The Movie

It all starts to unravel when Sinbad fires an arrow at a strange creature that flies over his ship.

As the creature dodges the arrow, it ends up dropping an amulet it is carrying. Let me pause here for a second. A strange creature? It’s carrying a magic (we suppose, after all what other purpose would an amulet have) amulet, which it drops, and Sinbad gathers up.

Kali
Kali is a multi-armed creature creation that Sinbad must battle with. You can well imagine the problems and issues that you must contend with when dealing with a six armed purple creature.

Sinbad makes landfall, and almost immediately meets an evil sorcerer. We know he is evil because he immediately engages Sinbad in fisticuffs. His attempts to forcibly take the amulet from Sinbad is rebuffed.

The sorcerer’s name is Koura. He’s a fellow that you don’t want to get tangled up with.

So Sinbad seeks out a safe haven, and is eventually granted refuge by the benevolent ruler of the city, known as the Grand Vizier. This fellow too has tangled up with Koura. For today he has been forced to hide his face behind a beaten gold mask. You see, his face is all terribly disfigured after Koura burnt it away with a fireball.

Golden Voyage of Sinbad.
Check out the slave girl that tags along with Sinbad. Yowsa! ( Actress Caroline Munro ) This is how she spends the majority of The Golden Voyage of Sinbad (Gordon Hessler, 1973). Yet, despite the ludicrous neckline and the constant layer of oil/sweat she still manages to draw your eyes up and away from her chest and towards her eyes. It takes a lot of presence to up-stage that bust, but Munro had it by the ton.

The Vizier shows Sinbad a companion amulet and the drawing of a third one. All three amulets form a map that leads to a fountain of youth on the island of Lemuria.

Harryhausen’s creations include the winged, miniature homunculus; an  ensorcelled figurehead that tears itself loose from Sinbad’s ship; a  one-eyed centaur; a gryphon that guards the Fountain of Destiny; and,  most impressively, a six-armed statue of Kali which performs an Indian  dance before dueling against Sinbad’s men with six swords. 

It’s really  the Kali sequence that makes this such a memorable film. 

With his  typical attention to detail, Harryhausen hired an Indian dancer (Surya  Kumari, also a noted actress and singer) to choreograph and perform as  Kali with one of her students strapped to her back. 

The dance was then  scored with Indian musicians, and the sudden switch in flavor (as our  ears have already been conditioned to an hour or so of Rózsa’s romantic  adventure music) is in synch with the charged, magical atmosphere of the  statue coming to life. 

For the swordfight, nearly as elaborate as the  celebrated skeleton battle in Jason and the Argonauts, stunt  choreographer Fernando Poggi tied three of his men together to rehearse  the action with the actors, then removed themselves and let the actors  shadow-box before the cameras, with Harryhausen’s Kali to be added  later. 

It’s a showstopping fight and, it must be said, far more rousing  than the typical poke-with-spears action that so many Harryhausen action  scenes become (or, in fact, the earlier scene with the ship’s  figurehead). It’s one for the highlight reels. 

 -Midnight Only 

With the complete amulet, The Grand Vizier will be able to stop Koura’s ravages on the kingdom. And so Sinbad and the Vizier set sail on an expedition to Lemuria.

Caroline Munro
Listen up. After Caroline Munro was in a 007 film, she entered in one of my all time (yes my absolute all time) favorite cult movies. That’s right. Caroline’s first big role was in 1971, opposite Horror legend Vincent Price in “The Abominable Dr. Phibes” – playing the deceased Mrs. Victoria Regina Phibes. What a woman. What an actress!

However, Koura desires the amulet too. As all bad guys learn sooner or later, there is a price when using dark magic. His use of the amulet has taken it’s tool. For each time he used it, a little bit of life was stolen from him. Thus, he needs and covets that amulet in the vain hope of regaining his youth. You know, the youth and life that each spell he casts steals from him.

Koura sets sail determined to stop them. And thus, the adventure movie begins…

Some Background

It all sort of began with the movie The 7th Voyage of Sinbad (1958). This movie was a landmark in fantasy cinema, and was often imitated over the next decade.

The Seventh Voyage of Sinbad.

Most importantly, it brought to prominence the name of special effects man Ray Harryhausen and his fantastical creatures. Now, Ray Harryhausen was more than just a specialist in the process of stop-motion animation. He was a genus. Here, it is much like claymation. Created figurines are meticulously moved and photographed one frame at a time.

The Golden Voyage of Sinbad
Sinbad (John Philip law) fights the centaur while (slave girl) companion Margiana (Caroline Munro) stands in the background. That’s all very interesting especially how the centaur is pictured.

He was so successful at it that Harryhausen went on to build a substantial career in this field over the next two decades.

He found a nitche in the world of Greek mythology. He would revisit the Sinbad mythos twice, here and later with the movie Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger (1977). The Golden Voyage of Sinbad is one of Ray Harryhausen’s most acclaimed works and one that shows him at the height of his art.

The golden youyage of Sinbad.
Ray Harryhausen demonstrates that special effects don’t need to be state of the art to be edge of the seat, this film sees the adventurer and his crew on a quest to defeat evil magician Koura and solve the riddle of a mysterious interlocking golden map. Sinbad must fight his way past several of Harryhausen’s ingenious stop-motion animated monsters along the way, including a one-eyed centaur, and his own ship’s wooden figurehead, magically brought to life.

Most Ray Harryhausen films tend to be set around Harryhausen’s provision of profound creature effects. Which unfortunately tended to make the real actors and their intervening action rather wooden. However, as a child watching these movies, I noticed none of that.

The same is true with the dialog. No matter how chunky or cheesy it appeared, it always appealed to me. The quest for adventure screamed at me, and the livid monsters occupied my young impressionable mind.

The golden voyage of Sinbad 3
Seriously, just how many movies do you find a griffin doing battle with a minaraur or a cyclops – minataur hybrid? Not often. Well, this movie has this and much, much more.
 When I was a child, The Golden Voyage of Sinbad (1973) and Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger  (1977) were one and the same – a four-hour Sinbad miniseries, with all  the islands, wizards, beautiful girls, and Ray Harryhausen monsters  randomly distributed so that I wasn’t exactly sure which belonged to  which. 

Understand that every trip to the video store meant that I would  stand there, staring at all the boxes, ruling out the R-rated films or  anything that looked remotely adult (verboten when I was a child), and  eventually, inevitably, I would grab a Ray Harryhausen movie and hand it  to my mother or father, who would just say, “This one, again?” 

Jason and the Argonauts (1963), Mysterious Island  (1961), or a Sinbad movie. These films were the foundation stones upon  which my imagination was built. 

Even though the early 80’s belonged to  George Lucas and Steven Spielberg, I always held the Harryhausen films  in special regard. Before I even learned his name, I knew these films  were connected – I recognized the stop-motion animation and the look of  the monsters. (Of course that centaur only has one eye. He’s probably  related to those cyclopes in The 7th Voyage of Sinbad.) 

These films had special  special effects. Having watched just about every non-R-rated fantasy  movie on the video store shelves, I knew there was a significant  difference between One Million B.C. (1940), the Victor Mature movie with lizards and armadillos posing as dinosaurs, and One Million Years B.C.  (1966), the remake with Harryhausen’s pterodactyls lifting Raquel Welch  off the ground. 

You can’t dress a lizard up to look like a pterodactyl.  

The funny thing is that I was appreciating the films from a  point-of-view that was already becoming outdated. The days of  stop-motion were coming to an end, with his swan song, Clash of the Titans  (1981), released around the time that I was just beginning to  appreciate his films. 

Though both Lucas and Spielberg used stop-motion  effects in Star Wars (1977) and Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981), by the end of the decade The Abyss (1989) would announce a new direction for cinema tricks. 

-Midnight Only

Both Brian Clemens and Ray Harryhausen plunder world mythology somewhat indiscriminately. Which more often than not resulted in a kind of peculiar multi-cultural polyglot. Not that it matters, of course, but it is curious.

The golden voyage of Sinbad 4
Caroline Munro looks splendid in her costume, low cut almost everywhere. The rest of the cast support well. Tom Baker is excellent as the villain Koura. He makes him sympathetic; what drives him is common to all people. He just uses different means to gain his ends. He dominates the scenes he is in and it is a pity that more big screen roles never came his way. He was the best ‘Doctor Who’ in the BBC series, in my opinion of course. A good fantasy romp to appeal to the adventurer in all of us. Did I mention Caroline Munro’s costume? Oh, I did.

Today, as an adult, I guess that I am more of a purist. But as a kid, nah… who the heck cared? Consider their broad paintbrush. There is Kali from Hindu religion, a griffin and combination centaur/cyclops from the Greek myths, the homunculus from mediaeval alchemy, Lemuria, and of course the backdrop from the Arabian Nights cycle.

As an aside, did you know that the idea of Lemuria was first posited by biologist Ernst Haeckel in the 1870s. It preceded the notion of continental drift. It was used with the belief of a sunken land in order to  explain how lemurs managed to get between  Africa and India. Later, this theory was bastardized and quickly appropriated by the 19th  Century Theosophist movement.
The golden voyage of Sinbad 5
‘Golden Voyage’ is much better than the later ‘Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger’ and equal to the earlier ‘Seventh Voyage of Sinbad’. The Harryhausen creatures are impressive. Stop motion animation does give solidity to the image, more so than the usual CGI effect. There are some fine ones here including a one eyed centaur, a homunculus, a griffin, a six armed statue, a ship’s wooden figurehead. The story is standard but the effects, the locations and the plot weave together well. There is also a dry humor in the dialogue which is entertaining. Scenes like the sword fight with the six armed statute (with six swords!) or the final confrontation at the fountain of wisdom (or something like that) are exciting. The great Miklos Rosza’s music adds considerably to the atmosphere. John Philip Law is OK as Sinbad and does attempt an Arabian accent unlike the usual English one, but the role isn’t Shakespearean and he does well enough.

All of this trivality is far less important than the spectacular beauty of Ray Harryhausen’s various set-pieces. Which, by this time, were at the absolute peak of their form.

Harryhausen offers us [1] a six-armed statue of Kali brought to life in a sword-duel; [2] a to-the-death battle between a griffin and a cyclopean centaur; [3] a magically animated ship’s figurehead; and, best of all, [4] the homunculus that Tom Baker brings to life, teasing and prodding it, as it lies pinned to a table.

Sinbad the sailor using an early version of Google Maps.
Sinbad the sailor using an early version of Google Maps. This is a fine fantasy/adventure film, and definitely one worth watching by any fans of the genre, as well as Ray Harryhausen fans. The main problem is that the film tends to meander at times. There are also a few minor problems with direction or editing, such as the less-than-convincing sword fight in the cave near the end of the film. Also, the mostly episodic nature of the script lessens the overall impact. It often feels like a string of short stories arbitrarily strung together, although in the end, the overarching goal ties the film together well enough. But what “short stories” those are!
Harryhausen, who made this film with his longtime collaborator and  co-producer Charles H. Schneer, was careful to separate this film from 7th Voyage; he seemed to dislike the label of “sequel.” (In his 2003 book An Animated Life, Harryhausen states that he and Schneer even “strenuously” tried to avoid the term regarding Eye of the Tiger, curiously enough.) 

Indeed, the viewer need not have seen the former film, though naturally it exists in its shadow. The 7th Voyage of Sinbad is a classic of fantasy filmmaking to stand beside its chief inspiration, The Thief of Bagdad (1940). 

Golden Voyage  is just another fun Harryhausen movie, the perfect way to pass a  Saturday afternoon. 

Law does a credible job as our new Sinbad (replacing  7th Voyage‘s Kerwin Mathews), embodying Harryhausen’s image of the Arabian Nights hero: handsome, athletic, but not a bodybuilder. 

The  story, conceived by Harryhausen and revised, polished, and scripted by  Brian Clemens (of the TV series The Avengers, as well as Captain Kronos,  which also featured Caroline Munro), sends Sinbad on a treasure hunt on  behalf of a disfigured Vizier in a golden mask (Douglas Wilmer, Jason and the Argonauts).  

Their quest involves retrieving the lost pieces of an amulet, which  will point the way to an ancient, magical source of great knowledge and  power. 

There’s always an evil magician in pursuit, of course, and in  this case it’s Baker’s Prince Koura, who controls gargoyle-like  homunculi and lusts after the same prize. 

The story might be  perfunctory, but it’s well-paced, with attractive location shooting in  Spain to stand in for both the fictionalized Middle East and Lemuria. (Plans to shoot in India – which would have provided a wonderful look to the film – were discarded after hearing horror stories about “appalling  red tape and bureaucracy” encountered by other Hollywood productions shooting there.) 

Composer Miklós Rózsa (The Thief of Bagdad, Ben-Hur) is the ideal stand-in for 7th Voyage‘s Bernard Herrmann, capturing the appropriate “Orientalist” feel. 

 -Midnight Only 

The Golden Voyage of Sinbad is also notable for many of the up-and-coming stars. There is Tom Baker who, the following year, would become the fourth incarnation of tv’s Doctor Who (1963-89). There is cult queen Caroline Munro; and Martin Shaw, later hunk hero of Clemens’ superior action man tv show The Professionals.

The Golden Voyage of Sinbad 7
The script, production/set design and costumes easily propel you into a captivating fantasy world, and Harryhausen’s creatures, as always, are a delight to watch. No, they’re not exactly realistic–no more realistic looking than cgi, in my opinion–but I’m not looking for realism when I watch a film like this. I’m looking for brilliant artistry, especially if it is an adventure with pretty girls, and Harryhausen’s stop-motion animated creatures fit the bill.

Conclusion

This is a great movie to introduce the kids to, to spend a lazy hazy august afternoon, or just to relax to. There are some amazing scenes, and nowhere else in movie-land will you see a six-armed statue of Kali which performs an Indian dance before dueling against Sinbad’s men with six swords. I enjoyed it and I think that maybe you the reader would enjoy it as well.

Ray Harryhausen’s other films

Links

Torrent Links

You can watch it for free if you don’t mind waiting a half an hour to half a day to download the torrent.

For those of you who are unaware. Torrents are parts of files that are spread out in tiny packets all over the internet. You use a "Bit Torrent" client to vacuum up all those little bits and pieces of the file. It then assembles the file into a movie that you can watch. The time that this takes can vary from a few minutes to weeks depending on how popular or obscure your searched file is.

You will need an application to manage the download. I recommend the free application VUZE. To download the video is thus easy. Install VUZE, and then click on one of the following torrent links.

Depending on where you live, you might not have the freedom to access these sites and the ISP might block them from access, or the search engines might black out their search results. Americans, in particular, might have some real problems. Therefore, I listed the most accessible torrent sites available to Americans. Pirate Bay and 1337X. I think that Kick Ass Torrents is still blocked for all Americans.

Movies that Inspired Me

Here are some movies that I consider noteworthy and worth a view. Enjoy.

The Seventh Voyage of Sinbad.
Jason and the Argonauts

Stories that Inspired Me

Here are reprints in full text of stories that inspired me, but that are nearly impossible to find in China. I place them here as sort of a personal library that I can use for inspiration. The reader is welcome to come and enjoy a read or two as well.

Link
Space Cadet (Full Text) by Robert Heinlein
Link
Link
Link
Link
Link
Link
Link
Link
The Last Night
The Flying Machine
A story of escape.
All Summer in a day.
The Smile by Ray Bradbury
The menace from Earth
Delilah and the Space Rigger
Life-Line
The Tax-payer
The Pedestrian
Time for the stars.
Glory Road by Robert Heinlein
Starman Jones (Full Text) by Robert Heinlein.
The Lottery (Full Text) by Shirley Jackson
The Cold Equations (Full Text)
Farnham's Freehold (Full Text) by Robert Heinlein
Invisible Boy (Full Text) by Ray Bradbury
Job: A Comedy of Justice (Full Text) by Robert Heinlein
Spell my name with an "S" by Isaac Asimov
The Proud Robot (Full Text)
The Time Locker
Not the First (Full Text) by A.E. van Vogt

My Poetry

My Kitten Knows

Articles & Links

You’ll not find any big banners or popups here talking about cookies and privacy notices. There are no ads on this site (aside from the hosting ads – a necessary evil). Functionally and fundamentally, I just don’t make money off of this blog. It is NOT monetized. Finally, I don’t track you because I just don’t care to.

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When Hollywood still made good movies; Jason and The Argonauts (1963)

Here we look at a wonderful, much under-appreciated, movie with special effects by Ray Harryhausen. It’s title is “Jason and The Argonauts” and it is simply beyond awesome. Words cannot describe what an impact that this move had on me as a young boy in the 1960’s.

But I will try…

There is a spectacular sequence in Harryhausen's most popular picture  "Jason and the Argonauts" in which Jason and his crew do battle with  seven sword fighting skeletons. 

This is surely one of the greatest  special effects sequences in motion picture history. There are shots in  which the screen is filled with the men fighting all seven skeletons.  

This means that Harryhausen would have to move each of the seven  skeletons such that they match the chaotic live action footage of the  men mock-fighting, shoot a frame, move them again one by one, shoot a  frame, and so on. 24 frames make one second of action. 

It is hard to  imagine how Harryhausen did all the special effects on his films solo  (save for his first and last films, on which he had help). And it is not  surprising that the skeleton sequence from "Jason" took him four months  to complete. 

 -Great Movies of my Childhood 

This was one of those films I always remember seeing as a child and I will absolutely never forgot those skeletons which I think is Ray Harryhausen’s best work.

Ah. The skeletons

Summary

It’s Greek mythology placed on screen; larger than life.

(Well-known & quite famous) Greek hero Jason takes a group by ship to search for the Golden Fleece. It’s not an easy sail. He uses the latest in nautical technology for the time, including a high-tech ship complete with magical navigational aides. However the crew has to encounter several dangers on the way.

The dangers start to raise their ugly heads when they lay anchor at an island to obtain provisions. You see this island is filled with bronze statues. In case you are unaware, bronze statues at that time was equivalent to swarm drones, and Mach-3 jet fighters.

Since these bronze statues are so valuable, the crew starts to get some funny and crazy ideas. One of the crew decides to go into one of the bronze statue guarded tombs. You know, to “look around”. He sees a beautiful gold sword, and of course… he just has to have it. So he takes it….

Big mistake.

This act wakes up Talos. Talos is the guardian of all the tombs. Thus, Talos comes to life and attacks the crew. Now, Talos is this big terminator bronze statue. It goes on an absolute rampage killing, crushing and destroying everything.

The good news is that eventually Talos is destroyed. Though, not without a cost. For during their escape from Talos, their ship is destroyed.

So, here they are trapped on the island. They start to explore it. They search for food water, and (perhaps) loot. While on the search of the island, they come across a blind man. This poor fella is being attacked by two cheeky Harpies who keep eating his food.

Eventually, they all get captured.

They continue their journey and encounter Neptune (he’s a major player; a God of that time) and arrive at their ultimate destination. Which is the island where the Golden Fleece is.

Before getting the Golden Fleece, Jason must fight and kill a Hydra. A Hydra is a many headed beast that likes to eat humans. Well, (spoiler alert) he does manage to kill it. The best part of the movie is of course those skeletons near the end. Jason manages to defeat them when they fall off a cliff into the sea. Hooray!

This has to be one of, if not the best, of Harryhausen’s movies. And, Bernard Herrmann was responsible for the excellent music.

The Movie

Jason and the Argonauts battles it out with The 7th Voyage of Sinbad as the most popular Ray Harryhausen epic. I know that I have a difficult time deciding which movie is better. (Though, Ray Harryhausen has indicated that Jason and the Argonauts his very own personal favorite. )

They certainly must have had fun filming it.

The crew filmed many of the scenes on beautify sunny Italian locations. These locations gave the movie special significance, and I’m sure the jealously of the rest of Hollywood. For at that time (when the picture was produced) most “sword ‘n’ sandal” movies were shot on Hollywood stages, or barring that, in the California desert a mere few hours drive away.

This movie is chock full of testosterone-filled animation interspersed with actors engaged in theatrical dramatic scenes. The colors, the story line, the visuals, and the novelty all play a significant role in the success of this movie.

In the wake of computer generated graphics, Harryhausen's work may strike some as dated, but this is actually part of its charm, for we will never see its like on screen again; it has a certain visual appeal not found in contemporary films, and Harryhausen's creations always have remarkable personality.  

Topping the cake is an absolutely superb score by Bernard Herrmann. This guy is so good, and the music so powerful, that it’s mentally difficult to separate his music from Harryhausen’s amazing images. (This is my plug for this artist.)

At the time, this movie was the F/X dream, for that time period. Much like how the movie The Matrix revolutionized movies and scripts. This movie set a pace and a high bar for other adventures to follow. And, I am sad to say, it was so high that few movies did actually follow.

Jason on board his ship.
Jason on board his ship. The film as a whole is very much like a superior sword-and-sandal epic of the 1950s and 1960s, very colorful and over-run with manly men and beautiful dancing girls. A bit slow to start, once the story line is established the pace leaps forward–and we are treated to some of Harryhausen’s most enjoyable creations, including Talos, the bronze statue; two of the most evil looking harpies you can imagine; a really nasty hydra; and Harryhausen’s most famous (and his own personal favorite) bit of work: an attack by skeleton warriors.

This movie is an adaptation of the Greek story about Jason and the Golden Fleece.

Most people will find this film an excellent choice as a “family night” film. As for Harryhausen fans–the film is a must-see, must-own, and must-watch as often as possible!

In Greek mythology, the Golden Fleece is the fleece of the golden-woolled, winged ram, which was heldin Colchis. The fleece is a symbol of authority and kingship. It figures in the tale of the hero Jason and his crew of Argonauts, who set out on a quest for the fleece by order of King Pelias, in order to place Jason rightfully on the throne of Iolcus in Thessaly. Through the help of Medea, they acquire the Golden Fleece. The story is of great antiquity and was current in the time of Homer. 

-Wilipedia

Luckily, the movie adaptation doesn’t take too many liberties with the root mythological tale. Though purists would argue that it actually does go off the deep end (This opinion varies considerably depending on which source is consulted.).

In this movie, we have the interplay of the Greek Gods, and their role over the lives of men. The movie places the Gods in a gilded Olympus paradise. The well-paired Zeus and Hera, are husband & wife deities that work out their domestic squabbles by playing chess games. Only the chess games use ambitious mortals like Jason.

All in all, they manage to keep tabs on Jason’s adventures by viewing a kind of celestial television. (!)

Jason and The Argonauts
Jason and The Argonauts. Jason was an ancient Greek mythological hero who was the leader of the Argonauts whose quest for the Golden Fleece featured in Greek literature. He was the son of Aeson, the rightful king of Iolcos. He was married to the sorceress Medea. He was also the great-grandson of the messenger god Hermes, through his mother’s side.

The Olympian interludes add a wry humor to the proceedings. Though, myself, I found life on Olympias rather dull and boring.

Jason shows up as the “man with one sandal” to fulfill a curse placed on the venal King Pelias. I know, I know… It’s difficult to translate. I just figure that it’s a matter of identity politics and leave it at that.

The wild quest to bring back the prize of the Golden Fleece gets a thumbs-up from the collected deities. I figure that this is mainly because Pelias wants Jason out of the way.

Thus, the King sends along his son Acastus to make sure that everything goes as planned.

With a crack crew of athletes and warriors, including the popular Hercules , Jason sets sail in a proud ship built by Argos. After tangling with various fantastic obstacles (after all, that is what heroes do) put in his path by Zeus, Jason reaches the far-off land of Colchis.

Oh Jason. He falls in love with the sorceress Medea. But what do you expect. He falls victim to treachery. It turns out that Medea’s father King Aeëtes has absolutely no intention of allowing the Argonauts steal his nation’s most prized possession.

A great deal could be written about the numerous choices made in  reconstructing the story for a modern movie-going audience, but for our  purposes, we are going to zero in on one of the film’s most memorable  components. No, not Jason. Not Argonauts, either. I’m talking, of  course, about the mountainous man of bronze, Talos.
 
There’s a wealth of reasons why Jason and the Argonauts continues to entertain over half a century later, and Talos is most certainly one of the biggest. 

Literally. Brought to life through the inimitable stop motion effects of the late, great Ray Harryhausen,the towering Talos appears early in the film to give the Argonauts a considerable thrashing after Heracles unwittingly disturbs his slumber.  

It’s generally unwise to steal broach pins from the gods for use as a  javelin, but Heracles evidently didn’t get that particular memo.

-GRST 202 Blog

Of all of Ray Harryhausen’s movies, Jason and the Argonauts is closest to his heart. In life, he found mythological fantasies more exciting than science fiction monsters. As such, he wanted very much to tell the story of the Golden Fleece in classic terms.

Talos
It shouldn’t take much brain power to reason why Columbia Pictures produced Jason and the Argonauts as a fantasy epic in the early 1960s. As one of the oldest known hero tales, Jason’s quest is chock full of what we would nowadays consider archetypal elements of the genre: the stoic protagonist, the repulsive villain, a dangerous romance, a clearly defined objective, impossible odds, and of course, a series of treacherous obstacles that provide the spectacle. In short, it’s an easy sell.

The film is of course now a legend unto itself and contains some of Harryhausen’s most difficult animation and classiest designs.

  • The bronze giant Talos creates an intimidating sense of scale as it stalks Jason’s men on a beach.
  • The harpies scream and claw as they’re captured, apparently animated while under a net.
  • The seven-headed Hydra is Harryhausen’s most successful mythological creation, a beast so well designed that it seems biologically credible.
  • The skeletal “Children of the Hydra’s Teeth” do much more than top the single skeleton warrior in 7th Voyage. Soldiers battling armies of the dead recur in classical paintings, giving the combat a macabre edge. The sight of Jason and his swordsmen fighting them en masse is also a brilliant substitute for the lame battle scenes of other sword ‘n’ sandal epics.

Indeed, those skeletal beings were a triumph of Harryhausen’s F/X technique. Truthfully, the sequence must have required more animation work than the rest of the movie put together. You can easily see this, as the seven skeletons fight in so many individual camera setups.

Unlike most Harryhausen set pieces, the skeleton battle constantly cuts to new angles. With so much happening simultaneously in each shot, it’s hard to keep up — which prompts the use of words like, “breathtaking”.

 Talos, of course, has a history deeply rooted in classical Greek  myth. Often considered the earliest conceptualization of a robot, Talos  is usually found associated with the gods Hephaestus and Zeus. Sometimes  he’s a leftover of the Zeus-created bronze generation, other times he’s  the offspring or father of Hephaestus, sometimes he’s a gift from Zeus  to King Minos, other times a gift from Hephaestus to Zeus – the  permutations are endless. 

Regardless of the myth, however, one connection remains consistent: the Cretan word from which Talos derives his name – talios, meaning “sun” – was frequently used by those islanders as a name for the king of the gods himself.  Not only does this shared use of the term allude to the giant’s  immense power, but it also hints at his role as a somewhat paternal  figure. Indeed, Talos was known as the tireless guardian of Crete, a  sentinel who would circumambulate the island three times daily to  moderate the behavior and livelihood of its citizens.  

Moreover, he would vigorously defend his land from any intruders, and  in keeping with his solar-derived name, his preferred method of  executing perceived threats was, by all accounts, incineration.  Depending on who you ask, the giant would either snatch up poor souls  and leap with them into a flaming vat, or he would heat up his own  metallic body to incredible degrees and scorch his opponents through  mere physical interaction. 

His  love of turning folks to ash was unfortunately excised from his  on-screen debut, but that does not make his appearance in the film any  less memorable.

 Though traditionally depicted as Crete’s conservator, Jason and the Argonauts finds  Talos holding watch over the aptly named (and movie-created) “Isle of  Bronze,” placed there by Hephaestus to guard Zeus’s armory.  

-GRST 202 Blog 

Kids back in 1963 reacted strongly to almost everything in the picture.

Tipped off by Famous Monsters magazine, many of us waited anxiously for the next jolting effects scene to begin. We were also thrilled by Nigel Green’s hale & hearty Hercules and cheered the announcement of his name. We fully accepted the idea that a strong man shouldn’t have to be so buff that he couldn’t walk through a normal door.

Famous Monsters Magazine
Tipped off by Famous Monsters magazine, many of us waited anxiously for the next jolting effects scene to begin. We were also thrilled by Nigel Green’s hale & hearty Hercules and cheered the announcement of his name. We fully accepted the idea that a strong man shouldn’t have to be so buff that he couldn’t walk through a normal door.

As in The Magnificent Seven, the assembling of Jason’s all-star collection of sailors / assault troops primed us for what we hoped would be the greatest sword & spear battle of all time. And… and we were not disappointed.

Jason fights a giant bronze statue.
One of the most legendary adventures in all mythology is brought to life in Jason and the Argonauts, an epic saga of good and evil. As a mere boy Jason, the heir to the kingdom of Ancient Greece, witnesses the murder of his father at the hands of his ruthless uncle, Pelias.

The film’s smoothly professional acting impressed me.

With all of those classy English accents flying about, Jason and the Argonauts had a credibility that the various Sons of Hercules lacked. Even the middle-aged Laurence Naismith looked righteously rugged, dressed only in a loincloth and clinging to the prow of the Argo: “Pull ’til your hearts burst and your backs break!”

 You see, Talos might be made of bronze, but he draws his life force from a single vein flowing down his back to his heel, where it is stopped by some sort of large plug. Whether described as a nail or a pin, that plug naturally  gets pulled at some point by one of the heroes, thus draining Talos of life. In many cases that hero is Medea, who uses trickery to deceive the  living statue, while in others it is the Argonaut Poeas who knocks out the stopper with his trusty bow and arrow.  

Seeing as how the adventurers have yet to encounter Medea at this point  in the film and that Poeas is absent entirely, the eponymous hero himself takes up the deed, acting under the guidance of Hera. Even  disregarding the aforementioned characters’ absences, it makes sense to  thrust this duty upon Jason in this context. As his first act of true  heroism, the defeat of the Talos establishes Jason as a courageous leader and a man fit for this epic quest – someone capable of navigating the many challenges that lie ahead. 

-GRST 202 Blog  

In his old “Film Fantasy Scrapbook” Harryhausen mentioned that he was impressed by the fact that the hero Jason’s big quest is really a raid for loot. He believed that the Argonauts are little more than thieves.

Those foreigners beyond the clashing rocks have exactly what Greece needs, a magic charm that brings peace, plenty and prosperity.

Jason as a nice-guy hero doesn’t get in the way of the colorful supporting actors and the giant monsters. However, it’s quite odd to see Medea as virtuous. After all, she sells out her father, her country and her religion for a fling with the new boy in town.

Obviously, there’s a reason why the movie doesn’t dig into the psychology behind the myths. And it shouldn’t. For Jason and the Argonauts is a splendid fantasy of spectacular adventure no more and no less.

Jason fights a many headed monster.
Jason has been prophesied to take the throne of Thessaly. When he saves Pelias from drowning, but does not recognize him as the man who had earlier killed his father, Pelias tells Jason to travel to Colchis to find the Golden Fleece. Jason follows his advice and assembles a sailing crew of the finest men in Greece, including Hercules. They are under the protection of Hera, queen of the gods. Their voyage is replete with battles against harpies, a giant bronze Talos, a hydra, and an animated skeleton army, all brought to life by the special effects wizardry of Ray Harryhausen.

It’s been a long time since I last watched this movie. It was on a blistery “school day” when all the roads were iced over, and I was around ten years old at the time. Never the less, the torrent that I watched was spectacular, clear and colorful.

Jason and the Argonauts attend a party.
The legendary Greek hero leads a team of intrepid adventurers in a perilous quest for the legendary Golden Fleece. Jason has been prophesied to take the throne of Thessaly. When he saves Pelias from drowning, but does not recognize him as the man who had earlier killed his father, Pelias tells Jason to travel to Colchis to find the Golden Fleece. Jason follows his advice and assembles a sailing crew of the finest men in Greece, including Hercules. They are under the protection of Hera, queen of the gods. Their voyage is replete with battles against harpies, a giant bronze Talos, a hydra, and an animated skeleton army.

I have read reports that there were alterations to the original film.

For years, 16mm copies of Jason  placed Medea's temple dance way out of sequence, before the Argonauts  reach Colchis. The Blu-ray of course fixes this while improving on all  earlier home video releases. Grover Crisp of Sony wisely chose a  slightly taller 1:66 aspect ratio, which adds image to the top and  bottom of the frame while placing narrow pillars at the sides of the HD  image. Harryhausen purists will be pleased to see less cropping of the  effects. The added color detail of Blu-ray brings out hidden character  in the main title artwork, and gives the green highlights on Talos'  bronze skin more definition. Likewise, the Golden Fleece is returned to  its impressive sparkly-but-organic look -- the golden glow effect has  been toned down quite a bit. 
A beautiful woman rides with Jason in the movie Jason and the Argonauts.
What kind of adventure would Jason and the Argonauts be if there wasn’t a beautiful woman to lead and inspire? That’s what tradition, history and legends all say. And what about this lass. Such a lovely and attractive woman.

I do like the movie, and it’s an absolute fact that the movie uses clever camera tricks and some well made miniatures. Yes, of course the effects all look out dated now but they still surprisingly, look convincing enough and at times they are even still simply breathtaking and spectacular to look at.

Especially of course the legendary, fantastic end fight against the skeleton warriors. The story is like good entertainment should be; Adventurous, exciting and simple to follow. The movie truly is non stop fun entertainment to watch with lots of spectacular moments with the legendary skeleton fight as the ultimate highlight.

You don’t have to be a fan of ‘classic’ movies in order to enjoy this movie, everyone should be able to appreciate this movie and be entertained by it, especially when you are a fan of ancient Greek tales.

Something that is not praised enough of this movie is the musical score by Bernard Herrmann. The movie is not exactly filled with impressive and memorable actors. As many movies as I have seen in my life, I don’t think I have ever seen any actors from this movie in any other movie, with the exception of course of Honor Blackman who will always be remembered for playing the Bond girl Pussy Galore in “Goldfinger”.

But this movie clearly isn’t a character-adventure movie, it’s a special effect adventure movie. The special effects are really the most important element of the movie. So for the fans of special effects this is especially most definitely a must see. A movie that should be fun and enjoyable to everyone, of all ages.

The Gods do like to play.
The Gods do like to play. Here is a scene where two Gods conspire to have some fun, and create some hurtles for Jason and the Argonauts to overcome. Ah, such is Greek myth.

Heracles is presented, not as a young ripped body builder, but as one would expect a middle-aged strong man to be: Formidable, a little grey and a little swaggering. It’s a perfect imagery.

Argos, the ship builder, is tan and fat, as one would expect the veteran of many sea voyages to be.

The crew looks like what one would expect a crew of ancient Greeks to look like. The acting is not spectacular, but sincere. No one looks embarrassed to be in this movie. It is tight with great special effects…

It’s wonderful for children…

Outstanding battle scenes.
As entertainment this movie is perfect. The movie is a fun adventurous one, with lots of spectacular moments and fights. From a technical point of view this movie is even a masterpiece. The stop-motion scene’s created by special effects pioneer Ray Harryhausen is simply brilliant and makes this movie one of the most influential and important one’s, when it comes to special effects.

The seven-headed Hydra is another technical marvel.

Talos. There are some other nifty creatures for Jason and his crew to battle, but for me, the most impressive of them all turns up first: the gigantic Talos, the Man of Bronze.

I was a kid when this came out, and I don’t think I’ll ever forget that moment when the huge, crouched statue came to life, turned his head towards the two men below him (his bronze head screeching with the tear of metal), climbed off of his pedestal, and proceeded to chase Jason and his men.

Fantastic movie with great visuals.
What do I like about this movie…besides Harryhausin’s special effects? Besides the frenetic battle with the skeletons and the seemingly hopeless fight against the statue of Talos? I like the way the people are presented, I suppose…

Talos was giant like Godzilla, but as single-minded as the Terminator: all he wants to do is track Jason’s crew down until he kills them all. This gave me nightmares.

Tom Hanks, who was also a kid when this came out, has said: "Everybody thinks that 'Citizen Kane' was the greatest movie ever made. But if you were young in 1963, you know the real answer is: 'Jason and the Argonauts.'" 
Jason and the Argonauts - the bossman.
This is his finest movie. Possibly. His first “Sinbad” film in 1958 had one moving skeleton for the hero to fight; this one has a whole platoon of them, each part painstakingly moved one tiny distance at a time personally by Harryhausen through stop-motion techniques.

In today’s world it may seem below standard compared to computer effects, but for those of us growing up in that time period, the Harryhausen style of special effects will continue to bring back warm memories of those years. With computer graphics, you see it and like it the first time you see it, but then many movies of today have the same and it becomes moot.

Jason and the Argonauts was one of those few movies at the time along with the Sinbad saga that lives on in your heart. The pace of the film is perfectly put together along with the many creatures, 7-headed hydra, huge fish-man, huge metal man and skeletons fighting is what makes it a classic which lives on in the hearts of those growing up in the sixties.

Dealing with flying Harpies.
Back in 1963 I was only 5 at the time, but I can still remember seeing and watching the movie and being totally awed with the effects created by Ray Harryhausen. Flying and attacking harpies! My goodness!

I enjoyed this as a kid, but now I look at it with different eyes.

Consider the subsequent misery of Jason and Medea, a gory tragedy of domestic abuse and revenge. It’s sad. No wonder there was no sequel to Jason, as the official follow-up is a timeless lesson. Perhaps it’s a lesson on what happens to women who love ambitious and unscrupulous glory-hunters.

Never the less, even with this glimpse of foreboding, I still enjoy the movie.

Greek myths are coded chronicles of human weakness, vice and crimes. I think that smart schoolteachers, politically restrained from addressing real-life issues, can use the Greek original tales to make kids think about the harsh facts of life.

A quiet moment.
Jason and The Argonauts is a great film to watch and escape reality. This is one of those movies that you know is not real but you just enjoy it and have fun watching it anyways. I think this film is underrated because it was not given one Oscar nomination. For certain, I think this film should have been nominated for Best Art Direction and Set Decoration, at the bare minimum. Not to mention, Cinematography, Bernard Herrmann’s Original Score and Film Editing.

As I have already mentioned, the scene that I remember the most (and pershpas what everyone else remembers as well) is the Skeleton Fight at the end which took Ray Harryhausen and special effects crew three months to create that entire sequence.

Talos had me frozen with fear and the Hydra and the skeletons were sights my eyes could not believe. I think that for first-time viewers, you might be somewhat primed for something similar to other movies of this kind of adventure, but Jason and the Argonauts will definitely be anything but what you are expecting.

This is a Great movie and I encourage all of “The Lord of The Rings” fans to watch this and see a great masterpiece of classic fantasy and old fashioned special effects.

A many headed beast.
The fascinating odyssey of Jason in search of the Golden Fleece. This is an adventure movie in the old style, with no pretensions, no pomposity… The genius and pioneer of the special effects Ray Harryhaussen gave us a handful of superhuman creatures who make things quite difficult for the brave Jason. Some may think this special effects or the movie itself are obsolete. OK, now read this: the movie was made 43 years ago, Harryhaussen made them without computers or digital effects… so, show some respect!! In short: the movie is just fantastic.

Most, if not all, children love the film.

And for all one’s intellectual talk about the vulgarising of mythology and the crudity of the screenplay, there is no denying that this movie is spectacular on many levels.

It is blatantly obvious to all viewers that Harryhausen contrived to bring a lot of sparkle, excitement and fun into the world of fantastic cinema. At this he absolutely succeeded.

Gods help the boat pass through.
To regain his rightful place as the King of Thessaly, Jason must traverse deadly seas to the land of Colchis where a Golden Fleece of magical powers is housed. Assembling a crew of the toughest men around, and aided by the Goddess Hera, Jason and his Argonauts set sail unbeknown that perils await at every port.

For sure it’s got a “B” movie heart, and no film in this genre is without a high cheese quota, but it’s technically one of the genres best and for daring do shenanigans it has no peers.

The gorgeous Mediterranean photography courtesy of Wilkie Cooper (Dynamation 90) goes hand in hand with the boisterously mythical score from Bernard Hermann, while Chaffrey's direction of the human aspects is solid and safe in preparation for Harryhausen's magic to move in and take over. The cast may not cover themselves in glory, and yes at times some of them are a touch wooden, with only Honor Blackman (Hera) and Nigel Green (Hercules) seemingly able to grasp the sense of fun that is meant to be had. 

Here, in this movie, we have a big quest adventure containing harpies, a hydra, a giant bronze statue intent on destroying all, clashing rocks, angry gods and a brilliant Harryhausen skeleton army – well it’s all good, really isn’t it!

Here’s an interesting review, but I forgot from whence I dug it up from…

'Jason and the Argonauts' is a truly family fantasy-adventure film,  directed with wit and excitement... Beverley Cross's fine script is both  imaginative and literate, and Bernard Herrmann's score is stirring... 

The  word "Argonaut" comes from a tale sung of the strongest and bravest  band of heroes ever assembled in Greek Mythology... This myth chronicles  Jason's quest for the 'gift of the gods,' and the restoration of his  family's throne... 

There is an interesting theme that runs  through the entire motion picture: man must manage alone without the  help of the gods whether they exist or not... 

In times past,  fate ruled men's lives completely... The gods often amused themselves  with the puny mortal men below... Fate is still an important factor in  Jason's time (He has been prophesied to overthrow King Pelias...), but  man chooses his own life's course... Jason lost his believe in the gods,  and Zeus questions what has taken the place of man's faith in the  gods... Jason replies: "The hearts of men. "

Jason rejects Zeus'  offer to supply him with 'a ship and a crew,' and assembles dozen of  Greece's greatest heroes, including the legendary Hercules...  Nevertheless he accepts Hera's pledge to help him with the information  and advice... 

Jason has learned that prayers to the gods are not  always answered... "The gods are best served by those who want their  help least," Zeus alibis... When humans obtain the help of the gods,  they know they must push forward... For instance, when Triton holds the  quaking mountains, the Argonauts still must navigate their ship away  from the dangerous rocks that continue to fall...

Jason dared to  speak of the end of the gods, and challenges Zeus when he eliminates  Talos, who guards Zeus' treasures... And when the Argonauts imprison the  evil harpies whom Zeus sent to torment a desperate sinner, Zeus admits:  "If I were to punish every blasphemy, I would soon loose all loyalty  and respect." 

Of the gods, Jason says, "In time all men will  have to do without them." Such words alarm Zeus, and he recognizes as  much to Hera, whom he considers "almost human" for staying with him  despite such weakness... But the gods still have enough power to do  their will... At the picture's end Zeus tells Hera that he will allow  Jason and his pretty Medea to enjoy 'each other,' but he adds, "I have  not yet finished with Jason... Let us continue with the game another  day."

Todd Armstrong is the young and hot blooded Jason who  schemes to seize the Golden Fleece from King Aeetes, and saves Pelias  from drowning one day, losing his sandal in the river... 

Nancy Kovack is Medea, the provocative high priestess of Colchis who is charmed with love for Jason and aid him in his quest...

Gary Raymond is Acastus, the son of Pelias sent to disrupt the voyage by causing dissension in the crew...

Niall MacGinnis is Zeus who decides to challenge Jason and the Argonauts with many trials...

Honor Blackman is the cunning Hera, the queen of the gods, who outmaneuvered  Zeus, and intervened on several occasions to facilitate Jason's tasks...  Hera wishes to destroy Pelias because he was treacherous and her temple  was profane... 

Michael Gwynn is Hermes who transports Jason to Olympus to speak with the gods... 

Jack Gwillim is King Aeetes who collects the hydra's teeth from its seven heads, and confronts Jason high on a cliff...

John Cairney is the clever Hylas who uses his intelligence to beat Hercules in a test of skill... 

Douglas Wilmer is the nefarious Pelias, who plots a devious plan to send Jason on an impossible quest, in a faraway land, to fetch the magical Golden  Fleece... 

Nigel Green is Hercules, the bravest and strongest  warrior who vows to search the Isle of Bronze until he finds his friend  Hylos...

Patrick Troughton is the old and weak Phineas cursed  with an insatiable appetite and the flying harpies left enough putrid  morsels for him to survive his torment...

'Jason and the  Argonauts' is a tale of love and betrayal, friendship and fortune... It  is nearly 40 years old but it still holds up as one of the semi-classic  mythological fantasy which provides a framework for some splendid  stop-frame animation... 

Jason and the Argonauts is a fun movie. 

The open ended nature of the story does hurt the film, but just come for the classic effects.  Fans of mythology will enjoy the adventure, and it could introduce kids to classic stories.  Jason and the Argonauts is definitely worth revisiting or seeking out if you’ve never seen it.

It’s also perfect fare for those lazy dog-day afternoons, or snowed-in weekends. It entertains on numerous levels. It is visually appealing, and wondrous overall.

Links

Here’s some links that you all might find of interest.

Torrent Links

You can watch it for free if you don’t mind waiting a half an hour to half a day to download the torrent.

For those of you who are unaware. Torrents are parts of files that are spread out in tiny packets all over the internet. You use a "Bit Torrent" client to vacuum up all those little bits and pieces of the file. It then assembles the file into a movie that you can watch. The time that this takes can vary from a few minutes to weeks depending on how popular or obscure your searched file is.

You will need an application to manage the download. I recommend the free application VUZE. To download the video is thus easy. Install VUZE, and then click on one of the following torrent links.

Depending on where you live, you might not have the freedom to access these sites and the ISP might block them from access, or the search engines might black out their search results. Americans, in particular, might have some real problems. Therefore, I listed the most accessible torrent sites available to Americans. Pirate Bay and 1337X. I think that Kick Ass Torrents is still blocked for all Americans.

Movies that Inspired Me

Here are some movies that I consider noteworthy and worth a view. Enjoy.

The Seventh Voyage of Sinbad.

Stories that Inspired Me

Here are reprints in full text of stories that inspired me, but that are nearly impossible to find in China. I place them here as sort of a personal library that I can use for inspiration. The reader is welcome to come and enjoy a read or two as well.

Link
Space Cadet (Full Text) by Robert Heinlein
Link
Link
Link
Link
Link
Link
Link
Link
The Last Night
The Flying Machine
A story of escape.
All Summer in a day.
The Smile by Ray Bradbury
The menace from Earth
Delilah and the Space Rigger
Life-Line
The Tax-payer
The Pedestrian
Time for the stars.
Glory Road by Robert Heinlein
Starman Jones (Full Text) by Robert Heinlein.
The Lottery (Full Text) by Shirley Jackson
The Cold Equations (Full Text)
Farnham's Freehold (Full Text) by Robert Heinlein
Invisible Boy (Full Text) by Ray Bradbury
Job: A Comedy of Justice (Full Text) by Robert Heinlein
Spell my name with an "S" by Isaac Asimov
The Proud Robot (Full Text)
The Time Locker
Not the First (Full Text) by A.E. van Vogt

My Poetry

My Kitten Knows

Articles & Links

You’ll not find any big banners or popups here talking about cookies and privacy notices. There are no ads on this site (aside from the hosting ads – a necessary evil). Functionally and fundamentally, I just don’t make money off of this blog. It is NOT monetized. Finally, I don’t track you because I just don’t care to.

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