What it is like to live in a truly free society. No it’s not the USA, and no it’s not China either.

It’s actually Albania.

Life is better in a third world “shit hole” than in the fabled land of the free and home of the brave… 

-stevennonemaker88

I argue that America has become a totalitarian, oligarchy-run, military empire, that pretends to be a “democracy”.

Meanwhile, China has become a traditionalist, merit-driven, single-party, socialist republic.

Both nations have their benefits and liabilities. But the bottom line is always a simple one. How “free” do the people feel who live inside these nations?

Let’s look at the often overlooked nation of Albania, and see what kinds of “freedoms” that they enjoy.

Where it is located…

What it’s geography is like…

Physical map of Albania, shaded relief outside.
Here's a reprint of an article from UNZ, it's titled "The Freest and Most Open Country". It's written by  • April 28, 2021. All credit to the author, and please note that it was formatted to fit this venue.

The Freest and Most Open Country

People don’t have to pay extortionate taxes, or interest rates, to cater for their basic needs such as housing, farmland ownership, education or health. People earn little, but their relative purchasing power is higher and their lives certainly more secure and pleasant than ours in the West. 

-Iris
Girl walking past a billboard in Albania.

Is Albania, believe it or not, for here, you can walk around, sit inside cafes, bars or restaurants, worship at a packed church or mosque, and travel by crowded buses between cities, etc.

Though you’re supposed to wear a mask in public, most folks do so with their nose sticking out, because it’s hard to breathe otherwise, and unhealthy, too. That’s good enough for the easy-going cops.

All these people can enter Albania without a visa, vaccine passport or even a negative Covid test, and stay up to a year: European Union citizens, North Americans, most South and Central Americans, Turks, Kuwaitis, Israelis, Chinese, Taiwanese, Japanese, South Koreans, Malaysians, Singaporeans, Australians and New Zealanders, plus a few more.

After decades of Communist isolation, Albanians are happy to reclaim their Western heritage. A bookcase is painted on a downtown high-rise. Among the authors featured are Homer, Aeschylus, Cervantes, Dante, Shakespeare, Tolstoy, Dostoevsky, Chekov, Twains, Dickens, Balzac, Hugo, Flaubert, Kafka and the Brothers Grim. Albanian giants such as Kadare, Agolli, Fishta, Arapi and Poradeci are also honored. Unlike elsewhere, the Western canon is not assailed or canceled, but upheld and extolled.

Sidewalk book vendors are common, so Albanians are obviously reading, and not just junk either. I’ve seen volumes by Camus, Dostoevsky, Orwell and Hitler, etc. Albanian minds can still stay open.

Old man’s bar in Albania.

In an old man’s bar with plenty of character, there are five wine bottles with labels showing a portrait of Mussolini, JFK, Lenin, Hitler or Stalin. Sharing the same shelf are skull and penis shaped liquor containers, and a laughing buddha.

In a more Jew-screwed nation, this goofy display would undoubtedly trigger complaints, protests and maybe even a riot that burns up half the street, if not much of downtown. Luckily, I’m in Albania.

There’s a Frederic Chopin monument here. Born in Poland, Chopin spent nearly all of his adulthood in France, and had nothing to do with Albania. As an important cultural figure, however, and not just in the West, but globally, why shouldn’t Chopin be celebrated in Tirana?

Those who reject even the best of their heritage are lobotomizing themselves. Go for it!

In my building, I’m friendly with a man roughly my age. Introducing himself, he said, “Just remember me as the guy with the hat,” and sure enough, he always wears the same baseball cap.

Like many Albanians, he has emigrated, but returned after only a few years in Greece. Vaguely dreaming of America, he entered the immigration lottery, and actually won, but by then, he has changed his mind.

“I have a cousin in Illinois,” he said. “He told me Albania is better.”

“I agree,” I laughed.

“Really? I should tell people you said that.”

“In every American city, there are homeless people all over. If you go to San Francisco, for example, you’ll see homeless people all around City Hall, right in the center! Many of them have gone crazy. Many are on drugs. They shit in the streets!”

“Hmmm.”

“There are almost no homeless in Tirana.”

“We have family. We take care of each other.”

“There are beggars here, but not too many.”

“Most of them are Gypsies.”

“Is your cousin in Chicago?”

“I’m not sure. Maybe just Illinois. Every year, he comes to Albania and stays for six months. He wants to retire here.”

“Does he have children?”

“Three. Two boys, one girl. They are big.”

“Have they been back here?”

“No, they work, all the time. They have good jobs, but they can’t get married,” he chuckled.

Near us, there were half a dozen boys playing. Hearing English, they decided to join in, but their vocabulary was limited to just “hello!” and “hi!”

Walking down a side street, I heard “hello” repeatedly, but there was no one in front or behind me. Perplexed, I finally looked up to see two small boys inside a sixth-floor window. “Hello! Hello!” I returned their greetings, waves and smiles.

My North Macedonian friend, Alex, has a peculiar habit. As we wandered through the back streets of rarely visited towns like Veles and Shtip, little kids would sometimes get very excited to see me, so Alex had to answer their questions. When they asked Alex where he was from, however, he’d also say, “Америка!”

“Why did you say that?” I asked.

“It’s more exciting for them! If I told them I was North Macedonian, they’d think, Who cares? Now, they can go home and brag about seeing two Americans today!”

Inside a Chinese restaurant in Albania.

Though Albania is wide open, there are very few tourists here. In 2 ½ months, I’ve only seen eight Orientals on the streets, plus two Chinese cooks inside restaurants. I’ve chanced upon American English maybe ten times, but Italian just twice. Once, I ran into a group of Turks. I’ve never gone this long without seeing a single black.

It has been raining too much, but with more reliable sunshine, visitors will come. Ali, a taxi driver, certainly hopes so.

Impulsively one morning, I paid Ali $24 to take me to Durres, 24 miles away. It’s a pretty good deal, and Ali could surely use my business. Too often, I see him just standing around near the Swiss Embassy, his usual spot. This also gave us a chance to chatter.

Like the man with the hat, Ali has also gone abroad. He spent six years in Australia.

“Wow! How did you get a visa for that?”

“I paid,” meaning to the right people.

After sweating his ass off at various menial jobs, and saving almost nothing, Ali returned to Tirana, his hometown.

Here, Ali got a job driving trucks, then buses, before becoming a cabbie 15 years ago. Until the Covid mess, everything was going fine.

Ali also got married then, so his son is almost 14, and his daughter, 10. He showed me their photos.

“Nice kids! Are they good students?”

“No,” Ali laughed.

As his name indicates, Ali is Muslim, but only nominally.

“It’s Ramadan,” I noted, “but all the restaurants are busy. Nobody is fasting!”

“Some people are. My kids are fasting. I’m not.”

“They’re better Muslims than you are!”

Ali just shrugged.

After the collapse of Communism in 1991, thousands of Albanian boat people fled to Italy from Durres. This ugly, chaotic exodus lasted until the end of that decade.

Now, Durres is a very pleasant city with an elegant seaside promenade. Before Covid, ferries departed often for Bari, Ancona and even Trieste (where James Joyce spent nearly a decade). Soon, buses will resume their daily routes to Athens.

Normal family life in Albania with children on swing-sets, and normal shops in the background.

Basking in sea breeze-tempered sunshine, I watched parents pushing strollers, a stern boy bouncing a ball and three tots on swings. Busking, a beer bellied, middle-aged man tooted his clarinet. A stand briskly sold “Petulla te Gjyshi” [“Grandpa’s Fried Dough”].

As you’re tucked into your novel nightmare, Albanians have quite impressively exited theirs. How bad was it?

An escapee risked being shot or jailed for years, and if he manages to get out, a family member would be arrested instead. For trying to flee, poet Uran Kostreci was locked up for two decades.

Just getting into Albania was very difficult. Defining the border as “a checkpoint against foreign ideology,” Enver Hoxha declared that “The People’s Republic of Albania is closed to enemies, spies, hippie tourists and other vagabonds.”

First of, Albania was not a republic, much less a “people’s republic,” and there’s no ideology more foreign to Albania than Jewish Marxism, in any permutation. A fanatical us-against-them mindset is the Jewish core. A dictator, Hoxha ruled Albania for 40 years, until his death.

Of the hundreds of Hoxha statues that once dotted this poor land, only one remains that’s not damaged. A ten-foot bronze, it lies in the basement of the former museum in Labinot, a Communist stronghold.

In 1975, the Albanian government posted this guideline:

  1. The border authorities of the Ministry of Internal Affairs do not allow the entrance into the People’s Republic of Albania of all those foreigners who, with their appearance go against the norms of the socialist aesthetics, such as men with long hair like women, with exaggerated sideburns, with irregular beards and with inappropriate clothing, and women with mini and maxi skirts.
  2. Persons with extravagant clothing and irregular appearance […] may enter into the People’s Republic of Albania only if they choose to be adjusted (to cut their hair, to dress normally) […]

To facilitate such adjustments, a barbershop and a store with socialist-approved clothing were available at Albanian borders.

Even eight years ago, Albania was still a wreck, apparently, at least according to an unsolicited account I just received.

Reading about me being sick in Tirana, a reader emailed to say that he had come here in 2013, to be somewhere “as ugly as [he] felt”!

An American living in France, he had spent a year in “herpes hell,” which he had gotten from “an attractive empty vessel who worked in the Paris fashion scene.”

Bald, loveless, with “a ruined penis” and nearly broke, he thought about killing himself, then “had a better idea”:

I would identify the most miserable country on Earth and I would go there. Anything but suicide. I wanted to be somewhere as ugly as I felt. I wanted to see bleak, closed, hard faces. I wanted to see mute wifebeaters and battered women caked in whore makeup. So I went to Albania. I wandered around Tirana with sores on my dick for a few days, considering suicide. One day I found this weird field next to the train station, just a big garbage-strewn negative space at the heart of the city. There were fetid ponds, plastic bags everywhere, and little paths through the half-dead grass. An old Balkan crone squatted next to one of the paths with a few carrots and onions spread out on a scarf in front of her. Men in tracksuits with brutal pimp faces came and went. I went to the center of the field, squatted down, and dug through the trash a little. I found a broken teacup, an old domino, and a playing card. It was Christmas Day. I felt like I was at the negative center of the universe. Here I was, at ground zero of our ruined Jew world with pus coming out of sores on my dick surrounded by the most ugly and corrupted goyim on Earth, the despised and despicable Albanian race. 

That’s some beautiful writing about an ugly situation. Today’s Tirana, though, is nothing like that.

Albanian kiosk.

Though many of the buildings are drab, each Tirana street is lively with cafes, bars, restaurants and shops, and the people are very pleasant, mellow and lovely.

Most are slim and not misshapen. Children are well behaved and not agitated. Young men don’t sneer or bluster. Many women are confidently beautiful. The old are dignified.

Though Albania is one of Europe’s poorest countries, with an extremely high emigration rate, its social fabric is more intact than in more advanced nations. Its great men are justly revered. It’s also freer and more open, and as safe as any, with no mugging or riot around any corner.

Unlike in Philadelphia, I don’t wake up each morning to news of another murder or two. There were 499 in the City of Brotherly Love in 2020!

The United States will never catch up to Albania.

This is most interesting. Albania always seemed like a pit of drabness, repression, and despair during the Cold War. Not that I actually read anything about it, of course. Now here it is quite relaxed about life while the US slips ever deeper into unreason, minority hatred of whites, wars that are beyond stupid, open borders, multicultural delusion, corrupt courts, a lunatic legislature, contemptible corporate whores, a rotten FBI, a worthless press, malevolent central bank, Jewish control, feminist malevolence, and leftist thuggery. Did I leave anything out? 

-Ace

Conclusion

It is difficult for Americans to understand, and grasp this fact, but most of the world outside the United States is MUCH freer.

This is a fair and philosophical point, which contains a much large-ranging truth:

– Traditional societies favour the collective and protect the weakest among them but at the expense of some of the individuals’ freedoms. This is why there are less junkies and homeless in the streets of poorer countries, as they remain within the family fold, but individuals sometimes feel suffocated by social pressure.

– Modern Western societies, especially with the ascent of Anglo-Saxon “liberal” values, purport to favour the individual and individual freedoms. This should normally give great opportunities to the brightest and smartest to achieve and accomplish their professional and economic potential, at the expense of the less gifted who are let down. This is how it was supposed to work anyway, and maybe it did work like that up to the 80’s or 90’s.

But since globalisation took off, the individualist dream hyped in the West has remained just a dream. No matter how hard one works, it is obvious that the middle classes are disappearing to the benefit of an ever-more powerful plutocracy.

So Western working people are actually only getting the anxiety and precarity, without the economic security, the worst of two worlds. I can very well understand why the Albanians described by Mr Dinh have returned to Albania after initially emigrating to the West.

-Iris

Americans have 24-7 narratives about “American Exceptionalism” rammed into their mushy brains for decades. So much so that they believe it. And then, coupled with the non-stop fear-mongering about the rest of the world being a very dark and gloomy place, it’s  no wonder that Americans hide inside their homes and huddle in front of the flickering blue monitors for their entertainment.

Freedom is not a nice road, a fancy mall, a impressive government building, or being able to own guns. It’s nothing of the sort.

A large proportion of Americans today, think freedom is the right shop at Walmart, eat at Burger King and to get a quick Covid shot. How things have changed 

-Joe Paluka

Freedom is the ability to live your life, as you see fit, without interference by anyone for any reason.

Freedom

  • Never having to report any income, or financial information to the government.
  • Never having to ask your government for permission to do something.
  • Being allowed to eat, smoke, ingest anything your want to your own body.
  • Never worrying about the police.
  • Being able to redress your grievances with the government locally and get results in a timely manner.

Not Freedom

  • Asking permission to buy bullets, and then once granted, having to pay taxes on them, and enter onto a watch list.
  • Being forced to buy something simply because you are a citizen.
  • Having your ability to leave the nation prevented and subject to a tax audit.
  • Your taxes are used for other things that do not directly impact your quality of life.

When I say that my life in China is far freer than what it was in the United States, it’s not hyperbole. It’s truth. It’s on a very personal, and direct, visceral level.

And I have experiences that back this up. So it’s non-debatable.

People, if you are miserable with your life…

…instead of blaming yourselves, maybe you need to start looking at where you are living and what you put up with. Most Americans will discover an exceptional amount of personal freedom the moment they step outside the monstrous United States Military Empire.

And that’s a fact Jack.

The best case in point would be in New York City. 

Take the NYPD’s stop and frisk policy, for instance. Aside from the fact that the policy has proven to be vehemently racist, what kind of free society allows their police officers to search people without just cause?

Imagine casually walking home from work only to have a police officer stop you, ask for ID, question you and frisk you. All you’re guilty of is walking home. How is this any different than the Gestapo asking you to see your papers?

-The rise of the American Police State

You all won’t see that anywhere else in the world.

Only in America.

America is more and more like a contagious disease. It would be fine if the US contained their toxic culture and influence to their own border and left the rest of the world alone. But no… They want to make the whole world like them. Enough. 

-Dumbo

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An introduction to Thailand by an occasional traveler, and a lover of great food, pretty girls and sunshine

Here, in this post, I am going to discuss the wonderful land of smiles; Thailand. It is an enchanting country. It is filled with happy, easy going people, cheap prices, lots of open fresh air, seas of beauty, mountains and hills, and lots and lots of great delicious food. I haven’t written about this place at all because the vast bulk of my time is spent within China. But this is a great place, as is the rest of South East Asia, and I have a few things to say about it.

Read this post. Then re-read this sentence. As far as a man is concerned, Thailand is really the land of the free.

“The Thais are proud to say their country has never been colonized and delighted to explain that translated in to English, Thailand means "land of the free". 

Many Thais genuinely believe their country is free and that regular citizens are afforded a level of freedom that doesn't exist outside the Kingdom's borders.

Given the way certain parts of Thailand's history are explained in the local education system, it's no surprise. 

But the way that some foreigners resident in Thailand also feel more free in Thailand than they do in Farangland (Oh, “farang”, or for those of you who hate that word, Caucasian) floors me.”

- Thailand, Land of the Free

One of the places that I would live at, from time to time, was Thailand. It’s a truly amazing place, with beautiful beaches, excellent delicious food, warm welcoming climate, a decent infrastructure, and hordes of sexy willing women. What’s not to like?

“hhahahhha  Pattaya! 

I ran into a few FAT and outraged American "chang nams"...

chang(elephant) 
nam(water)

...chang nam is a hippo and polite word for American (women) wildebeast that seem to stray into Pattaya now and again. (The great white water buffalo.)

There were three American chang nams that ganged up on me, asking me all sorts of "triggered questions.

"When their mouths stopped flapping, I ran my fingers across my lips, then launched into international sign language dialogue. 

One of the girls said ".....oh shit, he's deaf---and THEY APOLOGIZED."

My sign language is very good and I suggest all ZHers to at least learn a few phrases correctly in dealing with hostile, bat-shit crazy American women and their failed NGOs in Thailand and Cambodia. 

These American goody-two-shoes are the ones that demonize sex and then run around to the back room to boom Somchai.

PS...To call someone "Somchai" in Tai and Kampuchea, really you are saying "John Doe." "Somchai" is better than saying "....where's Woody?"

- buttmint (reply to) MaxThrust Aug 12, 2017 10:57 AM

I have visited Thailand with my Chinese wife numerous times.  We have stayed at everything from fancy hotels to cute residential home-stays. We have frequented the bars and clubs and sampled the night life there, we have even had an adventure where a taxi driver drove us out into the middle of the jungle and left us there to rot at 4:30 am! 

Thailand, since it is so close to China, is my 2nd home.

It’s a very cheap (from China) two hour flight and BOOM!, I am in a land where all the girls call me a “Handsome Man”.

"Hey! Handsome Man!"

Though, I have never sampled the female fun there, it’s enough to know that I could if I wanted to.

Personally, I find the girls there a little chubbier and shorter than my tastes allow.  (You can see for yourself in the pictures and videos herein.) However, that’s just me.

My ideal woman is a curvy and robust Chinese gal, with a handsome face, and a smile that last forever. Long black hair is an extra five points. Brown eyes improves the look another five points, and having an oval face tacks on another ten points.

(The taller “girls” tend to be ladyboys… yikes!)

In any event, Thailand is a beautiful place with cheap prices, delicious food, and nature everywhere.  It is paradise.

People come to visit and LIVE in Thailand for all sorts of reasons;

“There isn't one kind of person that comes to Thailand there are many. 

There's the sex starved older English gent that finds paradise in the Neon lights of Pattaya to the American couple who have figured out that they don't want to live there lives drowned in debt only to realize they've missed out on Living their lives. 

You'll find a lot of grumpy old men who are single and spend their time Farang bashing on Thai Visa and younger guys who party to the break of dawn every night. 

The English teacher who's looking for "world experience" I'm sure you've met all sorts of people in Thailand.”

-From here; http://www.livingthai.org/why-choose-to-live-in-thailand.html

And, for guys, often the reason is for sex…

“The problem with sex is that it’s a natural male instinct to fuck everything that moves, not just the hottest, but anything attractive – you’ll never stop looking, but you might stop chasing. God help you if you’re very good looking, getting ‘opportunities’ thrown at you wherever you live. You may never escape this vice – and it will cost you big time.”

-BobbyT

Thailand is a different place for certain. Different is Good.

“Frustrated foreign residents are known to have the odd rant about life in Thailand at times, but sometimes we need to take a look at the big picture and consider that things are not as bad as they may seem. 

A mate who gets around Bangkok by motorbike tells me that whenever he parks his motorbike, he leaves his helmet resting on the handlebars, attached by a simple clip. This is something he would never do in his native Belgium for it would likely not be there when he returned but in 10 years of riding in Bangkok no-one has ever taken his helmet. 

Still, I have never seen his helmet and maybe the shocking pink color and the slogan I love ladyboys in Thai on the front has something to do with it?”

-Stickman

Pattaya

“Never in my life did I imagine I would ever turn down a girlfriend of mine for sex until I got to Thailand; 

...there’s just only so much I can handle. 

American women (and I’m sure British and Australian women are very similar) use sex more as a tool in a relationship, and they’re usually willing to sacrifice the enjoyment from sex just to prove a point. 

I don’t find this too often in Thailand and that’s a beautiful thing.”

-LivingThai

I’ve been to Pattaya numerous times.

A famous Pattaya themed T-shirt, sold at many of the vendor’s stalls about town, sums up the divergent opinions about the place. “Good guys go to heaven, bad guys go to Pattaya”.

I can’t say the beach is all that great.  But it has (had) an amazing street devoted to bars and night life.  Both my wife and I felt like we had died and gone to heaven.

The first time we went there, we separated from the group (that we had been with) and went solo exploring this amazing area. Of course, you have the go-go girls, and the bar girls and all of that. However, what really struck me was the presence of old fat western guys who had plopped themselves down at a bar and who were nursing a beer.

What?

You call that fun and exciting?

We bar hopped each and every time we visited that town. 

First Impressions

My first experience was awesome. I must tell the reader that when you go into these bars, you will see (easily) 20 to 30 totally nude gals standing and dancing slowly in super high heels.

That has since changed, and as of 2016 they all seem to be wearing some kind of attire.

With a short old 70-year old grandmother walking around them with a meter long switch telling them to arch their backs, etc. The girls seemed fine.  (They were) all thin and in their 20’s. A patron might come in and pick a girl and pay the girl and get a blow-job on the spot.  (I’ve seen it done numerous times.)

You can even take the girls upstairs for a short-time (this is known as a “short time girl”). However, to be honest, you see 30 girls without a lick of clothing on it’s not really arousing.

Since then, the local government placed laws requiring the gals to wear clothing. I have mixed feelings about it.

It’s just a bunch of nude girls.

Old fat men (Bogan) nursing beers in Pattaya bar street.

Pattaya is known (outside of Thailand) for one place. 

Sex.

I think I can safely say that Patong Beach is now Bogan central for Thailand. 

A Bogan is a bit of a derogatory term for a person who hails from the western suburbs of Sydney, West Auckland or the working class areas of Melbourne. 

In Thailand they are normally identified as blokes, or sheilas, with minimal attire – a beer brand singlet, billabong shorts and flip flops – and whose main priorities in life are knocking back copious amounts of beer and watching their preferred style of footy. 

Take a stroll down Soi Bangla in the early evening and the sports bars lining each side of the street will be packed with Bogans getting their fixes of beer and footy. 

The thing is, though, if you hang around the place for long enough you’ll soon pick up on the idea there are Bogans from all over the world cruising the streets and crowding the shopping malls of Patong. 

Aside from your bog standard Aussie and Kiwi Bogans, there are also English, Russian, German, Scandinavian, Indian and even Thai Bogans to be seen.

That being said, let me be the first to point out that the Pattaya Police Chief say’s that there is no such thing as prostitution in Pattaya.  Apparently it doesn’t exist.

And it is true that sex can be obtained.

However, it is not as common and rampant as the British tabloids make it out to be. There’s only a precious few areas that you can get your “fix” for secual excitement. The rest of Pattaya is like the rest of Thailand, very conservative and very religious.

Pattaya City officials, local police units and administrative units of Chon Buri held a press conference on the new policy; Pattaya Happy Zone, which has been immediately implemented with the main purpose of keeping popular areas of Pattaya under control and crime-free. 

The Happy Zone is being enforced in the infamous Walking Street in order to control all illegal activities to make sure that the holiday experience in Pattaya is hassle-free for everyone.

Pol Col Apichai Krobpetch, the Pattaya police superintendent, told the magazine “Spectrum” that Pattaya is not a hub for the sex trade.

He was upset about the British media’s stories, insisting they were fabricated.British newspapers The Sun, Mirror and the Daily Star recently ran articles describing Pattaya as “the world’s sex capital” and as a “modern-day Sodom and Gomorrah”, sparking anger among government officials, especially PM Prayut, who vowed to crack down on illegal businesses and prostitution in Pattaya, viewing them as a major embarrassment for Thailand.

Offshore Bar – Pattaya, Thailand.

http://www.chiangraitimes.com/pattaya-police-chief-says-there-is-no-such-thing-as-prostitution-in-pattaya.html

“There is no such thing as prostitution in Pattaya,” says Col Apichai. “Where did they get the figure of 27,000 sex workers in Pattaya? Anyone can make up this information.

Ah.

But sex and booze. Well, that’s something that I happen to enjoy.

And I am not afraid to admit it. Many a fine night has been spent with a female companion drinking wine, singing and dancing, and chatting and eating delicious food, and then having some great sex. It’s a wonderful way to pass the time, make new friends, and just relax.

Which brings me to the most awesome bar street. 

(Drinking booze, rock music and sex everywhere.) When I went there with my wife, we were just floored over by the sheer size and awesomeness of it.  It put New Orleans French Quarter to shame.  It is amazing and awesome at the same time.

We first visited Pattaya during a Chinese organized tour for tasting all the food of Thailand. 

The reader should realize that I am (what is called) “a foodie”.

A foodie is someone who has a deep interest in food. In addition to being interested in food itself, foodies are also interested in the back story: the history, production, science, and industry of food. As a general rule, foodies are amateurs, rather than professionals working in some aspect of the food industry, and many of them are self-taught.

-What is a Foodie?

We were not disappointed.

After one of the many, many dinners we were taken to the “bar street” for a look around.  The tour guide would not let us go alone, so we had to sign a “safety waiver” and off we went.  We’ve been in love with the place ever since.

It is not like what is portrayed in the American movie “Hangover II”, that is unless you are a drinker. Never the less it is an awesome place.  I actually prefer it over New Orleans “French Quarter”, Reno, Los Vegas, Macao, and some of the more “interesting” places that I have explored.

Both myself and my wife think of it as an awesome place.

First meal I had in Pattaya was fresh crab and shellfish.

The servings are huge and the prices were cheaper than in China. This I’m super surprised about even looking at the western meals around Pattaya are much cheaper than China also. Must be something to do with the amount of competition here. One thing that is first noticeable about the food in Pattaya is it tastes way better than what you get in China. I don’t really know why. This is probably because it’s either Isaan food and central food and I’m in the right place for that.

Since I’m a big foody I fell in love with the place immediately. (Not to mention all the pretty girls calling me a “handsome man”!)

A fine Thai curry chicken dish.

Pattaya is a very small place, well it’s not exactly small but the truth is that really, it’s just not that big. Pattaya is more concentrated making it easier to get around. This is especially true in the center of all “the action”.

Traffic isn’t as bad as people say though there are way more of those little mini-bicycle-car-like things (hoons) here which is expected.

Most of the hoons are either motorbike taxis or tourists joyriding. I hate driving in Thailand but it’s a must if you want to cover more ground quickly and save money and hassles getting taxis.

A lot of people walk in Pattaya compared to Bangkok. Bangkok is a city. Pattaya is a small coastal town.

If you’re a first time visitor to Pattaya then get ready for a surprise. This is like nothing you’ll have ever experienced before. This has to be one of the greatest concentrations of night time venues anywhere in the world.

The famous walking street is the epicenter of the Pattaya’s party scene, stretching from Bali Hai pier in the south to beach road at the north. This neon lit street is closed to traffic from around 6pm until the early morning. This mile long strip of pure hedonism is a mecca for party goers from all over the world. Lined with a mix of Go Go bars, drinking bars, restaurants, world class nightclubs and live music venues anyone who visits Pattaya has to experience this party wonderland.

(Don’t be afraid of entering any of the bars, clubs or go go’s you won’t get bitten (unless you want). The workers are all super friendly and the bad old days of getting ripped off are long gone. So be brave, and go on in.)

Metallicman in a Northern Bangkok 7-11 during the “Water Festival” (Songkran). That white stuff on my face is some kind of talc mixed with water that they put on you after they soak you with water. I don’t understand it, but I’ll bet it has an interesting story behind it.

Water Festival

The reader can just simply forget about staying dry during the water festival.  Little children, and not so little adults man each and every corner with plastic water guns, water machine guns, and water bazookas. The wife ended up staying in the room for three days afraid to go out and get soaked.

The Water Festival is the New Year’s celebrations that take place in east and South-east Asian countries such as China, Cambodia, Laos, Myanmar Taiwan and Thailand.

It is called the ‘Water Festival’ by Westerners because they notice people splashing or pouring water at one another as part of the cleansing ritual to welcome the New Year. Traditionally people gently sprinkled water on one another as a sign of respect, but as the new year falls during the hottest month in South East Asia, many people end up dousing strangers and passersby in vehicles in boisterous celebration.

The act of pouring water is also a show of blessings and good wishes. It is believed that on this Water Festival, everything old must be thrown away, or it will bring the owner bad luck.

Here’s what another expat has to say about this festival;

“Songkran in Pattaya is celebrated for 7 days from the 13th until 19th April. It's difficult to avoid getting wet.

No food carts or girls ordering food get attacked with high-powered water guns and buckets as the Thais respect food. The Thais also consider people walking the sois with their luggage on the way to check-in to hotels.

Even long after the sun has set, the Thais still playing with water don't target people who are dry and heading out for dinner.

You know where I'm going with this… 

Of course, some young Thais on bikes riding the sois and drinking too much end up having fights. From my week-long Songkran experience here, having played with water and sat and observed, it's the dickhead Farangs with high-powered water guns hitting people in the face, attacking people with food, people going out dressed for a night out etc.

Even drunk bargirls manage to recognise and respect people who want to avoid water later in the evening. While writing this email in a dry area on sois 7 with 45 baht beers, I have witnessed 2 altercations between Westerners with high-powered guns attacking people who are dry. Only 28 more hours left of this craziness then off to track Everest. I'm confident Everest will be less to endure.“

-https://www.stickmanbangkok.com/weekly-column/2016/04/sensational-soda/

Going for a visit

It’s not just about the sleazy side of Pattaya and thousands of people a night descend here to watch some great live music acts, eat fresh seafood over the water or watch one of the numerous street performers. Even organized tours of Chinese and Korean tourists regularly wander up and down the street to soak up the atmosphere. The smaller alleys are called “Soi”. Check out the map below.

As a man, I have to admit that Thailand has so much going for it.

The cost of living is very cheap.  In fact, it is even cheaper than China.  If you have enough money saved away (stashed from the clutches of your first or second wives) you can live quite comfortably. Further, it is beautiful. The weather is NOT SNOWY. The food is awesome, though you might need to learn the language or use a cute girl to translate to order.  The beaches, mountains, and history are amazing…And, the girls… the girls are all cute, beautiful and AVAILABLE. What’s not to love?

Pattaya bar street map. All credit to the amazing Mike Baird.

Hotels in Pattaya.

Here’s just some informationt that I collected from my files. As Asia, both China and Thailand is in a constant state of flux, probably the best thing that you can do is chat with a local and get the best deals for your particular situation. Never the less, you can consider this guide as a helpful venue to get you started.

More information can be found here;

Wave Hotel Pattaya

The wave hotel is by far the best combination of luxury, value, and location in Pattaya; this is where the smart ballers stay. The price is around 160 dollars a night, but when you see this place, you will feel like it is a bargain. The rooms are high class, and the location can’t be beat. They offer a nice sized pool and garden area, along with a par. They also have free wifi access. The staff here will treat you like royalty.

Hilton Hotel Pattaya

Located dead center of Walking street and on the beach… What more can you expect from the Hilton? They offer an amazing infinity pool and pool side bar “Shore Bar”, which offers stunning views. They also have many rooftop restaurants with incredible views as well. This is a great getaway no matter what kind of vacation you are having in Pattaya. Don’t forget, Central Pattaya Beach is located downstairs!

Dusit D2 Baraquda Pattaya Hotel

Dusit D2 Baraquda Pattaya Hotel is a little different from the first two 5 star hotels offered here, Dusit D2 Baraqude offers a nice fusion between Thai and Western architecture so you will get a little culture, it is also suited in an excellent location right on walking street and offers amazing views of the surrounding area and ocean.

Pattaya Marriott Resort and Spa

The Marriott name speaks for itself, especially here in Pattaya. The Marriott is one of only a few five star hotels located in Pattaya and it shines here as one of the best hotels. It offers an amazing swimming pool and outdoor lounge, fine dining inside, in an excellent location, and high-speed internet access in every room. The gardens here are also amazing. They also offer a breakfast buffet every morning for all guests until 10:30am… If you are not too hung over!!

Intimate Hotel by Tim Boutique Hotel

Intimate Hotel by Tim Boutique Hotel is easily my choice for a medium budget traveler. It offers free wifi, stunning views across the city, Jacuzzi tubs in some rooms, a great rooftop bar/restaurant. It also provides a small, but nice fitness center and a decent international buffet. From here, you are within walking distance to Pattaya Beach, and also some of the shopping malls in the city such as Central Festival Beach and Royal Garden Plaza.

The Scenery City Hotel

Traveling on a budget? The Scenery City Hotel is my favorite budget hotel in Pattaya. They offer very nice clean rooms with a balcony for under 1000 baht per night. Free wifi is offered in public areas (some rooms can grab access from the public areas if within reach). Located right in the center of Pattaya, the location can’t be beat. The rooms are extremely clean and held to a very high standard, the staff is also very friendly and informative. Basically, everything is within walking distance of here, including the beaches.

Areca Lodge Hotel

Another one of my favorite hotels in Pattaya on Walking Street is the Areca Lodge Hotel. This is one of the most popular hotels in Pattaya with good reason. The prices are borderline cheap/medium so it fits most people’s budgets. They offer free in room wifi, and the rooms are extremely clean. Areca offers two large pools with Jacuzzis and other amenities including a fitness center, sauna and on-site eateries, also all rooms have balconies.

Hard Rock Hotel

The Hard Rock Hotel name speaks for itself, not much explaining needed here. Geared for the active crowd who would rather have a fun time with activities rather than a quiet time. The rooms are all modern, hip, and cool with purple styling. Every room offers a sea view or city view, depending which side of the building you’re on. The pool is one of the best in Pattaya and they offer lots of activities in the pool/garden area. It also offers many restaurants, bars and lounges including the world’s popular signature Hard Rock Café.

Sooi-Tee Guest House

For those of you on a super budget, I highly recommend the Sooi-Tee Guest House. Rooms start around 500 or 600 baht a night and all offer free wifi. The location is perfect and each room has AirCon, which you won’t find in a lot of guest houses in this price range. The rooms are clean and offer a baloney. Staying at a place like this is is good because you get that nice homey feel and special attention from the staff.

View Talay 6 Pattaya Beach Condominium

View Talay 6 Pattaya Beach Condominium by Honey is one of the best medium priced hotels in Pattaya and also one of the most popular. Located on the beach, it offers great views of the ocean and city. There is a nice pool with a pool side bar and massage service on site. The location couldn’t be beat if you want to be on the beach AND close to Walking Street. This hotel also offers free wifi.

Bars and Nightclubs

There are many great nightclubs on the Pattaya walking street. Each has its own vibe and feel and most will be open until the sun comes up.

The clubs are extremely popular and are generally very busy every night of the week. Most don’t get going until after midnight. The clubs are a favorite of both younger tourist and locals. Here are some links to all the bars. (Up to date when I was last there, back in 2017.)

“Walking street really is one of a kind. Little could I have known, that all I had to do was jump on a plane and instantly be transformed into a ‘handsome man’ . It’s a blast. The vegas of the east. Minus gambling.”

-学习如何水肺潜水 JANUARY 5, 2017 AT 7:01 AM

Girls of the Toy Box.
69ers Beer Bar
Facebook Seite
Soi 7, Central Pattaya (umgezogen von der Soi 8)
A
Apple BarSoi Chaiyapruek, Jomtien Beach
Armageddon BarSoi LK Metro, um die Ecke von der Soi Buakhao
Atlantic BarPattaya Second Road
Aussie BarSoi 7, Central Pattaya
B
Barracuda Bar
Facebook Seite
Naklua Road, Nord-Pattaya
Billabong Bar & HotelSoi LK Metro, Central Pattaya
Booze Lounge
Facebook Seite
Soi Khao Talo, Ost-Pattaya (ca. 1,5 Kilometer hinter der Sukhumvit Road)
Borussia Park
Facebook Seite
Deutsches Gästehaus und Bar, Naklua Road
Brass Monkey BarSoi Nern Plub Wan, Soi 26, Ost-Pattaya
Buffalo Bar
Facebook Seite
Pattaya Third Road, Central Pattaya
Butcher’s Arms PubEnglischer Pub & Gästehaus, Soi Buakhao
C
Caddyshack
Facebook Seite
Pub & Gästehaus, Pattaya Third Road, Soi 17
Camel ToeGentleman Club, Soi Korpai 10
Candy LocaRompho Barkomplex, Jomtien Second Road
The Castle Fetish Club
Facebook Seite
Pattaya Third Road, Central Pattaya (neben der Buffalo Bar)
Champions Sports BarRompho Barkomplex, Jomtien Second Road
D
Devil’s Den
Facebook Seite
Soi LK Metro, Central Pattaya (vormalig Hell’s Club)
E
Easy R-Con Bar
Facebook Seite
Soi Buakhao, Central Pattaya
F
FLB BarWalking Street, Süd-Pattaya
G
The Golf ClubSports Bar, Soi LK Metro, Central Pattaya
Gulliver’s TavernPattaya Beach Road, Nord-Pattaya; Walking Street
I
I-Rovers Sports Bar
Facebook Seite
Bar, Restaurant & Gästehaus, Soi LK Metro, Central Pattaya
J
Jameson’s Irish PubSoi Sukrudee (Soi A.R.), Central Pattaya
Joy’s Paradise
Facebook Seite
Deutsche Bar und Gästehaus, Soi Welcome Jomtien
K
Kåres Party BarPattaya Second Road
Kawaii BarSoi 6 (Soi Yodsak), Central Pattaya
Kiss Kool BarSoi 6 (Soi Yodsak), Central Pattaya
KitCat Club Lounge410/8-10 Thappraya Road, Dongtan Beach, Jomtien
L
La La Land BarSoi 6 (Soi Yodsak), Central Pattaya
Legends Pool & Sports Bar
Facebook page
Pattaya Klang Soi 5, Central Pattaya
Lord Nelson Sports Bar
Facebook Seite
Pub, Restaurant & Gästehaus, Soi 6 (Soi Yodsak)
Lucky Love BarSoi 6 (Soi Yodsak), Central Pattaya
M
Mai Lu Si BarSoi Buakhao, gegenüber vom Pattaya City Hospital
Maxies BarSoi 16, Walking Street, Süd-Pattaya
M Club
Facebook Seite
Gentleman Club, Pattaya Third Road, Soi 14
Medusa Bar & RestaurantDeutsches Restaurant und Short Time Bar auf der Soi Wat Boon am Jomtien
Metro Bar & ApartmentsSoi LK Metro, Central Pattaya
Moonshine PlaceAmerikanische Bar and Gästehaus, Jomtien Soi 4
Murphy’s Law PubSoi LK Metro, Central Pattaya
N
Night Wish BarSoi 6 (Soi Yodsak), Central Pattaya
Nong Beer BarSoi Diana
O
O Bar
Facebook Seite
Soi 6 (Soi Yodsak), Central Pattaya
One BarDeutsche Bar, Soi Night Out, Central Pattaya Road
P
Passion Gentleman’s ClubThappraya Road (Hanuman Statue), Jomtien
Pattaya Beer GardenPattaya Beach Road (Eingang zur Walking Street)
The Pig & Whistle Pub
Facebook Seite
Soi 7, Central Pattaya
PJ DJ Bar & Guesthouse
Facebook Seite
Soi 7, Central Pattaya (vormalig Anna Jet Bar)
The Pussy ClubSoi 6 (Soi Yodsak), Central Pattaya
Q
Queen Victoria Inn
Facebook Seite
Englischer Pub, Restaurant & Hotel, Soi 6
Quickie BarSoi 6 (Soi Yodsak), Central Pattaya
R
Retox Sports Bar
Facebook Seite
Soi Lengkee, zwischen Pattaya Third Road und Soi Buakhao
Retox Game On
Facebook Seite
Soi Honey, um die Ecke von der Pattaya Second Road
The Rock House
Facebook Seite
Bar & Gästehaus, Soi LK Metro
Ruby ClubSoi 6 (Soi Yodsak), Central Pattaya
Rum Dum BarRompho Barkomplex, Jomtien Second Road
Ryan’s BarNaklua Road, Nord-Pattaya (vor der Soi Wongamat)
S
Saigon Girl BarSoi 6 (Soi Yodsak), Central Pattaya
Sailor InnNorwegisches Restaurant & Gästehaus, Soi 13/2
Scandinavia Bar & RestaurantPattaya Beach Road, zwischen Soi 13 und Soi Yamato
Scandinavia Beach ClubPattaya Beach Road, zwischen Soi 5 and Soi 6
Scooters BarSoi Buakhao, Central Pattaya
Secrets Bar & Nightclub
Facebook Seite
Soi 14, Walking Street, Süd-Pattaya
Sexy In The CitySoi 6 (Soi Yodsak), Central Pattaya
Shooters Coyote Bar
Facebook Seite
Coyote Bar & Gästehaus, Soi 7, Central Pattaya
Siam CatsDeutsche Bar and Gästehaus, Jomtien Soi 5
Simple SimonEnglisches Restaurant & Bar, Jomtien Soi 5
Smurf BarDeutsche Bar, Soi Buakhao (Nähe Pattaya Klang)
The Sportsman Pub
Facebook Seite
Pattaya Soi 13
T
Telephone BarSoi Batman, Süd-Pattaya
Tim Bar BeerBar und A-GoGo, Pattaya Second Road, Süd-Pattaya
V
Valentines Bar
Facebook Seite
Soi Lengkee, zwischen Pattaya Third Road und Soi Buakhao
Viper Bar
Facebook Seite
Coyote Bar, Pratamnak Road Soi 4 (gegenüber vom Asia Hotel)
W
WhyNot BarDeutsche Aircon-Bar, 179/86 Naklua Road
Wombat BarBar, Restaurant & Gästehaus, Jomtien Beach Road

Some fun Links;

I would say that the number one advantage of visiting or living in Pattaya, is the “walking street” and the things that you can purchase there. As a man, I can see distinct advantages in living there.

“Last night we were in Gulliver's and one sight made me chuckle.

A large group of Brits walked in and took up about three tables. The women were obese but their boyfriends (how the hell did they get guys) were trim. 

The group was approached by four waitresses and two beer promotion girls. 

The waitresses were pretty with slim figures and you can guess how good the promotion girls looked. 

Needless to say the guys were enthralled by the display and had trouble ordering, much to the displeasure of the blobs sat around them.

I bet there were a few arguments back in the hotel rooms later. 

Welcome to Thailand, boys! I bet they are currently praying for their girlfriends to get food poisoning so they can go out unhindered and get some ‘cultural experiences’.”

- Praying for food poisoning!

Buying a Car in Thailand

Yes, the initial purchase of a car in Thailand will probably cost more than it would in the United States. A small-engined Japanese sedan such as a Toyota Corolla or Honda Civic runs from 800,000 baht up to 1,000,000 plus for a fully loaded, top model.  This is much more than you would pay in most Western countries. European or luxury cars can cost as much as 3 times what the exact same model would cost in the West.

Used Cars

The initial purchase price of a new (or second hand) car will also be greater than the West, but that is where the idea of car ownership in Thailand being expensive ends.

The good news is that cars devalue at a much, much slower rate in Thailand than they do elsewhere.  Indeed, Hondas and Toyotas will command a high resale price due to their perceived reliability.  You can pretty much expect vehicles from either of these manufacturers to devalue at not much more than 10% per year. A Honda Civic in good condition and with reasonable mileage that cost 800,000 in 2003 would go for around 400,000 baht now. A two-year old Toyota Vios that has travelled 30,000 km may sell for only 100,000 baht less than the exact same car brand new. If resale value is a concern choose carefully as not all cars from certain manufacturers maintain a great resale value.

Take note. European manufactured vehicles depreciate in value at a frightening high rate.

Pickup Trucks

If the price of a new car is beyond your budget, consider a pickup truck. Pickup trucks are subject to a different tax rate than sedans and as such are much cheaper. You can get a new pickup for as little as 500,000 baht or a fully featured model with a luxurious interior that gives it the feel of a well-speced sedan for around 700,000 baht. Pickup trucks sell very well in Thailand because they represent good value.

Other Costs

The cost of gasoline in Thailand is fairly low. Granted that it is a little bit more expensive than North America and about the same price as you would pay in Australia, but it is however much, much cheaper than what you’d pay in Europe.

Insurance is cheap and policies don’t seem to have an excess so if you have an accident you pay nothing (unless of course the police demands a donation!)

The cost of getting a vehicle serviced in Thailand is ridiculously low. For a small to medium sized Japanese vehicle you’re looking at around 1,000 baht per service at the franchised dealer. No, not a corner garage but a franchised dealer where they use the right oil, genuine parts and the workshop is so clean you could just about eat your rice off the floor.

Not that one should break the traffic laws, but fines for traffic infringements are ridiculously low. If you are miraculously issued with an official ticket, the odds are it will be in the range of 400 – 800 baht. Usually it won’t even cost that much however as the friendly police will invariably offer you a pay now discount.

Conclusion

This is just my introduction to Thailand, and as you might have guessed, I have a lot to say. So expect many more posts.

One of the things that I like about the world is how different other places are. As an American, I was programmed into believing that the “American way of life” was the best; that it was superior to all other forms of governance, and that so many people want to come to America to experience it.

Well, it’s not. Not by a long shot, and when you leave the “Exceptional American Experience” you realize just how much of your life that you have wasted pursuing that “American Dream”.

More to follow.

In the mean time appreciate what you have, and if you don’t have what you need to be happy, open up your horizons and go for it.

Nothing will put a smile on your face quicker than a “romp in the hay” with a beautiful and pretty girl after a day of quaffing beer and eating delicious food.

You can have some wonderful massages in Thailand.

Do you want more?

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