After reading my post on "Snapshots of life in China. Surprise! It doesn't look anything like Alex Jones says it is.", Ohio Guy commented that he is falling in love with China, but he is trapped in that God-forsaken mess known as the United States. Well, that response got me to thinking. People who have gone to other nations, and who have seen how other nations do things, they have pretty much concluded that the "Exceptional America - the Land of the Free" is all pretty much FUCKED UP. And they have written about their impressions and thoughts on this matter.
Here are some stories from expats who have lived in Thailand.
I have collected some of the more interesting stories and decided to post them here. Indeed, it’s a tough call on which to accept and which to discard. They are all so very good. As such, there are pages and pages of this. I have just included this choice selection to “round off the corners” for the interested reader.
Beware of other expats
First off, whether you are in Thailand or in any other Asian nation, beware of other expats…
“The biggest "rip offs" I've seen and encountered have been perpetrated by expats on other expats. My best friend here is a 76-year-old Thai man and his family who have always shown me more generosity and kindness than I could ever possibly repay. On the dark side, one so-called expat "friend" actually had someone email me his fake obituary to avoid repaying loans I had made to him. I kid you not!” -Stickman
I can certainly vouch for that. Ouch! In fact, I no longer meet other expats for a coffee or informal talk. It’s simply not worth my time of day. Most are sadly pathetic. Not all, mind you. Just a lot of them. What I mean is that quality of what one would expect is rather low.
I just received a friend request on one of the expat forums. This guy is going to visit China for a week and wants to sit down with me and talk about tax and investment strategies with me over coffee. LOL. I told him I didn’t have any money. None. He responded “how can that be, how are you going to help the poor people?”. Ugh! What planet is he on? He wants me to trust him, a total stranger, with my money. He expects me to let him fly in, buy him coffee, give him money, and let him fly away with it...
I have met more than my fair share of young bright-eyed teachers, interns, and students on travel for the “experience”.
Interspersed with this group are the grubby tattooed covered “carnies” who now go by the moniker of “backpacker”.
Carny or carnie is a slang term used in North America for a carnival employee. It also refers to the language they use, particularly when the employee runs a "joint" (booth) (i.e. a "jointie), "grab joint" (food stand) , game, or ride (i.e. a "ride jock" or "ride operator") at a carnival, boardwalk or amusement park. The term "showie" is used synonymously in Australia.
Give me a break . They are just nomadic beggars without a home.
The older expats, for the most part are better.
They are typically trying to make a new life abroad, whether it is part of a retirement concept, or just out of raw need. They tend to be a little desperate. It’s tough starting out on scratch in your 50’s or later.
The problem is that within this mix of desperate “good guys” are a significant number of experienced fraudsters. I’ve had more than my fair share of bad experiences, thank you.
British conman Tony Kenway, 39, was shot twice in the head as he climbed into his Porsche in Pattaya in January. Police believe the hit was arranged by a rival underworld figure. The Times reported that Kenway was one of ten shady UK mafia figures operating in Pattaya. At the time of his murder, he had been out on bail and was scheduled to front court the following month. “Tony Kenway had a call center that employed foreign staff and made calls to Australia and Britain. He had two different companies that were involved in the scam,” an unnamed police source told The Sun. “The aim was to get people abroad to give their life savings. It was not small amounts. He was strong and pushed them for big investments. He promised them a big win. Like winning the lottery. The people who paid the money lost out. It was big amounts, millions and millions of Thai baht that many different people paid to him.” The source said Kenway’s victims were foreigners because he “did not dare” target local Thais. (https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/2711874/british-businessman-tony-kenway-shot-thailand-boiler-room-scam/)
Luck comes your way…
When you live in an area for some time, opportunities come and go. Some are quite noteworthy. For instance, here’s a “lucky guy” and his story;
“I went to a club on Soi 11 a few months ago and a mamasan who runs a massage shop I know well was there. She invites me to her table, buys me and my friend unlimited drinks for the next 3 hours and then tells me I can sleep with any of the girls on her table for free, oh and if I don’t like the girls that I can go visit her shop tomorrow and sleep with anyone who is there, again for free. The more I live in this social circle the more I realize how truly free I am. There are fewer hang-ups compared to other circles which have stupid ass logic and taboos.” -Afarangabroad
As always, please have fun.
One of the things that I do happen to know is how to dance. In fact, I was involved in semi-professional ballroom dancing for over five years. So I can dance a spell, and all women, no matter where they live can follow. They really can. Even if they don’t know the dance moves, they can instinctively follow. It’s truly amazing that women have this innate ability to follow in dance.
“Does sanuk (fun and the pursuit of fun) trump money in Thailand? You know, it just may. Talking with a friend who does not like to pay for lady drinks and considers them an unnecessary expense, he has found a way of keeping the girls with him when they're not up on stage yet not buying them a drink, or at the very most, buying just one. He dances with them right in the bar – and they love it – probably because he's a decent dancer. They forget all about the lady drinks because they are having so much fun – and the other girls in the bars seem envious. Yes, it would seem that sanuk really does trump money, even for the ladies of the night.” -Stickman
What about visitors?
Ah. You live in an interesting place. Everyone wants (or at least say they want) to visit and stay a while. Oh, it sounds so nice. But, is it really? What about when your friends actually come to visit?
“You didn’t mention, when a friend arrives in Bangkok with his GF, it’s a big pain in the ass for me too. I have to entertain him and his bird in a non-threatening environment, often for up to 3 nights in a row, even more when they return from the islands or up north. So we sit in some artsy gaff in Ekkamai sipping overpriced cocktails and discussing the weather, I get flashes of us beering it up at some dive full of sexpots only he could dream of. Add to that the rules in most lap dance joints back home, you cannot touch. If you do you’d risk a team handed beating off the bouncers. In Bangkok he can touch and even get to sleep with these young vixens without any strings attached.Would most men be tempted to cheat under these circumstances?” -Pat 26 January, 2017
Thailand Men…
What about the guys in Thailand? Well, they are an interesting bunch for certain. Consider this story;
“One of my wife's aunts had been married to a Thai gent who had spent time in prison for murdering someone for a motorbike. He was not much of a husband as he regularly beat her and eventually left her with two teenage children. Child support? Dream on! To make a long story short, she met a well off man from Norway and he popped the question so they set a date to marry in the village. Two days before the wedding she received a call from the ex, "I am going to bomb the wedding and kill everyone." The police were contacted to supply security and the wedding went off as planned, but everyone was on edge the whole day. Around 10PM the ex called, "I am sorry but I started drinking whiskey this morning and could not come and bomb the wedding. I will kill you some other time." What a polite chap!” -A Polite Killer
Thailand Girls…
What about the girls in Thailand? Some expats claim that they are all money-grubbing crooks, while others say they are all angels. What are they?
“I have the following to contribute. I have lived in Bangkok 7 years and have dated every kind of Thai gal imaginable. In regard to your opening piece about Thai good girls, it is my opinion that one can break Thai gals into 4 categories:
1) Good girls – just as you stated, they are controlled by their families, are raised to always be conservative and do the right thing, and would make excellent wives in my opinion for those guys who want the gal “to be seen and not heard.” This is the type of gal 95% of Thai guys want to marry.
2) Nice girls – The largest group by far, these gals are raised to be good girls but are so only in front of their families. With their friends or boyfriend they are more outgoing, very interested in sex if they have one special guy, and a lot more fun and interesting than the good girls. They are usually polite, fun and sociable. This is my target group.
3) Party girls – They don’t work in naughty nightlife places, but these gals drink, sleep around and love the nightlife. They can be a lot of fun, but they are basically the female equivalent of us (all of us party guys who love booze and broads) so be careful with your heart.
4) Bad girls – the gals who work in the naughty nightlife or any other arena where the main goal is to trade sex for money. Any additional comment would be superfluous.
I think most Thai parents try to influence their daughters to be good girls, but would be more than happy if they became nice girls. Party girls most definitely hide their real persona from their families, and unfortunately bad girls are usually trained from birth to be so by their greedy families. Speaking only of Bangkok, I would estimate the breakdown by percentage to be the following: good girls – 10%, nice girls – 75%, party girls – 10%, bad girls – 5%.
Tales of Adventure.
Thailand can be full of adventure. The stories who have lived there are certainly interesting.
“…When Nok shows up she’s got a good body, nice face, white skin, she doesn’t like talking Thai but speaks Lanna to me which I hate but I roll with it. So I ask her if she wants to go get noodles, “sure” she says.
So she gets on the bike and I ask where she wants to go using those exact words. She says wherever I want. Not the best thing for a chick to say to me, so we drive off.
And I’m thinking “stuff it”. I’ll just take her to the curtain hotel.
She I drive over to the Love Boat a short time hotel around Jed Yort and park in the parking space and walk inside. She’s standing outside looking a little confused (she really is from the mountains) and I said “it’s ok, come inside”.
When she is inside she’s looking around and asks me “so how long have you lived here for?” I can’t stop but laugh, this girl really doesn’t know anything.
If you’ve never been to a curtain hotel in Chiang Mai it’s basically a parking spot with a door, the door is unlocked you walk into the door there is a room and then they pull a curtain behind the car, you pay by the hour and you pay when you leave not when you arrive.
Inside the room and the curtain already pulled I tell her we are going to have sex. She tells me she doesn’t want to and thought we were just going to get noodles. I say we can get noodles after we have sex.
She doesn’t seem pleased but gets on the bed and goes along with it anyway, wasn’t that much fun honestly but since the room only cost me 160 baht for the hour I figure it was worth it. I ask her afterwards why she had sex with me and she said she had sex before so why not. No I didn’t force her either guys! We have a shower get dressed and I drive her home.
When we get to her place she asks me “are we not going to have noodles”?
I tell her next time.
A week later I call her up and tell her that I felt bad about last time and that I want to buy her noodles again. She seems hesitant and so I assure her that this time we really are going to eat noodles and that last time I was just bad and want to make it up to her.
So this time I pick her up at her apartment around 10pm at night she hops on and again I ask her where do you want to go. Again she says “Up to you”.
So without hesitation she jumps on and again I drive straight to the curtain hotel and have sex with her again. After cleaning up she asks me are we going to have noodles now, I tell her I’ve already eaten and I’ll drop her off back at home.
A few days later I call her up again and she picks up the phone, I say what are you doing? Nothing she replies, so I ask her “Do you want to go for noodles”.
She hangs up the phone.”
Just for American men…
Many men, most especially Americans have “had it” (Are tired of, or exhausted from…) with “the way life” is for men in the States.
How a person lives their life. In the United States, this is work in a job where you give everything to a company who will fire you with no notice, taxed where most goes to the government and you don’t qualify for anything back, and where society limitations and the latest round of anti-Male…anti-white… anti-man… attitude is far too oppressive to live acceptably.
This is a typical response and is quite accurate in that it reflects the feelings of many of my fellow male Americans.
“Yeah because spending 40+ years sucking your boss ballz all day long to earn a medium salary and having a single monthly intercourse with your fat wife (that is going to divorce you and take about half your earnings after 10-15 years) is not being a loser. Call us loser as you please, making our own jobs, our own money (even if it’s little) and creampie tight pussy all year long isn’t that much of a bad life. I need to go, it’s almost 2pm, time for my morning blow-job before I start my daily hour of work.” -bkkyolo 17 April, 2017
Yes. He is right and he is telling us all how he feels. To all those readers who aren’t listening are not paying attention… It is exactly how he feels.
Yet, it is more (much more) than that. It is about betrayal on all levels.
Not just by society.
For society has turned him into an unappreciated moneymaking machine to his wife, but also the nature of business, which terminated the longevity of his career. No longer can he work and retire on a pension.
In fact, more than likely he will be forced to start new from scratch in his 50’s after he has been stripped of all his possessions. (Like myself.)
Yet, it is even more than that. It is the absolutely criminal nature of the government that he must toil under as well. The decision to escape all these conditions is a valid one, and he is absolutely justified in making it.
Want to know what I am referring to?
If you want to understand why the status quo is unraveling, start by examining the feudal structure of our society, politics and economy. Consider the revelations coming to light about Hollywood Oligarch Harvey Weinstein perfectly capture the true nature of our status quo: a rotten-to-the-core, predatory, exploitive oligarchy of dirty secrets and dirty lies protected by an army of self-serving sycophants, servile toadies on the make and well-paid legal mercenaries. Predators aren't an aberration of the Establishment; they are the perfection of the Establishment, which protects abusive, exploitive predator-oligarchs lest the feudal injustices of life in America be revealed for all to see. The predators reckon their aristocratic status in Hollywood/D.C. grants them a feudal-era droit du seigneur (rights of the lord) to take whatever gratifications they desire from any female who has the grave misfortune to enter their malefic orbit. Indeed, anyone who protests or makes efforts to go public is threatened by the oligarch's thugs and discredited/smeared by the oligarch's take-no-prisoners legal mercenaries. The dirty secret is that the oh-so-hypocritical power elites of Hollywood and Washington D.C. circle the wagons to protect One of Their Own from being unmasked. The first weapons of choice in this defense are (as noted above) threats from thugs, discrediting the exploited via the oligarchy's paid goons and lackeys in the mainstream media and dirty lies about what a great and good fellow the oligarch predator is. The last line of defense is a hefty bribe to silence any peasant still standing after the oligarchs' onslaught of threats, smears and lies. Should the worst happen and some sliver of the truth emerge despite the best efforts of the thugs, corporate media, legal mercenaries and PR handlers, then the playbook follows the script of any well-managed Communist dictatorship: the oligarch predator is thrown to the wolves to protect the oligarchs' systemic predation and exploitation of the peasantry/debt-serfs. Just as in a one-party Communist dictatorship, an occasional sacrificial offering is made to support the propaganda that the predators are outliers. Rather than the only possible output of a predatory, exploitive feudal status quo comprised of a small elite of super-wealthy and powerful oligarchs at the top and all the powerless debt-serfs at the bottom who must do their bidding in bed, in the boardroom, in the corridors of political power, and in the private quarters of their yachts and island hideaways. Media reports suggest that the real reason Mr. Weinstein has been fired is not his alleged conduct over the past 27 years but his loss of the golden touch in generating movie-magic loot for the oh-so-liberal and politically correct Hollywood gang that was pleased to protect Mr. Weinstein when he was busy enriching them. What's truly noteworthy here is not the sordid allegations and history of payoffs--it's the 27 years of intense protection the Hollywood/ media /D.C. status quo provided, despite hundreds of insiders knowing the truth. Just as hundreds of insiders with top secret clearance knew about the contents of the Pentagon Papers, and thus knew the Vietnam War was little more than an accumulation of official lies designed to protect the self-serving elites at the top of the power pyramid, only one analyst had the courage to risk his career and liberty to release the truth to the American public: Daniel Ellsberg. Why are we not surprised that Hollywood, the corporate media and Washington D.C. lack even one courageous insider? If you want to understand why the status quo is unraveling, start by examining the feudal structure of our society, politics and economy, and the endemic corruption, predation and exploitation of the privileged oligarchs at the top. Then count the armies of self-serving sycophants, toadies, lackeys, hacks, apologists, flunkies, careerists and legal-team mercenaries who toil ceaselessly to protect their oligarch overlords from exposure. Open your eyes, America: there are two systems of "justice": one for the wealthy and powerful oligarchs, and an overcrowded gulag of serfs forced to plea-bargain in the other. If John Q. Public had done the deeds Mr. Weinstein is alleged to have done, Mr. Public would have long been in prison. As Orwell observed about a totalitarian oligarchy, some are more equal than others.
Here’s another…
“Two reasons I come to Thailand, warm weather and sex! Although some times the birds are not quite as fit as I would like, too tight to pay more than 1500 baht for ST 555! I do like Thai beer and food though, so that’s four reasons, actually apartments are cheap, so that’s five. I bought Harvie’s ebook on freelancing, I got bored of writing for clients, so instead I write about rustic decor and shabby chic, Well, it pays for trips for to BKK and being down right dirty…” -The Bamboo Bazaar 26 April, 2017
Honeymoon Period
Ah, it’s all fun and games when you arrive. Yet, how long it is sustainable before it gets dry and old?
“I reckon the honeymoon period for the average new expat to Thailand, irrespective of financial position, age, nationality etc is around 2 years. During the honeymoon period everything is wonderful and the new arrival may feel like he is in paradise. Some new expats become quite defensive when long-timers make comments about the country or the expat lifestyle that aren't positive. I often receive emails from new arrivals who feel the tone of this column and the site in general errs on the negative. I wouldn't say it's negative, rather that it's realistic. As a regular Thai female reader of this site (yes, they DO exist) said to me recently, many of the criticisms simply reflect the harsh reality of life for foreigners in Thailand. Those were her words. Get through the honeymoon period – it lasts a different period for each of us, but figure it to be around a couple of years – and then let me know what you think. Ignorance is bliss.” -Stickman.
Going back home…
What about when you return back to your home country?
“I have found it is now unacceptable to visit Thailand in the eyes of many westerners back home. I recently rode the train from the USA to Canada. Upon entering customs in Canada the cheeky immigration woman saw a 30-day entry stamp in my passport showing I had been to Thailand on a holiday two years previously. She immediately grilled me with questions as to why I would ever go to Thailand and what I was doing there. She sent me to a private area where all my bags, camera and computer were thoroughly searched. Like most males returning to their home country from a visit to Thailand, this type of harassment by immigration officials has unfortunately become typical and expected. However, I have never heard of it happening when traveling solely within North America. I have been branded guilty and am being harassed simply because I took a holiday to Thailand!” -Stickman Blog
Yeah, the social justice warrior types can make your life miserable…
“I met a man and his wife (she wanted to know about the Land of Smiles) in Cambridge (near Boston). Before the main course was served she was being rude in an ignorant feminist way. I just kept smiling. Did you know that all single men that go to Thailand are pigs? I did not know that. I gotta tell ya. Life for me is just one learning moment after another.” -Stickman
Do you want to move to Thailand?
What about advice for those who might want to move to Thailand?
“I have some advice to any westerners out there contemplating moving to Thailand. If you are rich and are sensible with money, then go ahead. If an international company or similar offers you a high salary job in Thailand then fine. If your are retired or have steady funds from aboard and want to live modestly on those funds, go ahead, but watch yourself. And if you're a young dude traveling around the world, and you want to spend some time in Thailand teaching or whatever for experience, then that's OK too. If you don't fall into these categories then "don't" consider it for a moment. Many middle aged westerners in particular (including professionals) like the idea of living there, having a business or making some money and "enjoying life" in Thailand. But very few make it. (Forget about western restaurant or bar owners and alike you might meet in Thailand boasting about their good life there. It is common for faltering foreigners to keep up appearances). Mostly they end up broke or crazed, sometimes both, then they leave. Thai business, visa and residency laws get you in the end. The "Thai way" will get you in the end. Have a minor run-in with a wealthy or important Thai and your status and possibly your life will be at risk. Their whole culture is geared around making sure that foreigners pursuing individual efforts are not successful. It's ingrained in them from an early age to believe that they are the never-colonized master race of Asia (yes they really think that) and their mythology runs so deep you'll never budge it. Remember, in Thailand you'll never have any real business, legal or ownership rights. But Thais can go to your country (very possibly) and buy and own anything they can get their hands on (because of the more tolerant business laws). To Thais, this is just further evidence of how clever they are, and how foolish are the foreigners to go to Thailand. Remember too, that Thailand is dominated by a comparatively small military-industrial elite. They have all the power and most of the wealth in the country. (Sounds like America, actually. In America the ILLUSION of the ability to “move ahead” is promoted in the mainstream media, but the reality is something other than that.) The idea of western foreigners living in the country and achieving wealth and status through individual entrepreneurial efforts is seen as a threat to the hegemony that they have over the Thai underclass – the bulk of the population. For this reason, it is never allowed to happen. Think of Thailand, for westerners, as being a bit like a casino. A casino is a place with a touch of excitement, the lure of good fortune / the good life, and a place for fun, even with a bit of a risk. Go to a casino every now and then for fun and that's OK. Go there everyday all-day and you will ultimately lose, because the House Advantage will always get you. So it is in Thailand. The Thai "House Advantage" will get you. They make sure of it. Of course, if going to Thailand with all your money and slowly losing it and ending up teaching English for a pittance (because that's about all you can do), either illegally or working legally but being treated like a serf by Thai institutions, appeals to you then go ahead. And running around the country several times a year getting visas, or always being at the mercy of authorities on visa matters might be your bag. If so, then go ahead, at least you'll be able to spend your nights at cheap restaurants sharing your impoverishment and frustration with other exploited western teachers. If not, think seriously. In case you are thinking, let me say that I am not a former go-go bar owner gone bust, I have not lost my all doing business with Thais, no I haven't been cheated of everything by a bar-girl, no I haven't been reduced to the indignity of teaching English for a pittance. I have my own money, have spent a lot of time in Thailand, and have done some business there, have observed the experiences of a lot of foreigners, can see what goes on, and have enough concern to want to tell others about it. If my words can prevent even one westerner of modest means from selling up and going to "enjoy life" in Thailand (and getting shafted in the end) then that will be something. Don't make the mistake of thinking that as a foreigner (even with professional skills) you can "make a contribution" to Thailand, no matter how good your intentions or needed your skills may be. Your contribution will *never* be welcomed, only your money. There is a saying in Thai that captures it well: "farang roo mark my dee" – foreigners who know too much [about Thailand] are no good. Gullible tourists, however, are great. So, go to Thailand as a tourist if you like, enjoy what you enjoy there, but don't be taken in by the culture or people, as many westerners have, and don't under any circumstances give up anything back home to go and stay there unless you are financially secure for life, or know exactly what you are doing. There is a tradition of resident foreigners in Thailand not telling you the truth about the country because they don't like to admit to themselves and to others about the mistake they have made in moving there. But especially now, with the financial mess Thailand has got itself into through a mixture of greed, incompetence, arrogance and corruption, and the prospect of difficult times ahead (to say the least) it is time for plain speaking. A final comment to anyone who strongly disagrees with these comments. Unless you have lived, worked and conducted business in Thailand for many years, I'm not interested. The views of "oh how can you say that, Thailand is really great" 2 week tourists carry no weight with those of us who know Thailand and Thais well. “ - John Zachary Smith Stickman says: Controversial, and will no doubt get certain folks fuming. While I don't agree with it in its entirety, there are a lot of points that I do concur with. The points you make are food for thought and should NOT be dismissed immediately!
Ah, but other expats have totally different opinions. Here is a retort to the above article;
“I have a feeling that I am in a position that frankly very few farang have ever been in. The odds seem to justify my opinion considering I work for a Thai company in Chonburi with 4,500 people and am the only farang here, let alone the only one that is not a teacher in the entire industrial estate. I'm 33, have a work permit, do the same professional work I did back in my country, make a pretty damn good income and am treated extremely well both at work and in the town I live. Based on everything I have seen, read and heard, I feel like I have won the lottery. I sense I am in an incredible position compared to how ruthless and xenophobic Thailand is portrayed. I haven't met one Thai person who has been rude, derogatory or angry at me for being here. In fact I've only received the opposite. Adulation, even just for being a farang (which perplexes me). Most of my friends (all Thai) have university degrees and are intelligent people. I asked a few of them why they love farangs and the answers I got back were (hell, I'll quote one verbatim) "I think farang people are just perfect". I get drinks and food bought, given or offered to me all the time. I've had more interest from beautiful women since arriving here 2 months ago than I had in 10 years back home. I don't get farang prices at shops or stalls and to top that all off I can barely speak Thai to save my life. This isn't aimed as a gloat email. It's more a case that sometimes there are examples that differ from the norm, as per the Don't Move to Thailand post. I feel like this country is one of the last bastions of optimism left in the world and I plan on trying to be as good and honest with the people here as they have been with me. I don't know if Thailand attracts fools who cannot make it or I lucked out. Either way, sometimes stereotypes can be broken. I love this country and it's been incredible to me. “ - A happy camper.
Those who Returned Home
What do others have to say about Thailand? You have got to be careful.
“Whenever I get depressed I feel like I just want to run away to Thailand. Rent a nice place, get on Tinder, join a gym and start a new adventure. But I have learnt from my mistakes and going to Thailand is not the answer. Whenever I go I always start off on the right path. I always say to myself, enjoy the sun, no hookers, go out and explore, join a gym. That usually lasts a week. Then I get lost down soi 4, I get drunk, I wake up late. I ignore Tinder dates and just bang hookers. I even ended up with a few ladyboys hanging out the back of me on occasions. Disgraceful. Life is about good company and staying away from trouble. As I get older I have come to the conclusion that while one's freedom is important, too much freedom can send a man feral.” -Stickman [i] https://www.stickmanbangkok.com/weekly-column/2016/06/bangkokescortcom-revisited/
Living in another country can change you.
“After living in any Asian country for more than 10 years, one definitely does not fit into one's homeland. I've been back in my home country for nearly 10 months after living in Japan for almost 20 years, having extensively enjoyed the hypnotic allures of such cities as Tokyo, Bangkok, Beijing, and Shanghai along with numerous trips to the mystically appealing islands on Thailand. Returning to the West can be a shock! I now fully understand why many of the expats I met found it difficult to live in their native country and had to return to Asia. It reminds me of trying to fit a square block into round hole. No matter how you place it, it just does not fit! To all of you foreign residents in Thailand and in Asia, enjoy your existence there, because when you return to your homeland, you will dream of those exciting days when you lived in Asia! Know well you can easily leave Asia, but it can never leave your heart! It's a stern price to pay for the sights, sounds, sensations, and pleasures one takes from Asia!” -Stickman
Not everything is perfect when you return home…
“I would have to disagree with one of your readers complaining that beer in a Bangkok a gogo is now more expensive than in a pub in England. In some cases it is (I assume he can't live in London), but you just can't compare having to wait 10 minutes to get served in an English chain pub by one of the 2 bar staff to the instant service you usually get in a Bangkok gogo whilst watching the dancing with a lovely in a thong sitting on your knee!” -Comment on Stickman Blog
The reality of taking a Thai woman to America…
“Many American men bought in to the whole idea that Thai women were more marriage type than the angry American women we encounter all the time. Sadly, for many of us that is not true. I work every day, come home dirty and earn my pay. I took good care of my family. The only way to keep a beautiful Thai woman happy here is the same as anywhere – you must have money to keep them in high status with their family back home and keep them entertained here. And if you live in small-town USA, you are wasting your time thinking they will be happy. I know many will disagree with this, but wait about three years and then see.” -Stickman (Having Two Homes)
Thailand is an adventure, but is it a “rest of your life” destination? Many argue against it.
“There is something very sad about an older man still being a slave to his desires and vices. It takes strength to stop lying to oneself. It's uncomfortable to consider we might be wrong or that we're really just a slave to some 45 kg girl. A photo you took of old guys sitting around waiting for their next fix was almost my future. Thailand will never change, but it always changes us. The venom some readers spit at you is jealousy. You are making many people reevaluate their lives in Thailand and that is scary for them. The truth is that they don't need Thailand as much as it needs them. I've noticed quite a change with the men and women I work and come in to contact with lately here in Canada. They somehow smell something different about me, even when I say nothing. Maybe that I project no desires, I'm unapologetic, professional and not overly polite and stumbling over myself. I'm comfortable in my own skin, I don't need them and they respect that. I can thank Thailand. I would still suggest to any single man to go and check it out, but just don't get caught up in that black hole long-term. Go have some fun, boys, but remember, your coffin probably won't be buried in Thailand and eventually we all need to come home.” -Stickman
Thailand will change you. Just remember the four rules. Living as an expat WILL change you. However, Thailand will change you in ways that are beyond my ability to convey.
"A man with a hard cock has a soft heart and a soft cock equals a cold heart".
- Do NOT believe that Thais have the same values you may harbor.
- Do NOT act on any impulse to come to the aid of another person being attacked – for any reason.
- DO understand that your presence is tolerated ONLY because of the currency that accompanies you.
- DO acknowledge that your well-being depends upon your strict adherence to the above.
You’ve been warned, farang. Otherwise, enjoy your stay!
Although all of this should, by now, be common knowledge to regular visitors and expats, it never hurts to reinforce the obvious. This was made even more obvious by the recent beating and knife attack on a Belgian male who came to the aid of a Thai woman being attacked in Satun by her husband. And no-one should be shocked that the husband first went to secure a knife and the help of his brother before launching his assault.
Thailand will expose you to realities and situations that will provide you with new perspectives.
“A few weeks back, I get a call from a distant cousin about his daughter coming to Bangkok with her boyfriend and was asked if I would mind showing them around. They are in their 20s and figured out their own way around, but they did meet me one evening for dinner. At the end of the evening, the 20-something daughter said to me, "I would like to get some new boobs. Can you recommend someone?" I have a nurse in my network who works in one of the better clinics, a phone call was made and an appointment was set to meet the doctor the next evening. We show up at the clinic – the girl, the boyfriend, my girlfriend (translator) and me. She was very satisfied with the interview and we left. But there was a small issue….she wanted to see and feel what new boobs would be like. Could I arrange that too? Like now, tonight, as they are off to Samui in the morning! Sure, no problem! You would like me to find a girl who has had them done, so you can feel them like right now? Yes! Off to Nana we go. In a ladyboy bar, a round of drinks later (double for the boyfriend who was freaking out), "There, pick the one you would like to be like!" She pointed to one very good looking "girl" and my girlfriend went on to explain the situation to her. Off they went to the toilet: the candidate, the translator and the model. They came out after a while, all of them with a huge grin on their faces: the cousin because she got to feel and take pictures to show the doctor, the ladyboy who was now 500 baht richer, and my girlfriend who could no longer keep a straight face. Just another typical evening in Bangkok!” -Stickman
Perhaps here is one of the best descriptions of what it is like to live in Asia (for three years), and then return back to America. It’s honest, and harsh, and if the reader has no idea what the writer is talking about then I strongly suggest you leave the USA and experience life…
“I'm writing this from the West Coast of USA, in a very quiet, very peaceful duplex. I have returned to the US after 3+ years living in Bangkok. I'm still deciding what really happened out there. My decision to move to Thailand, back in 2010, was based on a lifelong dream of living out of the US for at least one year of my life. I had originally wanted to live in Europe, but during the time I was looking for the right place to land, European economics were in meltdown. So I started researching Asia. For work purposes I almost went to Singapore, but then decided Bangkok would be more fun. I was right. It wasn't just the sex. I never had trouble landing women in the States. I broke up with a very attractive Thai / Cambodian woman in the US before I left. She was fun, but a bit of a bitch at times. I know enough about women to understand that ratio changes the longer you're in a relationship. Married, she would have been a bitch that was a bit of fun at times. She wanted kids and I didn't. That was that. Before that I had two different 20-something girlfriends, great sex, lots of drama, not long-term but fun. I had learned stellar game skills and liked landing semi long-term relationships with pretty women. It was worth the pursuit, the hunt, the thrill of the conquest and of course, all the great sex. So I didn't go to Thailand for sex. I went to fulfill a lifetime goal of living out of my country for a year, and when I added up how I was supporting myself, what the costs of living were, and the fact that English teaching provided a safety net if things went wrong, Thailand just made sense. I landed in Bangkok and fell in love with the place. I had lived most of my life in New York City, and spent time in Paris, Rome, London, LA, Berlin, Caracas and many other amazing places. But Bangkok blew my mind. The chaos, the sexiness, the otherness, and just how freaking different it was from the staid, plain US was like medicine. Even New York City – supposedly that wild town – is to me, a very processed and predictable place when compared to Bangkok. So I loved it. I traveled Thailand for a month and returned to Bangkok. I set up shop pursuing my dreams. I got lucky with real hard work, landed my business contacts back West, and managed to live for more than three years in Thailand. I had a nice condo, pool on the roof, and money to play with. There were a few rough patches for sure, but also some nice straight-aways. Basically, it turned out to be what I was looking for: the adventure of a lifetime. That adventure meant broadening my horizons. I loved learning the language. I was a Thai language class nerd. I made a few Thai friends and played badminton religiously. I put a damn good pool game together. I travelled all over, made expat friends, and had a blast. I even finally got a local job offer in my industry, which is really tough to do, and held that for a while, living the Bangkok executive life although admittedly not on the high end of that scale. Still, it was all really remarkable. However, when a job offer came up with an old employer in the West, I took it. After more than three years, I was ready to leave. They flew me back, settled me here, and I plugged in. I actually landed on the fourth of July, if you can believe that. And I was thrilled to be back. I hadn't been back in the US for even a holiday the whole time I was in SE Asia. Any time I had to travel, I had gone all over Thailand, Laos or Cambodia. I love SE Asia, but my reasons for repatting were professional. The jobs are better in the US. I stayed with mine for five months. It was a contract. When I was offered a full time job, I turned it down in order to start another business I had been planning. And that's where I am now. I loved being back in the States when I landed. I loved being back in familiar settings, and hearing familiar speech. I loved catching up with friends. I fully intended to plug back in here, and resume life where I had left it when I had jetted to Thailand. Thailand had been working against me in the half year before I left. I was getting fed up with the visa issues, and the outsider status. I became depressed at how hard it was to positively affect the business world there, or even the fate of the country. I like to think I can make a difference where I am. Of course, there are charities, and I did a bit of work with those. But ultimately, Thailand is for Thais. God bless them for that, is my attitude. In this One World homogenization that is happening, I have lots of respect for countries that retain national values and identities. Although I respect it, that doesn't mean I wasn't frustrated by it, and ultimately, living as a constant outsider was getting to me. I had also come to the conclusion that marrying a Thai, or even having a serious Thai girlfriend wasn't what I liked, due to the many reasons cited in other posts here. I dated “civilians” who weren't in the leisure industry, but found the culture gap too huge to leap. Plus the adjustment I had to make in terms of being 3rd on the totem pole (Family, Career, Boyfriend) never did it for me. After that decision, I partied too much. I was drinking and balling and more than a bit adrift before I left. That's why I was really happy to be back in the US. It was just time to go. My hand had been played. I felt very lucky to leave when and how I did. But here's the problem. After the glow of happy returns wore off, I have to be honest with the fact that I just don't like the US lifestyle. I came back to give the west a full on fair shake. I even saw it with new eyes. And there's much I really love about US that I had to be away from before I could appreciate it. It truly is a tremendous land of amazing professional opportunity, as well as a place where self development is encouraged and valued. Every system is crooked, but the corruption here is way toned down compared to SE Asia. The work place has some clowns, but is largely a meritocracy, where good workers are advanced, and losers get let go. People try hard. They want to make things better. The innovate. But what's really turning me off is how processed it all is. How boring. It feels like this grey machine. A conveyor belt. Relationships feel flimsy. Everybody works. Watches TV. Works more. The amount of hostility towards men is repulsive, as it plays out in the workplace and in media. But the underground of MGTOW and Red Pill is filled with a tremendous amount of hostility as well. I just really can't believe how unhappy and depressed most people in the west are. It's like there is this War on Love, destroying relationships between lovers, friends, and communities. There's not much neighborhood or local cohesion. I feel everybody keeps busy busy busy all the time, working buying and watching, working buying and watching, to avoid admitting how bleak and punishing the average life is here. I don't want to support it. I don't want to fit in and be part of it. I have no regrets I left Thailand, and in terms of timing, when I was pulled back here was really a blessing. But I can't deny the fact that I feel a huge void in my life out here. I believe what I miss most is the excitement and adventure and just fantastic thrill – with all the tribulations that went with it – which living abroad in SE Asia provides. I just had more fun there. I felt more alive there. And what's also really difficult is that all of the experiences I had in Thailand aren't really welcome out here. Beyond the natural bias that women have of "men who go to Thailand", I'm just shocked that nobody really wants to know what life in another land is like. Maybe I'm a bad story teller. But maybe Americans are just living in their bubble. My countrymen have little frame of reference outside of their work and TV shows. It's heartbreaking, really. So much of the world, so much to see and hear about, and nobody wants to hear about it. I read a lot of columns on Stick that talk about how Thais don't really know much about the outside world. But in a way, the Americans don't either. So I'm left with this huge piece of living, and no place to process it. It's disheartening. The place runs well. The trains are on time, as they say, but psychologically, I feel the West is a very hostile and weird place these days. Especially when it comes to men / women relationships. I am shocked at the deterioration in relationships that I have seen, in just the past ten years. It's just so aggressively mercenary. The romance has been drained from the punch. There's very little charm in the process. I found dating pretty pointless, but still fun and sweet enough in Thailand. Even it if leads nowhere beyond walking around a mall and having some sex, it was lighter and more pleasant. In America, dating is this grim operation to perform: shit tests, hoops, Social Market Value, and the flat-out rude bossiness that has become the modern American woman. Joyless. Probably that's what this entire post comes down to… that one word: Joyless. America is not a life. It's a job. The job is work. And work sucks. Thais value fun. They like life light. Sanuk isn't just something in tour books. They have an art to daily living that has a pleasant ambience based on a healthy injection of “I don't give a damn”. All of us who have lived there have been on the maddening side of it. But from where I'm writing now, I see it now as a great way to resist the corporate take-over of every part of life. Why the fxxk should we all have to work so hard? Who's getting rich off our sweat? Just this morning I read that a new crisis on American college campuses is that many American university students are killing themselves or crowding counselor's crisis centers. Shouldn't higher learning be a better experience? They are probably feeling total dread at what the American system has laid out for them: joyless toil. It's like we're all fighting as hard as we can to jam our way into jobs that shred us. Why? Life shouldn't be so damn serious. Thais know that. I miss that. I miss them. I miss their land. With luck I'll be back and honestly, probably bitching about lots of the things I just heralded in the previous paragraph. lol. Should fate decide otherwise, and slugging it out in the US is my path, I have my memories. They will remain a precious jewel for life. Either way, I am richer, wiser, and more the man I dreamed of being for having spent my time in LOS. Enjoy it out there, gentlemen. Play smart and it's a brilliant part of the world to live life. Play dumb and it's still one hell of an adventure. My time there was a blend of both and I wouldn't trade it for anything. “ - “After 3+ Years in Thailand, Reflections From Home” by Rich Archer on the Stickman Blog. Reader submission. May 2015
The Top 10 types of expat in Thailand
Let's talk about steriotypes. There are some particular sub-sets of Thai expat that you can spot a mile away. I knwo that it is bad to type-cast a typical expat, but it's boat-loads of fun, and it's a natural thing to do. Here are some sub-sets that you can use as a guide. Jus tkeep in mind that there are plenty of other varieties of expats floating around Thailand.
Here are just some major classifications of Thailand Expat that are pretty obvious. You can point them out with big splayed brushes, and will pretty much be right on target. Check them out…
1. The search of a wife
Finding looking for love in the West daunting? Or had a few failed marriages? Head to Asia and find a wife there instead. Right?!
- Thailand is the place for sex.
- Thailand is not the place for love.
- If you indeed want to find true love in Thailand, then expect to change and adapt to the way that things are done in Thailand. Not the other way around.
These gentlemen come to Thailand for the sole purpose of finding love and maybe a wife. There seems to be some belief that Asian women are going to be more polite, obedient and submissive than the women in their own country.
Oh! Boy or boy are they going to get a shock.
Others are looking to ‘trade in’ their older, western model for a younger, prettier Asian version. And where are you going to find this source of Asian ladies? At an expat bar (or on the internet these days). And so the well-trodden path and litany of perilous adventures begins. We know how most of these relationships end.
Of course there are many western men, and women, who do find a Thai partner and live long, happy lives. But (please kindly be advised) they’re vastly out numbered by the stories of love-gone-wrong in the Land of Smiles.
Don’t take life too seriously Read a couple of hundred stories on the internet before moving in with the Thai GF. Realize that you must have deep pockets. As wll as a wallet that resembles Alladan's magic lamp. Oh, and one more thing; Guys, please keep in mid that the bar girls don’t actually love you.
2. The businessman
Many professional expats live, mostly in Bangkok, working for big international companies on salaries that would make them rich in any country. They can afford to, and do, live the high life.
- Some are single but others bring their family along for the adventure.
- They rent a big house.
- They have a live-in maid.
- They have a driver and live a great life indeed.
But, living their life in an artificial bubble in their working years, they rarely transition into a more mundane retired life in ‘normal’ Thailand.
3. Retiring in Thailand
The mantra used to be that you could move to Thailand and live off your pension (which would translate to lots and lots of baht), walking the Phuket beaches, shopping in Bangkok or living a quiet life in Chiang Mai.
Ah, yes. The perfect retirement lifestyle.
Other single, mostly, men would be lured by a carefree life of cheap beer, endless beaches and a seemingly endless supply of attractive young ladies in the many bars. (And who wouldn’t be lured by such wonderful attributes?)
A lot of this has changed in recent years.
The Thai economy has gained strength, along with the Thai Baht. With some international currencies have comparatively deflated. Which means that people hoping to live off their overseas pensions or savings are not getting the same bargain they once did.
This is especially living in tourist hubs like Bangkok, Phuket or Pattaya, the cost of living has been rising in recent years pricing them out of the retirement market.
If you’re contemplating a retired life in Thailand spend some time on the internet and come and spend a few months in selected locations. Try before you buy and don’t start packing the crockery until you’ve done your homework and your calculus.
4. Teaching English
The English teacher is found everywhere in the LOS (Land of Smiles) and is still a reasonably sure-fire way to extend your time living in Thailand.
These teachers usually break down into four categories….
- Some are career educators and love teaching English.
- Others are backpackers trying to extend their stay and top up their travel budget.
- There are some older guys who have spent their life savings and will do anything to stay in Thailand.
- Finally, there’s the bored wives who want something useful and meaningful to fill their days whilst their husbands work for larger international companies.
There are numerous TEFL (Teaching English as a Foreign Language) courses around the country. The pay’s not great and you’ll be living a local lifestyle rather than the lap of luxury. But many former teachers remember their time teaching English in Thailand fondly and say they’ll never forget the smiling Thai children.
5. The entrepreneurial spirit
Savvy business people often come to Thailand for some better weather and the chance to make their fortune. The joke used to be that if you wanted to start a small business in Thailand, just invest in a big business here and wait a few years.
But many actually make a go of it and end up doing well.
Like starting a business anywhere else in the world, do your homework and make sure you tick all the right boxes, including a business and marketing plan (in a foreign country).
The flashy, brash real estate hacks that sell one property a year and spend the other 364 days sitting at the beach bar spending their commission, are a local cliché and a dime a dozen. Same goes for the internet hacks, the blogger hacks, and the travel-lifestyle hacks. It’s all nonsense. Don’t buy into the lies.
Remember that the paperwork and administration requirements of a Thai company can be bewildering and you WILL need some good local advice before you open up shop. Take someone who’s already done it for a few years to dinner and ask lots of questions.
6. The bored wife
Many of the categories mentioned so far have a predominance of males. Life for a single foreign woman in Thailand can be a challenge. Kudos to those who cut through the cultural issues and make a go of it.
There’s also the wives and partners of the many, many men who get to work in Thailand and bring their families with them. The live-in maid, driver and shopping trips eventually get boring and they will often be looking for other things to do. In most cases their visas won’t allow them to legally work. So many do end up doing various charity and volunteer work (thought you should be very clear about what your visa will and won’t allow you to do).
There are numerous expat groups around the country to provide information, social outings and community for the many mums or spouses who find themselves at a loose end whilst the husband works in the office. Jump on your computer and do some homework and you’ll discover a whole new world of other woman out there.
Your next coffee or movie gal-pal is as far away as the internet.
7. The fresh-starter
For whatever reason, Thailand seems to attract its fair share of misfits, vagrants and social outcasts that can’t seem to get their act together in their home country. So they come to Thailand where the cheap booze, beaches and travel brochures have lured them.
Of course they find a very different culture and an entirely new list of reasons they can’t fit in and get their life established.
Some are just running away from …
- Bad marriages
- The law
- Anything-they-don’t-want-to-confront.
The long term prognosis for many of these misfits isn’t good. We end up reading about them as over-stayers, drink driving road deaths or victims of balcony falls.
8. Sexpats
‘Sexpats’ are notorious and much-maligned.
They come to Thailand, lured by a slightly old-fashioned notions of the Kingdom as an easy place to find sex. And sometimes, in some locations the opportunities are still available, for a price. Sexpats usually hang around other expats who are less likely to frown on their indulgences. The three P’s – Patpong, Patong and Pattaya – sum up most of the popular sexpat locations.
In most cases they’re here for a good time, not a long time.
They will frequent the sleazier locations in Thailand pursuing their goals and, eventually, running out of money or getting bored. Or getting into trouble. Or contracting any number of available STDs.
9. The serial complainer
Nothing, absolutely nothing, will ever be as good in Thailand compared to where they come from. They will find fault in everything from the traffic to the food to the government to the medical system to the culture to the visa system to the corruption to the heat to the roads to the culture to the girls.
Surprise!
Thailand is a foreign country with a rich, frequently bewildering culture. The longer you spend here, the less it all makes sense. But that’s part of the glorious adventure of living in Thailand. Whilst many expats revel in the wonders and excesses of Thai life, some just wallow in their own self-righteousness.
Many of these haters and complainers have never been to Thailand but are happy to share their wisdom, often, in chat rooms and social media.
Blah, blah, blah.
Worse, there are plenty of haters living amongst us who bore us sideways with their whinging and complaining. They can be directed to the nearest international airport where they are invited to escape the country they so despise and return to their homeland or just go somewhere else, anywhere really.
10. The digital nomads
We see them tapping away on their keyboards at cafés and work spaces around the country. As long as they have wifi their business is open. They’re trading stocks and shares, selling property, gambling, posting stories, filing news reports, selling stuff on their Facebook pages – they’re working.
If you can run your business outside of a traditional office, hey, why not do it sitting next to a beach or high up in a mountain overlooking Chiang Rai. The digital nomads fall between the cracks in the Thai Immigration system and often have to run the gauntlet of dodgy visas and visa runs although a recently introduced Smart Visa helps some of them get a proper visa.
There is an increasing range of co-working spaces opening around the country and almost every café in Thailand will now have wifi – whether it’s working or not is another matter. Then again you can always tether your phone to your laptop and use your smartphone’s wifi.
However, as I have mentioned above, do NOT mistakenly believe that you can become a rich and successful person by banging around on your keyboard in a foreign land. If so, then Metallicman would have the wealth of George Soros. This is an option only for people who already have a successful online operation and they are able to port it over to Thailand without interruption.
Comparisons
For many Americans, Asia is Heaven. America has become the land of the heavily taxed serf, a land of the obese and argumentative, and the ugly. And when you leave the “wonderful shores of exceptionalism”, you discover that you wasted 50, 60 years of your life following a LIE. It’s an ideal that might at some time, long ago, existed for other people…
…but one that you never got a chance to participate within. So for you’se guys, like me. Asia is Heaven.
You go from this…
To this…
This says it all, I would think;
“The expat rule is, you have found paradise and you don’t want to share it with anyone, especially those you believe to be unworthy.” -Stephen365
And, with that I must add, do not debauch yourself to death…
An interesting write up about judgemental people, mostly Americans, of the “ugly American" persuasion. It is a great read, and spot on; The act of seeing a prostitute in Western countries has been demonized, sometimes even more so than the act of prostitution itself. In many states in the U.S., if you’re caught soliciting a prostitute, you’ll be arrested and charged, and your name will appear in the Newspaper and on the Newspaper’s website. Then when anyone Google’s your name, the first thing to come up will be the article about you trying to see a whore. Many feminists sympathize for the “poor working girls,” who are simply misguided, while vilifying the evil “Johns” who take advantage of the women by buying sex from them. You pay her $300 for her to tell you to “hurry up,” and yet you’re the one taking advantage of her - oh the irony!
Don’t be THIS guy…
An American male aged 55 just fell off the 27th floor landed right near the pool. He wrote a letter before jumped said that he ran out of money, his visa is expired and express a wish to live in Thailand longer. It’s a sad story indeed. You spend your entire life working inside the “American Dream”, only to be taxes, swindled, and squeezed out of everything. Then you take what little remains and go somewhere where you are appreciated. Yet, when the money dries up, everything is over. Sad. Looks like he'll be here forever now. http://www.livingthai.org/video-of-american-falls-to-his-death-in-pattaya.html
Or this fellow…
60 Year-old British Expat Found Dead in his Rented Room in Buriram Province. Upon entry of the rented room police found the body of James Track, 60 on the bed, surrounded by beer bottles, Deputy interrogation chief Pol Capt Decha Thongprapa said. Pol Capt Decha said the Briton might have died from consumption as it was revealed to him by other tenants that his wife had threatened to break up with him due to his drinking. http://www.chiangraitimes.com/60-year-old-british-expat-found-dead-in-his-rented-room-in-buriram-province.html
Things are different in Thailand.
Things are different; prostitution is more accepted and you certainly don’t have to worry about getting arrested for bar-fining a girl. We’re not usually judged for it in Asia, but we’re judged even more harshly by Western women than men who solicit prostitutes in their own country.
Because now we’re not just taking advantage of a “misguided woman”, and now we’re actually taking advantage of a “very poor and uneducated, misguided third world woman”.
Yeah. Right.
I’ll have to remember that the next time a bar girl begs me to spend the night with her.
I’ve been targeted numerous times by groups out there who try to shame me for “the proliferation of the prostitution scene.” It’s as if I tell people that it’s wrong NOT to see prostitutes, or that it’s wrong to treat them well when you do see them.
Some of these people act as if the prostitution scene in Thailand exists only because dirty old white men come here and throw their money around in ways that uneducated women simply can’t refuse.
This implication is mean spirited and outright false.
1) I find that to be an insult to Thai women; they’re not robots and they are acting on their own free will. To imply that they don’t know any better is another way of calling them stupid. Most of them are much more calculated than feminists give them credit for being, usually saving hordes of cash by the time they’re done in the profession.
2) The prostitution scene in Thailand has a long history that has only recently included white men. The facts are that most of the “Johns” throughout the country are Thai. But feminists, and those quick to point the finger, live in some sort of vacuum where they think that Soi Cowboy and Walking Street are the only prostitution havens in Thailand.
Feminists, and basically all Western women, have always been on that side of the issue. But lately, I’ve noticed a new group of people quick to throw stones at any man who would dare see a Thai prostitute: foreign men! These guys fall into different categories, I’ll list them for you.
1) The dating guru who insists that it’s STUPID and PATHETIC to have to see prostitutes since it’s so easy to score here with an unlimited amount of non prostitutes. In other words, “do as I do or you’re dumb and sad.” I’ve had my successes in the dating scene here, but I don’t see what that has to do with the prostitution scene.
2) The man who takes care of his wife’s Thai daughter from a past marriage, as his own, and is repulsed by the thought of her selling her body to foreign guys when she becomes of age. I don’t blame the guy for not wanting to see it happen to the girl, but it won’t happen if he does a decent job as a parental figure in her life. If he fails as a parent, and she does become a prostitute, it’ll be his fault, not the fault of the “johns” she sells herself to.
3) The “fragile heart” guys, otherwise known as: walking contradictions. These are the guys who fall in love with the first bar girl they buy sex from. They become so consumed with their “love,” that they have to find a way to justify the fact that she was sexing and fucking 20-40 guys per month for the past year or two. So, for whatever reason, some of these guys start to visualize the johns as being the villains. It doesn’t sound like a particularly healthy way of handling the situation, but that doesn’t seem to stop them. The craziest thing about it is that they themselves were a john when they first met the girl. They find a way to separate that from the evil guys who did the same thing as them, just without the falling in love part.
4) The guys who are just “above it all.” Most of these guys are outright liars, the rest of them are just judgmental assholes. Finding guys who have never truly seen a prostitute in their entire lives, especially those who have been to or live in Thailand, is even more rare than finding a guy who never had an alcoholic beverage before. I suppose there’s a few of them out there, but there’s a lot more guys out there who simply say they’ve never seen a prostitute, despite that being a lie. And if a guy saw a prostitute even one time in his life, and vows that he never has and is repulsed by anyone who does or has, that is just a sick and twisted way to go about things. Now, for those few guys who truly have never seen a prostitute, good for them. I’m not going around saying that they’re prudes or pussies for not doing it; I actually don’t care. I wouldn’t judge them either way. But if they are going to judge me, simply because I don’t adhere to the same moral codes as they do, then they can go and fuck themselves!
5) The religious type. If a guy’s religious code dictates that I’m a sinner, then so be it. Prostitution is known as the “oldest profession in the world.” It’s also pretty damn harmless compared to some more obvious “sins.” I don’t judge anyone for being very religious, that’s their prerogative. But I just wish some of them wouldn’t so often judge others that just don’t happen to follow the same religion with the same passion. Some of these guys are quite the hypocrites, because they’ve seen hundreds of prostitutes, but since that was “before they were saved,” that doesn’t count anymore.
I’m not even going to discuss the group of people out there who makes it like any “john” is basically a rapist sex trafficker; obviously those people need more help than most prostitutes. But that is basically the final end of the spectrum of people who hate on anyone who has ever been with a prostitute before. We’ve gone through all of the groups, and they all have two things in common: they’re judgmental and intolerant people.
Conclusion
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion on the matter, and to follow through in the way they see fit. Just as everyone can have their feelings on the topic, I have mine as well. I don’t judge others who don’t see me eye to eye on it; it’s just my own personal code.
This is true whether it is about China, or Thailand. About work, career, or pretty girls. It is the same regardless about how you live your life and what you do with your time. All men need a code; a code of behaviors.
And that is, that seeing prostitutes is like drinking alcohol – its fun sometimes, but it’s best to do it in moderation, and it’s important not to become completely addicted to it.
Like alcohol, if you’re not somewhat cautious, there can be some downsides. But if you can stick to the limits that you set, you’ll be fine.
Do you want more?
I have more posts long these lines in my KTV Index here…
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