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The mundane might be truly valuable

For a spell, I worked as a Movie Theater Manager in Corpus Christi, Texas. The theater was a duplex; meaning two screens. Being a rather small operation. And the company was Mann National and our branch was “Twin”. So I worked for and at “Mann National Twin”.

The hours were terrible. Essentially, you worked when everyone else was having fun. But the perks were nice. One of the perks was a credit card that enabled me to visit and watch any movie at any time at any of the movie theaters in the country. UA (United Artists) or whatever. I could go anywhere.

Some of the movies I would watch over and over. Like Christine, or “For your eyes only” which pretty much tells you all the time frame of my experience. Ha!

One of the things that I used to like to do was crawl up to the projection booth and ham it up with the projection guys. There were two guys and one girl and they all rotated. And they were union workers and had rules that they had to obey, but they liked me a lot and we had a good time chatting it up and chillin’.

Good memories come about around the most common and unusual events. Who would have ever thought that I would be remembering those days with a fondness from my office in China while some guy in Romania is hounding me for solar pile drivers? Ah, life is strange. That’s for sure.

Enjoy what you have. The mundane might be truly valuable.

Today…

 

When I was young, my mom regularly read my older sister’s diary and would scream at her for hours based on what my sister wrote (normal, innocent things like losing her temper about having to wash the dishes). So I never wrote in a diary even though my mom pushed me to. She tried to read all my emails, almost never left me at any friend’s house, and would listen in on phone conversations. She would search my (shared) room up to a couple times a week while I was in college.

It got to the point that my cousin knew to follow along if I immediately changed the topic because I hear the click of another phone getting picked up. I would set up my underwear and sock drawers in specific ways so I knew which days she searched the room. Sometimes, I set up stuff for her to find (a fake love note) because it would stop her from searching more. Even after I moved out, she would go on my library account and check which books I was reading to see what I was doing in life. A pregnancy rumor was started that way because I was studying to help one of my friends in the delivery room.

I begged her to respect my privacy and to just talk with me but she refused. If we had trust and open communication, she would have found out that I had never done drugs, didn’t drink till I was 21 and still in small quantities, my crazy behavior was study at coffee shops with classmates, and that my then boyfriend and I were very safe in everything we did.

Now, due to that and other things, I don’t tell her about anything personal. I have not told her about the long term relationship I’m in, where I live, anything serious going on in life, etc. Instead, she searches online, stalks through our personal and professional profiles, and finds information that was stolen and sold by hackers. When I was recently followed by a photographer, I didn’t know if it was a private investigator that she might have hired or someone I needed to be scared of.

So NO, it is not ok for parents to snoop through their children’s stuff. It is crossing a boundary and destroying trust. Instead, parents need to build the trust between themselves and their children, even if it means getting outside help. Otherwise, you are treating your child the same way prison wardens treat prisoners.

Well, not so much a lawyer, but….

I heard this story 35 years ago, told by a highly respected prosecutor about a case someone else in his office handled.

The case involved a murder charge but the body of the victim had never been found. Instead, the prosecution relied on circumstantial evidence to prove that the victim had in fact been killed. Nonetheless, the evidence, according to this prosecutor, was overwhelming and proved convincingly that the defendant committed the crime and disposed of the body.

The defense case focused on the lack of a body, hoping to create reasonable doubt in the jury’s mind about the prosecutor’s whole theory.

In this particular state, the prosecutor makes a closing argument, followed by the defense, followed by a rebuttal closing argument by the prosecutor to address points raised by the defense.

In his first argument, the prosecutor laid out the evidence, piece by piece in such a forceful and convincing fashion that the jury sat mesmerized, as he described it, “noddin’ and bobbin’” their heads in agreement. When he was finished, he confidently sat down.

When it was the defense attorney’s turn, after a few introductory remarks, he proclaimed “Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, having heard the prosecutor’s argument, you may be thinking that this is a slam-dunk case and my client is guilty. But there is one piece of evidence that the prosecutor didn’t and couldn’t produce: The body of the alleged victim. Well, the reason why he couldn’t produce the body is because there is no victim. And I am going to prove that to you.”

At that point, the defense attorney stopped, then pointing to the door, said “ladies and gentlemen, in the next thirty seconds, the alleged “victim” (using air quotes) is going to walk through that door!” He then walked back to his seat.

The prosecutor broke out in a sweat, thinking that his case just went down the tubes. But after about 30 seconds, he sighed in relief when no one walked through the door.

The defense attorney then continued: “Now ladies and gentleman, you have heard the judge instruct you that you must find that the prosecution has proved each and every element beyond a reasonable doubt in order to find my client guilty. Up until this time, you may have felt he succeeded. But when I announced that the alleged victim was going to walk through the door, each and every one of you WATCHED THAT DOOR! In fact, all the courtroom staff WATCHED THE DOOR! Not only that, the PROSECUTOR HIMSELF WATCHED THE DOOR. Now you tell me how anyone in this courtroom could claim there is no reasonable doubt that my client murdered the victim when EACH AND EVERYONE IN THE COURTROOM TURNED AND WATCHED THE DOOR!”

He then sat down.

The prosecutor, a bit flummoxed, got up for his rebuttal and did his best to convince the jury that the evidence nonetheless proved the defendant’s guilt.

The jury went out to deliberate but within 20 minutes announced they had a verdict. When the court asked the foreman to read the verdict, he confidently announced “GUILTY!” Each of the jurors was then polled and confirmed that they too had voted to convict.

As was permitted in some states, the judge invited the jurors back to chambers and permitted them to discuss their experience with the attorneys. Of course, the defense attorney and even the prosecutor were anxious to know how they so quickly reached a verdict without a body to prove the killing. The defense attorney asked in a respectful manner, “Didn’t the fact that all of you, as well as the courtroom staff, and even the judge and the prosecutor turned to watch the door mean you had some level of doubt in your minds about whether a murder even occurred?” The jury foreman spoke up. “Yes, you’re right that each of us turned to watch the door. And we couldn’t help but notice that the court’s staff also fixed their eyes on it, along with the judge and even the prosecutor. But we also couldn’t help noticing that there was one person who didn’t turn to watch the door and that was your client.”

I should add that the prosecutor who told this story was Michael Turpin, who was the Attorney General of Oklahoma when he spoke in 1983 at the Career Prosecutors School of the National District Attorneys Association at the University of Houston. He gave the best lecture I ever heard as a prosecutor and I’ve attended hundreds since then.

The most dangerous man

Vietnamese Pork with Orange Juice and Cilantro

Vietnamese Pork Chops
Vietnamese Pork Chops

Yield: 5 to 6 servings

Ingredients

Pork

  • 1 (2 1/2 pound) loin of pork, center cut, trimmed of most but not all the fat
  • 20 small cloves garlic, peeled
  • Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper
  • 1/3 cup chopped cilantro stalks
  • 1 1/2 cups chicken broth
  • 4 bay leaves
  • 4 whole allspice

Sauce

  • 1 tablespoon unsalted butter
  • 1 tablespoon fat skimmed from the pan juices
  • 3 green onions, trimmed and finely chopped, with most of the green parts
  • 2 1/2 tablespoons lime juice
  • 1/2 teaspoon dry mustard
  • Juice of 2 large oranges
  • 1/4 cup finely chopped cilantro stalks

Instructions

  1. Heat the oven to 350 degrees F and set the rack in the middle of the oven.
  2. Make 20 incisions all over the pork with the point of a sharp knife and insert the cloves of garlic.
  3. Season the meat with salt and pepper to taste.
  4. Set the meat on a rack in a roasting pan and sprinkle the top thickly with the 1/3 cup chopped cilantro stalks.
  5. Put the broth, bay leaves and allspice in the roasting pan, and cover the pan tightly with foil so that no steam will escape.
  6. Cook the meat until it is very tender but not falling apart, so that you can slice it easily — about 3 1/2 to 4 hours.
  7. Set the meat aside on a warm dish for about 15 minutes.
  8. Slice the meat, cover with foil and keep warm in the oven.
  9. Meanwhile, degrease the broth.
  10. Put the butter and 1 tablespoon of the skimmed fat in a saucepan and heat.
  11. Add the onions and 1 tablespoon of the lime juice and fry gently until soft.
  12. Add the remaining 1 1/2 tablespoons lime juice plus the skimmed pan juices (be sure to scrape the bottom of the pan well for all the scraps adhering to it), cover the pan and cook the sauce for about 5 minutes.
  13. Add the mustard, orange juice and the 1/4 cup chopped cilantro stalks.
  14. Cook, uncovered, for about 4 minutes longer.
  15. Pour some of the sauce over the meat and pass the rest in a separate dish.
Vietnamese Pork Chops 2
Vietnamese Pork Chops 2

A very good perspective.

matters
matters

Look at ancient China and take the necessary precautions.

"Youse guys in the United States are really flooring the gas petal so that you can speed off the edge of a cliff. I don't know whether to laugh or cry."

 

 

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Robert Nicoette

I sometimes wish people would have more respect for the members of the Baby Boom generation. I am 70 years old, and I was born in1955. I have lived a very interesting and fulfilling life. I have, for instance, done everything from hitchhiking across the country coast to coast when I was 22, to working in a shipyard, and working in a hospital on premature babies when I was older. In working so any types of jobs and doing so many different things, I, naturally have had to frequently face and eventually overcome many various fears. There are few fears, however, that I have faced that have scared
me as much as having to watch and take care of my 94-year-old half-demented mother.
I don’t have to watch her a lot either. She lives with my brother and his wife, who is an RN. I help them, by staying a few hours with her when they need a break, or I take her to the hospital when she needs another round of skin cancer treatments. Our local government will not pay for an aide to do these things, and even if they did, my sister jn law probably wouldn’t trust them to do a decent job…So, I end up taking her places or sitting and talking to her while she falls asleep in a chair.
The thing is, remember, that I am 70 myself. When I help her out of my car, I am
as likely to get hurt as she is. AND I have been helping my mom and dad, he died 3 years ago, for the past 20 years! Not only is this difficult but add to this the fact that II have to drive a half hour each way to get to her on some of the very narrow country roads of upstate New York, which can and does frequently have some of the worst winter weather in the world! To be honest, just watching her even once a week at my age can be a bit exhausting.
Yet. if I ever mention to any friends of mine that this REALLY is a burden sometimes, people look at me like I have 2 heads and tell ME how much they miss and loved their parents and sometimes actually get teary eyed. They then start telling me how lucky I am and imply that I’m some sort of creep because I should be ecstatic that they are still alive.
OK, maybe they are partly right, no, obviously they are.. It’s just that after doing this for so long it’s getting to the point where I can’t do it too much longer anymore…
It’s not just me, either, most of my friends are doing the same things, filling in for a more and more increasingly useless government.

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