We are just a group of retired spooks that discuss things that you’ll not find anywhere else. It makes us unique. Take a look around. Learn a thing or two.
Well there is this guy in China that is obsessed with building mouse and rat traps. He’s also a kind of inventor / mad scientist or evil genus. And he has posted his magnificent machines on the internet for others to replicate. I, as an inventor / engineer, myself find these devices very interesting and fascinating. Let’s look at some here, and take note that I broke this article down into two posts. This is part two. Part one is HERE.
Who says that the Chinese cannot innovate?
It looks to me that they are innovating with aggression quite readily right here, and the results speak for themselves. Note that the videos are not for the squeamish. Rats and mice get trapped and some die. It’s sad, but it’s life, and for those of you who have lived a sheltered life, these critters carry illness and can hurt your family. Not to mention that they also can carry the COVID-19 to your home. Yikes!
Important note about the videos
Please kindly note that the videos are rather large (compared to a picture), and might require some time to load. In this post most videos are under 1M and so should load quickly, though two are larger. One is 3M and the other 5M. They might take some time to load. If you are having trouble watching the videos, just wait. Allow them to load. If things seem to have stopped, just reload you page and everything should be just fine afterwards.
Learn to swim.
This is rather simple. There are two diving boards with a small tunnel upon each that prevents the mouse from seeing the danger below. When it reaches the end of the paper tunnel, it’s weight causes the entire tunnel to tumble below into the pool of water. There the rat or mouse becomes trapped. As it cannot climb the slick sides of the PE box.
Other improvements might be to substitute bleach for water. That way, the vermin that are piggie-backed on the hair of the rats / mice are killed once they take the splash into the container. You know, with the COVID-19 all around us, special care must be taken to control the virus as well as the animals that carry it.
Trapped in a bottle.
This is pretty ingenious, and relies on the weight of the mouse to trap it.
The only way out of the bottle is through the opening. The thing is that when the mouse goes to the opening, it’s weight causes the bottle to pivot, and thus it moves in such a way as to block the exit from the bottle. Overall, it’s pretty ingenious.
Electrical chop sticks.
This is a shocking video. The shock on the metal bands on the chop stick isn’t enough to kill the mice or rats, but it is enough to startle them. In earlier videos a voltage generator was used to generate 6000 volts, but here you can just use wall outlet 120 volts AC current. It’s enough to shock, but not to kill.
The thing is that when the mouse is shocked, it falls off the chop sticks and into a nice pail of water. Splash! Except that once you are in the pail, you just cannot get out. And as such the mice keep on trying to climb onto the floating blocks for safety.
Under the blue balls.
This trap makes use of deception. The rats climb up to the edge of the pail. Looking down, they see a nice tray of delicious food on a flat blue surface. The only thing is that the flat surface is not what it appears to be. It’s a lie. And when the rats jump down, they do not land on top of the flat surface. No. They fall through into the liquid water below.
And after a few hours of rat-paddling (a rat version of doggie-paddling) they succumb to exhaustion and die.
Ya just can’t get out.
So many interesting things about this video.
For starters, notice how the rat is using it’s tail to hold on to the handle at the edge . Notice how deceptively easy it appears to be to get out.
Notice that if the white metal wall in the back is positively charged, and the bowl is negatively charged, that when only one rat closes the circuits all the rats get electrocuted.
Rat race track to nowhere.
Here we have foot tied to the hamster wheel. The smell of the delicious food attracts the rats / mice. As they try to get close to the food, the wheel moves and eventually, no matter how hard they try, they eventually end up falling into the water below.
It’s simple and ingenious.
Get a cat
Of course, if you have a rodent problem, the best solution is a cat. Humans and cats have had sustainable living arrangements for thousands of years. It’s no error and no mistake that cats are worshiped in ancient Egypt and today in Turkey. They can control the varmint problem and really go a long way to prevent disease and sickness.
If you have a rodent emergency, who are you going to call?
You go and get a cat.
Final Thoughts
I do love inventing and finding answers to problems. The rat and the mouse are creatures that can bring in disease and pestilence. As such they need to be controlled so that they will not bring those problems to your home. There are various ways to do this with the time-honored spring-trap cage or board being the most time-honored and popular. But there are other methods as well, and the new innovations seen herein are pretty spectacular, don’t you agree?
Do you want more…
I do hope that you enjoyed this post. I have others and other posts on a wide and diverse selection of subjects within my Happiness / Life index here…
You’ll not find any big banners or popups here talking about cookies and privacy notices. There are no ads on this site (aside from the hosting ads – a necessary evil). Functionally and fundamentally, I just don’t make money off of this blog. It is NOT monetized. Finally, I don’t track you because I just don’t care to.
Please kindly help me out in this effort. There is a lot of effort that goes into this disclosure. I could use all the financial support that anyone could provide. Thank you very much.
Well there is this guy in China that is obsessed with building mouse and rat traps. He’s also a kind of inventor / mad scientist or evil genus. And he has posted his magnificent machines on the internet for others to replicate. I, as an inventor / engineer, myself find these devices very interesting and fascinating. Let’s look at some here, and take note that I broke this article down into two posts. This is part one.
Who says that the Chinese cannot innovate?
It looks to me that they are innovating with aggression quite readily right here, and the results speak for themselves. Note that the videos are not for the squeamish. Rats and mice get trapped and some die. It’s sad, but it’s life, and for those of you who have lived a sheltered life, these critters carry illness and can hurt your family. Not to mention that they also can carry the COVID-19 to your home. Yikes!
Important note about the videos
Please kindly note that the videos are rather large (compared to a picture), and might require some time to load. In this post most videos are under 1M and so should load quickly, though two are larger. One is 3M and the other 5M. They might take some time to load. If you are having trouble watching the videos, just wait. Allow them to load. If things seem to have stopped, just reload you page and everything should be just fine afterwards.
Chemical warfare
Here, this inventor added his own special mixture of glue and putty. I suppose there are many ways to do this, from adding “crazy glue” to peanut-butter, or making up your own custom glue trap. It’s basically some form of tar that the rats get stuck in. I also think that he might have sprayed some kind of anti-roach spray on top and the rats that cannot get away eventually have neurological damage and become too weak to pry themselves away. Check it all out.
Electrical snare
This trap is nothing more than a “blue light” “bug zapper” reconfigured to catch rats. The electrical grid is laid out in three circles. One is positive, the next negative, and the one after that is positive and so forth. THey are hooked up to the high voltage source, which depending on the store-bough bug zapper this could be from 3000 volts to 6000 volts.
So what happens is when one rat stands on one grid and touches another grid, the electrical circuit is closed and the rat gets a fierce does of electricity.
Collapsing membrane trap
Here is a “one off” device. It is useful for catching one rat at a time.
A balloon (in red) is inside a big plastic trash can. Above it is a standard child’s play ball. and that ball is holding up a mesh screen from a stand fan. When a rat gets inside the blue trash can, it tries to leave, but it’s claws cannot climb the slick plastic surface, so it claws into the red balloon. With a great shock and surprise, the red balloon bursts and the cage falls down, trapping the rat.
Dead end without escape.
This is a mechanical trap. The empty beer cans (it has to be beer cans, why would anyone drink anything else?), are all on a rod, and permitted to spin. There are two ramps for the rats to climb up on. As you can see, once the rats get in, there really isn’t much of a way to get out. They become stuck inside the box.
The pipe of no return.
Ah… the pipe of no return. You enter the pipe because you smell the delicious food inside. You move forward, deeper and deeper into the pipe. You see the delicious food right in front of you. All you need to do is slide down that stray. No problem, right?
And then, there you are. You fell right smack into the middle of a pile of delicious food. You eat your fill, and then your other rat neighbor falls on top of you, and then another, and then another… and another.
Not mechanically inclined? Get a cat.
It is well known that cats are hunters, but few people ever see just how great they are in catching rats and mice. I have a number of videos on this, and it is astounding. These kitties are killing machines, I’ll tell you what.
To paraphrase a half-remembered quote from “Reese” from the movie “Terminator”.
He won't stop.
He doesn't know compassion, or kindness, or empathy.
He will come after you, over and over again, until he hunts you down, and kills you.
For mass capture attempts.
Here’s an improved version of the above pipe mechanism. This one seems to be of much easier construction (begin a tube and all), and allows a far greater number of rats and vermin to be caught. Outstanding design. It’s got all the elements of a great design.
Simple construction.
Cheap.
Easy to make.
Effective.
Easy to empty.
No moving parts.
No electricity.
Conclusion
"The Chinese cannot innovate."
I get a lot of disinformation about China all over the internet. It is said so often that everyone believes it. It’s simply not true. China is a nation of hard-working nerds, designers and engineers, and it’s no mistake that most of the world’s factories are inside of China.
If you have any doubts about innovation, then look at the large numbers of patents out of China right now, the amazing network of high-seed trains, and the commonplace high technology, from 5G, AI, robotics to infra-camera robotic drones. China is around ten years more advanced than the USA and accelerating quickly.
This is just a glimpse at some “backyard engineering”. It’s not just this farmer. It’s everywhere…
Everywhere.
Do you have a better way to catch and snare rats? I’d like to hear your ideas, and a video if possible.
Do you want more…
If you enjoyed this post, you might want to check out my Happiness Index, here…
You’ll not find any big banners or popups here talking about cookies and privacy notices. There are no ads on this site (aside from the hosting ads – a necessary evil). Functionally and fundamentally, I just don’t make money off of this blog. It is NOT monetized. Finally, I don’t track you because I just don’t care to.
Please kindly help me out in this effort. There is a lot of effort that goes into this disclosure. I could use all the financial support that anyone could provide. Thank you very much.
Well, it's gonna be the year of the rat in a few days. What would be more appropriate than to discuss RAT lifestyle in urban centers?
On July 9th, 1968, eight white mice were placed into a strange box at the National Institute of Health in Bethesda, Maryland.
Maybe “box” isn’t the right word for it; the space was more like a room, known as “Universe 25”, and it was large. It was about the size of a small storage unit.
The mice themselves were bright and healthy, hand-picked from the institute’s breeding stock.
They were given the run of the place, which had everything they might need: food, water, climate control, hundreds of nesting boxes to choose from, and a lush floor of shredded paper and ground corn cob. It was a mouse paradise. It was perfect in every way.
Of course, this is a far cry from a wild mouse’s life. There were no predators, no cats, no traps, no long winters. It was even better than your average lab mouse’s life. Which, of course, is constantly interrupted by white-coated humans with scalpels or syringes.
The residents of “Universe 25” were mostly left alone, save for one man who would peer at them from above, and his team of similarly interested assistants. They must have thought they were the luckiest mice in the world.
They couldn’t have known the truth: that within a few years, they and their descendants would all be dead.
John Bumpass Calhoun
The man who played mouse-God and came up with this doomed universe was named John Bumpass Calhoun.
The only adversity: space limitation – the size of the habitat was predicted to host 3840 mice.
The first utopia.
In 1947, to keep a close eye on his charges, Calhoun constructed a quarter-acre “rat city” behind his house, and filled it with breeding pairs. He expected to be able to house 5,000 rats there, but over the two years he observed the city, the population never exceeded 150. At that point, the rats became too stressed to reproduce. They started acting weirdly, rolling dirt into balls rather than digging normal tunnels. They hissed and fought.
This fascinated Calhoun—if the rats had everything they needed, what was keeping them from overrunning his little city, just as they had all of Baltimore? Why couldn’t they thrive in a rodent utopia?
The subsequent utopias.
Intrigued, Calhoun built another, slightly bigger rat metropolis—this time in a barn, with ramps connecting several different rooms.
Then he redesigned the structure, and built another.
Then taking the lessons learned, he built another.
And another.
Then he built another and another, hopping between patrons that supported his research, and framing his work in terms of population: How many individuals could a rodent city hold without losing its collective mind?
The 1954 rodent utopia.
By 1954, he was working under the auspices of the National Institute of Mental Health, which gave him whole rooms to build his rodentopias. Some of these featured rats, while others focused on mice instead.
Like a rodent real estate developer, he incorporated ever-better amenities: climbable walls, food hoppers that could serve two dozen customers at once, lodging he described as “walk-up one-room apartments.”
A Video records of his experiments show Calhoun with a pleased smile and a pipe in his mouth, color-coded mice scurrying over his boots.
Still, at a certain point, each of these paradises collapsed.
“There could be no escape from the behavioral consequences of rising population density,”
-Calhoun wrote in an early paper.
The story of the 1968 “Universe 25” collapse.
It was a pattern that would not collapse. No matter how hard he tried. The final test confirmed this. Universe 25—the biggest, best mousetopia of all, built after a quarter century of research—failed to break this pattern.
In July 1968 four pairs of mice were introduced into the Utopian universe. The universe was a 9-foot (2.7 m) square metal pen with 54-inch-high (1.4 m) sides. Each side had four groups of four vertical, wire mesh "tunnels". The "tunnels" gave access to nesting boxes, food hoppers, and water dispensers. There was no shortage of food or water or nesting material. There were no predators. The only adversity was the limit on space.Initially the population grew rapidly, doubling every 55 days. The population reached 620 by day 315, after which the population growth dropped markedly. The last surviving birth was on day 600. This period between day 315 and day 600 saw a breakdown in social structure and in normal social behavior. Among the aberrations in behavior were the following:
- expulsion of young before weaning was complete,
- wounding of young,
- inability of dominant males to maintain the defense of their territory and females,
- aggressive behavior of females,
- passivity of non-dominant males with increased attacks on each other which were not defended against. After day 600, the social breakdown continued and the population declined toward extinction. During this period females ceased to reproduce. Their male counterparts withdrew completely, never engaging in courtship or fighting. They ate, drank, slept, and groomed themselves – all solitary pursuits. Sleek, healthy coats and an absence of scars characterized these males. They were named "the beautiful ones".
- Description in Wikipedia [2014.05.25]
In late October, the first litter of mouse pups was born.
After that, the population doubled every two months—20 mice, then 40, then 80. The babies grew up and had babies of their own. Families became dynasties, carving out and holding down the best in-cage real estate.
By August of 1969, the population numbered 620.
Then, as always, things took a turn. Such rapid growth put too much pressure on the mouse way of life.
As new generations reached adulthood, many couldn’t find mates, or places in the social order—the mouse equivalent of a spouse and a job. Spinster females retreated to high-up nesting boxes, where they lived alone, far from the family neighborhoods. Washed-up males gathered in the center of the Universe, near the food, where they fretted, languished, and attacked each other. Meanwhile, overextended mouse moms and dads began moving nests constantly to avoid their unsavory neighbors. They also took their stress out on their babies, kicking them out of the nest too early, or even losing them during moves.
Population growth slowed way down again. Most of the adolescent mice retreated even further from societal expectations, spending all their time eating, drinking, sleeping and grooming, and refusing to fight or to even attempt to mate.
These individuals were forever changed—when Calhoun’s colleague attempted to transplant some of them to more normal situations, they didn’t remember how to do anything.
In May of 1970, just under 2 years into the study, the last baby was born, and the population entered a swan dive of perpetual senescence. It’s unclear exactly when the last resident of Universe 25 perished, but it was probably sometime in 1973.
Paradise couldn’t even last half a decade.
The periods or cycles…
In a unique experiment that took years to complete, Doctor Calhoun used white mice to study population growth and its effects on individual behavior.
In this sixteen cell mouse habitat, utopian conditions of nutrition, comfort and housing were provided for the potential population of over three thousand mice. […] Factors which normally control population growth such as predation by owls and cats were eliminated. Transmissible disease were also reduced. In effect, the mouse universe simulated the present situation of the continually expanding population of humans.
To see how Dr Calhoun’s mouse universe grew, we use the population graph.
Phase A – The phase of social adjustment (strive period)
Within the first one hundred days, the mice went through the period Dr Calhoun called, “strive”. This was the period of adjustment. Territories were established and nests were made.
(1) Considerable social turmoil among the 8 mice until they became adjusted to each other and to their expanded surroundings.
(2) Territories were established and nests were made.
Phase B – The phase of most rapid growth (exploit period)
The next period lasted about two hundred and fifty days. The population of the mice doubled every sixty days. This was called the “exploit” period. The use of resources become unequal. Although each living unit was identical in structure and opportunities, more food and water was consumed in some areas.
As the population increased, most mice associated eating and drinking with the presence of others. And crowding developed in certain units.
(1) Population doubling time is about 55 days
(1) Social organization established – frequency of litters proportional to social dominance
(1) The births tended to be concentrated in some sets of nest boxes (dominant males), while others (non-dominant males – withdrawn males = WM) had few or none.
(2) Although each living unit was identical in structure and opportunities, more food and water was consumed in certain areas. As the population increased, most mice associated eating and drinking with the presence of others. And crowding developed in certain units.
(1) At the end of this phase there were 3 times as many socially immature mice as there were socially established older ones.
Phase C – The stagnation phase (equilibrium period)
The third period, consisting of three hundred days, found the population of mice leveling off. This was called the “equilibrium” period. Dr Calhoun noticed that the newer generations of young were inhibited, since most space was already socially defined.
At this time, some unusual behavior become noticeable.
Violence become prevalent. Excess males strived for acceptance, were rejected and withdrew. Huddling together, they would exhibit brief flurries of violence amongst themselves. The effects of violence became increasingly visible.
Certain individuals became targets of repeated attacks. These individuals would have badly chewed and scarred tails.
But the trajectory of rat utopia soon sobered Calhoun. The eager rodents did not seem capable of regulating their population size in the long-term. As they reproduced and the pens overflowed, Calhoun noted that male rates became aggressive, moving in gangs and attacking females and young. Some became exclusively homosexual. Female rats, meanwhile, abandoned their infants. The crowded mice had lost the ability to coexist. One of Calhoun’s assistants renamed the “rat utopia” “rodent hell.”
-Space Cadets and Rat Utopias
Other young mice growing into adulthood exhibited an even different type of behavior. Dr Calhoun called these individuals “the beautiful ones”. Their time was devoted solely to grooming, eating and sleeping. They never involved themselves with others, engaged in sex, nor would they fight. All appeared as a beautiful exhibit of the species with keen, alert eyes and a healthy well-kept body. These mice, however, could not cope with unusual stimuli.
Though they looked inquisitive they were, in fact, very stupid.
All of this, however, led to a drop in mating, and the birthrate soon fell to a third of its former level. A social imbalance also took place among the mice:
One-third emerged as socially dominant.
The other two-thirds turned out less socially adept than their forbearers.
As bonding skills diminished among the mice, Universe 25 went into a slow but irreversible decline.
By Day 315, behavior disparities between males of high and low status
became more pronounced. Those at the bottom of the pecking order found
themselves spurned from females and withdrew from mating altogether.
Having no roles to fulfill within the society of mice, these outcast
males wandered apart from the larger groups to eat and sleep alone — and
sometimes fight among one another.
The alpha males, by contrast, became more aggressive and pugnacious, often launching into violence with no clear provocation or motive. At times, these males would roam around and indiscriminately rape other mice, regardless of gender.
Meanwhile, the beta males — those ranked between the aggressive alphas and outcast omegas — grew timid and inert, and often wound up being the passive recipients of violence. In several instances, bloodbaths ended with a cannibalistic feast for the victors.
(1) Population doubling time is about 145 days
(1) The male ability to defend territory declines
(1) The nursing females become aggressive, essentially taking over the role of the territorial males. This aggression generalized to their own young who were attacked, wounded, and forced to leave home several days before normal weaning.
(2) At this time, some unusual behavior became noticeable. Violence became prevalent. Excess males strived for acceptance, were rejected and withdrew. Social disorder became visible – a WM would attack a passive WM, who in turn would attack another WM. Certain individuals became targets of repeated attacks. These individuals would have badly chewed and scarred tails.
(4) Socially withdrawn male 29 makes a pan-sexual approach to male 16 who he recently saw attacked. Note how one assumes the female role. Males exhibit sexual behavior towards other males; you have rat homosexuality. They begin mounting the young.
(1) Incidence of conception decline and resorption of fetuses increases and dissolution of maternal behavior is observed. This lead to non-reproducing females.
(1) By midway in phase C, essentially all young were prematurely rejected by their mothers. They started independent life without having developed adequate effective bonds.
(1) Considering that there were 256 nest retreat sites in the 16 cells, one would not expect shelter to be a limiting factor until the population exceeded 3840. Due to the tendency of many animals to choose to crowd together in numbers in excess of 15 per nest site, at the peak population size of 2200 mice, 20% of all nest sites were usually unoccupied. Thus, there were always opportunities for females to select an unoccupied space for rearing young if they so chose.
(1) Social disorder – a WM would attack a passive WM, who in turn would attack another
Phase D – The death phase (die period)
With male mice abandoning their traditional roles in Universe 25, the females were left to fend for their nests. Consequently, many females adopted more aggressive forms of behavior, which would sometimes spill over into violence toward their young.
Others would refrain from motherly duties altogether, banishing their unraised litters and withdrawing from further mating, resulting in serious consequences:
In some compartments, the infant mortality rate topped 90 percent.
Calhoun named this the “stagnation phase,” alternately known as the “equilibrium period.”
He attributed the overly aggressive and passive behavioral patterns
to the breakdown of social roles and rampant over-clustering.
Dr Calhoun called the last period the “die” phase, leading the population into extinction. Although the mouse utopia could house 3000, the population began to decline at 2200.
By the 560th day, the population increase had ceased altogether as
the mortality rate hovered at 100 percent. This marked the start of the
“death phase” — aka the “die period” — in which the rodent utopia slid
toward extinction. Amidst the violence, hostility and lack of mating, a
younger generation of mice reached maturity, having never been exposed
to examples of normal, healthy relations. With no concept of mating,
parenting or marking territory, this generation of mice spent all of
their waking hours eating, drinking and grooming themselves.
In reference to their perfected, unruffled appearances, Calhoun
called these mice the “beautiful ones.” Living in seclusion from the
other mice, they were spared the violence and conflict that waged in the
crowded areas, yet made no social contributions.
According to Calhoun, the death phase consisted of two stages: the
“first death” and “second death.” The former was characterized by the
loss of purpose in life beyond mere existence — no desire to mate, raise
young or establish a role within society. This first death was
represented by the lackadaisical lives of the beautiful ones, whereas
the second death was marked by the literal end of life and the
extinction of Universe 25.
(1) Population increase abruptly ceased on day 560 after colonization.
(1) Incidence of pregnancies decline very rapidly with no young surviving.
(1) The last conception took place about day 920
(1) Male counterparts to non-reproducing females were named the “beautiful ones”. They never engaged in sexual approaches toward females, and they never engaged in fighting. Their behavioral repertoire became largely confined to eating, drinking, sleeping and grooming.
(1) The capacity for reproduction terminated.
(3) The last thousand animals born never learned to develop the social behaviors, they never learned to be aggressive, which is necessary in defense of home sites; not engaging in any stressful activity, and only paying attention to themselves, they groomed themselves well so they looked like very fine specimens.
(2) Other young mice growing into adulthood exhibited an even different type of behaviour. Dr Calhoun called these individuals “the beautiful ones”. Their time was devoted solely to grooming, eating and sleeping. They never involved themselves with others, engaged in sex, nor would they fight. All appeared as a beautiful exhibit of the species with keen, alert eyes and a healthy well-kept body. These mice, however, could not cope with unusual stimuli. Though they looked inquisitive they were, in fact, very stupid.
In the shift from the equilibrium to the die phase, each animal became less aware of associates, despite all animals being pushed closer together. Dr Calhoun concluded that the mice could not effectively deal with the repeated contact of so many individuals. The evidence of violence increased to the point where most individuals had had their tails bitten to some degree.
Gradually, the mice that refused to mate or engage in society came to
outnumber those that formed gangs, raped and plundered, and fed off
their own. The last known conception in Universe 25 occurred on Day 920,
at which point the population was capped at 2,200, well short of the
enclosure’s 3,000 capacity.
An endless supply of food, water and other resources were still there
for the mice, but it didn’t matter. The behavior sink had set in, and
there was no stopping Universe 25 from careening to its self-made
demise. Soon enough, there was not a single living mouse left in the
enclosure..
The results of the study were published.
Calhoun saw in his rats the decline of future society, evidence that inner city crowding led to rioting, crime, malaise, and political radicalism: the obsessions of postwar American academics. He wrote up his results in a Scientific American article that he titled “Population Density and Social Pathology.” The article became one of the most widely-cited papers in psychology. Like Pavlov’s dogs and Skinner’s pigeons, Calhoun’s rats became exemplars for human behavior. His experiments suggested a density beyond which rat society disintegrated, and—to Calhoun and his colleagues, at least—the parallels with human society were clear.
- Space Cadets and Rat Utopias
In 1973, Calhoun published his Universe 25 research as “Death Squared: The Explosive Growth and Demise of a Mouse Population.” It is, to put it lightly, an intense academic reading experience.
He quotes liberally from the Book of Revelation, italicizing certain words for emphasis (e.g. “to kill with the sword and with famine and with pestilence and by wild beasts”).
He gave his claimed discoveries catchy names—the mice who forgot how to mate were “the beautiful ones”’ rats who crowded around water bottles were “social drinkers”; the overall societal breakdown was the “behavioral sink.” In other words, it was exactly the kind of diction you’d expect from someone who spent his entire life perfecting the art of the mouse dystopia.
Most frightening are the parallels he draws between rodent and human society. “I shall largely speak of mice,” he begins, “but my thoughts are on man.”
Both species, he explains, are vulnerable to two types of death—that of the spirit and that of the body. Even though he had removed physical threats, doing so had forced the residents of Universe 25 into a spiritually unhealthy situation, full of crowding, over-stimulation, and contact with various mouse strangers.
To a society experiencing the rapid growth of cities—and reacting, in various ways, quite poorly—this story seemed familiar.
Senators brought it up in meetings. It showed up in science fiction and comic books. Even Tom Wolfe, never lost for description, used Calhounian terms to describe New York City, calling all of Gotham a “behavioral sink.”
Trying to discover solutions.
Convinced that he had found a real problem, Calhoun quickly began using his mouse models to try and fix it.
If mice and humans weren’t afforded enough physical space, he thought, perhaps they could make up for it with conceptual space—creativity, artistry, and the type of community not built around social hierarchies.
His later Universes were designed to be spiritually as well as physically utopic, with rodent interactions carefully controlled to maximize happiness (he was particularly fascinated by some early rats who had created an innovative form of tunneling, where they rolled dirt into balls).
He extrapolated this, too, to human concerns, becoming an early supporter of environmental design and H.G. Wells’s hypothetical “World Brain,” an international information network that was a clear precursor to the internet.
Failed Salvage Attempt and Concluding Observations
Before the rodent utopia imploded entirely, Calhoun removed some of the beautiful ones to see whether they would live more productive lives if released into a new society, free of social strife and carnage.
Placing these mice in a fresh setting with few pre-existing residents — a scenario similar to that which greeted the initial pairs placed in Universe 25 — he expected the beautiful ones to awake from their asocial haze and answer nature’s call to populate the barren environment.
However, the relocated mice showed no signs of change from their
earlier behavioral patterns. Refusing to mate or even interact among
their new peers, the reclusive mice eventually died of natural causes,
and the fledgling society folded without a single new birth.
In Calhoun’s view, the rise and fall of Universe 25 proved five basic points about mice, as well as humans:
The mouse is a simple creature, but it must develop the skills for
courtship, child-rearing, territorial defense and personal role
fulfillment on the domestic and communal front. If such skills fail to
develop, the individual will neither reproduce nor find a productive
role within society.
As with mice, all species will grow older and gradually die out.
There is nothing to suggest human society isn’t prone to the same
developments that led to the demise of Universe 25.
If the number of qualified individuals exceeds the number of
openings in society, chaos and alienation will be the inevitable
outcomes.
Individuals raised under the latter conditions will lack any
relation to the real world. Physiological fulfillment will be their only
drive in life.
Just as mice thrive on a set of complex behaviors, the concern for
others developed in post-industrial human skills and understandings is
vital to man’s continuance as a species. The loss of these attributes
within a civilization could lead to its collapse.
The public reaction.
But the public held on hard to his earlier work—as Ramsden and Adams put it, “everyone want[ed] to hear the diagnosis, no one want[ed] to hear the cure.”
Gradually, Calhoun lost attention, standing, and funding.
In 1986, he was forced to retire from the National Institute of Mental Health. Nine years later, he died.
His influence
There was one person who paid attention to his more optimistic experiments, a writer named Robert C. O’Brien.
In the late ’60s, O’Brien allegedly visited Calhoun’s lab, met the man trying to build a true and creative rodent paradise, and took note of the Frisbee on the door, the scientists’ own attempt “to help when things got too stressful,” as Calhoun put it.
Soon after, O’Brien wrote Ms. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH—a story about rats who, having escaped from a lab full of blundering humans, attempt to build their own utopia.
Next time, maybe we should put the rats in charge.
My story.
I knew about this study from the 1970’s when I was a boy. My father had a “Year in Review” series of books that accompanied the Encyclopedia Britannia collection that he had acquired in the 1960’s. These volumes would come to our door, and would be jam-packed with information and trivia of the year previous.
I would sit on the Lazy-boy chair and go through these big massive volumes and read the articles there. As such, I too, was influenced by this study.
I even brought it up for discussion in my classroom. But no one cared. They were too interested with “Johnathan Livingston Seagull” and the television cartoon special about a boy and his dog (which brought forth the hit song “Me and my arrow“.) The rest of my classmates were too worried about Climate Cooling and the coming great freeze to worry about the implications of this study.
Years passed.
Then I read an article that rewoke this narrative.
The Article that re-woke and rekindled my interest in this study.
Then I read this article titled “Article – The Doomed Mouse Utopia That Inspired the ‘Rats of NIMH’” which was posted on January 8, 2020.
Give a buncha rodents all the food, bedding, water, and stress-free
living you can give them and they should breed like..well..rats. And have a population boom, right? Maybe not.
Such rapid growth put too much pressure on the mouse way of life. As new generations reached adulthood, many couldn’t find mates, or places in the social order—the mouse equivalent of a spouse and a job. Spinster females retreated to high-up nesting boxes, where they lived alone, far from the family neighborhoods. Washed-up males gathered in the center of the Universe, near the food, where they fretted, languished, and attacked each other. Meanwhile, overextended mouse moms and dads began moving nests constantly to avoid their unsavory neighbors. They also took their stress out on their babies, kicking them out of the nest too early, or even losing them during moves.
Some fascinating parallels to be had in just that one paragraph.
To quote Judge Dredd “You put that many rats in one cage and something’s gonna happen.”
The apparent message is that mammals ain’t cut out for being put into large metropolises. Even when you give them all the welfare food and shelter they want, they’ll still go bad.
But, men are not rodents.
Yet look at any major city and you’ll see that the segments of the population that have everything handed to them seem to be the most troubled and troublesome.
Moral of the story?
Stay out of enormous cities.
Having just returned from a week in one of the biggest i can tell you with utter sincerity that nothing reinvigorated my mind and spirit more than being able to have room to stretch both physically and metaphorically. Away from the restricting confines of mandatory recycling, absurd gun laws, high sales taxes, etc, I felt I could breathe easier again and feel in control of my life.
Big cities, in my experience, are superior in providing only three things: money, women, and food. High paying jobs, endless varieties of women, and a dizzying array of types of food…
...that's about all I can recommend for the big cities.
But what do I get out of smaller venues, such as where I live? Relatively high levels of freedom, or, at least, qualities that I equate with freedom.
Men or mice…put too many in one place and bad stuff happens. Don’t be there.
Conclusions by “experts”
All conclusions drawn by socialist (& state) scientists constantly connect extinction with overpopulation:
The conclusions drawn from this experiment were that when all available space is taken and all social roles filled, competition and the stresses experienced by the individuals will result in a total breakdown in complex social behaviors, ultimately resulting in the demise of the population.
- Wikipedia 2014.05.25
Overpopulation = Extinction
However in the Calhoun’s papers there are clear evidences that this is not so:
All of the available space was not taken, and there was areas devoid of rodents.
WM (Withdrawn Males) had no social roles so they withdrew from society. Thus they could not be counted as part of the overpopulation burden.
John Calhoun conclusions
The demise of a population contradicts prior knowledge which indicates that when a population declines to a few remnant groups, some individuals will reinitiate its growth.
This study disproves the idea that growth can be resumed once society collapses.
Dr. Halsey Marsden (1972) placed some mice from the mid-third of phase D into new universes at very low densities. All exhibited nearly total loss of capacity for developing a structured society or for engaging in the full repertoire of reproductive behaviors.
The idea that individuals can flee an overpopulated environment and start all over again and rebuild from scratch is false. Once society collapses it is over.
For an animal so simple as a mouse, the most complex behaviors involve the interrelated set of courtship, maternal care, territorial defense and hierarchical intragroup and intergroup social organization. When behaviors related to these functions fail to mature, there is no development of social organization and no reproduction. As in the case of my study reported above, all members or the population will age and eventually die. The species will die out. For an animal so complex as man, there is no logical reason why a comparable sequence of events should not also lead to species extinction.
For mice, society can simply stop reproducing and then die out.
For men, society can introduce dangerous technologies (WMD, robots, nuclear weapons, etc) and die out catastrophically.
If opportunities for role fulfillment fall far short of the demand by those capable of filling roles, and having expectations to do so, only violence and disruption of social organization can follow.
As the roles in society disappear, as the lines between gender and society disappear, social disruption WILL follow.
Individuals born under these circumstances will be so out of touch with reality as to be incapable even of alienation. Their most complex behaviors will become fragmented.
Acquisition, creation and utilization of ideas appropriate for life in a post-industrial cultural-conceptual-technological society will have been blocked.
Just as biological generativity in the mouse involves this species’ most complex behaviors, so does ideational generativity for man. Loss of these respective complex behaviors means death of the species.
John Calhoun’s collaborator’s conclusions
The larger the population, the less care a mother gives to her nest and young. This creates social unrest which will eventually result in the collapse of the society.
Non-academic conclusions
The principal factor is the lack of social education in the young.
This is due to the abundance of food and water and lack of predators.
They do not learn important skills.
The mechanism at work is there was no need to perform any actions to acquire resources and/or avoid danger. This creates a “soft” and “weak” rodent. The “strong” and “capable” rodents die out.
So the young have no opportunity to learn from the strong rodents. They learn from the weak rodents.
When confronted with danger, they do not know how to handle it. And many lose their lives.
A utopia is when one has everything, at any moment, for no expenditure.
But, utopia declines responsibility, effectiveness and awareness of social dependence.
This atrophying of these important factors, leads to self-extinction.
Contrarily, difficult conditions instigate better coping mechanisms for the population, leading to its growth, strengthening and reinforcement. [See S-nastu hypothesis i supercompensation]
Some wordy introspection…
Perhaps it is the creation of social constructs that cause this demise. The idea that there are “leaders” that mass groups of people follow, and trends, that mass groups of people follow, and “laws” that mass groups of people follow…
… instead of the individual that follows their own moral compass.
So we know that Resources, in every quantified sense – was never a problem.
There must be something we’ve either overlooked, or underlooked. Perhaps how we’ve managed the potentials of ourselves, as factors of “ignorance”. One clue we could “start” looking “from”, would be our prior history, wouldn’t it? Can we perhaps then, take a trip back to memory lane?
Interestingly, no other point of civilization since dawn of human first invention as ideological to then instrumental; have advanced us so quickly in a space of no more than few hundred years. The invention of “money” (instrument of exchange) then the banking system, and Marketing. From Abacus, then to light bulbs and automobiles. The Internet then the Blockchain. From willow tree bark to then Aspirin, and low-dose naltrexones.
An impressive advance for mankind, indeed. However beneath all this pursuit; we continued to DIVERT such a Progress to something else far more destructive. Effectively reversing our meaningful reconciling on the “why’s” behind all this pursuit in the first place.
...
What I genuinely fear; is that we are inching closer towards a global state of “stand-still”. So precarious if this were to continue it’d be likely petrifying.
That “stand-still” point I refer to is similar to the critique aimed against Calhoun’s Behavioural Sink. That is – Oblivious Irrationality. We know that, as hypothesized in part one – it was the excessive, totalitarian attempt for universal in-clusivitythat contributes much to the mice’s declines. Leading to losses of individual liberties at reclaiming what is Authentically simply that – “individual”, peaceful, content in its own homeostasis.
Yet – if we were to translate this to our state of our present pedestrian normalcy – it is anything but peaceful nor quaint. Political myopism; aka. 1984 – is likely brewing to ever more increasingly heights of “reality”.
Why is this so? I can only speculate that once again – it is due to (helpless) totalitarian attempt for in-clusivity of all pedestrian “norms”. For structural “correctness”. First stemming as ideological concepts like “Religion” and/or “Faith”. Then structurally enforced as “Laws” and “Institutionalisations”.
Religion then instills us the comforting, human benevolence through warm, cosy and “emotive” doctrine(s) – of Monogamy and (infinite) servitude of Charity.
Yet little do we know, all this is a pursuit away from transcending ourselves. But instead to everyone else’s collectivism towards totalitarian in-clusivity. In other words, Totalitarian objectivity, in place of all Subjective Authenticities.
...
Following from this, we must remove all Human titles of “Politicians”. These hierarchical structure of decision-making must inevitably erode. As the efficacy of technology replaces human cognitive ability at “management” – “Politicians” absolutely have NO place in the rungs of every management of all genetically diverse human needs, and eccentric pursuits.
Considering we now have entire country (or as several “states”) today; overruled by elitism of (1) entity alone. Entities whom we decoratively label as “Rulers”, “Prime Ministers” or “Presidents”. Then orchestrated collectively through correctional “Institution/s”; to decide and thus make every Structural Impositions.
Such paradigm is unthinkably limited and unempathetic to individual, anecdotal crisis. People will always look forth to overthrow kings and queens. Especially given that individual human variabilities grow exponentially incomprehensible when judged or treated as collective whole numbers.
...
Hence, today’s archaic “Correctness Hierarchy” as our present, Institutionalized definition of Science today once again, must be eradicated. And there is one more realm connected to this that must also be strongly scrutinized.
-Nutritional humanity
My Conclusions
Catastrophic extinction (phase four events) is expected given conditions that suppresses natural behaviors.
Over-population is a symptom of the suppression of natural behaviors.
Before the extinction event occurs, there will be all sorts of odd actions, behaviors and dangers in crowded locations.
I would, for certain, avoid cities at all costs.
Human population is following the life-extinction graph. We cannot, and should not ignore it. Avoid cities, large groups of people, and charismatic leaders that control great swaths of the population.
MAJestic observation
Imagine that you are another species, from another environment. You are observing the humans as they exist in contemporaneous society. What would you think?
How could you benefit from this situation?
What advice would you give to a treasured individual from this society?
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notices. There are no ads on this site (aside from the hosting ads – a
necessary evil). Functionally and fundamentally, I just don’t make money
off of this blog. It is NOT monetized. Finally, I don’t track you
because I just don’t care to.
I think that I am changing; I no longer care about warning fellow Americans about the nationwide train-wreck that is about to happen. (The need to borrow 22 Trillion dollars is a very serious symptom.)
The people who care, don’t know what to do about it.
The People who don’t care are just lost causes.
You see people, when the Titanic is taking on water, and half the ship is already in the frosty depths, you don’t go about the deck warning people. You just don’t. You go get yourself a life-vest, and you get on board one of the life-boats.
You save yourself.
You don’t mess around.
That’s me today.
Instead, I just want to spend time with my family and get drunk with friends. I want to eat tasty delicious food and play with my dog. I want to reread the classics, and maybe explore a park or two.
Turning on the American news, even so-called Conservative aggregators, is like taking a swim in a water treatment plant cesspool. It’s all just so ugly and so terrible distasteful. I just no longer care. Yuck. It’s ugly, filthy stuff.
So… No. I don’t care.
No.
No. No. No.
Ya. Ya. So predictable.
Yet another Democrat wants to ban something. They must churn out these idiots by the gallon. Same talking points. Same emotional reasoning. Same banal ignorance.
Not. My. Problem.
Justified by some crazed liberal shooter goes postal, and the media loudly warn everyone that utopia can arrive once only the government has guns. Brilliant logic for those that never opened up a history book. So predictable. Just like another feigned racial attack. I think the count is somewhere around 25,647 to 0 of it being faked.
People, if Conservatives wanted to hurt someone…they would do it. Make no mistake. You all ought be mighty careful for what you wish for.
Not. My. Problem.
The rich get so amazingly filthy rich, and commit the most horrid crimes freely. Nothing is done about it.
Americans are taxed, prodded and kept like free-ranging cattle.
Just you had better show up for your fleecing, or the full strength of the law will completely and absolutely destroy your life.
Heck with that. I’ve tuned out.
Instead, I’m just gonna relax. Have a good time and read some good old fashioned books. Here’s a great short story pulled from one of them.
Enjoy.
The Star Mouse
Here’s a great classic science fiction story. It’s just a fun read.Nothing too much more than that. It Features a genial German rocket scientist (ah, if only they had all been as good-natured and likeable and well-intentioned as him!) and his charming and soon-to-be-super-intelligent mouse neighbor. The two have struck up a warm and talkative and very cheese-based relationship, that he sends out on the first-ever space mission in the history of mankind (we are in 1942). Now, this inventive story about very-hard-to forget mice and men cannot fail to leave you with a smile on your lips and the happy feeling that you have just read one of the masterpieces of the golden age of science-fiction!
MITKEY, THE MOUSE, wasn’t Mitkey then.
He was just another mouse, who lived behind the floorboards and plaster of the house of the great Herr Professor Oberburger, formerly of Vienna and Heidelberg; then a refugee from the excessive admiration of the more powerful of his fellow-countrymen. The excessive admiration had concerned, not Herr Oberburger himself, but a certain gas which had been a by-product of an unsuccessful rocket fuel—which might have been a highly successful something else.
If, of course, the Professor had given them the correct formula.
Which he—Well, anyway, the Professor had made good his escape and now lived in a house in Connecticut. And so did Mitkey.
A small gray mouse, and a small gray man. Nothing unusual about either of them. Particularly there was nothing unusual about Mitkey; he had a family and he liked cheese and if there were Rotarians among mice, he would have been a Rotarian.
The Herr Professor, of course, had his mild eccentricities. A confirmed bachelor, he had no one to talk to except himself, but he considered himself an excellent conversationalist and held constant verbal communion with himself while he worked. That fact, it turned out later, was important, because Mitkey had excellent ears and heard those night-long soliloquies. He didn’t understand them, of course. If he thought about them at all, he merely thought of the Professor as a large and noisy super-mouse who squeaked over-much.
“Und now,” he would say to himself, “ve vill see vether this eggshaust tube vas broberly machined. It should fidt vithin vun vunhundredth thousandth of an indtch. Ahhh, it iss berfect. Und now—”
Night after night, day after day, month after month. The gleaming thing grew, and the gleam in Herr Oberburger’s eyes grew apace.
It was about three and a half feet long, with weirdly shaped vanes, and it rested on a temporary framework on a table in the center of the room that served the Herr Professor for all purposes. The house in which he and Mitkey lived was a four room structure, but the Professor hadn’t yet found it out, seemingly. Originally, he had planned to use the big room as a laboratory only, but he found it more convenient to sleep on a cot in one corner of it, when he slept at all, and to do the little cooking he did over the same gas burner over which he melted down golden grains of TNT into a dangerous soup which he salted and peppered with strange condiments, but did not eat.
“Und now I shall bour it into tubes, and see vether vun tube adjacendt to another eggsplodes der secondt tube vhen der virst tube iss—”
That was the night Mitkey almost decided to move himself and his family to a more stable abode, one that did not rock and sway and try to turn handsprings on its foundations. But Mitkey didn’t move after all, because there were compensations. New mouse-holes all over, and—joy of joy!—a big crack in the back of the refrigerator where the Professor kept, among other things, food.
Of course the tubes had been not larger than capillary size, or the house would not have remained around the mouse-holes. And of course Mitkey could not guess what was coming nor understand the Herr Professor’s brand of English (nor any other brand of English, for that matter) or he would not have let even a crack in the refrigerator tempt him.
The Professor was jubilant that morning.
“Der fuel, idt vorks! Der secondt tube, idt did not eggsplode.Und der virst, in seggtions, as I had eggspectedt! Und it is more bowerful; there will be blenty of room for der combartment—”
Ah, yes, the compartment. That was where Mitkey came in, although even the Professor didn’t know it yet. In fact the Professor didn’t even know that Mitkey existed.
“Und now,” he was saying to his favorite listener, “idt is budt a madter of combining der fuel tubes so they work in obbosite bairs. Und then—”
That was the moment when the Herr Professor’s eyes first fell on Mitkey. Rather, they fell upon a pair of gray whiskers and a black, shiny little nose protruding from a hole in the baseboards.
“Veil!” he said, “vot haff ve here! Mitkey Mouse himself! Mitkey, how would you like to go for a ride, negst veek? Ve shall see.”
That is how it came about that the next time the Professor sent into town for supplies, his order included a mousetrap—not one of the vicious kind that kills, but one of the wire-cage kind. And it had not been set, with cheese, for more than ten minutes before Mitkey’s sharp little nose had smelled out that cheese and he had followed his nose into captivity.
Not, however, an unpleasant captivity. Mitkey was an honored guest. The cage reposed now on the table at which the Professor did most of his work, and cheese in indigestion-giving abundance was pushed through the bars, and the Professor didn’t talk to himself any more.
“You see, Mitkey, I vas going to sendt to der laboratory in Hardtfordt for a vhite mouse, budt vhy should I, mit you here? I am sure you are more soundt und healthy und able to vithstand a long chourney than those laboratory mices. No? Ah, you viggle your viskers und that means yes, no? Und being used to living in dargk holes, you should suffer less than they from glaustrophobia, no?”
And Mitkey grew fat and happy and forgot all about trying to get out of the cage. I fear that he even forgot about the family he had abandoned, but he knew, if he knew anything, that he need not worry about them in the slightest. At least not until and unless the Professor discovered and repaired the hole in the refrigerator. And the Professor’s mind was most emphatically not on refrigeration.
“Und so, Mitkey, ye shall place this vane so—it iss only of assistance in der landing, in an atmosphere. It und these vill bring you down safely und slowly enough that der shock-absorbers in der movable combartment vill keep you from bumping your head too hard, I think.”
Of course, Mitkey missed the ominous note to that “I think” qualification because he missed all the rest of it. He did not, as has been explained, speak English. Not then.
But Herr Oberburger talked to him just the same. He showed him pictures. “Did you effer see der Mouse you vas named after, Mitkey? Vhat? No? Loogk, this is der original Mitkey Mouse, by Valt Dissney. Budt I think you are cuter, Mitkey.”
Probably the Professor was a bit crazy to talk that way to a little gray mouse. In fact, he must have been crazy to make a rocket that worked. For the odd thing was that the Herr Professor was not really an inventor. There was, as he carefully explained to Mitkey, not one single thing about that rocket that was new. The Herr Professor was a technician; he could take other people’s ideas and make them work. His only real invention—the rocket fuel that wasn’t one—had been turned over to the United States Government and had proved to be something already known and discarded because it was too expensive for practical use.
As he explained very carefully to Mitkey, “It iss burely a matter of absolute accuracy and mathematical correctness, Mitkey. Idt iss all here—ye merely combine—und ye achieff vhat, Mitkey?
“Eggscape velocity, Mitkey! Chust barely, it adds up to eggscape velocity. Maybe. There are yet unknown facgtors, Mitkey, in der ubper atmosphere, der troposphere, der stratosphere. Ve think ve know eggsactly how mudch air there iss to calculate resistance against, but are ve absolutely sure? No, Mitkey, ve are not. Ve haff not been there. Und der marchin iss so narrow that so mudch as an air current might affect idt.”
But Mitkey cared not a whit. In the shadow of the tapering aluminum-alloy cylinder he waxed fat and happy.
“Der tag, Mitkey, der tag! Und I shall not lie to you, Mitkey. I shall not giff you valse assurances. You go on a dancherous chourney, mein little friendt.
“A vifty-vifty chance ve giff you, Mitkey. Not der moon or bust, but der moon und bust, or else maybe safely back to earth. You see, my boor little Mitkey, der moon iss not made of green cheese und if it were, you vould not live to eat it because there iss not enough atmosphere to bring you down safely und vith your viskers still on.
“Und vhy then, you may veil ask, do I send you? Because der rocket may not attain eggscape velocity. Und in that case, it iss still an eggsperiment, budt a different vun. Der rocket, if it goes not to der moon, falls back on der earth, no? Und in that case certain instruments shall giff us further information than ve haff yet about things up there in space. Und you shall giff us information, by vether or not you are yet alife, vether der shock absorbers und vanes are sufficient in an earth-equivalent atmosphere. You see?
“Then ladter, vhen ye send rockets to Venus maybe vhere an atmosphere eggsists, ve shall haff data to calculate the needed size of vanes und shock-absorbers, no? Und in either case, und vether or not you return, Mitkey, you shall be vamous! You shall be der virst lifting greature to go oudt beyond der stratosphere of der earth, out into space.
“Mitkey, you shall be der Star-Mouse! I enfy you, Mitkey, und I only vish I vere your size, so I could go, too.”
Der tag, and the door to the compartment. “Gootbye, little Mitkey Mouse.” Darkness. Silence. Noise!
“Der rocket—if it goes not to der moon—falls back on der earth, no?”
That was what the Herr Professor thought. But the best-laid plans of mice and men gang aft agley. Even star-mice.
All because of Prxl.
The Herr Professor found himself very lonely. After having had Mitkey to talk to, soliloquies were somehow empty and inadequate.
There may be some who say that the company of a small gray mouse is a poor substitute for a wife; but others may disagree. And, anyway, the Professor had never had a wife, and he had a mouse to talk to, so he missed one and, if he missed the other, he didn’t know it.
During the long night after the launching of the rocket, he had been very busy with his telescope, a sweet little eight-inch reflector, checking its course as it gathered momentum. The exhaust explosions made a tiny fluctuating point of light that was possible to follow, if one knew where to look.
But the following day there seemed to be nothing to do, and he was too excited to sleep, although he tried. So he compromised by doing a spot of housekeeping, cleaning the pots and pans. It was while he was so engaged that he heard a series of frantic little squeaks and discovered that another small gray mouse, with shorter whiskers and a shorter tail than Mitkey, had walked into the wire-cage mousetrap.
“Veil, yell,” said the Professor, “vot haff ye here? Minnie? Iss it Minnie come to look for her Mitkey?”
The Professor was not a biologist, but he happened to be right. It was Minnie. Rather, it was Mitkey’s mate, so the name was appropriate. What strange vagary of mind had induced her to walk into an unbaited trap, the Professor neither knew nor cared, but he was delighted. He promptly remedied the lack of bait by pushing a sizable piece of cheese through the bars.
Thus it was that Minnie came to fill the place of her far-traveling spouse as repository for the Professor’s confidences. Whether she worried about her family or not there is no way of knowing, but she need not have done so. They were now large enough to fend for themselves, particularly in a house that offered abundant cover and easy access to the refrigerator.
“Ah, und now it iss dargk enough, Minnie, that ye can loogk for that husband of yours. His viery trail across the sky. True, Minnie, it iss a very small viery trail und der astronomers vill not notice it, because they do not know vhere to loogk. But ye do.
“He iss going to be a very vamous mouse, Minnie, this Mitkey of ours, vhen ye tell der vorld about him und about mein rocket. You see, Minnie ye haff not told them yet. Ve shall vait und gill der gomplete story all at vunce. By dawn of tomorrow ve’ll—” Ah, there he iss, Minnie! Vaint, but there. I’d hold you up to der scope und let you loogk, but it vould not be vocused right for your eyes, und I do not know how to—
“Almost vun hundred thousand miles, Minnnie, und still agcelerating, but not for much longer. Our Mitkey iss on schedule; in fagt he iss going vaster than ye had vigured, no? It iss sure now that he vill eggscape the gravitation of der earth, und fall upon der moon!”
Of course, it was purely coincidental that Minnie squeaked.
“Ah, yess, Minnie, little Minnie. I know, I know. Ve shall neffer see our Mitkey again, und I almost vish our eggsperiment hadt vailed. Budt there are gompensations, Minnie. He shall be der most vamous of all mices. Der Star-Mouse! Virst liffing greature effer to go beyond der gravitational bull of earth!”
The night was long. Occasionally high clouds obscured vision.
“Minnie, I shall make you more gomfortable than in that so-small vire cage. You vould like to seem to be vree, vould you not, vithout bars, like der animals at modern zoos, vith moats insteadt?”
And so, to fill in an hour when a cloud obscured the sky, the Herr Professor made Minnie her new home. It was the end of a wooden crate, about half an inch thick and a foot square, laid flat on the table, and with no visible barrier around it.
But he covered the top with metal foil at the edges, and he placed the board on another larger board which also had a strip of metal foil surrounding the island of Minnie’s home. And wires from the two areas of metal foil to opposite terminals of a small transformer which he placed near by.
“Und now, Minnie, I shall blace you on your island, vhich shall be liberally supplied mitt cheese und vater, und you shall vind it iss an eggcelent blace to liff. But you vill get a mild shock or two vhen you try to step off der edge of der island. It vill not hurt much, but you vill not like it, und after a few tries you vill learn not to try again, no? Und—”
And night again.
Minnie happy on her island, her lesson well learned. She would no longer so much as step on the inner strip of metal foil. It was a mouse-paradise of an island, though. There was a cliff of cheese bigger than Minnie herself. It kept her busy. Mouse and cheese; soon one would be a transmutation of the other.
But Professor Oberburger wasn’t thinking about that. The Professor was worried. When he had calculated and recalculated and aimed his eight-inch reflector through the hole in the roof and turned out the lights—
Yes, there are advantages to being a bachelor after all. If one wants a hole in the roof, one simply knocks a hole in the roof and there is nobody to tell one that one is crazy. If winter comes, or if it rains, one can always call a carpenter or use a tarpaulin.
But the faint trail of light wasn’t there. The Professor frowned and re-calculated and re-re-calculated and shifted his telescope three-tenths of a minute and still the rocket wasn’t there.
“Minnie, something iss wrong. Either der tubes hall stopped viring, or—”
Or the rocket was no longer traversing a straight line relative to its point of departure. By straight, of course, is meant parabolically curved relative to everything other than velocity.
So the Herr Professor did the only thing remaining for him to do, and began to search, with the telescope, in widening circles. It was two hours before he found it, five degrees off course already and veering more and more into a— Well, there was only one thing you could call it.
A tailspin.
The darned thing was going in circles, circles which appeared to constitute an orbit about something that couldn’t possibly be there. Then narrowing into a concentric spiral.
Then—out. Gone. Darkness. No rocket flares.
The Professor’s face was pale as he turned to Minnie.
“It iss imbossible, Minnie. Mein own eyes, but it could not be. Even if vun side stopped viring, it could not haff gone into such sudden circles.” His pencil verified a suspicion. “Und, Minnie, it decelerated vaster than bossible. Even mitt no tubes viring, its momentum vould haff been more—”
The rest of the night—telescope and calculus—yielded no clue. That is, no believable clue. Some force not inherent in the rocket itself, and not accountable by gravitation—even of a hypothetical body—had acted.
“Mein poor Mitkey.”
The gray, inscrutable dawn. “Mein Minnie, it vill haff to be a secret. Ve dare not publish vhat ye saw, for it vould not be believed. I am not sure I believe it myself, Minnie. Berhaps because I vas offertired vrom not sleeping, I chust imachined that I saw—”
Later. “But, Minnie, ye shall hope. Vun hundred vifty thousand miles out, it vas. It vill fall back upon der earth. But I gannot tell vherel I thought that if it did, I vould be able to galculate its course, und— But after those goncentric circles—Minnie, not even Einstein could galculate vhere it vill land. Not effen me. All ve can do iss hope that ye shall hear of vhere it falls.”
Cloudy day. Black night jealous of its mysteries.
“Minnie, our poor Mitkey. There is nothing could have gauzed—”
But something had.
Prxl.
Prxl is an asteroid. It isn’t called that by earthly astronomers, because—for excellent reasons—they have not discovered it. So we will call it by the nearest possible transliteration of the name its inhabitants use. Yes, it’s inhabited.
Come to think of it, Professor Oberburger’s attempt to send a rocket to the moon had some strange results. Or rather, Prxl did.
You wouldn’t think that an asteroid could reform a drunk, would you? But one Charles Winslow, a besotted citizen of Bridgeport, Connecticut, never took a drink when—right on Grove Street—a mouse asked him the road to Hartford. The mouse was wearing bright red pants and vivid yellow gloves—
But that was fifteen months after the Professor lost his rocket. We’d better start over again.
Prxl is an asteroid. One of those despised celestial bodies which terrestrial astronomers call vermin of the sky, because the darned things leave trails across the plates that clutter up the more important observations of novae and nebulae. Fifty thousand fleas on the dark dog of night.
Tiny things, most of them. Astronomers have been discovering recently that some of them come close to Earth. Amazingly close. There was excitement in 1932 when Amor came within ten million miles; astronomically, a mere mashie shot. Then Apollo cut that almost in half, and in 1936 Adonis came within less than one and a half million miles. In 1937, Hermes, less than half a million but the astronomers got really excited when they calculated its orbit and found that the little mile-long asteroid can come within a mere 220,000 miles, closer than Earth’s own moon.
Some day they may be still more excited, if and when they spot the 3/8-mile asteroid Prxl, that obstacle of space, making a transit across the moon and discover that it frequently comes within a mere hundred thousand miles of our rapidly whirling world.
Only in event of a transit will they ever discover it, though, for Prxl does not reflect light. It hasn’t, anyway, for several million years since its inhabitants coated it with a black, light-absorbing pigment derived from its interior. Monumental task, painting a world, for creatures half an inch tall. But worth it, at the time. When they’d shifted its orbit, they were safe from their enemies. There were giants in those days—eight-inch tall marauding pirates from Diemos. Got to Earth a couple of times too, before they faded out of the picture. Pleasant little giants who killed because they enjoyed it. Records in now-buried cities on Diemos might explain what happened to the dinosaurs. And why the promising Cro-Magnons disappeared at the height of their promise only a cosmic few minutes after the dinosaurs went west.
But Prxl survived. Tiny world no longer reflecting the sun’s rays, lost to the cosmic killers when its orbit was shifted.
Prxl. Still civilized, with a civilization millions of years old. Its coat of blackness preserved and renewed regularly, more through tradition than fear of enemies in these later degenerate days. Mighty but stagnant civilization, standing still on a world that whizzes like a bullet.
And Mitkey Mouse.
Klarloth, head scientist of a race of scientists, tapped his assistant Bemj on what would have been Bemj’s shoulder if he had had one. “Look,” he said, “what approaches Prxl. Obviously artificial propulsion.”
Bemj looked into the wall-plate and then directed a thought-wave at the mechanism that jumped the magnification of a thousand-fold through an alteration of the electronic field.
The image leaped, blurred, then steadied. “Fabricated,” said Bemj.
“Extremely crude, I must say. Primitive explosive-powered rocket. Wait, I’ll check where it came from.”
He took the readings from the dials about the viewplate, and hurled them as thoughts against the psychocoil of the computer, then waited while that most complicated of machines digested all the factors and prepared the answer. Then, eagerly, he slid his mind into rapport with its projector. Klarloth likewise listened in to the silent broadcast.
Exact point on Earth and exact time of departure. Untranslatable expression of curve of trajectory, and point on that curve where deflected by gravitational pull of Prxl. The destination—or rather the original intended destination—of the rocket was obvious, Earth’s moon. Time and place of arrival on Prxl if present course of rocket was unchanged.
“Earth,” said Klarloth meditatively. “They were a long way from rocket travel the last time we checked them. Some sort of a crusade, or battle of beliefs, going on, wasn’t there?”
Bemj nodded. “Catapults. Bows and arrows. They’ve taken a long stride since, even if this is only an early experimental thing of a rocket. Shall we destroy it before it gets here?”
Klarloth shook his head thoughtfully. “Let’s look it over. May save us a trip to Earth; we can judge their present state of development pretty well from the rocket itself.”
“But then we’ll have to—”
“Of course. Call the Station. Tell them to train their attracto-repulsors on it and to swing it into a temporary orbit until they prepare a landing-cradle. And not forget to damp out the explosive before they bring it down.”
“Temporary force-field around point of landing—in case?”
“Naturally.”
So despite the almost complete absence of atmosphere in which the vanes could have functioned, the rocket came down safely and so softly that Mitkey, in the dark compartment, knew only that the awful noise had stopped.
Mitkey felt better. He ate some more of the cheese with which the compartment was liberally provided. Then he resumed trying to gnaw a hole in the inch-thick wood with which the compartment was lined. That wooden lining was a kind thought of the Herr Professor for Mitkey’s mental well-being. He knew that trying to gnaw his way out would give Mitkey something to do en route which would keep him from getting the screaming meemies. The idea had worked; being busy, Mitkey hadn’t suffered mentally from his dark confinement. And now that things were quiet, he chewed away more industriously and more happily than ever, sublimely unaware that when he got through the wood, he’d find only metal which he couldn’t chew. But better people than Mitkey have found things they couldn’t chew.
Meanwhile, Klarloth and Bemj and several thousand other Prxlians stood gazing up at the huge rocket which, even lying on its side, towered high over their heads. Some of the younger ones, forgetting the invisible field of force, walked too close and came back, ruefully rubbing bumped heads.
Klarloth himself was at the psychograph.
“There is life inside the rocket,” he told Bemj. “But the impressions are confused. One creature, but I cannot follow its thought processes. At the moment it seems to be doing something with its teeth.”
“It could not be an Earthling, one of the dominant race. One of them is much larger than this huge rocket. Gigantic creatures. Perhaps, unable to construct a rocket large enough to hold one of themselves, they sent an experimental creature, such as our wooraths.”
“I believe you’ve guessed right, Bemj. Well, when we have explored its mind thoroughly, we may still learn enough to save us a check-up trip to Earth. I am going to open the door.”
“But air—creatures of Earth would need a heavy, almost a dense atmosphere. It could not live.”
“We retain the force-field, of course. It will keep the air in. Obviously there is a source of supply of air within the rocket or the creature would not have survived the trip.”
Klarloth operated controls, and the force-field itself put forth invisible pseudo-pods and turned the outer screw-door, then reached within and unlatched the inner door to the compartment itself.
All Prxl watched breathlessly as a monstrous gray head pushed out of the huge aperture yawning overhead. Thick whiskers, each as long as the body of a Prxlian—
Mitkey jumped down, and took a forward step that bumped his black nose hard—into something that wasn’t there. He squeaked, and jumped backward against the rocket.
There was disgust in Bemj’s face as he looked up at the monster.
“Obviously much less intelligent than a woorath. Might just as well turn on the ray.”
“Not at all,” interrupted Klarloth. “You forget certain very obvious facts. The creature is unintelligent, of course, but the subconscious of every animal holds in itself every memory, every impression, every sense-image, to which it has ever been subjected. If this creature has ever heard the speech of the Earthlings, or seen any of their works—besides this rocket—every word and every picture is indelibly graven. You see now what I mean?”
“Naturally. How stupid of me, Klarloth. Well, one thing is obvious from the rocket itself: we have nothing to fear from the science of Earth for at least a few millennia. So there is no hurry, which is fortunate. For to send back the creature’s memory to the time of its birth, and to follow each sensory impression in the psychograph will require—well, a time at least equivalent to the age of the creature, whatever that is, plus the time necessary for us to interpret and assimilate each.”
“But that will not be necessary, Bemj.”
“No? Oh, you mean the X-19 waves?”
“Exactly. Focused upon this creature’s brain-center, they can, without disturbing his memories, be so delicately adjusted as to increase his intelligence—now probably about .0001 in the scale—to the point where he is a reasoning creature. Almost automatically, during the process, he will assimilate his own memories, and understand them just as he would if he had been intelligent at the time he received those impressions.
“See, Bemj? He will automatically sort out irrelevant data, and will be able to answer our questions.”
“But would you make him as intelligent as—?”
“As we? No, the X-19 waves would not work so far. I would say to about .2, on the scale. That, judging from the rocket, coupled with what we remember of Earthlings from our last trip there, is about their present place on the intelligence scale.”
“Ummm, yes. At that level, he would comprehend his experiences on Earth just sufficiently that he would not be dangerous to us, too. Equal to an intelligent Earthling. Just about right for our purpose. Then, shall we teach him our language?”
“Wait,” said Klarloth. He studied the psychograph closely for a while.
“No, I do not think so. He will have a language of his own. I see in his subconscious, memories of many long conversations. Strangely, they all seem to be monologues by one person. But he will have a language—a simple one. It would take him a long time, even under treatment, to grasp the concepts of our own method of communication. But we can learn his, while he is under the X-19 machine, in a few minutes.”
“Does he understand, now, any of that language?”
Klarloth studied the psychograph again. “No, I do not believe he— Wait, there is one word that seems to mean something to him. The word `Mitkey.’ It seems to be his name, and I believe that, from hearing it many times, he vaguely associates it with himself.”
“And quarters for him—with air-locks and such?”
“Of course. Order them built.”
To say it was a strange experience for Mitkey is understatement. Knowledge is a strange thing, even when it is acquired gradually. To have it thrust upon one—
And there were little things that had to be straightened out. Like the matter of vocal chords. His weren’t adapted to the language he now found he knew. Bemj fixed that; you would hardly call it an operation because Mitkey—even with his new awareness—didn’t know what was going on, and he was wide awake at the time. And they didn’t explain to Mitkey about the J-dimension with which one can get at the inwardness of things without penetrating the outside.
They figured things like that weren’t in Mitkey’s line, and anyway they were more interested in learning from him than teaching him. Bemj and Klarloth, and a dozen others deemed worthy of the privilege. If one of them wasn’t talking to him, another was.
Their questioning helped his own growing understanding. He would not, usually, know that he knew the answer to a question until it was asked. Then he’d piece together, without knowing just how he did it (any more than you or I know how we know things) and give them the answer.
Bemj: “Iss this language vhich you sbeak a universal vun?”
And Mitkey, even though he’d never thought about it before, had the answer ready: “No, it iss nodt. It iss Englitch, but I remember der Herr Brofessor sbeaking of other tongues. I belief he sboke another himself originally, budt in America he always sboke Englitch to become more vamiliar mitt it. It iss a beaudiful sbeech, is it nodt?”
“Hmmmm,” said Bemj.
Klarloth: “Und your race, the mices. Are they treated veil?” “Nodt by most people,” Mitkey told him. And explained.
“I vould like to do something for them,” he added. “Loogk, could I nodt take back mitt me this brocess vhich you used upon me? Abbly it to other mices, and greate a race of super-mices?”
“Vhy not?” asked Bemj.
He saw Klarloth looking at him strangely, and threw his mind into rapport with the chief scientist’s, with Mitkey left out of the silent communion.
“Yes, of course,” Bemj told Klarloth, “it will lead to trouble on Earth, grave trouble. Two equal classes of beings so dissimilar as mice and men cannot live together in amity. But why should that concern us, other than favorably? The resultant mess will slow down progress on Earth—give us a few more millennia of peace before Earthlings discover we are here, and trouble starts. You know these Earthlings.”
“But you would give them the X-19 waves? They might—”
“No, of course not. But we can explain to Mitkey here how to make a very crude and limited machine for them. A primitive one which would suffice for nothing more than the specific task of converting mouse mentality from .0001 to .2, Mitkey’s own level and that of the bifurcated Earthlings.”
“It is possible,” communicated Klarloth. “It is certain that for aeons to come they will be incapable of understanding its basic principle.”
“But could they not use even a crude machine to raise their own level of intelligence?”
“You forget, Bemj, the basic limitation of the X-19 rays; that no one can possibly design a projector capable of raising any mentality to a point on the scale higher than his own. Not even we.” All this, of course, over Mitkey’s head, in silent Prxlian.
More interviews, and more.
Klarloth again: “Mitkey, ve yarn you of vun thing. Avoid carelessness vith electricity. Der new molecular rearranchement of your brain center—it iss unstable, und—”
Bemj: “Mitkey, are you sure your Herr Brofessor iss der most advanced of all who eggsperiment vith der rockets?”
“In cheneral, yens, Bemj. There are others who on vun specific boint, such as eggsplosives, mathematics, astrovisics, may know more, but not much more. Und for combining these knowledges, he iss ahead.”
“It iss yell,” said Bemj.
Small gray mouse towering like a dinosaur over tinier half-inch Prxlians. Meek, herbivorous creature though he was, Mitkey could have killed any one of them with a single bite. But, of course, it never occurred to him to do so, nor to them to fear that he might.
They turned him inside out mentally. They did a pretty good job of study on him physically, too, but that was through the J-dimension, and Mitkey didn’t even know about it.
They found out what made him tick, and they found out everything he knew and some things he didn’t even know he knew. And they grew quite fond of him.
“Mitkey,” said Klarloth one day, “all der civilized races on Earth year glothing, do they nodt? Vell, if you are to raise der level of mices to men, vould it not be vitting that you year glothes, too?”
“An eggcelent idea, Herr Klarloth. Und I know chust vhat kind I should like. Der Herr Brofessor vunce showed me a bicture of a mouse bainted by der artist Dissney, und der mouse yore glothing. Der mouse vas not a real-life vun, budt an imachinary mouse in a barable, und der Brofessor named me after der Dissney mouse.”
“Vot kind of glothing vas it, Mitkey?”
“Bright red bants mitt two big yellow buttons in frondt und two in back, und yellow shoes for der back feet und a pair of yellow gloves for der front. A hole in der seat of der bants to aggomodate der tail.”
“Ogay, Mitkey. Such shall be ready for you in fife minutes.”
That was on the eve of Mitkey’s departure. Originally Bemj had suggested awaiting the moment when Prxl’s eccentric orbit would again take it within a hundred and fifty thousand miles of Earth. But, as Klarloth pointed out, that would be fifty-five Earth-years ahead, and Mitkey wouldn’t last that long. Not unless they—And Bemj agreed that they had better not risk sending a secret like that back to Earth.
So they compromised by refueling Mitkey’s rocket with something that would cancel out the million and a quarter odd miles he would have to travel. That secret they didn’t have to worry about, because the fuel would be gone by the time the rocket landed.
Day of departure.
“Ve haft done our best, Mitkey, to set and time der rocket so it vill land on or near der spot from vhich you left Earth. But you gannot eggspect agguracy in a voyach so long as this. But you vill land near. The rest iss up to you. Ve haff equvipped the rocket ship for effery contingency.”
“Thank you, Herr Klarloth, Herr Bemj. Gootbye.”
“Gootbye, Mitkey. Ve hate to loose you.”
“Gootbye, Mitkey.”
“Gootbye, gootbye . . .”
For a million and a quarter miles, the aim was really excellent. The rocket landed in Long Island Sound, ten miles out from Bridgeport, about sixty miles from the house of Professor Oberburger near Hartford.
They had prepared for a water landing, of course. The rocket went down to the bottom, but before it was more than a few dozen feet under the surface, Mitkey opened the door—especially re-equipped to open from the inside—and stepped out.
Over his regular clothes he wore a neat little diving suit that would have protected him at any reasonable depth, and which, being lighter than water, brought him to the surface quickly where he was able to open his helmet.
He had enough synthetic food to last him for a week, but it wasn’t necessary, as things turned out. The night-boat from Boston carried him in to Bridgeport on its anchor chain, and once in sight of land he was able to divest himself of the diving suit and let it sink to the bottom after he’d punctured the tiny compartments that made it float, as he’d promised Klarloth he would do.
Almost instinctively, Mitkey knew that he’d do well to avoid human beings until he’d reached Professor Oberburger and told his story. His worst danger proved to be the rats at the wharf where he swam ashore. They were ten times Mitkey’s size and had teeth that could have taken him apart in two bites.
But mind has always triumphed over matter. Mitkey pointed an imperious yellow glove and said, “Scram,” and the rats scrammed. They’d never seen anything like Mitkey before, and they were impressed.
So for that matter, was the drunk of whom Mitkey inquired the way to Hartford. We mentioned that episode before. That was the only time Mitkey tried direct communication with strange human beings. He took, of course, every precaution. He addressed his remarks from a strategic position only inches away from a hole into which he could have popped. But it was the drunk who did the popping, without even waiting to answer Mitkey’s question.
But he got there, finally. He made his way afoot to the north side of town and hid out behind a gas station until he heard a motorist who had pulled in for gasoline inquire the way to Hartford. And Mitkey was a stowaway when the car started up.
The rest wasn’t hard. The calculations of the Prxlians showed that the starting point of the rocket was five Earth miles north-west of what showed on their telescopomaps as a city, and which from the Professor’s conversation Mitkey knew would be Hartford.
He got there.
“Hello, Brofessor.”
The Herr Professor Oberburger looked up, startled. There was no one in sight. “Vot?” he asked, of the air. “Who iss?”
“It iss I, Brofessor. Mitkey, der mouse whom you sent to der moon. But I vas not there. Insteadt, I—”
“Vot?? It iss imbossible. Somebody blays der choke. Budt—budt nobody knows about that rocket. Vhen it vailed, I didn’t told nobody. Nobody budt me knows—”
“And me, Brofessor.”
The Herr Professor sighed heavily. “Offervork. I am going vhat they call battly in der bel—”
“No, Brofessor. This is really me, Mitkey. I can talk now. Chust like you.”
“You say you can— I do not belief it. Vhy can I not see you, then. Vhere are you? Vhy don’t you—”
“I am hiding, Brofessor, in der vall chust behind der big hole. I vanted to be sure efferything vas ogay before I showed myself. Then you would not get eggcited und throw something at me maybe.”
“Vot? Vhy, Mitkey, if it iss really you und I am nodt asleep or going— Vhy, Mitkey, you know better than to think I might do something like that!”
“Ogay, Brofessor.”
Mitkey stepped out of the hole in the wall, and the Professor looked at him and rubbed his eyes and looked again and rubbed his eyes and—
“I am grazy,’ he said finally. “Red bants he years yet, und yellow— It gannot be. I am grazy.”
“No, Brofessor. Listen, I’ll tell you all aboudt.”
And Mitkey told him.
Gray dawn, and a small gray mouse still talking earnestly.
“Yess, Brofessor. I see your boint, that you think an intelligent race of mices und an intelligent race of men couldt nodt get along side by sides. But it vould not be side by sides; as I said, there are only a ferry few beople in the smallest continent of Australia. Und it vould cost little to bring them back und turn offer that continent to us mices. Ve vould call it Moustralia instead Australia, und ye vould instead of Sydney call der capital Dissney, in honor of—”
“But, Mitkey—”
“But, Brofessor, look vot we offer for that continent. All mices vould go there. Ve civilize a few und the few help us catch others und bring them in to put them under red ray machine, und the others help catch more und build more machines und it grows like a snowball rolling down hill. Und ye sign a nonaggression pact mitt humans und stay on Moustralia und raise our own food und—”
“But, Mitkey—”
“Und look vot ye offer you in eggschange, Her Brofessor! Ve vill eggsterminate your vorst enemy—der rats. Ve do not like them either. Und vun battalion of vun thousand mices, armed mitt gas masks und small gas bombs, could go right in effery hole after der rats und could eggsterminate effery rat in a city in vun day or two. In der whole vorld ye could eggsterminate effery last rat in a year, und at the same time catch und civilize effery mouse und ship him to Moustralia, und—”
“But, Mitkey—”
“Vot, Brofessor?”
“It vould vork, but it vould not work. You could eggsterminate der rats, yess. But how long vould it be before conflicts of interests vould lead to der mices trying to eggsterminate de people or der people trying to eggsterminate der—”
“They vould not dare, Brofessor! Ve could make weapons that vould—”
“You see, Mitkey?”
“But it vould not habben. If men vill honor our rights, ve vill honor—”
The Herr Professor sighed.
“I—I vill act as your intermediary, Mitkey, und offer your broposition, und— Vell, it iss true that getting rid of rats vould be a greadt boon to der human race. Budt—”
“Thank you, Brofessor.”
“By der vay, Mitkey. I haff Minnie. Your vife, I guess it iss, unless there vas other mices around. She iss in der other room; I put her there chust before you ariffed, so she vould be in der dark und could sleep. You vant to see her?”
“Vife?” said Mitkey. It had been so long that he had really forgotten the family he had perforce abandoned. The memory returned slowly.
“Veil,” he said “—ummm, yess. Ve vill get her und I shall construct quvick a small X-19 prochector und—Yess, it vill help you in your negotiations mitt der governments if there are sefferal of us already so they can see I am not chust a freak like they might otherwise suspegt.”
It wasn’t deliberate. It couldn’t have been, because the Professor didn’t know about Klarloth’s warning to Mitkey about carelessness with electricity—”Der new molecular rearranchement of your brain center—it iss unstable, und—”
And the Professor was still back in the lighted room when Mitkey ran into the room where Minnie was in her barless cage. She was asleep, and the sight of her— Memory of his earlier days came back like a flash and suddenly Mitkey knew how lonesome he had been.
“Minnie!” he called, forgetting that she could not understand.
And stepped up on the board where she lay. “Squeak!” The mild electrical current between the two strips of tinfoil got him.
There was silence for a while.
Then: “Mitkey,” called the Herr Professor. “Come on back und ye vill discuss this—”
He stepped through the doorway and saw them, there in the gray light of dawn, two small gray mice cuddled happily together. He couldn’t tell which was which, because Mitkey’s teeth had torn off the red and yellow garments which had suddenly been strange, confining and obnoxious things.
“Vot on earth?” asked Professor Oberburger. Then he remembered the current, and guessed.
“Mitkey! Can you no longer talk? Iss der—”
Silence.
Then the Professor smiled. “Mitkey,” he said, “my little star-mouse. I think you are more happier now.”
He watched them a moment, fondly, then reached down and flipped the switch that broke the electrical barrier. Of course they didn’t know they were free, but when the Professor picked them up and placed them carefully on the floor, one ran immediately for the hole in the wall. The other followed, but turned around and looked back—still a trace of puzzlement in the little black eyes, a puzzlement that faded.
“Gootbye, Mitkey. You vill be happier this vay. Und there vill always be cheese.”
“Squeak,” said the little gray mouse, and it popped into the hole.
“Gootbye—” it might, or might not, have meant.
The End
Movies that Inspired Me
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