One thing that I have noticed over the last decade was that the auto-correct in MS Word, and the various on-line options are configured for people with an IQ of a snail. Words that I learned in seventh grade are often either no longer available on the internet dictionaries, or are replaced with politically correct versions. This is frustrating (maybe even angering) as each word has it’s own intrinsic value and the words currently available are sadly too generic for use.
I would want to use the word “niggardly” and MSWord would auto-correct it to “miserly”. I would type “policeman”, and the software would instantly (in the blink of an eye) correct it to “policeperson”. I would use pronouns that defined gender, like in the sentence “He ate icecream.” only to find it changed to “It ate icecream.”. (I always get the image of this big green blog from the movie “Ghostbusters” eating some icecream.)
It was so frustrating.
Here we discuss the joys and perils of using the English language alongside with software that originates out of the politically-correct bastions of California.
Here, are some online resources that I use. They are pretty decent. I only wish that the words provided in them would be added to the more ubiquitous entries as presently available on the on-line dictionary options.
Some Options
Here are some options that I use for more juicy and plump words that might best fit my given needs at any moment in time…
- Phrontistery
- Oxford odd-and strange word Dictionary
- International House of Logorrhea
- Grandiloquent Dictionary
I fear that the United States is turning into a ochlochracy with the actions of the antifa-influenced Democrats.
I thoroughly enjoyed her callipygian as she moved. My eyes engaged in rapid oculoplania beyond my control.
Some useful words to use on Trolls
(This is from the House of Logorrhea.) This small set of 21 obscure words consists of nouns used to define minor, inferior, or petty members of various professions.
The words end with ‘-aster’, a Latin pejorative suffix indicating incomplete resemblance or lesser status.
These words are little used today, but in another age were devices of scorn used by the intelligentsia to deride their lesser fellows. With a little creativity, practically any name for a profession can be altered in this way, should you find a desirable object for your contempt.
| Word | Definition |
|---|---|
| astrologaster | a foolish or petty astrologer |
| criticaster | inferior or petty critic |
| grammaticaster | a piddling grammarian |
| hereticaster | a petty or contemptible heretic |
| latinitaster | a petty scholar of Latin |
| logicaster | a petty logician |
| mathematicaster | minor or inferior mathematician |
| medicaster | quack; charlatan |
| militaster | soldier without skill or ability |
| musicaster | a mediocre musician |
| opiniaster | one who obstinately holds to an opinion |
| parasitaster | a mean or sorry parasite |
| philologaster | petty or contemptible philologist |
| philosophaster | amateur or superficial philosopher |
| poetaster | petty poet; writer of contemptible verses |
| politicaster | petty politician |
| rhetoricaster | petty rhetorician |
| scientaster | petty scientist |
| theologaster | petty or shallow theologian |
| usageaster | self-appointed conservative language usage expert |
| witticaster | a petty or inferior wit |
Some useful Obscure words just perfect for insults…
There are numerous websites that cover all sorts of interesting words. Rather than compile my very-own-list, I offer the websites for the enjoyment of the reader.
- 30 Curious and Obscure Words, Phrases, & Insults
- 9 Obscure Old Swear Words We Should Bring Back, Consarn It!
- 42 Old English Insults
- 10 Insulting Words you should Know
Some fun words to try to use…
Here are some fine words that might be worthy of including in a comment section or two. All credit to Neatorama.
BESCUMBER (v)
Definition: To spray with poo.
Analysis: Actually bescumber is just one of many words in the English language that basically mean “to spray with poo”. These are: BEDUNG, BERAY, IMMERD, SHARNY, and the good ol’ SHITTEN. In special cases, you can use BEMUTE (specifically means to drop poo on someone from great height), SHARD-BORN (born in dung), and FIMICOLOUS (living and growing on crap).
Alternative: If that is too vulgar, you can use BEVOMIT and BEPISS, which meanings should be obvious to you, as well as BESPAWL (to spit on).
Oh, and if you want to say poo without looking like you’re saying it, you can use ORDURE, DEJECTION, and EXCRETA. To mean something more specific, you can use MECONIUM (first feces of a newborn child), MELAENA or MELENA (the abnormally tarry feces containing blood from gastrointestinal bleeding), LIENTERY (diarrhea with undigested or partially digested food), and STEATORRHEA (fatty stool that’s hard to flush down).
MICROPHALLUS (n)
Definition: An unusually small penis.
Analysis: Self explanatory.
Alternative: Insulting a man’s private part is a very reliable way to put him down (if he’s smaller than you) or to get beat up (if he’s larger than you). Usually, even a dimwit can decipher the meaning of this word, after all, it’s just a combination of “micro” and “phallus”.
So, to insult a physically larger opponent, we recommend you use these words instead: PHALLOCRYPSIS (retraction or shrinkage of the penis), CRYPTORCHID (undescendend testicles), and PHALLONCUS (tumor of the penis).
COCCYDYNIA (n)
Definition: Pain in the butt.
Analysis: It’s a real medical term: coccydynia is pain in the coccyx or tailbone. Most people simply call it “buttache.”
Similar: PROCTALGIA, PROCTODYNIA, PYGALGIA and RECTALGIA all mean pain in the butt.
Alternative: CERVICALGIA (pain in the neck), PHALLODYNIA or PHALLALGIA (both mean pain in the penis), and PUDENDAGRA (pain in the genitals).
The word “butt” is highly versatile in its vernacular use – you can say “butt face” or “hairy butt” – them are fightin’ words – but it’s much better to use these instead: ANKYLOPROCTIA (stricture of the anus, the state of “tight-assity”), STEATOPYGOUS (fat-assed), DASYPYGAL (having hairy buttocks), and CACOPYGIAN (having ugly buttocks).
BUNCOMBE (n)
Definition: A ludicrously false statement. Basically it means bullshit or nonsense.
Analysis: Actually, you probably already know this word by its more common spelling: bunkum.
The origin of this word is fascinating.
In 1819, a North Carolina congressman, the Honorable Felix Walker, was giving a rambling speech with little relevance to the current debate. He refused to yield the floor, and claimed that he wasn’t speaking for Congress but instead “for Buncombe” (a county in North Carolina he represented).
That’s all it took.
- Over time, the spelling changed to “bunkum,” and the meaning strangely changed to be “excellent.”
- Then it changed back in 1870, when a San Francisco gambler introduced a new game “banco“.
- But it was played with dice that were later found out to be loaded.
- Sure enough, BUNCO became known to mean swindle or cheat, and bunkum reverted back to its original meaning. (Source)
The word DEBUNK came directly from this: it’s just bunk(um) with the prefix de- (meaning to remove).
Smellfungus (n)
Definition – an excessively faultfinding person
It is not often that we know who created a particular word, despite the claims that are made about such-and-such writer inventing this-or-that word; such claims are usually false. In the case of smellfungus, however, we not only know who coined the word (Laurence Sterne), we also know who it is supposed to represent (Tobias Smollett).
Stern created a hypocritical character named Smelfungus in his 1768 book A Sentimental Journey through France, a satire on Smollett, whose Travels through France and Italy had been published two years earlier.
About MS Word
Up until 2017, the spell-checking service on Microsoft Word was horrible. The checker was maddeningly auto-correcting everything to a politically correct narrative. if you typed in the sentence;
The postman wished the housewife a “Merry Christmas”!
It was auto-corrected to this butchered-up sentence;
The postalperson wished the housepartner a “Happy Holiday”!
I do not know what happened.
Then suddenly it all ended. It reverted back to normal-speak.
I suspect that someone in Microsoft saw the light and changed the dictionary conventions to a more historically and conventionally accurate setting. It happened sometime in 2017.
I attribute it to the “Trump effect”.
I wonder if I am the only person who noticed this. For, I most certainly haven’t seen any news article or reports on this phenomenon.
It certainly wouldn’t be in the “news”. News stopped reporting a couple of decades ago. Now they just fabricate political events to manipulate the populace. Ah, but that’s a discussion for another time.
Conclusions
This was just a quick and fun post describing my frustration with some elements of the “modern” internet and software programs. Part of it is that wordpress has a crappyassed spell-checker, and part of it was year of frustration (approximately from 2009 to 2017) where the PC police invaded my laptop and took over my MS Word software.
If you enjoyed this post, please fell free to take a trip to my happiness index here…
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