This is a very detailed discussion on how a Business KTV works in China. This is a pretty large multi-part post. It was originally posted HERE, but it soon became problematic as the videos would not load and the SEO flags weren’t being picked up by the search engines. So I broke it down into smaller bite-sized posts. It’s faster to load, easier to read, and you can see all the videos without problem. Enjoy.
This is part 4 of 17.
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Respect and “Face”
Let’s talk about respect and face in China.
“To me, your “face” is your position and standing in the eyes of others, and it also has to do with the degree of respect you receive. Face can also be saved up over time and used to accomplish things later on. If you drove a fashionable or luxurious car to attend a friend’s party, then the majority of your friends would feel that you had face. Also, if you can achieve something through your personal contacts that others cannot through normal channels, you would also be thought to have face. You can gain face if you are praised by your boss, or if you accomplish a difficult task at work. However, if you greet others warmly at social events, but are met only with indifference, then you would lose face. Questioning someone’s ideas or opinion in a public setting would cause that person to lose face.” – James Tan, Sales Manager, Shanghai
When a client relationship is established in China, the client more often than not receives more Face in the early stages of a relationship from the “seller.” Face must be given to the client to make him or her believe that the seller is worthy of their money and time.
Sometimes giving Face to a contact entails simply words and compliments, though sometimes gifts are required and invitations to dinners, entertainment, or other social events.
To the Chinese there is a natural order in society as well as business, and if one is unwilling or unable to show the proper amount of Face to those that feel they deserve it, then one will likely be judged to not have good character. This has the potential to wreck business deals and sour relationships, so with regard to the issue of Face most Chinese business people tread with care.
Food and Eating
Now, you will need to be a little buzzed when the food is set out. In China they eat everything. So if you are a bit squeamish, you had best be fortified with strong liquor. Fish are presented with all the bones, so you must be careful and eat around them. In the USA the cook guts the fish (fillets it), and throws away the head, tail, and fins. Not so in China. They love that stuff.
Chicken will have everything thrown into one pot. This will include the entire bird from heart to legs, and everything in between. The only thing missing would be the feathers. And you, you as the host will be given the chicken head on a plate.
It will look something a little on the lines of this…
For me, I really wow everyone buy sticking the head in my mouth and sucking on it for five or ten minutes, then I spit it out in a napkin.
I always get a round of drinks out of it.
Personally, I think it helps make me a little strong in the bedroom area, if you know what I mean. (Heh heh.) There must be some mineral, vitamin or protein that is in the fish head that is good for older men, me thinks. Almost as good oysters.
Try everything.
The single biggest cultural conflict I found was the Western rule that you should finish the food put in front of you with the Chinese rule that a guest should never be left with an empty plate or cup, and should always be urged to eat and drink. At first, I felt that I was in a contest to try to eat and drink everything they gave me, until I realized that it was acceptable for me to politely refuse to eat or drink more. -What are the biggest cultural shocks when you visit China
The host will make sure that you bowl is filled. Unlike the United States, a full bowl is a sign that you are finished eating. In the States, we couldn’t leave the table until everything was cleaned off our plates. “Waste not, want not” is the saying I believe. Well, that doesn’t go down too well in China. I must have gained fifty pounds before I figured it out.
Make sure that food remains in your bowl.
Oh, yeah, in China it is totally fine to spit things out on your plate. So you eat some fish, you can spit the bones on the plate near you or on the table cloth. Same with the bones, grizzle, and chicken claws.
Finally, the Chinese do not use "fortune cookies". They haven't the foggiest idea what they are. Most think that it is disgusting to have written paper inside a cookie that you eat.
Warnings
No matter what, you need to understand that while there is an element of playful fun involved, first and foremost this is a BUSINESS activity.
Often, you will start talking about contracts and business relationships when both you and the host are shitfaced. Often you will have a girl on each side of you making sure that you do not pass out, and are able to converse while the loud music is playing.
This is an important event, and the business aspects should not be drowned out by the fun, the sexy playful behavior or the alcohol. This is work, and the best leaders in China can DRINK. You, if you want to maintain any kind of decent face, will also be expected to.
What ever happens, you don’t want this. (see below’s video) Not for you, and not for your companions. Take heed.
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