The big lie that everyone is equal

It’s really a pretty big lie that everyone is equal. No one is.

We are all different. We have different types of hair, different ways of thinking, different likes in food, different views of attractiveness, and different ways of handling things.

Conformity is a tool used to control groups of people.

When you need to handle unruly herds of people, or things (like herding kittens), you need to create rules and ways of handling things. Back in the days when organized schools first started popping up, the fierce independence of the children were bleached out of them to make room for order and control.

During this time, as the children grew up and became adults they began to consider that level of control and uniformity as necessary for “a great society”. And when the adults became politicians, they repeated that action and placed rule after rule, and law after law. One after the other. All in an effort to make a well-organized, well-run nation.

But it’s not really true.

Independent thought, differences in ability, thoughts, emotions and opinions are what makes the world an interesting and colorful place. You really don’t want to relive the old days of conformity under some kind of grand master plan do you?

We try to force people into boxes to make them equal. You know, sort of like the scene in the Movie Pink Floyd’s “The Wall”, where all the students are being repackaged into clones of each other.

You know.

Maybe something like this…

Is everyone equal in a court of law?

Is everyone equal in skills or ability?

Is everyone equal in beauty or attractiveness?

So WHY is America so obsessed with this notion of “equality”? No one is equal at anything. Instead, I argue that it is our DIFFERENCES that should be treasured. Not our similarities.

But…

That’s not how American schools operate…

In School, everyone is equal.

And that indoctrination in school has entered American society. Like it or not. And that has since spread (like a dangerous virus) throughout the world…

One of the big lies in America today is that everyone is equal. It’s a lie because no one is actually equal. Everyone is different.

Quite. Different.

And that is a good thing.

Now the progressive liberals in the audience would be confused with this. As they equate “equality” with “democracy”, and “uniqueness” with “diversity”. You can’t do that and make those comparisons. They are nonsensical.

And the traditional conservatives want to make everyone fit into some kind of pre-determined role within society. One with stratification, and one where “misfits” have no place. It’s an exclusionary vision. It’s the “lone wolf” concept, where everyone is part of a tribe, with roles and set behaviors. All following a great parent-figure; their “leader”. And the misfits…

…well, they can just go somewhere else to die. Put them in a hospital. Put them on some kind of social program. Move them away, far away from the rest of society. They don’t belong. They are too different.

Which makes me want to have a cup of coffee and write this rant…

Do we really want to be like everyone else?

We see this all over the place.

There is NO SUCH THING as true equality. Yet, there is a large contingent of people that believe in this myth.

And I see it in the comment sections of social media. Where an eleven year old is commenting with a forty year old construction worker. The social media’s comment section gives the appearance that they are equal, but in “real life” they are world’s apart in knowledge, experience, ability and perceptions.

In truth, and in a real-world situation, the construction worker really wouldn’t give his “time of day” to the young opinionated kid.

Which is why metallicman screens all comments. It’s a grey-web don’t ya know. No one is equal. But everyone get’s an equal shot at saying their piece.

Other Places

On the LinkedIN social network, you can actually see the qualifications, experiences and abilities of the people commenting. This gives you advantage. And you can easily separate the commenters into groups;

  • Knowledgeable, savvy, experienced.
  • Young, idealistic, inexperienced.

Which is really handy-dandy in deciding whether or not to comment, respond or get dragged into a debate. If you see that the person is probably a ‘bot, or a youngster, or maybe a CEO (in name only) with no substantive background, you can well decide to ignore their sparring.

We need to know with whom we are talking with.

In “real life” you discuss matters as equals, with others that you consider to be equal to you. Whether it is an a social environment or in a work environment. You all know this. You talk differently with your bosses, boss than you do with a co-worker. Don’t you.

But social media has taken those natural barriers away.

Now we don’t really know whom we are talking with. Is is a peer, an equal, or someone we respect, or is it a snot nosed kid, a paid-for troll, or a drunk 20-something in his mother’s basement?

I like to imagine them trying to debate me face-to-face.

More than likely they would be pissing in their pants long before they skedaddled out the door.

You have to know who you are dealing with.

Which is a handy thing to be able to do; you only comment when it adds something to the discourse. You try to keep it focused, positive and kind if you can.

Metallicman Comments

Most of the Metallicman comments are worthy.

Meaning that they provide something of value to the discourse, and it enhances the site. You don’t have to crawl through comment after comment of insults, or distractions, or nonsense that you might find on other venues. (You know, I screen everyone. Yes. Even you Rob. LOL.)

Have you ever seen that?

You are reading a great article, and you get to the comment section and find that it has been hijacked by others, and the dialog went “off the rails” and on to some other subject? Yeah. Most of that is intentional. As most Trolls are paid to be assholes.

Anyways.

I like to think that the MM comment section is one of the best on the web. There’s good “meaty” stuff there from all over the world. And while not everyone agrees with each other, or holds the same point of view, everyone contributes equally. Some of which are truly outstanding.

It’s not like you have a stream of one-word gibberish from “participants” like this…

Hey!

Did any of those comments have meaning for you? Did they make sense to you? Are they contributing to the dialog in any way?

I read them, and I get this image of a 1950’s style robot with beeping and flashing red eyes, and brushed steel skin.

Contemporaneous commenters on most American social media platforms.

This equal participation is quite different from being fractionally equal to each other. Because I value our differences as key contribution vectors.

Contributions. Discussion. Social interaction.

Adds value to our life.

VALUE.

Time to chill over coffee

Back in the 1960’s and 1970’s there used to be a big old tureen of coffee in the backroom of where we would work. It did not matter what kind of work that you were doing. All companies provided free, thick and ample coffee to their employees. And as such, employees were free to drink as much as they want, with as much sugar and cream as they would like. This was thick, syrup-like deep coffee, with lots of sugar and real whipped cream.

Coffee Time!

We would drink the coffee in what ever was provided. Often is was one of about twenty old reused (over and over) old coffee cups. Sometimes it was styrofoam cups that we would use and then discard. When I worked in the military it was a big white cup emblazoned with the name of a project that I might be working on. I had about twenty of such cups lying all over my office(s) at one point in time.

Typical mug for people involved in Military development systems.

Anyways…

Drinking coffee and chatting about work is a pastime that I have come to appreciate. You know, when you go to a trade-show and you meet others in your industry, and you all can relate “war stories” about the same kinds of issues or the same kinds of problems… well it’s a bonding experience.

Whether it is something like this…

...That style mill is NOT a Sieg product, many enjoy it or the Precision Mathews branded version of it. I think Brian Rupnow has the Busy Bee one which is painted in Canadian paint. I can't specifically tell you if it is good for those jobs. I would think so, as long as it is mild steel and nothing hardened.

Or maybe something like this…

...With a nightmare engine, you may have tolerances set "by the book" on the ring gap, the mains and rod bearings, but every time you torque the bolts, you have to use a 4 foot pipe wrench on the crank pulley to turn it over. How does a normal rebuild become a nightmare? You may know or have heard of the scenario. You waste three gasket sets putting it together… tearing it down… putting it together… tearing it down etc, each time waiting for the UPS truck and new parts that you should've put in right off or replacements for new parts you destroyed on your first attempt. (Note: there's nothing I dislike more than cleaning gasket surfaces that I cleaned the weekend before). What should have been a weekend project has taken months, much of the time spent trying to avoid the shop so you can forget this perplexing failure. Many times, you are not at fault for a rebuild working out this way. It can happen frequently with engines that seized up in a hurry. Fortunately most rebuilds are undertaken because the tractor was just getting tired and nothing catastrophic happened to force the rebuild. By catastrophic, I mean something happened that made the engine stick hard and stick fast… while it was spinning at 1500 RPM.

Or on a different kind of subject…

We started off buy purchasing 1×12” fir from a local guy who has a small saw mill for his vast amount of timber. It’s always fun to dream of new creations when we go there. One thing when going through a small saw mill is the price of lumber is so much cheaper than the local hardware store. But the boards all needed plained so we bought a plainer to get this job done. It took five times per board going through the plainer. It was a full days job...

Or maybe something like this…

...now we must use the new FinCEN reports, which are available only electronically through the BSA E-Filing System. FinCEN is no longer accepting legacy reports, and that is a real pain in the ass...

To something not work related…

...You wouldn't need an alarm clock if you lived in the barn. That's because horses have a clock in their heads. Ask anyone who has to explain daylight-saving time to their horses. The better you can stick to a routine, the happier the horses are. That's not just referring to time, either. Make any other changes gradually, too, such as feed, water and turnout times.

Horses need friends. They're happy in a group situation, and if you see a horse who's a loner, he probably has some problem. Perhaps he's ill or hurting, or he's been pushed out of the group. You'll know right off that he's not a happy camper. The buddy doesn't have to be another horse, though that's preferable...

So what?

So what? Why is the “coffee break” so friggin’ important?

It’s simple really.

We are humans. We are not machines. We don’t go into a cube, at a certain time, stare into a lighted monitor for a set period of time, and then leave. We are social creatures, and we need social stimulation. The Coffee Break does that.

We can talk freely about anything.

A coffee break allows you to be able to speak freely about things.

Ah.

The freedom of speech.

It actually means something, don’t you know.

Being able to speak freely, with friends, colleagues, family or business associates is the bedrock of society. It is important. We can share our hopes, dreams, lives and frustrations together. We don’t need to hide behind politically correct speech or be quiet because someone might be offended.

Being able to speak freely.

And…

so…

I think that many of us have substituted “social media” for face-to-face in-person chatting and dialogs. We have forgotten that there is a difference between chatting with a kid on the street is different than with a coworker, which is much different than chatting in “mixed company” in a church, or some other social venue.

Conformity and “free speech”

When you have those that openly talk about limiting speech or print for one reason or the other, what you are seeing is that they are forcing people to conform.

Their vision of Heaven is one in which everyone wears the same state-issue wings. And all wear the same white robes, and all say the same things, in the same way.

Yet…

If you have a “free for all” where they are no rules, it becomes colorful and interesting. But only for a while…

A short while.

That marvelous utopia tends to collapse because there will always be a percentage who would abuse it. Whether it is a company trying to profit from it by spam, a couple of bored teenagers, a crusty old ill-tempered senior citizen, or an enraged SJW type, all it takes is a few misfits to spoil the entire “pot of chili”.

Which is why you need a minimum of rules, and a very flexible police force.

Here, on MM for instance… the rules are simple.

  • Don’t Troll.
  • Don’t insult me.
  • Don’t spam.
  • Don’t derail the discussion.
  • Don’t try to advertise.
  • Don’t be an asshole.

Aside from that, it’s pretty much a free-for-all. It’s colorful, and interesting and fun.

  • It’s not white = only approved comments that fit within the expectations of the readership.
  • It’s not black = anything goes. It’s not policed in anyway what so ever.
  • It’s grey. Minor policing of a chaotic situation.

And when you think about it, isn’t that the way everything should operate? Instead of having a 56 page manual on how to dress, like they did in General Motors, just replace it with a simple sentence “Dress appropriately for the task, role and situation.”

I like to believe that this “grey area” of discourse works for 95% of the population. And the policing keeps the 5% at bay and under control. It’s a mix of what is wanted and desired as opposed to abuse by those whom have poor social skills.

Conclusion

We need to realize that the ideal situation (in anything) is complex, colorful, chaotic and curious. To maintain that condition, you need to police it. You need to control the elements that want to either [1] destroy the individual environment (for what ever reason), or those that [2] want to improve the situation (usually invoking some kind of conformity).

This is true whether it is here at Metallicman, or in you local community.

We need to be on the constant alert for the people who wish to change what exists into something else…

…be it a free-for-all with trolls, commercials, profanity and other distortions…

…or, someone’s idea of utopia. One that can only be obtained with a great deal of laws, regulations and rules of behavior.

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How a Chinese Business KTV Works – The Tea Ritual

This is a very detailed discussion on how a Business KTV works in China. This is a pretty large multi-part post. It was originally posted HERE, but it soon became problematic as the videos would not load and the SEO flags weren’t being picked up by the search engines. So I broke it down into smaller bite-sized posts. It’s faster to load, easier to read, and you can see all the videos without problem. Enjoy.

This is part 2 of 17.

Please kindly note that this post has multiple embedded videos. It is important to view them. If they fail to load, all you need to do is to reload your browser.

Tea Ritual

China has many different kinds of rituals for tea. By now, you would have experienced the business negotiations over a tea ritual that occurs at the factory in the office. This is a dinner tea ritual. Here, you use tea to wash the cups and plates.

For our purposes, I like to call this small event the “Chinese business tea ritual”.

Wrapped dishes
Almost all restaurants in China have their dishes pre-sanitized and bubble wrapped for protection. This is very common, from the farthest point North to the extreme Southern end of China.

Granted, all the cups and plates are pre-sanitized. They are in these clear shrink-wrapped bubbles, that you need to break open to get the dishes out of. I typically use my chopsticks (quaizi) and punch a hole in the sealed plastic. Then tear it open with my hands. The idea is to get all the dishes out of the bubble wrap. Then, once they are out, you pour the scalding hot tea all over the dishes and utensils to clean them.

Once the dishes have been washed, you then pour the (now dirty) tea into a large clear bowl that is provided for exactly that purpose. The bowl will be passed around and then taken away by one of the waitress chicks.

And, that is about all there is to the “Chinese business tea ritual”.

Drinks

Before the food starts to arrive, there will be the decision on what kind of alcohol that you will be drinking. Typically, beer is a drink for lunches. Evenings, especially for a night of hard drinking will have to get started off right. If given the choice, I vote for red wine.

The wine in poured into a large glass carafe. One person, typically an aide of the factory boss will take on this responsible, or at the very least will instruct the waitress to do so.

Gan Bei
Everyone who has every been to China knows about Gan Bei. This is a fundamental part of Chinese culture, and if you are unaware of it, then you really have never visited China nor participated in the culture there.

“Red wine” is drunk not like wine is drunk in the West. It is quaffed down in glasses “bottom up style”. (Gan Bei!) Typically, you will need to drink to everyone at the table individually. Then multiple times with your host. You will also be expected to drink with your aides.

There are really three ways of drinking;

  • Full glass (reserved ONLY for the boss and to cheer an agreement.)
  • Half a glass (the most common) called “ye ban de ban”.
  • One fourth a glass (offered about mid way though the meal) called “ye ke”.

Drinking red wine permits you to be able to stand up straight after your meal and be able to walk to the KTV without having to be supported by your aides. This is pretty important to save “face”. Though if everyone is drinking VSOP, XO or that God-forsaken 53 degree “white wine”, you will all need to be carried out.

White Wine (BaiJiu)

In China today Baijiu is drunk almost exclusively at meals, as alcohol is a very important part of Chinese dining culture. Baijiu is served in shot sized glasses and used during toasts to show respect and build relationships.

When toasting, the Baijiu glass of is gripped with both hands, with either one hand on either side, or with one hand/finger on the bottom of the glass. After a Er Guo Tou (二锅头) is a cheap type of Baijiu available every-where-toast the Baijiu is usually consumed in one gulp.

Following a toast, the glass can be turned upside down or tilted forward to display that one has consumed the entire glass, and thus give face to your friend, partner or host.

Moutai
The best white wine in China is Moutai. It is pure moonshine and comes in 53%. Ugh!

If you do decide to drink VSOP or XO, make sure that it is mixed with green tea, else you will get too drunk too quickly.

One should pay attention not to raise his/her glass higher than those of the respected elders; When two glasses clink, how high people hold their glasses shows hierarchy. When the host toasts you, keep his glass higher. These insights hold true at most dinners with hierarchy, such as corporate dinners with bosses, meals with clients and multi-generation family gatherings.

Personal Note.

Some younger factory bosses or owners will get excited and try to show you respect by trying to slam dunk Gan Bei. Do not fall for it. Aside from trying to make you unable to stand up, it will completely decimate your blood fluid pressure in your nether regions. Which really sucks, if offered full-on hospitality.

Always moderate your drinking. Afew Gan Bei's are fine. Just keep it under thirty in total. In general, the rule should be occasional drinking. Have your second (in command) drink for you.

In many places in China, especially northern China, the drunker a person becomes via being toasted with Baijiu (or other liquors and alcohols) the more Face has been conferred upon them. Therefore, it can be common for visitors to China to be entertained by well-meaning Chinese hosts who are intent on showing them as must respect as possible, by getting them as drunk as possible, on an completely unfamiliar and relatively strong liquor.

In the United States, the “diversity manager” would have a heart attack!

Be respectful (jìng jiǔ敬酒)

jìngjiǔ 敬酒 : “respectfully proposing a drink.” People will likely toast you to show their respect and hospitality. As a foreigner, you’re not expected to do likewise, but it will be much appreciated if you do. Once you’ve started, make sure you toast everyone who might outrank you. If the people are many and you’re worried your head might not take it well, you can tick them off in twos and threes; it’s perfectly acceptable.

When someone toasts you, you should immediately stop eating and drinking to accept and toast in response. All people sitting at the same table must stand up, upon the initiative of one of the guests, and toast in succession; Remember, one should never refuse to participate in a toast. If you turn down a drink, your Chinese counterpart may feel like he has lose his face.

If you’re the one offering the toast, you’re putting yourself in an inferior position, which means you have to be the more respectful one. Thus, it’s better if you stand up and empty your cup completely. The other person may remain seated and drink just a bit, but usually they will go out of their way to show you the same respect.

Important Note

As a Westerner, it is our default understanding to assume that this is just “drink”. That this is just “dinner”, or that this is just “socializing”. It is no such thing.

These are time honored rituals that have been cultivated in Chinese culture for centuries. You, as the person who participates in the rituals, are now being judged on your ability to “join the fold”, or (to use the common parlance) “join the tribe”.

Don’t fuck it up.

In The United States, there would be these networks of “good old boys” and they still exist, though they have gone underground. You will be judged in your ability to handle yourself. You will be judged in your ability to make decisions under drink (pressure) and you will be watched. It is sort of a friendly game…

However, failure might have some nasty consequences in your future relationships with the host. Oh, they’ll take your money, for certain. However, if you want the best attention, the best timing, the best care and concern, then you had best be able to give YOUR best during this period of time.

This is all about relationship building.

A Little Story

I was once asked to be interviewed by a Doctorate student at a UK university about Guangxi. Now, guangxi is the “business relationships” between individuals in China. As is the case with most intelligent students in the university, she had a tremendous amount of book knowledge, but zero personal on-hand experience to put everything in context.

So during the interview, she told me that the way that the Chinese do business is rather “old fashioned”, and “obsolete”. She commented on how possibly could China ever be able to compete against the world using these arcane methods?

Well, after a second or two of thought, I responded. First of all, I told her, China is and will continue to be the, the world’s leader in manufacturing. Perhaps they are doing something right, rather than something “obsolete” and “outdated”.

Second of all, I asked her what the “new and improved” method was to conduct business? She responded that you use the internet to research factories. You compile data on the strengths and weaknesses of each, and then use a comparison matrix to sort out the best factory to work with.

At which point I said… “Yeah that might work… might“.

In reality, the best price will come from a very large and high volume factory. It will be well poised to give new clients competitive pricing, established quality and have the work and industrial environment that you are looking for.

But…

If your order is small, as (after all you are the new “kid on the block”). You will be put on the bottom of the priority list. Much larger, well established clients, will push your orders to the side. Oh yeah, you will eventually get your product, but they will often be late, and it will be you who will have to deal with the consequences to your supply chain.

Building relationships have a purpose.

It is better to have a tight and strong relationship with a small factory, than a nameless and faceless one with a huge factory. As we used to say in America,” it is better to be a big fish in a little pond, than a little fish in a big ocean.”

So, I say to her…

What is the importance of dating? Why don’t you just go immediate to sex when you see an attractive guy? Why do you go through the ritual of coffee, dinner, dance, some wine, a stroll or two and maybe a night cap? Why all the ritual? Why not go straight to the “big event”?

She said, to get the know the person. To prove that that person is worthy of your time, and to see if you are comfortable being with that person.

I responded. That is the same purpose of the Chinese dinner, drink and KTV. Exactly.

Oh Yeah…

While I am at it, if you decline anything…anything… it will affect their opinion of you. This is why many expats, in the business world, take up smoking, drinking and other vices. You cannot afford to lose face. Because nothing will cause a company to lose face more than sending a teetotaler to negotiate contract terms with a Chinese factory.

So, when you are offered a cigar, take it and smoke it. The same is true with cigarettes, (especially the high-test versions that they will give you you…ugh!) and of course… eat what they feed you, drink what they offer you.

If you don’t have the stomach or the constitution for this level of social interaction, then you should be in another line of work. Working with Chinese factories is not for you.

Continued-graphic-arrow

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The Chinese Business KTV Experience

KTV1
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KTV8
KTV9
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