The Most Important Things That a Man Looks for in a Woman

All over the internet you can see advice on what a woman looks for in a man, and what a man looks for in a woman. There are many such articles. Most are subjective and have cultural, regional and ethnic biases.  Here is what I, as an American man looks for in a woman regardless as to what her race is, what culture she is from, and her age….

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Introduction

When I was younger I didn’t really know what to look for in a woman. My ideas of beauty and relationships came from popular movies, television and the magazines of the time.

In fact, my uncles made fun of my first girlfriend because she was so very thin and petite. They told me “she’s too thin. Trust me, you want a girl with meat on her bones…“.  I didn’t believe them then, but I can totally see the point that they were  trying to make. Their wives (my aunties) were all hourglass-shaped with impressive chests.

My father told me once “Look at the girls mother to see what she will be like when she gets older”. Again, I had no clue what he was talking about. Now… well, let’s say that I fully understand the point that he was trying to make. No, it’s not a direct correlation, but there is a genetic component that cannot be ignored.

The List

1. Appearance
2. Sex
3. Domestic Concern
4. Companionship
5. Personality
6. Self Confidence
7. Respect
8. Family Devotion
9. Spirituality
10. Shared Values

Of course, there are many other factors that we could include here. But, this is not intended to be an exhaustive study, or some kind of PC narrative. Let’s consider what I, myself, look for in women. This is my list. The things in it are absolutely critical.  You take one item out from that list, and there will be no relationship. Period.

But, I’m not other people. So if you want to generate your own list and criteria for comparisons, go straight ahead. I’m not going to stop you. This is my list, and these are my comparisons…

[1] A Woman’s Appearance

A man looks for a woman that he is physically attracted to.

Is this a truth or what? I have read some websites on the internet, obviously from a woman’s perspective, and they don’t even list appearance as a criteria. Yet it is perhaps the most important, and the most common NO MATTER WHERE YOU LIVE. Girls in Zambia Africa will get all dressed up and perfect, as will women in Communist China.

All over the world, women have bodies that scream “look at me”.

Appearance is the first thing that a man looks for in a woman. This might sound so trivial in today’s modern progressive narrative, but it is a biologically proven fact. So, if you still want to believe in fantasies, Peter Rabbit, the Tooth Fairy and Santa Claus, you can leave.

Sorry, but it has to be said. The good news is, every man is attracted to a different type of woman and has his own personal tastes. Meaning, I am in no way suggesting a woman has to fit a certain image of ‘beauty’ in order to be considered ‘wife material.’ 

But, as is true for both men and women, there needs to be a physical attraction between two partners to kick off a relationship, which also plays an important part in holding it together.

-The Good Man Project

We men want a woman who we are attracted to.

Attraction has to do with a combination of [1] physical shape, [2] physical appearance, [3] personal grooming, and [4] behavior.

I have seen women who have “rockin’” bodies, who dress like trailer-park trash, and were a total turn off. I have seen women who look good and yet sound like a foul-mouthed sailor when they speak. I have seen women who didn’t know how to walk in high heels and went clunk-clunk-clunk as they walked down the street. Yuck!

This might be surprising, but us guys really like to look at women. I really don’t know why.

It’s not a sexual thing. Oh, I suppose that some assholes like to make cat-calls and holler at the ladies, but for the most of us we are just content to watch the girls come and go. In fact, if the restaurant has a lot of women inside, I am drawn to eating there. It’s a male quirk I guess.

That being said, some things often minor things can really detract from a woman’s appearance. For instance, I have seen beautiful women, who walked and carry themselves well, wearing black high heel shoes with the red under-sole. Only to have a big white price tag sticker on the bottom.

Instead of watching her, and the way she walks, you end up focusing on that stupid price tag on the bottom of her shoe. Talk about distraction away from the image form!

Remember, appearance is more than just physical shape. It is also about grooming and attitude. Here’s a Chinese girl dressed in a simple dress. She is clean and well-groomed. Her hair is clean.  Her overall appearance is positive and nice. Who wouldn’t want to be with her?

I am not talking about it in a sexual way either. I am saying that she seems so nice. I would just love to take her to a coffee house and share a cheese cake with her. She would be nice to stroll along the boardwalk with. Wouldn’t you like to play in a casino with her? Come on!

In general, men and women are about the same in this regards. A woman wants a man that takes care of his appearance. She wants him to be well groomed, clean, and neat. She wants him to be tidy; to wear clean clothes and have good manners.

I think both men and women are the same in this regard.

Men are the same. We look for a woman that also takes care of their appearance. We like the women in our lives to be well-groomed, clean and tidy. Look at this beauty. Man! What a kind smile. She looks right at you and that mouth is so sweet. What is not to love?

Now, let it be well known that there are a wide range of American female body styles that I personally find quite alluring. This includes tall leggy women, to short chubby cuties. I think that many would be amazed at the things that they do, act, dress, or look like that I find amazingly attractive.

So I am not going to bad-mouth any of the particularly awesome women that live in America. I tell you the truth, there are some American women that think that they aren’t that good looking, that I would die to be with. For instance…

When I lived in Boston, there was a 30-something woman who worked in a brick-a-brack store in Brookline.  

She was very curvy, and maybe wore a size 18. She had shaved her hair really short, and wore really red lipstick. Not my type. Yet, I had such the hots for her. OMG! Every-time I tried to talk with her, I would get so flustered. She hadn't a clue how mesmerized I was for her.

It is sort of like how a woman who looks at my shoulders (and arms) and wonders how nice it would be to rest their head there and be held. I too look at women in this way. However, I think more in terms of having my head resting on their chest softly, and their fingers in my hair.

Men and women are more similar than we will admit to in public.

All this being said, I don’t like to be with a girl that is heavier than I am. It’s a personal preference. I also am not really attracted to a woman who is taller than I am either. I don’t know why, it just doesn’t do anything for me. We all have likes and dislikes. Mine are strong, please do not be offended;

• I don’t like to be with a woman that is heavier than I am.
• I am uncomfortable with a woman that is taller than I am.
• I also am a little skiddish about polydactylism. It’s not that I am revolted if the girl has seven fingers on each hand, but I’m a little freaked out about it.

I feel like this is similar to a woman that doesn’t want a man that is shorter than she is. Or that doesn’t want a man with a bald spot on the top of his head. Or, maybe a man that has a big scraggly beard that is full of crumbs and such. Or, maybe a man that chews chewing tobacco.

Men and women, we all have our preferences.

[2] Having Sex

Honestly, you have to be a fucking moron not to realize that men want sex.

Heck, it’s more that just that. We need it. It is genetically programmed into males and become the focus of everything that we do. From what career we enter, to what cars we drive, to how much money we make. The driving force behind it all is getting sex. Smart women understand this.

Any man who says that he doesn’t need, like or want sex, is either lying or homosexual. It is never the truth because sexual needs, and preferences are genetically encoded by the male chromosome. If you do not understand this, study biology 101.

What? You think that the woman’s “biological clock” is imaginary? It’s a well-known fact of life that transcends society and national boundaries.

Men and males have the same thing. Except is is called “the need to reproduce”.

This is how it works. Once we find an attractive woman that raises our interest, the very next thing we wonder about is having sex with her.

That is the way it is, and no SJW rewriting of culture is going to change the biology of males. In a way we are just like dogs and are led about by our “pecker” all the time. Smart women know this. Smarter women use it, and profit from it in numerous ways.

Online porn is not a multi-billion industry for nothing.

Prostitution still exists because men are men, no matter how hard society, religion and zealots try to stamp it out. Men are males with fundamental male interests and needs.

That being said, sex is an individual experience. What might be fantastic for one fellow, might be terribly boring for another. That is why there are fetishes.

Some men like big boobs, others like big asses, and still others like big feet. Some men are mesmerized by a nice set of legs, while others like strange and unusual sexual positions. And yes, some men really like huge women, and others like small tiny ladies. Everyone is different.

It doesn’t JUST vary from person to person, but from culture to culture.

Oh, and by the way, women like sex just as much as men do. It’s just cultural in how it manifests. For example, here is a cartoon discussing relationships between and man and woman in Thailand. LOL.

[3] Domestic Care & Concern

Here is where I sound like an old foggy-head man. However, a woman who is control of her home, tends to be in control of her life.

A woman who is in control of her home is in control of her life.

When I see that she takes care of her clothes, makes sure that the house is well run, ordered and that she knows how to cook, I start to get really interested in her. You see, in my mind, a woman who is in control of her life, would also be able to take control of my life as well.

Men will give their LIFE, their MONEY, and their very BEING to a woman deserving of it.

I once went on a date with a woman. She was nice, and attractive. To get ready for the date, I of course was presentable and clean, and I made sure that the car was washed and detailed. I picked her up. I then opened the door for her and buckled her in. (This was America, I'd never do it in China.) And we went off.

During the drive she pulled out some chewing gum and was chewing it. You know, for a pleasant tasting mouth. But, you know, she did something disturbing to me. She threw the chewing gum wrapper on my nice newly cleaned floor...

Later, after dinner, she couldn't find her lipstick, and emptied her purse on the table, and had to sort through old scraps of paper, receipts and brick-a-bract. The date ended, and we went our separate ways. 

We had fun, but I never wanted to be back with her again. You know, she probably doesn't understand why.

Men need a companion that they can turn to, rely upon, and have a family with. This means responsibility. We need a good strong willed woman without baggage and problems. Seriously, isn’t that what women look for also?

Now, of course, most modern and "liberated" women don't think like this in the Untied States. They are "independent". They can get and have their own careers, and live their own lives. Sure they can. And, be childless and unmarried into their 40's. 

The cost of being a "liberated" American female is quite steep.

It is not reality.

It is an artificially constructed narrative to seduce people into certain set behaviors. If you want to see what works for couples, then look at how families are set up in Africa. Look at how families are run in Poland. Look at how families exist in China. Five thousand years of experience won’t lie.

A traditional life WORKS. Most men WANT a traditional long-term relationship. They will give everything for it.

I fear many men, especially those afraid "to make the leap" in marriage are not convinced or ready to allow a woman to take over part or all of his life.

For a man, this is a BIG commitment.

He is not only letting the woman into his life, but he is giving her access forever to all that he earns. He is allowing her to dictate and instruct him on behavior, dress, and recreation. If the man is truly in love, and if he believes that this woman can take on that domestic role; she will GET EVERYTHING he can offer.

When a man gets married, he should be ready to share his life. This often means letting your wife take over portions of it so you no longer have to. A good, and strong, woman will be able to manage the home. If she can manage the home, she can help the man become a success.

We have a saying that goes something a little like this; “Behind every successful man is a strong woman.”

As I get older, I see how true this is. My friends who are all very successful, all have strong and well-organized wives. They all also have relinquished some things to the wife in exchange for her domestic support. This includes [1] all of the finances. [2] What he eats. [3] How he dresses. [4] His exercises, and [5] how they relate to family matters.

Oh, and please forget that nonsense Hollywood narrative of what a traditional conservative woman is. (Where a traditional woman wears Amish style hats, and lives a life right out of the “The Handmaids Tale”.) That is propaganda. Do you, yes YOU, personally know anyone that is really like this? You don’t. That’s my point. It is an artificial narrative. It’s all Bull Shit.

Today, a conservative wife might have a body covered in tattoos, ear and nose rings and purple hair.  She will wear leggings, take selfies on the smart-phone, and have multiple university degrees. My Lord, it isn’t about appearances. It’s about what is inside.

via GIPHY

That is true. It is about what is inside. It is the light that resides inside the woman’s body that that special man can see and can appreciate. yes it is. It is all about the energy that lies inside…

Chinese women, as well as African, Polish, Russian, and Indian women don’t sit around watching the boob-tube, or play games on the cell-phone all day long. They do what ever is necessary to make THEIR household a success.

• The manage the fiances.
• They budget the household.
• They allocate resources to jointly improve their standard of living.
• They make sure everyone is eating well and healthy.
• They are a model for their community and familial relations.
• They make sure that the husband has everything he needs.
• They push and help the husband grow as a provider.
• They instruct the husband on how to behave, and act.
• They make sure that the husband is presentable and carries himself well.

While they do occasionally play games, take selfies and have fun, their primary role is as a family manager. Traditional women are like full-on lionesses.

Over the years, in America, this has become treated like some kind of joke on contemporary television, on collage campuses, and in female magazines. That is a real shame. Because when both the husband and the wife work together for their family anything is possible. I tell you the truth. This is a fact. All of my friends that are successful work hand-in-hand with their wives in this manner.

Their wives take care of them.

They (the wives) set the pace, they control the family fiances. They establish the diet. They determine where to live. They set the goals. They establish the direction. The man in turn, give his everything to his wife in the complete 100% loyal trust that she will get both of them where they both want to be. For if you really do this, anything is possible.

[4] Companionship

I always look for companionship when I see a woman who interests me. I wonder if they would they be fun and interesting to be with. I wonder if this woman would be THE woman who I can devote my time with.

via GIPHY

I always look for companionship when I see a woman who interests me. I wonder if they would they be fun and interesting to be with. I wonder if we could talk about really deep and interesting subjects. I wonder if they would be willing to share in my hobbies. I look for companions.

This is true for most men.

Now, most women are confused with what this means. They search for romance. They could care less about companionship. This is sad, because romance comes from companionship.

Romance is spawned from companionship.

My wife and I took a trip to Thailand, and while on a drinking binge, the taxi driver drove us to the middle of no where and abandoned us there. We had to struggle and make our way back to the hotel. That bungle was an adventure, but my wife well remembers the rural village BBQ meal as the dawn broke through the clouds, and the orange light that shined on our toes in the sand. Romantic times are unplanned. They come from companionship.

A man wants a person to share his life with.

via GIPHY

Every man that I know (with cultural differences, of course) looks for a companion. We feel empty inside without a companion; a special friend that we can share our life with. This is so very important. Forget the James Dean Rebel narrative. All men need a special lady in his life. This lady is a person that he is very comfortable with and one that he wants to obtain experiences and adventures with.

The idea that men are worthless and useless, especially white traditional Americans, is a progressive narrative. It has been around since the late 1970’s, but has really picked up speed during the Bill Clinton years, and completely got out of hand during the Obama years. This narrative has been promoted in the American media and software for quite some time.  Check out this screen capture;

[5] A Woman’s Personality

Another thing that guys look for in a woman is personality. We are attracted to kindness, softness, sweetness, and compassion.

This is such a true statement that I feel that I need to repeat it. We are attracted to kindness. We are attracted to softness. We are attracted to sweetness. We are attracted to compassion.

When I come across a particularly militant American woman, I am immediately repelled. Especially when that person wants to lecture me on “white privilege” or some kind of populist nonsense that other weaker men accept. Don’t be a ugly bullyish brute of a woman. It’s not becoming.

Become the ideal. Your life is within your hands.

To be honest, when I meet a woman and I get to know them, I am looking for companionship. I look for kindness. I look for care. I wonder how they treat animals, and the waitress. I watch how they behave around others, and what they think about things.

When I meet a new woman, I wonder if they would like to accompany me for dinner, dancing, and any of the hobbies that I love to partake in. Since I love wine, a non-drinker and myself might not fit together well. Since I love animals, when I am talking to a woman, I wonder if they would also be part of my life with dogs and cats. Since I love tomatoes, bacon, and gardens I wonder what their thoughts are on these subjects.

The personality that a woman has eventually dominates a man’s interest. In other words, while a man is firstly attracted to a woman’s look, and sexual appeal, it is her personality that will keep him by her side forever.

Never forget this. A kind personality will be the glue when the stresses of life become too unbearable.

[6] Self Confidence

One of the most important traits for both men and women is self-confidence. This is something that is hard to describe, but is fundamental to success in life.

The truth is that I am not at all handsome, but women are interested in spending time with me. When I ask them why, they tell me that it is for other reasons. They just chuckle, and smile. They say I’m being silly. Sometimes they push me on my chest and say “oh, you know why!“.

I chalk up the reasons to being positive, happy, interesting and having good self-confidence.

Because that is exactly what turns me on in a woman.

When I take a woman out, I want to be able to talk about things. I want to be able to talk about tomato plants, favorite foods, dogs and cats, and thoughts about life. I want to be with a person that isn’t so fucking sensitive that I am afraid of being who I am. I want to be accepted for me, and if you don’t like it, to Hell with you. The same goes double for women.

I would NEVER tell a woman that she shouldn’t eat dessert because she needed to count her calories.  I would never order for a woman unless she specifically asks that I do so. I would never say anything hurtful to her in public, or in private. Any arguments that we might have would be honest, and intentionally scripted to avoid emotional out-lash. As such, I would not tolerate sitting down with a woman who wanted to lecture me on the injustices of the world. No one likes a scold. Really.

No one.

People with confidence typically try to help others. They don’t try to change anyone. This is because they are happy with who they are, and other people do not factor in their personalities. People with low self esteem are the opposite. They feel that they have to control everything around them.

Men and women want to be around people with high self confidence. They will be accepted by them as they are without question.

[7] Respect

I have dated American women who have berated me in public. I have seen them talk bad about me behind my back. I have seen them make jokes about me. I have seen them be rude to me to my face. I have seen them think it was fun making fun of me while I just sat there and took it.

That was years ago. Now I know better. Now I know my place in this world; good or bad, right or wrong. I just don’t tolerate that nonsense like I used to. No more.

Today, now; my tolerance for this nonsense is zero.

Let me explain. Let’s begin with a story about an experience I had while I was working at GM. This story illustrates that different places has different cultures, and failure to understand and adapt to that culture can have serious consequences.

In this case, the story revolves around the public display of a lack of respect of a wife towards her husband.

I once was involved in some business in Brazil. As such, I had to travel back and forth between the United States and Brazil. I was, at that time, working for Delco Electronics (It's who we are), which was (at that time) a division of General Motors. I was involved in a Car computer project (ECM) for CEV, which is a pretty big Automotive company within Brazil.

This event took place in Brazil.

One day, all of the foreigners on staff were invited to a big banquet with other white-collar workers at CEV. We had some pretty important people from GM there. It was held in a big auditorium within a equally impressively large restaurant and hotel complex. Everyone sat at these very large round tables with a nice table layout on a large white tablecloth. Each couple (for the most part, everyone came as a couple) would sit in groups of two at the table. Thus, maybe five to 6 couples would sit at the table.

At a given cue, all the ladies (the wives and girlfriends) got up and went to the buffet to get their man (husbands or boyfriends) dinner. They got up, went to the buffet, selected what their husbands would eat, and returned to the table. They would place the plate in front of their man with respect, and then go up and get their own food.

The men would accept the meal their wife chose for them, and began eating it. They would sit there and eat, while all the ladies were fussing about their food, and making sure that the man's plate was full. They, each one, was particularly careful in what they selected for their man's plate. Some wives selected mostly vegetables, while others made sure that the man had goodly portions of meat.

However, the local section manager, a man who came from Michigan, well his wife refused to go up. He kept on elbowing her. She refused. And everyone at the table noticed. In fact, people at the other tables were noticing as well. They started talking. But she was adamant.

She said things like "you're not my boss", "I'm not doing it, uh uh, absolutely not. No!", and "I don't care what other people think. Do it yourself.".

Eventually, he got up and joined the rest of the ladies at the buffet counter. He was the only man to get up. He was the only man to carry a plate back to the table. He was alone in the big hall that maybe held a few hundred key employees of the company. 

All of the key employees, the bosses and the supervisory staff, watched him do this. The President of CEV, the division managers, all the middle level managers, the supervisors, and all the engineers, and their secretaries all witnessed this. They all noticed and ate. Their local conversations at their tables became subdued and quieter.

Meanwhile, his wife sat there smugly and proudly. They ate in silence. The wife, sitting proud and strong. He sat there facing his plate and afraid to look up. This happened in front of everyone, while everyone else in the room kept glancing their way.

The dinner ended. Everyone went home.

The next workday, on Monday, he noticed that his parking space was being used by someone else. (Unless you have worked in GM, you don't know how important this is.) He went into the lobby, and the guards wouldn't look at him, and just waved him in. This was a big change from what he accustomed to.

It continued. His secretary didn't come in. Then, started coming in very late. She would not do anything that he asked. No longer would she make him a morning coffee. No longer would she answer him, or even talk to him.

No one responded to his emails. His work was getting piled up. Nothing was getting done. After a month, it got so bad, and I was sent down to look into the matter, as I held an important role in the joint-venture project. Our Division manager wanted me to look into this issue as it looked like the entire multi-million dollar project might collapse. That's right, millions of dollars of corporate investment was at risk.

So I flew down.

I talked to XXXXX. I talked to his secretary. I talked to the CEV Division Manager. I talked to the rest of the staff.

At first no one would open up. Oh, sure they were friendly to me. They showed me deference. They treated me well. But when it came to the subject about what was going on, everyone shut up. Obviously something was wrong. But no one told me anything.

Eventually, to make a long story short, I went out and started drinking with the CEV workers. That's always a great way to break down barriers and get to the heart of the matter. Of course, GM never approves of drinking, but this was back in the late 1980's and I was in another country and immersed in another culture.

Over some beers, the first person who let me know what was going on was his secretary. She looked at me straight in the eyes. She put out her cigarette. And she said in her broken English, loudly with defiance and pure hate;

"Why? You ask. Why? Because he's a fucking wimp. He's not, NOT, N-O-T a Man. He's castrado!"

Then she spit on the floor. Now granted, most ladies don't go to bars, smoke and spit on the floor. But she had a few beers, and was really agitated.

She wasn't just angry. She wasn't just pissed. She had this kind of deep burning ember of a rage that amazed me when it came out. I thought she was going to tear my throat out. She spoke viciously. She spoke in a way that the words were spit out venomously. 

It turned out that in Brazilian culture, the man must be the MAN of the house. It is a very traditional nation and has unspoken social rules. One of which is that the woman must look good for her man. She must do great things for their Man, and for her family. 

In Brazil, the Man is the titular head of the family. He controls everything. He is the "face" of the family. He is what everyone sees. However, the wife has full control over what goes on inside the house. She is the driving force that strengthens the man.

The Man is the head of the family, and he must LEAD. If he cannot be a Man; if he cannot act like a Man, and if he cannot control the behavior of his wife and family, then he is a loser.

in Brazil, you do not want to associate with losers. Not in the least. It is like being a leper.

The point in this is that he wasn't just a wimp to his wife. He was a wimp to society. From the secretary's point of view, she went from being a high assistant to an international boss, to the slave of a beggar. No, to someone worse than a beggar. Her status in the company fell right off the cliff.

Not only that, but that was true of everyone who associated with him. It was as if he had a serious contagious illness. no one wanted anything to do with him. No one would even talk to him.

It was like he was a child predator who had aids.

Shortly after that, I returned back to Indiana and talked with the Division Manager at Delco. We had a long and interesting talk. To cut down on all the details, let it be understood that my boss sent him back to the States. His two year stint in Brazil was cut short. 

He was only there for four months.

Now, this is important. The thing is, when he returned home, there was no role for him to fill. His old job and position was already filled. He was a high-priced expensive executive with no home. Yes, for a short while they put him on "overhead", but eventually he was told to leave. They gave him a severance package. And that was it.

Years later, I heard that he spent a few years unemployed. He could never go back to GM, and his experience was too specialized. Eventually he took up contract work at a much lower pay grade. I do not know what happened since then, except that I know that he had to give up his free car, and had to sell the house at a loss. I do know that he moved into a small apartment later on. And, well, that's about all I know about him and his situation.

+++

What does this all mean?

A good wife can make a man into a strong leader. He can become important, successful and wealthy. His family would profit and benefit. His life, and the lives of all those around him would improve. A weak or poor wife would do the opposite. A bad woman can destroy the life of the man that she is with. This can be through destruction of his self-esteem (which needs to be maintained for career success) to improperly managing family finances, to everything in between.

Men, choose your wives carefully.

In my little story, a true one at that, Mr. XXXXXX ‘s wife not only destroyed his role (and great career opportunity) in Brazil, but also wiped out his stable career at GM. Unable to find work, he had to settle for a different kind of labor, one without a career, without any kind of advancement. I am sure that his piece-of-shit wife berated him the entire time. Telling him what a loser he was for his life, and not taking responsibility for all the destruction that she herself, wrecked.

People. This is real life. This is not a television show. This is not a movie. This is not all unicorns prancing under a progressive rainbow, where gay people, and LGBT folk are all living in united harmony. This is the real frigging’ deal.

Learn, from my experiences, or don’t.

What does this mean?

Different societies have different roles for men and women. This is an important part of culture. When you come from one society where washing your ass with your left hand is acceptable, you might have trouble adapting to a society where you shake everyone’s left hand. Yikes!

Over the years, I have lived in numerous non-American societies where the man is treated very special. I had a girlfriend from Zambia, Africa who would prepare my dinner like I was the Head of State.

She would get dressed up after she cooked my meal, with makeup and attire, and feed me while I sat at the table like a King.

After making sure that I was well fed, she would clean up afterwards. While I sat there drinking my after dinner coffee.

Once you experience first-rate care, love and concern, you no longer tolerate anything less.

I had a girlfriend from Mexico that always made sure that I was well fed, and insisted that I am comfortable in “my” chair. In fact she guarded it so that no one else would be able to use it. She was there for me, how can I say this, on demand (if you catch my drift).

Once you experience first-rate care, love and concern, you no longer tolerate anything less.

My Chinese wife selects the food I eat, the clothes I wear, and the exercise I do. She wants me to be better than everyone else. She makes sure that I am up to it. She is strong like a tiger in this regard.

She treats me like a powerful mob boss. And, when I leave the house, I act that way in public.

Once you experience first-rate care, love and concern, you no longer tolerate anything less.

Yet, when I visit the United States, I see women acting just horrible. It is as if there is a war on males in the United States. It is disgusting.

To me, it is actually horrifying, as typically the women doing this look like big white water buffalo’s to me, acting like mean and horrible white-trash. They look like they belong on Jerry Springer, more than walking on the public street.

• The Women of America; Walmart

OK people, listen up.

As someone who is used and accustomed to being treated well by extremely beautiful women, I do not tolerate being treated poorly. This is most especially true for any woman that is not up to par in my (personal) attractiveness scale.

Once you experience first-rate care, love and concern, you no longer tolerate anything less.

I am not alone in this. This goes for all Americans who have traveled outside the Untied States. So, in my world, and in my reality, you can either adapt or leave. There is no room for the lowest common denominator.

• American women really need to “up their game”.
• American men need to stay away from disrespect in all forms.

via GIPHY

[8] Devotion to the Family

When both men and women are single, their interests are directed towards other things. The woman wants to be attractive, have fun, and maybe work on a career. A man, working on a career, have fun, and meet girls. Once both get married that all changes. They now have a family and together their family needs both of their attention.

This ability to focus on a family is not something that you learn about on a first date. It is something you discover over time and over numerous dates. The woman discovers just how comfortable the man would be letting her run things. The man discovers whether or not this girl is THE one who can build up a family for him.

It is not only about raising children, working on career goals, a devotion to the elders in the family and a shared sense of adventure. It is also about every aspect of a family. Just how willing is the woman to devote to building up a family, creating a home out of a house and just how important she places a family life in her scale of things.

Here is a transcription of a woman lamenting her decision to forego building a family and instead having a career.  Read it and cry.

Every Wednesday, the second hour of my national radio show is the “Male/Female Hour.” A few weeks ago, a woman named Jennifer called in.

For reasons of space, I have somewhat shortened her comments. Every young woman should read them. This is precisely what she said:

“Dennis, I want to get right to it. I’m 50 years old with four college degrees. I was raised by a feminist mother with no father in the home. My mother told me get an education to the maximum level so that you can get out in the world, make a lot of money. And that’s the path I followed. I make adequate money. I don’t make a ton of money. But I do make enough to support my own household.

“I want to tell women in their 20s: Do not follow the path that I followed. You are leading yourself to a life of loneliness. All of your friends will be getting married and having children, and you’re working to compete in the world, and what you’re doing is competing with men. 

"Men don’t like competitors. Men want a partner. It took me until my late 40s to realize this.

“And by the time you have your own household with all your own bills, you can’t get off that track, because now you’ve got to make the money to pay your bills. It’s hard to find a partner in your late 40s to date because you also start losing self-confidence about your looks, your body. 

"It’s not the same as it was in your 20s. 

"You try to do what you can to make your life fulfilling. I have cats and dogs. But it’s lonely when you see your friends having children, going on vacations, planning the lives of their children, and you don’t do anything at night but come home to your cats and dogs. I don’t want other women to do what I have done.”

I asked, “Was it hard for you to make this call?”

She responded: “It was. I want to be anonymous because I don’t want people that I know to really know my true feelings. Because you do act like ‘My career is everything. I love working.’ But it’s a lie on the inside for me. It’s unfortunate. I didn’t realize this until it’s too late. I don’t know if it’s too late. I would like to find somebody to go on vacation with.

“You have other concerns when you get older and you live alone. Who’s going to take you to your medical appointments? If something should happen to you, there’s no other income there to help you. These are things you don’t understand when you’re in your 20s because you don’t think you’ll ever get old and have health problems.

“I’m stuck now because I go to work every day. I smile like I love it, but it’s very painful to not plan a vacation with someone. It’s painful to not have a Thanksgiving dinner with someone. You sit home alone and you do nothing. I avoid my friends now that have children because I have nothing in common with them.

“Somebody asked me the other day, ‘Why did you stay single and never have kids?’ There’s answers: Because I was brainwashed by my mother into this. But it’s hard and it’s shameful to tell people, ‘I don’t know. I ran out of time.’

“There’s not a good answer for it except: ‘I was programmed to get into the workforce, compete with men, and make money.’ Supposedly, that would be a fulfilling life. But I was told that by a feminist mother who was divorced, who hated her husband—my father.

“She tried to steer me on what she thought was the right path, but feminism is a lie. That’s what I want women to know.

“I didn’t realize this until late in life. I want to tell women: Find someone in your 20s. That’s when you’re still very cute. That’s when you’re still amiable to working out problems with someone. It’s harder in your 50s, when you’ve lived alone, to compromise with someone, to have someone in your home and every little thing about them annoys you because you’re so used to being alone. It’s hard to undo that, so don’t do what I did. Find someone in your 20s.”

I said, “I’m thinking of transcribing your call and making it a column.”

“Do that, Dennis. I want to help whoever I can,” she said.

-From the Daily Signal.

A man looks for a partner. He searches for someone to make his life COMPLETE. He looks for a life partner. It is biologically programmed into him.

A devoted woman will do whatever it takes to make the family work.

Here’s two micro videos showing hard-working, but poorer girls, supporting their families and building their homes. For in China, the man MUST work, and the woman MUST take care of the family. Many times, that means building of finishing up a home while the man works far away.

A woman does what ever it takes. She is fearless. She is capable. Help her and empower her. You will receive blessings on your life beyond compare.

Let me explain these videos.

Many times a couple will get married in a poor village. The husband would have to accept a job in a far away city, while the wife stays home. Many times the wife would get the paychecks from the working husband and use that money to build their home. This is not at all uncommon.

She would take this money and budget it.

First thing on the agenda would be building and making a house. Sure she might get help from uncles and classmates. However, ultimately, much of the work would be up to her. So many of those houses in rural China were physically made by wives in support of their families.

People! This is what a traditional family looks like.

The man works and the woman stays home and takes care of the family. For young families, the man works like crazy in far away cities and sends the bulk of what he makes to his wife. He, in turn, lives either in small dorms or barracks or, alternatively inside very tiny apartments like this one…

All the money he makes goes to his wife.

Maybe he will only make a few hundred yuan ($30). All of it goes to his wife. The Chinese women that I know differ from the American women. A Chinese wife would rather have 100% of what her man makes – even if it is only $30, rather than a small portion, say 5% of what he makes. That’s true even if he makes a million dollars.

I don’t quite understand it. Really. Because the millionaire would give the wife more money than a mere $30. It doesn’t make sense economically nor financially. But, there you have it. That is the way it is.

• Chinese traditional women demand 100% from their man.
• American progressive women look to men as a resource.

Culturally, Chinese women are very different from American women.

It is not a scene out of progressive liberal propaganda out of the American urban enclave. These are not little waifs that huddle in fear, or scenes out of the Handmaid’s Tale. This is real life. This is how the rest of the world lives. Open up your eyes to the reality.

And for Pete’s sake, get your friggin’ nose out of the propaganda being spoon-fed to you by the American elite.

[9] Spirituality

Look for a spiritual woman. I always look for a woman who understands that the universe is bigger than we understand. I look for a woman who can feel the presence of God.

I am a Catholic, but I am not referring to a religious person. I am referring to a spiritual person. My first wife was a Baptist. My second (the one who retired me) was agnostic, but raised as a Catholic. My current wife is a Buddhist. Find a woman who is spiritual.

Check to see if she is really spiritual. Watch how she treats animals. Watch how he feels about tradition, families. Pay attention to the role that she has in her own family. Just how functional or dysfunctional it is. Pay attention.

[10] Shared Values

Finally, I look for a woman that has the same values as I do. We do not have to agree politically, but the fundamentals must be comparative. If I am going to give her 100% of all my money, I should be able to trust her that she won’t use it on coke, crack, and casino trips.

If I am going to devote my life to one singular woman, I expect her to do the same. If I am planning to have a family, I expect her to want a family as well. If I want to travel and have an adventurous life, then I would expect her to want it as well. Alternatively, if I want to have a quiet sedentary life in a rural cottage, I would expect her to want it as well.

Shared dreams, shared values, and shared life are fundamental to a couple’s success.

Conclusions

We, men and women, can be choosy in who we select to be our mate. It is important because your mate, the person you marry, will have the greatest influence in your quality of life.  Therefore, we need to choose wisely.

This is true for both men and women.

I live in friggin’ communist China and the women here are extremely attractive, with long beautiful hair, mesmerizing eyes, tight butts and astounding chests, and are very traditional at home. They take care of their man and their family. When I am with these wonderful ladies they treat me like I am a VIP and I am treated like a God. I cannot stress how wonderful being treated special is.  Most especially from an amazingly attractive woman.  I mean, it is just amazing.

Conversely, many (but thankfully, not all) the women in “free” America look like they belong on the set of Jerry Springer. Are rude, crass, selfish and treat me like a piece of nothing. The differences between women in China is just astounding. I mean, what the heck happened?

For me, and most men would agree, you pick the wife that is suitable for you. Let the rest of the world howl. All that matters is what you decide and the reality that you create.

• You can get an ugly, fat, foul-mouthed woman who will constantly make fun of you.
• You can be with an attractive, kind, caring and thoughtful woman. She takes care of herself, and will treat you like a king.

You choose. Red pill or blue pill.

via GIPHY

You can choose the lady that is most suitable for you. If you cannot find that woman in your town, go to a different town. If you cannot find her there, go else where. Eventually you will find that girl. I promise you.

Finally, here’s a little secret. If you are having trouble, do this. Go to church. Many of the most eligible women attending church. They are God-fearing, traditional women who would make fine, just real fine, wives.

Women in General

There are amazing women all over the world. That includes the United States. It is my belief that the vast bulk of American women are great and kind and wonderful. It is just that the bad ones are so very awful that it makes everyone look bad.

I now live in China. So what I am going to do is post some micro-videos of some attractive and sweet Chinese girls to help illustrate that there is no set “type” of lady that is perfect. Everyone comes in different shapes and sizes. Each one is different and each one has their very own personal charms.

Enjoy.

Women come in all sizes and shapes. They come in all kinds of attitudes and personalities. I love every single one. Please, I urge you the reader not to get too hung up on the media narrative of what is attractive, instead find ladies that appeal to your own sensibilities. You might be surprised how refreshing and pleasant it is…

Here’s another gal. Sorry, but I am in China. So this is all that I have to work with. Here’s another Chinese girl. Isn’t she just adorable?

I am a big sucker for a nice smile and feigned shyness…

The point here is that attractiveness comes in all kinds of shapes and sizes. There is no set standard. If I were to specify some idea on what is attractive, I would have to say that it is the sum total of what a particular woman is. For each woman has their own charms that are displayed uniquely.

I, for one happen to like so many different kinds of women. I like different body types. I like different kinds of attitudes, and I enjoy a big healthy smile. Here is a nice Chinese gal with an impressive chest jumping around and having fun…

Each woman has their own personality. This personality can be seen how they move, and the their selection of the music that they play. Personality is one of the key aspects of attractiveness. Be kind. Be happy. Smile a lot. Let your inner being glow.

The point that I am making here is that there is no set formula on what makes a woman attractive to a man. The woman must be strong, be themselves, be kind. Sooner or later the man that fits her personality will come around. It could be you. So, be the best you can be, and look for a mate that is the best that she is. Together you will have a life that will be marvelous.

Take Aways

• Men look for a mate that will best match his needs as a man, and who will be fitting for his future family.
• Women who cannot fit within his expectations will need to find other men to be with.
• These men, the ones that do not have traditional values, will tend to be short-term affairs or long-term relationships that will not conclude in a marriage. That is because the men’s absolute needs are not being met.
• This post lists ten needs that a man has.

FAQ

Q: What if men have different needs than what is listed here?
A: That is fine. There are all kinds of people and all kinds of men. It is the difference that are important. Not what makes us all the same. Personally, I don’t like going into a Starbucks in NYC and then going into one in Shenzhen. They are all the same. I like to go to a local pizza establishment in NYC and eating a New York style pizza. I also like going into a family restaurant in Shenzhen and eating some delicious dumplings. It is the differences that are important.

Q: So don’t you think that you are full of Misogyny? Aren’t you just defending the Patriarchy? Aren’t you Cisgender?
A: I don’t know. Maybe.

If so, what’s wrong with it? What is it YOUR business?

I don’t hate women. I love women. I love my wife. I love my mother and my sisters. I love my girlfriends, and their friends.  Besides, what is wrong with a Patriarchy? Can you explain that?

Your assumptions are all terribly faulted, and you discuss them as if they are proven and have merit. They don’t.

Q: What does “check your privilege” mean?
A:  In 1998, American feminist and anti-racism activist Peggy McIntosh wrote an essay entitled “White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack.” In McIntosh’s sense, privilege is a set of special provisions that a person acquires — or doesn’t — because of their identity.

If you are a rich, white, heterosexual man, then you’ll have it easier through life than a working-class, lesbian, woman of color. The exhortation to check your privilege became popular on internet blogs dealing with social justice themes as a reminder that we are not all dealt the same hand in life.

What the real truth is that it is an insult, and veiled threat that says “you had it easy in life”. I personally find it extremely insulting. As the person saying this has absolutely no idea what I had to do to get where I am now.

Q: What does Heteronormative  mean?
A: Heteronormative  was coined by the writer and academic Marina Warner in 1991.  It means “a world view which regards gender roles as fixed to biological sex. It treats heterosexuality as the normal and preferred sexual orientation.” Which is pretty much an accepted norm globally.

However the intention is to use distorted group think to redefine the narrative and to use this word as an insult. I am a traditional man, and I think that women are attractive to me. This fact, apparently, makes me “heteronormative”.

No problem. So was George Washington. So was Jesus Christ. So was Gandhi. So was Jimmy Carter. So was Bill Clinton. So was Ronald Reagan. So were both my parents and all of my grandparents.

So, a non-heteronormative person is a societal abnormality.

Posts Regarding Life and Contentment

Here are some other similar posts on this venue. If you enjoyed this post, you might like these posts as well. These posts tend to discuss growing up in America. Often, I like to compare my life in America with the society within communist China. As there are some really stark differences between the two.

Posts about the Changes in America

America is going through a period of change. Change is good… that is, after it occurs. Often however, there are large periods of discomfort as the period of adjustment takes place. Here are some posts that discuss this issue.

More Posts about Life

I have broken apart some other posts. They can best be classified about ones actions as they contribute to happiness and life. They are a little different, in subtle ways.

Stories that Inspired Me

Here are reprints in full text of stories that inspired me, but that are nearly impossible to find in China. I place them here as sort of a personal library that I can use for inspiration. The reader is welcome to come and enjoy a read or two as well.

Articles & Links

You’ll not find any big banners or popups here talking about cookies and privacy notices. There are no ads on this site (aside from the hosting ads – a necessary evil). Functionally and fundamentally, I just don’t make money off of this blog. It is NOT monetized. Finally, I don’t track you because I just don’t care to.

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