Here we discuss the two types of families. There are really only two ways to run a family. There are no “shades of grey” in this matter. Families are run in either one or the other methods.
Throughout all of human history, and all over the world (independent of culture), families fall into only two distinct categories. These categories are simple but fundamental.
- Ordered, structured family (traditional)
- Unordered, and unstructured family (progressive)
This information is not available anywhere else! As far as I know, this is the only place where you will find this information in English, and devoid of any religious dogma.
But first…
Let’s cover why this information is not easily available.
Technical Confusion
The fundamental two types listed above describe how the families operate.
But, this is of no concern to governments. They want methods to make it easy to classify families to tax them, to “improve their lives”, or to provide substantive benefits to.
They have devised other methods.
These other ways are complex and serve no purpose other than to confuse. In these other arrangements, you have families classified by the number and types of children, and the marriage states of the primary caregivers, as well as the gender variations, present in the families. It is silly. Really.
All are nonsensical as far as the operation of a family goes.
It is like arguing over the benefits of the percentage of chocolate in brownies.
They are nonsensical simply because the classifications have no practicality. At least from the point of view of the people within the families. This type and kind of classification has limited utility.
They are useful by government agencies in the distribution of benefits. They are useful in the creations of studies and academic papers. However, in terms of the lifestyle and benefits of the families themselves, this classification has no benefit.
You can scour the internet looking in a vague hope towards understanding the fundamental nature of human families. You can search and search. But you won’t ever find out why human families form relationships and parental units. Nor will you discover the forms that they take and why. Instead, you will find all sorts of trivialities. Just useless information. Useless.
Such as this…
Is your life improved by knowing these various classifications? If so, please tell me how.
It’s sort of like classifying dogs.
- Dogs are big, or small.
- Dogs have hair or not.
- Dogs have different colored patterned fur, or not.
- Dogs can bark, or not.
In the case of human families and their familial arrangements, you will come across terms of “nuclear family”, and “extended family” and “foster family”, etc. These different titles only serve government agencies for the distribution of welfare benefits, they do not address familial operation.
For in familial operation, all families can be classified in but one of two distinctly different types.
The Two Classifications
The two types of classifications of what a family is are very straight forward.
Humans form one of two types of families. There are no “shades of grey” in this matter. They are either [1] traditional, conservative families or [2] progressive, liberal families.
While there are variations in both types of families given cultural, social, and ethnic norms, for the most
Here we discuss the two types.
A Changing Ideal – Progressive
Let’s start with the prevalent type in America today. This is the progressive liberal family structure.
It was not always this way. To understand why it is this way today, you need to know a little about American history.
This is a recent familial structure.
Historically, Americans have overwhelmingly had a Conservative Traditional familial structure for the last two hundred years. However, all this started to change around the first decade of 1900. The major driver for this change was the destruction of the 4th amendment when the 16th amendment was passed, and the imposition of the income tax burden and the Federal Reserve.
This legislation eroded the strength of a traditional conservative family unit. Both parents had to work to pay the tax burden. For once it became acceptable to tax and regulate, everything became taxed and regulated.
Fees and charges started to pop up everywhere, and it became no longer viable to maintain a traditional conservative family in the Untied States. This is because in a traditional conservative family, one person works outside the home. Not two.
Once it became acceptable to tax, an avalanche of taxation and regulation fell upon the American citizenry.
Whether intentional or as a consequence of the actions from Washington DC, American families started to restructure the family. They restructured the family around the constantly evolving financial realities of the United States.
It wasn’t only federal taxes. It was ever increasing state taxes; ever increasing regulation and fees. All of which were making things more expensive. Not to mention the absolutely incompetent managing of the American dollar by the corrupt Federal Reserve.
How can you deny my narrative…
As the Federal Reserve managed the money, inflation skyrocketed. the value of the dollar decreased, and it became absolutely necessary for both parents to work.
America has been decaying rapidly since the 1950s with almost every aspect of society failing—and things are only about to get even worse. While this is a showcase of how good things can be lost so easily, it is also a demonstration of what can be possible under a patriarchal order with proper social values.
While things may seem impossible to change at the moment, remember that history has always been full of unanticipated events that quickly turned things around to transform the society at large.
Think of how much China has recovered (and now thriving) since their devastating Communist past from just a few decades ago.
-Return of Kings
As the parents labored outside of the home, no one was there in the home. There was no one establishing roles, rules or standards for the children to learn and abide by.
The absolute “killing blow” to traditional family life in America came about int he 1970’s when the SJW feminist movement became popularized and promoted in the mainstream media. A collapse of the traditional family came shortly afterwards.
Without parents around to teach the children, the children were forced to learn on their own.
Instead, the Children learned, not from their parents, but rather from what was at hand and available to them. Often this was other children and the television and movies.
- Television portrayed what life was.
- Other children portrayed how to live life.
- School teachers instructed how to behave.
As a result it became normal (in the United States) to have families with no structure. And thus, we have the situation today in most homes in the United States…
The Progressive Liberal Family Structure
A “Progressive Liberal” family unit is one without structure.
We pretty much never had sit-down family meals, and if we did it was from a restaurant, we ate in silence, and then we’d just wander off from the table one by one to watch TV or go on the computer or something. It’s not that we hate each other or anything, it’s just pretty much the way it’s always been. -PolkaDotsOnThursday
All or no family members might work. There are no rules, or if there are rules, they are temporary and subject to change. In a progressive liberal family, the structure, organization, and behavior of the family are all constantly changing.
This has been the primary and dominant structure in the United States since the SJW feminist movement of the 1960s.
In a progressive liberal family, typically both the male and the female might work or not. (Though, there might be not any differences in gender, though.) There will not be any roles, gender or rules.
The earnings of each worker are not shared. It is kept by the individual. Though there is often some kind of sharing arrangement for the payment of rent, and how to take care of the children. Which, at the whim of the individual members, might change without notice.
Often the individual members of a progressive liberal household will have a very positive view of their opinions and their “open mindedness”. They desire to prove to others that their familial organization and their roles within it are superior to others. Often believing in their own superiority.
The primary characteristics of a progressive liberal family is one of independence. If you need your clothes washed, you wash them yourself. Yes, you can add the clothing of others to your load, if room permits, but the primary characteristic is one of selfish independence.
This trickles down into everything.
There are no roles or responsibilities, at least not formal ones. If the room is messy, you clean it when needed. If a chore needs to be taken cared for, your deal with it only when necessary. If bills need to be paid, they are rarely shared, but rather the primary user of that monetary allotment is responsible for the billing.
Clothing is often an afterthought. People wear the same clothes outside as they do inside. The same goes for shoes. Often underwear is infrequently washed, and shoes are rarely shined or repaired.
Children are not cared for in any meaningful way. That role is farmed out. Whether it is via a day-care, a nanny, or a school, the parents rarely take responsibility for their children. They allow others and permit others to teach and direct their children. The role of parenting is often outsourced.
Meals are often purchased through restaurants or take out. Rarely they are prepared at home. If they are, then it is unusual for them to be anything other than “my food for me”. Family meals are not shared activities. Most progressive liberal families have a diet that relies heavily on fast-food, snacks and easy to make home preparations.
Meals can be eaten anywhere, and often are. While there might be a “dining room”, most meals are eaten alone in front of a television set, or a computer. They can be eaten in the living room, or bed room, or standing up in the kitchen.
"The so-called "sexual revolution" intentionally destroyed all of the social constructs that had been put together over thousands of years of human history." -Karl Denninger at Market-Ticker
Traditional Conservative
In a traditional, and conservative family there is a structure. There are roles. There are rules of behavior. This might vary somewhat, in minor differences, from one society to another, but the basic organizational structure stays the same.
- The father supports the family monetarily.
- The mother supports the family domestically.
This is the basic setup. The father might be a construction worker, or a college professor. He might be rich or poor. He might be religious or agnostic, but the family unit is timeless.
Here is an Amish family that maintains a traditional family…
In a traditional family unit, the father or male head of the household works and labors. His earnings, or the result of his efforts, are given to his wife & family. This includes the vast bulk of his earnings. This includes his time, his relationships, and all of his attention.
Make no mistake about this. All of his money goes to his family.
This financial arrangement where the finances are controlled by the wife is time tested. The wife, who is in control of the finances, budgets for the well being of the man, and the children. She plans. She saves and she supports the man in what ever he needs to be able to make more money.
God forbid I go into someplace like Harbor Freight with a big wad of cash. Yeah, give me a sec and I’ll back right up to the front door to making loading all this crap I don’t need into the back of my rig easier. This is why the Wifely Unit takes care of the money around here. I’m horrible about that shit . That is why our bills get paid on time and why I now actually have a killer credit score. -Busted Knuckles
The wife, thusly, takes the money and maintains the family with it. She provides the food, cares for the children, makes sure the household is maintained, and the family standing with the rest of the community.
She in in charge of how the children grow and develop. As a result, a mother in a conservative family will tend to be less protective of her children. Instead, wanting them to have the scrapes and cuts early on to learn from the experience.
A progressive mother, one who farms out the parenting responsibilities, will try to coddle the child and protect them at the expense of teaching them. Which is why in the United States today, you have overly coddled youth.
The conservative traditional mother is responsible for the growth and development of the child. It is not farmed out to others.
Traditionally, the Seneca Nation's economy was based on hunting and gathering activities, fishing and the cultivation of corn, beans, and squash. These vegetables were the staple of the Haudenosaunee diet and were called "the three sisters". Seneca women generally grew and harvested varieties of the three sisters, as well as gathered medicinal plants, roots, berries, nuts, and fruit. Seneca women held sole ownership of all the land and the homes, thus the women also tended to any domesticated animals such as dogs and turkeys. Women were in charge of the kinship groups called clans. The woman in charge of a clan was called the "clan mother". Despite the prominent position of women in Iroquois society, their influence on the diplomacy of the nation was limited. If the "clan mothers" did not agree with any major decisions made by the chiefs, they could eventually depose them. Seneca men were generally in charge of locating and developing the town sites, including clearing the forest for the production of fields. Seneca men also spent a great deal of time hunting and fishing. This activity took them away from the towns or villages to well-known and productive hunting and fishing grounds for extended amounts of time. These hunting and fishing locations were altered and well maintained and not simply left to grow as "wild" lands. -Great Dreams discussing the role of women in a traditional conservative Seneca society.
Same-sex conservative family
A traditional conservative family can ALSO be one with same-sex parenting roles.
In same-sex parenting schemes, a traditional conservative family would have one parent taking on the role as the “father” and the “breadwinner”, while the other partner takes on the role of the “mother” and takes on the domestic chores.
It is not gender specific.
It really isn’t. The conservative traditional lifestyle is actually same-sex friendly. It is role dependent. Not gender dependent.
The primary characteristics of a traditional conservative family
The father earns the money that the household lives off of. In traditional families, he gives 100% of his income to his family.
Families need both a nurturing female mother figure as well as a strong male fatherly figure in their lives. Both roles are important. The progressive liberal narrative is one where this dichotomy is portrayed as evil, such as in the Gillette razor commercial. But this is a terrible distortion of reality.
Men need to be strong and courageous.
The mother will be responsible for good nutritious meals.
That includes household budgeting, selection of what the family eats, and the preparation and presentation of the food. In many conservative traditional
In fact, I will go out on a limb here and state that this is one of the defining criteria used to determine the type of family that is present in a household.
Our dinner hour continued my Italian family's practice of eating together every night - plus big gatherings on Sunday afternoons. For our own dinner hour, the time between 6 and 7 p.m. was inviolable - as in "sacrosanct" - and all my kids' friends knew about it. No phone calls, but the friends had a standing invitation to join us. Besides the meal, the table was set for our humanity; we talked, laughed, fought, yelled and even cried. So indelible was the dinner hour that Carla wrote about it for a college admission essay.
Leah, a close childhood friend, chimed in: "My mom was super militant about the family dinner and she was an amazing cook who had the time to plan lovely dinners so it always worked out. I loved it and remembered it fondly with the goal in mind to replicate.
However my babysitter leaves at 5 p.m., and I am a decent cook who basically has an hour and change to whip something together for the family. I am with Jenna, in that my goal is try to do proper family dinner three to four times a week, and the rest of the time we wing it. If Mike is on the road like this week, I cook for the kids but eat my dinner standing at the kitchen counter."
-SF Gate
The wife will have end-of-day clothing laid out for the man of the house, and for the children to wear when they arrive home. Shoes will rarely be worn inside,
The wife will be responsible for holidays and family traditions. This will include decorations and festivities whatever they might be.
The wife is in charge of the diets for the family members. She is responsible for the food, selection, and preparation. She will make sure that the family gets nutritious and delicious meals. She will often have meals of fish, chicken and salads as opposed to fast food and pizza meals.
The family members would eat roasts, pork chops, have mashed potatoes and cabbage as sides along with peas and other fresh vegetables that the woman would prepare. Since everyone is eating healthy, it would be highly unusual for the children or any of the family members to get fat, let alone obese.
Because of the importance placed upon the family unit; the food, the structure, the roles
In traditional conservative families, “outside meals” held in restaurants are a special event. And when that event happens, the restaurants are selected carefully with the idea of ceremony. It is not an afterthought. Though, fast food might be eaten from time to time, it is not considered to be “a meal”.
In fact, junk food is rarely tolerated outside of special occasions and carefully metered by the woman of the house. For instance, if potato chips are served, it would be with a healthy dip. If hamburgers are cooked it will be part of a BBQ get-together. If pizza is served, there will be a salad, and fruit with it.
- Orange juice with water instead of soda pop.
- Grapes and peanuts on the table instead of candy.
- Leftovers in the fridge for easy quick snacks.
- Banning of certain unhealthy foods.
- Metered access to heavy sugar-rich foods.
In a traditional household, the woman would prepare the lunches for the family where possible. If the mother decides that the school lunches are adequate, she may opt to allow the children to eat outside the family home. But, the meals would need to pass her muster first.
She would also be in charge of what the man of the house eats.
The Woman is in charge…
She is in charge of what he eats, what he wears, how he wears it, and his behavior in public. The man, with full trust of his wife, would follow her instructions and direction as he knows that she has every faith in his ability to concentrate on making money without the other distractions that could tear away from his attention.
It is easier on the man this way.
His stress level goes way down when he knows that his home is his refuge and everything is taken cared for. He can concentrate on the business tasks at hand; making money for his family.
"After three years of happy marriage, and getting stressed out by her job in a busy payroll department, she decided in 2018 to turn back time — and live like a 1950s housewife. That’s when Holte, 30, transformed her Hillsboro, Oregon, home into a suburban shrine to the pre-ERA era, busying herself cleaning, making dresses using vintage patterns — and getting dinner on the table by the time her husband, Lars, 28, gets home from his job as an engineering manager. “I feel like I’m living how I always wanted to. It’s my dream life and my husband shares my vision,” she says as a vinyl Doris Day soundtrack plays in the background. “It is a lot of work. I do tons of dishes, laundry and ironing, but I love it and it’s helping to take care of my husband and that makes me really happy.” - The woman quits her job to spoil her husband like a 1950s housewife
This is how a traditional conservative household works. No, it is not like the horrible image from Hollywood like what is portrayed in “The Handmaids Tale”. It is instead a shared responsibilities that leverages the strengths of each partner equally.
All of this seems so old fashioned to us Americans, but that is only because we have been living in a progressive liberal society for at least five decades if not longer. (Sorry to say, and I know many of the conservative
The truth is that this is the way that families run their affairs in
Comparisons
There are various memes that you can find on the internet that makes comparisons between the type types of families. They are often make between the ways it manifest individually. Here, the message is stark and harsh.
The comparisons between the two different types of families are very start and obvious. Here is a very “quick and dirty” summary of just some of the characteristics that can be used to compare the two different types of families.
Comparative Table
| Attribute | Progressive | Conservative |
| Meals | Fast Food/Snacks | Planned & Healthy |
| Clothing | As needed | Cleaned & pressed |
| Family Roles | None | Defined |
| Household | Place to sleep | Refuge |
| Family Rules | None | Defined & Strict |
| Family Support | None | Complete |
| Multi-generational | Rare | Common |
| Budget | None | Maintained |
| Children | Farmed out | Supervised |
It is interesting to note that most of the wealthiest families in the United States maintain a traditional conservative family household. This includes those that (for various political reasons) strongly support a progressive liberal household lifestyle for the vast bulk of Americans. While they themselves maintain a conservative traditional household behind closed doors.
Some things that a Progressive Liberal family cannot do
Once a family falls into the progressive liberal “trap”, they will have a difficult time enforcing any type of traditional conservative family rules. It’s simple really. When people live a life without rules, they resent any rules when they are put in place. It’s human nature.
Thus, here are some things that progressive liberal families have to struggle with. Traditional conservative families won’t experience these problems.
The things that progressive liberal families have trouble with include…
- Formal dinners at dinner time. Most progressive liberal families have a very difficult time with this. They find it difficult to set aside time and have difficulty in getting everyone to recognize the importance of communal dinners. When they do manage to set time aside, it is often short, and the experience becomes a mere formality. It is never a daily event.
- Chores and roles. Progressive liberal families are disgusted by roles and greatly resent taking on any kind of responsibility. they have a very negative view of any kind of male or female role and avoid it where at all possible. As a result, the household tends to become cluttered, messy, dirty, and disheveled.
- Saving Money. Most progressive liberal families have an understanding that what a person earns is theirs to do with they wish. Thus it is very difficult for them to save money. Especially saving money for family purposes.
- Discipline. When children are raised in a progressive Liberal household; one where there are no rules, the children become unruly and directionless. They often develop emotional and behavioral issues. This becomes a burden to the rest of the family.
Romantic Dreams
As a child, we naturally yearn for the conservative traditional lifestyle and way of life. Women yearn to have a child and look for a man “who will be theirs and theirs alone. A man who gives them everything they have and more“. This is a traditional conservative lifestyle.
In a traditional conservative man, he yearns for (what we men refer to) as “the one”. The one woman who would understand him. The one woman who he can say anything to, and be totally accepted for who he is. A woman who would never say anything bad about him, not to his face, and most certainly not behind his back. He yearns for a woman who would “have his back”, and he would give her his everything.
He would give her his love, and no one else would get it. He would give her all his money. All of it. Every cent, and allow her to invest it, budget it, and utilize it. She would be the one.
Men desire a faithful wife, and a strong family. He wants to do his best at work, and then when he comes home, he desires a place to call his own.
In a world where everyone from his boss to the rules and regulations at HR, to the government, has something to say about him and how he lives his life. Where they say how he can dress, cut his hair, trim his beard, and park his car. Where they can tell him what to do with his time, and yell at him and punish him for things beyond his control. He needs to know that “his home is his castle“. A place, a refuge, where he is the king and treated as such.
The traditional conservative lifestyle and family provides this.
Elements of a Conservative Traditional Home
You might find the following characteristics within a traditional conservative household…
- “His” chair.
- “Her” bathroom.
- House shoes beside the front door.
- A pantry that is full. (A consequence of budgeting.)
- Well behaved, and respectful, children.
- Hours where the kitchen is “closed” from use.
- Formal sit-down meals.
China
I like to use China as the benchmark in this regard. But other conservative nations are the same such as Poland.
Women’s role / Man’s role – There is a clear line in what is expected of both sides. However, where some feminist may find it offensive, I love it! Sure no problem I can clear the dishes off the table and clean and put them away, but you can go outside and pick up the dog poo, mow the lawn, and vacuum the stairs. -One Month in Poland
There are social services in Poland. However, there is nothing like the need as in the Americas. Think of the Amish. The adults take care of the young and the young take care of the old. In Poland families stay together, no matter what. They help even more distant relatives. Women do not divorce their men and take care of them and so there are no broken families. Of course there are social problems but because of the stronger family structure nothing like you find in the West. People take care of each other. -Why living in Poland is like living in Hollywood
There are some very good reasons for using Poland as an example. Take note. They are [1] a world power, they are [2] traditional and [3] have moved away from socialist communist progressive liberal behaviors in the late 1970s and [4] fully embraced traditional (Chinese) conservative lifestyles.
Please kindly note that this post has multiple embedded videos. It is important to view them. If they fail to load, all you need to do is to reload your browser.
China is a very traditional and conservative nation.
The family units are all traditional and conservative, and they safeguard and maintain this role with a degree of intensity that is surprising. One of the most surprising aspects of this role is the acceptance of historical and period costumes and roles.
The Chinese love the role play and you can often see them in public taking on the traditional conservative role for all to see and record. It’s kind of amazing to me, and so I am presenting it here. Yes, most Chinese wear conventional clothing and work clothing. However, there is a serious love for Chinese history and the Chinese culture that transcends my ability to vociferate.
The Chinese LOVE their history. They love their nation. They love their lifestyle.
Here are some examples…
I love how the little children watch transfixed while the couple hugs each other. Don’t you think that this will make a lasting impression that they will carry on with them when they get older?
It’s sort of like how the welfare mothers influence their children to ask for free stuff from the government. As it is their birthright.
This is different, in that you want to reinforce the positive. You want to mitigate the negative, and provide direction, hope and rules for young impressionable people to follow.
Here’s another couple. This time it is a mother and her child in a park. To us, from the West, this seems so odd and silly. But this happens in China, and no it’s not all that rare. Role-play is increasingly becoming common place and fits the Chinese lifestyle.
It’s an Asian thing. Just like the people in Japan like to dress up in traditional clothing. Just like they do in Thailand, and just like they do in Korea.
A traditional conservative life is viewed as something that is fundamentally important for familial success in life.
And… here’s a grocery store. Check out the other people in the market.
You know, pay attention to the reactions of the workers in the grocery store. It’s the same thing all over China. When you dress up in traditional Chinese clothes, everyone loves to watch you. China is a nation where there is no such thing as “cultural appropriation”.
They love their culture and wish to reinforce it.
I dare say, can you just imagine trying to do this in the United States? You might end up with a
High School graduation. No progressive liberals here…
And of course, here is a mother with her son at an airport. In China. You will note how well behaved the baby is, and how demure the mother is. This is the picture of a traditional conservative family structure.
It is COMMON all over China.
In America, the progressive family is what is most common. You can see the influence of it everywhere. From Walmart to CNN. From the people elected to Congress to the condition of the roads and what happens to new capital projects… such as high-speed rail.
Notice how she doesn’t buy fast food for them to snack on. Instead, she goes to a juice bar and gets some fresh healthy juice. A mother is responsible for the health and well-being of everyone in the household.
It is her duty.
Conclusion
Because the girls take so good care of you, make you feel happy, like a real man and the boss in the relationship and in turn expect you to support them financially that makes them bad girls? That’s complete nonsense. If someone doesn’t like the idea of giving and taking then maybe he’s better off dating an American, British, German, French, or Australian woman who works full time, brings in decent money but then expects you to do half of the household, half of the cooking, half of the dish washing, half of the children duties, half of everything. And doesn’t take care and show interest in you nearly as much as a Khmer girl would do it on a daily basis. -Cambodia Red Cat
Life is about living. Many times we have adjusted to the life that we lived simply without thinking. We never considered what it must have been like for our parents or our grandparents when they were our age. We don’t give it any thought. We just accept what is, and assume that things have always been this way.
It need not be this way.
Look at the world around you. Appreciate it more. Appreciate your family more, and your friends more. Understand that the life that you are living now does not have to be the life that you must have. You can change it. You can make the life into an ideal that you want.
You just need to know a little bit about your family history and why things are the way that they are. With that knowledge comes power, and ultimately…
Change.
A Final Word
The traditional conservative family is prevalent all over the world because it works. It works successfully, and enables a family to thrive together through all the changes that it might encounter.
Non-traditional family structures have been tried all over the world. They have been tried, and documented, as far back as the middle ages, and they have always failed. They eventually die out.
The family members all eventually set up their own families and follow the traditional conservative model.
The Reason for this is simple.
For a progressive liberal family structure to persist through social upheavals and change, it requires outside assistance. The family unit is not cohesive. It is “every man for himself”. This reliance on outside assistance is fatal. Most especially when all the surrounding families are also progressive liberal in composition.
The
It’s all about this…
Posts Regarding Life and Contentment
Here are some other similar posts on this venue. If you enjoyed this post, you might like these posts as well. These posts tend to discuss growing up in America. Often, I like to compare my life in America with the society within communist China. As there are some really stark differences between the two.
More Posts about Life
I have broken apart some other posts. They can best be classified about ones actions as they contribute to happiness and life. They are a little different, in subtle ways.
Stories that Inspired Me
Here are reprints in full text of stories that inspired me, but that are nearly impossible to find in China. I place them here as sort of a personal library that I can use for inspiration. The reader is welcome to come and enjoy a read or two as well.
Articles & Links
- You can start reading the articles by going HERE.
- You can visit the Index Page HERE to explore by article subject.
- You can also ask the author some questions. You can go HERE to find out how to go about this.
- You can find out more about the author HERE.
- If you have concerns or complaints, you can go HERE.
- If you want to make a donation, you can go HERE.