When Hollywood still knew how to make movies; It Came From Beneath The Sea (1955)

Enter Ray Harryhausen, who I discovered myself by accident. In many  ways, he changed my life. Harryhausen has told us, time and again, the  story of how he saw the original "King Kong" on the big screen when he  was just a kid, of how he was inspired by Willis O' Brien's pioneering  special effects and of how that lead him to where he is today. In case I  end up in the movies, I foresee myself telling people the story of how I  was inspired by Harryhausen's work. Hopefully, the chain will go on. I  am kidding, of course, but it's a nice thought anyway.

While most  kids in the 90's would be oblivious of stop-motion (with CGI growing  popular), I was in awe of it. There is a sense of life in stop-motion  animated creatures. It's the kind of life that much of CGI lacks. No  matter how smoothly or realistically your computerized monster moves,  there is something more subtle that stop-motion captures better.  Harryhausen's creations seem to be thinking, or feeling, not just  moving. They have personality, an attribute that so many of today's CG  monsters lack. 

...

Harryhausen deserved better films and higher budgets (his films were  so low budget that at several times, the full extent of his vision  wasn't realized. It is now popular trivia that the octopus in "It Came  From Beneath the Sea" actually had only six tentacles as they couldn't  afford to build a model with eight). Though the films have inspired  several of us, it was, in most cases, only the special effects that kept  the films from being mediocre B-movie fare. It is sad that he didn't  work with greater talents. Imagine what would have come out of such  collaborations.

This master of animation was snubbed by the  Academy year after year for each of his films, the films not even  getting nominations for their special effects, until, years after his  retirement; they gave him an honorary Oscar, which, I suspect, is more  of an apology than a token recognition. I've read somewhere that  Harryhausen reasons his films didn't get recognized by the Academy when  they were released because they were shot in Spain, and not in  Hollywood. It makes sense. 

-Great Movies of my Childhood

It Came From Beneath the Sea was the first of several fruitful collaborations between producer Charles H. Schneer and special-effects wizard Ray Harryhausen. He wasn’t yet at the top of his game, but what he did provide inspired all of us young boys to fight enormous radioactive tentacled octopus.

The major creature in this low budget movie is a giant, six-tentacled octopus, which is galvanized into action by an H-bomb test.

Worse still, the monster is highly radioactive, rendering useless the normal means of defense against it.

Yikes!

It came from beneath the sea.

Scientists Donald Curtis and Faith Domergue team with atomic-submarine commander Kenneth Tobey to halt the creature’s progress before it begins to attack major coastal cities. Alas, the monster manages to reach San Francisco, wreaking havoc on the Golden Gate. It’s sort of an American version of Godzilla.

Good Gosh and darn it!

Movie Review 1 

I’m a simple guy, I see a movie about a gigantic killer octopus and I immediately buy it on DVD. I love campy 1950’s Cold War Sci-fi flicks. I find them to be genuinely fun and engaging. However, just like every sub genre, there’s good and bad. “It Came from Beneath the Sea” is a middling film.

Anytime the giant Octopus wreaks terror on screen, the film becomes a whole lot of fun. However, when the film substitutes these moments for a half baked love triangle the film quickly loses interest.

As with every giant monster film of the ’50’s the film is filled with commentary about living in an active nuclear world. Radiation from military testing has brought about this devastating monster. It then falls to a couple of scientists and a Navy officer to defeat the monster before it brings about the total destruction of San Francisco.

Most of the characters in this film fall into pretty standard genre cliches. There’s really nothing noteworthy about them; they’re fine. Where this film works best is in the action scenes. For the most part they’re really well done, it’s pretty obvious that the filmmakers are using miniatures, but there’s an undeniable charm to them. The creature design is also well done, and the use of stop-motion is effective in bringing the monster to life.

It came from beneath the sea.

If you’re into goofy giant monster films, then this is the kind of film you’d enjoy. For a general audience, this is the type of film that’ll bring about a lot of eye-rolling. “It Came from Beneath the Sea” isn’t the best monster film I’ve ever seen, but it does an effective job. I just wished there was a little more monster action.

Movie Review 2

Released the year after the influential monster movie classic Godzilla, It Came from Beneath the Sea was one of several attempts from around the world to capitalize on the success of Godzilla.

It Came from Beneath the Sea is one of the more well known giant monster movies to come out from this period.

I didn’t really know much about this film apart from the fact that it was following on Godzilla’s coat tails and that special effects wizard Ray Harryhausen was involved. While It Came from Beneath the Sea is far from being perfect, I still found it to be a fairly entertaining film.

It came from beneath the sea.

The film sees a giant octopus, whose feeding habits have been affected by radiation from H-bomb tests, rises from beneath the Mindanao Deep to terrorize the Californian coast.

The plot for It Came from Beneath the Sea is pretty good, with some interesting moments. It is a plot that seems really exciting on paper, but the execution needed to be much stronger than it actually is.

Throughout the film, there is a bland and monotonous voice-over that insists on dumping needless exposition. It also focuses heavily on the military trying to decide what to do about the giant octopus. These scenes are really bland and drain any and all excitement out of the film.

It came from beneath the sea.

There is also a love triangle between a sexually aggressive naval officer played by Kenneth Tobey, who declares rather than acts, and two scientists. One of the scientists is Professor Joyce, played by Faith Domergue, who lights up every scene that she appears in and is easily the best thing about this film. Joyce is a strong female character, unusual for this type of film from this era. She is independent, progressive and quickly brushes off any advances as soon they are laid on her. An underrated feminist icon if ever there was one! The other main highlight of the film is, of course, Harryhausen’s special effects. The whole sequence involving the giant octopus’s attack on the Golden Gate Bridge is fantastic. Harryhausen’s effects may be a little dated, but they are wonderfully charming. The giant octopus may not be his best work but, as always, it is a highlight. The direction from Robert Gordon is really solid and holds the film together well.

Overall, It Came from Beneath the Sea is a solid enough giant monster film. The plot is fun, but I feel that the execution needed to be stronger in order to get the mot out of the concept. The short runtime, however, makes it watchable and the Golden Gate Bridge attack is a satisfying conclusion. The performances are fairly average, with Faith Domergue being a particular highlight. Gordon’s direction is good and Harryhausen’s effects are great. It Came from Beneath the Sea is an enjoyable old school monster movie. A fun, if rather unremarkable, film!

Movie Review 3

Some Ray Harryhausen films you watch solely because of Ray Harryhausen‘s “Dynamation” and little else. This isn’t just such a film, but it might be the best example of it.

This would be Ray‘s first collaboration with producer Charles H. Schneer and they would go on to make some of Harryhausen‘s most famous films together including Jason and the Argonauts and of course Clash of the Titans.

This being their first though, it ends up also being their weakest, but they obviously lived and learned as they also never worked with director Robert Gordon again. Don’t worry about him though, he went on to make Tarzan and the Jungle Boy so his legacy is cemented.

It came from beneath the sea.

All of Ray‘s effects are great fun, how could a giant octopus attacking the Golden Gate Bridge not be?

Everything else though is a bit wooden, unimaginative and in some cases just plain weird. There’s this odd love triangle between Kenneth Tobey, Faith Domergue and Donald Curtis that plays out less like two men fighting over a woman and more like they’re… well… possibly trying to get her at the same time? I’m not sure what the hell was going on there, but it does add to the weirdness of the film.

Movie Review 4

It Came From Beneath The Sea is the kind of giant monster movie I can enjoy mostly guilt free. No appliances glued or stapled onto animals – just good old fashioned, cruelty-free Ray Harryhausen stop-motion. It’s how Willis O’Brian did it – it’s how the movie industry had done, and at that point in the ‘50s it had worked pretty well so far.

The premise is your good ol’ fashioned ‘50s creature feature – atomic testing woke up something big from the depths. The creature is now menacing the world of humanity and must be stopped. In this case, the “something” is a giant octopus, and it’s discovered by the US Navy’s first nuclear attack submarine.

It came from beneath the sea.

The film also has the twist of “the scientist nobody believes until it’s too late” being a woman, and her claims being dismissed not due to lack of plausibility, but explicitly because of institutional misogyny.

It’s still problematic – the scientist, Leslie Joyce (Faith Domeregue) ends up romancing her sexual harasser, but at least the film had the stones to call out institutional misogyny as a systematic issue that is a big problem – demonstrated by it costing lives.

The film’s effects are great – the climactic rampage through San Francisco at the end of the movie is very wonderfully done. It’s not quite at the levels of Godzilla (which hasn’t been made yet), but it does get things across.

It came from beneath the sea.

Otherwise, the movie is fine – it’s a brisk 74 minutes that doesn’t overstay its welcome. It’s a movie that’s enjoyable in its own right and, were it to end up on the new MST3K (or, for that matter, on Rifftrax), it’d also be a very fun watch there.

Final Conclusion

Well, aren’t you all tired of the pandemic, the Russian ultimatium that wasn’t, the Uighurs, and everything else? I certainly am. I jsut spent the most part of this morning breaking down the USA Western Bloc failures to interrupt the BRI. I’ve got to tell youse guys. I want a break.

I’m off to smunch on some fine, fine Suechuan food.

Sichuan cuisine is one of the most famous local cuisines in China. It has a wide range of materials and a variety of dishes. It is famous for its good use of spicy, and its unique cooking methods and strong local flavor is famous at home and abroad. Sichuan cuisine has become a brilliant pearl in the history of Chinese food culture and civilization.

I really want to get back to some OOPART stuff. I’ve got about 30 or so in the pipe in various stages of readiness.

Not to mention some stuff on world-line travel, and affirmations, and some Domain stuff as well.

Let’s just have some fun. Put aside the great Geo-political changes and just have fun.

Here’s some ideas for fun…

Idea one – Food.

A nice sandwich in a diner that you smuch with a cup of coffee or a more interesting beverage of your choice.

A nice sandwich.

Idea two – Art.

Visiting an art museum. Go out for the day and then get an icecream, or a coffee or a nice dinner out.

Visit an art museum.

Idea three – Local historical Museum.

Art is not your thing, eh…

Go out to the local historical museums in your local area. They are there, you just need to figure out where. Check out all the interesting curiosities that you find there.

Go out to the local historical museums in your local area.

They are everywhere.

You just got to find them.

Go out to the local historical museums in your local area.

Idea four – Go outside.

When was the last time that you took a spin on a bicycle. I’ll bet that for many MM readers, it’s been a long time. But I will tell you that when you get back on that bike it will be a true joy (provided there’s no snow about). LOL.

But if there is, then how about a snowmobile ride, a cross-country ski trip, or some downhill sking. Do something outdoors.

Do something outside.

Idea Five – snuggle.

With a loved one, a cherished pet, or a new friend. Just go out and snuggle.

Snuggle.

Idea six – Watch old movies.

Surprise yourself. Dig up an old movie and watch it. Just do it.

A scene from the movie “The Last of Shela”.

Have fun everyone.

Make the best of your life. One last idea…

Idea Seven – Be Groovy

It’s NEVER too late to be groovy, baby.

Groovy.

Do you want more?

You can find more articles related to this in my Movie Index.

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Law 5 of the 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene; So much depends on reputation, guard it with your life (Full Text)

The photo above reminds me so very much of the old Doc Savage paperbacks that I used to read when I was in Middle School. This is a promo image of Dwayne Johnson in one of his Jumanji movies.

Dwayne is an interesting person, but the thing is that few people hate him. He’s a kind soul, or at least tries to portray that image. And without that image, he’s just another smuck that went from weight-lifting to movies.

It’s difficult to keep your reputation. Certainly no one knows that better than myself who now has the ugly reputation of being a nasty filthy child predator now living inside the filthy evil communist Hell-hole.

And that’s the way it works, you know.

To destroy a person completely, you need only destroy his reputation so that no one wants to associate with him, employ him, listen to him, or be friends with him. Then alone, shunned, starving, and destitute he can die inside the hole you made for him to crawl into.

This is a great chapter by Robert Greene. Read it and learn from it.

LAW 5

SO MUCH DEPENDS ON REPUTATION—GUARD IT WITH YOUR LIFE

JUDGMENT

Reputation is the cornerstone of power. Through reputation alone you can intimidate and win; once it slips, however, you are vulnerable, and will be attacked on all sides. Make your reputation unassailable. Always be alert to potential attacks and thwart them before they happen. Meanwhile, learn to destroy your enemies by opening holes in their own reputations. Then stand aside and let public opinion hang them.

OBSERVANCE OF THE LAW I

During China’s War of the Three Kingdoms (A.D. 207-265), the great general Chuko Liang, leading the forces of the Shu Kingdom, dispatched his vast army to a distant camp while he rested in a small town with a handful of soldiers.

Suddenly sentinels hurried in with the alarming news that an enemy force of over 150,000 troops under Sima Yi was approaching.

With only a hundred men to defend him, Chuko Liang’s situation was hopeless.

The enemy would finally capture this renowned leader.

Without lamenting his fate, or wasting time trying to figure out how he had been caught, Liang ordered his troops to take down their flags, throw open the city gates, and hide.

He himself then took a seat on the most visible part of the city’s wall, wearing a Taoist robe.

He lit some incense, strummed his lute, and began to chant.

Minutes later he could see the vast enemy army approaching, an endless phalanx of soldiers.

Pretending not to notice them, he continued to sing and play the lute.

Soon the army stood at the town gates.

At its head was Sima Yi, who instantly recognized the man on the wall.

Even so, as his soldiers itched to enter the unguarded town through its open gates, Sima Yi hesitated, held them back, and studied Liang on the wall.

Then, he ordered an immediate and speedy retreat.

THE ANIMALS STRICKEN WITH THE PLAGUE

A frightful epidemic sent To earth by Heaven intent to vent Its fury on a sinful world, to call It by its rightful name, the pestilence, That Acheron- filling vial of virulence Had fallen on every animal. 

Not all were dead, but all lay near to dying, And none was any longer trying To find new fuel to feed life’s flickering fires.

No foods excited their desires; No more did wolves and foxes rove In search of harmless, helpless prey; And dove would not consort with dove, For love and joy had flown away.

The Lion assumed the chair to say: “Dear friends, I doubt not it’s for heaven’s high ends That on us sinners woe must fall. Let him of us who’s sinned the most Fall victim to the avenging heavenly host, And may he win salvation for us all; For history teaches us that in these crises We must make sacrifices. Undeceived and stern-eyed, let’s inspect Our conscience. As I recollect, To put my greedy appetite to sleep, I’ve banqueted on many a sheep Who’d injured me in no respect, And even in my time been known to try Shepherd pie. If need be, then. I’ll die. Yet I suspect That others also ought to own their sins. It’s only fair that all should do their best To single out the guiltiest.


“Sire, you’re too good a king,“the Fox begins; ”Such scruples are too delicate. My word, To eat sheep, that profane and vulgar herd. That’s sin? Nay. Sire, enough for such a crew To be devoured by such as you; While of the shepherds we may say That they deserved the worst they got. Theirs being the lot that over us beasts plot A flimsy dream-begotten sway.”

Thus spake the Fox, and toady cheers rose high, While none dared cast too cold an eye On Tiger‘s, Bear’s, and other eminences Most unpardonable offences.

Each, of never mind what currish breed, Was really a saint, they all agreed.

Then came the Ass, to say: ”I do recall How once I crossed an abbey-mead Where hunger, grass in plenty, and withal, I have no doubt, some imp of
greed. Assailed me, and I shaved a tongue’s-breadth wide Where frankly I’d no right to any grass.”

All forthwith fell full cry upon the Ass: A Wolf of some book-learning testified That that curst beast must suffer their despite, That gallskinned author of their piteous plight.

They judged him fit for nought but gallows-bait: How vile, another’s grass to sequestrate! His death alone could expiate A crime so heinous, as full well he learns. The court, as you’re of great or poor estate, Will paint you either white or black by turns.


THE BEST FABLES OF LA FONTAINE, JEAN DE LA FONTAINE, 1621- 1695

Interpretation

Chuko Liang was commonly known as the “Sleeping Dragon.”

His exploits in the War of the Three Kingdoms were legendary.

Once a man claiming to be a disaffected enemy lieutenant came to his camp, offering help and information. Liang instantly recognized the situation as a setup; this man was a false deserter, and should be beheaded.

At the last minute, though, as the ax was about to fall, Liang stopped the execution and offered to spare the man’s life if he agreed to become a double agent.

Grateful and terrified, the man agreed, and began supplying false information to the enemy. Liang won battle after battle.

On another occasion Liang stole a military seal and created false documents dispatching his enemy’s troops to distant locations.

Once the troops had dispersed, he was able to capture three cities, so that he controlled an entire corridor of the enemy’s kingdom.

He also once tricked the enemy into believing one of its best generals was a traitor, forcing the man to escape and join forces with Liang.

The Sleeping Dragon carefully cultivated his reputation of being the cleverest man in China, one who always had a trick up his sleeve.

As powerful as any weapon, this reputation struck fear into his enemy.

Sima Yi had fought against Chuko Liang dozens of times and knew him well.

When he came on the empty city, with Liang praying on the wall, he was stunned.

The Taoist robes, the chanting, the incense—this had to be a game of intimidation.

The man was obviously taunting him, daring him to walk into a trap.

The game was so obvious that for one moment it crossed Yi’s mind that Liang actually was alone, and desperate.

But so great was his fear of Liang that he dared not risk finding out.

Such is the power of reputation.

It can put a vast army on the defensive, even force them into retreat, without a single arrow being fired.

For, as Cicero says, even those who argue against fame still want the books they write against it to bear their name in the title and hope to become famous for despising it. Everything else is subject to barter: we will let our friends have our goods and our lives if need be; but a case of sharing our fame and making someone else the gift of our reputation is hardly to be found. 

Montaigne, 1533-1592

OBSERVANCE OF THE LAW II

In 1841 the young P. T. Barnum, trying to establish his reputation as America’s premier showman, decided to purchase the American Museum in Manhattan and turn it into a collection of curiosities that would secure his fame.

The problem was that he had no money.

The museum’s asking price was $15,000, but Barnum was able to put together a proposal that appealed to the institution’s owners even though it replaced cash up front with dozens of guarantees and references.

The owners came to a verbal agreement with Barnum, but at the last minute, the principal partner changed his mind, and the museum and its collection were sold to the directors of Peale’s Museum.

Barnum was infuriated, but the partner explained that business was business —the museum had been sold to Peale’s because Peale’s had a reputation and Barnum had none.

Barnum immediately decided that if he had no reputation to bank on, his only recourse was to ruin the reputation of Peale’s.

Accordingly he launched a letter-writing campaign in the newspapers, calling the owners a bunch of “broken-down bank directors” who had no idea how to run a museum or entertain people.

He warned the public against buying Peale’s stock, since the business’s purchase of another museum would invariably spread its resources thin.

The campaign was effective, the stock plummeted, and with no more confidence in Peale’s track record and reputation, the owners of the American Museum reneged on their deal and sold the whole thing to Barnum.

It took years for Peale’s to recover, and they never forgot what Barnum had done.

Mr. Peale himself decided to attack Barnum by building a reputation for “high-brow entertainment,” promoting his museum’s programs as more scientific than those of his vulgar competitor.

Mesmerism (hypnotism) was one of Peale’s “scientific” attractions, and for a while it drew big crowds and was quite successful. To fight back, Barnum decided to attack Peale’s reputation yet again.

Barnum organized a rival mesmeric performance in which he himself apparently put a little girl into a trance.

Once she seemed to have fallen deeply under, he tried to hypnotize members of the audience—but no matter how hard he tried, none of the spectators fell under his spell, and many of them began to laugh.

A frustrated Barnum finally announced that to prove the little girl’s trance was real, he would cut off one of her fingers without her noticing.

But as he sharpened the knife, the little girl’s eyes popped open and she ran away, to the audience’s delight.

He repeated this and other parodies for several weeks.

Soon no one could take Peale’s show seriously, and attendance went way down.

Within a few weeks, the show closed.

Over the next few years Barnum established a reputation for audacity and consummate showmanship that lasted his whole life.

Peale’s reputation, on the other hand, never recovered.

Interpretation

Barnum used two different tactics to ruin Peale’s reputation.

The first was simple: He sowed doubts about the museum’s stability and solvency. Doubt is a powerful weapon: Once you let it out of the bag with insidious rumors, your opponents are in a horrible dilemma. On the one hand they can deny the rumors, even prove that you have slandered them. But a layer of suspicion will remain: Why are they defending themselves so desperately?

Maybe the rumor has some truth to it? If, on the other hand, they take the high road and ignore you, the doubts, unrefuted, will be even stronger. If done correctly, the sowing of rumors can so infuriate and unsettle your rivals that in defending themselves they will make numerous mistakes. This is the perfect weapon for those who have no reputation of their own to work from.

Once Barnum did have a reputation of his own, he used the second, gentler tactic, the fake hypnotism demonstration: He ridiculed his rivals’ reputation.

This too was extremely successful.

Once you have a solid base of respect, ridiculing your opponent both puts him on the defensive and draws more attention to you, enhancing your own reputation.

Outright slander and insult are too strong at this point; they are ugly, and may hurt you more than help you.

But gentle barbs and mockery suggest that you have a strong enough sense of your own worth to enjoy a good laugh at your rival’s expense.

A humorous front can make you out as a harmless entertainer while poking holes in the reputation of your rival.

It is easier to cope with a bad conscience than with a bad reputation.

Friedrich Nietzsche, 1844-1900

KEYS TO POWER

The people around us, even our closest friends, will always to some extent remain mysterious and unfathomable.

Their characters have secret recesses that they never reveal.

The unknowableness of other people could prove disturbing if we thought about it long enough, since it would make it impossible for us really to judge other people.

So we prefer to ignore this fact, and to judge people on their appearances, on what is most visible to our eyes—clothes, gestures, words, actions. In the social realm, appearances are the barometer of almost all of our judgments, and you must never be mis led into believing otherwise.

One false slip, one awkward or sudden change in your appearance, can prove disastrous.

This is the reason for the supreme importance of making and maintaining a reputation that is of your own creation.

That reputation will protect you in the dangerous game of appearances, distracting the probing eyes of others from knowing what you are really like, and giving you a degree of control over how the world judges you—a powerful position to be in.

Reputation has a power like magic: With one stroke of its wand, it can double your strength.

It can also send people scurrying away from you.

Whether the exact same deeds appear brilliant or dreadful can depend entirely on the reputation of the doer.

In the ancient Chinese court of the Wei kingdom there was a man named Mi Tzu-hsia who had a reputation for supreme civility and graciousness.

He became the ruler’s favorite.

It was a law in Wei that “whoever rides secretly in the ruler’s coach shall have his feet cut off,” but when Mi Tzu-hsia’s mother fell ill, he used the royal coach to visit her, pretending that the ruler had given him permission.

When the ruler found out, he said, “How dutiful is Mi Tzu-hsia!

For his mother’s sake he even forgot that he was committing a crime making him liable to lose his feet!”

Another time the two of them took a stroll in an orchard.

Mi Tzu-hsia began eating a peach that he could not finish, and he gave the ruler the other half to eat.

The ruler remarked, “You love me so much that you would even forget your own saliva taste and let me eat the rest of the peach!”

Later, however, envious fellow courtiers, spreading word that Mi Tzu- hsia was actually devious and arrogant, succeeded in damaging his reputation; the ruler came to see his actions in a new light.

“This fellow once rode in my coach under pretense of my order,” he told the courtiers angrily, “and another time he gave me a half-eaten peach.”

For the same actions that had charmed the ruler when he was the favorite, Mi Tzu-hsia now had to suffer the penalties.

The fate of his feet depended solely on the strength of his reputation.

In the beginning, you must work to establish a reputation for one outstanding quality, whether generosity or honesty or cunning.

This quality sets you apart and gets other people to talk about you.

You then make your reputation known to as many people as possible (subtly, though; take care to build slowly, and with a firm foundation), and watch as it spreads like wildfire.

A solid reputation increases your presence and exaggerates your strengths without your having to spend much energy.

It can also create an aura around you that will instill respect, even fear. In the fighting in the North African desert during World War II, the German general Erwin Rommel had a reputation for cunning and for deceptive maneuvering that struck terror into everyone who faced him.

Even when his forces were depleted, and when British tanks outnumbered his by five to one, entire cities would be evacuated at the news of his approach.

As they say, your reputation inevitably precedes you, and if it inspires respect, a lot of your work is done for you before you arrive on the scene, or utter a single word.

Your success seems destined by your past triumphs.

Much of the success of Henry Kissinger’s shuttle diplomacy rested on his reputation for ironing out differences; no one wanted to be seen as so unreasonable that Kissinger could not sway him.

A peace treaty seemed a fait accompli as soon as Kissinger’s name became involved in the negotiations.

Make your reputation simple and base it on one sterling quality.

This single quality—efficiency, say, or seductiveness—becomes a kind of calling card that announces your presence and places others under a spell.

A reputation for honesty will allow you to practice all manner of deception.

Casanova used his reputation as a great seducer to pave the way for his future conquests; women who had heard of his powers became immensely curious, and wanted to discover for themselves what had made him so romantically successful.

Perhaps you have already stained your reputation, so that you are prevented from establishing a new one.

In such cases it is wise to associate with someone whose image counteracts your own, using their good name to whitewash and elevate yours.

It is hard, for example, to erase a reputation for dishonesty by yourself; but a paragon of honesty can help. When P. T. Barnum wanted to clean up a reputation for promoting vulgar entertainment, he brought the singer Jenny Lind over from Europe.

She had a stellar, high-class reputation, and the American tour Barnum sponsored for her greatly enhanced his own image.

Similarly the great robber barons of nineteenth-century America were long unable to rid themselves of a reputation for cruelty and mean-spiritedness.

Only when they began collecting art, so that the names of Morgan and Frick became permanently associated with those of da Vinci and Rembrandt, were they able to soften their unpleasant image.

Reputation is a treasure to be carefully collected and hoarded.

Especially when you are first establishing it, you must protect it strictly, anticipating all attacks on it.

Once it is solid, do not let yourself get angry or defensive at the slanderous comments of your enemies—that reveals insecurity, not confidence in your reputation.

Take the high road instead, and never appear desperate in your self-defense.

On the other hand, an attack on another man’s reputation is a potent weapon, particularly when you have less power than he does.

He has much more to lose in such a battle, and your own thus- far-small reputation gives him a small target when he tries to return your fire.

Barnum used such campaigns to great effect in his early career. But this tactic must be practiced with skill; you must not seem to engage in petty vengeance.

If you do not break your enemy’s reputation cleverly, you will inadvertently ruin your own.

Thomas Edison, considered the inventor who harnessed electricity, believed that a workable system would have to be based on direct current (DC).

When the Serbian scientist Nikola Tesla appeared to have succeeded in creating a system based on alternating current (AC), Edison was furious.

He determined to ruin Tesla’s reputation, by making the public believe that the AC system was inherently unsafe, and Tesla irresponsible in promoting it.

To this end he captured all kinds of household pets and electrocuted them to death with an AC current.

When this wasn’t enough, in 1890 he got New York State prison authorities to organize the world’s first execution by electrocution, using an AC current.

But Edison’s electrocution experiments had all been with small creatures; the charge was too weak, and the man was only half killed.

In perhaps the country’s cruelest state-authorized execution, the procedure had to be repeated. It was an awful spectacle.

Although, in the long run, it is Edison’s name that has survived, at the time his campaign damaged his own reputation more than Tesla’s.

He backed off.

The lesson is simple—never go too far in attacks like these, for that will draw more attention to your own vengefulness than to the person you are slandering.

When your own reputation is solid, use subtler tactics, such as satire and ridicule, to weaken your opponent while making you out as a charming rogue.

The mighty lion toys with the mouse that crosses his path—any other reaction would mar his fearsome reputation.

Image:

A Mine Full of Diamonds and Rubies.

You dug for it, you found it, and your wealth is now assured.

Guard it with your life. Robbers and thieves will appear from all sides. Never take your wealth

for granted, and constantly renew it—time will diminish the jewels’ luster,

and bury them from sight.

Authority:

Therefore I should wish our courtier to bolster up his inherent worth with skill and cunning, and ensure that whenever he has to go where he is a stranger, he is preceded by a good reputation.... For the fame which appears to rest on the opinions of many fosters a certain unshakable belief in a man’s worth which is then easily strengthened in minds already thus disposed and prepared. 

(Baldassare Castiglione, 1478-1529)

REVERSAL

There is no possible Reversal.

Reputation is critical; there are no exceptions to this law.

Perhaps, not caring what others think of you, you gain a reputation for insolence and arrogance, but that can be a valuable image in itself—Oscar Wilde used it to great advantage.

Since we must live in society and must depend on the opinions of others, there is nothing to be gained by neglecting your reputation.

By not caring how you are perceived, you let others decide this for you.

Be the master of your fate, and also of your reputation.

Conclusion

Let Dwayne Johnson tell you himself.

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In praise of sculpted figurines

Here, we are going to take on some lighter fare. We are going to look at the world of scale figurines. And what a world it is!

Essentially, these are dolls in a certain precise scale that is accurately reflective of the person being depicted. As such they are really marvelous if there is a person or representation that appeals to your sensibilities.

“Rocket” from the movie “Guardians of the Galaxy”.

And since many of these figurines are of limited production builds (maybe less than a few thousand per model), they become collector items, that only get more valuable as time moves on.

These figurines run the range from pop cultural icons, to Hollywood characters, television characters, to historical figures, to fantasy presentations and to everything in between.

Scales

Action figures come in all shapes and sizes and although it’s easy to break out a ruler and simply measure one of your action figures, that’s not going to help you to understand the scale references often used by toy companies and long-time collectors. Besides, it’s way cooler to tell a fellow collector on an action figure forum that you picked up some nice 1:10 scale figures. It’s all part of the lingo.

The term scale refers to the size ratio to a normal-sized object. In this case, we’re talking about smaller representations of the human figure. For standardization purposes, toy companies refer to the usual ideal human figure as being 6 feet tall (we’re usually talking about heroic figures such as Batman or Darth Vader, hence the height). Therefore an action figure that is also six feet tall would have a 1:1 ratio. A three-foot-tall action figure would have a 1:2 ratio and so on.

Over the years, some standards scales have been used in the action figure world. Take a look at the most common, starting from largest to smallest.

1:4 Scale (approx. 18″)

This scale is one of the largest common scales for action figures and is technically reserved for dolls if we’re going by the doll/action figure definition, as they often have “real” hair or cloth clothing. Examples of this format can be found in Sideshow’s Premium Format figures and the superhero dolls made by Tonner.

These are very BIG. I just cannot imagine anyone having one of them personally unless you all have a ton of room in your house.

1:6 Scale (approx. 12″)

This scale holds a special place in action figure history as it was the original size of the very first figure to sport the “action figure” moniker, G.I. Joe. This is also the scale of all the figurines posted in this article.

This was the reigning scale for action figures during the first decade or so after G.I. Joe hit the market and many companies toyed with 12″ figures of their own, including the 12″ Star Wars dolls from Kenner in the late ’70s and Mego’s 12″ line of superhero dolls, featuring Batman, Superman and a TV tie-in version of Wonder Woman.

1:9 Scale (approx. 8″)

This scale is pretty much exclusive to the Mego toy company’s World’s Greatest Heroes line of eight-inch action figures that ruled the toy aisles in the late ’70s and early ’80s. Other toy companies were quick to follow, such as Ideal with their famous monsters and Evel Knievel lines. This size became so popular that G.I. Joe himself shrunk down to this size (although a petroleum shortage needed to make plastic didn’t help, either).

1:10 Scale (approx. 7″)

For today’s collectors, the 1:10 scale seems to be the king of the hill. Several action figure lines are being produced in this format from Mattel’s DC Universe to Marvel’s Legends line. Mattel has made an even bigger splash with their Masters of the Universe Classics line that re-imagines the old school fantasy figures in a newer seven-inch scale. This size tends to be more popular with adult collectors than with children looking for play value.

1:18 Scale (approx. 3.75-4″)

Mego started it with their Pocket Heroes line in the late ’70s, followed shortly thereafter by Fisher-Price with their Adventure People line, but it would be Kenner’s massively popular Star Wars collection that would set the unshakable standard for action figures of this scale for almost 20 years. Figures in this scale were less expensive, easier to fit into vehicles and loads of fun to collect. Toy lines such as G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero did extremely well in this size as did many movie figures, such as Indiana Jones and Tron and figures based on TV shows, like The Dukes of Hazzard and ChiPs.

Although 3.75″ was the standard in this scale, a proper 1:18 scale figure should be 4″, and a recent resurgence in popularity of this size has brought us several new figure lines from Marvel, DC Comics, G.I. Joe and Star Wars.

1:12 Scale (approx. 5-6″)

Chances are if the figure was based on a movie made during the ’90s (Last Action Hero, Congo, Jurassic Park, Super Mario Brothers) their action figures were this size. Throughout the 1990s, figures ranging between five and six inches took over the action figure world, pretty much killing the 3.75″ figures and setting a new standard. Although not very popular today, figures in this scale will never be forgotten.

1:48 Scale (approx. 2″)

It should be noted that with the rise in popularity and collectability of figures such as Lego “minifigs” and other miniature, yet fully articulated, figures from other building sets such as Mega Bloks, the two-inch-tall figure is starting to hold its own and is beginning to command respect in the collectibles world. These figures may very well one day be the reigning scale standard in the not too distant future, so they get an honorable mention here.

1/6 scale – the “GI Joe” scale

Here are figurines that are of the 1:6 scale. The (so called) GI Joe size. I think that they are awesome, but I really don’t have the kind of disposable money to indulge in collecting these figures. I just have to go to Hong Kong (Mong Kok) and look at the figures in display instead.

Gallery

All the following figurines are in 1:6 scale. And we will start with a historical figure.

And now for some fun…

Top Big Names

This world of action figures excites young and grown children for playing and collecting. It also excites me as I just really like to look at these things.

Of course, there are a number of fantastic online resources dedicated to action figures across the internet but it would be impossible to feature all of the great sites in one list. These are 10 of the more exhaustive sites in no particular order.

There is something for everyone on these sites, but do not limit your online experience to just these featured because there are many other online resources in the action figure collecting community.

First lets look at the big American companies that started this hobby…

Hasbro

Action figures simply wouldn’t exist as they do today if not for Hasbro’s influence on the creation of G.I. Joe in the 1960s. Their influence in the industry only grew in the ’80s with the re-envisioned G.I. Joe line and the introduction of Transformers.

On top of the lasting value of its own brands G.I. Joe and Transformers, Hasbro is possibly most recognized for its licensed brands, including Stars Wars and Marvel Comics. Because of these four brands, Hasbro’s action figures make up a huge portion of any modern action figure aisle, and this is all on top of their already dominant toy and board game presence.

Mattel

Mattel may be best-known for its doll phenomenon Barbie, but their presence in the action figure world has been a growing one. Mattel was primarily known among boys as the manufacturer of Hot Wheels until they stepped onto the action figure scene in a big way in the early 1980s with He-Man and the Masters of the Universe. He-Man was one of the single most popular figures of that era, and the line thrived for a number of years.

After He-Man’s fall into obscurity, Mattel’s influence in the collector action figure world was rather small until recently, with the revamped Masters of the Universe Classics line and the acquisition of the DC Comics, WWE Wrestling, and Ghostbusters licenses. Mattel is once again a major player in the collector action figure industry, taking up their own fair share of toy aisles.

Bandai

Bandai may be the biggest toy company of which you’ve never heard. Behind Mattel and Hasbro, Bandai is the world’s third-largest toy manufacturer and has a large presence in the action figure industry as well. The primary difference is that Bandai is a Japanese company, whose influence in the United States is enacted through Bandai America.

Bandai’s single biggest action figure line in the United States is the Power Rangers and its various incarnations. Many of the figures that most collectors ignore as they move through toy aisles are the cartoon and TV show based properties that Bandai thrives on. Despite many brands not taking off with collectors, Bandai’s authority has grown recently thanks to the newly acquired ThunderCats license and its star Lion-O.

From the great Chinese SF Epic; “The Wandering Earth”.

McFarlane Toys

Todd McFarlane’s popularity in the world of comics in the late 1980s and early ’90s helped him launch two major companies, one of which was McFarlane Toys. McFarlane Toys made an impact on the action figure industry which is still being felt in many ways. They were the first to truly make action figures look good. Sculpt and paint techniques were taken to new heights, and that changed the direction action figures took. They finally started to become serious and grown-up.

The one major criticism of McFarlane Toys’ products is that they lacked the standard articulation that kids had become used to. That problem has been remedied with McFarlane’s newest products, as can be seen with the widely-popular Halo line based on the hit video game. McFarlane Toys is not as prominent a company as it once was, though its impact is still felt across toy aisles.

NECA

Figures produced by NECA (National Entertainment Collectibles Association) may not be featured heavily in the average big box store’s toy section, but their strictly collector-directed figures feature heavily at toy stores and comic shops, as well as online. Despite NECA being a relative newcomer on the action figure scene, it has become a major player thanks to its video game and movie licensed figures.

The importance of NECA to the industry as a whole can’t be underestimated, as its products bring non-collectors into the action figure world. Video game or movie fans who have never purchased an action figure before are suddenly supporting the industry thanks to the fantastic quality and likenesses NECA’s figures offer.

Hot Toys

Hong Kong-based manufacturer Hot Toys makes this list for one very simple reason. They make the absolute best action figures in the world. Although extremely expensive and on a scale (1/6) many collectors don’t collect, the figures Hot Toys produces are the best looking and highest quality on the market.

A vast majority of their figures are based on movie properties, and result in eerily life-like representations of the major characters, down to the real cloth costumes they are wearing. If you have a lot of money to spend and want the very best, look no farther than Hot Toys.

Top 10 Action Figure Websites

01 of 10 Toy News International kirahoffman / Public Domain Toy News International gathers a staggering amount of news from the action figure industry, typically featuring multiple news entries every day. Also, there are tons of galleries and features to enjoy when not reading news updates. Toy News International’s best feature is probably its robust and active forum featuring thousands of collectors discussing various lines, companies, and figures.

02 of 10 Seibertron.com Many sites focus on a breadth of lines and brands, Seibertron.com focuses specifically on Transformers. The site features some of the most incredible, far-reaching, and expert opinions on the world of Transformers action figures. There are extensive galleries of every Transformers figure imaginable, a huge forum with an extensive number of collectors, and constant news on every single aspect of the brand. If you are a Transformers fan, there’s no better resource than Seibertron.

03 of 10 Online Action Figure Entertainment Online Action Figure Entertainment maintains a number of interesting features throughout the years, such as editorials, comics, and a strong forum. The reason collectors keep coming back to the site is the variety of reviews posted regularly. The group running the site is made up of long-time collectors with bold opinions on their figures, and they are not shy about sharing them. OAFE reviews are detailed and honest, and there are a lot of them to peruse.

04 of 10 Figures.com This website takes advantage of the constant stream of action figure news that some other sites might miss. Every piece of news seems to make its way to the slick homepage, giving buyers and collectors tons of fresh content. There are also active forums, a variety of reviews, and a network of great sites like Yo Joe! and ​One Sixth Warriors in the Figures.com pantheon.

05 of 10 MWCToys.com MWCToys.com goes by many names. It is Captain Toy, it is Michael’s Review of the Week, and it is MWCToys. No matter what you call it, it is the ultimate home of action figure reviews by expert action figure reviewer Michael Crawford. When it comes to reviewing toys, Crawford is an absolute expert in the industry. The ​photos are incredible, the reviews are well-written, and the number and ​breadth of toys reviewed are astounding. To top it all off, this is the home of the Poppies, one of the most widely-recognized annual action figure awards.​​​​

06 of 10 The Toyark The Toyark is a news site with one of the Internet’s most active action figure discussion forums with great photo galleries and related features. News from every genre and brand of action figures is gathered on the Toyark, but collectors seeking more specific sites can enjoy popular stops like HissTank and TransformerWorld2005, a part of the Toyark network.

07 of 10 Pixel-Dan.com The online shopping world for action figures has always been a little behind other hobbies. In particular, video reviews of action figures lagged behind, but Pixel Dan changed all that. This site is the most prominent and professional video reviewer of action figures, and the archive is well maintained. This resource includes news, editorials, and a number of other exciting features.

08 of 10 He-Man.org Everything He-Man and Masters of the Universe can be found here. This site rose up to meet collectors‘ needs. It features everything imaginable that is related to the He-Man universe, including but not limited to, dedicated discussion forums, a plethora of news and features, action figure archives, photo galleries, and a comprehensive encyclopedia.  Continue to 9 of 10 below.

09 of 10 Action Figure Insider Action Figure Insider is one of the most widely recognized and widely perused action figure sites on the internet. It features every conceivable piece of action figure news, has extremely active and vibrant forums, features well-written editorial pieces, includes a variety of checklists, and has wonderful event and convention photo galleries. Action Figure Insider has been around a while and will likely continue to be one of the best sites about the action figure industry for a long time to come.

10 of 10 The Fwoosh The Fwoosh has a good repository of news about action figures and maintains an active forum for discussion about figures, how to find other forums on a specific topic, and much more. The Fwoosh has its own line of super-poseable action figures and its own YouTube channel for recent action figure news and information.

Conclusion

Yeah, I think that they look awesome. And while fundamentally they are just really super-detailed dolls, the detail and the appearance is attractive to me. As I have stated earlier, I cannot afford these figurines (or to put it plainer and more accurately) I cannot prioritize these figurines over other items that I cherish. You know like cases of wine, frolics with chicks at KTV’s, and diapers for my youngest child.

So, what I do when I am tired of the “news”, I go out and explore the various sites on the internet. (This used to be known as surfing the net.) And some of the sites that I explore are those of figurines.

Over the years there have been some rather amazing figurines that have been (how can I convey the impact) spectacular in design, detail and appearance. And while I cannot (and it is not my intent) to convince people that these figurines are contemporaneous artistic renderings of popular culture, it is something that I earnestly believe is true.

If you find yourself with some extra time on your hands, a stroll or browse through one of the above websites might be of colorful interest.

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Mankind needs real heroes, and perhaps there is a role in society for plausible hero movies

Again, I am breaking the "text barrier" on post title lengths, but gosh! How else would you possible be able to say this?

But isn’t it true?

I mean that we all like to watch the heroes in the movies. You know, the action adventure where every bullet kills a bad-guy instantly, or the actor (Tom Cruse) that hangs on the side of an airplane at 4000 feet trying to get in, or the man that somehow bests a army of hit men and hit women (John Wick series). But…

But…

Let’s be real. That does not happen in “real life”. Blood is gooey and sticky and getting wet and damp and being shot at in the middle of the night IS NOT FUN. And I can tell you that once you’ve experienced the “real thing” you really don’t want to watch it in any kind of movie form.

Whether it is…

  • A prison setting.
  • Getting revenge on someone who did you wrong.
  • A household with an alcoholic.
  • Fighting an impossibly corrupt government.
  • A movie about a divorce that went bad.

If you have experienced these things first hand, you won’t ever want to relive them. No matter how well made or interesting the story line is. It will trigger bad memories and it will not be fun, escapist movie fare for you.

Now, I have ranted on (in the past) about the overwhelming majority of super-hero movies and themes that have dominated Hollywood and American media for the last decade, if not longer. I have complained about them, I have expressed my frustration over them.

My argument goes pretty much like this…

These people are really not something that you can relate to. Young nerd gets bitten by a spider and turns into spider man, Captain America is changed by a military experiment, Batman is a rich eccentric, and the hulk is the result of a science experiment. Iron man is a rich industrial mogul. Then they all get together and fight some evil that is going to destroy the world. Tons of CGI special effects are used and the adolescents are amused!

A ton load of CGI effects flood the screen.

Bullet stop in mid-air. People run in the sky and at the top of tree-tops. Top secret military installations with lots, and lots of shiny black glass and stainless steel finished metal control panels. Monitors everywhere, all showing a whole bunch of impressive graphics and numbers in an incomprehensible matrix array. People move their hands and the air parts, a flick of the wrist and a person is flung into a wall, and teenage experts can hack into government databases in nary a few seconds.

There is a theory in Hollywood these days that audiences have shorter attention spans and must be distracted by nonstop comic book action.

-RodgerEbert

Hey!

So I have to point things out to everyone. Where are the movies that you can relate to?

At least during the 1940’s people could relate to Humphrey Bogart. During the 1960’s people wanted to relate to James Bond. In the 1970’s people could relate to John Wayne. In the 1980’s people could relate to John Cusack. But now…

Who can you relate to?

What can I relate to?

The new remake of Ghostbusters with an all-female cast? How about the remake of Oceans eleven with an all female cast? Or what about “Dave” in “Dave made a maze”?

Can you relate to this beta chuck, directionless, ambition-less, unskilled, quasi masculine?

Interior of the maze that Dave made.

So…

So, I have to ask.

What about Mr. Joe Average? You know, the guy who is just trying to make payments on his bills, and reads every day about assholes that are tearing up his society. Mr. Joe Average that gets shit from his boss, works a crummy job, and is trying to make his way in a pretty pathetic excuse for a business. Mr. Joe Average who has to put the kids through school, and make a life in a career that at bet might mean work in a “gig economy”. What about people like us?

Sorry, bub.

Not. That. Interesting.

2000 Unbreakable

It’s been slim pickings for many a year. Action figures and heroes dominated the movie industry. If you were a fan of comic books then this time was for you, but if you weren’t… well, I hope that all the CGI offered you enough razzmatazz to keep your interests up.

Then something magical happened.

In the year 2000, a move came out titled “Unbreakable”.

It was also a hero movie. It was about a hero, or a super-hero. You really couldn’t tell. What he actually was.

Was he a normal guy that had ability, or was he a super-hero that was convinced that he was normal?

Bruce Willis in Unbreakable.

It didn’t get very many good reviews. Most people complained that it was too dark, too slow, not enough CGI, not action packed and the hero didn’t wear spandex or a cape. The complaints were legion. It was too dark, and way too slow. People complained that there wasn’t enough “action”, and that the dialog was “retarded” and it was far “too moody” of a film.

But…

You know, it was a story about a average man, doing an average job, having an average life, and feeling that something was missing.

Something…

But what?

He was just a normal guy.

He lived a normal life. He did what everyone told him to do. he did it to the best of his ability, but that was it. It’s just that he had this nagging feeling that he was worth more, and had a real value that he could offer…

But what?

Just a normal guy.
Just a normal guy.

The movie was special.

It was about a normal man who had an extraordinary ability.

One, perhaps, that all men have inside of us. We just never push ourselves and let it out…

And because of that, everyone hated it. They absolutely despised the movie. They thought that the movie was lame. The acting was lame. The story line was lame, and that there wasn’t any decent CGI effects.

This movie was dull - The personalities were dull; the lighting was dull; the color was dull; the acting was dull and the story line was BORING. Please explain something to me….the main-woe-is-me character works in security. People in that line of work are finger printed but our hero leaves his finger prints all over the crime scene and yet they have no idea who he is??

-UNBEARABLE
I'll say it right now, Unbreakable is my pick for worst movie ever made. Not necessarily in terms of quality, I'm sure some Sci-Fi channel movie would snatch that prize, but in terms of writing, acting, and most importantly, directing. I counted how many words Bruce Willis said throughout the entire movie, my final total was 6 (that is not technically true as I didn't really count, but I'm confident my estimate is within about 10 of the actual number).

-Terrible Attempt at Emotion and Drama in this Disappointing Movie

And the movie was pretty much forgotten.

Some still enjoyed it, but they hid in the shadows. They kept their thoughts to themselves, and quietly lived their lives.

Strangely, they formed little enclaves on the internet. Restricted access to their blogs to keep the trolls away, and built up a small group of followers to also, not only loved the movie, but believed in the power of individual “specialness”.

Unbreakable is a superhero movie disguised as a psychological drama. The movie was marketed as a thriller over Shyamalan’s objections. But once the film unfolded onscreen, it revealed a unique, original, and unexpected superhero origin story. There are no costumes or gimmicks, and it’s a film that values story and character above expensive set pieces and big effects. By ridding the story of almost all of the superhero visual cues, Shyamalan was able to explore the genre in a meaningful and important way.

This movie also features very few special effects or action scenes. Instead, it focuses on finding something fantastic in our mundane and normal world. David Dunn is just a regular man who has to deal with the fact that he might have superpowers. But it’s David’s struggle to accept this reality that really drives the film. There’s not much in the way of plot, but the character moments were extremely rewarding.

-Superherohype
It doesn't involve special effects and stunts, much of it is puzzling and introspective, and most of the action takes place during conversations. If the earlier film seemed mysteriously low-key until an ending that came like an electric jolt, this one is more fascinating along the way, although the ending is not quite satisfactory. 

In both films, Shyamalan trusts the audience to pay attention, and makes use of Bruce Willis' everyman quality, so we get drawn into the character instead of being distracted by the surface.

-RodgerEbert

But…

But…

I loved this movie.

I loved it because of it’s premise.

Just a blurb in the news.

You see, this movie is the “real deal”.

It’s about a normal guy.

It’s about a normal guy who had some extraordinary abilities.

Like I have, and YOU have.

And if you don’t realize it, then you have been convinced by others that you are just plain and average. For everyone on this planet has something, some combination of skills and abilities that make them rather special and unique.

Do you “get it”?

Inside of all of us, we have something unique and something special. It might be the way that you fix and repair old ford tractors. It might be the way that you can make a nearly magical bowl of Chili. It might be the way that you can inspire and teach others like in Boy Scouts, or it might be the way that you you apply the art of fly fishing.

You, me, everyone has some very special skills that are way above those of the “average” norm.

And we live life.

Unbreakable.

We live life…

We live it accepting the idea that we are just alone, and normal, and stuck in a situation that there just isn’t a way out of. That we are trapped. That what ever good we might have has been submerged into the group and we must conform as the group says and hide our abilities, if they are (in any way) obvious to others. We must “lie low”.

If this movie were about nothing else, it would be a full portrait of a man in crisis at work and at home.

-RodgerEbert

And because of that, this movie was considered to be a flop, and a waste of time.

But…

All of us have a “real hero” inside of us. Oh, we don’t look like it on the outside, but trust me, we are there, and when the opportunity arises, we leap up and out and take on the world. Just like a real, honest to goodness, Rufus would.

The world needs real, honest, heroes.

It does.

That is what “Unbreakable” was all about.

And that is the premise of the two sequels to the 2000 movie “Unbreakable”.

The world runs easier when you have found your purpose.

2017 Split

Unbreakable is the first in a trilogy of movies.

  • Unbreakable – Discovery of your purpose.
  • Split – Even the confused can have a purpose and a role.
  • Glass – The world needs heroes, and they should not be forced into “normalcy”.

To fully understand what is going on you must accept the premise that ordinary people are capable of extraordinary things. And thus, the entire trilogy is based upon this concept that ordinary; “normal” people can have some hidden talents that can greatly improve, or hurt, the world that we live in.

Some, like in the first movie with Bruce Willis, can use these powers for good. And some, like in Split, can use these powers for other goals and achievements. And some, like in the movie “Glass” can use these powers to free the entire world.

Split.
Of course I knew the rumors from yore that Unbreakable was intended as a trilogy; but as the years went on and nothing happened, I figured the projected had been abandoned. And a good thing too because Unbreakable was still the best superhero movie ever made after The Incredibles, and it didn't need to be ruined by Shyamalan's decline. But Split seemed interesting and meanwhile the trailers for Glass were coming out, and they were so exciting I had to watch them for closure.

So I watched Split and it was as if Shyamalan had made a smooth transition from Unbreakable to it; it's as if he hadn't made anything else in between. Here was the inventive, sensitive, spiritual filmmaker I remember admiring all the way back in 2000. Here was another one of his beautiful, slow dramas about ordinary people discovering extraordinary gifts and learning to cope with them. And it was packaged as a tense thriller about a kidnapped girl trying to escape from a serial killer with multiple personalities who discovers he's more than human, like David Dunn. It was also an emotional story about finding the courage to face up to our inner demons. Thinking about it now, if I didn't cry at Split's beautiful ending, it's probably because I was subconsciously saving them for Glass.

Ah, Glass. A movie so reviled by critics you'll think it was directed by Tommy Wiseau. I don't understand what happened, I don't know what they expected, and what they saw. For my part, I saw the fitful ending to what is now one of the rare perfect movie trilogies.

Glass builds on the previous movies and maintains its tone and pace. By tone I mean it's a low-key superhero movie grounded on realism. Like in hard sci-fi novels, frequently the characters will discuss plausible theories for feats and powers that seem extraordinary. By pace I mean it's mostly a character drama spiced with tense situations and spliced with trappings from horror, sci-fi, mystery, and thriller.

-IMDB

By the time 2019 came around, we have three super-heroes in this triad of movies.

  • An average guy who is unbreakable.
  • A man who is split into fractured personalities that combine into one.
  • A mental genius who is as fragile as glass.

2019 Glass

The Trilogy ended with the 2019 movie titled Glass.

What's sadder, though, is that the critics will frighten viewers away from a movie that's better than 90% of what comes out every Summer. 

In a world where any crappy, soulless, mindless blockbuster makes 1 billion dollars easy, this movie probably won't even make it to 300 million. 

Split didn't and had better reviews. 

And so we'll continue to get bad thrillers, action and superhero movies full of CGI, pointless explosions, and boring, by-the-numbers, sequel-hinting storytelling everyone wants - and cynical shareholders will continue to get richer while creative filmmakers see their opportunities dwindle. 

Funny, even in that Glass was grounded on reality: in the end the faceless villains we never suspected existed, chilling out in elitist restaurants we can't get in, always win. 

Curiously, that's one of the messages in the movie: the gifted are always being held back, overshadowed by the uncreative, those who enforce normalcy. 

But as the ending shows, the creative ones always find a way to outsmart the bureaucrats of normalcy. I hope that with time more people will come to know the truth that the critics have been hiding.

-IMDB

The trio of movies are well worth a watch.

The world needs heroes

The world needs heroes. The world needs people that do things just because it’s right and just. Not because they can make a buck on it. The world needs heroes now, more than ever.

And…

I think…

I believe…

That YOU are one of those heroes.

The world needs heroes.

Now, I have other posts in my Rufus Index that talks about everyday, average person heroics. I find them interesting and fascinating to watch. But also very inspirational. What would you do, if a child was dangling from the 23rd floor? What would you do, if a car with a family drives into a river? What would you do if a five year old runs out into the middle of a highway?

What would you do?

That’s the stuff that heroes are made of.

To sacrifice our lives, not for personal profit or financial gain, but to help others within our society. Because that is what we do as part of a society; as part of a community. As part of being part of something bigger than just our lonely, independent selves.

You are more than what you have been taught to be.

Conclusion

There are unknown forces that don’t want us to realize what we are truly capable of.
I will conclude this post with the final dialog from the movie "Glass". It is poignant, and worth repeating.

There are unknown forces that don’t want us to realize what we are truly capable of.

They don’t want us to know that the things we suspect are extraordinary about ourselves are real.

I believe that if everyone sees what just a few people become when they wholly embrace their gifts, others will awaken.

Belief in one’s self, is contagious.

We give each other permission to be swayerolds, we will never awaken otherwise.

Whoever these people are, who don’t want us to know the truth, today they lose.

I believe that if everyone sees what just a few people become when they wholly embrace their gifts, others will awaken.
Funny, even in that Glass was grounded on reality: in the end the faceless villains we never suspected existed, chilling out in elitist restaurants we can't get in, always win.

Curiously, that's one of the messages in the movie: the gifted are always being held back, overshadowed by the uncreative...

... those who enforce normalcy.

But as the ending shows, the creative ones always find a way to outsmart the bureaucrats of normalcy. I hope that with time more people will come to know the truth that the critics have been hiding.

-IMDB

Movies are many things.

They can entertain. They can teach. They can illustrate and they can instruct. By embracing the story line and the dialog embedded within a movie, you can be taught interesting ideas and concepts; novel ideas and concepts that are just not possible with books and other media.

It’s fun and entertaining to watch simplistic two-dimensional characters fighting it out with impressive CGI graphics and a great explosive sound track. But, it is something else, entirely something else to be taught some ideas and concepts that may seem foreign, alien or unusual for you to grasp.

You are not a nine year old child.

This trilogy is about you, the individual. You are an adult that has experienced both the highs and the lows of life. Maybe there were good times, and maybe there were bad times. But sometimes, there is a period in your life where the “wind just doesn’t fill your sails”, where you find yourself drifting aimlessly, doing the same things day in and day out, drifting on a calm motionless sea.

To be part of a society, you not not NEED to conform to the behaviors and the ideals of that society. You can be yourself. You can contribute your special gifts and special abilities so that all may profit from them.

But the first step begins with knowledge.

Whoever these people are, who don’t want us to know the truth, today they lose.

Know that it is not only possible, but indeed, it is plausible that you have abilities that are suppressed and hidden from you that you are unaware of. And others, maybe they would scoff and laugh at you…

But who cares. The “typical” is not what you deserve to be any longer.

Let them laugh…

  • At the woman who can chat with faeries.
  • At the man who can climb up the outside of a 32 story building.
  • At the mechanical prodigy that can diagnose and fix any car, and engine at any time, just be listening to it.
  • At the chef that cooks by scent alone.

Being special means that you won’t get a prize. You won’t get fame. You won’t make money.

But you will do what your purpose is intended to be on this earth.

This is the moment when you are welcomed into the universe.

Do you want more?

I have more articles like this in my MOVIE INDEX here…

MOVIES

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Noteworthy Movies – Barbarella or when WTF becomes a historical norm.

 Great Tyrant: "You're very pretty pretty pretty." 
 Barbarella: "My name isn't Pretty Pretty. It's Barbarella."   

I first watched this movie as a young boy in the local movie theater. I was a fan of science fiction, but this movie confounded the daylights out of me. I did appreciate all the nudity. That was cool. But I just could not follow the plot. The spaceships did not look like what I expected, nor did the roles that the characters played. I watched the movie and then went home and forgot about it.

Time moved on.

I refused to have any association with Jane Fonda. She turned me off with her “radical” anti-American stances, and her adoption of progressive Marxism. I did not agree with her. I did not appreciate her. I did not like her, and I wanted nothing to do with her.

Time passed.

Barbarella in the orgasimatron.
Barbarella in the orgasimatron.

I got older. I started to travel the world. I started to see how different the United States was, and how out of step it was with the rest of the world, it seemed to me that the United States was in a very small bubble and that everyone inside was convinced that the lands outside that bubble were horrible, terrible places. And those people had no idea just how manipulated and fooled they were. Or, how dangerously manipulated they had become.

So I accepted this reality.

Not my problem. Nothing that goes on in the USA is my problem. I just wanted to chill out. Drink my wine. Eat delicious food and play with pretty girls.

Then… the Coronavirus hit.

China treated it as a biological weapons attack and went into complete national lock-down. And I, I was stuck inside my house with nothing better to do than to watch movies and drink beer. (I had a stack of beer that I was meaning to get around to anyways…)

And as such, I started to watch old movies from the 1960’s. For often these movies are not behind a paywall. (Most aren’t. The James Bond 007 movies, for some strange reason, were.) Anyways, the movies from the 1960’s and the 1970’s were awesome to watch. They are cheap entertainment and great escapist enjoyment.

And so I rediscovered Barbarella.

I chose movies instead of televisions shows because I don’t know if I could handle a few seasons of Flipper, The Ghost and Mrs. Muir, Hazel, My Favorite Martian or Mr. Ed.

LOL.

Anyways, Barbarella was awesome…

Barbarella is a movie that is as campy as camp can be and in spite of the low budget sets, crude execution of plot and overtly sexual dialogue, it holds your attention. This film is based on a French comic book character and it exposes you to the wonderful world of the bizarre, 1960s era, fantasy film culture... and that's why I love it. 

-Amazon

And what a glorious escape to the 1960’s it is!

Barbarella has no trigger discipline.
Barbarella has no trigger discipline. Barbarella (1968) – Jane Fonda

The Characters:

  • Barbarella – Jane Fonda! Ted Turner’s little communist is sort of an intergalactic special agent.
  • Duran Duran – HEHEHE! (Sorry, his name gives me the giggles, and according to Leonard Maltin that is where the band got it from.) Mad scientist intent on conquering the universe, generally out to cause hate and discontent. Eaten by the Magmous.
  • Pygar – Last of the ornithothropes, he’s an Angel, literally.
  • The Great Tyrant – Attractive and evil ruler of Lythion, she likes the word “pretty.”
  • Dildano – Inept revolutionary who wishes to overthrow the evil empire, zapped into the fourth dimension.
  • Professor Ping – Kind scientist who assists the unfortunates banished into the labyrinth, also zapped.
  • Marcan – Barbarian guy in charge of herding wild children (Now that’s daycare.), he saves Barbarella from the evil kiddies and introduces her to some old fashioned loving…
  • Alfie – The ship’s computer.
  • The Magmous – A presence which surrounds the city and feeds off evil, it appears to be a huge lava lamp.
Barbarella  is a movie that is as campy as camp can be and in spite of the low  budget sets, crude execution of plot and overtly sexual dialogue, it  holds your attention. This film is based on a French comic book  character and it exposes you to the wonderful world of the bizarre,  1960s era, fantasy film culture... and that's why I love it. It's a  "gem-in-the-rough" waiting to be discovered by a new generation of  fantasy film lovers. Enjoy ! 

-Mark
Barbarella exploring her new world.
Barbarella exploring her new world.

The Plot:

Ho Chi Minh’s favorite exercise queen stars in this amazing piece of science fiction, oh yes, Jane Fonda.

What really amazes me is the movie’s PG rating, considering the fact that Barbarella’s antigravity breasts go bouncing through more than a few scenes sans clothing. (Plus there’s another woman hanging from leather straps later on.)

Don’t try and give me all that, “It was the 60’s.” crap either.

Our heroine is dispatched to prevent a new weapon from destroying the harmony of the known universe.

This  is a teenage Jane Fonda with very little (often no) clothing on. The  plot is silly as are some of the scenes but I was a teen when I first  saw this movie and a film featuring an often naked Jane Fonda in many  very explicit sexual encounters still arouses my now 67 year old senses.  A a serious Sci-Fi flic it is not, but it is a snapshot of 1960's  culture presented in an often hilarious manner. 

-Old Wet Cat

If one thing was threatening harmony it is this movie’s groovy soundtrack, I was torturing the cat by humming snippets to it. (Kitty actually fled the room.)

After her spaceship crashes things really get weird, she encounters wild children, leather robots, Pygar, the Great Tyrant, and carnivorous parakeets.

When Barbarella finally locates Duran Duran (Hehe! Sorry…) the scientist is a madman, seeking to conquer the universe and give her a fatal orgasm.

Yes, that’s right… death by organism.

I didn’t stutter my friends, he straps the woman into a strange “pleasure organ/piano” thing and plays a tune which should kill her with ecstasy.

It doesn’t work, though.

This  is a really amazingly funny movie, at once a good sci fi, sex  goddess-creating classic, it is also deliciously quirky.  I mean, can  you picture a spacecraft whose interior is fur-lined?

Fonda is  Barbarella, a kind of futuristic bimbo - in part the product of a highly  developed permissive society - who is on a mission to, well, you have  to see it to believe it.  Somehow, Vadim really pulls it all off, though  I suppose it is best to see this in an altered state of consciousness,  60s-style.  Really, tho, it is hard to stop laughing at this, while  taking in an engaging story and unforgettable imagery.  Really, this is a  classic.

Interestingly, while living in France, I bought a bunch  of Barbarella paperbacks out of curiosity and discovered to my delight  that the movie is actually very faithful to the original comic - even  the dialogue follows the crytptic utterances of the characters closely.

Fonda  is perfectly cast.  She is stunningly beautiful in youth, at the apex  of her stardom in many ways, and you can tell she is having fun with  this role.  But the acting of the others is also very good and fun, from  DuranDuran to the sexualised angel in his nest.

Recommended warmly.  This is weirdness that works extremely well. 

-Robert J Crawford

Barbarella shorts out the machine and it bursts into flames.

Soon after this the Great Tyrant sets free the Magmous and all heck breaks loose.

The end.

If that wasn’t warning enough I’m telling you now: This movie is all over the place and insanely groovy.

It  is somewhat difficult to describe Barbarella. It is bizarre, sexy,  funny, and a definite 1960s sci-fi classic. 

It is not a movie for  children (no way is this a PG- it was originally rated M for mature  audiences). 

There is nudity and sexuality interlaced throughout the  movie, and I must say that Jane Fonda was definitely in her prime when  she starred in this (eye candy supreme). 

The bizarre scenes (including  the metal-toothed biting dolls) could give kids (and adults) nightmares.  

There are some cute little blue bunnies hopping around though. The  special effects are extremely funny, but that adds to the total feeling  of the movie. In other words, do not view this film with a serious mind.  

The cast includes some very good actors (including Ugo Tognazzi, John  Phillip Law, Marcel Marceau, David Hemmings, and Milo O'Shea) who must  have had some fun making this movie. And, without a doubt, Jane Fonda  was the perfect choice to play the lead role. 

-D.Dalton

After the shock of watching Barbarella strip out of her spacesuit in zero gravity (She’s obviously laying on plate glass with the camera above her.), I noticed the red shag carpet covering the spaceship’s interior top to bottom.

For a state of the art spacecraft her ship had some issues, like the acid trip view screen and a disturbing habit of colliding with solid objects, like a planet.

Let’s not forget this is the future and all the messy pleasure associated with that disgusting habit of sexual intercourse has been overcome…

… now you just take a pill and hold hands…

…until Barbarella gets her pipes cleaned by Marcan, then she does agree “Wider is…” I mean, “The old ways are better.”

Barbarella  strapped to the orgasimistron.
Barbarella strapped to the orgasimistron.
I find "Barbarella: Queen of the Galaxy" to be a psychedelic, costume,  music, metal teeth doll, Jane Fonda and shag fun fest.  

This 1968 film  was made after the French comic books Barbarella by Jean Claude Forest  which the movie in my opinion does a good job of giving you an almost  comic book feel.  

Most will likely find the special effects to be of low  quality, especially if you prefer the special effects of today.  I  however, find them to give all the more comic book feel of the time and  enjoy the psychedelic appearance of many of them.  

The film was directed  by Roger Vadim who was also married to Jane Fonda at the time.  In  short if you like 60's "B" movies with the features I describe in the  first sentence this film might be for you.  If however, you don't like  60,s "B" movies and the items I mention in the first sentence you will  likely disagree with my five star rating, so be warned. 

-The Tally Ho

Things I Learned From This Movie: 

  • Orange shag carpet is the ultimate in spaceship decor.
  • Stingrays are used as draft horses on other worlds.
  • Sadistic children scream like a flock of seagulls.
  • In the future sexual gratification is achieved by taking a pill and holding hands. (My thoughts exactly…)
  • Orchids are not very filling.
  • Angels make nests.
  • Public suicide chambers need to be clearly marked.
  • Parakeets are carnivorous.
  • Having some woman smoke me in a bong is the stuff nightmares are made of.
  • The world will be swallowed by an evil lava lamp monster.
The movie is very 1960's and includes all those psychedelic elements.
The movie is very 1960’s and includes all those psychedelic elements.

Stuff To Watch For: 

  • 5 mins – RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT! (Wait, this is PG?)
  • 17 mins – Earth’s number one agent was just captured by two eight year old girls.
  • 19 mins – These weird kids are feeding her to mechanical dolls.
  • 43 mins – It’s a flying sundae of death!
  • 47 mins – Lady, how exactly do you plan on hiding his wings?
  • 64 mins – Should have paid the electric bill Dil-dan-o…
  • 72 mins – Now that’s a password.
  • 76 mins – RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT!
  • 77 mins – Is there a guy in that bong?
  • 79 mins – Duran Duran (Hehe!) has her in this weird piano/organ thing, it’s sucking her clothes off… …and, um, doing other things.
Barbarella with the other chick that undresses for the movie. I forget what her role was, but I did admire her knockers.
Barbarella with the other chick that undresses for the movie. I forget what her role was, but I did admire her knockers.

Conclusion

I refused to watch this movie for years.

It’s an emotional thing that I had retained since Jane Fonda bad-mouthed the USA back during the Vietnam war. While I do not like what she did, I can now see that the USA somehow got way, way off course and became a war-mongering empire that uses people like myself as “cannon fodder”.

Anyways, I by chance, watched this movie and was astounded by the immersion in 1960’s culture and absolute weirdness. I am frankly astounded by it. It’s pure, and it’s sublime.

It’s a great movie to watch. Especially while drinking beer and eating a delicious sandwich. Don’t you know. Have your wife make a Jack-Reuben up for you, you will not regret it.

A fine home-made Jack-Reuben sandwich. Goes great with chips (especially Wise potato chips - perfectly salted) and a nice (must be icy cold) beer.
A fine home-made Jack-Reuben sandwich. Goes great with chips (especially Wise potato chips – perfectly salted) and a nice (must be icy cold) beer.

All glory to the Great Tyrant!


Barbarella with the flying man...oh, what's his name.
Barbarella with the flying man…oh, what’s his name.

I do hope that you enjoyed this post. I have others in my movie index. You can reach it here…

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Unusual Movies – Greenslime. When Hollywood made movies without social justice agendas.

I am old enough to remember going to the movie theater to watch this flick. It was on a Saturday afternoon, and my folks gave me a dollar to watch it. I was ten years old. Back in those days we watched movies for fun, or barring that, to stay out of our parent’s hair and let them have some time alone.

Here’s some fun “elevator pitches” for science fiction movies. 

How about  having astronauts land on an asteroid that’s on a collision course with  earth? Wait, it gets better— to save the world they have to use  drilling equipment to bore holes in the rocky surface to plant nuclear  bombs inside and blow the renegade asteroid into space dust. 

Not working  for you? 

Okay, try this one on. How about having an alien life form that looks harmless in its infant state brought aboard a space ship. Then it breaks loose, transforming into a monstrous killing machine that slaughters the crew one by one!  

- Horror News

Lately, most of the larger (high budget) movies out of Hollywood are nothing more that venues to ram-rod social justice “improvements” down our collective throats. This policy certainly started long ago. Maybe back during the Clinton administration, but it most certainly became heated up to a degree of red-hot insanity during the Obama presidency.

Now we have a 007 “James Bond” flick that going to have a new transgender LGBT “woman of color” in the role of secret agent. Funny how she looks like a morph of Hillary Clinton and Michelle Obama. Yuck!

The face of the new progressive, modern "James Bond", 007. This woman looks like someone morphed Michelle Obama and Hillary Clinton together. Oh, how enlightened! How so very progressive!
The face of the new progressive, modern “James Bond”, 007. This woman looks like someone morphed Michelle Obama and Hillary Clinton together. Oh, how enlightened! How so very progressive!

Anyways, let’s get back to the movie at hand; Green slime.

This is a movie perfect for the eleven year old boy inside of all of us. It’s got a cool retro 1960’s sound track. (It’s got) Cool miniatures with all sorts of detail like something out of Fireball XL-5. It’s got spacemen exploring a rogue asteroid and carrying space rifles (!). It’s got a love triangle with a handsome man with a chiseled face, and the girls all look like they came out of a 1960’s playboy magazine.

And it’s got monsters.

Lots and lots of monsters.

Right out of the gate you can feel the movie itching to get to the good  stuff– that song barely lasts a verse and a chorus before Robert Horton,  as Commander Jack Rankin, arrives at space station Gamma 3 ready  to head up a very dangerous mission– landing on a strange asteroid and  exploding it out of its collision course with Earth.  

-Trailers from Hell

What’s not to love?

I saw THE GREEN SLIME in 1968 at the Omni Center Theatre in  Atlanta Georgia with my brother and cousin and was awestruck and  terrified as only a 6-year-old boy seeing a movie called THE GREEN SLIME  in 1968 could be so I’ve always had a huge soft spot in my heart for  this film (I was lucky enough to attend a 16mm screening at Cinema  Wasteland a couple of years ago and it held up great). 

I mentioned three  things that I think make THE GREEN SLIME so enduring. 

One. The title, THE  GREEN SLIME is so perfect and unpretentious that Saturday matinee  audiences in 1968 had to know exactly what was in store and I can’t  imagine anyone feeling let down. 

Second, THE GREEN SLIME has one of the funkiest title songs in cinema history. Written by Charles Fox (who  would go on to write the themes for THE LOVE BOAT and HAPPY DAYS) and  accompanied by a frenzied drum beat and blaring electric guitars  (someone edited the song to clips of battle scenes from the film and  posted it on youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vKESo2ofEcw).  

THE GREEN SLIME theme is a blast and was even released as a single!  

Third, the poster is my absolute favorite from the 1960’s. The bold  colorful artwork features the emerald cretins in an action-packed outer  space battle with flying spacemen while holding a terrified Luciana  Paluzzi in a skin-tight metallic spacesuit in the foreground (an outfit  like nothing she wears in the film). 

The poster is a throwback to the  “bug-eyed monster” posters of the 1950’s and the artwork even graced the  cover of “Famous Monsters of Filmland” #57 in 1969. I have an original  THE GREEN SLIME three-sheet (40 x 80 inches) and it’s proudly displayed  in my den along with my Resin Green Slime model kit and vintage “The  Green Slime are Coming!” button.
  
- My Favorite Movies: The One About the Green Slime That I Saw at the Theater When I Was Six  
Greenslime movie poster.
Greenslime movie poster.

The Characters

The plot of THE GREEN SLIME play like a precursor (or parody) to ARMEGEDDEON and then ALIEN as a  runaway asteroid, known as Flora (!), is determined to be on a  collision course with earth. 

Rugged astronaut Jack Rankin (Robert  Horton) is ordered out of retirement to command Space Station Gamma 3,  an enormous ring-shaped outpost populated by a detachment of scientists  and military personnel, and stop Flora before it destroys our planet.  

Onboard Rankin meets his old flame Lisa (Luciana Paluzzi) and her  fiancée, Commander Vince Elliot (Richard Jaeckel), Rankin's former close  friend. 

Rankin, Elliot and the sinister Doctor Halvorsen (Ted Gunther)  land a shuttle on the asteroid, depositing explosives in an attempt to  nuke Flora. 

They succeed, but a small wad of pulsating green jelly adheres itself to Dr. Halvoson’s spacesuit and is brought back to the station unobserved. 

The crew celebrates with a groovy party featuring nurses in short skirts and high heels shimmying to 60’s electronic tunes, unaware that the oozy green stowaway is morphing into a deadly tentacled creature out to electrocute everyone in its path.  

Attempts to kill the slimy beast backfire as each drop of its blood  grows into a new monster until Gamma 3 is infested with these waddling critters collectively known as…

...The Green Slime!! 

- My Favorite Movies: The One About the Green Slime That I Saw at the Theater When I Was Six 
  • Commander Jack Rankin – This guy wouldn’t stop smiling if a rabid weasel was in his shorts; he would just grin and give you a thumbs up.
  • Commander Vince Elliott – In charge of the space station and not very happy Rankin is senior to him. A rash man who gives one Green Slime a hug. (That means he dies.)
  • Lisa Benson – Woman torn between loving Rankin and Elliott.
  • Dr. Halvorsen – Head researcher aboard the space station, he gets seriously fried.
  • General Jonathan Thompson – Gruff senior officer, his main role in this movie is sweating.
  • Captain Martin – Elliott’s right hand man, for some reason he looks natural in a white motorcycle helmet.
  • The Green Slime – Alien life form which feeds on energy and even a single drop of blood can regenerate into new creatures. Incinerated.
The Green Slime has the secret weapon every B-Movie needs-  Richard Jaeckel. 

Jaeckel was a prolific, academy award nominated actor  who bounced between supporting roles in big budget films and starring  turns in B-pictures. In fact he was nominated for a best supporting  actor Oscar for Sometimes A Great Notion (1970) right after he starred in The Green Slime.  

What made Jaeckel so special was that (like Shelly Winters) he always  delivered a class-A performance in any film, regardless of its quality.  If you watch The Green Slime carefully you’ll notice that he’s always moving, or emoting— giving the audience a little something extra.  

He never steals scenes from his co-stars, but he’s always the most  interesting thing onscreen. 

 - Horror News   
Exploring the mysterious and dangerous asteroid. Yikes!
Exploring the mysterious and dangerous asteroid. Yikes!
THE GREEN SLIME was an American/Japanese co-production shot in Tokyo with a mostly American cast (extras are Japanese or played by  American servicemen stationed in Japan) and a Japanese director giving  the film a stilted, off-the-wall international quality. 

It was shot in  English but crudely post-dubbed and the whole cast has English monikers  regardless of their ethnicity (exotic Italian beauty Luciana Paluzzi plays…..Lisa Benson!).  

Square-jawed Robert Horton (a TV actor best known for starring in WAGON  TRAIN) delivers a comically wooden lead performance as the arrogant and  condescending Rankin. 

As Elliott, Richard Jaeckel seems to have more  fun with his role and he makes a good space hero (Jaeckel stayed in  Japan to costar in the equally absurd LATITUDE ZERO before returning to  Hollywood and Oscar-nominated the next year for SOMETIMES A GREAT  NOTION). 

Luciana Paluzzi had made a splash as Bond girl Fiona Volpe in THUNDERBALL in 1965 and makes for equally sexy here. 

Director Kinji  Fukasaku went on to make cult items MESSAGE FROM SPACE in 1978 (a gonzo  STAR WARS knockoff starring Sonny Chiba that featuresmassive  sailboats in space!) and the controversial “teens- killing-teens” epic  BATTLE ROYALE in 2000. 

THE GREEN SLIME’s toy-like special effects are hardly realistic, but there are a ton of them and most are ambitious and imaginatively designed. The spaceships look like models because they are models and the fact that they are way overlit doesn’t help. 

It’s  the monsters themselves that make THE GREEN SLIME so memorable. 

Squat  and lumpy, with one giant red eye surrounded by many smaller eyes, the  rubbery, tentacle-waving gremlins were played by Japanese children in  clumsy suits. They seem more than a bit silly today but, with their  high-pitched electronic squeal, were pretty nightmarish to young  audiences in 1968.  

 - My Favorite Movies: The One About the Green Slime That I Saw at the Theater When I Was Six  

The Plot

Packing more goofy models and props than most Godzilla films comes this lovely piece of b-cinema.

I still want to know who starched Commander Rankin’s face while he was smiling, either the guy is a loon or he’s on some serious happy pills. Prozac boy gets things done though; when you have a rogue asteroid hurtling toward Earth he’s the man to call. (Not Bruce Willis, mind you.)

... a brilliantly artificial and eerily vibrant landscape which writer  Richard Harland Smith accurately described as perfectly evocative of the  Major Matt Mason space station and lunar base command toy sets of the  1960s, reproduced with full-scale reverence and a dash of pop sci-fi  psychedelia.

-Trailers from Hell  
Fighting the oozy and tentacled greenslime monsters.
Fighting the oozy and tentacled greenslime monsters.

When the astronauts land to place their bombs they find the asteroid is inhabited by strange blobs of glowing slime that are drawn to the equipment. After blasting off and barely escaping the massive explosion (Imagine an orange and brown papier mache’ ball with half a stick of dynamite inside and you’re golden.) the heroes return to Space Station Gamma 3.

Just because The Green Slime predates Alien and Armageddon  doesn’t mean it’s some visionary piece of science fiction cinema. On  the surface it’s a subpar space opera with rubber-suited monsters,  cheesy miniatures and a cast of B-movie veterans struggling to kill  aliens while keeping a straight face. 

But despite its myriad of  deficiencies The Green Slime is a charming time capsule of mid  sixties camp. 

Watching its colorful “mod” sets, plastic helmeted  astronauts and man-in-a-suit monsters is like sprawling in a bean bag  chair, sipping a can of Schlitz while feeling the luxurious shag  carpeting beneath your toes.

Scientists aboard the Gamma-3 space  station discover a massive asteroid careening towards earth. 

UN Space  Command dispatches their bravest and squarest jawed astronaut (Robert  Horton) to command the mission to destroy the deadly celestial body,  which looks like a cat toy you’d find moldering under the couch. 

But our  hero has a long simmering feud with the space station’s commander  (Richard Jaeckel) who stole his fiancée (Luciana Paluzzi) who happens to  be the space station’s resident doctor. Putting their differences aside  they land on the asteroid, drill holes, plant nukes and zip back to the  space station, barely escaping the atomic blast. 

The earth is saved, but during their escape a small bit of green slimy alien life adheres itself to an astronaut’s space suit and hitches a ride to Gamma-3. 

Due  to the station’s high oxygen (or testosterone) levels the little blob of  space spooge sprouts into a menagerie of man sized monsters shooting  electricity from their tentacles. 

Will the astronauts defeat the alien  invaders? Will the big haired sexy doctor dump her beau for her brick  headed ex fiancé? Will our two heroes finally give in to their seething  homoerotic tension and be as god made them? Its all part of The Green Slime experience. 

 - Horror News 

Unfortunately, for everyone, some of the slime was carried back on a space suit. It soon evolves into a tentacled creature! So the thing kinda looks like Sigmund the Sea Monster – he never fried anyone with several thousand volts of electricity. (Yes, I know it’s the amps that get you.) This gives a nice excuse for Elliott and Rankin to have a power struggle over who is in charge, the latter a firm believer in “shoot first ask questions later.”

This poor doctor went back into the midst of the greenslime monsters to get his papers. Bad movie Doc. Bad move.
This poor doctor went back into the midst of the greenslime monsters to get his papers. Bad movie Doc. Bad move.

Another unfortunate fact about Green Slime: even a single drop of blood will grow into a new monster. So now you have dozens of pissed off Sigmunds running around electrocuting the crew, good job Rankin.

In the end humanity is saved by crashing Gamma 3 into Earth’s atmosphere, incinerating the Green Slime. Thank goodness something stopped them besides THROWING your laser rifle. The characters often unload at point blank range without effect. Soon as they throw the weapon it goes right through the monster’s eye. Even if you don’t like watching “spacemen” wearing white 1960’s police motorcycle helmets firing “laser guns” at waddling masses of latex monsters you have to love the title song.

Fighting the deadly greenslime inside the space-station.
Fighting the deadly greenslime inside the space-station.

Things I Learned From This Movie: 

  • Asteroids look like a Gobstopper which has been under the refrigerator for ten years.
  • Movies are less interesting from a phone’s objective.
  • Pulsing green muck plays heck with interstellar golf carts.
  • People can stand up and walk around while experiencing ten G’s.
  • Never let a bitter exgirlfriend tend your wound.
  • Alien life is best represented by green soap suds.
  • Space station security guards wear white motorcycle helmets with a little space symbol on them.
  • Golf carts are not four wheel drive.
  • Laser rifles work better as spears.
  • Never hug an ungrounded Green Slime.
The most charming thing about The Green Slime is how the  filmmakers lovingly revel in its cheesiest elements. 

Those miniature  rocket ships don’t zip by in an instant— instead the producers proudly  linger on them as if they were unveiling 2001 A Space Odyssey (1968).  

The unconvincing rubber monsters aren’t confined to fleeting, shadowy  glimpses— Nope, they’re given long loving close-ups under brighter lights than a baseball game. 

I love the filmmakers for having the balls  to do that. Plus Alien never had a rocking psychedelic theme song. Why Richard Delvy’s title tune, actually entitled The Green Slime, never made it onto Lenny Kaye’s classic psychedelic music anthology Nuggets is beyond me. 

The Green Slime’s other achievement is compressing entire plot of Armageddon into the first fifteen minutes. Why couldn’t Michael Bay have done that? 

 - Horror News  
The Gamma 8 space-station.
The Gamma 8 space-station.

Stuff To Watch For: 

  • 2 mins – Nice miniatures, ahm.
  • 13 mins – For some reason this scene is making me horny.
  • 25 mins – Bad dubbing!
  • 48 mins – White motorcycle helmets?
  • 64 mins – RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A FLASHLIGHT!
  • 70 mins – The explosion took out half of the model space station, but not that flimsy door?
  • 75 mins – Elliott could use some boxing lessons.
  • 83 mins – Jack, I’m going to kick your smiling self in the testicles. What do you think of that?
Our brave hero and attractive love interest.
Our brave hero and attractive love interest.
The Green Slime was a coproduction between America’s MGM  Studios and Japan’s Toei Company LTD. But oddly for a Japanese based  production, the entire cast, right down to the extras, is entirely  western. This presented Toei with a genuine casting challenge. 

As a  result the crew of Gamma-3 are a mix of struggling American fashion  models plucked from Tokyo’s fashion runways and American sailors on  shore leave from the nearby Yokosuka Naval base. 

That’s right, those  glamorous young models were thrown together with guys who’d been stuck on an Aircraft Carrier deployed off Vietnam for six months! 

Take a good  look boys… cause this is what you’re fighting for! 

Hidden among the  space stations impossibly pretty female crew is blonde haired Linda  Miller who, a year earlier, had been the lead in the Japanese American  co-production King Kong Escapes. If you ever wake up with a hangover skip the Advil and coffee and try a double bill of The Green Slime and King Kong Escapes— your pain will be forgotten. 

- Horror News  

Conclusion

In 1968 my eight-year-old pals and I absorbed the adventure of The Green Slime and took that template to the playground, turning every jungle gym or set of monkey bars into the Gamma 3. Looking at The Green Slime  today I confess I am not seized with the urge to run over to the nearby  elementary school and start back up where I left off 46 years ago.  After all, there are plenty of reasons to put away childish things, to  bid a safe farewell to childhood and our nostalgia for it. (My bathroom  scale insists this is so.) But for me The Green Slime beautifully recreates a playground of the mind to match the one I had to leave behind.  

-Trailers from Hell

This movie will never get an Oscar award. But it’s a great movie for a rainy day, and fantastic to spend with a case of beer, some friends, a pet and loyal dog (or cat), a loved one and some potato chips. Not the flavored kind, mind you, good “old fashioned” American style salted chips… with dip. Lots and lots of dip.

This is the perfect movie to enjoy when you are stuck inside (like during a biological weapons attack like I am) or whether it is raining cats and dogs outside. Make sure that you have an ample supply of chips, dip and beer. I'll tell you what!
This is the perfect movie to enjoy when you are stuck inside (like during a biological weapons attack like I am) or whether it is raining cats and dogs outside. Make sure that you have an ample supply of chips, dip and beer. I’ll tell you what!
In closing, if you wake up craving a piece of nostalgic science fiction fromage The Green Slime  is exactly what you’re looking for. And don’t forget to sing along to  the psychedelic theme song (later covered by the Fuzztones) for a  totally immersive experience. Everybody sing… You’ll believe it when you find… Something sreamin’ ‘cross your mind… GREEN SLIME… GREEN SLIME!  

 - Horror News   

I do hope that you enjoyed this post. I have other movie review in my Movie Index. Please feel free to check them out…

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What is going on in Hollywood? Have they lost their collective minds?

Here, I argue that Hollywood is not using their innate and basic movie-making skills when pandering to their progressive causes. I argue that not only are they losing money in the process, but they are alienating their viewership base. I thus offer some suggestions to this end to prevent a hemorrhaging of the Hollywood profit model.

Ah. Hollywood.

So famous, and so taken for granted.

The more that I think about it, the more that I am convinced. Indeed, I am convinced that those in Hollywood have found a new profit model. As, it seems, the movies that they are releasing today do not follow the traditional profit model.

Traditional Hollywood Profit Model
You know; you make a good movie, and people pay to watch it. If the movie is really good you get rich. If the movie is poor, you lose money. 

Today, however, it seems that there is a totally different profit model being followed.

Contemporaneous Hollywood Profit Model
Some wealthy oligarch gives you an enormous sum of money to promote some sort of social justice cause and you pocket the money. Whether the movie is popular or not has no bearing on the profit motive.

Yeah. That’s pretty much it. Isn’t it?

Hollywood has become a SJW propaganda arm.

Listen to me.

It’s like a nightmare that no matter how hard you try to run, it never ends. It’s like wack-a-mole. As soon as you hear about one bout of obscenity, there pops up another. Ugh!

License To Drive, the comedy that starred the two Coreys (Haim  and Feldman) and a young Heather Graham in 1988, is being rebooted with  female leads thanks to producer John Davis and 20th Century Fox. 

-Deadline

These kinds of reports flow pretty hard and fast. Yet, I wonder. Just who is this John Davis, and what inspired him to make all-female leads?

League of Extraordinary Ladies

Ah. But this is not the only all-female Hollywood production. If it was, we would just accept it as it is on face value. But, no. It is part of a long on-going trend towards flooding the American movie scene with pale imitations of great movies. All of which that pander to the feminist-wing of the SJW movement.

The first film of Kevin O'Neill and Alan Moore's The League of Extraordinary Gentleman remains  most known for the fallout between star Sean Connery and director  Stephen Norrington. Connery hasn't acted since, and Norrington hasn't  directed. 

The new film is being produced by John Davis, and he's  promises a more "female-centric" take on the material for the upcoming  reboot. No director has thus far been appointed, though, but it's very  much an active project. 

-Den of Geek

Yeah. John Davis strikes again! Just who is this John Davis, and why does he want to do this?

I’m being truthful in this. So please, hear me out.

My off-hand impression is that he wants to avoid the SJW backlash and be associated with the Casting Couch like Harvey Weinstein. He needs to protect himself. So he panders to the SJW folk.

I do not know if this is the actual true case or not. What I do know is that is the most likely explanation for the observed trends. Yes. In my “outsider” mind, the most likely scenario.

Casting Couch
Harvey Weinstein “Casting Couch” Oscars on Hollywood Blvd by artist Plastic Jesus.

I’ll bet you all that there’s a lot of truth in this supposition. Trust your gut instincts, boys and girls.

And for what?

That we, the movie watching public has to endure SJW crap all because John Davis took liberties with his casting couch. Is that why Americans need to put up with all these pale imitations of our treasured movies? Because the producers in Hollywood are afraid of the Weinstein-backlash?

OK.

So the The League of Extraordinary Gentleman is going to be redone. What’s it gonna be called? The League of Extraordinary Ladies. After all, “he promises a more “female-centric” take“. Groan.

It’s a new world.

I used to treasure going to the movies.

Then for a while, I worked as a Movie Theater Manager for a cineplex in Corpus Christi, Texas. (Mann National Twin.) I loved everything about it. I loved the atmosphere, the smell of popcorn, the drapes, the lights and the projector booth. Yes, the hours sucked, but it was “showbiz”.

I loved the movies.

It was important to me. I enjoyed it. It was a good two hours of relaxed imagination. I could go to a movie and be teleported into another world, into another time and another place. If the movie was truly great, I would be moved, put into a great mood, and ponder the lessons of the movie for weeks afterwards.

Strictly Ballroom.
People, it is not our similarity to others that makes us special. It is the uniqueness, and our differences. Yes, being a full woman is just as great as being a full-on man. Why try to pretend that our roles and feelings are interchangeable? We are unique individuals with strengths, emotions, and all the warts that one can well imagine. It is our differences that we should promote and admire, not our similarities.

Not so today.

I don’t know about youse guys, but I have stopped watching movies. I ditched Netflx, and any movies I use are either bought, viewed though a much cheaper paid service or through Torrents. These new “improved” movies are all dog shit.

They really, really are.

Why the “new” movies suck.

These new movies promote the progressive socialist narrative. Which is;

  • Everyone is inherently equal.
  • Differences between all of us must be eliminated.
  • There are no biological differences in gender.
  • Anyone who does not agree with the above is evil.

Yet, for all the promotion of this nonsense, the fact remains that only women can naturally have babies. That babies cannot be created naturally without a male sperm. And that these differences manifest in all sorts of social and cultural constructs that have similarity to each other irregardless of geolocation or historical venue.

So, now we have Hollywood wanting progressive equality. You know like in China where everyone wore the same type of clothing. Or in Cambodia where all the intelligent people were killed.

When you try to PUSH that narrative on Americans, we tune it out and walk away.

Oceans 11 Reboot

The trailer for the new all-female “Ocean’s 11” reboot was unveiled this week. The Hollywood Reporter called it "the capstone 2017 needed." 

Most regular people called it awful and stupid.

What  else could it be other than awful and stupid? It’s a reboot of a remake  of a remake, which means it already has all the fun and freshness of  dried vomit. 

The feminist twist just gives it an extra touch of preachiness and pandering, like a vomit stain that comes to life and  lectures you about the patriarchy. 

-Dailywire

Hey, I have a message for all the Hollywood Producers out there. Stop doing things out of fear of the SJW crowd. It has been my experience that most of what we are afraid of never happens.

To quote from the great movie “Strictly Ballroom“; A life lived in fear is a life half-lived.

“A life lived in fear is a life half lived.” 

-Fran (Strictly Ballroom)

Out of touch with the movie audience.

I sat through the (all female) remake of The Ghost-busters and it was like watching people push needles in little puppies eyes. Ouch it hurt that much. Seriously, just how out of touch can people in Hollywood be to produce such a horrific and painful movie?

The answer is way…way… WAY out of touch.

Seriously. Do you, yourself, personally want to spend time watching this kind of drivel that you are producing? Or, do you think that "normal" Americans are some sort of cattle that you can prod about and feed what ever GMO-enhanced nonsense you desire?

How in the world can anyone, most especially a talented producer, even try to improve upon the Ghost-buster franchise with an all-female flick? Don’t they realize the huge numbers of people that they will alienate?

Message to Hollywood;

Are you all that friggin' blind NOT to realize how out of touch you are with your audience? 

You need to fire your marketing groups because they are spending way too much time in urban high-end Starbucks, and not doing enough "grass roots" research.

Hollywood is a business model. And you, yes you (!) are throwing it out the window so nonchalantly that it astounds me and just about everyone else in America. What exactly is your malfunction?

Maybe that’s it. They don’t understand that they are being very offensive to Joe and Suzy Normal in viewership land. Or… maybe they know, but do not care.

Listen to me.

Yes. Radical feminism, even when presented comically, is offensive.

Radical Feminism is Offensive.

But I expect it won’t be any worse than the fantastically terrible and  pointless female “Ghostbusters” film from a few years ago. 

That one set  the bar for the others, a group that will soon include a  female remake of “Lord of the Flies,” and a female remake of “Dirty  Rotten Scoundrels,” and a female remake of “The Rocketeer.” 

There's also  a female remake  of some movie called "License to Drive," originally starring Corey  Feldman and Corey Haim. The movie is being described as a "female  version of 'Superbad.'" 

I was going to joke that they’re even planning a  female “Expendables” but then I checked and apparently they really are planning a female “Expendables.” 

-Dailywire 

Hey! I don’t want to be rude, but for Pete’s Sakes!

Are you all so afraid of the twitter mobs, and SJW types that you would willingly torpedo your friggin’ life’s work? Are you so timid, and worried about what they might think? Are you so terrified that you might end up in prison?

If so, then you disgust me.

We had the chance, but we were scared. We walked away. WE LIVED OUR LIVES IN FEAR.

-Doug Hastings (Strictly Ballroom)
We lived our lives in fear.
In the movie “Strictly Ballroom”, the father sees a repeat of his mistakes in his son’s actions. During the pause when the son is deciding on what to do, the father screams out (don’t make the same mistakes we made) ” We had the chance, but we were scared. We walked away. WE LIVED OUR LIVES IN FEAR. “.

Do not live a life in FEAR.

I am actually astounded that so many well-known and well-established Hollywood producers are so timid and fearful. You have created great works over the decades. You have made movies that us “normals” loved and admired.

Yet, you are all willing to throw all that away, and replace your great works and talent on producing mediocre sub-par movies to appease the radical feminist movement.

In fact, what is so astounding about this, is that the (so called) movement only has a mere handful of active radicals. The rest is all twitter farms, Facebook farms, and other electronic illusionary measures. They look bigger than they really are.

You can stand up to your fears.
You can stand up to your fears. “In all likelihood, Luhrmann’s film’s attacks on the Dance Federation are just… attacks on the Dance Federation. Luhrmann’s mum was a ballroom dance teacher herself (much like Scott’s parents in the film), so the director presumably grew up with more than a little exposure to the world of competitive dance. There’s a broader message about close-mindedness running through the film – a message that might be even broader than you’d think, if this Luhrmann quote is anything to go by: “It sounds incredible, but we did it at first in response to the Cold War…it was a statement that the individual is not ALWAYS without power.””

Here’s how the rest of America reacts to these progressive causes…

When the Football game on the television set in the local sports-bar starts having (what can best be described as) a Black-hate-fest against “White Privilege” Neo-Nazi rally style that television set gets turned OFF.

When a commercial tries to accuse me of toxic masculinity, I stop using their products. Hey! Growing up, I was the kid being picked on. I do not, absolutely and positively, do NOT appreciate being lumped in with bullies simply because we share the same gender. I set my sights on that product range to OFF.

And when a movie, television show, or actor wants to preach to me in ways that I find RUDE, demeaning, insulting, or in any other way, distasteful, I leave and turn it all OFF.

What’s the matter with youse guys? Or are you all too weak limp-wristed to understand what an insult is and what isn’t?

Tony Soprano
Tony Soprano tells it like it is. Maybe you don’t like his frankness, or his tones, or the choice of words that he uses. However, he is speaking clearly and directly.

Listen to me now.

Or is everyone in Hollywood stuck in an echo-chamber? Are you all being lead around by the cleat in your noses by some radicals that enslave you by fear? Is that what you are?

What are you? Let your creativity shine through.
Whatever the intent, Strictly Ballroom’s moral has a simple resonance. As you’d expect, the film concludes with a triumphant scene of Scott and Fran quite literally dancing to their own beat at the Pan-Pacific Championships. We’ve learned that Barry’s tale of Scott’s father (Barry Otto) jettisoning his chances through refusing to bow to convention was a lie. We’ve learned that Barry’s reign as president was fundamentally corrupt. But, critically, we never learn who wins. While the precise target of Strictly Ballroom’s satire might be unclear, its underlying philosophy – that art is about creativity, not awards – is unmistakable.

I write this to Hollywood, the producers and all those people who have added life, adventure, and romance to the films that I have loved. Do not allow your great works to fade into rust. Do not allow those who want to force you into fear-controlled boxes, destroy your great works. For they are doing so.

Do great things. Stop pandering to those who are driving your actions by fear.

Meanwhile…

Female James Bond

Watch out! Here comes a new “improved” 007 James Bond!

They’ve decided to kill the James Bond franchise by making the next 007 a woman. This is just stupid. Bond is a male fantasy: we kill the bad guys while dressed well and looking sharp and get all the hot women. No man will want to go see Super Chick do that…nor will women, I suspect.

The James Bond franchise will shake things up completely for its  25th instalment, casting a black actress to take over from Daniel Craig  as the new 007 – since re-doing old stories with a PC angle is easier  than writing new ones.     

The UK’s Daily Mail  reports that British actress Lashana Lynch will take over from Craig as  codename 007 in the as-yet-untitled film. The movie will reportedly see  Craig retain the title role, however, being called out of retirement in  Jamaica for one last mission. 

The revelation is not so surprising in an era when 
political correctness has become something of a new religion – and 
naturally, the casting has somewhat ironically prompted much 
divisiveness on social media, where there have been both celebrations of
 the daring move and anger that the long-established brand of the male, 
martini-sipping Bond would be fundamentally changed forever.

People…

What is wrong with Hollywood that they cannot see that this is a big mistake?

The thing that puzzles me is do many women want to see male leads taken by females? 

I  am a great believer in equal rights and when I was about 13 led a, what  now seems very amusing, protest at my school because girls had to take  cookery while boys took metalwork and not being particularly interested  in cookery  I was far more interested in getting my hands on a welding  implement! so I naughtily took the majority of my class to stand in line  outside the metalwork classroom week after week until the headmaster  got fed up and we girls were allowed to have three weeks of metalwork,  the metalwork teacher was a lovely man who was very much on our side and  showed us how to design and make jewellery, i wish I still had the  pendant I made.  I made a lot of enemies though, the boys in my year  hated me because the cookery teacher refused to take them into her  classroom and teach them and so they had to do extra maths lessons  instead and the cookery teacher never forgave me for being so  disruptive.  Everything had changed by the time my boys were in school  and they had cookery classes with the girls and the girls had what is  now called 'design and technology' together with the boys.

But this is just silly, what next? Goldiluke and the the three bears?  a remake of the sound of music with a singing monk?  

-Cobis

How is the 007 franchise improved? Why, by replacing the lead and iconic male figure with a strong female figure. That’s how! Of course all the social progressives are so excited about this latest remake and are flooding their social media accounts with all sorts of praise!

When is someone going to stand up and say this new female James Bond is a load of bollocks??

The  clue is in the title, James Bond is a man, stuff this equality shit!  It's a flipping film character! What next? Cinders a male, Jaws 4 as a  dolphin! Get a grip ffs

— Telvis (@Telv1s) July 15, 2019 

Why I just can’t wait to see a strong female version of James bond, seducing weak-willed men who are just comic jokes and props. Yessur! That will be fun to watch.

NOPE!

Someone needs to BITCH SLAP those idiots that think a re-gendered James Bond is going to be a success. Yeah, just like the re-gendered Star Trek was…

Re-gendered Star Trek

Really bad writing - in fact the worse I have ever seen in a show.  They  hired show-runner from the CW with no sci-fi experience (and CW is  bottom of the barrel in a time when there are tons of good content out  there on streaming services).   

They hired her because they wanted a female show runner and didn't look past gender when setting up the show. Star Trek Discovery is really really bad - If you wondered what network TV is putting out these days, this is one you should watch one episode of to see how bad a show can get.  

This is a perfect example of what happens when someone casts a show based on social justice warrior checklists and has a team of untalented  writers putting out garbage. CBS will not cancel the show because it would be embarrassing for them and the ratings they get are from football and not this show (all access).  

Forget the social justice warrior nonsense, this show is unwatchable if you watch everything star trek. 

-Christopher T (Rotten Tomatoes on Star Trek Discovery)

But hey! If it is so good then why is it universally considered the absolute worst Star Trek franchise out there? Most fans feel like this fellow…

Jesus **** Christ this show is dog **** It's like a horrible soap  opera that is terribly written and it couldn't be further from what Star Trek was when it was good. It's a mess that morons are going to lap up.  The writers of this show can go **** themselves. 

Or this fellow…

This is not Star Trek, it's a show centered in the character of Michael  Burnham, and I had enough of her. 

The "know it all" attitude, the  dramatics, the never stop crying, the every plot centered around her is  highly unnerving. I liked Captain Pike a lot and Saru as well, but the  other characters get on my nerves as well, the camaraderie between them  seems forced, and there is too much drama and crying.

Other problem is the Klingons, that ugly prosthetic that make their faces look rubbery and the muffled voices. Horrible! 

Or this fellow…

I am actually glad Gene Roddenberry is dead so he did not have to see  this abomination. 

Well if he was alive he would not have allowed this  awful show to move forward. It might have made a decent action show but  this is in no way shape or form a Star Trek. 

Just call it something else  or cancel, please? 

I am almost sorry I lived long enough to see my  beloved series destroyed. 

It’s pages upon pages of dislike…

Can this tripe get any worse? Don't bother, go watch The Orville instead. The true new home of ST. 

People, you should NOT rely on twitter or electronic media to determine whether or not a show is popular. Those things can be easily spoofed by electronic farming. You should go into the fan communities, into the areas where most people enjoy these shows and talk to them FACE-to-FACE.

Meet people who live outside your community. This includes your community of business associates, your community of friends, and your local geographical community. You need to reach out to those outside your world.

You will find that in just about every case, people would prefer a NEW movie franchise based up new characters, instead of altering a well-established franchise to fit a SJW narrative.

Truth This.

Anyways, back to James Bond.

Female James Bond

James Bond in Dr. No.
James Bond in Dr. No. James Bond got into all sorts of interesting situations. Often with women who used their beauty to seduce him into compromise. Though he was better than that and always had the upper hand.

There are actors and actresses timidly commenting on the absurdity of gender-swapping this character…

Mirren added: “But that time was different; we could never even have imagined a woman playing that role.”

The actress’ statement comes just two days after former Bond girl Halle Berry said casting 007 as a woman would be a bad call.

“I want women to be tough but I don't know if Bond should be a woman,” the 50-year-old told Entertainment Tonight. 

“I mean, that series is steeped in history, you know from Ian Fleming’s stories. I don't think you can change Bond to a woman.” 

The Die Another Day actress went on: “We can create a new Bond  character that's a woman, and give her a new name, based on that  theory. 

“But I don't know if Bond should be a woman.” 

- Could Helen Mirren be the first female 007? 

There are all sorts of rumors of who will play the new female version of James Bond. Knowing what I know of the idiots in the coastal cities, I wouldn’t be surprised if it is played by Omarosa Manigault.

I call them idiots. Why? Because they are permitting a profitable enterprise to collapse. All to the disdain of its’ shareholders.

What? You think that there are no alternatives to Hollywood? Do you think that it has a forever lock on movies, music, and entertainment? You think that Bollywood will never encroach on the American audience, and that China will never take over...

Have you been paying attention lately?

Nope. You are all in your closed progressive Hollywood bubble, and it is getting smaller and smaller and soon you will suffocate within it. 

Progressives are all for change… as long it is change that they can control. But, you know what? It’s a fantasy. Control is only an illusion. Most of your life there are forces that are beyond what you can control. The only thing that you can control is your very own actions.

That’s all.

So for goodness sakes. Don’t live a life in fear. Stop pandering to the radical feminists.

Female Captain Jack Sparrow

Let me get this straight. Casting Johnny Depp as Captain Jack Sparrow wouldn’t really be fitting. So, what’s the answer?

Why, you need to cast a strong woman in this role. Sort of a female version of Captain Jack Sparrow. Maybe a Jacklin Sparrow. yeah! That will just bring in swarms of people to sit through a two hour long feature length movie.

Captain Jack Sparrow
So Captain Jack Sparrow is going to be cast as a woman in the latest remake or spawned sequel to the Pirates of the Caribbean. I understand that there have been female pirates in the past, but a gender swap of a famous character is not the way you go about these kinds of things.

Stop pandering to the radical feminists.

All Female Ghostbusters

Director/co-writer Paul Feig's no-one-asked-for "Ghostbusters" remake  opens with a big "ugh" and never recovers. 

Naturally, it's a joke aimed at Donald Trump and his supporters -- a heavy-handed haha about an "anti-Irish fence." 

Yep, even before the movie can even cast its spell, the spell is shattered forever by divisive partisanship. From there,  instead of relaxing, you're on guard throughout for the next left-wing sucker punch. 

 -Daily Wire 

Yeah, this went over like a lead balloon.

It was absolutely positive revolting. It was an insult to the original movie, the cast, and all the moviegoers who watched it in theaters when it came out… bought the Betamax tapes, the VHS tapes, the DVD discs, or rented from Blockbuster or viewed it on Netflix.

Screenshot of Ghoastbusters review of the all-female version.
Screenshot of Ghostbusters review of the all-female version. Captured before the Internet could rewrite the historical dialog.

It was a total and complete cluster-FLUXXX.

Look at this cluster of losers…

All Female Ghostbusters
One of the worst movies ever made in the history of movies was the ill-advised remake of Ghostbusters. In it they used females in all the leading roles. It fit them like putting a sock over a snail. It did not fit. NO FRIGGIN’ WAY.

Did I like it? Hell no! I’d rather swim in a pool of pig feces than endure that monstrosity… that horrid… horrid insult to humanity ever again. What the Hell were they thinking?

They weren’t. That’s the point.

As expected, Feig's disaster has a flaming feminist chip on its  shoulder. Every male character is either an asshole, an idiot, or both.  

Which begs the question: Where in the world does this grudge emanate  from? Certainly not the original that gave us Weaver's classy,  independent, sophisticated Manhattan woman and Annie Potts' knowing,  street-smart receptionist.  

-Daily Wire

Read some of the reviews of this monstrosity…

Stop pandering to the radical feminists.

Female John McClane

Why not? Eh?

I mean you’ve got Ocean’s eleven all female, and all the classics are being remade into the progressive socialist narrative, of course there will need to be an all female version of Die Hard.

So…

John McClain
John McClain in the movie “A good day to die hard”. He always plays an average Joe, a regular guy who is confronted with extraordinary circumstances where he and only he alone must confront. Which is the core MALE attribute in all MEN.

These has been no announcements on who would play John or Joan in this role. (My guess is that the backlash has been so negative, that the articles are pulled off the Internet within hours of being posted.) Though, I am betting that it might be someone like Mindy Kaling.

There are more than just a few remakes of movies planned. Some one with deep, deep pockets is flooding Hollywood with all sorts of cash. Seems like a Barrack Obama, or George Soros trademark.

Pause and let that sink in…

I just can't help but think that all those many, many programs that were put in place over the years had some kind of financial feed-back mechanism (illegal, of course) for "social progress".

Or, as I have been saying… stop pandering to the radical feminists.

A (female) American Werewolf in London

Well, the original movie featured a guy who was bit by a werewolf while in London. Why not a female? Well… it’s coming true. It’s been announced.

Heck! Why stop there.

Make her a hijab wearing LGBT transgender person. Right? That way the movie goers can get the full force of SJW immersion, as well as sticking a sharp knife into the sides of all those deplorable Trump followers. Eh?

Besides, it’s well known that London is a progressive global city with Muslim majorities. It would make absolutely and perfect sense. There are far, far, FAR more Muslims in London than Americans.

Yeah.

Make the American Werewolf in London a Muslim.
Make the American Werewolf in London a Muslim. It would be quite fitting. Yeah. Everyone would be breaking down the doors to get in.

Escape from New York

Oh, it’s Snake Plissken all right.

Only this time he is dispatched to New York city to save and rescue a female Senator from the clutches of the despicable deplorables entrapped inside that urban ghetto. I’ll bet you 8 to 10 that she will look a little like Hillary Clinton, Maxine Walters or some other prominent liberal democrat.

Great fare for the cash-heavy urban blacks that follow this narrative.

Untitled Female Expendables

Yeah. An all-women expendables. I suppose that it all began here when some feminists were musing about the take over of the industry.

It has long passed the silly, and entered the world of the absurd.

The expendables.
The original Expendables had enough male movie stars in black to go around. It’s possible some of your relatives are in this picture.

In defiance of history. In defiance with genetics, and the social variances between those with “Y” chromosomes and those without it, this movie is moving forward.

Hey! All youse guys in the room, raise you hand up if you want to watch this absurdity. Obviously the marketing group in Hollywood was on crack when they promoted this film. Why not alienate 99% of the “Expendable” viewing audience, won’t ya?

Stop living your life in Fear of the radical feminists.

Stop living your life in fear of the radical progressive feminists.
Stop living your life in fear of the radical progressive feminists. You need to start living life on YOUR terms, and not let others define what your legacy will become.

Stop living your life in fear. Stop pandering to the radical feminists. Stop allowing them to define what your film legacy will become.

All of Me

Instead of Steve Martin, you now have a woman in the role.

A dying millionaire finds her soul has been transferred to the body of her lawyer. A remake of the 1984 comedy 'All of Me'. 

-IMDB

A life that is lived in fear is a life that is half-lived. Stop allowing your fear of the radical feminists to define your legacy.

Overboard (2018)

It’s a role reversal of the original comedy. Instead of a rich woman falling overboard and forgetting who she is, it’s a rich man who falls overboard.

Kate Sullivan is a single mom of three daughters who works two  jobs while studying to be a nurse. She is assigned to clean carpets on a  yacht owned by spoiled, arrogant playboy Leonardo 'Leo' Montenegro. Leo  makes rude remarks towards Kate and fires her without pay when she  refuses to bring him food. When Kate calls out his behavior, Leo pushes  her off the boat along with her cleaning equipment. Meanwhile, in  Mexico, Leo's sisters Magdalena and Sofia are tending to their ailing  father. Furious when Leo is announced as his successor to run the  family-owned company, Magda decides to visit him. That night, Leo slips  off the yacht and falls into the ocean unnoticed. He wakes up on a beach  with amnesia and no recollection of his identity. He wanders through  town and eventually reaches the hospital. Magda finds him and leaves him  there unclaimed after learning he has amnesia. She returns home and  falsely reports that Leo has died. Sofia suspects Magda is lying. 

-IMDB

Stop allowing the radical feminists to define your life.

Ocean’s Eight (2018)

Debbie Ocean gathers an all-female crew to attempt an impossible heist at New York City’s yearly Met Gala. Pretty much the same plot as the original Ocean’s Eight, only with role reversal. It’s expected to be a great hit with all the progressive millennials in the Untied States today.

This  is just another Hollywood attempt at "Hey! Lets take a classic movie  and flip the casts gender!!!" It's pure pc propaganda. The only reason  that I'm giving it a 2 is because I don't trust these ratings sites  algorithms to take 0's and 1's into account. They may be getting smarter  though and will stop dropping any score below 5. 

-MysticDingo
Just  an all female Reboot of a good and beloved Movie Trilogy. Rihannas  poorly acting skills make this film unwatchable. Don´t do this to  yourself and watch that movie, except you are a fat Feminazi that  rather watches a bad movie with female cast than an actually good movie  with diverse group of men. 

-Metacritic
                                                                 Another gender swap movie  trying to show equality and how "empowered" women are.. It belongs in  the garbage bin along with the people it caters to.

- Zisis151  Jun 10, 2018                         

Stop living your life in fear. Make the best movies that you can make and fear not who you offend.

Make the best films that you are able to. Do not pander to the radical feminists.
Make the best films that you are able to. Do not pander to the radical feminists. A life lived in fear is a life half-lived.

What about all these remakes?

Well there certainly seems like everything is up for grabs in Hollywood. Everything, apparently, can be recast now as either all-female roles or gender swapped. It’s the progressive way. Don’t you know.

But all this is being done absolutely wrong. They are redoing successful films to fit a SJW narrative. Of course, it is bound to fail. People, you produce movies and shows to ENTERTAIN. Not to lecture, or push a particular political agenda.

Concentrate on entertainment.
Concentrate on entertainment of your audience.
Concentrate on the entertainment of your audience.

Concentrate on entertaining your audience.

Some Ideas

Here’s some ideas on how to properly implement progressive ideas into Hollywood movies in such a way that you will not alienate your viewing audience.

First of all, you can have strong female roles that are uniquely female. You do not have the need to apprehend those roles from men…

Entertainment.

The purpose of movies are to entertain. There are many ways to do this. But, no matter what, do not be under the impression that Hollywood has the sole ownership of this medium.

If Hollywood continues to produce lackluster films, the cash-paying audience will start to ignore the movies as not worthy of their time. They will go elsewhere.

You need to entertain.

Thirdly, absurdity is fine.

It’s ok. Everyone knows that this is fiction. So you can create movies as off-the-wall as you would like.

Now. Here’s some ideas…

  • Some are all-female.
  • Some are gender swaps.
  • Others are race or religion swaps.

It’s all part of the new progressive reality. Come on! You’ve got to be fair about it all, right? But only, this time, please concentrate on entertainment.

The Rat Patrol.

Here we have a famous 1960’s series about four men who fight the Nazi’s in Africa by riding jeeps in the desert. We could gender swap them to four women. We could modernize them. Yeah! That’s right. Four women riding high, machine gunning ISIS warriors in the hot desert heat.

They can all be Muslim, head scarves and all, and are fighting the evil ISIS’s and their paternity, and Privilege. They can all wear veils, and long flowing African outfits and carry Tommy guns and Beretta’s under their flowing garments. They could rescue captured women at slave auctions, perform night raids in ISIS camps, and assassinate ISIS leadership.

Have them attractive. Have them wear attractive Arabic clothing. Something like this beauty…

Acacia clothing label.
Beautiful Muslim woman wearing the latest in fashion.

Have them riding specially modified Lamborghini’s and Ferrari’s. You know, with a twin barrelled .50 caliber machine gun, and all sorts of 007 James Bond style high-tech gadgetry. Make it a cross between Raging Women getting back at people who abused them, and a fully equipped mad-scientist lair. Take elements from Miami Vice, and blend it with a little bit of Doctor Phibes.

Make it DIFFERENT.

Oh, and make their outfits extraordinary. Make women want to wear Arabic styled clothing.

You need to understand. By using a “Rat Patrol” template you can create an entirely new series with entirely new characters and situationals without any association from whence the idea was derived from.

Be brave. Push yourself.

The Rat Patrol took place during a tiny sliver of time (5 years) when the Nazi’s actually controlled portions of Northern Africa. I propose the much longer period of time (8+ years) when the ISIS controlled Syria.

The Rat Patrol.
The Rat Patrol: The Rat Patrol is an American action and adventure television series that aired on ABC between 1966 and 1968. The show follows the exploits of four Allied soldiers — three Americans and one Englishman — who are part of a long-range desert patrol group in the North African campaign during World War II. Their mission: “to attack, harass and wreak havoc.

The Munsters

We can have comedies.

Here, we could gender-swap Herman Muster for Harriet Munster, and have Lester (instead of Lilly) as his wife. (Or, maybe a same-sex relationship.) Maybe she could be an Uber driver who is also a Rastafarian who uses comically conspired voodoo on riders in her car.

It would be in color instead of black and white. It could take place on 1313 bad luck lane on a hilly portion of San Francisco. They would be on food stamps, and live in a “colorful” section of town.

Use different theme music. Maybe some kind of upbeat rap.

Make it outrageous. Make it stand apart. Make it so offensive to everyone, and make fun of everything, and the more politically incorrect the BETTER.

have jokes that cater to both Conservatives and Progressives. Mix it up. Make it outrageous!

Grandpa will be replaced with a vampire transgender Grandma, you know, like a Frankenstein creature gone loopy. And the kids can stay the same. That would work, wouldn’t you all think? As an added bonus, we could have Eddie Munster a Muslim Female, and his sister a black transgender gender-less person with three boobs.

The more absurd, the better.

The jokes can all be about modern progressive lifestyle where everyone is just as crazy as they are, and how it is like to fit into modern life in San Francisco. Have them fall in love with an Antifa activist, and have them play checkers with lit candles.

The gags can abound.

For instance, Fido can be free-spirited saber-toothed tiger. Each week with a different hair style and color. They could have ties to the Addams Family, and Harriet Munster can work at the county morgue. They can make comments about the staff filming the episodes, and joke about Hollywood insiders.

Just let it out and sway in the wind.

The Munsters.
The Munsters is an American sitcom depicting the home life of a family of benign monsters starring Fred Gwynne as Frankenstein’s monster-type head-of-the-household Herman Munster, Yvonne De Carlo as his vampire wife, Lily Munster, Al Lewis as Grandpa, the over-the-hill vampire who relishes talking about the “good old days”.

The Andy Griffith Show

You can take traditional America and turn it on it’s head. Just take a normal traditional show and twist and distort it into something completely different. Use different names, and different circumstances.

How about an all-woman Andy Griffith show.

Yeah in small town Mayberry RFD, a woman sheriff and her female deputy keep order in the town. You’ve got a female Otis, and a female Gomer, and a cast of characters that includes a female hairdresser, a female mayor and the daughter of the sheriff. Call it Mayberry Woman’s Auxiliary RFD.

Put elements of food in it. Each week, nice juicy closeups of food porn. All with oozy melted cheese, and sizzling images of meat, and slow motion cutting of fresh bread.

Now, don’t look at me cross-eyed. It could work.

If you are willing to step outside of your West-coast bubble, do some REAL marketing, and brush off some good-old-fashioned movie skills and work… work… work.

The Andy Griffith Show
The Andy Griffith Show is a syndicated family situation comedy series created by Sheldon Leonard and Aaron Ruben, which was broadcast on CBS for eight seasons from 1960 to 1968. Episodes involve Sheriff Andy Taylor (played by Andy Griffith) and his family and friends’ life in a small rural town called Mayberry, North Carolina.

All Female remake of Kelly’s Heroes

Of course, we should have a rolling good time with a all-female remake of Kelly’s Heroes. How about that?

During World War II, Lieutenant Kelly learns of a  German bank located behind enemy lines containing 16 million dollars in  gold bars. His platoon, led by Big Joe, has three days of R&R  coming, so, with the aid of hustler Crapgame, anachronistic hippie  Oddball, three Sherman tanks and a touch of irreverence, Kelly leads his men deep into French territory to steal the gold for themselves. 

-123 Movies

Do it differently. Have the gaggle of gals break into a military base and steal three tanks and then go on a USA-wide bank-robbing spree. Put it in the mid-1990’s and play popular Grunge music from that time period. Have it so that they end up having a parade of people following them sort of like “Forrest Gump” in the running scene.

Model the FBI and other police agencies as a kind of updated “Keystone Cops”.

Have the news media reporting but as a real parody of themselves. Show them making up news, interviewing actors pretending they are eye-witnesses, and generally clueless.

Make it a cross between the movies “9 to 5”, “One Crazy Summer”, and “The Great Train Robbery”.

Follow the same kind of model that was used in the movie “Brother where art thou”; the tales of the adventures of Ulysses. You couldn’t tell the source inspiration for the movie could you?

Kelly's Heroes.
Film is based upon a true incident. The caper was covered in a book called “Nazi Gold: The Sensational Story of the World’s Greatest Robbery – and the Greatest Criminal Cover-Up” by Ian Sayer and Douglas Botting. The heist was perpetrated by a combination of renegade Nazi and American officers. It was also listed as the “biggest” robbery ever in the Guinness Book of Records, in the 1960s.

The Dukes of Hazzard

In this remake, we can have an urban version of the Dukes of Hazzard.

Only it can be about a gang of black urban youth called “The Dukes” who live in a fictional section of Chicago called “The Hazzard” which is a dangerous old industrial area. (You know with pits of sulfuric acid, rusty chains hanging everywhere, lots of metal grid scaffolding, and tons of long deserted buildings and machinery.) They fight the corrupt “Boss” of the town as they cart meth from one end of the town to another, while dealing with the local constables and a pimp that goes by the name of Boss Hog.

Oh, and they drive in a pimped out white BMW that they call the Lil Layzie . The series can feature different rap songs every episode. It could work. I tell you.

The Dukes of Hazzard.
The Dukes of Hazzard is an American action-comedy television series that was aired on CBS from January 26, 1979, to February 8, 1985. The show aired for a total of 147 episodes spanning seven seasons. The series was inspired by the 1975 film Moonrunners, which was also created by Gy Waldron and had many identical or similar character names and concepts.

Roots

Oh boy! I can see all the BLM howling. But, it makes sense, actually. The very first slaves to the Americas were Irish. It might not be the politically correct thing to say, but it is historically truthful.

Of course the progressives have done their best to rewrite this narrative. You can find their rebuttals at the very top of all the Google and Bing search results. But, it's not a fantasy. Personally, it's a small part of my very own family legacy.

Yeah, now let’s have a gender swap and race swap of the television series Roots. Yeah. After all that is what progressiveness is all about, isn’t it?

Or is it about POWER?

Conclusion

You can gender swap all you want using similar themes and context, however the movie (or television show) should stand alone on it’s own merits.

You absolutely cannot produce a female version, or a different racial version, of a long held and long established character, theme or franchise successfully.

The reason for this is simple. People gravitate to the familiar, and are repelled by that they are unaccustomed to.

You should branch out and try something different that can stand alone and aloof. Give it depth and breadth and substance. make it immersive, and people will fall in love with your for it.

Follow the Lord of the Rings model.

You will know that you are successful when few people would associate your new creation with the movie or show that you might have spawned if off of.

The failures (in Hollywood movies) that we see today, are due to inappropriate pandering to an aggressive SJW army for “progressive justice” in lieu of actual content that can be successfully monetized.

I argue that while there might be protective and conservative reasons for accepting this pandering venue, it is counter productive in the long run.

As such I argue that the creative license should be used creatively, and in such a way that the final product cannot, would not, or in any way be associated with some sort of SJW revisionism effort.

Posts Regarding Life and Contentment

Here are some other similar posts on this venue. If you enjoyed this post, you might like these posts as well. These posts tend to discuss growing up in America. Often, I like to compare my life in America with the society within communist China. As there are some really stark differences between the two.

Why no High-Speed rail in the USA?
Link
Link
Link
Tomatos
Link
Mad scientist
Gorilla Cage in the basement
The two family types and how they work.
How to manage a family household.
Link
Soups, Sandwiches and ice cold beer.
Pleasures
Work in the 1960's
School in the 1970s
Cat Heaven
Corporate life
Corporate life - part 2
Build up your life
Grow and play - 1
Grow and play - 2
Baby's got back
Link
A womanly vanity
Army and Navy Store
Playground Comparisons
Excuses that we use that keep us enslaved.

More Posts about Life

I have broken apart some other posts. They can best be classified about ones actions as they contribute to happiness and life. They are a little different, in subtle ways.

Being older
Things I wish I knew.
Link
Travel
PT-141
Bronco Billy
How they get away with it
Paper Airplanes
Snopes
Link
Link
Link
Link
Link
Link
Link
Link
1960's and 1970's link
Democracy Lessons
The Rule of Eight

Articles & Links

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When Hollywood was capable of making decent movies; The Abominable Dr. Phibes (1971)

Here is a movie that I loved as a kid. There are people who think that it is a piece of Satanic propaganda. I disagree. I just think that it is a chunky tongue in cheek, campy, pseudo horror flick from the 1970’s.

Here’s my take on this masterpiece of camp.

They just don’t make ‘em like The Abominable Dr. Phibes* anymore. In fact, they just don’t make ‘em like Vincent Price  anymore, either. Dr. Phibes, first off, is the definitive role that  Vincent Price was born to play, and second off, is firmly embedded in a  different time. He belongs to the era of 1950s EC Comics horror titles  such as “Tales from the Crypt,” “The Vault of Horror,” and “Weird  Fantasy.” 

-All Horror

A Satanic Movie?

Well, well. It turns out that the Church of Satan founder Anton Szandor LaVey has claimed that the main character in this Vincent Price film was based on him.

I would have never even associated Vincent Price with any kind or works of Satan. He was, after all, just an actor who played Satanic roles to the “T”.

The Abominable Dr. Phibes is a 1971 British dark comedy horror film, produced by Ronald S. Dunas and Louis M. Heyward, directed by Robert Fuest, written by William Goldstein and James Whiton, and starring Vincent Price and Joseph Cotten. 

Its art deco sets, dark humour, and performance by Price have made the film and its sequel Dr. Phibes Rises Again cult classics. 

-Wikipedia.

Anyways, this character’s name is Dr. Anton Phibes and he’s an organist, researcher, medical doctor, biblical scholar and ex-vaudevillian who has created a clockwork band of robot musicians to play old standards at his whim.

Now, in hindsight, seeing as how nearly all of these things match up with Satanist LaVey, I can kind of see his point. Kinda.

Though, this movie isn’t going to be useful for recruiting anyone to follow Satan, I’m afraid.

“I won’t do another Phibes film unless Robert Fuest directs it. He’s the only person in the world who is mad enough to direct the Dr. Phibes films. He’s a genuine, registered nut! He even looks like a madman. He’s all over the place, like an unmade bed. What imagination he has. They were all his ideas…. Bob has never done anything that was nearly as good as the Dr. Phibes films.”
— Vincent Price, 1979

The Movie

Dr. Phibes main ballroom.
The film begins with a dark figure playing gothic music on a huge pipe organ. The audience for this recital of sorts seems to be having a wonderful time…until you look a bit closer. They are all mannequins seated in positions that give the illusion that they are enjoying themselves in a lavish nightclub. Then we see the first appearance of Vulnavia (Virginia North). Though she never speaks a word through the entire movie, Vulvania has quite an impact. Vulnavia and the organ player proceed through a highly ritualized chain of events, gliding through loading an automobile with a large box, driving to a swank part of London and arriving at a large British mansion.

The sets in this movie are amazing and lavish.

This movie is one I can’t be quiet about. It’s one of the strangest and most delightful films I’ve ever seen.

Dr. Phibes (his particular field is never given) is an underground  aristocrat in early 20th-century London, who is bereaved of his late  wife Victoria after a fatal car crash. Phibes himself is also presumed  dead by the authorities, since his own car went off a cliff when he was  en route to his wife. Victoria died on the operating table, the doctors  unable to help her, and now Dr. Phibes has sworn vengeance against the  doctors he blames for his wife’s death.

So what, he’s going to  hire lawyers and sue for malpractice? Oh no, much too common. He’s going  to kill them off one by one! To do so, he’s going to hatch contrived  murder traps based (very loosely) upon the ten plagues of Egypt  mentioned in both the Quran and the Bible. What, do you expect him to  take a gun and shoot them, like a bourgeois commoner? Nope, his traps  involve several species of animal, in between intricate mechanical  devices that must have cost a fortune to research and manufacture for  this single use. He also has a pendant necklace for each victim, which  he will hang around a wax bust of its target after a successful kill and  melt with a blowtorch. 

 -All Horror 

Dr. Anton Phibes died in Switzerland, racing back home upon hearing the news that his beloved bridge Victoria (an uncredited Caroline Munro) had died during surgery.

The abominable Dr. Phibes 2
On team Phibes, we have his mute but fashionable assistant, Vulnavia (Virginia North). When she isn’t running errands for Dr. Phibes transporting cages of deadly animals around London, she’s dancing up a storm with him in his underground ballroom or providing moral support playing a violin that’s color-coordinated to match her current outfit.

The truth is that Phibes has survived, scarred beyond belief and unable to speak, but alive. He uses all of the skills that he’s mastered to rebuild his face and approximate a human voice.

Oh yeah. Aside from all that, he also may or may not be a tad bit insane.

The abominable Dr. Phibes 3
The police, led by Inspector Trout (Peter Jeffrey), keep a stiff upper British lip as they scurry around England trying to put together clues to all the steampunk devices and menagerie of exotic creatures. They’re pretty far behind the mad Dr. Phibes and don’t catch up very quickly. The targeted doctors themselves aren’t exactly elusive prey either, as they’re all dupes who spend more time nurturing obsessions with stag movies or model trains than taking the police warnings seriously. When caught, they have a tendency to sit politely and accept their deaths rather than do something so un-British-like as get up and run away, because they haven’t been excused.

Now, Phibes believes that the doctors who operated on his wife were incompetent and therefore must pay for their insolence. So he does what anyone else would do: visit the Biblical ten plagues of Egypt on every single one of them.

Now people, listen up! That’s how you get revenge, and do it properly.

The Tale of the Killdozer.

Phibes is, of course, played by Vincent Price. No one else could handle this role. Or this movie.

There’s hardly any dialogue for the first ten minutes of the movie. Instead, there are long musical numbers of Phibes and his clockwork band playing old standards. In fact, Phibes doesn’t speak for the first 32 minutes of the movie.

Anyone who asks questions like “Why?” and says things like “This movie makes no sense” will be dealt with accordingly.

The abominable Dr. Phibes 4
But we haven’t gotten around to Phibes himself yet! He’s disfigured from his own accident, so he wears a mask that bears a remarkable resemblance to Vincent Price, and he’s rendered unable to speak, so he has to plug a huge-horned Victrola into a cord on the side of his neck and mime along with his own dubbed dialogue. He completes this eccentric performance by being a fashionable man-about-town, and his disfigurement doesn’t stop him from having unbounded pride in his appearance, as his face is plastered as a logo on the walls of his mansion and even the tinted windows of his car.

After the first few murders, Inspector Trout gets on the case. He becomes Phibes’ main antagonist for this and the following film, trying to prove that all of these murders — the doctors and nurse who had been on the team of Dr. Vesalius (Joseph Cotten!) — are connected.

Phibes then stays one step ahead of the police, murdering everyone with bees, snow, a unicorn statue, locusts and rats, sometimes even right next to where the cops have staked him out.

The abominable Dr. Phibes 5
Dr Phibes spends his free time playing an organ in his underground lair, accompanied by a whole orchestra of automatons dubbed “Dr. Phibes Clockwork Wizards.” His other pursuits include delivering rambling eulogies to his late wife, to whom he has built a shrine. In a career with some serious ham and cheese in it, Dr. Phibes is one of Vincent Price’s hammiest roles!

Vulnavia

Dr. Phibes is assisted by the lovely Vulnavia. We’re never informed that she’s a robot, but the opinion of others, she actually is. Both she and the doctor are the most fashion-forward of all revenge killers I’ve seen outside of Meiko Kaji and Christina Lindberg.

Writer William Goldstein wrote Vulnavia as another clockwork robot with a wind-up key in her neck. Fuest thought that Phibes demanded a more mobile assistant, so he made her human, yet one with a blank face and mechanical body movements.

 "Easy does it. I think it's a left-handed thread." 

— Policeman unscrewing a victim impaled by a unicorn horn,  The Abominable Dr. Phibes 

I still like to think that she’s a machine, particularly because she returns in the next film after her demise here. Also — Fuest rewrote nearly the entire script.

The abominable Dr. Phibes 6
The Abominable Dr. Phibes is a cult classic today, even amongst the non-horror muggles. The film plays a strident note in between camp and grotesque, with art-deco sets and baroque flourishes everywhere. While there isn’t much to the story beyond “madman kills people in obsessive revenge,” the style trumps the substance. One minor quibble is that the scenes involving animals, in those pre-CGI days, didn’t get the animals full cooperation and seem to be more cuddly than threatening. And of course, the whole thing is dated and intentionally corny, so if you like your horror serious, this isn’t the film for you.

The Key to the Heart

After killing off everyone else — sorry Terry-Thomas! — Phibes kidnaps Dr. Vesalius’ son and implants a key inside his heart that will unlock the boy. However, if the doctor doesn’t finish the surgery on his son in six minutes — the same amount of time he had spent trying to save Phibes’ wife — acid will rain down and kill both he and his boy.

Against all odds, Vesalius is successful.

Dr Phibes -misc
The Abominable Dr Phibes is a camp masterpiece. It has a sublime elegance – what other film could offer up a scene where a man’s blood is drained to the accompaniment of a woman in furs standing outside playing a melancholic violin solo. There is such a droll sense of humor at work here – like the moment Vincent Price’s deformed title doctor pours a glass of champagne and then tips it up to his neck to drink, or puts a finger dipped in the vegetable juice to his neck to taste the flavor. There is the joyously droll moment where Maurice Kaufman is impaled against the wall on the horn of a unicorn head fired from a cannon, with the bumbling police then having to unscrew the body from the wall, while arguing over which way the thread of the horn’s screw runs.

But… Poor Vulnavia.

Vulnavia, in the middle of destroying Phibes’ clockwork orchestra, is sprayed by the acid and killed while the doctor himself replaces his blood with a special fluid and lies down to eternal sleep with his wife, happy that he has had his revenge.

The abominable Dr. Phibes 8
The Abominable Dr Phibes is a camp masterpiece. It has a sublime elegance – what other film could offer up a scene where a man’s blood is drained to the accompaniment of a woman in furs standing outside playing a melancholic violin solo. There is such a droll sense of humor at work here – like the moment Vincent Price’s deformed title doctor pours a glass of champagne and then tips it up to his neck to drink, or puts a finger dipped in the vegetable juice to his neck to taste the flavor. There is the joyously droll moment where Maurice Kaufman is impaled against the wall on the horn of a unicorn head fired from a cannon, with the bumbling police then having to unscrew the body from the wall, while arguing over which way the thread of the horn’s screw runs.

The Ten Plagues

If you’re interested, the ten plagues Phibes unleashes are:

  • Blood: He drains all of Dr. Longstreet’s blood
  • Frogs: He uses a mechanical frog mask to kill Dr. Hargreaves at a costume party
  • Bats: A more cinematic plague than lice from the Biblical plagues, Phibes uses these airborne rodents to kill Dr. Dunwoody
  • Rats: Again, better than flies, rats overwhelm Dr. Kitaj and cause his plane to crash
  • Pestilence: This one is a leap, but the unicorn head that kills Dr. Whitcombe qualifies
  • Boils: Professor Thornton is stung to death by bees
  • Hail: Dr. Hedgepath is frozen by an ice machine
  • Locusts: The nurse is devoured by them thanks to an ingenious trap
  • Darkness: Phibes joins his wife in eternal rest during a solar eclipse
  • Death of the firstborn: Phibes kidnaps and the son of Dr. Vesalius

I love that this movie appears lost in time. While set in the 1920’s, many of the songs weren’t released until the 1940’s. Also, Phibes has working robots and high technology, despite the era the film is set in.

The abominable Dr. Phibes 7
Vincent Price gives the best performance of his life as a madman, seemingly trapped inside his own face, all the time delivering hilariously flowery eulogies to his dead wife via speaker-phone. There is that marvelously wicked little chuckle he gives, sitting sniffing a daisy as he watches one victim go down in a plane. He’s perfect. The scenes in the house as Price and the lovely never-speaking Virginia North sweep across the ballroom floor, amid painted Art Deco cycloramas and a clockwork orchestra have a beautiful, elegant sophistication. There is also a superb score.

There’s nothing quite like this movie. I encourage you to take the rest of the day off and savor it.

A Satanic Film?

How does Phibes live up to being a Satanic film? In my opinion, Phibes embodies one of the nine Satanic statements to its utmost: Satan represents vengeance instead of turning the other cheek.

Indeed, the men and woman whose negligence led to the loss of Phibes’ wife were never punished. Phibes had to become their judge, jury and yes, destroyer.

The abominable Dr. Phibes 10
If you are planning on spending some time this weekend watching a movie, whether in the comfort of your own company, or with a sweetheart or friend, I’d like to recommend The Abominable Dr. Phibes for your evening’s selection. In this cult horror classic directed by Robert Fruest, screen legend Vincent Price is the eponymous Dr. Phibes, a reclusive genius who can build incredible musical automatons, play a mean organ, waltz till the cows come home, and still manage to exact his carefully cultivated plan of vengeance, all while wearing great capes.

On the other hand — or hoof, as it were — Phibes is the exact antithesis of the ninth Satanic sin, Lack of Aesthetics, which states that “an eye for beauty, for balance, is an essential Satanic tool and must be applied for greatest magical effectiveness.

It’s not what’s supposed to be pleasing—it’s what is.

Aesthetics is a personal thing, reflective of one’s own nature, but there are universally pleasing and harmonious configurations that should not be denied.” So much of what makes this film is that Phibes’ musical art is just as essential as his demented nature and abilities.

Music is the core of his soul, not just revenge.

Vulnavia from the first Dr. Phibes movie.
If you are planning on spending some time this weekend watching a movie, whether in the comfort of your own company, or with a sweetheart or friend, I’d like to recommend The Abominable Dr. Phibes for your evening’s selection. In this cult horror classic directed by Robert Fruest, screen legend Vincent Price is the eponymous Dr. Phibes, a reclusive genius who can build incredible musical automatons, play a mean organ, waltz till the cows come home, and still manage to exact his carefully cultivated plan of vengeance, all while wearing great capes. Assisted by his stylish, silent accomplice Vulnavia (Virginia North), Phibes carries out murderous revenge, styled (if a little loosely) after the Ten Plagues of Egypt, on the various medical professionals he believes botched his wife’s medical treatment and caused her untimely death.

Back to Dr. Anton LaVey

Another point of view comes from Draconis Blackthorne of the Sinister Screen: “This is an aesthetically-beauteous film, replete with Satanic architecture as well as ideology. Those who know will recognize these subtle and sometimes rather blatant displays.

Obviously, to those familiar with the life of our Founder, there are several parallels between the Dr. Anton Phibes character and that of Dr. Anton LaVey – they even share the same first name, and certain propensities.”

So maybe it is a kind of homage to Satanist Dr. Anton LaVey.

Conclusion

Homage or not, it’s a great movie, and a fun watch. It’s not like anyone is going to be seduced to the dark side by this movie. It’s just plain campy fun.

 This film is an intriguing tale of revenge. The sets are “70s  spectacular” and the performances by Price and North are extraordinary.  There are a few elements that really make this horror movie work:

 • The murders are done in very creative and ingenious ways, using intricate devices and techniques. (Somebody watched The Abominable Dr Phibes before writing the horror movie Saw I’m sure)

 • Vincent Price pulls no punches in his over-the-top portrayal of the  good doctor, and makes him believable, as only Vincent Price could.

 • Humor and levity intermix with horror and intrigue, and this rescues The Abominable Dr Phibes from being a total cheese-fest.

 • The style and, well, “bigness” of the visuals, characters and music  result in this not just being a great Vincent Price movie, but a work  of art where every element fits together just right.

 The Abominable Dr Phibes showcases the brilliance of 70s  style and of the mastery of Vincent Price. Many of the younger folks may  have missed him altogether, which is a shame. I do think, though, that  one of the best contributions that the freak-show Michael Jackson has  made to the world is introducing Vincent Price to a whole new generation  of horror-buffs by using his voice in the pop music hit “Thriller” from  the 80s. Now, watch The Abominable Dr Phibes and REALLY get a taste of what made this man great. 

-Horror Freak News

Some cool links

Torrent Links

You can watch it for free if you don’t mind waiting a half an hour to half a day to download the torrent.

For those of you who are unaware. Torrents are parts of files that are spread out in tiny packets all over the internet. You use a "Bit Torrent" client to vacuum up all those little bits and pieces of the file. It then assembles the file into a movie that you can watch. The time that this takes can vary from a few minutes to weeks depending on how popular or obscure your searched file is.

You will need an application to manage the download. I recommend the free application VUZE. To download the video is thus easy. Install VUZE, and then click on one of the following torrent links.

Depending on where you live, you might not have the freedom to access these sites and the ISP might block them from access, or the search engines might black out their search results. Americans, in particular, might have some real problems. Therefore, I listed the most accessible torrent sites available to Americans. Pirate Bay and 1337X. I think that Kick Ass Torrents is still blocked for all Americans.

Google and Bing will most certainly block certain websites, and avoid others at the request of the United States government. From “Uncle Sam’s” point of view, you go after the “low handing fruit” that the vast bulk of Americans use. Then ridicule the outliers as “misfits”, “deplorables”, and “Nazi’s”.

Kick Ass Torrents
The international website “Kick Ass Torrents” was seized by the Department of Homeland Security. The reason being that they offered royalty free downloads of copyrighted movies and music. Thanks to President Obama, visiting any of these websites is a federal crime that Americans are forbidden to visit. Even for a nano-second.

As far as privacy is concerned, Bing will alter the behavior of the Search Engine if you live in the EU.

Movies that Inspired Me

Here are some movies that I consider noteworthy and worth a view. Enjoy.

The Seventh Voyage of Sinbad.
Jason and the Argonauts
The Golden Voyage of Sinbad (1973)

Stories that Inspired Me

Here are reprints in full text of stories that inspired me, but that are nearly impossible to find in China. I place them here as sort of a personal library that I can use for inspiration. The reader is welcome to come and enjoy a read or two as well.

Link
Space Cadet (Full Text) by Robert Heinlein
Link
Link
Link
Link
Link
Link
Link
Link
The Last Night
The Flying Machine
A story of escape.
All Summer in a day.
The Smile by Ray Bradbury
The menace from Earth
Delilah and the Space Rigger
Life-Line
The Tax-payer
The Pedestrian
Time for the stars.
Glory Road by Robert Heinlein
Starman Jones (Full Text) by Robert Heinlein.
The Lottery (Full Text) by Shirley Jackson
The Cold Equations (Full Text)
Farnham's Freehold (Full Text) by Robert Heinlein
Invisible Boy (Full Text) by Ray Bradbury
Job: A Comedy of Justice (Full Text) by Robert Heinlein
Spell my name with an "S" by Isaac Asimov
The Proud Robot (Full Text)
The Time Locker
Not the First (Full Text) by A.E. van Vogt

My Poetry

My Kitten Knows

Articles & Links

You’ll not find any big banners or popups here talking about cookies and privacy notices. There are no ads on this site (aside from the hosting ads – a necessary evil). Functionally and fundamentally, I just don’t make money off of this blog. It is NOT monetized. Finally, I don’t track you because I just don’t care to.

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When Hollywood still knew how to make movies; The Golden Voyage of Sinbad (1973)

I have composed a number of posts that involved special effects by Ray Harryhausen. I listed them simply because, as a boy, the visuals and the adventure that was portrayed in the movies greatly appealed to me. They influenced me. Which was something that is most certainly lacking in the latest Hollywood fare. (That is, unless you are an LGBT with an inferiority complex.)

Here, I want to discuss another of his great works. The Golden Voyage of Sinbad.

Sinbad and his crew intercept a homunculus carrying a golden tablet. Koura, the creator of the homunculus and practitioner of evil magic, wants the tablet back and pursues Sinbad. Meanwhile Sinbad meets the Vizier who has another part of the interlocking golden map, and they mount a quest across the seas to solve the riddle of the map, accompanied by a slave girl with a mysterious tattoo of an eye on her  palm. They encounter strange beasts, tempests, and the dark interference of Koura along the way.

-AVXHM  
The golden voyage of Sinbad.
The golden voyage of Sinbad is a classic in itself. It too held claim to all sorts of creative monsters, some huge, some multi-limbed, some that flew, and others that were magical. All of which were amazing to me.

The Movie

It all starts to unravel when Sinbad fires an arrow at a strange creature that flies over his ship.

As the creature dodges the arrow, it ends up dropping an amulet it is carrying. Let me pause here for a second. A strange creature? It’s carrying a magic (we suppose, after all what other purpose would an amulet have) amulet, which it drops, and Sinbad gathers up.

Kali
Kali is a multi-armed creature creation that Sinbad must battle with. You can well imagine the problems and issues that you must contend with when dealing with a six armed purple creature.

Sinbad makes landfall, and almost immediately meets an evil sorcerer. We know he is evil because he immediately engages Sinbad in fisticuffs. His attempts to forcibly take the amulet from Sinbad is rebuffed.

The sorcerer’s name is Koura. He’s a fellow that you don’t want to get tangled up with.

So Sinbad seeks out a safe haven, and is eventually granted refuge by the benevolent ruler of the city, known as the Grand Vizier. This fellow too has tangled up with Koura. For today he has been forced to hide his face behind a beaten gold mask. You see, his face is all terribly disfigured after Koura burnt it away with a fireball.

Golden Voyage of Sinbad.
Check out the slave girl that tags along with Sinbad. Yowsa! ( Actress Caroline Munro ) This is how she spends the majority of The Golden Voyage of Sinbad (Gordon Hessler, 1973). Yet, despite the ludicrous neckline and the constant layer of oil/sweat she still manages to draw your eyes up and away from her chest and towards her eyes. It takes a lot of presence to up-stage that bust, but Munro had it by the ton.

The Vizier shows Sinbad a companion amulet and the drawing of a third one. All three amulets form a map that leads to a fountain of youth on the island of Lemuria.

Harryhausen’s creations include the winged, miniature homunculus; an  ensorcelled figurehead that tears itself loose from Sinbad’s ship; a  one-eyed centaur; a gryphon that guards the Fountain of Destiny; and,  most impressively, a six-armed statue of Kali which performs an Indian  dance before dueling against Sinbad’s men with six swords. 

It’s really  the Kali sequence that makes this such a memorable film. 

With his  typical attention to detail, Harryhausen hired an Indian dancer (Surya  Kumari, also a noted actress and singer) to choreograph and perform as  Kali with one of her students strapped to her back. 

The dance was then  scored with Indian musicians, and the sudden switch in flavor (as our  ears have already been conditioned to an hour or so of Rózsa’s romantic  adventure music) is in synch with the charged, magical atmosphere of the  statue coming to life. 

For the swordfight, nearly as elaborate as the  celebrated skeleton battle in Jason and the Argonauts, stunt  choreographer Fernando Poggi tied three of his men together to rehearse  the action with the actors, then removed themselves and let the actors  shadow-box before the cameras, with Harryhausen’s Kali to be added  later. 

It’s a showstopping fight and, it must be said, far more rousing  than the typical poke-with-spears action that so many Harryhausen action  scenes become (or, in fact, the earlier scene with the ship’s  figurehead). It’s one for the highlight reels. 

 -Midnight Only 

With the complete amulet, The Grand Vizier will be able to stop Koura’s ravages on the kingdom. And so Sinbad and the Vizier set sail on an expedition to Lemuria.

Caroline Munro
Listen up. After Caroline Munro was in a 007 film, she entered in one of my all time (yes my absolute all time) favorite cult movies. That’s right. Caroline’s first big role was in 1971, opposite Horror legend Vincent Price in “The Abominable Dr. Phibes” – playing the deceased Mrs. Victoria Regina Phibes. What a woman. What an actress!

However, Koura desires the amulet too. As all bad guys learn sooner or later, there is a price when using dark magic. His use of the amulet has taken it’s tool. For each time he used it, a little bit of life was stolen from him. Thus, he needs and covets that amulet in the vain hope of regaining his youth. You know, the youth and life that each spell he casts steals from him.

Koura sets sail determined to stop them. And thus, the adventure movie begins…

Some Background

It all sort of began with the movie The 7th Voyage of Sinbad (1958). This movie was a landmark in fantasy cinema, and was often imitated over the next decade.

The Seventh Voyage of Sinbad.

Most importantly, it brought to prominence the name of special effects man Ray Harryhausen and his fantastical creatures. Now, Ray Harryhausen was more than just a specialist in the process of stop-motion animation. He was a genus. Here, it is much like claymation. Created figurines are meticulously moved and photographed one frame at a time.

The Golden Voyage of Sinbad
Sinbad (John Philip law) fights the centaur while (slave girl) companion Margiana (Caroline Munro) stands in the background. That’s all very interesting especially how the centaur is pictured.

He was so successful at it that Harryhausen went on to build a substantial career in this field over the next two decades.

He found a nitche in the world of Greek mythology. He would revisit the Sinbad mythos twice, here and later with the movie Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger (1977). The Golden Voyage of Sinbad is one of Ray Harryhausen’s most acclaimed works and one that shows him at the height of his art.

The golden youyage of Sinbad.
Ray Harryhausen demonstrates that special effects don’t need to be state of the art to be edge of the seat, this film sees the adventurer and his crew on a quest to defeat evil magician Koura and solve the riddle of a mysterious interlocking golden map. Sinbad must fight his way past several of Harryhausen’s ingenious stop-motion animated monsters along the way, including a one-eyed centaur, and his own ship’s wooden figurehead, magically brought to life.

Most Ray Harryhausen films tend to be set around Harryhausen’s provision of profound creature effects. Which unfortunately tended to make the real actors and their intervening action rather wooden. However, as a child watching these movies, I noticed none of that.

The same is true with the dialog. No matter how chunky or cheesy it appeared, it always appealed to me. The quest for adventure screamed at me, and the livid monsters occupied my young impressionable mind.

The golden voyage of Sinbad 3
Seriously, just how many movies do you find a griffin doing battle with a minaraur or a cyclops – minataur hybrid? Not often. Well, this movie has this and much, much more.
 When I was a child, The Golden Voyage of Sinbad (1973) and Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger  (1977) were one and the same – a four-hour Sinbad miniseries, with all  the islands, wizards, beautiful girls, and Ray Harryhausen monsters  randomly distributed so that I wasn’t exactly sure which belonged to  which. 

Understand that every trip to the video store meant that I would  stand there, staring at all the boxes, ruling out the R-rated films or  anything that looked remotely adult (verboten when I was a child), and  eventually, inevitably, I would grab a Ray Harryhausen movie and hand it  to my mother or father, who would just say, “This one, again?” 

Jason and the Argonauts (1963), Mysterious Island  (1961), or a Sinbad movie. These films were the foundation stones upon  which my imagination was built. 

Even though the early 80’s belonged to  George Lucas and Steven Spielberg, I always held the Harryhausen films  in special regard. Before I even learned his name, I knew these films  were connected – I recognized the stop-motion animation and the look of  the monsters. (Of course that centaur only has one eye. He’s probably  related to those cyclopes in The 7th Voyage of Sinbad.) 

These films had special  special effects. Having watched just about every non-R-rated fantasy  movie on the video store shelves, I knew there was a significant  difference between One Million B.C. (1940), the Victor Mature movie with lizards and armadillos posing as dinosaurs, and One Million Years B.C.  (1966), the remake with Harryhausen’s pterodactyls lifting Raquel Welch  off the ground. 

You can’t dress a lizard up to look like a pterodactyl.  

The funny thing is that I was appreciating the films from a  point-of-view that was already becoming outdated. The days of  stop-motion were coming to an end, with his swan song, Clash of the Titans  (1981), released around the time that I was just beginning to  appreciate his films. 

Though both Lucas and Spielberg used stop-motion  effects in Star Wars (1977) and Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981), by the end of the decade The Abyss (1989) would announce a new direction for cinema tricks. 

-Midnight Only

Both Brian Clemens and Ray Harryhausen plunder world mythology somewhat indiscriminately. Which more often than not resulted in a kind of peculiar multi-cultural polyglot. Not that it matters, of course, but it is curious.

The golden voyage of Sinbad 4
Caroline Munro looks splendid in her costume, low cut almost everywhere. The rest of the cast support well. Tom Baker is excellent as the villain Koura. He makes him sympathetic; what drives him is common to all people. He just uses different means to gain his ends. He dominates the scenes he is in and it is a pity that more big screen roles never came his way. He was the best ‘Doctor Who’ in the BBC series, in my opinion of course. A good fantasy romp to appeal to the adventurer in all of us. Did I mention Caroline Munro’s costume? Oh, I did.

Today, as an adult, I guess that I am more of a purist. But as a kid, nah… who the heck cared? Consider their broad paintbrush. There is Kali from Hindu religion, a griffin and combination centaur/cyclops from the Greek myths, the homunculus from mediaeval alchemy, Lemuria, and of course the backdrop from the Arabian Nights cycle.

As an aside, did you know that the idea of Lemuria was first posited by biologist Ernst Haeckel in the 1870s. It preceded the notion of continental drift. It was used with the belief of a sunken land in order to  explain how lemurs managed to get between  Africa and India. Later, this theory was bastardized and quickly appropriated by the 19th  Century Theosophist movement.
The golden voyage of Sinbad 5
‘Golden Voyage’ is much better than the later ‘Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger’ and equal to the earlier ‘Seventh Voyage of Sinbad’. The Harryhausen creatures are impressive. Stop motion animation does give solidity to the image, more so than the usual CGI effect. There are some fine ones here including a one eyed centaur, a homunculus, a griffin, a six armed statue, a ship’s wooden figurehead. The story is standard but the effects, the locations and the plot weave together well. There is also a dry humor in the dialogue which is entertaining. Scenes like the sword fight with the six armed statute (with six swords!) or the final confrontation at the fountain of wisdom (or something like that) are exciting. The great Miklos Rosza’s music adds considerably to the atmosphere. John Philip Law is OK as Sinbad and does attempt an Arabian accent unlike the usual English one, but the role isn’t Shakespearean and he does well enough.

All of this trivality is far less important than the spectacular beauty of Ray Harryhausen’s various set-pieces. Which, by this time, were at the absolute peak of their form.

Harryhausen offers us [1] a six-armed statue of Kali brought to life in a sword-duel; [2] a to-the-death battle between a griffin and a cyclopean centaur; [3] a magically animated ship’s figurehead; and, best of all, [4] the homunculus that Tom Baker brings to life, teasing and prodding it, as it lies pinned to a table.

Sinbad the sailor using an early version of Google Maps.
Sinbad the sailor using an early version of Google Maps. This is a fine fantasy/adventure film, and definitely one worth watching by any fans of the genre, as well as Ray Harryhausen fans. The main problem is that the film tends to meander at times. There are also a few minor problems with direction or editing, such as the less-than-convincing sword fight in the cave near the end of the film. Also, the mostly episodic nature of the script lessens the overall impact. It often feels like a string of short stories arbitrarily strung together, although in the end, the overarching goal ties the film together well enough. But what “short stories” those are!
Harryhausen, who made this film with his longtime collaborator and  co-producer Charles H. Schneer, was careful to separate this film from 7th Voyage; he seemed to dislike the label of “sequel.” (In his 2003 book An Animated Life, Harryhausen states that he and Schneer even “strenuously” tried to avoid the term regarding Eye of the Tiger, curiously enough.) 

Indeed, the viewer need not have seen the former film, though naturally it exists in its shadow. The 7th Voyage of Sinbad is a classic of fantasy filmmaking to stand beside its chief inspiration, The Thief of Bagdad (1940). 

Golden Voyage  is just another fun Harryhausen movie, the perfect way to pass a  Saturday afternoon. 

Law does a credible job as our new Sinbad (replacing  7th Voyage‘s Kerwin Mathews), embodying Harryhausen’s image of the Arabian Nights hero: handsome, athletic, but not a bodybuilder. 

The  story, conceived by Harryhausen and revised, polished, and scripted by  Brian Clemens (of the TV series The Avengers, as well as Captain Kronos,  which also featured Caroline Munro), sends Sinbad on a treasure hunt on  behalf of a disfigured Vizier in a golden mask (Douglas Wilmer, Jason and the Argonauts).  

Their quest involves retrieving the lost pieces of an amulet, which  will point the way to an ancient, magical source of great knowledge and  power. 

There’s always an evil magician in pursuit, of course, and in  this case it’s Baker’s Prince Koura, who controls gargoyle-like  homunculi and lusts after the same prize. 

The story might be  perfunctory, but it’s well-paced, with attractive location shooting in  Spain to stand in for both the fictionalized Middle East and Lemuria. (Plans to shoot in India – which would have provided a wonderful look to the film – were discarded after hearing horror stories about “appalling  red tape and bureaucracy” encountered by other Hollywood productions shooting there.) 

Composer Miklós Rózsa (The Thief of Bagdad, Ben-Hur) is the ideal stand-in for 7th Voyage‘s Bernard Herrmann, capturing the appropriate “Orientalist” feel. 

 -Midnight Only 

The Golden Voyage of Sinbad is also notable for many of the up-and-coming stars. There is Tom Baker who, the following year, would become the fourth incarnation of tv’s Doctor Who (1963-89). There is cult queen Caroline Munro; and Martin Shaw, later hunk hero of Clemens’ superior action man tv show The Professionals.

The Golden Voyage of Sinbad 7
The script, production/set design and costumes easily propel you into a captivating fantasy world, and Harryhausen’s creatures, as always, are a delight to watch. No, they’re not exactly realistic–no more realistic looking than cgi, in my opinion–but I’m not looking for realism when I watch a film like this. I’m looking for brilliant artistry, especially if it is an adventure with pretty girls, and Harryhausen’s stop-motion animated creatures fit the bill.

Conclusion

This is a great movie to introduce the kids to, to spend a lazy hazy august afternoon, or just to relax to. There are some amazing scenes, and nowhere else in movie-land will you see a six-armed statue of Kali which performs an Indian dance before dueling against Sinbad’s men with six swords. I enjoyed it and I think that maybe you the reader would enjoy it as well.

Ray Harryhausen’s other films

Links

Torrent Links

You can watch it for free if you don’t mind waiting a half an hour to half a day to download the torrent.

For those of you who are unaware. Torrents are parts of files that are spread out in tiny packets all over the internet. You use a "Bit Torrent" client to vacuum up all those little bits and pieces of the file. It then assembles the file into a movie that you can watch. The time that this takes can vary from a few minutes to weeks depending on how popular or obscure your searched file is.

You will need an application to manage the download. I recommend the free application VUZE. To download the video is thus easy. Install VUZE, and then click on one of the following torrent links.

Depending on where you live, you might not have the freedom to access these sites and the ISP might block them from access, or the search engines might black out their search results. Americans, in particular, might have some real problems. Therefore, I listed the most accessible torrent sites available to Americans. Pirate Bay and 1337X. I think that Kick Ass Torrents is still blocked for all Americans.

Movies that Inspired Me

Here are some movies that I consider noteworthy and worth a view. Enjoy.

The Seventh Voyage of Sinbad.
Jason and the Argonauts

Stories that Inspired Me

Here are reprints in full text of stories that inspired me, but that are nearly impossible to find in China. I place them here as sort of a personal library that I can use for inspiration. The reader is welcome to come and enjoy a read or two as well.

Link
Space Cadet (Full Text) by Robert Heinlein
Link
Link
Link
Link
Link
Link
Link
Link
The Last Night
The Flying Machine
A story of escape.
All Summer in a day.
The Smile by Ray Bradbury
The menace from Earth
Delilah and the Space Rigger
Life-Line
The Tax-payer
The Pedestrian
Time for the stars.
Glory Road by Robert Heinlein
Starman Jones (Full Text) by Robert Heinlein.
The Lottery (Full Text) by Shirley Jackson
The Cold Equations (Full Text)
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When Hollywood still made good movies; Jason and The Argonauts (1963)

Here we look at a wonderful, much under-appreciated, movie with special effects by Ray Harryhausen. It’s title is “Jason and The Argonauts” and it is simply beyond awesome. Words cannot describe what an impact that this move had on me as a young boy in the 1960’s.

But I will try…

There is a spectacular sequence in Harryhausen's most popular picture  "Jason and the Argonauts" in which Jason and his crew do battle with  seven sword fighting skeletons. 

This is surely one of the greatest  special effects sequences in motion picture history. There are shots in  which the screen is filled with the men fighting all seven skeletons.  

This means that Harryhausen would have to move each of the seven  skeletons such that they match the chaotic live action footage of the  men mock-fighting, shoot a frame, move them again one by one, shoot a  frame, and so on. 24 frames make one second of action. 

It is hard to  imagine how Harryhausen did all the special effects on his films solo  (save for his first and last films, on which he had help). And it is not  surprising that the skeleton sequence from "Jason" took him four months  to complete. 

 -Great Movies of my Childhood 

This was one of those films I always remember seeing as a child and I will absolutely never forgot those skeletons which I think is Ray Harryhausen’s best work.

Ah. The skeletons

Summary

It’s Greek mythology placed on screen; larger than life.

(Well-known & quite famous) Greek hero Jason takes a group by ship to search for the Golden Fleece. It’s not an easy sail. He uses the latest in nautical technology for the time, including a high-tech ship complete with magical navigational aides. However the crew has to encounter several dangers on the way.

The dangers start to raise their ugly heads when they lay anchor at an island to obtain provisions. You see this island is filled with bronze statues. In case you are unaware, bronze statues at that time was equivalent to swarm drones, and Mach-3 jet fighters.

Since these bronze statues are so valuable, the crew starts to get some funny and crazy ideas. One of the crew decides to go into one of the bronze statue guarded tombs. You know, to “look around”. He sees a beautiful gold sword, and of course… he just has to have it. So he takes it….

Big mistake.

This act wakes up Talos. Talos is the guardian of all the tombs. Thus, Talos comes to life and attacks the crew. Now, Talos is this big terminator bronze statue. It goes on an absolute rampage killing, crushing and destroying everything.

The good news is that eventually Talos is destroyed. Though, not without a cost. For during their escape from Talos, their ship is destroyed.

So, here they are trapped on the island. They start to explore it. They search for food water, and (perhaps) loot. While on the search of the island, they come across a blind man. This poor fella is being attacked by two cheeky Harpies who keep eating his food.

Eventually, they all get captured.

They continue their journey and encounter Neptune (he’s a major player; a God of that time) and arrive at their ultimate destination. Which is the island where the Golden Fleece is.

Before getting the Golden Fleece, Jason must fight and kill a Hydra. A Hydra is a many headed beast that likes to eat humans. Well, (spoiler alert) he does manage to kill it. The best part of the movie is of course those skeletons near the end. Jason manages to defeat them when they fall off a cliff into the sea. Hooray!

This has to be one of, if not the best, of Harryhausen’s movies. And, Bernard Herrmann was responsible for the excellent music.

The Movie

Jason and the Argonauts battles it out with The 7th Voyage of Sinbad as the most popular Ray Harryhausen epic. I know that I have a difficult time deciding which movie is better. (Though, Ray Harryhausen has indicated that Jason and the Argonauts his very own personal favorite. )

They certainly must have had fun filming it.

The crew filmed many of the scenes on beautify sunny Italian locations. These locations gave the movie special significance, and I’m sure the jealously of the rest of Hollywood. For at that time (when the picture was produced) most “sword ‘n’ sandal” movies were shot on Hollywood stages, or barring that, in the California desert a mere few hours drive away.

This movie is chock full of testosterone-filled animation interspersed with actors engaged in theatrical dramatic scenes. The colors, the story line, the visuals, and the novelty all play a significant role in the success of this movie.

In the wake of computer generated graphics, Harryhausen's work may strike some as dated, but this is actually part of its charm, for we will never see its like on screen again; it has a certain visual appeal not found in contemporary films, and Harryhausen's creations always have remarkable personality.  

Topping the cake is an absolutely superb score by Bernard Herrmann. This guy is so good, and the music so powerful, that it’s mentally difficult to separate his music from Harryhausen’s amazing images. (This is my plug for this artist.)

At the time, this movie was the F/X dream, for that time period. Much like how the movie The Matrix revolutionized movies and scripts. This movie set a pace and a high bar for other adventures to follow. And, I am sad to say, it was so high that few movies did actually follow.

Jason on board his ship.
Jason on board his ship. The film as a whole is very much like a superior sword-and-sandal epic of the 1950s and 1960s, very colorful and over-run with manly men and beautiful dancing girls. A bit slow to start, once the story line is established the pace leaps forward–and we are treated to some of Harryhausen’s most enjoyable creations, including Talos, the bronze statue; two of the most evil looking harpies you can imagine; a really nasty hydra; and Harryhausen’s most famous (and his own personal favorite) bit of work: an attack by skeleton warriors.

This movie is an adaptation of the Greek story about Jason and the Golden Fleece.

Most people will find this film an excellent choice as a “family night” film. As for Harryhausen fans–the film is a must-see, must-own, and must-watch as often as possible!

In Greek mythology, the Golden Fleece is the fleece of the golden-woolled, winged ram, which was heldin Colchis. The fleece is a symbol of authority and kingship. It figures in the tale of the hero Jason and his crew of Argonauts, who set out on a quest for the fleece by order of King Pelias, in order to place Jason rightfully on the throne of Iolcus in Thessaly. Through the help of Medea, they acquire the Golden Fleece. The story is of great antiquity and was current in the time of Homer. 

-Wilipedia

Luckily, the movie adaptation doesn’t take too many liberties with the root mythological tale. Though purists would argue that it actually does go off the deep end (This opinion varies considerably depending on which source is consulted.).

In this movie, we have the interplay of the Greek Gods, and their role over the lives of men. The movie places the Gods in a gilded Olympus paradise. The well-paired Zeus and Hera, are husband & wife deities that work out their domestic squabbles by playing chess games. Only the chess games use ambitious mortals like Jason.

All in all, they manage to keep tabs on Jason’s adventures by viewing a kind of celestial television. (!)

Jason and The Argonauts
Jason and The Argonauts. Jason was an ancient Greek mythological hero who was the leader of the Argonauts whose quest for the Golden Fleece featured in Greek literature. He was the son of Aeson, the rightful king of Iolcos. He was married to the sorceress Medea. He was also the great-grandson of the messenger god Hermes, through his mother’s side.

The Olympian interludes add a wry humor to the proceedings. Though, myself, I found life on Olympias rather dull and boring.

Jason shows up as the “man with one sandal” to fulfill a curse placed on the venal King Pelias. I know, I know… It’s difficult to translate. I just figure that it’s a matter of identity politics and leave it at that.

The wild quest to bring back the prize of the Golden Fleece gets a thumbs-up from the collected deities. I figure that this is mainly because Pelias wants Jason out of the way.

Thus, the King sends along his son Acastus to make sure that everything goes as planned.

With a crack crew of athletes and warriors, including the popular Hercules , Jason sets sail in a proud ship built by Argos. After tangling with various fantastic obstacles (after all, that is what heroes do) put in his path by Zeus, Jason reaches the far-off land of Colchis.

Oh Jason. He falls in love with the sorceress Medea. But what do you expect. He falls victim to treachery. It turns out that Medea’s father King Aeëtes has absolutely no intention of allowing the Argonauts steal his nation’s most prized possession.

A great deal could be written about the numerous choices made in  reconstructing the story for a modern movie-going audience, but for our  purposes, we are going to zero in on one of the film’s most memorable  components. No, not Jason. Not Argonauts, either. I’m talking, of  course, about the mountainous man of bronze, Talos.
 
There’s a wealth of reasons why Jason and the Argonauts continues to entertain over half a century later, and Talos is most certainly one of the biggest. 

Literally. Brought to life through the inimitable stop motion effects of the late, great Ray Harryhausen,the towering Talos appears early in the film to give the Argonauts a considerable thrashing after Heracles unwittingly disturbs his slumber.  

It’s generally unwise to steal broach pins from the gods for use as a  javelin, but Heracles evidently didn’t get that particular memo.

-GRST 202 Blog

Of all of Ray Harryhausen’s movies, Jason and the Argonauts is closest to his heart. In life, he found mythological fantasies more exciting than science fiction monsters. As such, he wanted very much to tell the story of the Golden Fleece in classic terms.

Talos
It shouldn’t take much brain power to reason why Columbia Pictures produced Jason and the Argonauts as a fantasy epic in the early 1960s. As one of the oldest known hero tales, Jason’s quest is chock full of what we would nowadays consider archetypal elements of the genre: the stoic protagonist, the repulsive villain, a dangerous romance, a clearly defined objective, impossible odds, and of course, a series of treacherous obstacles that provide the spectacle. In short, it’s an easy sell.

The film is of course now a legend unto itself and contains some of Harryhausen’s most difficult animation and classiest designs.

  • The bronze giant Talos creates an intimidating sense of scale as it stalks Jason’s men on a beach.
  • The harpies scream and claw as they’re captured, apparently animated while under a net.
  • The seven-headed Hydra is Harryhausen’s most successful mythological creation, a beast so well designed that it seems biologically credible.
  • The skeletal “Children of the Hydra’s Teeth” do much more than top the single skeleton warrior in 7th Voyage. Soldiers battling armies of the dead recur in classical paintings, giving the combat a macabre edge. The sight of Jason and his swordsmen fighting them en masse is also a brilliant substitute for the lame battle scenes of other sword ‘n’ sandal epics.

Indeed, those skeletal beings were a triumph of Harryhausen’s F/X technique. Truthfully, the sequence must have required more animation work than the rest of the movie put together. You can easily see this, as the seven skeletons fight in so many individual camera setups.

Unlike most Harryhausen set pieces, the skeleton battle constantly cuts to new angles. With so much happening simultaneously in each shot, it’s hard to keep up — which prompts the use of words like, “breathtaking”.

 Talos, of course, has a history deeply rooted in classical Greek  myth. Often considered the earliest conceptualization of a robot, Talos  is usually found associated with the gods Hephaestus and Zeus. Sometimes  he’s a leftover of the Zeus-created bronze generation, other times he’s  the offspring or father of Hephaestus, sometimes he’s a gift from Zeus  to King Minos, other times a gift from Hephaestus to Zeus – the  permutations are endless. 

Regardless of the myth, however, one connection remains consistent: the Cretan word from which Talos derives his name – talios, meaning “sun” – was frequently used by those islanders as a name for the king of the gods himself.  Not only does this shared use of the term allude to the giant’s  immense power, but it also hints at his role as a somewhat paternal  figure. Indeed, Talos was known as the tireless guardian of Crete, a  sentinel who would circumambulate the island three times daily to  moderate the behavior and livelihood of its citizens.  

Moreover, he would vigorously defend his land from any intruders, and  in keeping with his solar-derived name, his preferred method of  executing perceived threats was, by all accounts, incineration.  Depending on who you ask, the giant would either snatch up poor souls  and leap with them into a flaming vat, or he would heat up his own  metallic body to incredible degrees and scorch his opponents through  mere physical interaction. 

His  love of turning folks to ash was unfortunately excised from his  on-screen debut, but that does not make his appearance in the film any  less memorable.

 Though traditionally depicted as Crete’s conservator, Jason and the Argonauts finds  Talos holding watch over the aptly named (and movie-created) “Isle of  Bronze,” placed there by Hephaestus to guard Zeus’s armory.  

-GRST 202 Blog 

Kids back in 1963 reacted strongly to almost everything in the picture.

Tipped off by Famous Monsters magazine, many of us waited anxiously for the next jolting effects scene to begin. We were also thrilled by Nigel Green’s hale & hearty Hercules and cheered the announcement of his name. We fully accepted the idea that a strong man shouldn’t have to be so buff that he couldn’t walk through a normal door.

Famous Monsters Magazine
Tipped off by Famous Monsters magazine, many of us waited anxiously for the next jolting effects scene to begin. We were also thrilled by Nigel Green’s hale & hearty Hercules and cheered the announcement of his name. We fully accepted the idea that a strong man shouldn’t have to be so buff that he couldn’t walk through a normal door.

As in The Magnificent Seven, the assembling of Jason’s all-star collection of sailors / assault troops primed us for what we hoped would be the greatest sword & spear battle of all time. And… and we were not disappointed.

Jason fights a giant bronze statue.
One of the most legendary adventures in all mythology is brought to life in Jason and the Argonauts, an epic saga of good and evil. As a mere boy Jason, the heir to the kingdom of Ancient Greece, witnesses the murder of his father at the hands of his ruthless uncle, Pelias.

The film’s smoothly professional acting impressed me.

With all of those classy English accents flying about, Jason and the Argonauts had a credibility that the various Sons of Hercules lacked. Even the middle-aged Laurence Naismith looked righteously rugged, dressed only in a loincloth and clinging to the prow of the Argo: “Pull ’til your hearts burst and your backs break!”

 You see, Talos might be made of bronze, but he draws his life force from a single vein flowing down his back to his heel, where it is stopped by some sort of large plug. Whether described as a nail or a pin, that plug naturally  gets pulled at some point by one of the heroes, thus draining Talos of life. In many cases that hero is Medea, who uses trickery to deceive the  living statue, while in others it is the Argonaut Poeas who knocks out the stopper with his trusty bow and arrow.  

Seeing as how the adventurers have yet to encounter Medea at this point  in the film and that Poeas is absent entirely, the eponymous hero himself takes up the deed, acting under the guidance of Hera. Even  disregarding the aforementioned characters’ absences, it makes sense to  thrust this duty upon Jason in this context. As his first act of true  heroism, the defeat of the Talos establishes Jason as a courageous leader and a man fit for this epic quest – someone capable of navigating the many challenges that lie ahead. 

-GRST 202 Blog  

In his old “Film Fantasy Scrapbook” Harryhausen mentioned that he was impressed by the fact that the hero Jason’s big quest is really a raid for loot. He believed that the Argonauts are little more than thieves.

Those foreigners beyond the clashing rocks have exactly what Greece needs, a magic charm that brings peace, plenty and prosperity.

Jason as a nice-guy hero doesn’t get in the way of the colorful supporting actors and the giant monsters. However, it’s quite odd to see Medea as virtuous. After all, she sells out her father, her country and her religion for a fling with the new boy in town.

Obviously, there’s a reason why the movie doesn’t dig into the psychology behind the myths. And it shouldn’t. For Jason and the Argonauts is a splendid fantasy of spectacular adventure no more and no less.

Jason fights a many headed monster.
Jason has been prophesied to take the throne of Thessaly. When he saves Pelias from drowning, but does not recognize him as the man who had earlier killed his father, Pelias tells Jason to travel to Colchis to find the Golden Fleece. Jason follows his advice and assembles a sailing crew of the finest men in Greece, including Hercules. They are under the protection of Hera, queen of the gods. Their voyage is replete with battles against harpies, a giant bronze Talos, a hydra, and an animated skeleton army, all brought to life by the special effects wizardry of Ray Harryhausen.

It’s been a long time since I last watched this movie. It was on a blistery “school day” when all the roads were iced over, and I was around ten years old at the time. Never the less, the torrent that I watched was spectacular, clear and colorful.

Jason and the Argonauts attend a party.
The legendary Greek hero leads a team of intrepid adventurers in a perilous quest for the legendary Golden Fleece. Jason has been prophesied to take the throne of Thessaly. When he saves Pelias from drowning, but does not recognize him as the man who had earlier killed his father, Pelias tells Jason to travel to Colchis to find the Golden Fleece. Jason follows his advice and assembles a sailing crew of the finest men in Greece, including Hercules. They are under the protection of Hera, queen of the gods. Their voyage is replete with battles against harpies, a giant bronze Talos, a hydra, and an animated skeleton army.

I have read reports that there were alterations to the original film.

For years, 16mm copies of Jason  placed Medea's temple dance way out of sequence, before the Argonauts  reach Colchis. The Blu-ray of course fixes this while improving on all  earlier home video releases. Grover Crisp of Sony wisely chose a  slightly taller 1:66 aspect ratio, which adds image to the top and  bottom of the frame while placing narrow pillars at the sides of the HD  image. Harryhausen purists will be pleased to see less cropping of the  effects. The added color detail of Blu-ray brings out hidden character  in the main title artwork, and gives the green highlights on Talos'  bronze skin more definition. Likewise, the Golden Fleece is returned to  its impressive sparkly-but-organic look -- the golden glow effect has  been toned down quite a bit. 
A beautiful woman rides with Jason in the movie Jason and the Argonauts.
What kind of adventure would Jason and the Argonauts be if there wasn’t a beautiful woman to lead and inspire? That’s what tradition, history and legends all say. And what about this lass. Such a lovely and attractive woman.

I do like the movie, and it’s an absolute fact that the movie uses clever camera tricks and some well made miniatures. Yes, of course the effects all look out dated now but they still surprisingly, look convincing enough and at times they are even still simply breathtaking and spectacular to look at.

Especially of course the legendary, fantastic end fight against the skeleton warriors. The story is like good entertainment should be; Adventurous, exciting and simple to follow. The movie truly is non stop fun entertainment to watch with lots of spectacular moments with the legendary skeleton fight as the ultimate highlight.

You don’t have to be a fan of ‘classic’ movies in order to enjoy this movie, everyone should be able to appreciate this movie and be entertained by it, especially when you are a fan of ancient Greek tales.

Something that is not praised enough of this movie is the musical score by Bernard Herrmann. The movie is not exactly filled with impressive and memorable actors. As many movies as I have seen in my life, I don’t think I have ever seen any actors from this movie in any other movie, with the exception of course of Honor Blackman who will always be remembered for playing the Bond girl Pussy Galore in “Goldfinger”.

But this movie clearly isn’t a character-adventure movie, it’s a special effect adventure movie. The special effects are really the most important element of the movie. So for the fans of special effects this is especially most definitely a must see. A movie that should be fun and enjoyable to everyone, of all ages.

The Gods do like to play.
The Gods do like to play. Here is a scene where two Gods conspire to have some fun, and create some hurtles for Jason and the Argonauts to overcome. Ah, such is Greek myth.

Heracles is presented, not as a young ripped body builder, but as one would expect a middle-aged strong man to be: Formidable, a little grey and a little swaggering. It’s a perfect imagery.

Argos, the ship builder, is tan and fat, as one would expect the veteran of many sea voyages to be.

The crew looks like what one would expect a crew of ancient Greeks to look like. The acting is not spectacular, but sincere. No one looks embarrassed to be in this movie. It is tight with great special effects…

It’s wonderful for children…

Outstanding battle scenes.
As entertainment this movie is perfect. The movie is a fun adventurous one, with lots of spectacular moments and fights. From a technical point of view this movie is even a masterpiece. The stop-motion scene’s created by special effects pioneer Ray Harryhausen is simply brilliant and makes this movie one of the most influential and important one’s, when it comes to special effects.

The seven-headed Hydra is another technical marvel.

Talos. There are some other nifty creatures for Jason and his crew to battle, but for me, the most impressive of them all turns up first: the gigantic Talos, the Man of Bronze.

I was a kid when this came out, and I don’t think I’ll ever forget that moment when the huge, crouched statue came to life, turned his head towards the two men below him (his bronze head screeching with the tear of metal), climbed off of his pedestal, and proceeded to chase Jason and his men.

Fantastic movie with great visuals.
What do I like about this movie…besides Harryhausin’s special effects? Besides the frenetic battle with the skeletons and the seemingly hopeless fight against the statue of Talos? I like the way the people are presented, I suppose…

Talos was giant like Godzilla, but as single-minded as the Terminator: all he wants to do is track Jason’s crew down until he kills them all. This gave me nightmares.

Tom Hanks, who was also a kid when this came out, has said: "Everybody thinks that 'Citizen Kane' was the greatest movie ever made. But if you were young in 1963, you know the real answer is: 'Jason and the Argonauts.'" 
Jason and the Argonauts - the bossman.
This is his finest movie. Possibly. His first “Sinbad” film in 1958 had one moving skeleton for the hero to fight; this one has a whole platoon of them, each part painstakingly moved one tiny distance at a time personally by Harryhausen through stop-motion techniques.

In today’s world it may seem below standard compared to computer effects, but for those of us growing up in that time period, the Harryhausen style of special effects will continue to bring back warm memories of those years. With computer graphics, you see it and like it the first time you see it, but then many movies of today have the same and it becomes moot.

Jason and the Argonauts was one of those few movies at the time along with the Sinbad saga that lives on in your heart. The pace of the film is perfectly put together along with the many creatures, 7-headed hydra, huge fish-man, huge metal man and skeletons fighting is what makes it a classic which lives on in the hearts of those growing up in the sixties.

Dealing with flying Harpies.
Back in 1963 I was only 5 at the time, but I can still remember seeing and watching the movie and being totally awed with the effects created by Ray Harryhausen. Flying and attacking harpies! My goodness!

I enjoyed this as a kid, but now I look at it with different eyes.

Consider the subsequent misery of Jason and Medea, a gory tragedy of domestic abuse and revenge. It’s sad. No wonder there was no sequel to Jason, as the official follow-up is a timeless lesson. Perhaps it’s a lesson on what happens to women who love ambitious and unscrupulous glory-hunters.

Never the less, even with this glimpse of foreboding, I still enjoy the movie.

Greek myths are coded chronicles of human weakness, vice and crimes. I think that smart schoolteachers, politically restrained from addressing real-life issues, can use the Greek original tales to make kids think about the harsh facts of life.

A quiet moment.
Jason and The Argonauts is a great film to watch and escape reality. This is one of those movies that you know is not real but you just enjoy it and have fun watching it anyways. I think this film is underrated because it was not given one Oscar nomination. For certain, I think this film should have been nominated for Best Art Direction and Set Decoration, at the bare minimum. Not to mention, Cinematography, Bernard Herrmann’s Original Score and Film Editing.

As I have already mentioned, the scene that I remember the most (and pershpas what everyone else remembers as well) is the Skeleton Fight at the end which took Ray Harryhausen and special effects crew three months to create that entire sequence.

Talos had me frozen with fear and the Hydra and the skeletons were sights my eyes could not believe. I think that for first-time viewers, you might be somewhat primed for something similar to other movies of this kind of adventure, but Jason and the Argonauts will definitely be anything but what you are expecting.

This is a Great movie and I encourage all of “The Lord of The Rings” fans to watch this and see a great masterpiece of classic fantasy and old fashioned special effects.

A many headed beast.
The fascinating odyssey of Jason in search of the Golden Fleece. This is an adventure movie in the old style, with no pretensions, no pomposity… The genius and pioneer of the special effects Ray Harryhaussen gave us a handful of superhuman creatures who make things quite difficult for the brave Jason. Some may think this special effects or the movie itself are obsolete. OK, now read this: the movie was made 43 years ago, Harryhaussen made them without computers or digital effects… so, show some respect!! In short: the movie is just fantastic.

Most, if not all, children love the film.

And for all one’s intellectual talk about the vulgarising of mythology and the crudity of the screenplay, there is no denying that this movie is spectacular on many levels.

It is blatantly obvious to all viewers that Harryhausen contrived to bring a lot of sparkle, excitement and fun into the world of fantastic cinema. At this he absolutely succeeded.

Gods help the boat pass through.
To regain his rightful place as the King of Thessaly, Jason must traverse deadly seas to the land of Colchis where a Golden Fleece of magical powers is housed. Assembling a crew of the toughest men around, and aided by the Goddess Hera, Jason and his Argonauts set sail unbeknown that perils await at every port.

For sure it’s got a “B” movie heart, and no film in this genre is without a high cheese quota, but it’s technically one of the genres best and for daring do shenanigans it has no peers.

The gorgeous Mediterranean photography courtesy of Wilkie Cooper (Dynamation 90) goes hand in hand with the boisterously mythical score from Bernard Hermann, while Chaffrey's direction of the human aspects is solid and safe in preparation for Harryhausen's magic to move in and take over. The cast may not cover themselves in glory, and yes at times some of them are a touch wooden, with only Honor Blackman (Hera) and Nigel Green (Hercules) seemingly able to grasp the sense of fun that is meant to be had. 

Here, in this movie, we have a big quest adventure containing harpies, a hydra, a giant bronze statue intent on destroying all, clashing rocks, angry gods and a brilliant Harryhausen skeleton army – well it’s all good, really isn’t it!

Here’s an interesting review, but I forgot from whence I dug it up from…

'Jason and the Argonauts' is a truly family fantasy-adventure film,  directed with wit and excitement... Beverley Cross's fine script is both  imaginative and literate, and Bernard Herrmann's score is stirring... 

The  word "Argonaut" comes from a tale sung of the strongest and bravest  band of heroes ever assembled in Greek Mythology... This myth chronicles  Jason's quest for the 'gift of the gods,' and the restoration of his  family's throne... 

There is an interesting theme that runs  through the entire motion picture: man must manage alone without the  help of the gods whether they exist or not... 

In times past,  fate ruled men's lives completely... The gods often amused themselves  with the puny mortal men below... Fate is still an important factor in  Jason's time (He has been prophesied to overthrow King Pelias...), but  man chooses his own life's course... Jason lost his believe in the gods,  and Zeus questions what has taken the place of man's faith in the  gods... Jason replies: "The hearts of men. "

Jason rejects Zeus'  offer to supply him with 'a ship and a crew,' and assembles dozen of  Greece's greatest heroes, including the legendary Hercules...  Nevertheless he accepts Hera's pledge to help him with the information  and advice... 

Jason has learned that prayers to the gods are not  always answered... "The gods are best served by those who want their  help least," Zeus alibis... When humans obtain the help of the gods,  they know they must push forward... For instance, when Triton holds the  quaking mountains, the Argonauts still must navigate their ship away  from the dangerous rocks that continue to fall...

Jason dared to  speak of the end of the gods, and challenges Zeus when he eliminates  Talos, who guards Zeus' treasures... And when the Argonauts imprison the  evil harpies whom Zeus sent to torment a desperate sinner, Zeus admits:  "If I were to punish every blasphemy, I would soon loose all loyalty  and respect." 

Of the gods, Jason says, "In time all men will  have to do without them." Such words alarm Zeus, and he recognizes as  much to Hera, whom he considers "almost human" for staying with him  despite such weakness... But the gods still have enough power to do  their will... At the picture's end Zeus tells Hera that he will allow  Jason and his pretty Medea to enjoy 'each other,' but he adds, "I have  not yet finished with Jason... Let us continue with the game another  day."

Todd Armstrong is the young and hot blooded Jason who  schemes to seize the Golden Fleece from King Aeetes, and saves Pelias  from drowning one day, losing his sandal in the river... 

Nancy Kovack is Medea, the provocative high priestess of Colchis who is charmed with love for Jason and aid him in his quest...

Gary Raymond is Acastus, the son of Pelias sent to disrupt the voyage by causing dissension in the crew...

Niall MacGinnis is Zeus who decides to challenge Jason and the Argonauts with many trials...

Honor Blackman is the cunning Hera, the queen of the gods, who outmaneuvered  Zeus, and intervened on several occasions to facilitate Jason's tasks...  Hera wishes to destroy Pelias because he was treacherous and her temple  was profane... 

Michael Gwynn is Hermes who transports Jason to Olympus to speak with the gods... 

Jack Gwillim is King Aeetes who collects the hydra's teeth from its seven heads, and confronts Jason high on a cliff...

John Cairney is the clever Hylas who uses his intelligence to beat Hercules in a test of skill... 

Douglas Wilmer is the nefarious Pelias, who plots a devious plan to send Jason on an impossible quest, in a faraway land, to fetch the magical Golden  Fleece... 

Nigel Green is Hercules, the bravest and strongest  warrior who vows to search the Isle of Bronze until he finds his friend  Hylos...

Patrick Troughton is the old and weak Phineas cursed  with an insatiable appetite and the flying harpies left enough putrid  morsels for him to survive his torment...

'Jason and the  Argonauts' is a tale of love and betrayal, friendship and fortune... It  is nearly 40 years old but it still holds up as one of the semi-classic  mythological fantasy which provides a framework for some splendid  stop-frame animation... 

Jason and the Argonauts is a fun movie. 

The open ended nature of the story does hurt the film, but just come for the classic effects.  Fans of mythology will enjoy the adventure, and it could introduce kids to classic stories.  Jason and the Argonauts is definitely worth revisiting or seeking out if you’ve never seen it.

It’s also perfect fare for those lazy dog-day afternoons, or snowed-in weekends. It entertains on numerous levels. It is visually appealing, and wondrous overall.

Links

Here’s some links that you all might find of interest.

Torrent Links

You can watch it for free if you don’t mind waiting a half an hour to half a day to download the torrent.

For those of you who are unaware. Torrents are parts of files that are spread out in tiny packets all over the internet. You use a "Bit Torrent" client to vacuum up all those little bits and pieces of the file. It then assembles the file into a movie that you can watch. The time that this takes can vary from a few minutes to weeks depending on how popular or obscure your searched file is.

You will need an application to manage the download. I recommend the free application VUZE. To download the video is thus easy. Install VUZE, and then click on one of the following torrent links.

Depending on where you live, you might not have the freedom to access these sites and the ISP might block them from access, or the search engines might black out their search results. Americans, in particular, might have some real problems. Therefore, I listed the most accessible torrent sites available to Americans. Pirate Bay and 1337X. I think that Kick Ass Torrents is still blocked for all Americans.

Movies that Inspired Me

Here are some movies that I consider noteworthy and worth a view. Enjoy.

The Seventh Voyage of Sinbad.

Stories that Inspired Me

Here are reprints in full text of stories that inspired me, but that are nearly impossible to find in China. I place them here as sort of a personal library that I can use for inspiration. The reader is welcome to come and enjoy a read or two as well.

Link
Space Cadet (Full Text) by Robert Heinlein
Link
Link
Link
Link
Link
Link
Link
Link
The Last Night
The Flying Machine
A story of escape.
All Summer in a day.
The Smile by Ray Bradbury
The menace from Earth
Delilah and the Space Rigger
Life-Line
The Tax-payer
The Pedestrian
Time for the stars.
Glory Road by Robert Heinlein
Starman Jones (Full Text) by Robert Heinlein.
The Lottery (Full Text) by Shirley Jackson
The Cold Equations (Full Text)
Farnham's Freehold (Full Text) by Robert Heinlein
Invisible Boy (Full Text) by Ray Bradbury
Job: A Comedy of Justice (Full Text) by Robert Heinlein
Spell my name with an "S" by Isaac Asimov
The Proud Robot (Full Text)
The Time Locker
Not the First (Full Text) by A.E. van Vogt

My Poetry

My Kitten Knows

Articles & Links

You’ll not find any big banners or popups here talking about cookies and privacy notices. There are no ads on this site (aside from the hosting ads – a necessary evil). Functionally and fundamentally, I just don’t make money off of this blog. It is NOT monetized. Finally, I don’t track you because I just don’t care to.

  • You can start reading the articles by going HERE.
  • You can visit the Index Page HERE to explore by article subject.
  • You can also ask the author some questions. You can go HERE to find out how to go about this.
  • You can find out more about the author HERE.
  • If you have concerns or complaints, you can go HERE.
  • If you want to make a donation, you can go HERE.

When Hollywood still made good movies; The 7th Voyage of Sinbad (1957)

Ray Harryhausen was a mainstay of my childhood. His movies were regular features on the Saturday matinees — on television, not in theaters; I’m not THAT old! — and they sucked me in every time. How could they not? No sane young boy would be anything but engrossed by giant creatures slugging it out with heroes in sandals, and Harryhausen’s creatures were AWESOME.

-Revisiting Ray Harryhausen’s 1958 classic, The 7th Voyage of Sinbad

It’s no secret that Hollywood has gone over the deep end and into the abyss of the bland and uninteresting.

It’s a combination of things. Firstly [1] , an over reliance on CGI and computer animation has somehow replaced decent story-telling and the passions inherent in the traditional movie genre. Secondly [2], the invasion of Political Correctness and rewrites for the LGBT crowd, and the war on white males, and traditional male roles has pretty much isolated Hollywood to the Land of the Loons. Thirdly [3], an over reliance on classical superheroes… you know, suddenly by magic, a person gets super-powers… get’s dull really quick. Finally, fourthly [4], just how many sequels do you need to make before the customers stop coming to the theaters?

Here’s some examples of contemporaneous Hollywood fare…

Yup Hollywood is going the way of the Dodo Bird, and like their political leadership, haven’t a clue as to how absolutely ridiculous they look to us “normal’s” in the audience.

But, at one time, Hollywood was truly the stuff of dreams. There, the studios produced some amazing movie flicks. These were the stuff of dreams, and tales of adventure. And, for I, a young boy… Hollywood movies took me to places where my imagination could soar and explore.

Let’s talk about one such movie. The Ray Harryhausen classic “The 7th Voyage of Sinbad”.

The Tale of a Lifetime

The visuals in the movie were amazing. Anyone who has seen this movie when it first came out (late 50’s) was forever a different person for the better. This dynamic even continues to this day too.

Millions saw this when they were in their teens or younger and it brought out an array of emotions the body had not experienced before. There is wonder, adventure, thrills, suspense, love, good, bad, and monsters that make you wonder how can you fight them and live? Sinbad shows you all this and more and he became a role model and hero for the multitudes.

No doubt, it is an amazing movie.

Come on! Seriously. Giant birds, crabby cyclops, dragons, skeleton warriors, and a snake woman? Just another day at the office for Sinbad the Sailor.

Throw in an evil sorcerer, a mutinous crew, and having to not only rescue his fiancee, but also find some way to un-shrink her. Talk about having too much on “your plate”. You can well understand why this particular Sinbad set about his seventh voyage with a stern and brave face, very little humor and negligible cheer.

This movie is genius.

Other films of his have very challenging special effects too. If you  have not watched any of his films, YouTube them and watch the brilliant  sequences. That'll convince you. Try the sequence where the cowboys try  to "rope" Gwangi, in which Harryhausen had to painstakingly match the  ropes on the live action footage to the ropes on his stop-motion model.  Or the tug of war in "Mighty Joe Young,"  using a similar technique. Or the sequence with the giant bird from  "Mysterious Island," which works well with Bernard Herrmann's goofy  score. Or the Washington destruction scenes in "Earth vs. Flying  Saucers." Or It from "It Came From Beneath the Seas." Or Pegasus in  "Clash of the Titans," or Medusa, from the same film. Or anything from  "The Seventh Voyage of Sinbad," my personal favorite film of his. 

 - Great Movies of my Childhood  

This was a movie that I couldn’t tear my eyes from. I was totally and complete immersed in the story line, though as a young boy, it was kind of difficult to follow. Never the less, the visuals were amazing and absolutely drew me in.

Now the story is a classic. It’s an adventure, so of course, you pull the story out from classic adventure stories that have stood the passage of time.

Apparently this is a pretty old classic story from the 1001 Arabian Nights, of course no longer taught in schools as not progressive enough. It is the story of adventure when a ships crew makes an unexpected stop at an island.

Fortune fall upon us all

The best thing about this movie is that there Hasn’t been any remakes of it.

It’s true. Can you imagine what the remakes would be like? OMG! I just get sick trying to imagine it all…

  • 1970s – The first sequel; Sinbad falls in love with a black single-parent woman.
  • 1980s – “We Are the World” meets Sinbad the Sailor.
  • 1990s – CGI animation, heavily pixelated and dark.
  • 2000s – Matrix style fight scenes with the three headed chick.
  • 2010s – X-men join forces with Sinbad to fight the Cyclops.
  • 2020s – Sinbad is a woman, as are the entire crew, all females.

Storyline

Sinbad is a man of the world. A seaman who travels the known world. As this is his seventh voyage, we knew that he was well experienced in the ways of monsters, magic and pretty attractive lasses. He has a crew of trusty seamen, and ship that is pretty state-of-the-art for the time-period.

So off he goes. His ship and crew sail off towards adventure…

Dinner for the one-eyed horned cyclops.
Dinner for the one-eyed horned cyclops. You most certainly wouldn’t want to be caught by this fella, and my goodness, who knows what fate you might be expected to endure. You know, when salt and pepper get into your eyes, it hurts!

He sails and sails.

When Sinbad finally spots land, he doesn’t yet know what island it is. (He didn’t have GPS, and Google was of absolutely no use to him.) He just doesn’t know that the island’s name is Colossa. Hum. Colossa could that have something to do with the word “colossal”? You’d think he’d take a hint.

Nor does he know that it’s the ancient world’s equivalent of Monster Island. Now, for some reason or the other, Sinbad has his old lady on board with him. She’s a real cutie, and can you blame him. After all, he’s the famous Sinbad.

Her name is Princess Parisa. She has cute dimples, a nice rack and a very curvaceous backside. You see, she and Sinbad are going to be married and help seal a peace pact between their two lands. It kind of sucks for her, but she gets a hero in the bargain, and all in all, by the standards of society at that time and place, it’s a pretty sweet deal for her.

Grant (who would go on to marry Bing Crosby) is an absolute delight as the princess, the kid playing the genie in the lamp should have been annoying but was actually quite a charming little tyke, and Torin Thatcher is wonderfully bombastic as the evil wizard Sokurah. They help carry the human element of the movie in a way Mathews’ Sinbad never does. 

 -Revisiting Ray Harryhausen’s 1958 classic, The 7th Voyage of Sinbad 

Once he makes landfall on the island, he demonstrates just how preoccupied he must be with the impending wedding. You can tell, because he makes some really boneheaded decisions. You know, decisions that would charitably be called “insane.”

A cyclops looking at his dinner.
This colorful adventure is the screen version of one of the classic tales from “1001 Arabian Nights.” It tells the story of Sinbad (Kerwin Mathews) and Princess Parisa (Kathryn Grant). When they unexpectedly stop on the island of Colossa on their way to Baghdad, they find themselves battling all types of dangers, such as evil magicians, man-eating Cyclopes, fire- breathing dragons, and sword-wielding skeletons.

So, let’s say you’re on a mysterious island in a world where terrible monsters still run amok occasionally.

Let’s also say that you notice strange footprints in the sand. These strange footprints are not only odd because of their shape (cloven hooves – eek!), but also because they are so far apart. As someone notes, this is indicative of a rather large stride and by extension, a rather large creature.

Now what could that possibly mean? I mean, what would you do, if you saw hoof prints that large?

Multi-headed multi-bird thing creature.
Multi-headed multi-bird thing creature. What would you do if you confronted a strange chick the size of a fire-truck? And, by chick I mean a bird, not a cute young lass.

Okay, let’s say you know all that and still you venture forth into the unknown.

Now, you have landed on this mysterious island. You and your crew starts to walk upon the sandy beach. And now when you walk further up the beach you notice carved in the side of a mountain, a strange face with the mouth being the entrance of a cave.

Not an everyday occurrence.

What do you do? Well, in spite of it being painfully obvious that this is the front door of a cyclops house, you decide to do some pretty messed up things. I mean, haven’t you ever learned that some things say “keep out” and run for the hills. But NOOOOO!

What does Sinbad do? Well, he decides to run right the hell in there just to see if anyone is home!

The pure awesomeness of this movie is evident when you observe a one-eyed horned cyclops with goat like legs confronting a chained dragon.
The pure awesomeness of this movie is evident when you observe a one-eyed horned cyclops with goat like legs confronting a chained dragon. Now you would think that the dragon would trump a one-eyed cyclops… you know that old depth-perception angle. But the movie has a number of surprises for the viewing audience.

What do you think happens? Yup. It’s a lot of screaming, yelling, terror and blood and guts. Not to mention a chomp and gulp. Yes, it’s a story of lots of guys getting chased by a really pissed off cyclops.

Enter a sorcerer named Sokurah.

He’s a bald guy with a magic lamp that saves Sinbad and his crew by using the genie’s powers to erect a transparent barrier to keep the cyclops back. I’ll bet that you didn’t know that Genie’s had the power to erect repulse fields, did you?

Now, I have some bad news.

Unfortunately this doesn’t stop the cyclops from chucking big rocks at the departing boat. This causes everyone on the boat to fall overboard and in all the confusion Sokurah loses his magic lamp.

Now, this magic lamp is really special. Think of it like the latest iphone, or the keys to the Lamborghini. It contains a Genie. But this Genie is not just like any other Genie. Those “lower” Genies have wish-limitations. Most can only grant three wishes. Not this Genie. No. He instead grants unlimited wishes.

Obviously the loss of such a power, such a lamp, is a big disappointment.

Sinbad meets a princess.
In the scenes featuring a shrunken Princess Parisa. Now look at this mess. How are going to have sex once they are married? And what about the children? Obviously Sinbad has to do something, and thus Sinbad does his best to help her. In the process goes on an adventure of a lifetime. It is one filled with strange sights, strange and dangerous beings, and magic of all sorts and types.

Again, there is a lot of treading water, splashes and panic.

Once back on board his main boat, Sokurah demands that they return back to the island. You know, after all, it’s pretty cool having a Genie with unlimited wishes. Heck, if it was me, I’d go back.

No. Sinbad is a different person.

Sinbad refuses Sokurah’s entreaties to go back to the island and retrieve his lamp which by this time has fallen into the hands of the cyclops. Sinbad says “No time, baldy. I’m gonna get married to my most excellent girlfriend. And, you know what? I still have to hire a band and D.J. for my wedding, but you’re welcome to come to my bachelor party once we’re back in Bagdad.”

Meetup with a Genie.
Here we have a tiny miniaturized princess inside a Genie’s bottle to talk with the Genie face to face. What a movie! You know, Harryhausen spearheaded a turn from scifi monsters to mythology and adventure for the first time with The 7th Voyage of Sinbad. In this movie he ended up crossbreeding special-effects-based spectacle with traditional swashbuckling heroics. For the first time, in this movie, Harryhausen got to make a feature in color, and he debuted his new technique, called Dynamation, which allowed more sophisticated, layered interaction between photographic elements.

Sokurah offers to provide some entertainment at some of the pre-wedding festivities in hopes of currying favor with the Caliph.

The Caliph of Baghdad (Alec Mango) feels the same way, even after Sokurah amazes the court by conjuring up a snake-woman. Yes, this SOB ended up turning Parisa’s maid into a snake woman. Talk about violation of a work contract!

Meanwhile, he continues to try to convince Sinbad to go back to the island.

Snake woman maid.
Now how would you like your pretty maid to be changed into a a snake woman medusa. Especially a blue one? Not exactly a nice way to curry favor. Obviously this warlock has a real lack of people skills.

He starts to look into the future. He starts by looking into the future of Sinbad and Parisa’s lands. Not surprisingly perhaps, he sees only bad things for everyone. This (unfortunately) doesn’t earn him a ship and a crew of men, but does earn him an ass kicking out of Bagdad.

It is only when the princess is shrunk by an evil spell, the breaking of which requires the shell from the egg of the giant Roc – which (what-da-ya-know) resides on Colossa – that Sokurah can get his expedition mounted, with Sinbad in command.

But it’s not that everything is perfect. With a crew made up of a handful of his bravest men and some of the most desperate convicts in the Caliph’s prison, he has to contend with potential mutiny at every turn. It’s a constant bickering, fighting and arguments. Ugh! In fact, the men are driven almost to madness before they even reach Colossa.

The Genie with Sinbad's future wife.
The Genie gets along with the future Mrs. Sinbad. She crawls into the Genie’s lair and it’s all sort of like the lair from the television show “I dream of Genie”. Together they work out and hatch a plan.

Once there, at the island, they continue to find problems and strife. Obviously, they find terrors as great as the Cyclops and the treachery of the magician, but something else happens. Future Mrs. Sinbad; Parisa – in her tiny state – also discovers the beautiful world inside the lamp, and the lonely boy Genie (Richard Eyer) who inhabits it.

They strike the bargain that, when Sinbad’s bravery is added to the equation, will bring their quest to an end. If, that is, they can all survive the dangers that Sokurah puts in their path.

Sinbad at the helm.
Sinbad at the helm of his state of the art, ocean going vessel. He is the fellow in command, and he over comes everything to achieve his goals and his dreams.

At this point for the record, I would note that when he was told this, no one specifically said that he wasn’t supposed to stop by the princess’s bedroom and use a magic potion to shrink her down to the size of a corndog. It’s a strange world we live in, and when you start mixing magical spells, potions and evil sorcerers together, you will find many surprises awaiting you in the bedroom.

Clearly, the only way to fix this is with the help of a very powerful sorcerer.

Sinbad finds Sokurah just as he’s about to leave town and pleads for his help. It turns out to be no problem for Sokurah to reverse the spell. In fact, he knows the counter-spell and only needs to procure one ingredient. It’s the shell of giant Roc’s egg.

A pensive Sinbad.
Oh, you think that you have it tought in your life. Imagine what it would be like with magic spells, monsters, evil wizards and jealous women. It is no wonder that Sinbad is so pensive.

Ah, the shell of the egg.

But that’s only available on the island of Colossa and we already know you don’t want to go there, right Sinbad? Well, right?

Still politics are politics, and if you don’t play your cards right, the result could be war! Thus, with the princess’s father immediately threatening war on Bagdad (despite Bagdad obviously having nothing to do with the incredible shrinking Parisa – but that’s an argument for another time), a shift in policy occurs and the next thing you know, a ship is being outfitted. As such, a big crossbow is being built and Sinbad is attempting to recruit a crew.

But where would you get a crew from for what is surely a suicide mission right into the heart of monster country?

Sindbad with lovely Parisa.
Sindbad with lovely Parisa. Obviously back up to full size with all the curves in the right places, and ready to experience all that life can throw at her.

Where do most guys for suicide missions come from?

Indeed, you find them at the toughest prison in whatever location the recruiting is being done in! I was thinking that we might be in for a Dirty Dozen-style affair with off-beat characters each with a specialized skill (forger, demolitions expert, scrounger, drunk) that would come in handy for this trek.

The "Big Leagues" Arabian style.
The “Big Leagues” Arabian style. Sinbad and his lovely future bride at the club with the biggest players in the known world (at that time). They are eating fine delicious and exotic foods, and experiencing all the earthly pleasures and delights available to them. Partying on Arabian style.

However, the intention of them being so vicious and crazy that they turn out to be the best dang fighting machine ever assembled doesn’t happen. Instead, these cons are so vicious and crazy that they mutiny as soon as they set sail. Not only that, but they attempt to take over the ship!

Unsurprisingly, the movie is filled with fantastic creatures and some very impressive visuals. The cyclops is a fearsome beast with great animation (based on the critter from 20 Million Miles to Earth) and fantastic integration into most scenes. This guy ranks right up there with the best of Harryhausen. A climactic skeleton battle is also highly impressive, with stunning choreography providing some damned impressive integration with real actors. It’s a stunningly well-realized scene. 

 -Revisiting Ray Harryhausen’s 1958 classic, The 7th Voyage of Sinbad 

Things don’t go any more smoothly once they hit Cyclops Island. If you can imagine. Treasure, a genie, and guy getting roasted alive are among the highlights.

Sinbad promising his future wife that everything will work out fine once he takes care of shopping.
Sinbad promising his future wife that everything will work out fine once he takes care of shopping. First on the list; the dairy isle. He has to go ahead and get some rather large eggs.

Conclusion

This is by far the best of the three fantasy adventure movies that Kerwin Matthews (Sinbad) made during this era. If you have the time and the inclination, I would strongly recommend a rewatch of this movie. Preferably on a hazy hot dog-day afternoon in August, or a cold snowy blistery Saturday afternoon in January. I promise that it will reawaken the boyhood in you (if you are a man), the nurturing and strong lady in you (if you are a lass), or complete revulsion (if you are gender-confused).

Links

Here’s some decent links that you all might want to take a look at.

Torrent Links

You can watch it for free if you don’t mind waiting a half an hour to half a day to download the torrent.

For those of you who are unaware. Torrents are parts of files that are spread out in tiny packets all over the internet. You use a "Bit Torrent" client to vacuum up all those little bits and pieces of the file. It then assembles the file into a movie that you can watch. The time that this takes can vary from a few minutes to weeks depending on how popular or obscure your searched file is.

You will need an application to manage the download. I recommend the free application VUZE. To download the video is thus easy. Install VUZE, and then click on one of the following torrent links.

Depending on where you live, you might not have the freedom to access these sites and the ISP might block them from access, or the search engines might black out their search results. Americans, in particular, might have some real problems. Therefore, I listed the most accessible torrent sites available to Americans. Pirate Bay and 1337X. I think that Kick Ass Torrents is still blocked for all Americans.

Stories that Inspired Me

Here are reprints in full text of stories that inspired me, but that are nearly impossible to find in China. I place them here as sort of a personal library that I can use for inspiration. The reader is welcome to come and enjoy a read or two as well.

Link
Space Cadet (Full Text) by Robert Heinlein
Link
Link
Link
Link
Link
Link
Link
Link
The Last Night
The Flying Machine
A story of escape.
All Summer in a day.
The Smile by Ray Bradbury
The menace from Earth
Delilah and the Space Rigger
Life-Line
The Tax-payer
The Pedestrian
Time for the stars.
Glory Road by Robert Heinlein
Starman Jones (Full Text) by Robert Heinlein.
The Lottery (Full Text) by Shirley Jackson
The Cold Equations (Full Text)
Farnham's Freehold (Full Text) by Robert Heinlein
Invisible Boy (Full Text) by Ray Bradbury
Job: A Comedy of Justice (Full Text) by Robert Heinlein
Spell my name with an "S" by Isaac Asimov
The Proud Robot (Full Text)
The Time Locker
Not the First (Full Text) by A.E. van Vogt

My Poetry

My Kitten Knows

Articles & Links

You’ll not find any big banners or popups here talking about cookies and privacy notices. There are no ads on this site (aside from the hosting ads – a necessary evil). Functionally and fundamentally, I just don’t make money off of this blog. It is NOT monetized. Finally, I don’t track you because I just don’t care to.

  • You can start reading the articles by going HERE.
  • You can visit the Index Page HERE to explore by article subject.
  • You can also ask the author some questions. You can go HERE to find out how to go about this.
  • You can find out more about the author HERE.
  • If you have concerns or complaints, you can go HERE.
  • If you want to make a donation, you can go HERE.