This is for all youse guys that used to read Mad Magazine back in the 1970’s. It was part comic, part sarcasm, and part boyhood joy. Nothing even similar to it exists today. But, back in the day, we all would read it while drinking our sodas, and munching on our Babe Ruth candy bars.
The summers were of baseball, and fishing poles. It consisted of canoes, and mason jars. It was bicycle riding, and rail road track hikes, as well as exploring old homes and factories. It consisted of wall telephones in olive green kitchens, milk boxes on the porch, and hotdogs over an open fire in the evening.
We wore bell bottom pants, polyester billow sleeve shirts with choke collars, and big decorate belt buckles. A “nickel bag” of pot was enough to put on an open album cover, and use your driver’s license to separate the stems from the seeds. We had cigarette lighters built into the cars will back seat ash trays, and “cherry bomb” mufflers.
It was a calmer time; a simpler time. A time before the world went completely MAD.
This is my tribute.
MAD Magazine.
What me worry?
What is the best thing that ever happened to you since you were born?
I turned 18 and had proof. I looked 14 but it didn’t matter. 2 brothers owned a deli in my neighborhood, they took a liking to me. I made $108:00 a week and drank $150:00 worth of Lowenbrau beer back when it was made in Germany. The refrigerator where they kept the beer was out of sorts. Every beer had ice in it. It was fucken heaven.
The deli brothers slept in a back room at the store. They closed at 11.
I used to bang on the window at 2 in the morning. They were handing me cases of Lowenbrau out the door at 2 am and 4 am. I ran up a very large bill.
I was incredibly popular with the drunks I hung out with, mostly because I was always buying. One night they were robbed as they closed up. One of them reached for a gun behind the counter, the robber blew both their heads off and split.
I came upon the carnage at 1 am. I knew something wasn’t right when the door was open. I went in and saw they were dead. I walked out with 4 cases of Lowenbrau and put them in a friend’s trunk.
We sat in the nature preserve drinking till the sun came up. It was a great summer. I owed close to one thousand dollars in credit. It would have taken me years to pay it off. They were barely scratching out a living in the deli. We were all better off
Beef and Mushroom Stew
with Caraway Dumplings
Browning meat in the oven reduces the amount of fat needed for cooking. Serve with julienne parsnips and carrots.
Yield: 8 servings
Ingredients
Stew
- 1 1/2 pounds round or blade steak
- 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
- 1/2 teaspoon freshly ground pepper
- 1/4 teaspoon salt
- Bouquet Garni*
- 1 tablespoon vegetable oil (if necessary)
- 1/2 pound small mushrooms
- 1/2 cup chopped onion
- 2 cloves garlic, finely chopped
- 2 cups beef stock
- 1/2 cup dry red wine
- 2 tablespoons tomato paste
Dumplings
- 1 cup soft fresh bread crumbs
- 1/4 cup melted butter
- 1/4 cup all-purpose flour
- 1 teaspoon baking powder
- 1/2 teaspoon caraway seeds
- 1/4 teaspoon salt
- 1 egg, beaten
- 1 egg white
Instructions
Stew
- Cut steak into 1 1/2 inch cubes. In a bag, combine flour, pepper and salt. Add beef, a few pieces at a time, and shake to coat with flour mixture. Shake off excess and place meat on wire rack in flameproof casserole. Bake in 350 degrees F oven for about 25 minutes or until browned. Meanwhile, prepare Bouquet Garni.
- Set meat aside on platter.
- Place casserole over medium heat. Only if necessary add all or part of the oil. Add mushrooms, cap side down, and cook until golden, transferring to platter as they brown.
- Add onion and garlic; cook until onion is transparent. Add stock, wine and tomato paste; bring to a simmer, stirring and scraping bottom of casserole with wooden spoon to scrape up any brown bits.
- Return meat to pan; add Bouquet Garni. Cover and simmer over low heat for 1 hour or until meat is tender. Meanwhile prepare dumplings.
Dumplings
- In a bowl, toss bread crumbs and melted butter together with a fork. Combine flour, baking powder, caraway seeds and salt. Mix lightly into crumb mixture. Beat together egg and egg white; add to crumb mixture and mix lightly (mixture will be soft) shape into 8 balls of even size.
- Remove Bouquet Garni and discard. While stew is simmering, add dumplings, cover and cook, without removing lid, for 18 minutes.
Notes
* Tie together with kitchen twine 1 celery stalk with leaves, 3 or 4 sprigs parsley, 1 bay leaf and small sprig of thyme.
Insanity
What’s a rule your employer implemented that backfired terribly?
LOL
I worked for a company called Pyxis that made medication dispensing systems. The first CEO of the company was a VERY smart man named Ron Taylor who said “we will NEVER be FDA regulated” – the thinking being that if we are, the weight of the FDA’s requirements for paperwork and process are just *onerous*. Which they are. Anyway, we made sure the product never delivered drugs to patients – that the Nurse or Doc that used our system was ALWAYS the final vehicle of delivery – so we didn’t need to be FDA regulated.
Years later, Pyxis is bought by Cardinal Health who then buys bunch of other med-tech companies and they have this bright young VP who says “since half of our stuff is FDA regulated, let’s make ALL of our stuff FDA regulated!!!”. All of us old-timer engineers told him it was a bad idea, we explained that we’d never release a new software revision or product again… but he didn’t listen.
Once we invited the FDA to the building to check out out, that was that. The doors were very nearly shut, he was asked to leave and the company took a HUGE hit. The FDA didn’t really want to be there, but once you invite them in – they’re in. I was there for the whole transition – not my first time seeing that – and it was pathetic. In my remaining years at that company, not a single major product initiative or update made its way out the door.
So I think that qualifies.
Truth
What has an employee said that immediately caused you to fire them?
I was an assistant manager of a service station (gas ration + garage) and responsible for most of the station’s hiring, training, and firing.
We had hired a kid named “Kris,” who had managed to pass the math part of the application and seemed relatively competent to be polite and make accurate change.
One day, a long time customer of the garage came walking around the bay side of the building and waved me down. He was more my boss’s customers met than mine, but we knew each other well enough.
“Hey, Mark. I wonder if I could talk to ya for moment?” He had a fairly concerned look on his face.
Being someone who was always willing to help a customer solve an issue, I didn’t hesitate.
“Of course! Hat can I do for you?”
“Well, I , uh, I wanted to let ya know that I was talking to the kid in the store and, and he told me that I should definitely not be bringing my car here to you guys.”
I was speechless for a good five seconds, but my eyes were probably meeting my ears.
“Mr. Smith, thank you so much for letting me know. You know how hard Mr. Boss and I work to make sure all of our customers are well taken care of and I appreciate you sharing this with me.”
I walked over to the store side and asked Kris if he had actually told our customer, Mr. Smith, who had been a gas and garage customer for over 15 years, that he shouldn’t trust our shop to take care of his car.
Kris was 19, heading on up to 13, so he thought he was a “man of the world” since he had a 30+ year old sugar momma and must’ve thought that made him something extra special.
“Yeah.”
“You’re fired. I’ll have Mr. Boss down here in less than an hour to write your last check. You can wait here or come back.”
He decided to come back after standing there for a moment without saying anything.
I called up my boss and told him what had happened. He told me to write up a letter explaining why he was being fired, and that he would be there as quickly as he could to get that check together.
Kris came by and I gave him his check in an envelope with the letter. I just handed it to him. He took it and walked out. I didn’t say a word, and neither did he.
Good riddance! I was so glad we had done such a great job by our customers that one of them had no problems letting me know about that kid.
6 Lies You’re Told About The World
Has a cop ever said something to you which was completely unexpected?
It was Melbourne, Victoria, 1970.
Teaching conditions and pay were not good for government teachers. The premier, Sir Henry Bolte, had thrown down the gauntlet for teachers. There was to be a strike and teachers were to gather at the steps of Parliament House while a bill to make striking illegal for teachers was to be debated.
I decided to go by public transport so I would not get stuck in town or have to pay excessive parking fees (after all, I was a lowly paid teacher). I got to the steps of Parliament House before 9 a.m. There were police shoulder to shoulder forming an impenetrable line – and the only teacher there was me.
I moved up and down, waiting for others to arrive. By about 9:15, no=one else had arrived and a senior policeman stepped down and spoke to me. “Why are you so special that there are so many of us here?” I replied that I was the only one on time and everyone else was late. By 9:30, all except two police left.
By 10, there were a few hundred other teachers there, so the two police were totally overwhelmed. But we did behave!
My moment of fame, and the local papers didn’t get a photo of me facing off to over a hundred police!
Harry Potter but in Africa 🎭(generate AI)
What quality in others makes you want to slap them?
My two friends let’s call them John (Christian American) and Fatima (Arab Muslim) are going out.
They have a passionate love story. Tattooed each other’s names on their bodies. Fought a giant backlash from her Arab family against their marriage because he is from a different religion and culture. Made deep promises to have an eternity of love and marriage together.
One day Fatima gets a message from a woman saying that she is so sorry to be the carrier of bad news but John her fiance is cheating with that woman’s sister. The message contains so many screenshots and proofs that cannot be faked and he is indeed cheating.
The texts she showed me were vomit-enducing. He would tell the other woman exactly the same things he tells her. How he only lives for her. How he can think of nothing but touching her. There were nudes exchanged between them and words of adoration.
Fatima’s world collapsed. She came to me crying and asking about what to do. I told her forget about him. What a piece of trash. Dump him this moment. My blood was truly boiling knowing all the sacrifices she made and all the promises that were broken.
Next day, I woke up to pictures of John and Fatima together uploaded online. I asked her and she said “Oh Salma he told me he was just comforting her because she was having hard times. Besides all men play around sometimes and I love him”.
I can’t decide until this moment whether I want to slap him or her…
Harry Potter but it’s a Western
12 Amazing truths of life you should know
- People will always associate with you when you’re succeeding. No one wants to associate with failure.
- Nobody’s busier than a person who doesn’t want you.
- Just because you love each other doesn’t always mean you’re meant to be together.
- It’s okay to fuck up and make mistakes and to be scared. You don’t have to know what you’re doing all of the time.
- There’s nothing better than showering and putting on an oversized t-shirt and then crawling into a bed with fresh sheets.
- Nothing turns us on more than someone who sincerely cares about you and who directly communicates their intentions.
- Sometimes we get into those moods where we don’t feel like reading, you don’t feel like being on the internet, you don’t feel like watching a tv show or you don’t feel like sleeping and existing in general.
- There’re no final version of ours . We never stop evolving, growing/ changing, nor should we.
- Sometimes you’re in a mood to destroy your relationship with everyone you know.
- Having a baby fall asleep on your chest is one of the purest and nicest things ever.
- Dancing around your room to music and not giving a single fuck is one of the ultimate forms of self care.
- Privacy is power. What people don’t know, they can’t ruin.
History
What happened in a courtroom that gave the judge a belly laugh you will never forget?
This old gentleman was in court because he got a felony ticket for duck hunting with a self made shotgun round that was one grain too heavy after being weighed by the game warden. Some random obscure law. He had been returned to court a number of times while the District Attorney was trying to figure the case out. A new judge who heard the case had the biggest smile as he heard the story from the District Attorney and the very humorous old man.
The judge started chuckling then roared laughing as the man explained that he was the president of the young duck hunters boy scout something or other for the past 40 years teaching young men to hunt ducks and the Game Warden was his ex-wife’s new victim as the warden had been dumb enough to date her, and so the Game Warden was being a bit of a tool.
The judge was laughing so hard as he asked the District Attorney if it was ok to just drop this silly outdated charge so no one had to listen to the outrageous story anymore.
I had to stop the guy on his way out to exchange numbers and went out hunting with him the next week. Dinner was good.
Fun photos
Would you fire your gun if you found your female loved one outside, in the middle of the night desperately trying to escape the grasp of 3 large unidentified men?
911 Center: Nine-one-one, what is your emergency?
David: Shots fired at 123 Mockingbird Lane, in the city.
911 Center: Is anyone hurt, is anyone in danger?
David: No more danger. Yes, my wife. She is in need of EMS, just to check her out. She has some pretty serious contusions.
911 Center: What happened?
David: She’s just scraped up pretty bad, but is safe. Three men tried to drag her into their vehicle, as she got out of her car.
911 Center: Where are those three men, now?
David: Two are laying in the street and one is hanging outside of his vehicle. A white panel van.
911 Center: I have police and EMS on the way. Where are you now?
David: I am in my house with the doors and windows locked.
911 Center: Are the three men moving?
David: I have three males suffering from various gunshot wounds, none of them are moving or breathing, that I can tell.
911 Center: I’m glad that you and your wife are okay. Stay in the house. Stay safe. The police will clear the area and then come in contact with you. Are there any other people with guns, in the area.
David: No. It’s quiet. The neighbors are all in their homes. Cars are driving around the bodies.
___________________________________
Dispatch: Break. Units, 31, 202, 103, 104 and 115. Respond to 123 Mockingbird Lane. Victim reports shots fired, 3 male suspects appear to be shot and non-responsive. Victim and his wife are in their home at the same address, and are sheltering in place. Witnesses report no other individuals in the area.
Unit 31: 31 in route. 202, put 103 at the north end of the block, 115 will position at the south end. 104, 202 and myself will clear the area.
Dispatch: Unit 31, EMS from Smiths, and Centerville paramedics are ready to roll in, once the area is clear.
Dispatch: Break, all units, step down from active shooter protocol, be on standby until 31 clears.
__________________________________
Detective Branch: Sir, at what point did you determine your wife was being attacked.
David: I heard her screaming from the street. I recognized her scream as unusual, because she only screamed like that once before.
Branch: When was that?
David: When she was approached by a stray pitbull and the baby was in the yard.
Branch: Then what did you do?
David: I grabbed my AR and ran to the front of the house.
Branch: What did you see?
David: A big guy dragging my wife by her hair, while she was kicking and screaming. The skinny guy was trying to grab her feet, but she was kicking the crap out of him.
Branch: Then what?
David: I yelled, “I have a gun! Let her go!”
Branch: What did the big guy do?
David: He tried to lift her up to shield himself with her body. The skinny guy started to reach into his waistband. I saw a gun silhouette against his white t-shirt. He wasn’t facing me, so I knew he was going to point his gun at my wife. I shot him first.
Branch: Is that why he was shot in the back?
David: Yes.
Branch: Then what?
David: I shot the skinny guy twice before he fell. One got him in the right shoulder, and the second one hit him in the middle of his back. He didn’t get up, which seemed to piss the big guy off, so while he was fighting with my wife, I ordered him to let her go!
Branch: What did he do when you told him to let your wife go?
David: He seemed to not be too sure what to do, but then I heard two gun shots come from the van. A bullet impacted on the side of the house, about 10 feet from where I was standing. The muzzle flashes were quite bright, coming from the van.
Branch: Then what?
David: So I have this low light scope, and the guy in the van was opening his door and he had a large caliber hand-gun, looked like a 45 or 44 magnum. I wasn’t about to let him out of the van with that gun, so close to my wife, so I put the crosshairs of my scope, on the driver’s head, and shot him. I saw a puff of red in his headlight beam and he didn’t move.
Branch: Why is the big guy, dead?
David: Because he looked over his shoulder and didn’t see the driver any more. He called what I am assuming is his name, and “Nick” didn’t answer. He then put his arm around my wife’s neck and he looked like he was going to choke her out or break her neck. He was big enough to do that… I didn’t have a choice.
Branch: What happened then?
David: I yelled to my wife to “run to your left!”. She used her feet and what strength she had left, to run to her left. The big guy turned to the left with her, which exposed his right side profile. I shot him in the right side of his rib cage. He went down pretty quickly.
Branch: Weren’t you afraid to hit your wife?
David: I prayed to God that I wouldn’t. But I knew that if I accidently hit her, she would forgive me. But I couldn’t forgive myself, if I didn’t hit the men who were attacking her.
Branch: Do you have anything else to add in your statement?
David: No sir.
__________________________________
31: Dispatch, this is thirty-one. Paramedic says all three subjects are DOA. Need a coroner out here, with a bio-cleanup crew. We are taping off the area and posting a patrol at the house for the night. Put 103 on it.
Dispatch: Chief wants to know if we are pulling in the vic for the DA?
31: His call. But I am not seeing it.
THE END
Footnote: I originally posted this answer back in October of last year. However, I deleted my account and all my answers after my life was threatened. (Not over this post, but another one.) So, now that that problem is solved. I am going to re-enter Quora. Hopefully, with a few more controls and a nice security system.
Modern Women Get SALTY When Men Start Ignoring Them
What is the best comeback you used on someone?
I was having a skiing class in St. Anton, Austria back in 90’s and the class took a lunch break. Eric the ski instructor was making conversation and asked how we had all come down to Austria. I told I had driven and he asked if I had found it a problem driving on the RHS in my right hand drive car (Peugeot 205 GTI 1.9 went like hell). I said no and I drove a lot abroad and he then asked which other countries drove on the left. I think I mentioned Japan, Australia and New Zealand and then a Dutch chap said South Africa. There was a moment of silence before Eric said “The British invented concentration camps”. I should have bitten my tongue but came back with “Maybe but we didn’t fit them out with Gas Chambers and Ovens” . “No just machine guns” replied Eric. The Dutch chap then said that many Dutch people wouldn’t ski in Austria as Kurt Waldheim (former secretary general of the United Nations and former member of the SS) was President of Austria. He had been voted in despite knowledge of his war efforts. They had better ski in Holland then said Eric. At which point someone suggested it might be a good idea if we changed the subject and normality resumed. As we get up from the table Eric says “Where would you like to ski this afternoon?” I couldn’t resist it so I said “How about Poland? ” At least everyone laughed, including Eric.
Trust no one
Who was the least qualified person to ever try to give you life advice?
Last week I had the pleasure of babysitting my friend’s 4-year-old daughter for the day.
We had a fun day: going to the library, picnicking in the park, playing on the playground and ending the day with a little bit of ice cream! (I’m allowed to spoil her).
Once we had been home for a few minutes I noticed I was getting a migraine and asked her to play quietly because my head hurt.
I then proceeded to peruse my phone as I waited for the migraine to subside.
“No, no, no,” the little girl said to me.
I glanced up and gave her a curious look.
“If your head hurts, you don’t look at the screens. You close the eyes like this and don’t do the phone or the computer,” she told me.
I obeyed and noticed that my migraine dissipated quicker than usual.
That 4-year-old was incredibly unqualified (what with her still being a toddler and all), but I’ll be darned if she didn’t have some great life advice.
She Tried To Date Women As a Man And Quickly Learned Why Men Are Opting Out of Dating | Part 2 Norah
Norah.
What is the most romantic thing someone said or did to you?
A guy asked me to be his girlfriend the night before he left to France for a 3-month internship but I rejected him because I wasn’t sure. We remained close friends after that. On the night of my birthday (he was still in France), we video-called and he sent me a link to a website. It turned out that he made a video of each of our friends saying happy birthday to me, along with my favourite songs playing on the background. At the end of the video, he said happy birthday to me with Rascal Flatts’ song My Wish.
“And while you’re out there getting where you’re getting to
I hope you know somebody loves you
And wants the same things too
Yeah, this is my wish”
He is now my boyfriend of 2 years.
AI experts make predictions for 2040. I was a little surprised
Have you ever sabotaged food because someone was stealing it?
My mother did. I was the youngest of six kids. We brown bagged lunches every day. We. included my father. My mom made one heck of a good lunch from leftover from the night before. She always baked and had a slice of cake or some sweet included in our lunch.
My dad was senior test director at our local Army base and was pretty high up in government service workers (GS 15 rank almost equal to a General but was a civilian). He worked with high ranking Army people.
His brown bag lunch started to go missing several times a week. My father was money tight (tight as a crabs ass and the crab is waterproof) so him having to spend money for lunch was not going over very well.
My Mother made cupcakes for dessert one day but iced two of them with, you guessed it right, ExLax. Not just your normal dose for constipation but enough for an almost immediate explosion.
It only took a few hours for my father to find out who was stealing his lunch. That Major was transferred very quickly after the incident.
Hungry Potter and the Chamber of Snacks – (Harry Potter AI)
What one thing did you do that left your mother sobbing?
Not my mom but my dad. I was 12 going into 8th grade, dad and I were doing my back to school shopping at our thrift stores. I had my budget, my list, I knew exactly what to spend. When we got to the counter and after she totaled everything, she could have said this before, but the cashier said the store was under new ownership and there was a 10% purchase fee. WTH!!! I’ve never heard of that except at grocery stores (that cost plus thing). Anyway I’m over budget so I have to take off some things, the shoes I could live without, the belt I really liked, and 2 shirts. Not a lot and I could recycle a few more from last year (my used last year clothes are really showing their age so they get put in work clothes or grease rags) but we total out and leave. My dad who had been so excited early seemed really quiet. After loading this in our truck we head towards home. In my reserve pocket I pull out my ice-cream fund. Every year before or since (even this year when dad took me college clothes shopping) I keep enough for ice-cream. My dad stops at the shop and says he’s not really in the mood for ice-cream. Wait a minute this is our thing always. My dad sets in on this I should have better, he should have made more money, his little girl shouldn’t have to buy 2nd hand clothes for school. He has completely failed me as a father. Maybe I would have been better off with his brother’s family, they have money. I was shocked, appalled, I have never felt that way. I slapped him, harder than I meant to but I did. And I pulled out, as he says, my grandma voice. Listen here mister. You have never once come close to failing me not even for a moment. The love and devotion you have given me is worth more than any amount of money in the world. I don’t need better or expensive stuff. I need you holding me at night when I’m scared, telling me you believe in me when no one else does. Letting me know that beans and bread for dinner is perfect again this week. I don’t want more money or expensive, flashy stuff, I want us. I want our goofy little traditions, our silly little interactions, our weird fun times. You are the best father in the whole world because you value love over anything else. Now this is our ice-cream tradition and if you don’t want to do it then let’s just leave. We both cried alot in our truck that day, and it was the best ice-cream treat we’ve had. My dad has never brought up money again and I haven’t slapped him…well that hard again. I love you always daddy
Harry Potter but in Spain
Has Donald Trump ever been caught cheating at golf?
Trump is a great golfer. The best golfer to ever occupy the White house. It’s not even close. He is very good. Yet, as in most things Trump, he is not as outstanding as he claims to be. He lies and cheats.
Trump claims to have a USGA handicap index of 2.8. This is simply not true. Is Donald Trump lying about having a three handicap?
Yes, and does he cheat too? Yes, he cheats:
Former Sports Illustrated managing editor Mark Mulvoy told the Washington Post
that: “once playing with Trump in the 1990s he realized that Trump had placed a ball just feet from the pin that he had never hit. Mulvoy called Trump out on cheating and Trump rationalized:
“Ahh, the guys I play with cheat all the time,” Mulvoy said Trump told him. “I have to cheat to keep up with them.”
Someone I know golfed with Trump at a charity event. Apparently Trump was cheating and was called out.
When asked to stop cheating, Trump responded: “I cheat on my taxes, I cheat on my wives, and I cheat at Golf. Get used to it.”
Trump then smiled broadly, and kept cheating. He didn’t win the tournament. But he didn’t stop cheating.
A recent book has come out detailing the main ways Donald Trump cheats at golf even when playing against Tiger Woods
.
1. The Invisible Dunk
“I’ve played with him a lot,” says a frequent guest in Trump’s foursomes. “This one time, I was in the fairway and he was right of the green but a little bit down the hill. He didn’t think anybody was watching, but I was. I saw him make a chipping motion from the side of the hill but no ball came up. Then he walked up the hill, stuck his hand in the hole and pulled a ball out. It must’ve been a ball he had in his hand the whole time. Then he looked up and yelled, ‘I chipped in!’”
2. The Quick Rake
This is a sneaky little move in which you hit your approach putt and then quickly walk up and rake up what’s left of it, no matter the length, before your opponents can stop you or think to holler, “Hey, wait a minute!” Trump has mastered this move. He does it sometimes before the ball has even stopped rolling. MSNBC cameras caught him doing it once to a ball that had sped five feet past the hole and was gaining speed. By the time anybody can object, the ball is already in his pocket.
3. The Ball Switch
“Whenever I’ve caddied in Trump’s group,” says Greg Puga, an elite Los Angeles amateur and caddy, who has Trump in his group plenty, “he always gets his own cart. He makes sure to hit first off every tee box and then jumps in the cart, so he’s halfway down the fairway before the other three are done driving. That way he can get up there quick and mess with his ball.
Csipetka (Pinched Noodles – Hungary)
Ingredients
- 1 cup all-purpose flour
- 1/2 teaspoon salt
- 1 egg
- 1 tablespoon vegetable oil
Instructions
- Mix flour and salt; add egg. Stir to make a stiff dough, sprinkling in a few drops of cold water if necessary. Knead until smooth.
- Let dough rest for at least 30 minutes.
- Flatten dough a bit at a time between floured palms (or roll 1/8 inch thick on a floured board) and pinch off pieces slightly smaller than a dime. Drop them into rapidly boiling salted water; cook until tender, about 15 minutes.
- Drain and rinse csipetke; stir them directly into stew or soup, if ready. Otherwise, turn them into a bowl, coat with oil, and set aside in a warm place until ready to use.
Notes
You can drop csipetke into broth or soup for extra flavor and texture, or you can serve them alongside a main course with sauce or gravy, or you can use them in place of dumplings or noodles in almost any other recipe.
Good to know
What is the most bizarre evidence ever permitted in court?
This may have been common at the time but it will still sound pretty bizarre to American ears in 2020.
In May 1894, the federal government put four men on trial for smuggling opium into San Francisco aboard the yacht Emerald. Now, shipping, selling, and smoking opium was totally legal in America that year; there were at least twenty shops selling opium in Chinatown – and advertising in the local papers and the city directory (under “Opium Dealers”). However, everybody had to pay the $10 per pound import duty in order to do so, and as always, there were people who didn’t want to cut the government in on the profits. One of them was Ewen W. McLean, who’d been smuggling opium for almost a decade. But he and his captain, John Voss, had avoided arrest and were safely out of reach up in Victoria, British Columbia, Canada. Louis Greenwald, George Thomas, George Wichman, and Emerald’s mate, Henry Mensing weren’t so lucky. After a couple of days of testimony, in which two members of what the newspapers called “the Emerald Ring,” flipped and gave up the four and the whole scheme, the prosecutors had a solid case and just needed to tie up a couple of legal bows.
One of these was demonstrating that the duty hadn’t been paid. Not too difficult, because the half-pound tins in which the opium was smuggled were supposed to bear a Customs stamp and none of the ones seized did. The second issue was a little trickier. The government needed to show that the opium was in fact opium and that it had come from abroad (thereby requiring payment of the duty).
There were no crime labs back then, no CSI or Quantico, so the government had a conundrum. They solved it by bringing in an opium expert, a Chinatown resident and long-time opium consumer named Mun Jin Moy, who laid out all the gear he needed to smoke some opium. At the urging of the United States Attorney, Mun broke open six cans from the seizure, withdrew some opium from each, and as the newspaper reported it, “cooked his dope over the little spirit lamp, and then, placing it on the bowl of the pipe, sucked away with apparently great enjoyment as his little eyes blinked and glistened through the wreaths of smoke.”
Undoubtedly fairly wasted at this point, but apparently still able to talk, Moy considered carefully. “’Him velly good,’” he said, and ruled that the opium had come from Victoria, being a higher quality than that from Panama.”
With that testimony “in the can,” Mun left the stand, the only person I know of who was actually paid by the government to get high in a federal courtroom. The jury evidently liked what they heard, because they convicted three of the four defendants, who got five years in San Quentin for what were essentially tax violations.
Up in Victoria, McLean ran dope to Hawaii for a few more years, then left that business and went legit, founding the Vancouver Stock Exchange and making it into “Who’s Who in Canada,” so crime evidently does pay sometimes. John Voss attempted to sail around the world in a canoe and didn’t quite make it, but he wrote a book about it (still in print) and his canoe is in the Maritime Museum of British Columbia.
But paying a drug addict to come to federal court and smoke a bunch of dope (from the government’s evidence) and testify about it? That’s pretty damn bizarre.
13 Truths that will hurt like hell but make you a better person
- Your best memories are not always real. When someone makes us feel good, we tend to color all memories of them positively and they might not be as good as you remember. Kind of like how as kids we thought our parents were super heros. This makes you a better person cause you can leave in the present and not compare your present relationships to the past.
- maybe you’re the problem. When in difficult relationships it’s important to consider if and how you’re the problem. Not to say that bad people don’t exist but also if you’re with them, why then are you with them? You do have a problem too
- Your family doesn’t love you unconditionally. Try being a pain and you’ll see this for sure. Actually the only people who love you unconditionally are people who don’t love themselves. Even your child will stop loving you and love another mother if you stop mothering them
- Not everyone will get to have a peaceful beautiful death. Many will die in painful ways. Enjoy a beautiful peaceful life while you can.
- You will likely be completely forgotten about 20–80 years after you die. Your legacy too so stop focusing on building a legacy and instead focus on giving your family a beautiful love cause that’s mostly what they’ll miss before you get forgotten. The people who knew you might never forget you but soon they’ll die too and you’ll seize to exist. Don’t believe me? Just think about it… what’s the name of your grandfather’s grandfather?
- Your children don’t care how successful you are. They just want and need your positive attention. If you sacrifice this for work or building a legacy, they’ll very quickly and happily squander your legacy soon as you’re gone
- You don’t know what you don’t know. Next time someone speaks allow yourself to listen and discover what you didn’t know
- very few people are thinking about you right now. Most of them are thinking about themselves and what you think of them but not really thinking about you
- In 10 years you’ll most likely realize you did some things wrong even the rbi gas you’re convinced that you’re doing right. As you acquire more info, you’ll realize how limited your thinking was. Don’t believe me? Just imagine how madly I love you were in that first love. You probably thought that will never change. You now realize you were wrong
- many people choose you because they see the value in keeping you around. As soon as you lose that value you will lose those people too
Mad mag was a fav of mine back in the day. I have carried this with me all my life. Famous last words “Lets try some of these pills man”. Blessings mate
A different form of Spy v Spy. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iM2YaO3I1N0
One more Spy. These were simpler days for sure. Enjoy man, It’s classic Aussie pub music. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7S9YVtEiW0E
Snow Blind lyrics man. An old resonator. “I am loaded in a suitcase
Possessions are secondary
To the quest and to the final aim
I m looking over shoulder
Hoping to miss the crossfire
Forget the jest, forget the final blame
I m counting on assistance
Cause there s nothing more
There s nothing more
I hope there s nothing less
I m snowblind, snowblind
Maybe I m snowbound
One s a blindfold, and that s the wrong road
But you can t alter nature s way
So who can say that I m the one to blame
For people escaping nowhere
Cause they think it s greener
But it s never greener
On the other side
I m snowblind, snowblind
Maybe I m snowbound
Say that I m snowblind”