Robert Mugabe

Some hilarious quotes from Robert Mugabe

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Hilarious with some real wisdom in it!

That being said, we shouldn’t be distracted away from his other deeds. Overall, this man is often referred to as pure evil. But, then again, I don’t really know. I do not know him personally. I can’t imagine him being any worse than Hillary Clinton. Can you?

The only white man you can trust is a dead white man.
                                                                            
-Robert Mugabe

Anyways, these quotes are golden. I guess that even the most reprehensible person can come up with one-liners, eh?

Who is Robert Mugabe?

Robert Mugabe has been the president of Zimbabwe since 1987. He attained his job after leading bloody guerrilla warfare against the white colonial rulers of what was then Rhodesia.

Mugabe lead the Zimbabwe African National Union – Patriotic Front, a socialist party founded in 1987. Mugabe and his party are also heavily nationalist with left-wing ideology, favoring land seizures from white Zimbabweans while claiming that doing so counters the nation’s imperialist past.

Mugabe holds seven degrees from South Africa’s Fort Hare University. In 1963 he was secretary general of the Maoist Zimbabwe African National Union.

In 1964, he was sentenced to 10 years in prison for “subversive speech” against the Rhodesian government. Once released, he fled to Mozambique to launch a guerrilla war for independence.

He returned to Rhodesia 1979 and became prime minister in 1980; the next month, the newly independent country was renamed Zimbabwe. Mugabe assumed the presidency in 1987, with the prime minister role being abolished.

Under his rule, annual inflation has soared to 100,000%.

Hilarious quotes from the ex-President of Zimbabwe:

  • When your clothes are made of cassava leaves, you don’t take a goat as a friend.
  • If you are ugly, you are ugly. Stop talking about inner beauty because men don’t walk around with X-ray machines to see inner beauty.
  • When one’s goat gets missing, the aroma of a neighbour’s soup gets suspicious.
  • Treat every part of your towel nicely because the part that wipes your buttocks today will wipe your face tomorrow.
  • Sometimes you look back at girls you spent money on, rather than send it to your mum, and you realize witchcraft is real.
  • Cigarette is tobacco rolled in a piece of paper with fire on one end and a fool on the other end.
  • Racism will never end as long as people still use black color for bad luck and white for peace… But I don’t care as long as I still use the white tissue paper to wipe my ass!
  • No African girl will choose six pack over six cars.. So stop going to the gym and go to work!
  • It’s better to sit in a bar thinking about God than to sit in a church thinking about beer.
  • He who swallows a complete coconut has absolute trust in his anus.
  • The only warning Africans take seriously is LOW BATTERY.
  • It is not possible that women can be at par with men.

Conclusion

You can be reprehensible and still have some good things to say. You do not have to like or admire a person to learn from them.

I get that from time to time. People accuse me of being the spawn of Satan because I happen to like to drink red wine and live in China.

Well, at which I can only respond with “ok.”

Life is too short to worry about what other people are doing with their lives.

Dionysus Cat.
Dionysus Cat.
A little weekend humor  

A pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the next race, and it won again. 

The local newspaper read: PASTOR’S ASS OUT FRONT. 

The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race. 

The next day, the local newspaper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR’S ASS. 

This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. 

The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN. 

The Bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10. 

The next day the paper read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10. 

This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild. 

The next day the headlines read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE. 

The Bishop was buried the next day. 

The moral of the story is:  Being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery and even shorten your life. So be yourself and enjoy life. You’ll be a lot happier and live longer!

I hope that you enjoyed this post. I have others in my Happiness Index, over here…

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