“They are flowing with the Cosmic Molasses.” – Zephyr the Genie, in awe

True story.

I was on my way back to UK from Argentina, having been on a geological expedition in the Andes.

Unfortunately, I got stuck at Miami Airport with just $30 in my pocket. With so little dosh I couldn’t get a motel/hotel as I had to eat and drink and I didn’t know how long for. I shared the floor with the cockroaches at night!

Apparently, my aircraft was in Spain, but couldn’t fly into UK because of heavy snow. So they couldn’t tell me when it would eventually get to Miami.

In fact it was three days. Any airport is boring, but believe me three days in purple carpeted Miami Airport was mind numbing.

At one point I got a bus down to South Beach (?) to break the monotony for a couple of hours, but it was jaded and faded and with gangs on just about every corner I decided that it was marginally safer at the airport.

At the bus stop there was a really gorgeous willowy blonde and a little old lady, who could have been anyone’s granny.

She said the the blond ‘’You’ll have someone to talk to on the way to the airport, dear.’’

No answer from this vision of loveliness.

The bus arrived and we both got on, she waved goodbye to ‘granny’ and sat down. I thought why not chance my arm a bit and chat.

Me: ‘’Been on holiday?’’

Miss USA: ‘’Yep.’’

Me: ‘’Had a good time?’’

Miss USA: ‘’Yep’’

Me (this is hard work): ‘’So where is home?’’

Miss USA: ‘’New York’’

Me: ‘’Like it there?’’

Miss USA: ‘’Yep.’’

Me (struggling to find some common ground…which was not forthcoming) ‘’What do you do?’’

Miss USA: ‘’I’m a hooker.’’

Me:………………..

Best put down line I’ve ever heard! Of course, she may have been telling the truth. Who knows?

Pictures

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The Hong Kong based company Hutchinson operates two ports in the Panama Canal.

The concession deal which granted the ports to Hutchinson was signed in 1996. Hong Kong was still under British rule back then and didn’t return to China until July 1997. The Hong Kong tycoon, Sir Ka-shing Lee, who owns the Hutchinson company, was annointed by the British crown, and has since moved most of his wealth to UK, and his citizenship, to Canada.

Also the Canal Zone was still governed by the US in 1996. It wasn’t until the end of 1999, that the US turned the Canal Zone over to Panama.

So, this “China taking over Panama Canal” story is really just a click-bait about a past US-UK deal. If you really stretch it, you can even say Canada is trying to take over the Canal, because the company owner is now Canadian.

See how much the real world differs from media propangada? And having lived for long time on both sides, I can tell you it’s the same way with most other mainstream English language reports on China.

Sir Whiskerton and the Groovy Guardian’s Slow-Mo Retreat

Ah, dear reader, you return to find me, Sir Whiskerton, in the midst of a crisis of momentum. This is not a tale of high-speed chases or explosive chaos, but of its polar opposite: a creeping, meditative malaise that threatened to bring the vibrant life of our farm to a complete and utter standstill. It is a story of a genie, some turtles, and the profound difference between peace and paralysis. So, still your fidgeting paws and prepare for the glacial, groovy tale of The Zen of the Zany.

The Arrival of the Shell-Shocked Steppers

It began on a perfectly pleasant afternoon, which is precisely when the most peculiar troubles arise. A trio of tortoises—Sheldon, Shelbourne, and Shelob—had taken up residence near the pond. They were not merely slow; they were masters of inertia, philosophers of pause. Their movement was so deliberate that a snail, passing by, tipped its non-existent hat in respect.

This alone would not have been a crisis. The crisis was their effect on Zephyr the Genie.

Zephyr, who resides in his vintage lava lamp, observed the tortoises for a full day. The swirling, psychedelic blobs in his lamp slowed to a gentle, hypnotic pulse, settling into a deep, serene green.

“Far out,” Zephyr breathed, his voice a melodic, hypnotic hum. “Do you feel it, my dudes? The vibe? These shelled sages are flowing with the Cosmic Molasses. They have achieved Ultimate Zen.”

Bessie the Tie-Dye Cow, ambling over, stared intently at Sheldon, who was contemplating a blade of grass as if it held the secrets of the universe. “Whoa,” Bessie murmured, her patchwork fur shifting through a spectrum of muted, slow-swirling colors. “My aura is slowing down! I can see the individual pigment molecules of my fur! It’s, like, a whole groovy ecosystem, man.”

The Great Still-Off

Zephyr, convinced he had witnessed the pinnacle of enlightenment, decided the entire farm needed to learn from the “Shell-Shocked Steppers.” He floated from his lamp, his robes flowing in an unseen breeze, and called for a “Turtle Meditation.”

“Alright, beautiful beings,” he chanted. “Let it all go. Release the need to do. Simply… be. Find your inner tortoise. For the next hour, we are one with the stillness.”

What followed was the most absurd hour of my life. The farm was frozen in a tableau of attempted tranquility. Porkchop was stuck mid-scratch against a fencepost. The Valley Chicks were paused in a conga line, their tiny faces screwed up in concentration. Bessie, true to her word, had achieved a state so still she had, in fact, fallen asleep standing up, emitting a soft, meditative snore.

And I, Sir Whiskerton, was trapped. Sheldon the tortoise, in his quest for Zen, had chosen my shadow as his focal point. He had not moved a muscle for forty minutes.

“Zephyr,” I said, my voice dangerously calm. “I appreciate the spiritual interpretation. I truly do. But Sheldon has been standing on my shadow for forty minutes, and the sun is moving faster than he is. My afternoon nap is being delayed by a celestial body, and I find that utterly unacceptable.”

Zephyr merely smiled a blissful, infuriating smile. “He’s teaching you patience, man. It’s a beautiful, slow-burning lesson.”

The Unraveling of the Cosmic Molasses

The farm was suffering. The eggs weren’t gathered because Doris was “communing with the slow-rolling pebble.” The feed wasn’t distributed because everyone was “being, not doing.” A palpable sense of frustration was building beneath the enforced calm.

The breaking point was a single, shimmering dragonfly. It zipped past Sheldon’s nose. The tortoise’s head, moving at a speed that defied physics, shot out and snapped the insect out of the air before returning to its prior state of absolute stillness, all in the blink of an eye.

There was a collective, gasping silence.

Zephyr’s lamp flickered from green to a confused yellow. “Whoa. Did you dudes see that? That was… targeted. That was, like, purposeful action.”

I seized the moment. “Precisely, Zephyr. That was not mindless stillness. That was perfect, patient timing. He was not halting his life; he was waiting for it. There is a profound difference.”

A look of dawning understanding crossed Zephyr’s face. He looked at Bessie, asleep on her feet. He looked at the frustrated, fidgeting animals. He looked back at the tortoises, who were now communicating with a series of slow, deliberate blinks—a secret, slow-motion language I was perfectly content to never decipher.

“You’re right, my feline friend,” Zephyr said, his voice losing its hypnotic drone and regaining its usual groovy warmth. “I was digging the slowness, but I lost the beat. Even the deepest Zen needs a little rhythm. True peace isn’t about stopping the music; it’s about finding your own tempo within the song.”

The Resolution
With a snap of his fingers (which produced a sound like a gently plucked sitar), Zephyr released the farm from its meditative trance. The animals shook themselves out with a collective sigh of relief. Bessie woke up and declared she’d had a vision of a “truly epic salad.” Zephyr, having learned a valuable lesson, now uses the tortoises as an example of “focused patience,” not total inertia.
Moral of the Story: Mindfulness should be a tool to enhance your experience of life, not a cage that halts it entirely. The true path to balance is finding your own unique pace.

The Aftermath
Life on the farm returned to its beautifully chaotic rhythm. Sheldon and his crew remain by the pond, respected but no longer worshipped. Zephyr’s lava lamp now pulses with a vibrant, ever-changing mix of colors, reflecting the dynamic balance of the farm. And I, Sir Whiskerton, finally got my nap, having firmly asserted that while patience is a virtue, it should not be practiced at the expense of a perfectly good sunbeam.
And so, dear reader, we close this chapter on a balanced, groovy note—but rest assured, the farm’s next adventure is just one misunderstood philosophy away.
The End.


Post-Credit Scene:

A week later, Cecil and Chester are seen trying to “optimize” the tortoises by attaching tiny, wind-up toy motors to their shells. The tortoises remain completely stationary, the motors whirring futilely until they wind down. Cecil consults his handbook, utterly baffled, while Chester suggests “bigger motors.”

Best Lines:

  • “They are flowing with the Cosmic Molasses.” – Zephyr the Genie, in awe.

  • “Whoa! My aura is slowing down! I can see the individual pigment molecules of my fur!” – Bessie the Cow, achieving molecular awareness.

  • “Sheldon has been standing on my shadow for forty minutes, and the sun is moving faster than he is.” – Sir Whiskerton, reaching his limit.

Starring:

  • Sir Whiskerton (The Voice of Reason & Impatient Aristocrat)

  • Zephyr the Genie (The Misguided Guru of Groove)

  • The Shell-Shocked Steppers (The Tortoise Trio)

  • Bessie the Tie-Dye Cow (The Willing Acolyte)

P.S.
Remember: Beware of anyone who tells you that enlightenment requires you to stop moving. The universe itself is expanding, the planets are spinning, and the grass is growing. The trick isn’t to out-wait it all, but to find a rhythm that lets you dance along without getting dizzy.

There’s an excellent book called Shattered Sword. Two pictures show the big disadvantages of the Japanese carriers vs the US carriers from Midway (and one.

This is the Akagi, where Naguma and his staff worked during Midway

This is the Yorktown where Fletcher and his staff worked.

There are two little differences in design that change everything between Japanese and US carriers from these pre-war photographs.

Look at the size of the Island. The small Island on the Akagi seems to be an advantage to give more deck space. But it leads to problems when she is used also as a flag ship. There isn’t enough room in the Akagi’s island for Nagumo to work. He was packed in with personnel running the ship, his staff, and others. Without a clear information flow and room to process the information, he made mistakes that Fletcher (on the Yorktown with her much more roomier island) did not. The island size is almost enough to have swung Midway to a US victory on its own.

However, the big key is the picture of the Yorktown. In that picture, she has all the doors on the hanger deck wide open. These doors allowed the Yorktown mechanics to warm up the engines on their aircraft for 15–30 minutes before putting them on deck. So the deck could be left clear to do flight operations. Japanese carriers like the Akagi did not have big open doors on the hangar deck. This meant that she had to put planes on deck and let them warm up the engines for 30 minutes or so before launching them. The doors meant the Akagi couldn’t launch and retrieve planes as quickly as the Yorktown. So, when Nagumo changed planes on what to do with a second strike, he slowed down flight operations for a lot longer than if he had been aboard a US carrier like the Yorktown.

The doors also had a second effect. The Akagi could make much more radical turns without fear of flooding the hangars. Japanese captains were trained to do radical maneuvers to avoid being hit by bombs. In all those early attacks against the Japanese fleet at Midway, no hits were scored because the ships were doing evasive maneuvers. But this meant the formation had to be reformed after each attack, flight operations on the deck had to be halted, and there was complete chaos in the hangar as the ship twisted and turned. The US carriers tended to go on straight lines and tried to continue flight operations even in the middle of being attacked. This allowed US carriers to send more planes up more often than Japanese carriers, even if their crews at Midway were not as well trained and drilled as their Japanese counterparts.

But the big thing with the doors was that they were fatal if a fire broke out in the hangar. The Yorktown could (and did) shove burning planes and fuel tanks and ammo out of the doors and into the sea when she was damaged. The Akagi could not. A single US bomb hit the elevator on the Akagi and started a fire in the Hangar. With no way to push the flaming planes out of the hangar and a broken elevator, the Akagi was doomed. The Japanese had woeful damage control training and equipment that didn’t help, but once they had a fire in the Hangar of significance, the Akagi was in bad shape The Yorktown survived a hangar fire and her deck being penetrated at Coral Sea and Midway (it was torpedoes that got her).

The Japanese Carriers were dangerous when they had the advantage in training of their crews and pilots. But when the US caught up, the US carriers being more efficient in command and flight operations made them much better weapon systems. Add the ability to take hits that a Japanese carrier could not and they were war winning.

Run From

Written in response to: Center your story around something that’s hidden.

Lamar Davis

Crime Romance Science Fiction

 

Ever since Kenny was young, he knew what he wanted to be when he grew up. Growing up he saw his father fade in and out of his life and his mother try and pick up the slack, becoming exhausted. This left young Kenny still struggling with the loss of his brother just a few years prior, still burning his mind. Quiet, nerdy, and not very outgoing, he started smoking and going for adventures through the galaxy of Weidustu. He wanted to be rich, not very exciting, hearing many times that “if only I were rich” conversation between adults. It was something seen as unattainable, he knew he could, and he had too.As the bass shook his mirror, the rap lyrics blared, eyes red and low a picture flashed in his mind. Speeding through the stars “never mind it” Kenny thought. As he came to his first stop a chilling feeling shot through his body.Antugua, where his brother lost his life 5 years earlier. Landing in the field where he last saw his brother, he cracked the latch and threw open the thick glass dome that had encapsulated him. Leaving behind his PQ-759 spacecraft, he started walking down a path just behind the line of trees in front of the spacecraft. The yabvac’s were squalling on the darkest day of the year. Every year there is a full 24-hour period where it is pitch black, no light shines on the planet as it turns away from its sun and leaves orbit returning after this period.Kenny flashed a light, and saw the markings and engravings made by his brother’s crew. They were a group going across the galaxy trying to make a better living, on the other side of the law. From robberies to gruesome things, like murder, his brother and his crew were not afraid of getting their hands dirty. Kenny did not like them from the little he knew. In fact, he knew little of this life until after his brother’s death and his crew started disappearing. Z his right-hand man was found a few months after his brother’s death, non-responsive, in a small town on this planet too. Their girlfriends Mina and Reena on separate occasions had lost their lives, meaning the core of the group had all passed.Kenny’s brother had always told him if anything had happened to him head to where we grouped up to lay low for a while. “This was the spot” Kenny thought. He pushed the door open, thankfully remembering his matches, he lit the candles around the room. Stumbling around the room looking for the chair switch made to unlock where the book was hidden, he ripped the furniture around the room furiously. “Where is it, where is it?” he started chanting, continuing to dismantle the room.He never wanted to come back here which is why he avoided this place since his brother’s death. Kenny tried hard to forget it, moving himself to Thianus and just tried doing some regular work building infrastructure. He started to notice being watched from afar by someone he did not recognize. Over a few more weeks, he kept seeing them in different places causing him to camp out at his apartment. Was this because of something my brother did?It was high on his list of reasons honestly; his brother was known as very kind to most he met when being around his family. However, the other side of his brother was one reason why his crew gained respect over the time they were active. Practically putting a target on the backs of himself and his friends. Frustrated, Kenny sat on the wooden floor in dim candlelight seeing the images flash again. He pulled out his baggy and pipe, lit a match, trying to escape.

While smoke filled the room, he revisited conversations he had with his brother before his passing.

“Hey, is it true?” Kenny asked approaching Keeyan.

“Is what true?” Keeyan questioned back.

“It is all up across the galaxy, did you guys do it?” Kenny started to lose his patience.

“The less you know, the better you are going to be.” Keeyan said with a smile.

Keeyan never stopped smiling, only on one occasion did Kenny see Keeyan not smile and that was when their dad stopped showing up. It became noticeable with the distance in between visits. One day he just never came back around when the brothers noticed it, it hit hard.

“You need to finish your schooling, Kenny. I have my path you must walk yours.” Keeyan said. He walked to go sit on the couch and turned on the radio to listen to the news report.

The radio clicked on, and the reporter was already in the middle of reporting on the story circulating the galaxy. “We now have full confirmation from authorities that PenShin or PS a wanted fugitive around the galaxy, has been found deceased in what they are calling a targeted assassination.” The reporter continued with the information that had been released, Keeyan turned the radio down a bit.

“Why are you doing this?” Kenny asked walking to stand right in front of Keeyan. “Are you guys trying to make it to old age? This is not the way to do it.” Pleaded Kenny.

“He knows what he did was wrong, business is business. I am not concerned with emotions on this topic.” Keeyan said coldly. “What is one thing I have taught you since it has been us? If you do business, you don’t screw your business.”

“So that means you can go around murdering as you wish? Said Kenny astonished, weary from seeing his brother put himself in these situations. He tried once more.

“All in the name of business, right? That is why we hide out in a new place every few months or after every time you decide to blow up on someone. Great business plan.” Kenny started walking away when Keeyan stood up.

“This is where we got because I am willing to risk everything for you and me not to be stuck on that miserable planet we left. We have a better life here, don’t we? Keeyan was staring into Kenny’s soul. “You know what we went through to get here and once you finish school, I can go legit, and you never have to touch this life.”

The scene ended in a flash and brought another dreamlike video of his past to his mind. Keeyan laying in the field where he left his craft with holes all over his body. Keeyan’s final look in his eyes was surprise. Kenny felt a tear come to his eye. “I am sorry I failed.” Kenny lit another match after filling the bowl of his pipe.

“What are you doing here?” Said a female voice that was familiar but not recognizable. Kenny shot up dropping his pipe in the process looking for who had said that.

“Who is it?” Kenny asked, emerging from the darkness outside came in a dark-haired girl, short, yet you could tell she was not to be messed with. She closed the door.

“I am Jocelin, I was close to your brother’s crew” Jocelin looked around at the furniture torn apart across the room.

“You helped us get out of that situation back on Gunabeira.” Kenny blurted, trying to steer the conversation away from the carnage in the room. He remembered Jocelin as they had shared a few good memories. She had disappeared after Keeyan died though. “Where is the rest of the crew?”

“I am trying to figure that out myself, I came here to try and find something to lead me to one of the remaining members. She took one more look at the mess, “Did you really need to dismantle the seating arrangements?” She questioned with a smirk.

“Looking for the book my brother told me about it kept records for certain activities you all participated in.” Kenny shot back, adding a smirk to return the favor. They had always had playful humor between them. Kenny and Jocelin only had one major fight, that is the day she disappeared. The day of Keeyan’s funeral.

“How have you been?” She asked.

“Oh, you know…” Kenny trailed off. “How have you been?”

“Fine, I guess taking random jobs to get by. Not much different from before.” Jocelin found a spot and sat down near Kenny. “Let me get that.” She said pointing at the pipe on the ground. Kenny picked it up and checked it then lit a match for her.

Kenny wanted to say that he had missed her this whole time they had not seen each other. He held that in as they started to go over who was left in the crew.

“We know Hark, Qaz, and Thea are somewhere hiding over in the east of the galaxy they have not reached out to me at all.” Jocelin said. Handing the pipe back to Kenny she continued. “That leaves Gee and me, only 5 of us left.”

“The last time I saw Gee something was off about him.” Kenny said. He blew o’s out of smoke as he exhaled gently. “We need to talk to him first.”

“Why was Gee off to you?” Jocelin questioned.

“He seemed as if he knew something about Keeyan and what happened to him here. I want to know.” Kenny could feel his anger starting to boil up inside of him, he took another puff.

“We can talk to him, but your brother and him sorted their problems out shortly before he died. Maybe he just felt bad about the time he had missed. No one expected to find Keeyan here that day.” Jocelin put her head down for a second, wiping her eyes with her sleeve.

“What’s wrong?” asked Kenny.

“All the memories here…,” She paused, then continued. “It was like they just happened yesterday. We were figuring out how to pull off the things we did. We were a family against everyone else. Now there is nothing left, the only family I have ever known. Are dead or in hiding because of those things now.” Jocelin put her head down once more, this time beginning to sob.

Kenny moved closer to console her, “I am sorry Jocelin.” he said, holding her tightly in his arms.

Their foreheads came together, and their eyes became locked on each other. Kenny’s heart began to beat faster, as Jocelin’s brown eyes entranced him he pulled her closer. Their lips met for only a second, before they both jumped back.

Kenny panicked, “I got caught up in the moment, I don’t know…”

“Yeah, no me too.” She blurted.

“Why don’t we look for that book?”

“Great idea.” Said Jocelin.

As they started scouring the place looking for anything that resembled a chair they came across a few ideas that turned out to be not helpful. Searching and searching they finally came across a bookshelf in the back of 1 of 4 hallways leading to separate tunnels in case of emergency, leading to the bottom of the hill, right before a town. A single chair caricature sat on the second shelf by itself. It was an old man sitting in the chair with a pipe and he looked to be waving his finger.

“This must be it.” said Kenny. “Now what do we do just move it?”

“Go for it.” Jocelin said in a whispery tone. “Just hurry, please, we only have one candle, and it is creepy back here.”

Kenny went to move the statue, all he could do was push it, then it clicked. The bookshelf swung open to a built-in shelf behind it containing a book and a note. The note read, “If you are reading this, I am no longer with you my dear brother. Oh, how I wished this day would never come. This book will help guide you to what I hid for us. Love you, Keeyan.”

Kenny’s eyes started to fill with tears, then the cocking of a pistol filled the hallway.

“Run!” exclaimed Jocelin.

As they frantically tried to escape, they soon realized that whoever this was, was not going to stop.

They were being followed.

Healthy Mushroom Ground Beef Stroganoff

This recipe is a much healthier version an old fashioned favorite. This stroganoff is bulked up and stretched out with lots of vegetables including mushrooms, bell peppers, and eggplant.

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8df15012ba2274f2aaea6f9288268121
Healthy Mushroom Ground Beef Stroganoff

Yield: 6 servings

Ingredients

  • 2 tablespoons olive oil
  • 1 medium onion, finely chopped
  • 24 ounces mushrooms (baby portabella),
  • Finely minced in food processor
  • 2 bell peppers, finely chopped
  • 2 small eggplant (3/4 pound), finely chopped
  • 5 or 6 garlic cloves, minced
  • 1 pound organic lean ground beef
  • 1/2 to 1 teaspoon Creole seasoning
  • 1 teaspoon dried thyme
  • 1 teaspoon gluten-free soy sauce
  • Fresh ground pepper, to taste
  • 1/2 pound dried gluten-free pasta, cooked
  • 1 cup organic beef broth
  • 1/2 cup low-fat organic sour cream
  • Fresh chopped parsley, for garnish

Instructions

  1. Heat oil in large skillet and add onion, mushrooms, peppers, eggplant and garlic. Sauté until all vegetables are soft, and no liquid remains, about 15 minutes.
  2. Add ground beef and sauté until browned, breaking up pieces. Add Creole seasoning and thyme, and cook for 2-3 minutes.
  3. Season with fresh ground pepper to taste. Add broth and cook until heated through. Stir in sour cream, then add cooked noodles; garnish with parsley before serving.

Notes

Add a few tablespoons of tomato paste for extra depth of flavor.

Stop Buying Bread! This Pumpkin Sourdough Baguette Is on Another Level