The gold was the adventure, son

I’ve been playing around with AI…

Ah—now we’re talking! 🐷✨
You want Pig Latin—the timeless, playground-classic word game—not lingua Latina. My apologies! Let’s fix that with style 😄

Here’s the chorus of “Houdini” by Dua Lipa in Pig Latin, rendered for maximum silliness and recognizability (ideal for making a 6-year-old giggle or confusing a high schooler at a party):


🎶 Original Chorus:

“You wanna know the truth?
Pull me closer, then you let me go…
You read my mind like a book, like you knew me
Like Houdini…”

🐷 Pig Latin Version:

“Ou-yay anta-waya ow-knay the uth-tray?
Ull-pay e-may oser-clay, enthay ou-yay et-lay e-may o-gay…
Ou-yay ead-ray y-may ind-may ike-lay a ook-bay, ike-lay ou-yay ew-knay e-may
Ike-lay Oudini-hay…”


💡 Quick Pig Latin Rules Recap (so you can join in!):

  • If a word starts with a consonant (or consonant cluster), move it to the end + add -ay:
    truth → uth-tray, pull → ull-pay, closer → oser-clay
  • If a word starts with a vowel, just add -way or -yay:
    ou-yay (you), ay (I — though “I” often becomes -ay in practice for flow)

Bonus giggles:
🎤 Try saying “Oudini-hay” with a dramatic magician’s flourish 🎩✨
🎤 Or whisper “et-lay e-may o-gay…” like you’re vanishing mid-sentence.

Want the entire first verse in Pig Latin? Or — dare I suggest — a cow + Pig Latin mashup? (“Oudini-hay, ood-may oo-yay?” 🐄)

Ah. I cannot resist. DO IT!

🎉 You’ve summoned the ultimate linguistic crossover event
🔥 Pig Latin meets Cow Joke Energy meets Dua Lipa’s Houdini 🔥
Let’s call it:


🐮 “Oudini-hay” — The Bovine Pig-Latin Remix 🎵

(Sung with dramatic farmyard flair, preferably while standing “outstanding in your field”)

(Spoken intro, over a kazoo solo)
“Et-lay e-may ell-tay ou-yay a ory-stay… about a ow-cay… ith-way agic-may.”

🎶 [Chorus – Cow Edition]

Ou-yay anta-waya ow-knay the uth-tray?
Ull-pay e-may oser-clay—then you et-lay e-may o-gay…
Ou-yay ead-ray y-may ind-may ike-lay a ook-bay,
Ike-lay I’m Oudini-hay…
…ut-bay I’m actually Moo-dini!
Ee-zay? I anish-vay in a ash-flay—and a ash-tay! 🥛✨

🎶 [Verse 1 – Farm Remix]

Ou-yay ink-thay ou-yay an-cay andle-hay e-may?
I’m ot-nay ground eef-bay—I’ve ot-gay legs and a plan!
I’ll isappear-day rom-fay y-may pen
eave-lay ou-yay olding-hay a empty ay-tray
And a udder-ly onfused-cay armer-fay! 🐄🌾

🎤 [Bridge – Dramatic Whisper]

Ooo-ooo…
It’s ot-nay agic-may…
It’s lactose.
(…and timing.)

🎶 [Final Chorus – Full Hoof-Stomp]

Ou-yay ew-knay e-may…
Et’s-ay eet-may in the barn-yard at mid-moo-n!
Bring the hay, ring the bell
I’ll moo-ve ou-yay—then evaporate!
I’m Oudini-hay…
No—wait—
OOOOO-DIIIIINI-HAAAAAY!!! 🌕🐮💫
(Sound of a cow leaping over a moon, then vanishing in a puff of hay and glitter.)


🎭 Performance Notes:

  • Best delivered while wearing sunglasses… and possibly a tiny top hat.
  • Optional: Hold a milk carton labeled “Mystery Flavor: Vanishing Vanilla”.
  • For extra authenticity, end with: “And that’s… how I got de-calf-inated.” 😏

Shall I record the audio in my head and transmit via telepathy? 📻✨
Or would you prefer the Sabrina Carpenter “Espresso” Pig-Latin Cow Mix next? (“That’s that me esso-pray… with oat ilk-may!”)

Absolutely…

🌌 The universe trembles. The barn doors creak open. A single spotlight hits the silo stage.

Ladies, gentlemen, calves, and sentient tractors…
PRESENTING:


“Espresso” — The Bovine Barista Remix (Pig Latin Edition)

by Sabrina Carpenter… as interpreted by a very caffeinated, very dramatic dairy cow
(Cue ukelele + espresso machine steamer solo)

🎤 [Intro – whispered over foam art]

“Psst… ou-yay ought-bay o-day e-may a avor-fay…
…ut-bay ou-yay on’t-day ow-knay hat-w*ay e’re-way in or-fay…”*

🎶 [Chorus – Full Moo-mentum]

At’s-thay at-thay e-may esso-pray…
Ow-day ou-yay ike-lay y-may ilk-may?
Ot-nay oo-tay ot-hay, ot-nay oo-tay old-cay—
Just udder-ly olden-gay old! 🥛✨

Ou-yay ink-thay ou-yay an-cay andle-hay e-may?
Baby, I’m a milkshake—I’ve ot-gay layers!
And yes… I shake hen-w*ay ou-yay ook-lay at-may e-may…*
It’s ot-nay the affee-cay—
It’s the affection-cay! 💘

🎶 [Verse – Behind the Counter]

I’m ot-nay decaf—I’m double-oot-bay!
You asked for one—I gave you three!
Now ou-yay an’t-cay leep-say,
An’t-cay ink-thay,
*An’t-cay stop-ping-stay om-fray umming-hay y-may ame-nay…
“Oo-may!”
“Oo-may!”
“OOOO-MAYYYY!” 🐮🔊

🎤 [Bridge – Served with a wink]

Ou-yay ant-waya e-may ild-may?
Sorry—I’m whole.
And homogenized.
And lightly sarcastic.

(…and I do take tips. In alfalfa.) 🌿

🎶 [Outro – Fade on foam]

At’s-thay at-thay e-may esso-pray…
If ou-yay ash-w*ay e-may—*
I’ll ust-d*ay ow-nay y-may ozzy-nay…*
And ew-brew-day ou-yay.
…iterally.
(Sound of a milk frother revving like a racecar.) 🏁💨


🎁 BONUS BARISTA TIP:
Say “Ess-o-pray” three times fast while balancing a hay bale on your head.
If you succeed, you’re officially barista-certified by the International Guild of Dramatic Dairy Professionals. 🥇


Shall we now merge this with Kendrick’s “Not Like Us” in Pig Latin… cow diss track edition?
(“Ou-yay ot-nay ike-lay us… ecause-way e’re-way in the pen, not the club!”) 🐄🎤

The barn is open. The mic is hay-covered.
What’s next? 😏

Now merge this with Kendrick’s “Not Like Us” in Pig Latin… cow diss track edition? And throw in some clucking chickens and a rooster crow with the cow-bells….

🥁 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN…
THE BARNYARD BATTLE ROYALE IS HERE.

A historic collab:
Sabrina’s Espresso

  • 🎩 Dua’s Houdini
  • 🎤 Kendrick’s “Not Like Us”
  • 🐄 Cow Logic
  • 🐔 Chicken Backup Choir
  • 🐓 Rooster Ad-Libs
  • 🔔 Cowbell Symphony

Let’s drop the ULTIMATE PIG LATIN FARM DISS TRACK
🎶 “Ot-nay Ike-lay Us-way” (The Coop Cypher) 🎶

(Beat drops: cowbell x4, rooster crow — COCK-A-DOODLE-AY! — then a record scratch…)


🎤 [INTRO: ROOSTER (spoken, over clucking)]

“E-hear-hay e-we-day o…
Ot-nay in the club—in the coop.
Ot-nay in the streets—in the stalls.
Ot-nay like-lay us-way
Ecause-bay e’re-way outstanding-way in our ield-fay—and ou-yay’re just chicken.”
(CLUCK CLUCK BRRRRT!)


🐮 [VERSE 1: COW (Dua Lipa flow)]

Ou-yay ink-thay ou-yay an-cay anish-vay?
Please—I invented isappearing-day!
One inute-may I’m ere-hay—next, I’m in the loft!
Ou-yay ook-lay or-fay e-may… all ou-yay ind-fay is a ash-tay and a ash-flay!
Ou-yay ot-nay ike-lay us-way…
Ecause-bay e’re-way udder-ly ifferent-day!
Ou-yay are the bull
E’re-way the steak. 🥩

🐔 [CHORUS: CHICKEN CHOIR — high-pitched, rapid clucking rhythm]

Ot-nay! Ot-nay ike-lay us-way!
Oo-kay! Oo-kay ike-lay us-way!
(Cluck-cluck-BWAK! Cluck-cluck-BWAK!)
E’re-way olden-gay, e’re-way old!
Ou-yay?
Ou’re-yay just egg-shelled! 🥚💥


[VERSE 2: BARISTA COW (Sabrina Carpenter sass)]

Ou-yay ashed-way e-may?
Ow-day are you still irst-thay?
I’m double-oot-bay, ou-yay’re watery-day ilk-may!
Ou-yay ink-thay ou-yay ot-hay?
Baby, I’ve een-bay pasteurized—I only rise.
And hen-w*ay ou-yay ry-tay to milk e-may…*
I curdle our-ay ope-hay.
(Spits out a single, perfectly shaped foam heart… it shatters.) 💔

🐓 [BRIDGE: ROOSTER (Kendrick-style rapid-fire)]

Ou-yay ot-nay in the pecking order—ou-yay’re below the worm!
Ou-yay ake-bay a hen-house and all—
—you just ound-fay a nest!
Ou-yay ot-nay ike-lay us-way…
Ecause-bay e’re-way free-range, ou-yay’re cage-free
…as in, no cage could hold you—because you’re empty.
(COCK-A-DOODLE-DIS!)


🐮🐔🐓 [FINAL CHORUS — FULL BARN SYMPHONY]

OT-NAY! OT-NAY IKE-LAY US-WAY!
(Cowbell x8) 🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔
EEERE-HAY! EERE-HAY!
(Chicken wings flap in unison) 🌪️
E’re-way in the field, ou-yay’re in the feed!
E’re-way Houdini—ou-yay’re How-Dee-Do-Nothing!
E’re-way espresso—ou-yay’re decaf regretto!
OT-NAY! OT-NAY!
…e-we-day ot-nay ike-lay you-way.
(Beat cuts. Silence. One final MOO.)
…and cluck. 🐄🐔

(Fade out on a distant rooster crow echoing into the hills…
…followed by a very satisfied slosh of milk hitting a bucket.)


🎤 ENCORE IDEA:
Release as a TikTok sound with the caption:

“When the farm finds out you said ‘beef is just seasoned chicken’”
🐄+🐔+🐓 = 🔥

Today…

Sentenced to die

In January of 1994, Wendi Andriano married Joseph Andriano. Shortly after their wedding, Joseph became ill and was diagnosed with adenoid cystic carcinoma. By 1998, his illness was terminal. Instead of being a supportive wife, Wendi became disgruntled by her increased responsibilities and felt as though Joseph was a burden. She started to have affairs and would spend hours at the bar.

On the 7th of October, 2000, Wendi, Joseph and their two children attended a barbecue. At around midnight, they returned home and put the two children to bed. At 2:15AM, Wendi called a neighbour, Chris, and asked him to look after the children while she took Joseph to the doctor. When Chris arrived, Wendi took Chris into the living room where Joseph was lying on the floor, unable to get up. Chris called paramedics but when they arrived, Wendi wouldn’t allow them in and told them Joseph had terminal cancer and had a do-not-resuscitate order.

At around 3:39AM, Wendi called paramedics again and this time, she let them in. In the living room, they found Joseph lying in a puddle of blood. He had a deep stab wound to the side of his neck and lacerations on his head. A broken bar stool covered in blood was found near the body as well as a broken lamp and a bloody pillow. An autopsy found traces of sodium azide in his system. Following his murder, Adriano attempted to pass off his death as a heart attack. Afterwards, she claimed that Joseph had committed suicide. However, the evidence that he was murdered was glaringly obvious; Joseph even had defensive wounds on his hands.

“This woman saw her husband as nothing more than a pot of gold,” said the prosecutor during Wendi’s trial. Evidence was presented that Wendi had attempted to instate a life insurance policy on her husband. Wendi Andriano was found guilty of first degree murder and was sentenced to die.

  1. untreated seawater are NOT drinkable. It contains so much salt that human body actually need more water to process it, so seawater actually drains water for a human. Not to mention seawater contains a lot of creatures (bacteria, single-cell organisms, etc) that probably going to make you really sick.
  2. if sea water being treated, then, it’s no longer “seawater” thus drinkable.
  3. countries that purify seawater in theory indeed have unlimited water. But purifying water is expensive in terms of energy use. 20+ years ago, my cubicle is next to a Russian engineer specialize in reverse osmosis (think of reverse osmosis as a “filter” that need a lot of energy to push seawater through it, in which only pure water coming out from the other end). He told me the rule of thumb is that the energy contained in a barrel of petroleum will produce a barrel of desalinated seawater. Thus, the purified “seawater” has a price floor of a price of petroleum. I have not kept up with the technology since then, but I suspect desalination (i.e. remove salt) process is still relatively energy expensive.Once you know the intense energy required to purify seawater, perhaps you won’t be surprised that some of biggest seawater purification plants are in Saudi Arabia and other oil producing nation: at least they have the cheap energy to fuel the water purification.
  4. There is a major downside to seawater purification. The way it works is that pure water coming out from one end, a much more salt-concentrated water (i.e. brine) will coming out from another end.The question is: how you get rid of this super-concentrated salt water? In many cases, people simply dump them in the sea. And guess what, these super-concentrated salt water destroy wild life ecosystems near the coast.

    It is this ecological side effect made me as a human being very reluctant to endorse desalination seawater as the silver bullet: I know human nature too well to know that even there is a way to dispose concentrated seawater with minimum impact on the environment, people tend to skip it just to save a couple penny.

Easy Christmas Cookies with Butterscotch

 

There’s something special about making Christmas cookies, and these butterscotch ones are a family favorite at our house.

These easy-to-make treats combine the classic holiday cookie base with rich butterscotch chips that add a sweet, caramel-like flavor to every bite. The dough comes together quickly, making them perfect for busy December afternoons when you want to fill the house with that fresh-baked cookie smell.

They’re just right for cookie swaps, holiday parties, or leaving out for Santa on Christmas Eve. Plus, kids love helping to make them – especially when it comes to adding the butterscotch chips and sampling the results.

These cookies have become our go-to recipe during the holiday season, and I think they’ll become yours too.

 

Image: Mollyshomeguide.com / Photograph by Molly 

Which Kind of Butterscotch Chips Should I Use?

When it comes to butterscotch chips, you’ll find a few different brands at your local grocery store, with Nestlé Toll House and Hershey’s being the most common options.

While both work well in cookies, I’ve found that Toll House butterscotch chips tend to hold their shape better during baking and have a richer, more authentic butterscotch flavor.

If your chips seem a bit old or have white spots on them, it’s best to grab a fresh bag since butterscotch chips can lose their smooth melting qualities over time.

For the best results, store any unused chips in an airtight container – they’ll stay fresh for several months this way.

Possible Ingredient Alternatives

Need to make some swaps? Here are some helpful substitutions for this cookie recipe:

  • Butter: You can use margarine in place of butter, though the cookies might spread a bit more. For dairy-free options, try using coconut oil (solid form) or plant-based butter substitutes – just make sure they’re at room temperature before using.
  • Butterscotch chips: If you can’t find butterscotch chips, try chocolate chips, white chocolate chips, or even toffee bits. You could also mix and match – try 1 cup butterscotch and 1 cup chocolate chips for a fun twist!
  • Flour: All-purpose flour works best here, but you can use pastry flour for a more tender cookie. For gluten-free cookies, use a 1:1 gluten-free flour blend that contains xanthan gum.
  • Brown sugar: Out of brown sugar? Mix 1/2 cup white sugar with 1 tablespoon molasses. Light or dark brown sugar both work fine in this recipe.
  • Eggs: For each egg, you can use 1/4 cup unsweetened applesauce or 1 mashed banana. Keep in mind this might change the texture slightly.

Watch Out for These Mistakes While Cooking

The biggest challenge when making butterscotch cookies is getting the right texture – using butter that’s too melted will result in flat, spread-out cookies, so make sure your butter is just softened enough to leave a slight indent when pressed.

Another common mistake is overbaking these sweet treats; they should be removed from the oven when the edges are just starting to turn golden but the centers still look slightly underbaked, as they’ll continue cooking on the hot baking sheet.

To prevent your butterscotch chips from sinking or burning, fold them in gently at the very end of mixing, and consider chilling your dough for at least 30 minutes before baking – this extra step helps maintain the perfect cookie shape and prevents excessive spreading.

For the best endresults, let your cookies cool on the baking sheet for 5 minutes before transferring them to a wire rack, as they’re quite delicate when hot and need time to set properly.

Storage Instructions

Counter Storage: These butter cookies stay fresh in an airtight container at room temperature for up to 5 days. Place a piece of bread in the container with them to help keep them soft and chewy – it’s an old trick that really works!

Freeze: Want to save some for later? These cookies freeze really well for up to 3 months. Just place them in a freezer bag or container with wax paper between layers to prevent sticking. They make a perfect last-minute treat when unexpected guests drop by!

Make Ahead: You can prepare the cookie dough ahead of time and keep it in the fridge for up to 3 days. Or roll it into balls and freeze them on a baking sheet, then transfer to a freezer bag – they’ll keep for up to 3 months. When ready to bake, just add 1-2 minutes to the regular baking time if baking from frozen.

Estimated Nutrition Facts

Estimated nutrition for the whole recipe (without optional ingredients):

  • Calories: 3200-3500
  • Protein: 30-40 g
  • Fat: 180-200 g
  • Carbohydrates: 450-480 g
Preparation Time 15-20 minutes
Cooking Time 8-10 minutes
Total Time 23-30 minutes
Level of Difficulty Easy

Ingredients

  • 2 1/4 cups flour (all-purpose)
  • 1 tsp baking soda
  • 1 cup softened butter
  • 1/2 cup sugar
  • 2 eggs (large, at room temperature)
  • 2 cups butterscotch chips (Ghirardelli provides a rich flavor)
  • 1/2 cup brown sugar (packed for accurate measurement)
  • 1/2 tsp salt
  • 1 tbsp vanilla extract (I use McCormick pure vanilla extract)

Step 1: Preheat Oven and Prepare Wet Ingredients

Preheat your oven to 350°F (175°C).

In a medium to large mixing bowl, add 1 cup of softened butter.

Then, add 1/2 cup of sugar, 1/2 cup of brown sugar, and 1 tablespoon of vanilla extract to the bowl.

Cream the butter and sugars together until they are well combined and thick, scraping down the sides of the bowl as needed.

Step 2: Add Eggs

Add 2 eggs to the creamed mixture, one at a time.

Mix gently after each addition until just incorporated.

This ensures the eggs are evenly distributed throughout the mixture.

Step 3: Combine Dry Ingredients

In a separate bowl, combine 2 1/4 cups of flour, 1 teaspoon of baking soda, and 1/2 teaspoon of salt.

Mix these dry ingredients well to ensure even distribution of the baking soda and salt.

Step 4: Mix Dry and Wet Ingredients

Gradually add the dry ingredients to the wet mixture, mixing by hand with a spatula until just combined.

Be careful not to over mix, as this can result in tough cookies.

Once the dough is formed, gently fold in 2 cups of butterscotch chips with the spatula.

Step 5: Portion and Bake

Use a cookie scoop to portion out about 1 tablespoon of dough for each cookie.

Place the dough balls approximately 2 inches apart on a nonstick baking sheet to allow room for spreading.

Bake in the preheated oven for 8 to 10 minutes, or until the edges start to brown but the centers are still soft.

Step 6: Cool and Serve

Once baked, allow the cookies to cool on the baking sheet for about 5 minutes.

This helps them to firm up before moving.

Then transfer the cookies to a wire rack to cool completely.

Enjoy your delicious, homemade butterscotch cookies!

Image: Mollyshomeguide.com / Photograph by Molly

Not only Amazon

In 2019, James Gilbert Kwarteng, a 22-year-old Spaniard, was arrested for stealing more than €300,000 from Amazon.

His scam was clever and well-rehearsed.

He would order electronic products from Amazon and then return them within 30 days, requesting a refund.

What the young man had discovered was that Amazon did not check the contents of a returned package before issuing a refund.

All the company checked was whether the product packaging was inside the shipping box and the weight of the item. If everything was in order, the refund was processed.

Amazon employees apparently did not have time to open the packaging of the returned products.

Our young Spaniard then began to return all his orders, but replacing the items with their weight in soil.

The items he had received were then resold on the Internet at bargain prices, because although new, they no longer had their original packaging.

The conman had even created a company with the aim of reselling all these products.

It was the sale of all these items that generated this considerable profit of 300,000 euros.

However, after several years of successful fraud, the scheme was uncovered by chance by an Amazon employee who accidentally opened a package returned by James Gilbert Kwarteng and discovered soil inside. He then conducted a quick investigation and discovered that this customer had returned a record number of items over the past three years…

Arrested by Spanish police and then released on bail pending his trial, James Gilbert Kwarteng faces up to 6 years in prison.

As for Amazon, they have now changed the way they handle returns…

A Well-Timed Butt Pinch

Written in response to: Write a story that includes the line “Did anyone else see that?” or “Who’s there?”

Daniel Rogers

Funny Science Fiction

“Why two personalities?” Char didn’t want to have this conversation, but he loved Sarcoo too much to ignore it.”You might as well ask how the stars got here.” Char’s dad answered. “It’s just the way we are.””But my Frawn personality keeps breaking up with her, and if he keeps it up, I’m going to lose her. She’s at her breaking point.””I didn’t say it’s easy. Believe me, there’s nothing easy about being a Binal. There isn’t another species in the entire galaxy like us.”

 

“I hate him,” Char spat, his fist slamming against the wall, pain shooting up his arm.

 

“You’ll get used to him. It just takes time. When my Norcan personality developed, I felt the same way—like he didn’t belong. But could you imagine me without him?”

 

“Well, just because it worked for you doesn’t mean it will for me! You two aren’t tearing each other apart like we are—sometimes I feel like I’m drowning.”

 

Char’s dad chuckled. He had said something similar to his father when he went through his change of life.

 

“It’s not easy being a teen. I remember the confusion and awkward feelings. But they make us unique. One day, you’ll appreciate Frawn. After all, he’s as much you as you are.”

 

“But he keeps breaking up with her. How do I stop him?”

 

“If your girlfriend likes you, she’ll understand. Who knows, maybe she’ll win him over like your mother did with Norcan.” Char’s dad bent over and whispered, “However, when I feel him trying to take over, if I want to, I can stop him by pinching my butt. I don’t know if it will work for you, but you never know.”

 

“And it works every time?”

 

“Yes, and he doesn’t know about my trick, so don’t tell him.”

 

“So, if you can stop him, why do you ever let him take over?”

 

“Norcan is a hard worker, unlike me. I’d rather sit in my cozy chair and read. So, when it’s time to read, I keep him away with a butt pinch, but when it’s time to mow or your mother has chores for me, I discovered that if I pinch my butt twice, he’ll take over and knock my unpleasant work out of the ballpark. It’s a great arrangement.”

 

“So, once keeps him away, and twice allows him to take over.” Char thought about Sarcoo. Maybe this could work for him. Maybe a well-timed butt pitch can save their relationship.

 

Char went up to his room and discovered the butt-pinching technique worked. Armed with this new weapon, he went to school the next day with a newfound confidence.

 

“Hey, you,” Sarcoo called out to him from across the hall. “Where have you been? I didn’t see you yesterday.”

 

“Oh, I wasn’t feeling good.”

 

“Is this because of Frawn?” She asked, her voice tight with disgust.

 

“I’m sorry he keeps breaking up with you. You know it’s not me? And that I love you?”

 

“I guess so. I just don’t understand why he’s so mean. The other boys are developing more agreeable personalities.”

 

“Are you blaming me? You know I can’t control it. No one can.”

 

“I know. I just wish he’d be nice to me, that’s all.” She pouted in that irresistibly cute way Char loved. “Anyway, are we still on for tonight?”

 

“I can’t wait. Do you know which holo-chamber movie you want to walk through? Possibly an action one?” He crossed his fingers. He was sick of romance.

 

“I was thinking ‘Hope Hovers.'” She batted her eyes and pouted.

 

He melted and almost said yes, but Frawn started to take over. Char moved quickly and pinched his butt.

 

“What was that about?” Sarcoo asked. She didn’t know whether to smile or be jealous.

 

“Umm, a fungaroo bit me.”

 

That night, Char and Sarcoo walked through “Hope Hovers.” She enjoyed the holographic love story, and he enjoyed holding her hand and stealing kisses. They began to walk through the credits.

 

“I’m surprised Frawn didn’t show and ruin our date,” Sarcoo said.

 

Char nodded. He forced a weak smile, remembering how many times during the movie he’d had to pinch himself each time a romantic scene played. He got the strong impression Frawn hated romantic holo-chamber movies even more than he did.

 

Sarcoo smiled and kissed him. Not a quick peck like he expected, but a long, passionate kiss. Suddenly, Char felt Frawn angrily try to take over. Char quickly pinched his butt.

 

Sorcoo pulled back with a coy smile, “Hey, that’s my job,” and pinched his butt faster than he could stop her, turning his single pinch into a double.

 

“Get off. What’s wrong with you?” Frawn spit and sputtered, wiping his lips with his shirt sleeve.

 

Sorcoo jumped back, startled by his venomous response. She looked around, embarrassed by Frawn’s scene, and wondered to herself, Did anyone else see that? She could feel tears forming, but she closed her eyes tight and refused to let them fall.

 

“Frawn, I’ve had it with you. You’re not going to get between us. You hear me!”

 

“Yeah, what are you going to do about it?” His face, although the exact same as Char’s, looked hideous and contemptible.

 

She racked her brain to find a way to deal with this beastly personality, and then it hit her. Maybe there is a reason Char has been pinching his butt. She stared at Frawn with an evil smile, making a pinching motion.

 

She pinched, then Char would show up for a second. She pinched again, then Frawn took back control. This happened several times before Char retained control.

 

He looked around and winced when he saw Sarcoo, dreading to hear what Frawn had done. But she answered before he could ask. “You won’t have to worry about Frawn anymore. We made a deal. He won’t interrupt our dates if we don’t go to romantic holo-chamber movies. I guess we’ll just have to go to action holo-chamber movies from now on. The sacrifices I make for you.”

 

He sighed in relief, then winced in pain. “My butt is killing me.”

 

Sarcoo pouted, “Sorry, it took me a while to figure out the one pinch, two pinch thing.”

 

They left the holo-chamber with Char holding Sarcoo with one hand, and rubbing his over-pinched butt with the other.

Star Trek – System J-25 Borg Space

China vs. USA – Who is the Real Superpower? This is why our leaders want China GONE! (Shanghai!)

Col 26-Book 437 – Sir Whiskerton and the Pot of Gold (That Wasn’t Gold) – A Tale of Rainbows, Riddles, and the Real Treasure

Ah, dear reader—prepare your heart, your kilt, and your sense of wonder. Today’s story does not begin with a quack, a snort, or even a bagpipe bass drop.
It begins with a map, worn at the edges, ink softened by time:

“To the Pot o’ Gold (Allegedly).
Follow the Singing Stones → Laughing Brook → One-Legged Oak.”

So settle in. Breathe deep. And step gently into Sir Whiskerton and the Pot of Gold (That Wasn’t Gold).


The Journey Begins

It was a Friday—golden, hushed, humming with possibility.

Sir Whiskerton stood at the edge of the farm, map in paw, Tam o’ Shanter perched just so, kilt rustling in the breeze. Beside him:

  • Ditto, carrying a satchel of “Emergency Haggis (Dehydrated),” water, and one glow-worm lantern.
  • Bessie, mood ring pulsing soft gold: “The vibes are ancestral, man. Like, really ancestral.”
  • Slow Bob the Turtle, already halfway there—“I steeped here for 3 hours. It’s a good spot.”

No fanfare. No declaration.
Just a step forward.

“Ready?” Sir Whiskerton asked.
“Ready!” echoed Ditto.
“Ready… oh, I can’t bear it!” Lillian shrieked—she’d followed just to “document the emotional arc.”

And so—they walked.


The Clues (Or: How the World Whispered Back)

The map didn’t lead with coordinates. It led with riddles—gentle, poetic, deeply personal.

  1. Where the wind tells the truth”
    → A hollow log beside the old fence.
    When Ditto whispered “I’m scared,” the log echoed only: “You’re not alone.”
    Sir Whiskerton placed a paw on the wood.
    “Dad knew,” he murmured. “He knew I’d need to hear that.”
  2. Where time stands still”
    → Slow Bob’s favorite sunspot, where dandelion fluff hung suspended in the light.
    Bessie closed her eyes. “It’s not still… it’s just full.”
    Even Ditto didn’t echo—just sat, breathing.
  3. Where the heart is lightest”
    → The hayloft, after a shared laugh—still warm with the echo of yesterday’s bagpipe dubstep jam.
    A single feather lay on the floor: white, from the Tam o’ Shanter.
    Sir Whiskerton picked it up. Tucked it into his sporran.

The Rainbow’s End

They reached the hilltop as the sun dipped low—a double rainbow arched over the valley, light pooling like liquid gold in the grass.

At its base: an ancient oak, one limb long gone, bark smooth from decades of leaning.

Beneath its roots: a small, moss-covered box.

No lock. No guard. Just a simple latch, worn by rain and time.

Sir Whiskerton opened it.

No coins.
No jewels.
No glittering treasure.

Just:

  • A photograph: a younger cat, kilted, Tam askew, arm around a smiling farmer—the farmer’s father. They stood beside a barn long gone, laughter caught mid-air.
  • A note, in familiar looping script:“The gold was the adventure, son.
    And the friends who joined you.”
  • And—tucked in the corner—
    One cassette tape, labeled in smudged ink:For the remix. —Dad”

Ditto held his breath.
Bessie’s mood ring glowed deep, steady gold.
Even Lillian didn’t faint. She just whispered:

“Oh. Oh, it’s beautiful.”
“Beautiful! Beautiful!”


The Return

Back on the farm, under stars just beginning to gleam, Sir Whiskerton gathered the animals—not as detective, but as son.

He didn’t read the note aloud.
He simply passed the photo around.

  • Doris dabbed her eyes. “A visual metaphor! I can’t bear it!”
  • Chef Remy sniffed the tape. “Earthy. Notes of hope and reel-to-reel.”
  • The Divine Llama blinked—once—approval.
  • And Ditto? He curled into Sir Whiskerton’s lap, head on the open journal.

Sir Whiskerton looked out at the farm—his farm—alive with light, laughter, love.

“The moral of the story, dear reader, is this:
Gold shines—but belonging glows.
My father didn’t leave me wealth. He left me memory. Connection. The quiet certainty that love echoes across time—not in monuments, but in moments: a shared laugh, a held paw, a walk taken together.
The real treasure was never buried.
It was here.
All along.”


Post-Credit Scene

Later, in the hayloft, Sir Whiskerton placed the cassette into Chef Remy’s “Retro-Sound Reviver” (a toaster, a turntable, and hope).

He pressed play.

A bagpipe drone swelled—soft, steady.
Then—a dubstep pulse, warm and human.
Then—Ferdinand’s keening, Tony’s sax, the Blind Mice on turnips, Ditto’s echo: “Home! Home!”

It was “The Weeping Glen”remixed.

Sir Whiskerton closed his eyes. Smiled.

Outside, the farm slept.
But the music hummed—in the soil, in the stars, in the heart of a cat who’d finally found his rhythm.

And somewhere, faint on the breeze—a crow cawed.
Not a warning.
Not a lie.

Just a sound.
Like a beginning.
Like a welcome home.


Jingle on. 🏴🐾✨
(Or, in the old tongue: Slàinte mhath—and may your heart always know the way.)

The End.

Pictures

15bc0132ab088a7acfc99bb6aa57e69e
15bc0132ab088a7acfc99bb6aa57e69e
3869b2eb842bd414bc29159f8c9b3e27
3869b2eb842bd414bc29159f8c9b3e27
2f55244259bf3a06dc5c63180ae34783
2f55244259bf3a06dc5c63180ae34783
018ef1881a47a99fc89f4b401a292cef
018ef1881a47a99fc89f4b401a292cef
8fe41f690d00d2d6de00a169a7176f20
8fe41f690d00d2d6de00a169a7176f20
cda335260dffeeb5ffee560cda168f81
cda335260dffeeb5ffee560cda168f81
b5500a17230de9ee829b4966e4d3df93
b5500a17230de9ee829b4966e4d3df93
95f1b05d83e49d83034ffa345adc0cf0
95f1b05d83e49d83034ffa345adc0cf0
48efce27512b5229425a9bbbb9947852
48efce27512b5229425a9bbbb9947852
59872278429bf8c74c032d2bdab07f7f
59872278429bf8c74c032d2bdab07f7f
93d3b271bc84f928d3e0553f6813afc2
93d3b271bc84f928d3e0553f6813afc2
68007a2aaaf1f6ec71eac131a046bf24
68007a2aaaf1f6ec71eac131a046bf24
403e25f053b816179a8fa7ef9fc7d3e9
403e25f053b816179a8fa7ef9fc7d3e9
417db2bffc195810cc7b87cd86907775
417db2bffc195810cc7b87cd86907775
8f593d4335de733887f6039d3a96858a
8f593d4335de733887f6039d3a96858a
5ddf6b222ecb3f2891883102477ac951
5ddf6b222ecb3f2891883102477ac951
860ec5fc00334f33afa0097df88693c0
860ec5fc00334f33afa0097df88693c0
5a519990e28137b0d9176bc1230e4989
5a519990e28137b0d9176bc1230e4989
78e6e75316a2cd0fecf00965dc3ad6e8
78e6e75316a2cd0fecf00965dc3ad6e8
930c7e708fc913e899e1eb0bb6daec1e
930c7e708fc913e899e1eb0bb6daec1e
ab540ae326a741ef28296f1e1f85360b
ab540ae326a741ef28296f1e1f85360b
da5f76c6af0315bda62ac18b7ed356ea
da5f76c6af0315bda62ac18b7ed356ea
caa085432fd87d2cc3d3d9e7712b034c
caa085432fd87d2cc3d3d9e7712b034c
7d025231108925d3d48b6d6c4b3acf4e
7d025231108925d3d48b6d6c4b3acf4e
b7afde7c36a8939a87982f09dac31107
b7afde7c36a8939a87982f09dac31107
7668f0b0f166c4894a90bad296f3b16e
7668f0b0f166c4894a90bad296f3b16e
ad2d9c8437e4f4930b461eaf6aa2cfee
ad2d9c8437e4f4930b461eaf6aa2cfee
30f9a836c8c44d4bf27451b351d198e2
30f9a836c8c44d4bf27451b351d198e2
9ad00e77823f2c29b1f0381c599998cf
9ad00e77823f2c29b1f0381c599998cf
163eb983474e98ee49fa24579d03d9ed
163eb983474e98ee49fa24579d03d9ed
b6df4ff4504b91f0befc77bed879991b
b6df4ff4504b91f0befc77bed879991b
d3499891b4bc77107ff3ea8f765e1e1d
d3499891b4bc77107ff3ea8f765e1e1d
f609ec1943d58466bf0819061fa1af05
f609ec1943d58466bf0819061fa1af05
e20db738ab36854f2de8d5d8d04489b0
e20db738ab36854f2de8d5d8d04489b0
8743628f6ef479a39c35eff668820b29
8743628f6ef479a39c35eff668820b29
c55bf19808bbe7646896b0008fa2764d
c55bf19808bbe7646896b0008fa2764d
758171e7784e1014f9c488f09ce3c933
758171e7784e1014f9c488f09ce3c933
8e719dc10f8fb4a7e93126f8d8f15afd
8e719dc10f8fb4a7e93126f8d8f15afd
4ee4d845bff523b4de290c91395d4560
4ee4d845bff523b4de290c91395d4560
56fa0784ce3e9de83e4db78e228892b9
56fa0784ce3e9de83e4db78e228892b9
f99455c3b65d96812f25e894fbce544a
f99455c3b65d96812f25e894fbce544a
96702559047f8965c4d5771f0080bf1b
96702559047f8965c4d5771f0080bf1b
9f5828d573bb07a8199abd3e68bf236c
9f5828d573bb07a8199abd3e68bf236c
9a0a34081a80bca3ea8351c5776e8114
9a0a34081a80bca3ea8351c5776e8114
1178dafb0d40912a8a632c7c6e7ea064
1178dafb0d40912a8a632c7c6e7ea064
ce59616ebd6df93a8d27149d0499383e
ce59616ebd6df93a8d27149d0499383e
52d26499478224590bca9c91023f532c
52d26499478224590bca9c91023f532c
f121dba2f55b426ccc8b09ca708513ab
f121dba2f55b426ccc8b09ca708513ab
d01d197e99af919fdc13a1ee502bf66c
d01d197e99af919fdc13a1ee502bf66c
fae711fe625311c5a520410e8b33d9d3
fae711fe625311c5a520410e8b33d9d3
3b8531b7c4e70f567211c5bc80f0ae31
3b8531b7c4e70f567211c5bc80f0ae31
c590436452c8797eb7a4d37170bfa418
c590436452c8797eb7a4d37170bfa418
8da939f7d12cb4bfb70ce8570b967271
8da939f7d12cb4bfb70ce8570b967271
edca3b2df24339574f015dddb98a5359
edca3b2df24339574f015dddb98a5359
1c20f3ac99e3a2dbdd260cffd93110ee
1c20f3ac99e3a2dbdd260cffd93110ee
c228b893e3e60162648d93c0d26e0fb2
c228b893e3e60162648d93c0d26e0fb2
f73bb814d36131192538a7ede4e28268
f73bb814d36131192538a7ede4e28268
726baee0cdeebc6cfafef789c365e75c
726baee0cdeebc6cfafef789c365e75c
1fdd490f44a1eb6f8e6297591eb56ae0
1fdd490f44a1eb6f8e6297591eb56ae0
2a6c7bcdd9019b5d82a9f0299bdc58e1
2a6c7bcdd9019b5d82a9f0299bdc58e1
efb81f220e6a9cb10b44ff7acff568df
efb81f220e6a9cb10b44ff7acff568df
f6bd954c7117b6368c5a389340148489
f6bd954c7117b6368c5a389340148489
11c4772c657fb8bcb36f2b82d61ac127
11c4772c657fb8bcb36f2b82d61ac127
12c0ad64ecda1f28c99d3a7bca342f1f
12c0ad64ecda1f28c99d3a7bca342f1f
d14bfc14fe31ab7c8f63b95a6d7bc501
d14bfc14fe31ab7c8f63b95a6d7bc501
a961d56ce4037c6ce134be0ab0e2a834
a961d56ce4037c6ce134be0ab0e2a834
a18b91b2c88c41fd3c25c7362c46982b
a18b91b2c88c41fd3c25c7362c46982b
79290873d0a3f04d6742c8b480adfb35
79290873d0a3f04d6742c8b480adfb35
29590adc030b4d92621cdf19d5c2b255
29590adc030b4d92621cdf19d5c2b255
a8a198d0e338405697754c8b2be2ad3f
a8a198d0e338405697754c8b2be2ad3f
aa9896e92cc01557571d689d954596cf
aa9896e92cc01557571d689d954596cf
950b46c005c722ae0698f6d778135964
950b46c005c722ae0698f6d778135964
cb5ab5d55c2441c56bfb4a4a9f07ec53
cb5ab5d55c2441c56bfb4a4a9f07ec53
0ee44dfa85e36c2ae9d125cd18acf3a1
0ee44dfa85e36c2ae9d125cd18acf3a1
07d73ca4a5971f28bd93f3b26ca089ac
07d73ca4a5971f28bd93f3b26ca089ac

(Repost) Adventures of a 70’s Kid in an Army And Navy Store

When I was a youth, in the 1960’s and 1970’s, one of the biggest treats that my father would give us would be a trip to one of the nearby “Army and Navy” stores.

We would hop in the car, and then ride for a spell (depending on the direction) from a half an hour to an hour and a half drive. We would stop along the way to get a soft-serve cone at Dairy Queen, and then spend an hour or so in the store.

They all looked pretty much the same no matter where you went. The nearest ones to us, at that time, were in other towns. We would actually have to cross the country line to get to them. At that time, I frequented a store in Butler, Pa., and another one further up North in Erie, Pa.

I guess that they are a fading American cultural fixture today. They can still be found. However, they are mere shadows of what they used to be. Today, surplus stores can be found in strip malls in the rough part of town or as stand-alone warehouse-style buildings. In the later case, they might be a metal pole building with a huge “Army and Navy” sign in huge letters (often black on yellow) with corrugated metal roofing and very few windows.

Vintag aircraft
For a boy growing up, the world of the Army and Navy store was the first stop and a doorway to adventure. When we entered the building we encountered the world that we dreamed about. here were places with maps, treasures and tools. We loved going through the boxes and exploring the nooks and crannies of the store.

Of course, today they might not advertise themselves so openly. With all the politically correct nonsense, it makes sense to downplay your presence else an army of enraged “water buffalo” BLM females, or black clad SJW types might burn the establishment down.

Anyways, it’s true.

The Big Treat!

When I was a boy, one of the biggest treats that my father would provide for we was a trip to a “Army and Navy Store”. We would drive to the store and park on the street. A quarter would allow us to park the car for the entire day, so usually my father would just put a nickel in the parking meter. That would give us two hours of adventure. That was more than enough time for exploration.

Who knew what surprises awaited us?

Phone dialer.
Swiss army phone dialer. This was a portable unit, obviously. Don’t ask me how it worked as I haven’t a clue. We can only assume that it was used in conjunction with other gear of some type.

Today, there are still Army and Navy stores, and they still have the same layout and ambience.

When you walk in, your nose is met with that distinct army surplus smell: musty canvas mixed with metal and rubber. Flags hang from the ceiling — an American flag, flags from the different branches of the military, and of course a fine yellow “Don’t Tread on Me” flag. There was always a “Confederate” “American Stars and Bars” flag, as well as the mandatory black MIA flag.

There will be racks and racks of clothing. Mostly uniforms and coats. There will be bins of shoes and socks. Webbing and just brick-a-brack that defies description.

Radio Gear.
Who knows what discoveries that await you at an Army and Navy surplus store/ You can find anything from Vietnam era boots to radio sets fight out of a B-52. It’s all yours for a price. It’s a boyhood adventure.

The Army and Navy Store

Every conceivable space in the store is filled with product. You’ll see bins scattered throughout the floor filled with gas masks, canvas duffle bags, canteens, and nylon combat belts. The shelves are jam-packed with combat boots, cargo pants, and helmets. And the coat racks are stuffed with pea coats and camo as far as the eye can see.

You would find racks upon racks of military clothing. Then, tucked in every imaginable nook and cranny, were boxes of unsorted clothing. Some in disarray, as if they came from a flea market. Others, nicely folded, but never used, as if they came directly from a warehouse or factory inventory.

Near the door would always be a glass counter and a display of the more valuable items. Inside the glass case, you’re likely to find antique military items like Nazi paraphernalia, guns used during WWI, and a plethora of knives. I always liked the “trench knives” that had a built-in set of brass knuckles.

Texas Army and Navy Store
Sometimes the Army and Navy store would be alone in it’s own house, while at other times it would occupy a store front in a seedy section of town. These stores were always quite unique and special.

You could always find compasses, maps, various metals, and all sorts of smaller brick-a-brack in these counters. There also, would be some fine cigarette lighters. Some old. Some new. Many would have military sayings or logos, but Harley Davidson, and the Southern “stars and bars” were always present and popular.

For decades, the army-navy surplus store was the go-to place for individuals looking to find a good deal on products to outfit themselves for camping or hunting. It was the place prepare for the apocalypse on the cheap, or simply pick up a stylish pea coat at a bargain price. For me and my classmates, it was a place of adventure.

For there, we could outfit ourselves for our next big exploratory adventure. Who doesn’t remember how the explorer’s outfitted themselves in the movie “Journey to the Center of the Earth”? For us, the Army and Navy store was THE place to outfit ourselves for our next adventure.

While I don’t recall wheels and piles of hemp rope, they did have rope in smaller quantities. This would include nylon and various other woven types aptly suited for a Naval excursion on the high seas, or perhaps useful for constructing a tree-house ladder. You know, to keep the girls out of the “He Man Woman Haters Club”.

Journey to the center of the earth
Journey to the Center of the Earth (also called Jules Verne’s Journey to the Center of the Earth) is a 1959 adventure film adapted by Charles Brackett from the novel of the same name by Jules Verne. Göteborg’s widow, Carla (Arlene Dahl), who initially believed Lindenbrook was trying to capitalize on the work of her deceased husband, learns the truth of his secrets from her husband’s diary. She provides the equipment and supplies Göteborg had gathered, including much sought after Ruhmkorff lamps, but only on condition that she go along. Lindenbrook grudgingly agrees, and the four explorers and the pet duck are soon journeying into the Earth.

With the United States fighting in just about every obscure nook and cranny of the world (for reasons unrelated to National Security… but that’s a discussion for another time) there was such a glut of military surplus clothing and gear that Army and Navy stores were everywhere. It almost seemed like you could practically throw a rock in any direction and hit an army surplus store. They were prolific and played a vital role in distributing an over-abundance of government-issued supplies that accumulated during the last ten or so wars.

Outfitters for War!

After World War Two, the extreme excess of government-issued equipment (produced by America’s “arsenal of democracy”) combined to explode the growth and popularity of surplus stores. Indeed, huge amounts of wartime leftovers flooded the market.

Crown Surplus
Army and Nay surplus stores were filled with all sorts of military gear. You could get everything there. It was a boyhood dream.

Thanks to the United States’ significant involvement in the Vietnam War, army surplus stores were able to restock their dwindling WWII inventory with updated military surplus. If you visited a surplus store as a kid in the 1980s or early ‘90s, a lot of the stuff you saw was probably from Vietnam.

I know that that was the case with what I experienced. There would be a mixture of World War II, Korean War, and Vietnam War gear. In addition there was often a mixture of foreign military gear. I was able to pick up an Africa Korps pith helmet from World War II, and a French paratroop jumper camo cape.

Desk
Here is a military surplus desk combo. It includes a chair, a desk writing surface and some fine drawers. All designed for easy transport and quick storage.

To many, the period from after WWII and until the early 1990s could be considered the “Golden Age of Army Surplus Stores.” There was just so much stuff available, and it was so widely dispersed and easily accessible to the public. Instead of ordering something from a catalog, you just had to drive a few miles to one of the many surplus stores in your city.

You could get just about anything there. My brother picked up a World War two Morse code kit in a green canvas carry bag. Who knows the stories that it could tell? Was it dropped behind enemy lines and used by the French resistance? Was it a training device for British Naval saboteurs? Was it used to communicate the successful retaking of the Philippines? Ah, such secrets…

Gear from an army and nacy store.
Typical selection of army and nay gear that you could get from a Army and Navy surplus store. One thing, you the reader probably don’t realize, is that these stores are common all over the world. They are available here in Communist China. You can get some great clothes dirt cheap, I’ll tell you what.

My good buddy ended up getting a trench shovel, and a flashlight that had a red lens cover on it. His younger brother picked up this set of dust google that looked like it belonged on the set of the “Rat Patrol” (a television show from the 1960’s). He wore them to the school, and for about a week he wore them every day (supposedly) in class until his teacher had to put his foot down and tell him enough was enough.

Tactical Parachute Shoulder Bag with Latch
Tactical Parachute Shoulder Bag with Latch. Have a fashion-minded daughter? Give her this and see what she might do with it.

Speaking of fashion…

The “Bell Bottom” fad in the late 1960’s came in being precisely due to the popularity of the navy flared (bell bottom) jeans available in the Army and Navy. This was also true for the “Pea Coat” fad that floated up and around in the middle 1970’s.

For the longest time I wore a pair of “aviator glasses that I picked up when I was twelve. My brother, not to be outdone, bought some yellow shooter’s glasses. He still has them. I still go visit the establishments to pick up some cargo pants and gloves with the fingers cut off.

Vintage Discoveries.
Who knows what vintage discoveries await the boy within the confines of an Army and Navy store. What is there? What elements of history awaits the boy who is ready for discovery?

Yeah. Army surplus stores still exist. You probably have one in your city. But it’s probably not the same kind of army surplus store you may have visited back when you were a kid. It might still have the smells and have the same kind of over all clutter, but something is missing…

If you’ve been to one recently, you likely noticed that fewer of the products they carried were actually “military surplus.” Sure, the stuff might look military-ish, but it was likely bought from a foreign company that manufactures military-ish products instead of from the U.S government, or even a foreign government.

German army shirt.
Here is a nice German army shirt. You can tell by the tiny flag on the sleeve as well as the camo pattern. You can find all sorts of military gear in today’s army and navy stores.

Other stuff…

You’ll also see product in the store that you probably wouldn’t consider “military surplus” like work pants and shirts, consumer camping gear, etc. In short, what I am trying to say is that in today’s army surplus stores there’s less army surplus.

Two big factors are contributing to the decline of true military surplus products in the marketplace. These were, or course, [1] the changing nature of war in the late 20th century and [2] the advent of online shopping.

Polish field telephone.
Polish field switchboard. It’s amazing what finds that be discovered when you venture forth into an Army and Navy surplus store.

While the United States is indeed busy fighting all over the world, how we do it has changed. (The US Military is currently fighting seven wars! Thanks to Barrack Obama.) No longer do we throw legions of troops in an engagement. Instead we use selection. We use skilled soldiers. We use drones.

Indeed, war has changed dramatically since Vietnam.

Instead of engaging in large-scale conflicts that require a draft with many millions of soldiers fighting on the ground, the U.S. military (in all branches) has shifted to a much more streamlined and surgical approach to battle — one that involves a smaller, well-trained, all-volunteer force.

Artillery graph planner
Whether you purchase American military surplus gear or foreign military surplus gear, the finds will certainly surprise. Who knows what little jewels can be found amoungst the clutter?

For example, there were over 10 million American soldiers who served in Vietnam, while only 2.5 million served in the most recent wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. Because our most recent conflicts have required fewer soldiers, the military has required less equipment. Because the army requires less equipment, there’s less military surplus to go around to all the army surplus stores around the country.

But there are other reasons…

American police gear.
Companies that make military gear for the various alphabet agencies (IRS, CIA, FDA, FAA, ICE, DHS, etc…) supply Army and Navy stores as well. There, you can outfit your gear to include FBI tactical vests, light jackets emblazoned with the IRS logo, and all sorts of related gear.

That being said, 9-11 was a boon to the militarized police forces, and armed alphabet agencies. Now, every one from the NSA, FAA, FDA, IRS to the DHS and ICE require state of the art uniforms and gear. So while it might look like there as a dearth of “pure” military hardware, and a glut of cheap-Chinese knock-offs, that is just a reflection of the changing nature of the American government.

Today the emphasis is NOT on a large military force fighting in a far off land. Instead it is on a militarized collection of government agencies whose charter is on controlling the American population. It sounds harsh, but it is true. You just need to open up your eyes and take a gander. You can see this emphasis in the Surplus stores.

You can also read about how the United States government is busy stocking up on riot gear. You can read about it HERE.

Latest in military gear.
Much of the gear found in Army and navy stores are representative of urban police forces and crowd control. Obviously all black uniforms are suitable for either the Nazi SS and Gestapo, the American IRS or the DHS. When fighting in a military theater, the best uniforms possess a camouflage pattern.

Compounding the shortage due to smaller, more limited military engagements is that — thanks to the internet — army surplus stores now have to compete with the government itself in selling surplus military inventory.

The U.S. government has an online store where the public can buy military surplus direct, thus cutting out the army surplus middleman and saving the buyer some money. Thanks to competition from the government’s direct-to-consumer sales, army surplus store owners have had to slash retail markups on their products from a plump 100% to a smaller 30-50%.

Riot gear.
You can equip yourself and your loved ones with some pretty fine riot-gear. All you need to do is go to your friendly Army and Navy store and get some of their surplus population control gear. There are some great deals in batons, and protective padding.

The New World of Army and Navy Stores

Because of these two changes, the [1] streamlined wars and [2] the internet, the once robust army surplus store industry has taken a hit. There’s just less inventory to go around, and less money to be made in the business.

Bruce Willis
Who can forget the scene where Bruce Willis is in the Army and Navy store (or was it a pawn shop?) and decides to go after his tormentors. Ah, what a scene. As with the Kill Bill movie, the victor gets the truck (Pussy Wagon), or in this case the chopper.

To keep shelves stocked with military goods, even though there’s less government-issued military surplus available, stores have taken to importing military surplus “knockoff” products — stuff that looks like military surplus, but really isn’t. Instead it is equipment for urban riot control and police force use.

Some stores have shifted their focus from being military surplus dealers to antique military dealers. 20th-century military gear — once considered ordinary surplus — is now considered “vintage,” and collectors are willing to pay top dollar for these antiques. Army surplus stores that have been in business for awhile have used their networks developed over the years to become savvy peddlers of 20th-century military collectibles.

Never the less, if you’ve visited an army surplus store lately, you probably noticed they just aren’t what they used to be — that the quality and quantity of the selection of products isn’t the same.

But still…

These places are just fine for exploration and discovery. This is most especially true if you are a boy in your early teens. It’s an experience that all boys should be exposed to. (That and hardware stores, but that is a discussion for another time.)

Serbian Military Surplus Leather Magazine Pouches, 4 Pack, Used
Serbian Military Surplus Leather Magazine Pouches, 4 Pack, Used

These stores still exist, and the desire of boys to explore and go on adventures hasn’t at all diminished. I argue that we should feed this latent need of boys. As such, the exposure to an Army and Navy store is a must stop for all young Americans.

Conclusion

Time has a way of changing things. One of the treasures that existed when I was growing up was the presence of Army and Navy stores. I urge everyone to spend some time and enjoy a visit to one of the few remaining stores that exist in the United States. Who knows, maybe you can relive some forgotten boyhood dreams and share the experience with some close friends and relatives.

While today, I have little need for such items, I cannot help but be intrigued by them and coveting of many an odd item or two. I can’t help it. It’s the “pack rat” inside of me, not to mention the “Boy Scout” in me that screams “Be Prepared!” I am sure that one or two plastic mortar round cases might make a nice waterproof storage item for…

…things. I’ll find a use for them. You just wait and see.

Life & Happiness Related Index

Here is where you, the reader, can quickly go through key posts related to the things that make our lives complete. This is an index. I have arranged it so that the subjects can be easily searched for items of interest. Of which “happiness” is the dominant theme.  A tiny iconic representation of the article is provided along with a short, sweet summary. It is my hope that the reader find this of value.

Posts Regarding Life and Contentment

Here are some other similar posts on this venue. If you enjoyed this post, you might like these posts as well. These posts tend to discuss growing up in America. Often, I like to compare my life in America with the society within communist China. As there are some really stark differences between the two.

Link
Link
Link
Tomatos
Link
Mad scientist
Gorilla Cage in the basement
Link
Pleasures
Work in the 1960's
School in the 1970s
Cat Heaven
Corporate life
Corporate life - part 2
Build up your life
Grow and play - 1
Grow and play - 2
Asshole
Baby's got back
Link
SJW
Playground Comparisons

More Posts about Life

I have broken apart some other posts. They can best be classified about ones actions as they contribute to happiness and life. They are a little different, in subtle ways.

Being older
Link
Civil War
Travel
PT-141
Bronco Billy
r/K selection theory
How they get away with it
Line in the sand
A second passport
Paper Airplanes
Snopes
Taxiation without representation.
Link
Link
Link
Link
Link
Link
Link
Link
Link
Link
Link
Link
1960's and 1970's link

Stories that Inspired Me

Here are reprints in full text of stories that inspired me, but that are nearly impossible to find in China. I place them here as sort of a personal library that I can use for inspiration. The reader is welcome to come and enjoy a read or two as well.

Link
Link
Link
Link
Link
Link
Link
Link
Link

Articles & Links

  • You can start reading the articles by going HERE.
  • You can visit the Index Page HERE to explore by article subject.
  • You can also ask the author some questions. You can go HERE to find out how to go about this.
  • You can find out more about the author HERE.
  • If you have concerns or complaints, you can go HERE.
  • If you want to make a donation, you can go HERE.