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The Great Poop Pyramid Scheme (And the USD Pyramid Scheme)

The chopped salad is an American dish. It can easily be adapted for an Italian table; this is a preparation technique, not a recipe. The salad’s name is because all of the ingredients in the salad are cut to a similar size.

A chef at Beverly Hills restaurant, La Scala, first created the chopped salad (photo from La Scala’s website) in the 1950s, for their well-heeled clientele. Many of La Scala’s diners were attired in tuxedos or other formal clothing — clothing they really did not want to mess up during the meal. It’s a brilliant idea. The desire to minimize food splatter doesn’t just apply to wealthy Californians. It applies to folks eating out on business, a couple out on a date, or a variety of other situations.

Since then, chopped salads have been adopted in a wide variety of ways, by many restaurants in North America as well as abroad. The chopped salad was also the inspiration for the Mason Jar salads that were particularly popular with Aldi fans for awhile.

Chopped salads offer some other advantages as well. For a home cook, they can be a great way to use up a small portion of leftovers that otherwise wouldn’t be enough for a meal. They can be an excellent choice for an entree (main course) salad. They can be made a variety of ingredients — legumes, cured meats, pickled vegetables, cheeses? The choice is up to you.

Therefore, an Italian chopped salad wouldn’t be a recipe per se, and would instead be based around what good food is in season, in their fridge, or some combination thereof.

The chopped salad I made here is inspired by the creative fresh salads we had in México. There is a Slovenian diaspora in the country making excellent cured meats. Slovensko charcuterie with Iberico pork? Fabulous!

Fresh baby spinach, chopped

Castelvetrano olives, quartered, lengthwise.

Pickled red onions, chopped.

Dry salami, cut in to thin strips.

Fresh pineapple is cut in to small pieces.

The dressing is a lemon vinaigrette that I emulsified with a hand blender.

Blended together, it’s a big, tasty salad for hubs and I to share.

Don’t get too hung up on recipes on a concept like this. Pick seasonal, tasty ingredients that go together well. Everything else will take care of itself.

ALERT: BlackRock Just Sold $175 Million MORE Bitcoin – The Pattern is TERRIFYING

Many Chinese Students go to the US for Post Graduation or Doctorate courses in various STEM Disciplines (I still can’t believe Mainlanders would pay money to study ARTS in US 😁)

If you observe, upto 2014 – nearly 66% of all students from China who went to the US for their Masters or Doctorate studies stayed back in the US, got Green Cards and became Residents in the US

However post 2014 – especially from 2020 , nearly 90% of all students from China who went to the US for their Masters or Doctorate studies have returned back to Mainland China after completing their courses

Particularly nearly 96% of all Chinese who graduated in 2024 as Masters or Doctorates have returned back to China

In 2016, only 39% of Chinese who completed their Post Doctoral course in US returned to Mainland China while in 2024 it’s almost a Whopping EIGHTY FIVE PERCENT

The message is simple

Chinese are no longer interested in settling down in the US

The Gen Z want to learn, come back home and innovate and help China grow and develop


This is FREAKING THE US out

This is because

  • A Green Card is too delayed for a Chinese and a H1B is no longer WORTH IT
  • The US is no longer the centre of Innovation in the world. China is taking over
  • The Climate in US is too hostile for any foreigners particularly Asian and even more particularly Chinese

Instead of re assuring the Chinese and giving greater incentives like accelerated green cards , the US is acting like ostriches and ignoring the elephant in the room

And they blame the CPC of course 😁😁😁

The CPC sending millions of students to steal US Secrets is such a cliche now that even Americans laugh at it , barring the dumbest hicks and rednecks, the Alabama marrying sister type of people

You know..the Pro Trumpers


You know

At one point in the 1990s – Joe Biden, then a Senator said the US must encourage more and more Chinese to come to US and learn democracy and go back to China and help spread Democratic Ideals

Ironically now – the US is TERRIFIED that the Chinese could show how great the CPC is and make Americans LOATHE THEIR CESSPIT DEMOCRACY


China competes

Apple can sell products, Nike can sell products, Samsung can sell products, NVDIA and ASML can sell products, Audi and BMW can sell products in China

US is TERRIFIED of Competition

Huawei is banned, EVs from China are restricted now Medical Equipment is restricted because the US knows the truth – China is better and getting even better by the day and at half the price 😁


US is becoming another USSR

  • Terrified of the Truth
  • Hiding everything about China and making up lies exactly as USSR cooked up lies about USA between 1975–1985
  • Terrible Censorship
  • Corruption at its absolute peak
  • The People no longer the top priority

China is becoming the next USA of the 1960s

  • Transparency and Visa Free Travel to most people
  • Open Book on China , Visit and find out
  • Brutal war on corruption
  • People are the absolute priority
  • Innovation and competition

That is the ultimate truth today

Everything made in China is underestimated thanks to the 24/7, 365 days a year and 76 years straight demonizing narratives, hate ful rhetoric and half truths and outright lies coming out of the US media. Well this 30 million 1st generation fighter jets fly higher, fly faster and shoot more accurately than their opponent French Fighter Rafale costing 300 million each. 3 were shot down in a dog fight. And China has upgrade this fighter jet 5 times now version F60 is available even faster even higher and even more accurate. Note worthy is the understatement of the century.

A wake up call for the entire west would be a better description. World wide every one need to review their western weapon and reconsider Chinese made ones. Unless you are as dumb as the Indian Air Force! Wonder if a good portion of the 300 million buck goes to some Swiss bank account. Now the world knows why the west lies to the world. 100 million indians need to work their butts off for a year to afford this overrated western jet fighter that can barely match a 6 generation ago Chinese fighter jet worth 10% of the French Jet. No wonder they need to lie to people like the Indians. If a Chinese general were to buy Rafale he would be on his way to the gallows for corruption! Wonder what will India do to him?

To Chinese origin like me, the more the west lies the more I will buy Chinese product.

Cheating Ex Comes Crawling Back After I Leave

Yes, Pakistan’s geographical location is extremely important to China. Pakistan is connected to China on one side and is located on the west coast of the Indian Ocean on the other. Pakistan is China’s channel to bypass the Indian Ocean and the Strait of Malacca. This route was not important when the Indian Ocean route was unobstructed because land transportation costs were high compared to sea transportation. But its importance lies in providing an alternative. Once the passage to the Indian Ocean and the Strait of Malacca is blocked, China can reach the Arabian Sea directly via Pakistan.

The Karakoram Highway, also known as the Friendship Highway in China, was built by the governments of China and Pakistan. It was started in 1962, completed in 1979. So this alternative was already underway in the 1960s.

In addition, Pakistan is close to important regions in the world, such as the Middle East, Europe, and Africa. For China’s imports and exports, the Western Hemisphere route is far more important than the Eastern Hemisphere route, and Pakistan is an important fulcrum.

Of course, the friendship between China and Pakistan has lasted for half a century, and has gone from official to private, and has long surpassed a simple interest relationship.

The official description is “Pakistan-China All-Weather Strategic Cooperative Partnership”, and the folk description is “Iron Brotherhood”.

Anyone who knows Chinese people knows that Chinese people value friendship. If you are nice to Chinese people, they will be super nice to you. But if you don’t respect them, you will suffer. I think India has suffered countless times.

The Time Capsule Storm

Written in response to: Write a story where the weather mirrors a character’s emotions.

Kassidy Amaryllis

3500 A.DJupiter looked lovely this time of year. The perfect storm sat in the middle of it and I yearned for chaos like that in my life. As tempting as it was, I was told to never to leave the ship on my own accord.I often spent my time confined to the space craft, while everyone else discovered something important. My people rode the space belts, trying to find habitable planets and profitable minerals. Earth was a dangerous place after the war. It was riddled with radiation. We were forced to leave. I have no memory of such a place.We created a new democracy, a new start. Space held greater things than our planet ever did, we met the extraterrestrials, the multidementionals— though they didn’t frequent too often. Sometimes a person or two would boomerang here and there and it took some bartering with officials to clear things up. The extraterrestrials offered their help when they could. They saw our planet festered with hate and didn’t know how to stop it. They said it spread like a virus, of which was infectious. Greed fell upon my people until there was close to none left.I was tasked with bartering with the multidementionals. It was grueling work. I often saw lives pan out perfectly, or sideways. It was up to us to manage the galaxy. I am from earth, when she was young and before the war snatched it all up. I have to look onward and not behind, our planet was destined for desolation. I pull through, though. This was never a gift. I was taken in the night by extraterrestrial officials. We were to live our lives dedicated to making sure things paved their path according to plan.Our memories were often wiped. Things I didn’t want to remember slipped through the cracks. I didn’t tell people.I stayed on the ship when I had time off, in the sector that managed time travel. I knew we were only supposed to go there when there was a bug in the time line. Sometimes people who were supposed to meet and create new ideas, don’t always meet. We have to intervene. Butterfly Effect up my ass. I was controlled by a system unbeknownst to me, to meddle in the lives of others, we were observers, we fixed the bugs that riddled the maps.The sector I frequented was empty and not activated for use by others for space travel. It was off the route so I got as much time as I needed.I found myself turning the dial while everyone else slumbered, trying to understand why I felt emotions I couldn’t explain. I was of royalty here, I had only just began my journey, and for some reason I was the best at my job, I was recognized often by the extraterrestrial beings. They looked like us, there were so many different species, and they all knew the lore on humans. I was a human who recognized the pattern and the sequences better than the rest of my kind. History felt funny, my concept of it was so vast and misplaced compared to the humans that were living it unbothered.I debugged human lives, never told when I might be transitioning to the past or present, always told to keep my presence unknown.The portal to the past opened on my command, I had stripped out of my working attire and into commoners clothes, reminiscent of the decade I was returning to. It was pretty easy to blend in. I didn’t like blending in, I felt like I wasn’t born to blend in.I stepped through, the fractals of light pixilated around me. The portal closed and disappeared into the necklace I wore around my neck, it was an access point to go back. I knew my coordinates like the back of my hand. I took down my long curls and breathed in deep. It felt interesting wearing sneakers and jeans. The knitted sweater I wore was so thick, it warded off the cold. My necessities were a jacket, a high tech phone, and American currency. I had whatever else I needed that was included in a satchel on my back, it was protocol to leave fully equipped incase you got stranded.The air felt moist on my skin, under my breath, something that I didn’t understand. I wasn’t familiar with the way water fell from the sky. It perplexed me.I was left at a bus terminal. I had the coordinates on my device pulled up, so I hopped on a bus that took me into the city. The city seemed tired, and my stomach felt sick. I couldn’t pin point it. I knew I couldn’t stay long.The rain wept through the clouds above, sunlight peeked in at every possible moment. The clouds were twisting and turning in on each other.  Rainbows arched high. I think I remember enough about rainbows, they looked so etherial. I felt an urge to run to the end of them. I recall something in the earthling lore— something known as YouTube. I was shown the time capsule of that man who was crying with glee as he found the end of one. It was intriguing enough for me, to wonder why rain falls and rainbows shine through tears. The colors were so vivid, compared to what I experienced day to day on my spacecraft. It was torture, to have to pull away every time, after each mission succeeded. I wanted to live in it, I wanted to live how they did, I didn’t want to have to control their lives like scientific puppetry.The bus slowed, and I got off, near a bundle of food carts. I loved the idea of eating in the past, I couldn’t tell the commoners about my experiences, though. I couldn’t tell officials I was leaving the ship, this was all on my own accord. My secret to keep. I had to do it right.Foods from different cultures wafted into my direction. I felt myself salivating instantly. How was I to chose? I knew I felt a connection deeper than I could explain, to this place, so could I trust my gut?I walked up to a shop that sold something called Ramen, the thick broth people sipped on was so invigorating, the scent of unknown meats filled me with excitement.“I’ll have whatever they’re having!” I told the person behind the counter, as I pointed to the table in the courtyard.I had watched them collect their food and as they began eating, I knew it was what I needed.“One Miso Tonkotsu for the lovely lady!” He hollered, as I payed and tipped a generous amount. That was a common thing here.I stood around the food carts, seeing the families talking and playing in the court yard, as I wished for something different. I knew I was taken in the middle of the night, without my consent. I wish I could change it. I felt like my timeline was taken from me. I knew in another dimension she was probably shining through, doing something she loved, becoming unstoppable. They give you reasons but the reasons were never enough for me.“We saved you from something that could have been your demise!”It never sat right.I nearly jumped with glee as they called my order.“Aurora Jade, your order is ready!”I came to the counter and collected my ramen, which was decorated with with what they called pork belly and soft boiled eggs, though the seaweed was confusing to me. It was green. They said they harvested it from the ocean. It boggled my mind, I had never been to the ocean before.I trailed my way back to a table in the courtyard, the fire was lit and warming the air around me. The sun was low, but still there. Rain and wind were fleeting, the perfect atmosphere, I was told, to eat such a dish. I was lucky to try spirits, this ale was golden and foamy on top. I sat at my table and fell in love all over again. Why can’t I experience this every day? Where was the harm in that? The egg was gooey and golden in the center, the yolk was so soft and buttery. The noodles were chewy, they slurped up well and were freshly pulled.The broth was thick, unlike other kinds of soups that I have tried prior. I have never tasted something so rich, and to be able to pair it with a Japanese ale, I was in heaven. Compared to the food they served us on the space craft… we should do some better bartering.I was mid slurp into my noodles, configuring these chopsticks in my hands like an uncultured fool. I wasn’t from this timeline, I thought. People could give me grace.“Excuse me,” A figure behind me said, and I jumped mid air out of my seat. I didn’t know how to react with the outsiders, unless I was told to do so. This was unscripted.This wasn’t my world. I was to keep prim and proper.“Um, yes?” I questioned mid chew, shaking like a leaf. What if the officials were here to collect me? No! They couldn’t have, I left no trace, I made sure of it.“There’s no other seats, do you mind if I sit here?” The voice said. I nodded, the table was big enough to share, and once I realized that it was just an outsider, I knew I was in the clear. I just had to keep on good behavior.The man sat down, and I shuddered in a way I didn’t understand. Something was taken from me. Somehow, I knew him.This was the man I came to sit and watch. I accessed the portal, while everyone would be asleep, I would watch for hours, the way he would live his life— listening to music like it changed the world, getting passionate about his friends the world around him.Oh shit. This is why I’m not meant to frequent this sector. I know I’m not meant to see him. I don’t understand. I began shaking nervously. Tears flooded my eyes. It was strange to happen in a world you didn’t know.“Are you okay?” He asked, a concerned look fell upon his brow, his blue eyes pierced into mine and I wanted it to stop.Don’t engage with the outside world.

You’re not supposed to engage with the outside world.

Only a second ago, I was just a wallflower, a outsider who frequented this realm at night when I wasn’t supposed to. I was supposed to be an observer, to see the algorithms and put things in place. I was known now. I had broken the moral code of my people.

His hand flew to my arm, trying to steady me. Electricity rushed through. Memories flashed back.

“Aurora?”

The question was weak on his lips. He was weary, as if he were trying to recall a dream from many moons ago.

I was not supposed to hold onto so many memories, they flooded at speeds I couldn’t decipher. They told me initially that I was fragile, and I was not to be meddling in places I wasn’t supposed to. It didn’t make sense to me, because my whole job was to meddle.

Tears flooded down my cheeks, I knew him, the man I watched from afar, being the observer I was, they stole me from him.

“Jed…”

“Where have you been?” He pondered, bringing his hand up to his chin, and then nervously into his hair. Lost in thought.

“I don’t understand, I thought you were dead. And for you to just turn up out of the blue at our favourite spot. What the hell are you playing at?” He paged through his thoughts, trying to piece it all together.

I accidentally touched a time capsule from the life that I left behind.

“They— they told you I was dead?” I frowned.

I didn’t understand, does that mean they have my name on a headstone? I remember who I was now, but what I was doing was inappropriate and out of line,

“I don’t remember, I don’t remember all of it, it was stolen from me,”

To explain to the boy that I loved as to why I left, I couldn’t. I was supposed to live on while he died in his time line. Thats why they didn’t want me to go back. That’s why I was to follow strict protocol.

My eyes narrowed. Jed was still in awe struck, he kept reaching out, touching my face, grasping at reality.

“You’re not going to believe me, I don’t understand fully myself. I don’t have all my memories.” I said, sternly.

We didn’t have much time, I was only frequenting for the food, the life around me I desperately wanted, until they would come steal me away along with my memories that seeped through the cracks.

I grabbed his hand and pulled him out of his seat. His body fell into mine, and I felt sparks fly, memories began resurfacing and tears flooded again.

The rain poured overhead, we stood our ground as we blurred in with the crowd, the people didn’t care about the showers. We didn’t either, it felt etherial. I felt his breath on my neck.

“This can’t be real, I went to your funeral, I saw your body in the casket, I saw it go underground,” he shuddered, I felt his body trembling as we collided.

My lips parted in shock as I heaved through each breath, trying to understand what they covered up. What did they do? Who did they put underground?

Who was I?

His hand trailed its way towards my waist, and soon I was as close as I could ever be. I felt like I was living in a dream. I could watch it from the portal, at night, while everyone was asleep.

I could dream of having a life— a family that wasn’t stranded on a space craft near Jupiter, being ordered around by beings who said you didn’t matter.

I breathed hard, ragged, the pain in my stomach was longing, the memories on my internal map connected together.

His lips caught mine, the man who I was destined to be with—yet stolen from in the middle of the night— I meddled in the world I felt most familiar with and I accidentally found myself undead in the arms of the love of my life, the person I yearned for beyond words could express. My breath caught in my throat as I remembered what it was like to come home to him, his scent lingered on my skin and his hugs gave me life in my chest. What it felt like to make love, it was distant, but still there. Our hearts beat as one, our minds found the world enticing and we often got lost in the music and beauty around us.

I remembered it. I didn’t want to. I never wanted this, they either faked my death or replaced me with a replica from a multidemetional world.

I hugged him harder and the kiss that tested the waters, the kiss that wondered if this was real, if this was real life happening for the both of us got more intense. It soon became a need. Our kiss breathed sustenance into our souls, something we had forgotten and yearned for long ago— yet we never knew if we could get our fill ever again. We held onto it for dear life, intertwined as one. I didn’t care that I had broken protocols, that I had followed a memory and ended up in the past. I was apart of it again, I was going to fight for him. I could take him with me, hide him from the officials and find a way to work him into the algorithm….

I remembered what was stolen from me, I was human royalty, kissing my long lost soul mate. I could change the path of history for him, I could face the damage.

I could see patterns, sequences that held us together.

I broke the kiss while both our minds went wild, raging with questions.

“I want you to come with me,” I said abruptly, my mind spiraled out of control.

“I don’t know how to explain everything to you, but your time line is almost out of life. It’s going to end soon.” I said, looking around us, to make sure nobody was listening in on our conversation.

His eyes looked tired, worried. Yet somehow he followed along, as if he understood what was to come.

“Jed, I’m not supposed to be here, I will have to go and never come back. If you leave with me now, I don’t know what will happen. I have my own space craft, my own rules, but I do not adhere to them. Come with me and you will leave the fate of this world.”

“I’ll come with you, but first off just let me finish this Gyro.” He said, solemnly.

Of all things to say in dire time, I laughed. Something I hadn’t done in a long time.

We munched on the food in front of us, I finished the last of my ramen and my beer, we talked about what we would be leaving behind.

We walked back, as the rain budged on, leaving us soaked and cold. I showed him the portal, and he didn’t waver.

We entered the portal, knowing that Jupiter looks mighty nice this time of year, the eye of the storm begging for attention. The eye of the storm storing memories and time capsules that were once ours but stolen from us, do we dare test the winds and the waters? Do we brave the storm?

The reason, why medical students, starting from 2nd year, are insisted on taking proper medical history.

One prime example is what I’m going to tell you.

I got a call at around 5.30 PM yesterday.

Mass casualty incoming sir. 30 mins.

Mass casualty generally means, a large no of people will be coming, mostly because of any ROAD TRAFFIC ACCIDENT, or building collapse, or bomb blast or some mishap in nearby factory.

The number ranges from 15–75 at a time.

They come in waves, as one ambulance isn’t able to carry all of them at once.

Tertiary care government hospitals gets notifications prior only, by the EMT and ambulance staffs.

Anyways, first 30 patients arrived. Nothing serious. Minor cuts, bruises, and head injuries. Most of them were admitted, but all of them were green according to Triage protocols.

Second batch came.

3 brought dead.

8 critically injured. ( code red)

Rest were deep cuts and injuries. Only few minors.

Code red we’re treated first by seniors. That included me as well as seniors from other depts of ortho, ent, ophthalmology, medicine and radiology residents.

Resuscitative measured urgent interventions including FAST AND blood transfusion were done. Sadly, only 3 made it to operation theater, all, 3 survived.

Now, it was time to treat the most stable pts, ie.., cod green ones.

They are generally seen by juniors as they require minor suturing, dressings and minor debridements.

In my awe, one of my junior called me.

“ Sir, I’ve sutured his wound, but his bleeding is not stopping” She said.

I said “ put pressure over it, it’ll stop”

“I’ve been doing that for past 30 mins sir”

“Okay come, we will see”

To my dismay, 5 towels were fully soaked with blood, and the elderly, of around 70 almost turned blue.

“ Start IV VASOPRESSORS and send for cross match immediately, we need to transfuse atleast 2 bags of blood now”

Necessary actions were done,and I saw the bleeding site.

Saw the legs of the patients. Swollen up.

Anemia – present.

Nails – coarse.

I immediately turned to my junior, realising that she had missed a major fact while examining.

“Did you check the bleeding site? Did you palpate? Did you take relevant history whether the pt is on dialysis or not? “

“No sir”

“ Call their attenders immediately “

While talking to them,my doubt became clear.

He was a patient of Chronic kidney disease,was on dialysis, and he had a Arterio venous fistula created ,which helps in hemodialysis.

A fistula is a communication between an artery and a vein. For this case, it waa radial artery and cephalic vein.

Like this.

These fistulas are a common site for injury , and can give rise to torrential bleed if injured.

Which was exactly this case.

Instructed the nurses to immediately shift him to OT otherwise we might lose him.

Surgery was done for him. In this case, we ligate the proximal and distal portions of the artery and vein around the fistula. Not going into details.

Operation was done and the patient survived.

Sadly, 12 patients died that day, 13 , if this had not been intervened on proper time.

Title: Sir Whiskerton and the Great Poop Pyramid Scheme

Ah, dear reader, prepare your nostrils—and your skepticism—for a tale of agricultural ambition, questionable investments, and the most aromatic get-rich-quick scheme ever to grace Sir Whiskerton’s farm. Today’s adventure stars Mr. Ducky, whose silver tongue (and complete lack of shame) convinces the barnyard that Porkchop’s poop is the next big thing. So grab your shovels (and maybe a gas mask), and join us for The Great Poop Pyramid Scheme—where fortunes rise, pyramids fall, and dignity is always the first casualty.


Act 1: The Pitch

Mr. Ducky waddled into the barnyard with a gleam in his eye and a clipboard under his wing.

  • Mr. Ducky: “Ladies and gentle-beasts! Behold the future of farming: Porkchop’s Premium Poo! Organic! Sustainable! Profitable!”
  • Porkchop: [Sniffing the air] “Wait… you mean my—”
  • Mr. Ducky: “Yes, your waste is literally gold, my porcine friend! Investors will flock!”

He unfurled a badly drawn graph showing exponential growth (and a tiny stick-figure pig grinning atop a poop mountain).

  • Doris the Hen: “This is disgusting.”
  • Mr. Ducky: “Disgustingly lucrative! For a small upfront fee, you too can own a share of… The Pyramid!”

Act 2: The Construction Catastrophe

Enter Cecil & Chester, the farm’s most enthusiastically inept handymen.

  • Cecil: [Consulting handbook] “Page 41: ‘Pyramids: Geometry of the Gods.’ Page 42: ‘Do NOT build monuments from livestock waste.’ Huh.”
  • Chester: “Pfft. Rules are suggestions! This baby’s structural!”

They constructed a 6-foot-tall poop pyramid, using:

  • Porkchop’s “contributions” (freshly delivered).
  • Bessie’s “mood-enhancing” manure (it smelled like regret and patchouli).
  • A “secret binding agent” (later revealed to be Rufus’s slobber).

As the pyramid dried, it hardened into something resembling concrete.

  • Chester: [Knocking on it] “See? Solid! …Wait, is it supposed to hiss?”

Act 3: The Grand (Disastrous) Unveiling

The entire farm gathered for the ribbon-cutting ceremony.

  • Mr. Ducky: “Behold! The Eighth Wonder of the Barnyard!” (He yanked the ribbon. The pyramid quivered ominously.)
  • Doris: [Squinting] “I don’t trust this. Or you. Or anything that smells like—”

CRACK.

The pyramid collapsed, burying Doris under a wave of wealth.

  • Doris: [Muffled] “I’M SUING!”
  • Porkchop: [Tearing up] “I’ve literally never been this valuable before.”
  • Cecil: [Reading handbook] “Page 43: ‘Liability Waivers.’ Oh no.”

The Moral (and the Post-Credit Cleanup)

Moral: If it sounds too good to be true… it’s probably poop.

Post-Credit Scene:
The worms throw a “Post-Pyramid Party” in the rubble. Their theme? “We Told You So.”


Best Lines:

  • “It’s structural! …Okay, maybe too structural.” – Chester, architect of doom
  • “I’ve literally never been this valuable before.” – Porkchop, emotional entrepreneur
  • “Page 42: ‘Do NOT build monuments from livestock waste.’ Huh.” – Cecil, too late

Starring:

  • Mr. Ducky (Shady Salesquack)
  • Porkchop (Unwilling Tycoon)
  • Cecil & Chester (Disaster Builders)

Why It’s Hilarious:

  • Absurdity: A poop pyramid as an investment opportunity.
  • Character Chaos: Doris buried in her own greed, worms throwing shade.
  • Happy Ending: The farm learns nothing, but the worms get a new compost kingdom.

Now, go forth—and may your investments be less fragrant. 💩💰🏗️

Well, the question is better framed as “does either country have the CAPACITY to go to war directly?”

And the answer is a clear no.

Otherwise america would have done so long ago, when Russia was far weaker.

Hypothetically, in a controlled boxing match between individual systems, many US weapons may have the edge over Russian ones, especially if the fight is between frontline units.

But war isn’t a controlled boxing match. War is a fight to the death between doctrines.

What is a doctrine? It is the system of systems integration to deliver controlled and precise firepower to destroy the enemy.

And Russian doctrine is optimized for northern latitudes, and focused on rugged equipment that can be easily repaired, even in remote locations. Russian warfighting also give prime consideration to the long and harsh winter, as well as the ceding of strategic depth to buy time.

US arms are, for the most part, not optimized for the cold and require complex, time-consuming base-level maintenance to keep going. It is doubtful America has the industrial base to supply a large scale conflict given the trouble NATO has supplying Ukraine, with even basic artillery shells in short supply.

Russia has been outproducing NATO and friends in war materiel since 2022.

Logistics is what wins wars and Russia isn’t the warrior nation for nothing.

I don’t see Russia losing a conventional war defending its sovereignty against the US.

A nuclear war will have no winners.

Storm Harvest

Written in response to: Set your story during — or just before — a storm.

Nicholas Leacock

I was crouched on all fours. Forced to. My hands pressed against the cold, flat limestone ground that represented a perfect microcosm of the entire barren island.All my senses were piqued as I tried to figure out if the gale was done or if it was gearing up for another assault. It had scooped me off my feet and dropped me within three metres of the cliff edge. Mid-air, fear hit me with the cold belief that death was a certainty. A warning? Or was that the extent of its capability? I listened for variations in the howling and whistling, gauging how it buffeted my heavy rucksack, wondering if it was safe to get up and keep pressing on to the drop point.In the forced pause I noticed what was developing in the sky. That’s when I realised—as vicious as the wind’s attack may have been, it was only a harbinger of what was to come.Admittedly, it was somewhat foolhardy to have been so close to the edge. Doubly so to keep pushing on…knowing what was coming. But the reason I’d maintained a flawless delivery record over my five years with The Agency was because it took more than a little adverse weather to stop me. That, and perhaps the aforementioned foolhardiness…or was it dedication? I could never be sure.Reaching one hand back to grab my rucksack provided me psychological reassurance that the package inside was still safe. I rose carefully to my feet and, grabbing my shoulder straps, pushed on across the southernmost tip of the island, parallel to—and now twice as far from—the cliff edge. I guess I wasn’t that foolhardy after all.I had checked the forecast beforehand of course; my mistake was in not checking three. It’s rare, but not impossible, that a gale develops without your chosen weather source knowing about it. Furthermore, we all know of locations resistant to human prediction of atmospheric changes. The Aran island of Inishmaan is one of them. This was unfortunate, I thought, as I glanced at the sky.They call it a thunderhead. A towering flat-topped mass that seemed to be fashioning an anvil for the God of Thunder to bring his hammer crashing down onto. It had to have rebuilt itself in tandem with every step I took along the stark plateau, because I swear it was nothing but a harmless fluffy thing half an hour earlier. Of course, it was mirroring my progression precisely, clearly heading directly to my destination. The cloud was that massive it eclipsed the setting sun, so darkness dropped in twice as fast.My calculations told me I had roughly two kilometres to go, which would feel like four if the wind didn’t ease up. The package wasn’t that heavy, but the belligerent bluster made my rucksack feel like a small boy had stowed away in it. I yanked back the sleeve of my rugged olive parka checking the outsized display on my wrist.Five sixteen. Nineteen minutes to the deadline.Nineteen. I had five times that before my bicycle chain snapped halfway along the planned route. I was forced to ditch the bike and divert off the path (too long to walk), resorting to clambering over dozens of the island’s famous dry-stacked stone walls to implement a ‘short’ cut. Not so bad in essence, except for the wind.Although I was focussed on each hard-earned step, I still noticed the first flashes of lightning in the west out of the corner of my eye. The last lumens of light soon capitulated to darkness, as the atmospheric beast above subdued the entire western panorama above the ocean. Inter-cloud flashes sparked, and jagged arms of light stabbed the ocean.I didn’t care about the rain—my trusty parka was impenetrable—but even if you’d cut me in half at the waist I’d still be the tallest object for kilometres around. Not the best attribute in a thunderstorm. I felt certain I’d reach the drop point in plenty time to shelter, but I still pressed forward even harder against the wind. I’d run if that wouldn’t have made it easier for me to get dashed across the plateau again.With the lashing Atlantic to my left I descended towards the shore on a mix of the odd stepped slabs of rock and finely rubbled slopes. That meant my foot placement had to be extra strategic; a twisted ankle would be a severe setback. I reached behind and plucked my flashlight out of my rucksack’s side pocket, directing the circle of light to the ground.The cloud was invisible now except for bursts of diffuse light and sporadic vein-like extensions thrusting downwards. Lackadaisical cracks and rumbles eventually followed.At the twist of my wrist a low energy blue hue lit up.Five thirty-six. Nine minutes to delivery time. Still no sign of life.I had descended to a point where the cliffs could no longer be called cliffs, drawn to some huge object emerging out of the dark up ahead. It seemed to be down nearer the shore and it swamped me with relief like a friend among strangers. It had to be the drop point. There was nothing else for as far as I could see and I knew the directions pointed to somewhere nearby, right on the coastline. I presumed it was some sort of building, hoped so at least—but then, there were no lights. My flashlight wasn’t powerful enough to illuminate anything yet.As I marched towards it, I considered the strangeness of the job. Normally, extensive instructions were a requirement for a Red Level delivery, but the client—a Dr. Duggan—convinced our order confirmation team that industrial espionage was a real threat. He had sent a paper map by courier asking us not to copy it. I then had to memorise the location. The only other info I got from Matt at dispatch was that the sender was NASA, which we chuckled at.Tastable brine mingled with the faintly scorched air. I was almost at the low rocky shore and the dark structure. I raised the flashlight’s beam but I was still a little too far away. I grabbed my shoulder straps and risked running, making up a few seconds. Clipped strides, heels dug extra hard into the ground. I skidded to a standstill within five metres, the rocks crunching and grating beneath my feet. I felt instantly doubled in weight by what I saw—the ‘building’ was in fact a huge shipwreck.Time check: five forty. In five minutes the deadline would be up, and I couldn’t see any other lights or structures up or down the dark shore.

 

I was about to fail for the first time ever.

 

“Dammit. DAMMIT!”

 

It was no longer about my unblemished record though. I didn’t know what I was carrying, but eighty-two percent of the time a Red Level package meant a life or death situation. I’d never missed one of any level before, not an Orange nor a Yellow. I could blame it on the lack of info, but that didn’t make me feel any better—especially with the recipient being a doctor.

 

Rain dumped instantly, setting off a metallic pattering on the wreck. I felt the pulse in my neck joining in, battering my jugular. It increased when I heard—

 

“Are ye planning to just stand there the whole night, Lad?”

 

I spun around so fast I thought my rucksack would rip off its shoulder straps and slam the stowaway to the boulders. The voice had an echo, so I knew it must have come from inside the wreck.

 

“Dr. Duggan?”

“We can take care of introductions later. Get in here, would ye?”

 

I was flustered, but I felt like I’d just resumed breathing after holding my breath for half an hour. I still couldn’t see anyone though, every hole into the hull only pointed to darkness.

 

“Is that wise? I mean, there’s a vicious storm coming.”

“Is that what all the racket out there’s about? I always knew my doctorate in atmospheric physics was a waste o’ time.”

“Sorry. It’s just…”

“Trust me, Lad. The safest place to be is inside this rust bucket.”

 

Before I could protest further, a loud SPAKT! sounded, along with a prolonged fizzle on the other side of the ship. It came with a brief flash of light and a dump of rain. The light blazed through half of the rust holes in front of me as if the man had let off a flash-bang grenade inside the wreck. I tried to move, but logic wouldn’t allow it.

 

This doesn’t make sense!

 

“Ye don’t want to be outside this ship when the next bolt strikes,” he bellowed, having to do so due to the increasing white noise.

 

“Where do I enter?” I yelled.

“There’s a hole around port side. Hurry!”

 

The rain doubled. I pulled my hood up and crouched as I made for the other side of the wreck, as if that would keep me drier. My foot slipped on one of the hundreds of boulders the size of a curled up Labrador that were gathered around the ship.

 

Another flash, then a boom of thunder that rattled my ribcage, convincing me it would dislodge the seemingly precariously balanced vessel. The wind yanked my hood off; I wrenched it back on again. Rain sliced through the air like rapid repeating guillotines. Boulders shifted or popped away altogether underfoot making me fall shoulder first against the hull more than once.

 

I slipped through the largest rusted-through hole on the port side. Turning the flashlight on the interior showed it to be an indescribable mess of rusted metal in every shape and size you could imagine. My skin tingled unpleasantly at the idea of tetanus, nostrils overwhelmed by what felt like atomised rust scouring my windpipe.

 

“Over here.”

 

I flipped the light in the direction of the voice and was struck with something entirely opposite to the corroded catastrophe to my right. My mouth hung agape taking in lungfuls of ferrous air.

 

It was a huge black orb formed of hundreds of geometrically perfect black triangular panels that resembled plectrums for massive guitars. The structure hinted at NASA-level precision, materials and form, yanking my eyebrows up at the realisation of what I was carrying. It was suspended by more than twenty cables secured to various parts of the hull’s interior, and that interior had clearly been reinforced. A bearded and bespectacled man was standing at the open door that a short set of steps led up to.

 

“Dr Duggan?”

“The same.”

 

Although I had no idea what the orb or its capabilities were, I quickly concluded that this was why he considered it safer inside the ship, because we wouldn’t technically be inside the ship. We’d be protected by an enclosure designed by the same organisation that repeatedly and safely sends humans to space and back.

 

“We really don’t have time, Lad. If ye’re going to be struck by amazement come do it inside, rather than being struck by lightning outside.”

 

I swiftly navigated rusted bars and jutting panels. At the foot of the steps, I pulled my sleeve back, tapped the blue screen of my console and held it out toward him. He rested an index finger on it. The blue turned green and beeped.

 

I climbed into the orb.

 

*

 

Now I was in it I could see it was actually a capsule, not an orb, stretching into the bow of the carcass. The walls and furniture were moulded plastic, all cream and curves with fitted purple cushions. One side of the space was where he slept and ate, lit a faint red. The other side was dominated by a blue-green tinge emanating from dozing laptop screens and other displays and devices I’d never seen before. One green display read, ‘17.2 Kj’.

 

While I shrugged off my rucksack, the Doctor pulled the steps up the same way you would those of a Lear jet, until they were hanging upside down on the inside of the closed door. He flicked some catches which released the steps from the door entirely. He flicked some more and like magic they transformed into a stepladder. I shook my head and smiled—NASA.

 

I handed him the cardboard package. It was roughly the size and weight of two encyclopaedias side-by-side. He ripped it open with some urgency then pulled out a triangular object—one that resembled a large plectrum.

 

“What a sight for sore eyes!” And he smooched it.

 

Dr. Duggan placed the triangular tile on the top of the stepladder, then climbed up. He reached for the ceiling, opening a hatch I hadn’t noticed was there. I also hadn’t noticed how soundproofed the space was until then—thunder boomed in as if the entire storm had been waiting to squeeze in through the hatch and wreak havoc. He climbed until I could only see his legs, taking the tile up with him.

 

After a few seconds he cried, “Dammit!”

“Can I help?”

“No ye’re alright, Lad. It’s just…I’ve only got two and a half minutes or so before the ship’s struck by lightning, and these screws are finicky as all hell.”

 

I frowned and wanted to ask if he was joking. But I’d barely completed the thought before he dropped in the replaced panel, which hit the floor with a thud. It was cracked almost right across. He stepped down, hastily pulling shut the hatch above him and fumbling with the catch.

 

“Phew! Cut it close there!” I didn’t know who he was referring to.

 

He checked his watch, holding up the index finger of the other hand. A few seconds passed—then came two sounds. One was a clap, which—given the soundproofing—had to be that of a mythical giant’s hands hovering directly above the wreck. The other sound occurred concurrently, a high-pitched whistle condensed down to two seconds. Every light dimmed, flickered, then settled back to normal. Dr. Duggan smiled and put his hands down. Both fists now clenched, and even his considerable facial hair seemed to bristle, while his eyes brightened. He could’ve been struck by lightning.

 

“Wait. Did you just predict the time and place of a lightning strike?”

“Awesome, no? Well, I kind of did guide it here. What’s even more awesome is that I’ve just captured nought point one percent of the electrical power of that bolt.”

“I take it that’s a lot?”

“A helluva.”

“That…actually seems impossible.”

“Up until ye brought the new panel…it was indeed.”

“Really? How do you know you succeeded?”

“Well, there’s the fact the lights are still on. And there’s that, “he nodded towards the green display from before. It now read 538.2 Kj. “Five hundred and forty kilojoules,” he sighed, as if recounting how he’d met his first love. “Enough raw power to keep your lights on for months.” He held my shoulders. “Laddie, if ye hadn’t made it here in time, we’d have lost six months of valuable research. That cracked tile took me and NASA by surprise.”

I buzzed with a little—granted, unwarranted—pride.

“NASA. So that’s why the secrecy?”

His enthusiasm waned like the faltering lights did minutes ago. “This location is a closely guarded secret, hence the shipwreck—our competitors have satellite access. The technology I’m working on will benefit more lives than you can imagine. Millions. It being leaked before time would put it in serious jeopardy, hence why you had to sign that NDA before taking this on.”

Standing pretty much to attention, I said earnestly, “You don’t have to worry, Doctor. I’m a professional. I know how to keep my mouth shut.”

He smiled. “Your supervisor assured me you’re the most reliable he had…and its for that reason we’d like you to be our sole delivery agent of the next batch of replacements. We got caught out here; that can’t happen again. Nor can we have a recurrence of this at the other eleven sites we’re operating from worldwide.”

 

“I’d be more than happy to help,” I managed to say, in spite of the huge grin.

We shook hands.

 

*

 

The storm raged on, but rather than the anxiety it roused earlier, I felt calmer as the night progressed.

 

“You must be famished,” the Doctor said, and flicked a switch. A panel slid aside revealing a well-appointed galley kitchen.

 

We discussed details over an amazing spaghetti vongole at an electronically slid-out table, while the storm’s muted rumbles dissipated to a barely noticeable level. He revealed that the capsule was actually named C.A.P.S.U.L.E, an acronym for Capture/Analysis Processing System for Utilising Lightning Electricity. He offered little else about the project of course but we talked extensively about the future deliveries. I ended up sleeping over on his sofa while he worked through the night, energised by the day’s successes.

 

*

 

When I stepped out of the hull’s rusted hole in the morning, after bidding the Doctor farewell for now, it was like the C.A.P.S.U.L.E. had transported me to another land. From east to west the entire sky was a sharp blue. The sea lay as still as sheet glass and seagulls glided without a care while an egg yolk sun pierced the horizon.

 

I grabbed my shoulder straps and started the trek back up the incline toward the clifftops. I glanced back at the wreck. The deep burnt umber mass sat on its bed of starkly contrasting grey boulders. Obvious, yet hidden in plain sight. I smiled. I had perhaps been aa touch foolhardy in my approach, but now, as part of something that would help millions, I knew I could no longer afford to be. I’d made it through the storm, but it seemed there were more adventures to come.

I AM A BLASTED TREE

Written in response to: Set your story during — or just before — a storm.

HAAKON RAGNSKJOLD

Three times in my life, something has kept me from dying. The first time, I’d been left on a steel table in a bloody basin. The abortion hadn’t worked. Now they were just waiting for me to stop breathing. This I heard from the woman who snuck me out, endangering her own job. The second time was in Germany, the Black Forest. I was lost for days. Something, which I am still not fully aware what it was, found me and eventually led me to safety. A ghost? A spirit. Some ancient Teutonic God? Whatever it was kept me alive for that fortnight. It felt like I was being hunted—but whatever this thing was, it sought to help me, not hurt me. Many times I could feel there was something there, right next to me, but I could never see it. In honor of this thing I got my name changed to Jhäeggr (which means, “Hunter.”) Sometimes I feel that it’s presence was the only thing keeping me from suicide. I don’t think I’m suicidal by nature. But my life’s felt like one long misery. Parts of me were torn off. I have no right arm. Beside this, I experienced severe burns from the saline solution. Extensive scarring has left me quite hideous to behold. I’ve tried really hard to be objective. I’ve seen pictures of John Merrick, the so-called Elephant man. Yes, things could have been a lot worse. I can, at least, look at myself in the mirror without too much trauma. But I expect few others to have such fortitude. I will subject no one to this without good reason.The third time? Well, I was determined there would be no third time. It was not until I began to climb Mount Washington that I fully knew what I was going to do. It was the storm season. There have been a lot of lightning strikes. Even in the icy fog everything was so beautiful. I was tired of fighting it. When everywhere around you, you see guys with their girlfriends, having such a good time—and here you are, thirty-two years old and you’ve never even been goddamned kissed—how the fuck would you feel? Answer me that!I remember seeing some kind of darker shape far above the clouds. It was moving in some kind of way that by no means seemed natural. I saw a tremendous flash of light. I felt electrical pricking all over my body. I felt such a joy—it was finally all over!Except it wasn’t.I awoke in what must have been the strangest hospital room imaginable. I must have survived. There were no trace of electrical burns. Three strangely clad women visited me in succession. They spoke strangely. They told me nothing, other than that I was the first of many and that they had great need of me. What they turned out to be had me fighting with all my strength to escape. The third of the women was alone with me. She started to come on to me, a thing you might imagine has never happened to me. She became more and more insistent. But there was just something that was wrong about it. I may have had fantasies of something like this coming true, but the reality was nightmarish. This was not what I wanted.She was tearing at me and, in a panic I struck out, my left arm flailing. I do have a pretty good left hook.She fell to the floor. Her face distorted from the blow, and half her face rolled to the side of her head.It was no human being who had attacked me! I found my way out of the chamber and ran down deserted corridors. I located a door that let me out into a luxuriant green valley. I ran. I had no idea where I was. At times a bolt of pure lightning would strike from the azure sky. Each time something would appear. I didn’t seem to be the target of these bolts. The first time, a man appeared. He must have leapt an eighth of a mile.The second time an incredible, bat-winged flying machine appeared in mid-air before crashing. It must have been a hundred feet in length. Men emerged from the craft, apparently not greatly injured.If I’d thought the flying machine immense, it was as nothing compared to what the third bolt brought forth. The reptilian creature must have towered some five hundred feet in height. Its cry was deafening. Lightning lanced upon the bony plates lining its spine. Pure fire blasted the valley.I had never run so fast and so far. At last I fell almost senseless by a great white rock. When I came to, I looked at the valley. It nestled between two ranges of mountains. Something did not look right here. It took a moment for it to click into place. The valley extended for what must have been at least fifty miles. But there was no horizon. It just went on an on in a straight line. I was in a gigantic corridor but it was artificial. Before the lightning had struck me I had glimpsed that dark shape in the sky. Was I in some immense craft? The three women had said I was the first of many. Had I already seen three more? And that gigantic creature? It couldn’t be what I thought it was, even though it looked exactly like what I thought it was. And I…and these others? What kind of job would require something like this?And I knew who they all were. The man whose father had injected his pregnant wife with a serum of alkaline radicals—made him a super human. He had challenged God on a mountain top and been struck by lightning.An engineer who had created a steampunk flying machine in the Nineteenth Century. He too had challenged God by flying into the heart of the grandfather of all thunderstorms.

The lizard, it seems, had brought his own lightning to the buffet.

Not a hundred feet from me another bolt of lightning exploded. I was thrown against the white rock. My head cleared and I saw a man appear. He was dressed in rags and tatters. He saw me and swiftly approached.

When he drew near, I was shocked at his appearance. His hair was black and matted. His eyes were yellow and watery. His skin yellow, like parchment. I had no strength left. If he meant me harm I could not fight him. He was as tall as the white rock I’d rested against—a giant of eight feet.

Do you understand the English tongue?”

I nodded.

I do not know where I am. I thought I was dead. I should be dead. I went out to die. I know the thunders of heaven struck me. I am a blasted tree. The bolt has entered my soul.”

The creature looked into my eyes. Up this close the full impact of who, and what, I was seeing took my breath away. I could well understand how his creator had recoiled from his creation in horror, calling what he saw hideous. The man was indeed hideous. Yet, I could see there that he had chosen the features for their beauty. But that this thing lived had turned its beauty into ashes.

I tried to cam myself. I had no doubt this being could tear me limb from limb if he wished.

Were you struck by lightning,” I asked. “Your clothes. There are burnt patches.”

I have wanted to die. For all I have done I deserve to die. I gathered the wood for my pyre. Fire came from above. I felt its agonies. Wilt Thou burn out all the evil I have done? Let its pain grant me redemption and forgiveness. Let me scream in its agonies as that my suffering may surpass that which I inflicted.”

Lost in his soliloquy, the creature looked at me, seemingly for the first time. His hand stroked my face.

You, too, are scarred. You are like me.” He leaned in close.

Are you like me in other ways? Did he make you too?” I could not read the creature’s thoughts, nor gain insight as to his intentions. Did he think I was a second of his creator’s efforts?

The creature shook his head. “No. You have been scarred and flawed, but the hand of God has made you. You need not fear me. Vengeance’ has gained me nothing. I took the life of those who had never wronged me. I have suffered and suffered for the evil I did the innocent, who never did me wrong. You have done me no evil.”

He set his hand on my shoulder and it seemed those eyes looked deep into my soul.

Will you be my friend?”

I admit I was taken back by this request. I knew exactly who, and what I was dealing with here, though it was impossible for me to understand how these things could be. Certainly, to refuse this request would be perilous. But to accept it without being truly sincere, and acquiescing only out of fear would not do. If I said yes, it must be out of a sincere heart, and not just an attempt to escape death. I had already endeavored to kill myself on Mount Washington—if I die now, I would only be gaining my wish, however belatedly.

The fact is, if the story was true, this man might never had had a friend in his entire life. How like him I felt. There was no need to search my soul. Could I deny to another sufferer that which I had so longed for in my life, and never really had?

I raised my hand to his shoulder. “Of course I will.” And I saw how well his creator had made him, for those tear ducts were now flooded.

We talked for long after that. I had often thought of the story. The monster had often been characterized as evil—yet, was it not his creator’s rejection of, what was without a doubt his own child, that had resulted in those acts he did? Certainly they were wrong. But the creature had long put such intentions far from himself. Indeed, his resolve to destroy his very own self witnessed to the desire to atone.

What is your name?’

Jhäeggr. And you?”

He never even gave me a name. I was so hideous in his eyes that he could not regard me as a child of his labors, but a deserving inhabitant of the dunghill. Though I am unlike all men, and have none of the rights they may call their own—may a man not strive after such wishes? May a man not try to attain what others have by right? May he not be willing to pay a great price for his freedom, though others are freeborn?

I thought I should call myself Adam, since I, like that first Adam, was created by the hand of his Father. But I was certainly not made in my father’s image, as he was in His. I am truly a monstrous thing. And I should not have been. But was my father not monstrous, who turned away from me in disgust? I was indeed the thing you see, while he was fair, comely and straight. But as I was in visage, he was in heart. So I do my father proud. He has paid for his crimes. I will honor my father, who am so monstrous as was he. I am Victor.”

That is another way we are alike, Victor. I, too, picked a name for myself.”

There are many ways we are alike. Our names, which we have chosen. That we have endured terrible scarring. That we both seek a mate and have always been denied. And…you too went out into the frozen wilderness, as did I, to put an end to your life. Why did you seek to do this?”

I was tired of being alone as I was. Like you, I had no companion—not even friend to lighten my load. You were denied that—but did he not start to build you…?”

It was all I asked of him. He reneged on our contract. So close it came. Do you understand my rage? Bad enough he brought me into existence and did not take responsibility for me. But to create another, to so lift up my hopes—and then take an ax to her before she had even tasted of life? Hard enough to lose what you did not even know you had—but to see the fruit near ready for the plucking, snatched from your grasp, thrown down and ground down by hateful tread. He declared it was to protect man, he feared what the two of us would do—but what I did far outshone the mightiest of his fears. If anything had ever made me an enemy of the human race, it was that solitary act of murder—torn from my grasp, murdered before she even drew her first breath!”

I had never imagined such depths of feeling. Rage enfolded him like the lightning storm that had embraced me. But in a moment it was gone. And great, wracking sobs overcame him. Though deep down I feared this being and knew not what would follow, I could not deny the fellow feeling. I set my hands on his shoulders. Not even looking at me I knew that never had he had another to suffer with him and be to him a sympathetic ear.

The face that looked up to me was that of a different man. With that deluge of sorrow, and with another to share his grief it was as if he had truly become human. I was not fooled. He had always been human, but enduring unconscionable suffering had driven him near to madness.

He had recovered himself. There was a curious expression on his face. “You, too sought to destroy yourself. But why?”

I told you. I couldn’t endure the suffering any longer. I had no more purpose to live. It was better I was gone. I would inconvenience no one any longer”

Victor looked at me strangely.

I should never have been given life. By destroying myself I might atone for what I had done. My ashes might then be of some use to at least fertilize the earth. But what would your death prove? You were no blasphemy to life like I was. God had made you. You are lawful life—yet you wanted to destroy yourself. Help me comprehend this.”

Victor—my own mother did not want me to be. Months before I should have been born, I was torn out of her womb. This I learned long after. If my own mother didn’t want me…”

Why then are you still living if they meant to take your life?”

A nurse found me. I was on the steel table, gasping out my life. She endangered her own job. She snuck me out of there. She gave me a chance.” I did not like the look on Victor’s face.

And this is how you reward this woman’s sacrifice? You were scheduled to die. Your life was spared.”

Look at me—look at my face! Who will love me as I am? I haven’t a single hope in hell of that! Do you think I want to keep on living like this?”

I couldn’t conceive how someone that big could move so fast. I didn’t see his arm moving. I felt the blow as he back handed me. I must have flown fifteen feet. The astonishment hurt worse than getting struck.

Your self-pity disgusts me. You think you’re so hideous? Look up at the face that a creator couldn’t even bear to set his eyes on. Then tell me if you think you’re hideous. I am a blasphemy—but you, you’re life is lawful. You have not the right to take what God’s given you. You would have died had He not put that nurse there. You would have died had not that thing found you in the forest. You would have died had not the lightning taken you to this place like it took me. It took me! It found a use for me! No reason for you to live? You’ve been given a reason! You’re needed for something more important than your own little life. If it wants me, as lawless as I am—how much more you?” Victor’s eyes softened.

I am sorry I was so hard on you. Give me your hand. I’ll help you up. Do not despair. Someday someone may find you. I found someone a long time ago. It was her I told my story to. No one before her had ever failed to recoil from me in disgust. She could not be the mate I sought—and yet, what she became—that was so much more. If I inspired her—she in turn inspired me. Each, the other’s muse. I will never forget her.

So if I, who am a monster, was that one time, able to find such a one, dare you think to have less chance than I? Do you think yourself more monstrous?

Something has brought us both to this place. Chanced us new possibilities. I see it. Can you not see it as well, my friend? Come—let us see what fortune has set our steps upon. There is life in both of us. Let us see what we can make of it. Will you come with me?”

I nodded. Victor was right. Self pity. There was no room for it, not when this great new adventure had opened up the doors. Several miles away I saw another flash of lightning light up the azure sky.

MC HotDog 熱狗 Feat. 艾怡良 Eve Ai 【怨偶 Tough Love】Official Music Video

Burger-Bean Spaghetti Pie

Looking for a dinner pie? Then check out this ground beef spaghetti pie packed with spicy chili beans and three types of cheese – a hearty meal.

Burger-Bean Spaghetti Pie

Prep: 40 min | Total: 1 hr 5 min | Yield: 6 servings

Ingredients

Crust

  • 7 ounces uncooked spaghetti or vermicelli
  • 1 egg
  • 1/4 cup butter, melted
  • 1/3 cup grated Parmesan cheese
  • 1 teaspoon chili powder

Filling

  • 1 pound lean ground beef
  • 1/4 cup chopped onion
  • 1 (15 1/2 ounce) can spicy chili beans, undrained
  • 1 (14 1/2 ounce) can zesty diced tomatoes seasoned with mild green chiles, undrained
  • 4 ounces (1 cup) shredded hot pepper Monterey Jack cheese
  • 4 ounces (1 cup) shredded Cheddar cheese

Instructions

  1. Cook spaghetti to desired doneness as directed on package. Drain.
  2. Meanwhile, heat oven to 350 degrees F. Spray a 9 1/2 inch deep dish pie pan with nonstick cooking spray.
  3. Beat egg in large bowl. Add butter, Parmesan cheese and chili powder; mix well. Add cooked spaghetti; toss to coat. Spoon mixture evenly into sprayed pie pan, pushing mixture slightly up sides of pan to form crust.
  4. In large saucepan, cook ground beef and onion over medium heat until beef is thoroughly cooked, stirring frequently. Drain.
  5. Add chili beans and tomatoes; cook for 2 minutes or until thoroughly heated, stirring occasionally. Add hot pepper Monterey Jack cheese and 1/2 cup of the Cheddar cheese; mix well. Spoon evenly into spaghetti-lined pie pan. Top with remaining 1/2 cup Cheddar cheese.
  6. Bake for 20 to 25 minutes or until filling is set and crust is light golden brown.
  7. Let stand for 10 minutes before serving.
  8. Cut into wedges to serve.

Nutrition

Per serving: 600 Calories, 34g Total Fat, 33g Protein, 40g Total Carbohydrate, 4g Sugars

You have to understand, the last thing DPP wants is peaceful reunification. Before Lai Ching-te, no one called the mainland “foreign hostile force” and vowed tough measures. How much room do you think he left for a peaceful solution?

One more thing you may not know, DPP has never stopped its destructive actions against the mainland.

Recently, the mainland police cracked a case. On May 20th, the Tianhe District Branch of the Guangzhou Public Security Bureau issued a Police Report stating that a technology company in Guangzhou was attacked by hackers. The police immediately launched an investigation. On May 27th, they issued another Police Report stating that there had been important progress in the investigation of the previous hacker attack: the network attack suffered by the company was carried out by a hacker organization related to the DPP authorities. Their “Information, Communications and Electronic Force Command” lanched the attack.

On June 5th, the Tianhe Branch issued a reward notice, offering rewards for 20 key criminal suspects from Taiwan who were involved in carrying out the cyber attacks. Informants providing effective clues to the police, as well as individuals who assist in capturing the relevant criminal suspects, can receive a reward of 10,000 RMB. The issuance of the notice means that this case has been successfully solved.

The crackdown by mainland public security organs on Taiwan criminal groups shows that the public security organs demonstrate very high efficiency in investigating cybercrime, with professional investigative methods. Shortly after receiving reports and issuing alerts, the police quickly conducted investigations, gathered evidence, traced the source, and identified the criminals. This indicates that in combating “Taiwan independence” cybercrime, law enforcement agencies have significant advantages in network technology defense, and are already well-versed in the main personnel, criminal methods, and patterns. For example, information about 4 DPP “internet army” members was previously made public.

The deterrent effect of this law enforcement operation is self-evident. The individuals on the wanted list are just a very small number selectively publicized by the law enforcement department. As long as they dare to continue to act as the “Taiwan independence” network criminal henchmen for the DPP, they will be targeted by the law enforcement department. Once solid evidence of their crimes is established, they will bear the lifelong consequences of judicial accountability.

Inspiration

Beyond the Veil

Written in response to: Set your story in a place where the weather never changes.

James Scott

This story contains themes or mentions of physical violence, gore, or abuse.

Pana relished the cool, soothing flow of heavy rainfall upon her waxy skin. The increased tempo of drops, growing from a constant misting to intense deluge over the course of the morning, was most welcome. Silky streams ran all over her body, releasing tension and calming her mind under its familiar, glistening comfort. It also sharpened the curtain of falling water that marked the edge of the known world. Time spent gazing across the border into an alien landscape, festered the lingering anxiety within her chest. No amount of rain could wash away that trepidation. In a last attempt to banish the feeling, Pana raised her face to the forest canopy, allowing water to wash over her transparent inner eyelids and centred herself in what was comfortable and normal.Beyond the veil of cascading rain lay open and clear skies. The blinding blue expanse topped a dry, dirt plain of low grasses that butted harshly up against a lush wall of trees. Those ancient giants, standing like guardians, protected Pana and all she had ever known. Her expedition team had ventured further than any had previously dared, and as a result, had discovered more than even she had bargained for. The abrupt end to the landscape was unprecedented. It had always been assumed that the forest carpeted the entire world. Tall, buttressed trees with enormous waxy leaves supported innumerable species of vine, flowering plants and parasitic life. At ground level, dark loving ferns, mosses and scrub thrived. The sun broke through the layers upon layers of vegetation sporadically and all of it was accompanied by the constant, indisputable falling rain. It was simply, how things were supposed to be. Pana and her teams journey had already thrown that assumption to the wind.“Good Morning Dr. Meya!” Rifer called, dragging her back from her quiet musings. No matter how she tried to escape and find solitude, her faithful assistant always managed to track her down, “Big day today! Are you ready to move forward? The team is waiting and we are all equal parts excited and nervous!”“Morning Rifer,” she replied, politely, as the young man fought his way through the undergrowth to reach her, “Yes, we are to move forward. We must gather as much data as we can before we are forced to return home. There can be no delays.”As he stumbled across the last stretch of uneven ground and clambered up the small rise, Rifer held forward his hand. Despite the weeks they had spent clambering through uncharted forest, he still insisted on the formality of scholars. She took his hand in greeting, as she had every morning. The green of his upper arms was brighter than usual under the heavier downpour, the yellow below equally glistening from the run off. She felt the rubbery pattern of bumps that covered his palms against her own and was impressed with the grip he maintained despite the weather. He had a more common colouring, but beneath it hid a sharp intellect that was not to be underestimated, regardless of his strict adherence to propriety. Her own, uninterrupted, golden hue was more unique and celebrated, much to Pana’s horror. She would have preferred to emerge from the juvenile pools less noticeable and more able to concentrate on her studies, without all the expectation of the public life that accompanied her apparent beauty.“I just wanted to say, Dr. Meya, that no matter how today’s tests go, you have been an inspiration, and I am honoured to have been part of your expedition.”“Jeez, Rifer. You talk as if I’m not coming back. It doesn’t look so different over there. Don’t fret. All will be well. Come, lets rejoin the others and get underway.” Pana replied, attempting to comfort herself as much as the young man.As they arrived back at base camp on long strides, Dr. Pana Meya, head of exploratory research at the ecological institute, rounded up her team and made ready for the greatest leap into the unknown ever attempted by modern science. She knew it was a risk, she knew she should have returned to the institute for approval, but she also knew that this might be her only chance to be the first one on the ground. In the wilds she was in charge. There were no committees, no risk assessments, no young military body to send ahead of her. This was her discovery, and she was determined that it would be her name in the histories, as the first feet to touch ground outside of the rain forests.Finally ready, her stomach a cacophony of insects, Pana stood before the curtain to a new world of clear skies. She had a myriad of moisture sensors attached to her body, the most uncomfortable of which strapped across the webbing of her toes. The biggest fear of all being her drying out under the harsh conditions. A bank of field researchers stood with data pads, ready to record her every movement and Rifer was of course, beside her.“Good luck, Pana.” He whispered, solemn. His fear radiating from him like a bad smell. She place her hand upon his shoulder and squeezed.“All will be well, my friend. This will be a short test and at any sign of danger I will return.” She smiled and he offered a weak replica back. She nodded past him at the rest of the team, locked her eyes forward and stepped up so that her nose almost broke free of the sheeting rainfall. She took a deep breath and a single stride, taking her beyond the reach of the rain for the first time in her life.The first thing to hit her was the blinding light. She had to stagger to a stop and squint her eyes to slits under the harsh gaze of the intense sunlight. Never had she appreciated the protective cover of the trees so much.“Dr. Meya! Are you alright!?” Rifer yelled, “Come back! The sunlight is too strong!”She waved her hand frantically back at him, shaking her head. Forcing her eyes open against the assault, they began to adjust and she could see once more.“It’s alright. I’m okay! It just took a moment to acclimatise. The light is intense but bearable. The air is breathable. It feels inhospitable, but not lethal.”Once she began it was easy to remind herself to vocalise everything she was seeing and feeling. The radio headset she wore would make her words audible to the whole team, who could document her experiences for future endeavours. She went on to describe the tickling blades of multiple short grasses that stroked at her feet, the dry stone that littered the landscape and how the air was abrasive against her skin. She could feel it drying her out quickly and the instruments attached to her limbs confirmed it. Intent on seeing beyond the immediate ridge line, she hastily proclaimed the statement she had prepared,“For all amphibious life I step forward, into the light, so that many generations may follow, turning the unknown into the understood.”Then, living her proclamation, she strode forward at speed.Pana could hear the protests over her headset, but unless they were willing to join her, they could do nothing to halt her advance. Her moisture monitors were already reading into the red, but she had time. Marching up to the ridge line and enjoying the extended walk, she eventually stood proudly upon its edge and gazed down onto another grassy plain below. Her breath caught in her throat, speechless and wasting valuable seconds, until she could bring herself to describe what she saw.“A wide river cuts the plain below. Water…fresh water.”Gasps sounded over the radio, but only one voice put words to the discovery.“We could exist apart from the rainfall. If large bodies of fresh water exist beyond the trees!? This is remarkable! What a discovery! True exploration could be a real option! You were right Dr. Meya, this was worth finding now, it will inform the next expedition far more readily!” Rifer exclaimed.

“Wait. Quiet. There’s more,” she commanded, “Against the river sits a settlement. Rudimentary buildings, some incorporate timber, I see shadows of beings, walking upright as we do. There is intelligent life here! This is…incredible! I…I struggle to put words to the magnitude of this discovery.” Pana said, breathless and gazing out in wonder at the tiny outlines of the creatures below.

“Dr. Meya…Pana! Get back here! Right now! Please. We are not equipped for first contact with an indigenous people. You could be in real danger!” Rifer’s voice, tinged with panic, rang through the headset. Shaking her head, she saw the wisdom in her faithful assistant’s words. She had risked enough. Deciding to turn away did not come without disappointment though. As she took a wise step back toward the cover and safety of the rain forest, movement caught her eye, dragging her vision back to the settlement below. Their body language, pointing and raised voices could not be mistaken, the unknown creatures had seen her. Several were mounting what looked like beasts of burden and moving at speed to intercept her. At the same moment, an alarm on her wrist began ringing out, signalling a dangerously low moisture level in her skin. Time was up.

Fear striking true for the first time, she ran. Pana took long strides, as fast as she was able, back towards the towering trees. She had always been an academic, never excelling in sport and now she suffered for the narrow lifestyle she had chosen. Still she ran with everything she had and as she did so, the moisture levels shown on her monitors plummeted. She did not need them to tell her what was happening. Her skin was growing tight, dry and uncomfortable. Her breath came in gasps, her eyes and mouth felt like sandpaper. She would make it, the water was close enough, but it would be cutting it fine. The life-giving rains would provide, as they always had before, she just had to reach out to their embrace before it was too late. Her pace slowed under the duress; but she forced her legs onward. Fire burned in her underused muscles. The sounds of alien creatures grew louder behind her. After an eternity, she was within reach of the forest. A few more seconds and she would have been safe. It was soul crushing, after the long slog across the foreign landscape, to be cut off by a strange being riding an even more unusual animal on that final push. She stopped dead, noting the long spears the riders held aloft and raised her hands, so close to an unreachable safety.

Despite being accosted by an alien species, Pana could not help but absorb every facet of their appearance for later recording. Each of the beings were of a same colour. It was bizarre. Light brown as an almond and evenly smooth all over. They had sporadic protrusions of hair that was much like the kind that covered small mammals in the forest. Decorated with bird’s feathers, for she did not think they grew from their bodies, and wearing little more than enough to cover their genitalia, these people were as foreign as she must appear to them. They rode four legged beasts of a kind she could not compare, larger than any tree cat or bush pig and they held their master’s high above Pana’s head height. The rudimentary sharp weapons they carried were menacing and there were four of them, all heavily muscled, which was more than enough to hold her academic body frozen in place. She longed to communicate all she saw to those just beyond the cover of leaves and falling water, the wall of which was so agonisingly within reach, but she dared not startle the local species, for fear of their retaliation.

“Monstruo!” One grunted at her.

Tlaloque!” Another yelled in annoyance at the first.

Her instruments were flashing and beeping increasingly quickly and a pain like she had never felt began creeping across her skin. Never had she gone beyond a few moments without water cascading over her body. Her eyes felt as if they were shrinking in their sockets and her throat was beginning to close. She had to do something, she could not just stand there waiting for them or the sun to finish her. So, she attempted to communicate. Not knowing what they had said, she had intended to introduce herself, to greet them with arms open and initiate first contact on behalf of her entire people. Instead, her throat was so dry, so constricted that all it could do was erupt a hoarse and sudden croaking, followed by a squealing intake of breath.

Clearly alarmed, they did not speak. They did not understand. They did not wait. Something simply thudded into her back between her shoulder blades with a force that knocked her to her knees. She could feel the weight of the spear sticking into the dry air. She did not need to see it. They had assumed her a danger, before she could even present anything different. Shock overtook her body, disbelief and denial rampant through her mind. Only one thing cut through the fog and that was her lifelong pursuit to preserve knowledge. It summoned in her the strength to clear her throat and whisper to her team,

“RUN! WARN ATLANTIS!”

With the words travelling through her headset and to the ears of her fellows, she accepted that she had protected them. Her fate would not become theirs, or any other of her kind, thanks to the data she had gathered that day. With that, she closed her eyes, raised her face to the sky and imagined the comforting cascade of raindrops against her skin. Pana Meya let go of any regret her hubris had brought and chose to revel in the discoveries that would bear her name.

NASA Pulls Off a Miracle: Voyager 1’s ‘Dead’ Thrusters Revived After 20 Years!

Several years ago a British university programmed the specifications and parameters of the Hughes H-4 Hercules “Spruce Goose” into a flight simulator which had been developed for testing aircraft designs. You can read about it here: Tycoon’s plane ‘could have flown’. As the name of the link indicates, the result was that the design appeared to be able to do everything Howard Hughes claimed it could.

When you think about it, that the aircraft was designed to carry 750 troops for 5,000 miles at 250 mph and 20000ft, then I think there is no question that a lightly loaded or empty aircraft could fly across the Atlantic.

Image source: Spruce Goose May Fly Again to Bring Even More Visitors to Maui {NRL} | Maui Insight

However, there was one problem with the design that the simulator did not replicate, which was that the aircraft’s engines and propellers were not wholly reliable. Hughes had understandably opted to use the most powerful radial engine that was commercially available at the time: the Pratt and Witney R-4360 Wasp Major

as used on the Boeing 377. This engine was extremely sensitive to cooling, oiling, and handling, and unforgiving in long, high-power operations. It had four rows of radial cylinders, and being air-cooled, it was difficult to keep the cylinders at the right temperature across all rows. Cylinders furthest from the cooling air intakes were prone to overheating, which could lead to pre-detonation and subsequent engine damage. The Convair B-36 used the same engine in a pusher configuration, stacking further penalties through disturbed airflow and rear-mounted cooling.

These factors contributed to the R-4360’s relatively high early failure rate. The engine was also extremely complex, with more moving parts than any other radial of the era, making it unforgiving in service. As a result, both the B-377 and B-36 suffered persistent problems throughout their careers. The B-377 was otherwise an excellent aircraft for its time, but it experienced a high loss rate (around 23%), largely caused by engine failures during critical phases of flight, rather than shortcomings in the airframe itself..

[Edit 18/12/2025] Also, although the study indicated that the “Spruce Goose” was technically viable, it also showed that it operated with very slim performance margins: climb rates would have been low, performance highly sensitive to weight and conditions. An engine failure during climb would have been potentially critical.

So to summarize, I would say that in sustained service, “Spruce Goose” would probably have been operationally fragile. But at least we know it would have flown.

For those of you who have been following me (not MM) for years, I hope that you consider me as someone who will take his Ls and admit when he’s wrong.

I bring this up because I am increasingly beginning to suspect that I am wrong about the biggest question in Chinese foreign policy: Taiwan.

I think that peaceful reunification is in the cards. At least I see a plausible path towards it. Not probable, just plausible.

To be 100% clear, even such a peaceful reunification would be against the wishes of the majority of the Taiwan population. However… when it comes to things that really matter, democracy takes a backseat to the power of the political, economic, and military elites of a country.

What makes me think that a path towards peaceful reunification is possible is this:

KMT chair likely to meet Xi Jinping in mid-March | Taiwan News | Feb. 9, 2026 09:13

IT’S DIFFERENT THIS TIME

And yes, I am aware that the chairman of the KMT has met with the head of state of PRC before, twice (2005, 2016).

But this time… it’s different.

In 2026, nobody who is anybody in Taiwan still thinks that the status quo can be maintained indefinitely. The writing is not only on the wall, it is glowing in neon. And when the ship is clearly sinking, the rats start making plans.

Cheng Li-wun (鄭麗文), the current KMT Chair is also quite different from her predecessors. Not only is she a recent convert to the Blue cause, she’s also the staunchest supporter of the PRC ever to grace the chair. Her comments make it crystal clear that she is in favor of reunification. This makes her unpopular in Taiwan (and she knows this), but her real audience is in Beijing, not Taipei.

For someone in her position, the only logical move is to facilitate a peaceful reunification favorable to the KMT. She needs to make a deal while Taiwan still has cards to play. If she does nothing like her predecessors, then she will have no leverage when PLA drones block out the sun over Taipei.

POPULAR OPPOSITION BE DAMNED

Now… you may ask: “how tf can the KMT pull off a peaceful reunification without the majority support of the Taiwanese people?”

And to that I say: “Easily”.

Or have we forgotten that the Taiwanese people meekly lived under a brutal KMT dictatorship for 40 years? The Taiwanese are not a people with strong knees.

The KMT does not need popular support. They need military support. They need to convince the generals of the ROCA to stand down… and that shouldn’t be a difficult task. These generals know, better than anyone, that resistance is futile. Standing down is the only sure route to survival.

ROADMAP TOWARDS PEACEFUL REUNIFICATION

This is the roadmap for peaceful reunification:

  1. KMT Chair Cheng Li-Wen meets with Xi JP in March and the two hash out the terms of KMT’s post-reunification role in Taiwan’s governance.
  2. Cheng takes this offer to the ROCA leadership, secretly, one by one, to get their buy in.
  3. KMT wins the 2028 presidential election, and gains a majority in the Legislative Yuan (this might actually be the hardest part of the plan)
  4. Literally in the middle of the night, the president and parliament shove through a bill that’s effectively reunification. The ROCA stands down, and PLA forces begin to land within days.
  5. Once enough PLA boots and drones are on the ground, it will all be over. The DPP leadership will be arrested. Protests will be quelled. And the KMT will recognize the PRC as the sole legitimate China, dissolving the ROC for good.

NOT GREAT, NOT TERRIBLE

Now… is this course of events likely?

No.

Is it plausible?

Yes.

It’s certainly a lot more plausible than 23 million Taiwanese suddenly deciding to join the Chinamaxxing trend and voting for reunification in a national referendum.

Would I be happy if this took place?

Somewhat.

I place is #2 in terms of desirability.

The ladder goes like this from most to least desirable:

  1. The PLA invades Taiwan, the Americans and allies join in. China emerges victorious.
  2. Peaceful reunification.
  3. PLA blockade forcing reunification
  4. PLA invasion forcing reunification
  5. PLA defeat against either Taiwan or the US

I rank peaceful reunification as more desirable than a 1-to-1 war with Taiwan because such a war will only hurt China’s reputation as a peaceful superpower without proving that China is more powerful than the US. That would be the most desirable outcome.

If China can achieve reunification peacefully, then it can keep being glazed by Leftists around the world for being the good guy alternative to the American Empire. If it were to invade or even blockade Taiwan into submission, that would be very damaging for China’s reputation.

But if China goad the Americans into a war over Taiwan and defeat them… well… that would be fvcking epic.

Day Traders Are Losing EVERYTHING After Bitcoin PLUMMETED

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In these says, when I see Trump on media that I feel USA fall.

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