Cozy reading nook

You know, I have taken to playing “mood music” that I pull off YouTube. My favorites are slow, coffeehouse jazz on rainy or snowy evenings. Such as this LINK.

There is always a slightly slow animated image on the video. Usually with a fireplace. Here’s a screenshot. It’s got a animated cat, rain, books, cozy fireplace, and of course, a leather chair with a throw.

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2024 02 08 10 03

 

Long time mm readers will recognize the similarity of this imagery with my own personal studio in Erie, PA. Check out the link HERE.

Notice anything familiar?

Aside from the disorganized clutter… heh heh.

.

The picture is crap, but imagine it is a snowy or rainy night.

It was actually very nice in the house. It had character, and quite cozy.

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2024 02 08 11 16

My cat Coco is sleeping on a throw on a pile of books.

Here’s Coco…

Coco chillin’ out.

Meanwhile, the wood burning stove is glowing. Mellow music is playing, and I am either painting, or reading a book. A cup of coffee or tea is near by.

It’s funny how thoughts and reality sometimes coincide…

What is the military budget of China compared to other countries? How much does China spend on its military?

Try to ask a more intelligent question.

it is not how much is spend it is what can you do with it!

If the U.S. spends 3 times that of China and one can buy 3 times more in Beijing than in Washington then essentially both the U.S. and China can buy the same amount and technology.

I have not factored in corruption. That probably take away another 50%! China is corruption free. Thanks to Xi Xinping. So after factoring in corruption you essentially has half of what Beijing has!

So that is why China is getting stronger by the day! The truth is far from what you see from a western hubris, superiority complex point of view. This is the price you pay for the forever wars you fight using money you print.

 

6 Sigma Male Traits That Are IMPOSSIBLE To Fake…

https://youtu.be/xGaZqBLsHxE

What are some unwritten social rules everyone should know?

1-Respect the privacy of others.

“Don’t swipe left or right when someone hands over their phone to you for viewing the picture”.

2-Never give advice until you’re asked.

“ Keep calm and oil your own machine. All people are not going through a crisis, even if they are, they just might know how to pull themselves out of it”.

3-Password also needs privacy.

“If someone is typing a password, just look away, turn the other side”.

4-When someone compliments you, just thank them. Or say, “That is very kind of you.”

5-Respect people, not their position.

“Treat the cleaner with the same respect as the CEO. Nobody is impressed at how rudely you can treat someone below you but people will notice if you treat them with respect.”

7-The speakerphone is not for public use.

8-Cover your mouth when coughing and sneezing.

6-Curiosity can look bad at times.

“Never, and I mean Never even touch anyone’s mobile until they say so”.

7-Order wisely when someone is treating you.

Never order the expensive dish on the menu when someone is treating you for lunch/dinner”.

Protect the animals

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/Ii8mF4BZK78?feature=share

 

Do you agree with Stalin when he said, German women rapes were justified after what Soviet soldiers had to endure defending their homeland?

The entire quote by Stalin is as follows: “I understand it if a soldier who has crossed thousands of kilometres through blood and fire and death has fun with a woman or takes some trifle.” With this, he all-but encouraged his Red Army to rape at will… which they did.

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image 75

The Germans had inflicted great damage on the Russians during the war, treating them as less-than human and murdering, raping and torturing a great number of them. Does this make literally crucifying German citizens on their own doorsteps and in their own streets, raping women and children of all ages, okay? I don’t believe any sane person would say it’s ever “okay”.

Also, the wording… fun? I heavily side-eye anyone whose idea of ‘fun’ is the rape of innocent civilians. “Hey, guys, I just arrived in enemy territory after a long and grueling military campaig, dying to have some fun… do you guys know any fun activities for me to indulge in? Hmmm let me think… what about… sexual assault?”

image 74
image 74

But, sure, Mr. Soviet Super Mario says it’s okay, so it’s okay, right? Hitler and the Nazis were awfully evil, so it’s okay to rape the women of Germany, after all, the men of Germany raped plenty of Russian women, too… nah. That just doesn’t fly. This tiny little Borat looking human mite has no right to call upon his soldiers to rape to their heart’s content…

The Japanese army more or less ordered it’s soldiers to rape as many women as they desired in Nanjing, China. They went all-out, acted like animals. It’s a great war crime and regarded by everyone as such. Likewise, the conduct of Russian soldiers in the aftermath of WWII was appalling. And it’s not just German women, either — Polish women too and other Eastern European innocents were raped, murdered and robbed by Soviet troops as they made their way to Berlin. The human suffering was enormous and Stalin was a cheerleader to these horrors.

It’s not okay. It’s never okay. You cannot repay war crimes, with war crimes. You cannot undo evil, by doing evil. Restore balanced, by doing immoral and unhinged things. Stalin was wrong. Every bit as wrong as Hitler. Because they both dehumanized their enemy and endorsed tremendous human suffering. Encouraged it, even.

So Much

https://youtu.be/Y83nXvLWwzg

What are some dirty tactics used by fast food restaurants?

What are some dirty tactics used by fast food restaurants?

Just before every spring and all throughout spring it happens.

It has been a long day. I am tired. I really don’t care for fast food but when I’m tired and lazy, what the heck – right?

I get to the drive through window.

voice:

welcome to _______ would you like to try a value meal?”

Me:

Sure gimme a number <whatever> and a strawberry shake”

voice:

OK that will be $10.59 please pull forward”

So far so good right?

I pull up, hand her a twenty, she takes my money then looks at me and says one of the following:

Would you like to donate 5 dollars to feed starving third world children?

Would you like to donate 5 dollars to send an underprivileged inner city kid to camp?

Would you like to donate 5 dollars so an amputee can receive a leg?

OK I made that last one up but you get what I am saying here.

Now I am just the kind of person these people are looking for. I feel guilty if I walk past a bell ringer in the supermarket during the holidays if I don’t at least give them a buck so it used to always work on me.

Until one fateful day it happened.

The woman at the window asked me:

Would you like to donate 5 dollars to send an underprivileged inner city kid to camp?

I told her “sure keep 5 bucks”

Then as I drove off it hit me

I can’t afford to send my own kids to camp!”

Strombolis

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2024 02 05 13 41

Ingredients

Strombolis

  • 1 pound ground beef
  • 1 tablespoon chopped onion
  • 1/2 cup ketchup
  • 3 tablespoons grated Parmesan cheese
  • 1/3 teaspoon garlic powder
  • 1/4 teaspoon fennel seed, crushed
  • 1/4 teaspoon dried oregano
  • 6 to 8 hamburger buns
  • 6 to 8 slices Mozzarella cheese

Garlic Spread

  • 2 tablespoons butter, softened
  • 1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
  • 1/4 teaspoon paprika

Instructions

  1. Strombolis: Brown meat and drain. Add onion, ketchup, Parmesan cheese, garlic powder, fennel, and oregano. Simmer for 20 minutes.
  2. Split hamburger buns. Spread 1 teaspoon Garlic Spread on each bun top. Divide meat mixture evenly on bun bottoms. Top meat mixture with a cheese slice and add top bun. Wrap each sandwich in a square of foil.
  3. Bake at 350 degrees F for 15 minutes, or until heated thoroughly through.
  4. Garlic Spread: Combine butter, garlic powder and paprika. Mix well.

American story

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/MWteVL6peEw?feature=share

Is it true that martial arts are useless in a street fight?

I trained Budo (Nimpo) for a couple of years and got jumped by five people unprovoked at a buss stop with my friend. Probably because me and my friend had a girl at each side and they had football atire on them and probably lost a match or something. I’m a small person and so is my friend. Smaller than most. This isn’t my first unprovoked aggro because of that size.

There where several other persons at the buss stop too and no one intervened except the girl that was at my side (everyone else just moved away). She screamed at the three jumping me to stop it and tried to move in front that halted two of them a bit before rounding her. My friend didn’t have the same luck with the other two and fell to the ground behind me after a couple of hits.

I saw the first charging me with the two following and had the thought, keep them at a distance and plunged a under hand fist and hit the person in the ribs and followed up with a foot push with my momentum. Two moves I trained alot during my practice. The first when I didn’t have a practice sword and needed distance. The second to make room to draw my practice sword. What was new to me was to combine them in the move. I did it because my master had told me.

If you end up in a fight do three things. Keep them at a distance so they can’t hurt you. If they hit you, make it hurt back so they give up due to pain and if you ever have a chance. Always run, because if you don’t you can get damage for life or loose your life. Fight with that in mind.

I was just thinking, I can’t run from the girs or my friend so went for the two other rules.

The first hit better than I intended, by pure luck or perhaps training. The two others could se the hit as extremely painful when he screamed and started saging(never done the move with full force before). The followup push moved him several meters, more than I thought and that stopped the others in their tracks. They where chocked and didn’t want that pain.

I screamed at them to keep their distance and turned to my friend and saw the other two using him like a football on the ground. I moved in behind one of them and did a locking and draged him off my friend, without hurting him. So my friend could roll out of the way and only get one on one.

This was a misstake because it fixed me too him and sacrificed my movement, the other three jumped me then.

So my masters feedback that I could get a permanent damage was true. My left wrist was broken in a way to remind me every day now, what pain is.

My own experience told me that Grappling a person and killing your movement is something you never should do with more opponents than one. Why did I do that. Yes because of training and the training also teached me to never hurt a person if I could avoid it.

One opponent in front of me do one opponent defence, was drilled into me. Bad decision. It’s wrong, thinking like that. They where four, just one active.

More will always defend a friend if you have hurt them before. Even if you are not hurting their friend at the moment and just keeping him out of the fight. Remember telling him will you stop fighting if I release you.

So three things was in my favour.

Some of my training had helped me alot and the training had also given me the time to think because I acted faster and reacted faster than my opponents due to training without thinking how I did things. This speeds things up alot and gives you awareness if you use it to your benefit. I even combined different moves in my head.

Traning also gives you better results when you do things, that will give you an edge if you can minimize their damage.

Distance is a key factor and a safe direction like what my girl did to the other two in the beginning so there where no one coming from that direction during that time. Also used the buss stop like that after the grappling because I had pulled the person into the buss stop and ran around it a couple of times to avoid getting hit. Must have looked ridiculous.

They where also not sober and I was.

Still grateful that they didn’t jump my girl!

Have Women Lost Their Minds? (It Sure Looks Like Some Have!)

God! Check out 4:20…

https://youtu.be/BotqZiZUdZ4

What bad experience had you saying “I will never buy from that company or use their service ever again”?

Best Buy’s Geek Squad.

I’d gone into Best Buy to replace a bad mp3 player. The counter I had to go to was next to the same counter as the Geek Squad incoming counter.

While an employee was looking up my receipt I had time to overhear the Geek talking to a customer with a computer with no power.

Geek: “Well since it won’t power on that means the motherboard(?) is dead and would cost more to replace than a new computer. I’d recommend picking up a new one on Aisle 5. Hopefully we can transfer your data from this dead system.”

The previous night we’d had a lightning storm and in that day dial-up was still a think. Also I was, and have, worked in legit computer repair stores.

Also I’d drank heavily the night before and was still feeling the effects.

Me: “Why don’t you try pulling the modem out of the computer and try it again. There were lightning strikes in the area last night and it may have blown.”

Geek: “I’ve been doing this for 6 months and I think I know what I’m doing and talking about!”

Me: “I’ve been doing computer repair for 10 years and I think I’d try the modem.”

Customer: “Pull the modem like he said and try again, please.”

So the Geek in a huff opens the case and removes the modem. He hits the power button and turns to us with a smirk on his face while the computer boot into Windows behind him.

I was asked to finish my business and leave the store.

New Data FINALLY PROVES Passport Bros RIGHT!

https://youtu.be/GCLo8ZcpefI

What was the biggest waste of money in human history?

As you may know, Atlantic City, New Jersey isn’t doing so well.

They are losing thousands, if not millions, of tourists to other cities. Many casinos have closed down and the ones that are still open are struggling to make a profit.

Today, I’m going to be showing you a casino that opened in 2012, and it was supposed to be an iconic symbol of Atlantic City.

Revel Casino

(Today it’s called TEN Atlantic City)

Construction began in 2007, the project would cost an astonishing 2.4 billion dollars.

It would became the tallest casino in Atlantic City, and the second tallest in the United States.

It opened its doors on April 2, 2012.

Revel went through a rough start. The building was too massive to fill all of the 1,399 rooms it had. The debt began to build up right as they opened doors, and the owners had no idea what to do.

On February 19, 2013, they announced they would file for bankruptcy in March. The total debt was estimated to be around $1,000,000,000!

On May 21, 2013, Revel exited the bankruptcy court by giving lenders an 82 percent stake in the property.

On June 19, 2014, they filed for bankruptcy again!

They tried to sell the property, but there were no buyers. I wonder why?

In result, they closed their doors on September 1st, 2014. However, just 20 days later, a court-based auction was held. There was a $90 million bid on the property. Then another bid was placed for $110 million! Shortly afterwards the $110 million bidder walked away. The property was eventually sold to Glenn Straub for $95.4 million.

In the end, Revel lost over $2.3 billion dollars.

It may have not been the biggest waste of money, but it was a pretty big one.

The problem was obvious. You can’t build a multi-billion dollar casino and hotel at an already struggling city! Some people can be so weird.

The Revel was suppose to be an iconic symbol of Atlantic City. It was designed to be flooded with tourists and to host world class shows. Instead, it’s looked down on as a symbol of enormous failure.

 

Cannelloni

For a complete meal, serve Cannelloni with a crisp tossed salad, a loaf of Italian bread and fresh fruit.

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2024 02 08 10 54

Yield: 8 to 9 servings; 3 cups tomato sauce

Ingredients

Tomato Sauce

  • 4 tablespoons olive oil
  • 1 cup finely chopped onion
  • 4 cups canned tomatoes, coarsely chopped (reserve liquid)
  • 6 tablespoons tomato paste
  • 2 teaspoons dried basil
  • 2 teaspoons granulated sugar
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • Black pepper

Meat Filling

  • 2 tablespoons olive oil
  • 1/4 cup finely chopped onion
  • 1 teaspoon minced garlic
  • 1 (10 ounce) package frozen chopped spinach, thawed, squeezed dry
  • 1 tablespoon butter
  • 1 pound ground round beef
  • 5 tablespoons grated Parmesan cheese
  • 2 tablespoons whipping cream
  • 2 eggs, lightly beaten
  • 1/2 teaspoon oregano
  • Salt and pepper

Besciamella

  • 4 tablespoons butter
  • 4 tablespoons flour
  • 1 cup milk
  • 2 cups whipping cream
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • 1/8 teaspoon white pepper

Assembly

  • 1 (1 pound) box lasagna noodles*
  • 4 tablespoons grated Parmesan cheese
  • 2 tablespoons butter, cut into pieces

Instructions

Tomato Sauce

  1. Heat oil in a 2 or 3 quart saucepan until a light haze forms over it. Add onion and cook until soft. Add tomatoes with liquid and other remaining ingredients. Reduce heat to very low and simmer for 40 minutes with pan partially covered. Stir occasionally.
  2. Blend tomato mixture in blender and taste for seasoning. Correct if necessary. May be made up to a week before serving and stored in refrigerator.

Meat Filling

  1. Heat oil in skillet. Add onion and garlic. Cook over moderate heat, stirring frequently, for 7 to 8 minutes until soft. Stir in spinach and cook 3 to 4 minutes, stirring constantly. When all the moisture has cooked away, transfer to large mixing bowl. Melt butter in same skillet and lightly brown meat, stirring. Add meat to spinach mixture. Add cheese, cream, eggs and oregano. Mix and season with salt and pepper.

Besciamella

  1. In a heavy 2 or 3 quart saucepan melt butter over moderate heat. Remove from heat and stir in flour. Add milk and cream all at once, stirring constantly with whisk. When the sauce comes to a boil and is smooth, reduce heat. Simmer, still stirring, for 2 to 3 minutes or until sauce is thick enough to coat the whisk wires heavily. Remove from heat and season with salt and white pepper.

Assembly

  1. To assemble cannelloni, cook lasagna until done. Cut each whole lasagne noodles into 3 equal sections. Pour a light film of the tomato sauce into 2 (14 x 10 inch) shallow baking dishes. Place 1 tablespoon of the meat filling on the bottom third of each of the pasta rectangles and roll them up. Lay the cannelloni side by side, seam-side-down, in 1 layer on the tomato sauce. Pour besciamella over cannelloni and spoon the remaining tomato sauce on top. Sprinkle the Parmesan cheese over the assembled cannelloni and dot with butter. Cannelloni may be assembled to this point the day before serving, then refrigerated until time to heat and serve. It may be wrapped and frozen.
  2. When ready to cook, bake cannelloni in 375 degrees F oven uncovered for 20 minutes or until cheese is melted and sauce bubbling.

Notes

* Variation: Use tufoli or manicotti, cut in half after cooking, for pasta.

How athletic do Formula One drivers need to be?

An argument can be made that Formula 1 drivers are the most fit athletes in the world.
For example, the drivers encounter these conditions:

  • When in wide turns at great speeds, the heads of F1 drivers can experience 5g’s
  • When a driver releases full throttle while on a straight with no application of brakes, he experiences greater deceleration from the braking power of the engine alone than we would if we slammed the brakes hard in our cars
  • F1 drivers experience massive g-loads when they crash. In almost all cases, they walk away from the crash.
  • Their sustained heart rates can be 190 bpm during a race
  • The drivers can lose 2 – 3 liters of water through perspiration during a race


Formula 1 drivers are human marvels. They have insanely fast reflexes, have great eyesight, possess an innate sense of how a car moves around a track, endure high heart beat and respiration rates, need to manage a massively complex car through steering wheel controls and conduct conversations with the pit crew throughout the race.

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image 101

A Mercedes F1 Steering Wheel.

F1 drivers train constantly and have excellent aerobic fitness and endurance. A typical F1 race lasts 1.5 – 2 hours, usually in warm conditions. They constantly run at the edge of their performance.

I don’t think any other athlete has more to contend with than does an F1 driver during a race.

 

Have you ever sabotaged food because someone was stealing it?

I did this once, and what ensued remains one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen.

I worked for a mid-size office supply company for a couple of summers in the late 80s when I was in college. Our department of about 25 people was great — everyone got along and we had lots of fun despite the heavy work load.

We had a tiny kitchen with a fridge just outside the conference room. Occasionally there would be a small item missing — a piece of pie here, a can of soda there. It always annoyed us that someone would filch a coworker’s food, but we couldn’t figure out who was doing it. We ruled out someone from another department as they would have to walk clear across our office to get to the kitchen and would be spotted. No, this was an inside job.

One day as I was getting my lunch from the fridge, I saw that my small container of potato salad was gone. I was pissed, and said so to my coworker Ann. She motioned with her thumb to the workstation behind hers and whispered, “I saw Mike eating it. I think he’s the one who’s been stealing from the fridge.”

Mike B., our neurotic, rotund salesman. How had I not suspected him? He was an otherwise good guy so I couldn’t really get mad at him, but I did want to get revenge.

So after work I bought a slice of cake at the supermarket that looked like this:

image 100
image 100

I carefully removed all of the frosting, put half of it in a mixing bowl and tossed out the rest. To the bowl I added at least half a tube of this:

image 99
image 99

Mixed it all up and “re-frosted” the cake. I even added some of these to make it more enticing:

image 98
image 98

He didn’t touch the cake the first day, or the second. Ann and I were getting worried. But on Day 3 he could hold out no longer. Ann came rushing to my desk late in the afternoon and told me to look in the conference room. I stood up and peered over the dividers to see Mike sitting alone in the darkened conference room making calls with a beautiful slice of buttercream and Crest cake in front of him.

Ann couldn’t see, so she asked, “What’s he doing?”

“He’s eating the cake.”

“What do you mean, ‘He’s eating the cake’?”

“The man is eating the cake,” I said, nonplussed.

I watched him eat the entire slice. He paused at one point to poke at the icing with his fork — something wasn’t right — but he kept eating. He hoovered down the cake, toothpaste and all, within two minutes.

By now others had gathered to see what was so interesting, and by the time Mike emerged from the conference room the entire department was waiting. He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw us.

“There’s some white on your lips, Mike,” one of the other salesman said. “Did you just brush your teeth?”

“What? What’s going on?”

Ann told him what he’d just eaten and we all burst out laughing.

“Oh my God!” Mike shouted. “I knew there was something wrong with that cake! I could be poisoned!”

Half of us were doubled over by now, as much over the prank as over Mike’s histrionics.

And then came the crowning moment, totally unforeseen by any of us. Margaret, our frail, 72-year-old bookkeeper, stepped forward carrying a small bottle and a spoon. She was genuinely concerned for her coworker’s health.

“Mike, you need to take this — quickly.”

“What is it?” He asked.

“Just take it. It will help,” she said solemnly.

image 97
image 97

What this woman was doing with a bottle of Ipecac in her desk drawer I’ll never know, but Mike, by this point desperate over potentially being poisoned, took two spoonfuls and downed a glass of water.

If you know what Ipecac used to be used for, then you won’t be surprised at what happened next.

Mike spent the next half hour in the bathroom, vomiting his guts out. He definitely purged the cake, the toothpaste, and anything else he’d eaten that day.

I went in at one point to check on him. “I’m okay,” he muttered from behind the stall door. “But I’m going to strangle that old woman.”

Mike survived and eventually came around to appreciate the humor of what happened, what came to be known as “The Ipe-Cake Incident.”

I Bought America’s Most Expensive Storage Unit (He HOARDED GUNS!)

https://youtu.be/xDIfFlfA1RU

What was the biggest waste of money in human history?

It’s a hard question to answer, because as a percent of GDP its pretty hard to compare building the pyramids to anything else.

However I have a great Canadian example.

Canada wanted to save its ship building and technology sector by building a whole new fleet of 15 warships, plus more coastguard ships.

To make this economical, we were buying a hull design from the British navy, but were building them in Canada, and using Canadian built armaments, Canadian radar, Canadian developed software, etc. We were building 15 warships for 24 billion dollars, or $1.6 billion each.

But then the navy decided that they didn’t want anything Canadian in it, they wanted everything to be compatible with the US systems. So everything has been redesigned, where we now buy all American parts, and software, and install them on our ship. But we now have to pay licensing fees every year to a foreign government, to operate our war ships, and if we have a dispute with that government, our systems are shutdown.

So now the cost of frigate has soared to 5.7 billion dollars, or $84 billion for 15. But it gets worse, with maintenance costs, its over $300 billion, and we have to contract out a lot of maintenance to the Americans for their proprietary systems.

The UK bought a used US aircraft carrier, for what we are spending on a frigate.

It gets even worse, the US is willing to sell us their off the shelf, brand new frigates, that have everything the navy wants, for the same $1.6 billion each, that we were going to pay in the first place. Since the new ships will have no new Canadian technology in them, there is little gain for Canada to spend an extra $4.1 billion a ship more than forecast.

The government announced that they will have to cut the armed forces budget.

Doomsday Prepper’s ABANDONED Mansion | Found Secret Bunker with EVERYTHING Still Inside

https://youtu.be/PELfFjp_FxU

Once upon a time, the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert.

Once upon a time, the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert.

Congress said someone might steal from it at night; so they created a night watchman, GS-4 position, and hired a person for the job.

Then Congress said, “How does the watchman do his job without instruction?”

So they created a planning position and hired two people, one person to write the instructions, GS-12, and one person to do time studies, GS-1.

Then Congress said, “How will we know the night watchman is doing the tasks correctly?”

So they created a Q. C. position and hired two people, one GS-9 to do the studies and one GS-11 to write the reports.

Then Congress said, “How are these people going to get paid?”

So they created the following positions, a timekeeper, GS-09, and a payroll officer, GS-11, and hired two people.

Then Congress said, “Who will be accountable for all these people?”

So they created an administrative position and hired three people, an Admin.

Officer GM-13, Assistant Admin.

Officer GS-12, and a Legal Secretary GS-08.

Then Congress said, “We have had this command in operation for one year and we are $280,000 over budget, we must cut back overall cost.”

So they laid off the night watchman.

 

 

Daily Life: What is the most valuable skill a person can have for their entire life?

image 103
image 103

One day in the early 1920s, a four feet tiny man walked into a Ford plant near Detroit.

His name was Charles Proteus Steinmetz. He was a mathematician and electrical engineer, called there to help fix a big generator. From Smithsonian Mag

:

Upon arriving, Steinmetz rejected all assistance and asked only for a notebook, pencil and cot.

Steinmetz listened to the generator and scribbled computations on the notepad for two straight days and nights. On the second night, he asked for a ladder, climbed up the generator and made a chalk mark on its side. Then he told Ford’s skeptical engineers to remove a plate at the mark and replace sixteen windings from the field coil.

They did, and the generator performed to perfection.

Henry Ford was thrilled, until he got an invoice from General Electric in the amount of $10,000. Ford acknowledged Steinmetz’s success but balked at the figure. He asked for an itemized bill.

Steinmetz responded personally to Ford’s request with the following:

Making chalk mark on generator: $1.

Knowing where to make mark: $9,999.

Ford paid the bill.

I’ve told this story before, but I can’t think of a better one to show: the single most valuable skill in the world is judgement.

At first I thought great judgement would just make you rich, but that’s not true. It’ll also make you happy. Deciding who you trust requires judgement. Choosing who you marry is a judgement call. How you spend your time is a direct result of your judgement.

That’s why nature made it hard to get. The only way to good judgement leads right through experience, which you pay for in time, energy, and taking risk. But most of all, you need courage.

Because while life is one big judgement training camp, those who really embrace it must ask what the most important decision is, choose an option, and then see it through. Over and over again. And that’s not a matter of judgement at all.

 

What is the most unfair advantage a person can have?

The landlords in Maldives.

Maldives is a small country barely visible on the map. Of course there are smaller countries, but the islands in Maldives are scattered all across the ocean making some islands big as a regular apartment or just sand banks (which is useless. No one can live there). This means, we do not have a lot of land and landlords take advantage of the people with skyrocketing rent.

Our capital city, Male’ is where literally every Maldivian wants to live in because it has got everything that a regular islanders could never have.

To give you a clearer picture; regular islanders live in suuuper tiny islands, sometimes with a population of 200 or more. Zero cars sometimes, because these islands are so small you can literally walk anywhere. One small school for 10–20 kids and one health clinic (worst).

Right after they see the city, they want to move there at any cost and this is the story of EVERY Maldivian. And is also the reason why three quarters of the population lives in Male’ city . Hence, skyrocketing rent.

The people who actually belong to Male’ rent out their houses or build huge apartment buildings and rent it out for prices however they like. Why not?!? People still want these places at any cost, even if that means working two jobs, even if that means sharing one small unit with 10 other people. And don’t even get me started on investing in these tiny ass apartments, that is just a topic for another day pheww.

Ever wondered where these ‘rich’ landlords are? They rent out even the tiniest places they own for ridiculous prices and move to a cheaper country. Basically they are set for life. However, they live like normal people in those countries , no crazy fancy life but the quality of life is better of course.

Basically anyone who owns a little piece of land in this concrete jungle, Male’ city, is SET FOR LIFE.

image 102
image 102

8

What is the most impressive, best designed medieval fortress in the world?

Everyone wants to know the “most” the “best”, I too am guilty of that :-p However, its not that easy to say which is the No 1 in everything especially if there are multiple measures to grade against, that the scope (time & geography) is so wide, that some may be lost to us and hence not enough is known, tactics-strategy-war tech change even within the medieval time frame so as to affect what is desirable in a fortress and as with all things strategic and tactical – there is always differences in opinions. So knowing full well there is no right answer and I can’t even pretend to know more than a tiny fraction of fortresses within the question scope, I will hazard a few candidates and also why.

Illustration by Peter Dunn of Siege of Dover Castle in 1216 (from english-heritage-uk.co)

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Before going into individual fortresses, 3 things. 1) the question used the term fortress, the word emphasis a combat role, so I will take it entirely from a military perspective and ignore all other factors. 2) The term medieval refers to a span of approximately 1000 years between the fall of the Romans and the start of Renaissance. However the word is a essentially a European and perhaps Middle Eastern due to the degree of interaction back then. It does NOT apply to “the world”. Despite this I will simply assume coverage include examples from somewhere around c500AD to c1500AD without geographic limits. There is a slight difference in the time when we refer to “Medieval” because depending on the civilization in question there are differences in the start of the Renaissance period. 3) There is a difference between castles and fortresses, but its a minor one of generally greater focus on battle priorities by fortresses than the castles (eg relatively thicker walls) and castles encompass more. For this answer, I will NOT distinguish between the 2, but I will ignore non-military strengths of castles per (1).

About individual castles I would first point out that I will only be touching on them in brief, which frankly speaking will be a disservice to them since a lot of their defensive features may be left out in the process. But this is quora, I am not trying to do a research paper.

These castles may have their surrounding defense works overtaken by development. In addition, its common to have temporary defense works added outside the permanent parameters if they have the troops for it. Example of temporary defense works are ditches and earthen works for layers of defense and fall back positions.

In no particular order.

(from:architectureofcities.com) Le Mont-Saint-Michel, Normandy, France

from 8th century

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Top view (from:pininterest/Luc Vieri)

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The castle at high tide is accessible by one narrow approach at high tide (narrower in the past). And at low tide the waters around recede and is clay-like sand. Defense is oriented more towards the land approach which is deemed the greater threat.

(from:art.com)

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(from eart.esa.int)

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What its location means is by land you are restricted to 1 approach at high tide, and at low tide siege engines won’t work from other sides, foot approach will also be a real pain. By sea, you only have a short period to do anything and you risk running aground. It is conceivable that if the defenders anticipates assault by sea, they can prepare some surprises for the ships.

You will see it has concentric walls of higher and higher elevation, which makes each breach just meaning a harder fight coming up with the next wall (attackers gets “boxed in”). Also elevation gives all sorts of advantages to the defenders. Seaward side you will note the sheer inclines.

The abbey has never fallen.

Murud-Janjira – Murud, Maharashtra, India

(from:architectureofcities.com)

from 1200s

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(from:holidify.com)

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(from reddit)

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from wiki

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40’ high walls and 19 rounded bastions, has fresh water wells and made made lakes. Not a star shape fortress, but the concept of one is present with the bastions to provide fire on “at wall” targets. Has multi walls, can only be threatened by sea but will out class sea vessels guns of the time with weight and range of fire of their guns as well as advantage of elevation.

Edinburgh Castle – Edinburgh, Edinburgh, Scotland

(2 pics from:architectureofcities.com)

from 1103

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High elevations , commanding view (more on this point from next castle), very thick walls. I actually visited the place, even as a visitor it can be tiring to go around. For attacking troops, there will be so many obstacles and death traps along the way even if you get pass the outer walls, or even reach the outer walls for the matter. And if for some reason you managed to get inside, there are so many little details that will disadvantage the attacker vs the defender. Simple things like the direction of spiral stairs to disadvantage a right handed attacker moving upwards vs a downward fighting defender for example.

Besieged more than 25 times but never fallen by force. When it did fall it was through treachery, deceit, politics, surrender etc. The 1 case a comment managed to dredge up was when the castle was bombarded extensively by the largest siege engines of the time for 3 days, and practically demolished the place. By the time the defenders gave up and surrendered, the damage took many years of rebuilding to restore and with help of master craftsman from Wales. So in that 1 case they dodged the “taken by force” on a technicality of surrender before the defenses were actually overwhelmed.

Hohensalzburg Fortress – Salzburg, Salzburg, Austria

(from:nomadbytrade.com)

from 1077

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Its very much similar to Edinburgh castle in terms of military perspective but the picture above shows a cannon point out from the defenses, this is what I had meant about “commanding view”.

Château de Puilaurens

from 13th century

(source: pininterest/Susan Calderon)

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(source:catharcastles.info)

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Other than the fort on a hill top and aspects already mentioned, I draw your attention to the only approach is not only steep and zigzag, but there are also zigzag walls to let the attacker face wall after blood letting wall.

Mehrangarh – Jodhpur, Rajasthan, India

from around 1459

(from architectureofcities.com)

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Same strengths as Edinburgh and Hohensalzburg

There are actually many such hill top fortifications so rather than go into too many I will just show some without explanation:

Königstein Fortress – Königstein, Saxony, Germany

from c860

(from spottinghistory.com)

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image 79

Ksar of Aït Benhaddou – Aït Benhaddou, Morocco

from 11th century

(from:architectureofcities.com)

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Himeji Castle

from 1346

(from:jrpass.com)

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(from Japan-history-travel.net)

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I actually visited one of these. Unlike most ‘on the hill top’ type fortifications, many examples of the Japanese forts show much more extensive modification of the surrounding area for defensive reasons. Just moving from the outer perimeters to the castle proper is quite a challenge for an attacker. Every step of the way is uphill with things designed to give the defender plenty of chances to kill or maim the attacker from relative safety, some of which are really devious. Even if you reach the main door of the castle, you face an entrance way that is almost vertically upwards with each of the steps so high you have to literally climb up (all the daily convenience aspects are retracted away). The entire fort from outer perimeters, courtyards to hallways designed to be a meat grinder.

There are many such fortifications around the world from that time period and my relatively short coverage of so few does no justice at all to all the examples not yet mentioned.

Key aspects:

Command the surrounding

Difficult to approach

Time consuming to besiege/attack

Able to take attacks from weapons of the time

Supplies – especially water

Death Trap – cost the attackers every step of the way

Layer after layer of defense

Cozy Fireplace 4K (12 HOURS). Fireplace with Crackling Fire Sounds. Crackling Fireplace 4K

LOL. This is 12 hours of fireplace blaze. Great for a background video on your living-room television. But useless otherwise. Enjoy the link if you want to.

https://youtu.be/lnk0SffeGOg

What is the nastiest thing you’ve done for revenge?

It was a party. He was hassling a girl and calling her boyfriend “scraggly Jesus”.

Fifty kilo (110 lbs.) me asked him to stop. Hundred kilo he, lifted me under the armpits and pinned me against the wall while lecturing me on minding my own business in front of 50 or 60 partygoers.

A few of his friends told him to stop, and he did.

I left the party.

Three days later, I saw him get out of an open convertible in the parking lot and leave it open.

My eyes happened upon the poison ivy growing along the fence.

Knowing my tolerance was high (after many severe and very itchy cases), I tore off a dozen leaves and rubbed them all over his steering wheel and seat before tossing them away at the fence again.

I then went back into work and washed my hands thoroughly.

I had a light case on my hands.

He spent three weeks looking very pink (from the medication) and very unhappy and never able to figure out why the poison ivy kept spreading to new areas.

 

 

The Pants

https://youtu.be/UpXuQAfpm_o

Was the D-Day scene of World War II in the movie Saving Private Ryan overrated?

Originally Answered: Was the D-Day scene of World War II in the movie, Saving Private Ryan overrated?

My dad was part of the landing shown in the movie “Saving Private Ryan.” He was a combat engineer and landing three minutes into the invasion. I grew up hearing his war stories. I guess talking about it made it easier for him. It wasn’t until years later I realized how important those “boring” conversations were.

Dad landed with 44 men. Eleven made it through that first day. After he saw “Saving Private Ryan,” he confessed to me that the only thing missing for him was the smell.

When I saw the movie, I vividly remember the guy walking around looking for his arm, because that was a story Dad had told me long before the movie ever came out. He talked about being pinned down and how there was only one choice: forward. There wasn’t an evacuation plan if the invasion didn’t work out.

He spoke about how tired they got waiting to die and how welcomed it was when people began organizing and attacking again. He told me how he just had to move and ignore the bullets. He described the bullets as like buzzing bees flying past him. They didn’t matter. Getting off the beach was the only thing that mattered.

As for the scene after D-Day where they show Tom Hanks’ character sleeping beneath a Jeep and just shaking with fear, I asked Dad about that. He explained how brainwashed they were going into the invasion; how they had been convinced it was going to be a cakewalk to Paris; how some of the guys were even (jokingly) asking for weekend passes to Paris on the boat ride over. That first day was supposed to be the easiest day and when it was over, all he could think about was, “If this was the easy day, I don’t want to see tomorrow.”

After seeing the movie, Dad called each of his children and asked them to see it, too, out of respect for him and the people he served with. I called him after I saw it for the most chilling phone call I ever had with him. In the course of that phone call, he recited the name and rank of every soldier he served with who didn’t make it. Over 50 years later, he still remembered every one of them.

Please find and read D-Day: June 6, 1944: The Battle for the Normandy Beaches Paperback – June 5, 2002 by Stephen E. Ambrose – which was written after receive 1400 oral histories from people who were there.

My Wife Said She “Identifies” As Poly & Wants An Open Marriage…So I Made Her My Side Piece!

https://youtu.be/0SaXniqONcc

 

When did you see a police officer do a clever, but sneaky thing?

When did you see a police officer do a clever, but sneaky thing?

I didn’t see it but was told this story firsthand.

My cousin was an undercover Narcotics detective in Vancouver. He’d arrested a low level dealer and talked him into revealing his supplier. He also got the date for when the supplier would have a shipment in.

With search warrant in hand the group went to the drug distributor’s home to search his premises.

While officers searched every nook of his home my cousin focused on watching the dealer while the other officers did the search.

The dealer looked confident and relaxed during the search. My cousin was starting to worry that they had missed the delivery.

They finished searching the house and went out to the garage. Again, my cousin focused on the dealer while the rest did the search.

He noticed a stacked pile of new plywood in the center of the garage. When the other officers searched elsewhere the dealer looked calm. But when they passed by the plywood he flinched.

My cousin did a gotcha-smile and had the officers remove a half dozen layers of plywood. Then they found a cut-out in the middle containing a large quantity of drugs.

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A clever detective indeed!

Addendum:

I’m delighted that many Quorans found the answer interesting. So let me add to the story.

I was reluctant to add my cousin’s name because frankly I didn’t think you would believe it. His name is Rick Crook and he had an incredible career in the Vancouver Police force. He went from undercover drug enforcement to homicide and ultimately worked for the RCMP. He wrote a book and did some script work for Canadian crime dramas. The story of the drug bust was from 1985. Rick in his “cop” look was as straight as can be. However, in his druggie garb he was amazing. I remember looking at this picture of him in his druggie role. He had a beard, jeans and looked like a country hick. No one would ever have guessed he was a cop. He went on to major crimes/homicide during which he dealt with a major mob informant, later murdered, as well as investigating the Air India bombing. (links below)

Side note: He was the only cop at the station who was paged by his badge number. Apparently paging Detective Crook created way too much humour.

Vancouver police Det. Rick Crook – Joe Bruno on the Mob

A truth

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/fYZRF1ARZfg?feature=share

 

 

Has a hotel maid ever walked in on someone at an awkward moment?

Back in 2000, I was in the national guard. During the summer, I would ask to be put on orders to for the money. Since they apparently had the money to spare, they put me on orders for a couple of months in the summer, so I was full time. Well, since i lived 200 miles away, they put me up in a hotel not far from the base.

One morning, I was not working for some reason, or I was going in later or something. Point is, I was just getting out of the shower and apparently did not hear the maid knock at the door. As per usual, she let herself in and proceeded to clean up….of course unbeknownst to me. I opened the bathroom door and walked out in the buff—of course not expecting anyone to be in my room. The maid was making the bed as I walked out. We caught each other’s eye…we both stopped dead. I didn’t even have a towel to cover with. Suddenly, she turned red and apologized profusely. I went back into the bathroom and told her not to worry, it was my fault for not hearing her come in. Well, she left. I got dressed and headed out.

On my way to the car, I saw her sitting outside looking troubled. When she saw me, she apologized again and said she was really really sorry. I could tell she was worried about it. I told her not to worry. It didn’t bother me at all. It was just one of those things that happen. I actually thought it was kind of funny. She smiled at that and relaxed. I was there for a couple of months in that hotel room. Every day, I passed her in the corridor and we always said hi to each other.

Man, I feel really bad for guys…

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/cvFLj200tOE?feature=share

Have you ever sabotaged food because someone was stealing it?

Cream of Tartar and Citric Acid.

Those are the ingredients responsible for the “sour” in sour candy.

Exactly what I used one day to make homemade Warheads.

Homemade candy is an art form. The precise timing allows expression of individual preference for the hardness; that, combined with absolute control over amounts of flavoring, shaping and texture as it cools means almost anything imaginable is possible. And I imagined candy more sour than any of that weak “legal” stuff.

I bring the corn syrup and sugar to a boil, and it’s time to add flavoring. The options were lemon oil, apple, or even cherry, but I didn’t use any of those. Everyone knows natural taste distracts from the most important flavor: sour. I didn’t want that. I wanted the perfect pucker, a sour so undeniable that even the coolest dude would wince and beg for mommy.

So that’s what I did. I wasn’t using a recipe, so I could add as much as I wanted. Forgoing the measuring spoon entirely, I poured the acid in. Once the liquid had consumed the acerbic powder completely, I calmly whispered to myself, “That should be enough.”

Enough it was, because when it came time to test it, the immediate reaction of every family member followed a predictable pattern:

  1. Gag
  2. Run and spit candy out
  3. Wash mouth repeatedly
  4. Criticize my ability to cook

They all gave scathing reviews, which I’ll do my best to recreate:

  • “This isn’t candy, these are literally acid drops.”
  • “Tastes like gasoline.”
  • “What did you put in these? They’re terrible.”

They were perfect — exactly as I imagined.

See, there was this kid at school who loved candy too much for his own good, if I dare foreshadow the inevitable.

He had a habit of literally rummaging through people’s lunchboxes and eating any candy he found, as well as snatching things from people’s hands. No respect for personal space and no hesitation.

Which is what made him the perfect victim. That morning I put every single sour candy I had in a plastic bag, and put it at the top of my lunchbox.

Dude couldn’t even wait for lunch, it happened during chemistry, ironically.

“What are these?” he said, holding the bag of dark brown pieces. While I replied, “some candy I made,” he had already opened the bag, grabbed an entire handful of them, and shoved it in is mouth. I had rolled them in powdered sugar, so it took a bit for the sour to kick in.

“AAAAACTHVK AAACK TBBD GAAACK GAHCHK NGAH”

He gagged and ran to the trashcan by the door, spitting the dozen or so pieces out, while the class watched, proving that not even the sugar content could keep him from following the reaction process.

“WHAT ARE THOSE?”

Even though I had already replied, I realized he hadn’t fully heard the first time, so I again said, “some sour candies I made.”

“THOSE WERE GROSS.” Yes, yes they were.

The lesson had been made. Don’t throw foreign objects in mouth without first seeing someone else eat them.

Honestly it was more funny than in bad taste, as everyone in the class including the teacher then got a chance to try one. They all agreed I had bested Warheads

and created something truly inedible, yet still somehow candy.

Those “acid drops” will always be remembered, for the special way they burned our tongues and seemingly melted our teeth, but more especially for how that greedy kid partook of sweet, sweet karma.

Welcome to manhood, kid…

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/lNMOfz3otzI?feature=share

Caprese Sandwich

A classic Italian vegetarian sub sandwich is a spring and summer favorite of ours. Creamy mozzarella, lush ripe tomatoes, extra-virgin olive oil and basil are the basics of this sandwich.

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2024 02 05 13 39

Yield: 1 sandwich

Ingredients

  • 1 Italian sub roll (or similar)
  • 1/2 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil
  • 1/2 tablespoon balsamic glaze
  • 5 fresh basil leaves
  • 2 ripe tomatoes, thickly sliced
  • Salt, to taste
  • Freshly ground pepper, to taste
  • 3 thick slices fresh mozzarella (buffalo, if possible)

Instructions

  1. Using a serrated knife, slice a sub roll in half lengthwise.
  2. Drizzle the inside with extra-virgin olive oil and balsamic glaze.
  3. Add basil and tomato to one side and sprinkle with salt and pepper.
  4. Top with fresh mozzarella and close sandwich.
  5. Top the tomatoes with mozzarella.

Notes

It is best to assemble this sandwich just before eating since some moisture from the cheese and tomato will seep into the bread as it sits.

Don’t have balsamic glaze on hand? You can use regular balsamic vinegar or make some by adding 1/2 cup balsamic vinegar with 1/4 cup apple juice and boiling it down until it reduces into a thick syrup.

Kids these days

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/YgIv0QHsdh8?feature=share

As a lifeguard, did you ever see something that made you say, “You can’t be serious…?”?

I was a lifeguard as a teenager, and was working at a summer camp as are so common in US.

This kid, who I had been teaching to swim that morning, was out on a float in the lake. He wasn’t a strong swimmer but was safe, in my estimation. On the shore side of the float, the water wasn’t very deep. On the other side, about 10 feet from the float, it was *very* deep- a float-cord warned swimmers to not go on that side. The float was about 50 metres from shore. It had a ladder and a little slide, both on the shore side.

The kid starts yelling that I need to come get him as he is too tired to swim back. I told him that he was capable of getting to shore on his own.

So he said “Oh yeah? Well what about this?” and the little pillock dove off the back of the float, swam to the float-cord, and went under to the deep side- screaming he was drowning.

I was ready to murder him.

But, I went off to get him- by the time I got to him, he was actually in real trouble.

I dragged him back to shore, told him off, reminded him of the rules, told him he could have drowned, and the little weasel said “It’s your job to come get me if I don’t want to swim. I’m going to tell my mother [a high flying criminal attorney] that you pushed me in the water.”

I went to the Senior counsellors about this, and we put measures in place… the next day he was outfitted with a “swimmie”- a bright yellow and red vest with flotation material in the abdominal/chest area- and told he could not be within 10 feet of the water without it. It made kids look like they were fat with a well endowed chest, but it kept their head out of the water if they couldn’t swim. The Senior Counsellor told him if he could not safely get back from the float on his own, as he had proven, then he had to wear the swimmie.

His mother was told by her outraged child, who clearly expected her to chastise the evil counsellors who didn’t want him to drown… her response was to threaten to have a life size picture of this 12 year old hotshot in his swimmie made, and put it on the front lawn.

She was awesome.

 

Michelle Obama is a MAN?!

https://youtu.be/VF4K3YP4uco

Have you ever been to an interview where it was clear from the beginning they had no intention of hiring you?

I got an interview for a program manager job at a company where I felt like I wasn’t a great fit… a job that was 5–10 years more than my experience level in that particular industry would usually give me. I mentioned this to the interviewer early on in the interview and he said something like “Yeah… You aren’t a great fit. I’ve just never met anyone who graduated from Yale. I wanted to see what you were like.” This frustrated the hell out of me… thanks for wasting my time leaving my job, dressing up, an hour in the interview and the travel time back to work in the middle of the day.

After the first 10 seconds of “F-you, a-hole” that ran through my head, I then thought “OK. Let’s have fun with this. I’m already here. I can either tell the guy what I think about his wasting my time and walk out or I can flip the table and make it a learning opportunity or an experiment.” I decided on option 2, as I was already there. I continued w/ the interview, asking my usual questions about what they wanted the person to do and the problems they saw in the organization, but 5 min in I stopped him. “I think you are hiring all wrong for this position. You say that you are looking for X, but that person is going to fail, and here’s why… What you REALLY need is Y. THAT kind of person and knowledge is what you need to be successful, if what you told me about your problems are true. I’m also guessing that you badly need Z skills in your group, if not in this position, then another.” I didn’t hold back. I was professional, but I basically told him that he was unimaginative, dim and was doomed to repeat the mistakes that had plagued him over the past few years with his current hiring plan (This is sarcasm here folks. I, of course, was polite and professional, but as the interview had stopped being about me getting a job and started being a learning experiment, I wasn’t worried about pulling any punches or staying on his good side).

It’s funny, but he called me a few days later, told me I was right and made me a job offer. I turned him down nicely. I was looking for a new job to leave a bad company… there were so many red flags that came up during the interview (more than the reason above) that I was never going to work for that place. I would have been jumping from the frying pan and into the fire.

 

What are the reasons for the reversal of fortunes between Japan and China?

Japan need to rid itself of this strange bedfellow call USA of its back. Without which the nation will stagnate till it fully collapse.

It is not easy when the US has over 100 military base big and small in its small territory. I dare say it is bad for both the U.S. and Japan. But let’s focus on Japan. They are threatened, coerced and bribed into talking shit, doing shit and stirring shit on China 24/7, 365 days a year by their master USA. As a slave they have no say and no opinion that can differ from its master.

In 1945 they had no choice having lost the war and nuke twice, by 1970 it seemed a perfect arrangement, US is a behemoth market while China is minuscule underdeveloped nation. Japan gets protected and sells its goodies to its master and got filthy rich. By 1991 Their master says no way, we decide to double the Japanese yen value overnight.

For 33 years and counting the Japanese economy is in a deflationary, stagflation. Meanwhile by 2010 China as a market and as manufacturing base has overgrown Japan and today in 2024 China as a market is equivalent to the U.S. plus the entire G7 put together. So try imagining talking shit, doing shit and stirring shit at China!

But that is what they are compelled to do! There lies the problem. Their product won’t sell, their companies suffer losses, their people lose jobs, Investment dry up and consumption fall flat or going down. Their debts are highest in the world and they lose a million population a year. And what do they do?

They suck up to the Yanks!

What choice do you have!

You don’t resign from a mafia boss!

 

Japan vs China in the 1930s – 1940s

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/bZHr1jpQ97I?feature=share

Baked Spaghetti Pie

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2024 02 08 10 51

Ingredients

  • 2 pounds spaghetti
  • 2 pounds ricotta cheese
  • 1/2 cup whole milk
  • 3 large eggs
  • 1 pound ground beef
  • 1 pound spicy Italian sausage
  • 1/2 cup spaghetti sauce
  • 1 pound Provolone cheese, sliced thin
  • 1/2 cup Romano cheese, grated

Instructions

  1. Heat oven to 475 degrees F.
  2. In a large pan, boil spaghetti 20 minutes; drain and set aside.
  3. Mix ricotta, milk and eggs together in a small bowl; add to spaghetti and stir together.
  4. Press into a 13 x 9 inch baking pan until compact and even.
  5. Cook ground beef and sausage in a large skillet.
  6. Drain fat, removing as much as possible.
  7. Stir in spaghetti sauce.
  8. Spread evenly over spaghetti base in pan.
  9. Layer slices of Provolone over meat mixture, then add the grated Romano on top of that.
  10. Bake for 20 minutes.
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2024 02 08 10 52

Have you ever met someone who seemed nice and normal but there was just something about them that didn’t seem right?

Yes,a work friend. We worked together at Wamu (before it closed) and got along really well. She seemed a bit rough around the edges and normally not the type that I associate with, but we clicked well. I didn’t want to be judgmental. I found out that she was homeless and lived in her car at night, so since it was only my husband and me raising our grand-daughter with a 5 bedroom house, I offered her a place to stay. I told her not to worry about rent for the first month but after that we would expect it. Was I stupid or what?

She ended up yelling at my grand-daughter for dumb things when she didn’t think I heard (g-daughter was only 7) , and then would be sweet when I was around. RED FLAG. After the first week, she started creating problems with my husband and me by pitting us against each other. She would say things like, “and you know what else he said?” as if my husband was trashing me behind my back. Because of that, she created a number of arguments. I learned she was drinking in her room and I suspected drugs . My husband wanted her OUT OF OUR HOUSE NOW.

I went to work and talked to a few other friends who told me that she is using meth. They said to get her out of our house. After a week I asked her to leave (before I had to evict her) and had my daughter and her husband come over as a witness (by this time I didn’t trust her). My manager at Wamu along with my supervisor also advised me to get her out , and gave me support while doing so. Once she left, she harassed me at work, made harassing phone calls at work and at home. She would go into an empty office and call my extension and hang up…..and eventually she was caught. I went home one night and found my dog dead in the garage, and it was suspected she poisoned her, but I couldn’t prove it. The manager became so concerned that she was eventually fired and security escorted her out. I will never do that again,….lesson learned. Why is it when you try to be nice, the person becomes a jerk?

10 American Cities That Are DEAD Forever

https://youtu.be/W4redeFnz2o

Advice for lonely women who cannot find a partner to live out their life with

I do love a delicious baked lasagna. It’s not like I can get it often. Here in China, it’s truly a rare thing.

A fine baked lasagna.

It’s great with a fine bottle of wine. Red wine. Dry red, would be lovely.

Though I do get to eat other kinds of food often enough instead. I think that food is something that needs to be savored. You know, most people, in most nations savor their food. unlike the United States (where I grew up) which was dash, grab, smunch, and return.

Meals should be shared. They should be savored, and they should be enjoyed.

Our health is determined not only by what we do, but what we eat and who we eat the foods with. A solitary life is unhealthy. It really is. I know, I have been solitary on and off for much of my life. I didn’t like it then, and I sure as heck don’t now.

Your weight, I strongly believe, correlates on HOW you eat, WHAT you eat, and WHO you eat with. If you want to trim down, then start going out more with friends and savoring the food.

Isolation is toxic.

Most MM readers are older, and are or have been married. Never the less, every now and then I get a email or a message from someone who is alone and very lonely. I have been there before, and so I just cannot sit by and let this pass.

This is me, ol’ MM, dishing out advice.

I’m going to be straight and honest, and abrupt. And I might upset some people. I apologize for that. I guess that this is my way to plow through a bunch of fears and bullshit, and tell you all things that are truthful. I hope that it connects and changes someone’s life for the better.

Background

This article was inspired by this letter…

I’m almost 32 and still a virgin. I can honestly say I don’t feel human. I hate to admit this but suicide seems more and more like a viable option as every day goes by.

The worst thing is when I try to reach out for help. I don’t know why I am a masochist and try to get advice from my mom…. I told her that I am desperate for a relationship and can’t find one. Her answer was that I should pray to God that I lose my feelings of wanting a relationship. Implying that I should give up and not try.

She even told me that one of her friends had a relative my age and they suggested setting us up. She told me that she said to them “I wasn’t interested”…. not that I would actually want to have someone set me up with a stranger but…. really??? Most moms are dying to help their daughters with this. Mine seems to get a KICK out of sabotaging me and not wanting me to just find someone.

And I was talking to my mom last night and brought up the idea of liposuction. Cue a huge fight between the two of us. I am not overweight but I do have a few odd body proportions that I think make me unappealing…. It’s like an affront against nature for me to try to improve my chances of finding someone. Literally the world turns on me the moment I think of maybe being alluring. Almost every other woman can have her moment, but when I get ideas of trying to be pretty? It’s like I murdered someone. I am now reeling after this conversation, wondering what types of rope would be best to hang myself with.

I don’t know how to navigate life and frankly, killing myself is less of a horrible idea every day. I know that it’s a “permanent solution to a temporary problem” but my situation feels like I am trapped and there is no other way out. People reading this, can you blame me for wanting this to end?

It is unbearable being someone like me, who wants a relationship but can never have it. I am not human. I’m not even sure I should be alive.

I’d almost think of losing my virginity to a prostitute but frankly that would just be me adding to a larger problem of abuse. I’d rather not do that. Frankly, there is no future for me. I am starting to plan out suicide methods at the same time most women are planning baby showers and weddings. I am toying with the idea of going out into the snow during winter and just falling asleep. There is something dignified about just falling “asleep” in the snow. Maybe nobody would find me and it would be a mystery as to what happened to me.

I’ve lost hope.

And, it hurts.

I know it hurts. It really hurts.

So I am going to talk as a man, who appreciates women.

[1] There is a man for every woman.

The very first thing that YOU must understand is that there is a Mr. Right out there, somewhere for you.

This is a TRUTH.

This is an undeniable truth.  Somewhere, out THERE, is a guy that is just like you, wanting to share his life.

It’s just that he is not available in your area, with the group of friends that you have, or anywhere near your school, industry or day to day activities.

Hell, I didn’t get to go out with girls / women (myself) until I started getting out of the male-dominated schools, industries, and societies that I frequented. I had to break out of the little close knit life that I had.

You might have to break out from your normal circle of friends to find him. You might have to go out further to find him. You might even have to employ an agency, or travel overseas to find him…

…but find him, you will.

I am convinced that there is a man for every woman simply because I have been exposed to so many men who all have such a wide array of tastes and interests. Many of the women who I wouldn’t be that interested in would really cause some of my male friends to just fall madly in love.

For instance, I am not interested in a woman who is taller than I am. It’s a personal taste. I just feel very odd looking up to a woman, and having to stand on my tippy-toes to kiss her. But that is just me. However, when I have mentioned to this to other men, I find that a goodly 25%, or one in four counter with “so what?” they argue (for the most part) that sex would be great; that our kids would be either fashion models or basketball players, and that all the other guys would think that I was a “stud” because I was with such an extraordinary woman.

I am also freaked out by Polydactylyism. But that is again, just me. It’s not that I am revolted by it, it just seems a little odd to me, and I don’t know if I can focus on the relationship if the woman had eight fingers on each hand. I’d always be wondering what our children would be like.

But on the other hand, a person’s kindness, confidence, experience, ability to communicate and participate in my interests, food, and just being fun goes a long… long way in me wanting to spend time with them.

[2] Men are attracted to a wide variety of shapes, and sizes.

I know I am.

There is NO SUCH THING as being too fat, too “thick”, too thin, too ugly, or too short. Nor is there too old, or too young.

I will tell you that, me personally, I generally have an upper limit on size for a woman that I am interested in. If she is bigger, wider or heavier than I am, I tend to lose interest. It’s NOT that I don’t like thick or fat people, it’s that I lose my interest in them as my interest lies towards smaller women than I am.

But I am not the average.

I have discovered, to my GREAT surprise, that many American men love bigger women. The urban ethnic folk call it “having booty”, and they absolutely go “ape shit” over a bigger voluptuous woman. I mean, really! And they are beyond themselves in how they react to the bigger women. And I mean it, too. The bigger… the better!

Like… really big… is really great. They just love a “pear shaped” woman.

Me, well, robust busty woman with big hair, big smile, and big shoulders are a turn-on. And I am not alone.

And I can see their point of view. I once dated a woman who was much larger than I was, and she had the nicest personality, she loved to cook and I ate well, and Lordy did she have an awesome chest. Purely amazing! So, this one woman altered my perceptions of what I like and favor in a woman. Who would have thought?

So, no matter what you size is… tiny, petite, slim, slender, curvy, athletic, rotund, bouncy… etc, you would be surprised at how others might find you to be attractive. And that is in everything. You NEVER know.

So accept yourself.

Just. As. You. Are.

[3] Stop trying to please your friends

When I was in High School there was a girl that was infatuated with me, and everyone at my work just hassled me and hassled me, and hassled me over it. They kept on saying how ugly she was. Well, I didn’t think that she was ugly, and she sure as heck had a “rocking body”, but I didn’t go out with her after the few precious dates. It wasn’t that I didn’t like her, it was that I hated the non-stop hassling at work, about how ugly she was.

She wasn’t ugly. I thought she was rather strong and handsome in a very womanly way. Like Loni Anderson.

But I listened to the asshole co-workers. Oh, how I regret that decision. Oh, how I lament my ignorance, and my piss-poor decision making ability!

Then one of those co-workers went out with her and they ended up getting married. And I remained single.

Single as in alone with no dates, at all.

Opportunist, jackass, asshole.

She wasn’t ugly. And she had a very appealing body shape. And I didn’t end up with her, even though she was really interested in me. Why?

It was because I listened to my friends and co-workers.

I often think of her. I often wonder what my life would have been if I spent some time with her. i often wonder what it would do to me, and affect my personality, but I never got that chance. I was young and I was a fool. I didn’t know any better. I made mistakes.

But I learned.

Slowly. Unfortunately.

As you get older, you learn that the opinions of others DO NOT MATTER when it comes to your own personal happiness. So shut them off, and go ahead and go after what YOU want. Stop trying to please others.

This goes to both men and women.

On another occasion, I was on a date where my (then) girlfriend brought two of her girlfriends along. I liked the girl. She liked me, but both of her girlfriends disapproved of me. And that was it. Who knows what kind of relationship we could have had. But I do know one thing, it went nowhere because her friends did not like me. I failed in pleasing three girls. I thought that pleasing one would have been enough.

Lesson learned.

Do not listen to your friends. Listen to your heart. Video.

[4] The most important thing that attracts a man is confidence.

It’s the same for women. Isn’t it?

I do not want you all to confuse being aggressive with confidence. I mean being comfortable with you you are, and what you are doing. Confidence. It’s such a turn on. In fact, many men will not ask a confident woman out on a date because they are afraid that she would say “no”.

So be very careful with this power.

You need to be who you are. Be comfortable with your good and your bad traits, and accept them. Think of yourself as a a nice comfortable pair of jeans. Just accessorize yourself as need be and as the occasions arise.

Myself, I am clearly a comfortable tee-shit kind of man, with a clean pair of jeans, and some well worn, but well tended for loafers.

Who are you?

A confident woman, would be able to throw on a dress, put on a thin foundation and some light makeup and run out the door in some low heels without a second thought. Are you that kind of woman?

Be confident on who you are, and what you are. Spend time with friends, and cherish the time with them. Share. Laugh. Enjoy a good drink and good food, and NEVER, ever, ever make a man feel uncomfortable around you. Men are attracted to confident comfortable women. That’s a fact. Video.

Ask any KTV hostess. They will tell you who the most popular girls are. They are the ones smiling, and joking around. Not the ones that are “beautiful” or who “look like fashion models”.

Fact.

This poor girl needs some confidence…

Important day tomorrow yet here I am. I would try to make myself more palatable/acceptable to people by being extra nice to them. Try to please them. At least let’s be the sweet ugly girl than bitter ugly b**ch I thought. No surprise but it doesn’t work. People just walk all over you and don’t treat you well still.

I tried to be cold, strong and someone who stands their ground but I couldn’t. The thing is, my voice gets shaky easily during confrontations and it immediately turns to full on bawling. I once lowkey embarrassed myself in public by crying like that.

So here I am, total people pleaser, doormat, someone who’s taken advantage of, always ditched, flakes out on and yet I take it without standing up once for myself. I hate it. I resent people because I end up giving more than what I get from them. I lost count the times I said sorry when I didn’t have to.

Since I never had good friendships since 17 or so, I don’t know how a healthy adult friendship is supposed to be. I don’t know what to expect, I’m in constant worry “is it okay to share this? Am I burdening this person?”. I never had friends (both online n irl) who I could go and vent to. It feels as if no one will ever understand me and support me.

I’m tired and lonely af. I feel vulnerable and weak.. I’m crying my eyes out as I write this.

Confidence. It’s very important. video.

Do you know what is missing?

Yeah. A smile.

How about this confident woman, instead…video

Or this lovely lass. See how her personality comes out when she smiles… video.

[5] Have a Passion.

So please find out what you love. What are the things that you can go on and on talking about? Food? Dogs? Cats? Horses? Houses? Furniture? Fashion? Televisions Shows? Alcohol? Hunting or fishing? Politics?

Cast iron miniatures?

Gardening? Crafting? Cooking? Trees? Novels?

Find out your passion, and then find a man what has the same passion. You would be surprised. Yes you would.

You see, men are interested in COMPANIONSHIP.

If your passions match that of a man, then he will over look any of your (perceived) faults and really show an interest in you. You see, men are not looking for 100% perfection. They want 50%, and they will work on the other 50% to meet you half way.

You will be amazed at how they will not be able to see the imperfections that you are so worried about. And you will end up scratching your head at the things… the everyday things… that you do that really “turn him on”.

Something as silly as this video, perhaps.

And…

Here’s a woman who loves to cook. Being able to cook well is on my top personal requirements, and this gal is cooking bacon with peppers, onion and garlic. OMG! video.

I used to date (well we actually lived together) with a very attractive fashion model. I mean she was gorgeous. And though she was amazingly beautiful and we did eventually break up, the thing that attracted me to her was our shared love of poetry. And there she would sit listening to me read my poetry over coffee and absorb it all in.

I loved that.

Alas, she had faults that I could not bear, but that is immaterial. What attracted me to her was our shared passions.

From HERE

Max was peeved. “I am so sick of boring profiles on the dating sites. The first thing people want is to hold hands and walk with someone at sunset on the beach. The second thing is to cuddle up on a couch and watch TV. Why can’t they think of something more interesting?”

I explained to Max that this yearning for sharing quality time is a universal because it reflects close companionship. This is what we all need and desire. It’s especially vital for older folks who must move at a slower pace and have the opportunity to savour shared quality time.

“But I’m not slow!”, declared Max. “At 68, I can keep up with the 40 year olds when we cycle round the bay on Sunday mornings. I want the companionship of a woman who can ride her bike with me at least for two hours into the country and pitch a tent an enjoy the peace and quiet of the bush”.

Where Max wanted active companionship, John was different. He was the film buff who enjoyed nothing more than holding hands with his woman for a film-fest and then having dinner and debriefing the film.

Both men could find their ideal companion. The significant thing about companionship is that there’s no “have tos” – it’s just time shared where you feel bonded and content.

But is companionship better than sex? It’s actually expressed in good sex!

Trust is an essential ingredient of companionship and trust is essential for good sex.

Kevin believes that love is also essential for good sex. He said, “Sex is empty without love. Sure the physical sensations are exciting and pleasurable but it dissipates quickly and leaves in its wake a sense of longing for what was missing. If loving intimacy is missing I feel both sad and upset during the act, like I’ve used the other and abused my own values – a vacuum forms and I feel it in the pit of my stomach – and in my heart. When everything is in place though and sex is love-making – there is nothing that compares!”

Seniors can be sexual in order to express affection, passion, love, loyalty and appreciation of life as opposed to merely a sexual release.

I acknowledge that some older folks become very limited in being able to engage in enthusiastic love-making. For them, non sexual touch is also magical. An arm around a loved one, a small caress on the back or a brush along the cheek with the back of hand are affirming, reassuring and reflect a partnership where the couple are caring companions.

To be truly loving, a relationship would need to work on a number of levels – spiritual, mental, physical, emotional. All of these are intricately interwoven and in balance, with caring companionship, can enhance longevity and quality of life.

[6] Change what you don’t like.

If there is something that you don’t like about yourself, don’t tolerate it. Change it.

As we get older, our faults become deeper and more ingrained. Our problems multiply, and our issues become real personality faults. Change what you cannot bear.

  • For some people it is their job.
  • For others it is their negative friends, or their over-bearing family.
  • For still others it is their appearance.
  • What ever it is that bothers you… change it.

We haven’t been taught to change things, but rather to deal with them; to accept them. And that generates anxiety and worry…

We have been worrying ever since we were little about making people angry or disappointed. These are worries that negatively affect us and are not at all beneficial for us.

Are you the type of person that thinks that they worry too much? Have you ever thought that you worry more than others? If that’s so, it’s time for you to change that situation, because you probably don’t like it, right?

Not worrying excessively doesn’t imply that we’re free of worrying, but it does mean we should learn to not give it as much importance as we currently are.

Many of the worries that currently hassle us are pretty silly. Do they really deserve all of our attention? Everybody else doesn’t give them their full attention, you shouldn’t either. Start changing today.

It’s incredible how much your life can change when you decide to change how you think. There are many things that have been instilled in us from our childhood, considerations that torment us when we become adults because something is just simply not working.

So do not worry about the things that you don’t like. You change them into something that you DO like.

If it is your weight, then you can exercise, and change your eating habits. I did not say diet. I said change what your eat, how much you eat, when you eat and all the rest.

If it is your shape, and exercise won’t do it, then sculpture your body.

If it is your outfits, clothing or whatever, you have the power to change it. Bleach away the old and embrace in the new.

[7] Don’ t force the change, embrace it.

Never force things. Always adapt to them.

Maybe you wish to be slim and petite, but you are tall, chunky and robust. No problem. Embrace it. Personally, I like robust women. But you need to know how to wear the proper clothes and how to carry yourself. Here’s some more robust girls that are fine with tight clothing.

It’s the same with me. If I wear tight fitting clothing, I need to exercise on my push-ups and sit-ups to make my frame fit the clothing. Otherwise, I look like an old man with a pot belly so big that it looks like I am nine months pregnant.

So what I do is wear bigger clothing, looser clothing. I just look like a regular guy. You cannot tell that I wear size 2xxL, instead of a M.

This trick is the same with women. Now some more robust women can wear tighter clothing and “pull it off”, but it’s difficult.

Video.

Accept who you are. Then adapt your lifestyle to fit. video

The rule is a simple one.

Tight clothes go on thin bodies. Loose clothes go on thick bodies.

The thicker, or fatter you are, the looser the clothing should be.

The girl below has a “barrel” shaped body, but look how absolutely gorgeous she looks in the nice wide flowing dress. She displays her best features; hair, eyes, cleavage, shoulders, and minimizes the things she doesn’t like.

The heavier you are the looser the clothes should be.

So maybe you wore tight fitting clothes when you were in your teens, today, being twice that size means that you must adapt with the changes and adapt to the newer, more mature you.

Don’t live in the past.

Accept who you are right now.

This is how good a plus sized woman looks when she is wearing roomy clothes that fit her. WOW! Video.

[8] Good enough is good enough

Don’t wait for the perfect relationship to come. Go forth and make friends. One day, one of those friends will end up being the guy that you would like to settle down with. For some people this is quick, but for others it takes a lot of time. Don’t rush it.

Friends first.

Then something better later on, if you want.

Don’t look for perfection. Just look for friends. Given enough friends, you will be able to find the very special person, but the important key is getting out there and meeting him.

Remember; perfection is an ideal. It is not actually possible to obtain.

Do not seek perfection in yourself or in others. It will only cause you heartache and despair. Accept things, people and situations as they are. Not as you want them to be.’

It’s called being pragmatic.

[9] Turn off your preconceived notions.

Men are men.

Women are women.

Cats are cats.

If you think that you are going to change a cat to fit your lifestyle, then you are wholly mistaken. The same is true with just about every other animal, and that includes men and women.

If you are looking for a mate then get to know them first. Over time they will change to fit your needs, and you will change to fit their needs. You do not need to force this as it will happen naturally. But what you do need to realize that in a loving relationship, there is always room to grow… to expand… and to accept.

Be realistic about what men are, how they think, and what their desires are. It is neither a 14 year old teenager’s fantasy, or a feminist nightmare. It is something else entirely.

[10] What a man REALLY wants in a relationship.

I have a post on this. And it boils down to the simple rule of “best fit”.

There are about ten major things that a man looks for in a woman. If you can meet most of those items, you can definitively snag yourself a good decent man that would make a fine husband.

But if just meet the top three, you have a very good chance at a mutually sustaining long-term relationship.

Remember this simple fact; Men play the percentages.

Go here, for the detailed article…What Men Want

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[11] Be the best YOU that you can be.

Be clean. have nice habits. Dress in clothes that fits you. Avoid bad people, toxic people, and horrible bosses.

Be kind. Show compassion. Take the time to make others happy. Participate in your community and always do good things.

Be the Rufus. Video.

Not convinced? Here’s six minutes of being a Rufus, and showing compassion. video. 256MB.

Still not convinced? Here’s another three minutes of being a Rufus and showing compassion. video. 78MB

[12] Desperate times call for desperate measures

Forget about the free dating sites. (Or almost free computer dating sites.)

Go to a professional and pay the money.

Get a real assessment of your chances in obtaining dates and meeting desirable men. You will be surprised with the results. If they are good, they will help you and perform an entire “package image makeover”. They are worth their weight in gold.

[13] Smile

A smile is everything. video

The world might be falling apart, you might be ugly and have the body of a whale, but your smile will be what people will remember.

Never forget that.

Make a difference by smiling big and huge and radiating for the entire world to see.

[14] Nothing lasts

You might believe that you have found Mr. Right, and for a set period of time everything is just great. But over time, people learn, change, adapt and all sorts of things happen. For many of us, it means that often we all change. And when we change, we tend to move in different directions and our relationship might become strained.

There is nothing good or bad about this. It is just the way life is. You need to accept it, and realize that you have a window or an opportunity to get the best that you can in life. Accept what you have right NOW, and realize that things… all kinds of things can upset that perfect balance that you are living. So enjoy it. Savor it, and by all means NEVER compare yourself to another person.

Conclusion

I think that this gal is going to take some of my advice. In any event she has moved on, and MM is just a stepping stone on her life road. I hope that I performed some beneficial role in it. She said thank you and moved on. And that was that.

Don’t get caught up in the “woe is me” syndrome.

What ever you do, keep in mind that you are perfect as you are. Improve upon your perfection, and seek out others who share your interests. Get out, and go forth into the world with confidence and gusto.

Do not try to live up to the expectations of others, just know that somewhere out there is someone who understands you. Seek them out.

And know that you might have to travel a bit to find this person. Do not be afraid. Take the fist step in a journey that will continue for the rest of your life. I believe in you.

Do not try to live up to the expectations of others, just know that somewhere out there is someone who understands you. Seek them out.

Do you want some more?

I have more posts in my Relationship Index here…

Relationships

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The story about how I got married to my Chinese wife.

This is the story about how I got married to my wife in China. As such, this is my dedication to all the others who have to plow through obstacles to be together. Here is what to look out for, and how getting married in China works.

“Sometimes this culture of controlling their kids and who they marry then gets passed down from generation to generation..."

- The moms of 'Crazy Rich Asians' discuss the diversity of motherhood

I know all the details are too tedious and boring for casual reading. So I am not going to go into the details.

However, there is a music video 听见下雨的声音 that describes what it was like for me and wife to get married. I want to dedicate this post using this video as the narrative.

Pause. Watch the three minute video. Return.

This is the way it happened. I tell you the truth.

Please kindly note that this post has multiple embedded videos. It is important to view them. If they fail to load, all you need to do is to reload your browser.

Let it be well understood that getting married to the love of my life was was not easy. It wasn’t easy. There were all sorts of hurdles in the way, and yes per Chinese tradition she was to be married off to another boy. This guy was richer, better, more attractive than me.

It was an arrangement made many many years ago. It was made when I was still in elementary school, and while my love knew about it, she somehow felt that she could get around it.

No. She could not.

He was better than me in every measurable way. But somehow we overcame all those obstacles. There is a music video that aptly describes what it was like for us to get together, and I refer to it throughout this post.

Have I been treated unfairly by a boyfriend’s mother because I was not their kind of Asian? 

Absolutely! (Two now-ex boyfriends, in fact.)

I was never going to be good enough because I wasn’t the right shade of Asian. I didn’t come from the same background, go to an Ivy League school, or have the right last name.

-ThoughtCo

Yes, my background is certainly more capable than the humble clerk in the music video. Yet, this is a timeless story that others, just like me and my wife, have gone through. This is my dedication to all the others who have to plow through obstacles to be together.

This is my dedication to all the others (maybe others like you, perhaps) who have to plow through obstacles to be together. This is my dedication for all you out there who are in love and are fighting to be together. This is my dedication for you, and for your love.

Love In the 7-11
This boy and this girl loves each other. He is working at a 7-11 as a clerk. He doesn’t make enough money, but he is a hard worker. He is kind, honest, and loyal. She doesn’t love him for his money. She doesn’t love him for his family, the car he drives, or the school he went to. She loves him for who he is.

It’s true.

In fact, if you want to get married to a Chinese guy or girl in China, you WILL need their parents approval. This is codified in law, as well as the documents that all families have. If you get married, your name will go into a household register, and who controls that document? Well… the parents do.

Unless you have their approval, you will not be able to get married in China.

This is because in China, you will need more than love. You will need HEART.

This means that love will not be enough. You will need to make your relationship work. Not only functionally, but you will need to obtain the approval of parents. Many, of whom will have natural biases against you.

These biases are many, and depending on where your love lives, it can include anything from your familial background to your earning potential.

Father chases the boy away.
Chinese parents will come with automatic biases that they will judge you by. This will include your earning potential. This will include your intelligence. This will include your family’s social standing, and this will include your ability to be a good provider. Chinese families are traditional.

So yes. You will need to love, and you will need to work. You will need to prove yourself, but also you will need to fight for your love.

More so than Westerners, many Chinese view dating as a pragmatic affair. It’s not always about finding love so much as it is about finding a potential marriage partner who fits with one’s own ideals. For example, although many men get married without a house and a car, Chinese women will often say that they’re looking for these things because that’s the sort of person who probably has a stable career and will be able to provide for her and their future children in the long-term. It’s not always about love. As one contestant on China’s most popular dating show put it, "I’d rather cry in a BMW than laugh on a bicycle."

-ThoughtCo

You must, of course, fight. I don’t mean put on some boxing gloves. I mean push yourself, and push yourself to your limits. You need to make the money to prove that you are worthy. You need to be a little better than everyone else. You need to show to your mate that you are worthy of them.

Working boy.
He is a worker. He doesn’t laze around. He works, and earns money. He works at three or four jobs and saves up all his money. (7-11 clerk, deliver food, deliver newspapers, and janitor)

In this video, a poor boy is working all the time so that he can be married to the girl of his dreams. This girl is the one. You know what I am talking about?

The ONE; that one very special person that you want to share your life with.

Ah, but.. But he doesn’t have a college degree. He is of limited means, so he works at what he can do. He works multiple jobs and saves and saves his pennies. He works and works. He does his best, and yes it is dirty, and demeaning work.

Father has a husband lined up.
But in China, love is not enough to form the basis of a family. You need money, connections and potential. Her father already has picked up a nice promising man for her to marry. Here in the video, he is “interviewing” him as a potential husband for his daughter. This is a often referred to as a “date” in China.

Well, the father does not like him. Instead, he chooses a rich boy, one who is upwardly mobile for his daughter. And she, as a good Chinese daughter, listens to her father.

She obeys her father.

This is a very sweet version of the song from the video, sung by Kiniyo. I place it here so that you, the reader, can listen to it now.


I think Kiniyo does a nice job singing about this very, very common situation that Chinese boys and girls must endure.

This is not fifty years ago. This is today. This is contemporary China, and yes this practice is still very common. It is the most common way for a person to get married in China. However, today (in most of China) they tend to be a little softer about who the daughter is to marry.

As such, they give them a year or two to find a mate. If they don’t find a boy, then the parents will find one for them.

Every parent is different, of course, but in general Chinese parents expect to be more involved in their children’s relationships. It’s not uncommon for parents and grandparents to set their children up on blind dates with suitable matches they’ve found.

If their child’s significant other doesn’t meet with the parents’ approval, continuing the relationship will be very difficult. That’s why if you’re dating someone who is Chinese, it’s very important you make a good first impression with the parents!
-ThoughtCo

In richer families, like my wife’s, they are often very strict and particular on who will marry. They are absolute in this regards, most especially if you come from certain regions in China. Like some of the richer sections of Hong Kong, Shanghai, Taiwan, or Beijing. Or in certain provinces or cultural enclaves like Wenzhou.

And, in certain areas (regions) of China, dating a 外国人 (wài guó rén) – a non-Chinese foreigner, is absolutely out of the question.

The father will decide who will marry his daughter.

Father approval.
The father has picked up a socially and financially mobile husband out for her and he tells her that she WILL marry this boy. This is the Chinese way and it is still very common. And yes. It happened to me.

But you know, love is the glue that builds a family. Not a document or diploma. It’s not how good you look or how well connected you are. It is the love that binds the family together and enables the family to persist through hardship.

Love is what you need to make things last decade after decade. Love has a purpose and there is a reason why it exists. When you love someone you are connected to them, and you can “feel” them and what is going on with them.

Yes. You can “feel” them, and this is a real connection.

The girl feels the boy.
When you love someone you are “attuned” to that person. You can “feel” them and are aware of them to a certain extent. This awareness varies from person to person, but it does exist.

In China, especially if you come from a wealthy or prominent family, you WILL marry who they tell you to marry. This is the way that it is done, and I can tell you that I encountered this situation personally.

This is what it is like. You need to have parental approval to get married in China.

If you have any questions or confusion about this, then perhaps you should get your head out of the sand and watch the movie “Rich Crazy Asians“. That movie had a number of scenes that really reflected how parents influence the people their children marry.

Mother from Rich Crazy Asians.
The Chinese parents exert a tremendous amount of influence on their children. They expect their children to excel in life, and they will make sure and enforce who they will marry.
Crazy Rich Asians is a 2013 novel by Kevin Kwan. Kwan stated that his intention in writing the novel was to "introduce a contemporary Asia to a North American audience". He claimed the novel was loosely based on his own childhood in Singapore. The novel became a bestseller and was followed by two sequels, China Rich Girlfriend in 2015 and Rich People Problems in 2017. A film adaptation of the novel was released on August 15, 2018.  
-Crazy Rich Asians - Wikipedia

This influence can be an enormous burden and hardship on the child. This is especially true when they love someone, and their parents forbid them to be together. While it is true that many people can get married in China and avoid family approval, this is not true for everyone.

There are still many families that take marriage and future family composition quite seriously.

Midway through Crazy Rich Asians, Michelle Yeoh–who plays the disapproving mother of Constance Wu’s love interest and would-be husband–tells Wu’s character, “You will never be enough.”  -Fastcompany

In the MV by Jay Chou titled 听见下雨的声音, this is quite realistically portrayed.

The pain of being a rich Chinese daughter.
This fact of life, and Chinese truth, can be very difficult. In the case with most Chinese daughters who love another boy, they find that they must marry someone that they do not love. Meanwhile they are forbidden to be with the one who they love.

In the video, the boy saves up all of his money.

That’s what a guy does. he saves up everything and than gives it all to the girl of his dreams. This might sound so strange as it doesn’t fit the progressive liberal reality of what a family is. It is the way traditional families are structures, and in traditional families, the man works as hard as he can and give all of it to his wife.

Not some of it. Not most of it.

All of it.

ALL OF IT.

Money saved up.
The boy works hard and gives everything to his girl. In China, a family man gives 100% of what he earns straight to his wife. Not “most” of his money. Not 99.5% of his money. He gives ALL OF HIS MONEY, as his wife and his family is everything to him. That is what a traditional life, and a traditional family is all about.

That is how the dowry came into being. It was a way to show that the boy loves the girl well enough to give everything to her.

That is what a dowry is. But in today’s world, it isn’t enough.

Often in China, the mechanism for getting married was set in place many, many years earlier. The love of your life; your dream girl… THE ONE, might be promised to someone else. And the entire community might know of it. And there might not be anything that you can do about it.

She will be obligated to marry who ever her parents tell her to, or else the entire face of the family will be in jeopardy.

Just like in the English expression “saving face,” the “face” we’re talking about here isn’t a literal face. Rather, it’s a metaphor for a person’s reputation amongst their peers. So, for example, if you hear it said that someone “has face,” that means that they have a good reputation. Someone who doesn’t have face is someone who has a very bad reputation. 
-Face Culture in China

But life is not that simple.

Love isn’t enough. Money isn’t enough.

You need the blessings of the parents. Without those blessings, you will be absolutely unsuccessful in getting married or having a family register in China. Without a family register, you cannot have children.

Chinese Household Register.
This is what a Household Register looks like in China. It is a book. It is kept by your parents, and when you get married, your name and your spouse is added to that register, and your parents keep the book. If they do not approve of your love, you can never get your partner added to the book.

You need the blessings of the parents.

Family history
The household register can trace your family’s genealogy back many, many generations.

But, there are often other forces and other situations that will define what happens in your life. There are complex relationships, long held debts, and familial responsibilities that you can be caught up in and not even know about.

The parents will have a duty to make sure that you obey the familial obligations.

An arranged marriage.
The girl is going to her pre-arranged marriage. This is common in China, and this is what happened to us in my life. You might think that this is all a nice made up tale. It isn’t. It is real life in China. It makes us better understand the importance of love and relationships.

But you know, sometimes being wealthy, being kind, saving money, working hard… isn’t enough. The things running against you two being together are too large. The obstacles are too formidable.

The ultimate goal of most relationships in China is marriage. Young Chinese adults are often under a lot of pressure from the elders in their family to find a good husband or wife and get married relatively early.

This pressure is particularly acute for women, who can be called “left-over women” if they pass the age of 26 or 27 without finding a husband. Men can find themselves similarly left-over if they wait too long to get married.

This is a big part of why dating is often taken so seriously. Chinese young people often feel like they don’t have the time to “play the field” that their Western counterparts are afforded by society.
-ThoughtCo
It can be difficult.
Sometimes everything is just impossible to overcome. You cannot do it on your own. All you can do is your best, and often doing it alone won’t be enough.

When that happens, you just cannot give up. You can never give up. You must keep on going and never give up.

I know that it will seem impossible. It will seem difficult, and you will look at what you have; your resources, and see that are are sorely lacking. You will see the world trying, and doing so successfully, to take away what you (in your heart) yearns for.

It doesn’t matter.

You must never give up.

Never. Give. Up.

I am dead-on serious about this. If what you love is so darn important to you then you must fight for it. You must work and strive for a strong life with the one; yes, (here we go again) that ONE person in your life that is THE ONE.

Never. Never ever give up.

Build up your life

You must fight for the things that are important to you.

Seriously. You MUST fight for the things worth having.

You must fight for the important things. And no, often you will not be ready. You won’t have enough money. You won’t have the right job. You won’t have the family blessings. You won’t have what it takes. But…

But… you MUST fight for the things that are important to you.

You fight for what you love.
Well, maybe all your plans fall flat on their face. Maybe everything collapses. Maybe it all goes to deep shit. It doesn’t matter. You keep on fighting for what you love.

One of the great things about love is the strength of it when it is shared. Yes things can be impossible, and the obstacles can be far too great. However, when both of you are working TOGETHER, there is nothing that can come between your love.

As long as both of you…

Both of you share the same kind of love…

Is it too late.
It is very easy to follow the parents, peers, and society. But if the love is strong enough, and the heart is fierce enough, you can make decisions before it is too late.

There is nothing that should come between your love for each other. That is why love is so important in a family. It is the glue that outlasts money, that outlasts, beauty and that outlasts family commitments.

But, love will melt away unless you desire it with all of your heart. You will need to make some difficult choices in your life, and there will be others who will not understand. You will need to make them, and it might not be all that easy.

Make the decision.
One of the most difficult things that a person might have to do is to disobey their parents and follow their heart. Doing so, especially in Asian cultures, will come at a cost, and there will be a price. But, only you know if it will be worth it. You have to decide. It is a red-pill, a black and white moment.

Things can become uncomfortable. But you know…

The things that are important must be fought for.

In China, and in most of Asia, you might need to disobey your parents. In my case, we ended up getting married in Hong Kong because her parents did not approve of her marriage to an American. I understand that in certain circles in Singapore, or Indonesia it is even stricter with religious and social strata considerations.

And don’t even get me started with India…

Follow your heart.
The better things in life are the harder to get. Even though your family might want the best for you, only you know in your heart what is important to you. You do need to follow your heart.

Always follow your heart.

Always follow your heart.

Your heart will tell you what to do. Your feelings and your emotions will guide you. Listen to them.

You need to listen to your feelings.

Remember, feelings and emotions, are the glue that hold families together. When you are younger, the emotions are very strong. There is a biological reason for this. Use it.

Listen to your feelings.

Follow them and let them lead you.

You must fight for love.
When there are things that matter to you, you need to FIGHT for them. You just cannot be passive about the things that are important to you. You must fight for the things that have meaning, and others might be hurt in the process. But you need to put your needs first.

And just like the music video… and just like the fairy tales… there actually can be a “happily ever after”. Just remember that you need to fight for the things that matter to you, and if you find the ONE… that ONE person that you want to spend the rest of your life with, then both of you should fight together.

You can achieve your dreams when both of you two are fighting together for the same thing…

LOVE is worth fighting for.
There can be a happily ever after. You just need to believe and follow through. Don’t give up. Don’t you ever give up. If there is one thing worth fighting for in this earth it is LOVE.

If there is one thing worth fighting for in this earth… it is love.

I really believe that if both of you share the same emotions, and both of you are willing to have a traditional, conservative family with a solid grounding in familial roles, there will be nothing that you cannot accomplish. [This is not a political issue. Many progressive democrats have conservative, traditional families. Like the Obama’s for instance.]

A traditional, conservative family is a time-tested 100% guarantee of family success with over 5000 years of documented proof. It is a family where the man works and gives 100% of his labors to this family. The wife handles the budget, the household and teaches the children.
The two family types and how they work.

While you might end up fighting against the wishes and desires of the parents to get married, do not neglect the importance of your new family. Establish it with a solid foundation.

Love.

Happily ever after.
And they lived happily ever after. And no it’s not a fairy tale. This is real life you all. This is the real deal. This is what happened in my life, and this is what can happen in your life as well.

Fairy tales DO come true. There is, actually is, a rainbow with a pot of gold under it.

Hugs as my favorite kind of love.

Conclusion

My life was from my time and based on my situation. I could get all involved telling the story about this conditions, and that condition, as every situation is complex. There is nothing really simple about relationships. Once you start documenting your own, you will find that it gets complex really… really quickly.

Yet, fundamentally, my story is one of love and cultural complexities. In fact, I think that a foreigner marrying an Asian, whether they are from China or some other nation, will also encounter some situations of relative similarity to mine.

And yes, while I wrote this little post about myself, it’s really about YOU the reader.

I want to impress to you that you, I mean everyone, needs to have the fundamentals in their life “locked down”, put in place and secured. That means a life and relationship founded on love, and created with a solid emotional foundation, and structured in a proven traditional way.

It’s a winning combination.

It really is.

It is a little like this…

The Video that I refer to.

In this post I repeatedly referred to a music video (MV) that I believe reflects the story that I am trying to relate. Earlier in the post, I embedded the song sung by Kiniyo. I think that she really “nailed” the emotions and the feelings of the situation quite clearly. Indeed, if you want to get “goosebumps” on you arms, you should go to a concert where everyone is singing this song together.

Who says that this is an uncommon experience?

Like this version of the song sung by A-Lin. Watch the people in the audience. Yes, this situation is more common that we in the West would assume. Check it out…

Now, the song (and video) is by a famous Taiwanese Chinese singer named Jay Chou. His Chinese name is 周杰伦. The name of the song is 听见下雨的声音 .

If you have access to non-restricted Internet (the non You-Tube internet), you can find the video at any of these websites;

If you are so inclined, you can see the lyrics (in Chinese) alongside the English translation HERE.

A non-Asian views the video

The thing is that this is Asian – Chinese culture. It is difficult for a non-Asian to understand it. They will make all kinds of inaccurate assumptions on what is going on.

Here we see an American chick watching the MV movie and is confused by what is going on.

An American girl views the video.
An American girl comments on the video when viewing it the first time. She does so based upon the visual clues and makes erroneous assumptions as she does not understand Chinese Asian culture.

Yes, she understands that the father doesn’t like the boy, and that they are rich, but she doesn’t understand that she MUST obey her father. And, she doesn’t understand that they are meeting at her house simply because that is the place where they can meet. (She orders take-out just so that she can meet him.)

Oh, and that “store” where she get the top is not a store. It’s her father’s factory, and she picked out a top for the boy to wear, and the father says no. So, it is not just any store.

American watches video 2
Even seeing the MV, and not understanding the lyrics or the cultural framework, you can be well moved by the video.

No, girl, it’s not as easy as you think.

She doesn’t understand that the boy is working four jobs, it’s not an option for him. And that mark on his face is a birthmark, and yes there are many people in China that have these.

She doesn’t understand that this is a formal arranged marriage, and who cares if he is handsome, wealthy and your parents like him. If there is no love, there cannot be a family.

Watching the video 3
To truly understand what is going on and why, you need to have some understanding of Asian culture. This is NOT America. This is China, and things can be very complicated.

She doesn’t understand that when the girl gets out of the car and runs to the boy it is not a cliché, that there are a lot of things going on and risks that she is taking are serious ones. This is not America, girl. This is China.

She might hate the story line because it is so cliché, but this is China today, and these things and events do actually happen. Maybe not in America they don’t, but in China they most especially do happen.

And yes, happy endings do actually happen.

Oh, BTW, I'm not trying to get in her grill. She just doesn't understand Chinese - Asian culture, and thus missed some of the important elements of the story. Besides, later on she comments on another one of my favorite Jay Chou videos. And, it's closer to what is going on.

The Song the MV is based upon.

This is a live version by Jay Chou.

Afterwards

After the hardship will be a period of calm and happiness. I promise.

It happened to me, and it will happen to you.

About Traditional Families

I am a big believer that you must build up a life with the ONE who you love. As such, there is a time-tested method to make your love last a lifetime.

That method is known as the “traditional conservative” method.

The trouble is that it is just about extinct in the United States today. It is not taught anywhere, and there are all sorts of distortions of what it actually is. Well I talk about it and go into get lengths to explain it.

You can read about it here…

The two family types and how they work.

Links about China

Popular Music of China
Chinese weapons systems
Chinese motor sports
End of the Day Potato
Dog Shit
Dancing Grandmothers
Dance Craze
When the SJW movement took control of China
Family Meal
Freedom & Liberty in China
Ben Ming Nian
Beware the Expat
Fake Wine
Fat China
Business KTV
Chinese apartment houses
Chinese Culture Snapshots
Rural China
Chinese New Year

China and America Comparisons

Playground Comparisons
SJW
The Last Straw
Leaving the USA
Diversity Initatives
Democracy
Travel outside
10 Misconceptions about China
Top Ten Misconceptions

The Chinese Business KTV Experience

This is the real deal. Forget about all that nonsense that you find in the British tabloids and an occasional write up in the American liberal press. This is the reality. Read or not.

KTV1
KTV2
KTV3
KTV4
KTV5
KTV6
KTV7
KTV8
KTV9
KTV10
KTV11
KTV12
KTV13
KTV14
KTV15
KTV16
KTV17
KTV18
KTV19
KTV20

Learning About China

Pretty Girls 1
Pretty Girls 2
Pretty Girls 3
Pretty Girls 4
Pretty Girls 5

Contemporaneous Chinese Music

This is a series of posts that discuss contemporaneous popular music in China. It is a wide ranging and broad spectrum of travel, and at that, all that I am able to provide is the flimsiest of overviews. However, this series of posts should serve as a great starting place for investigation and enjoyment.

Part 1 - Popular Music of China
Part 3 -Popular music of China.
Part 3 - The contemporaneous music of China.
part 3B - The contemporaneous music of China.
Part 4 - The contemporaneous popular music of China.
Part 5 - The contemporaneous music of China.
Part 5B - The popular music of China.
Part 5C - The music of contemporary China.
Part D - The popular music of China.
Part 5E - A happy Joe.
Part 5F - The contemporaneous music of China.
Part 5F - The popular music of China.
Post 6 - The contemporaneous music of China.
Post 7 - The contemporaneous music of China.
Post 8 - The contemporaneous music of China.
Part 9 - The contemporaneous music of China.
Part 10 - Music of China.
Post 11 - The contemporaneous music of China.

Parks in China

Parks in China - 1
Pars in China - 2
Parks in China - 3
Visiting a park in China - 4
High Speed Rail in China
Visiting a park in China - 5
Beautiful China part 6
Parks in China - 7
Visiting a park in China - 8

Articles & Links

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