We are just a group of retired spooks that discuss things that you’ll not find anywhere else. It makes us unique. Take a look around. Learn a thing or two.
Here are some pictures that I have collected from all over, and for Lord only knows why. Before I discard them off my HD, I’ve decided to share them with all of you out there is Internet-person land.
SHTF Romanian Style
The Progressive Dream
Swiss Bf-109’s
Conan gives his advice on life…
Three types of men
Hillery explains her plans to her followers…
Hoe squad at the ADC
Enlarged detail in the “Drone Hoax”
SHTF imagery
The Four Conspirators
Saint Joseph’s Church
How the business-world works
Norman Thomas Quote
Symbology Coincidences
Anon discovers vote fraud…
Suburban ideal
Time for some soup…
MK-ULTRA Film Purge
Leave on time…
The CIA heads for the hills…
Intention Imagery
Bill Clinton?
She’s a real cow…
The Pearly Gates
Now for the rest of the story…
China on the dark side of the Moon
Being a boy in the 1960’s
Grilled Ruben Sandwiches
The Seven Rules of Life
Chicken, Beer and slaw…
Dickenson’s Political Spectrum
BLT with peaches on the side.
Consort Ranking for Chinese Kings
Prerequisites for Draining the Swamp
How to cut a club sandwich.
Purchasing Power of the USD
The American Dream
When things go wrong…
Tired Car
Progressive Liberal Militia to go after Deplorable Nazi Racists.
Posts Regarding Life and Contentment
Here are
some other similar posts on this venue. If you enjoyed this post, you
might like these posts as well. These posts tend to discuss growing up
in America. Often, I like to compare my life in America with the society
within communist China. As there are some really stark differences
between the two.
More Posts about Life
I have
broken apart some other posts. They can best be classified about ones
actions as they contribute to happiness and life. They are a little
different, in subtle ways.
Articles & Links
You’ll not
find any big banners or popups here talking about cookies and privacy
notices. There are no ads on this site (aside from the hosting ads – a
necessary evil). Functionally and fundamentally, I just don’t make money
off of this blog. It is NOT monetized. Finally, I don’t track you
because I just don’t care to.
I like this story. It’s a story that I read years ago, and it contains elements that I really like. (If you care.) It’s just a story, but it’s a fun story, and I hope that you (the reader) will appreciate it.
THE OLD lane from the farmhouse to the letter box down by the road was the same dusty trail that he remembered from eons before. The deep summer dust stirred as his feet moved slowly and haltingly. The marks of his left foot were deep and firm as when he had last walked the lane, but where his right foot moved there was a ragged, continuous line with irregular depressions and there was the sharp imprint of a cane beside the dragging footprints.
He looked up to the sky a moment as an echelon of planes from the advanced trainer base fifty miles away wheeled overhead. A nostalgia seized him, an overwhelming longing for the men he had known —and for Ruth.
He was home; he had come back alive, but with so many gone who would never come back, what good was it?
With Ruth gone it was no good at all. For an instant his mind burned with pain and his eyes ached as if a bomb-burst had blinded him as he remembered that day in the little field hospital where he had watched her die and heard the enemy planes overhead.
Afterwards, he had gone up alone, against orders, determined to die with her, but take along as many Nazis as he could.
But he hadn’t died. He had come out of it with a bullet-shattered leg and sent home to rust and die slowly over many years.
He shook his head and tried to fling the thoughts out of his mind. It was wrong. The doctors had warned him—
He resumed his slow march, half dragging the all but useless leg behind him. This was the same lane down which he had run so fast those summer days so long ago. There was a swimming hole and a fishing pond a quarter of a mile away. He tried to dim his vision with half-shut eyes and remember those pleasant days and wipe out all fear and bitterness from his mind.
It was ten o’clock in the morning and Mr. McAfee, the rural postman, was late, but Jim Ward could see his struggling, antique Ford raising a low cloud of dust a mile down the road.
Jim leaned heavily upon the stout cedar post that supported the mailbox and when Mr. McAfee rattled up he managed to wave and smile cheerily.
Mr. McAfee adjusted his spectacles on the bridge of his nose with a rapid trombone manipulation.
“Bless me, Jim, it’s good to see you up and around!”
“Pretty good to be up.” Jim managed to force enthusiasm into his voice. But he knew he couldn’t stand talking very long to old Charles McAfee as if everything had not changed since the last time.
“Any mail for the Wards, today?”
The postman shuffled the fistful of mail. “Only one.”
Jim glanced at the return address block and shrugged. “I’m on the sucker lists already. They don’t lose any time when they find out there’s still bones left to pick on. You keep it.”
He turned painfully and faced toward the house. “I’ve got to be getting back. Glad to have seen you, Mr. McAfee.”
“Yeah, sure, Jim. Glad to have seen you. But I . . . er . . . got to deliver the mail—” He held the letter out hopefully.
“O.K.” Jim laughed sharply and grasped the circular.
He went only as far as the giant oak whose branches extended far enough to overshadow the mailbox. He sat down in the shade with his back against the great bole and tried to watch the echelon still soaring above the valley through the rifts in the leaf coverage above him. After a time he glanced down at the circular letter from which his fingers were peeling little fragments of paper. Idly, he ripped open the envelope and glanced at the contents. In cheap, garish typograph with splatterings of red and purple ink the words seemed to be trying to jump at him.
SERVICEMAN—WHAT OF THE FUTURE?
You have come back from the wars. You have found life different than you knew it before, and much that was familiar is gone. But new things have come, new things that are here to stay and are a part of the world you are going to live in.
Have you thought of the place you will occupy? Are you prepared to resume life in the ways of peace?
WE CAN HELP YOU
Have you heard of the POWER CO-ORDINATOR? No, of course you haven’t
because it has been a hush-hush secret source of power that has been
turning the wheels of war industries for many months. But now the secret
of this vast source of new power can be told, and the need for
hundreds, yes, thousands of trained technicians—such as you, yourself,
may become—will be tremendous in the next decade.
LET US PROVE TO YOU
Let us prove to you that we know what we are talking about. We are so certain that you, as a soldier trained in intricate operations of the machines of war, will be interested in this almost miraculous new source of power and the technique of handling it that we are willing to send you absolutely FREE the first three lessons of our twenty-five lesson course that will train you to be a POWER CO-ORDINATOR technician.
Let us prove it to you. Fill out the inclosed coupon and mail it today!
Don’t just shrug and throw this circular away as just another advertisement. MAIL THE COUPON NOW!
Jim Ward smiled reminiscently at the style of the circular. It reminded him of Billy Hensley and the time when they were thirteen. They sent in all the clipped and filled-out coupons they could find in magazines. They had samples of soap and magic tricks and catalogues and even a live bird came as the result of one. They kept all the stuff in Hensley’s attic until Billy’s dad finally threw it all out.
Impulsively, in whimsical tribute to the gone-forever happiness of those days, Jim Ward scratched his name and address in pencil and told the power co-ordinators to send him their three free lessons.
Mr. McAfee had only another mile to go up the road before he came to the end and returned past the Ward farm to Kramer’s Forks. Jim waited and hailed him.
“Want to take another letter?”
The postman halted the clattering Ford and jumped down. “What’s that?”
Jim repeated his request and held up the stamped reply card.
“Take this with you?”
Mr. McAfee turned it over and read every word on the back of the card. “Good thing,” he grunted. “So you’re going to take a correspondence course in this new power what-is-it? I think that’s mighty fine, Jim. Give you new interests—sort of take your mind off things.”
“Yeah, sure.” Jim struggled up with the aid of his cane and the bole of the oak tree. “Better see if I can make it back to the house now.”
All the whimsy and humor had suddenly gone out of the situation.
It was a fantastically short time—three days later—that Mr. McAfee stopped again at the Ward farm. He glanced at the thick envelope in his pack and the return address block it bore. He could see Jim Ward on the farmhouse porch and turned the Ford up the lane. Its rattle made Jim turn his head and open his eyes from the thoughtless blankness into which he had been trying to sink. He removed the pipe from his mouth and watched the car approach.
“Here’s your course,” shouted Mr. McAfee. “Here’s your first lesson!”
“What lesson?”
“The correspondence course you sent for. The power what-is-it? Don’t you remember?”
“No,” said Jim. “I’d forgotten all about it. Take the thing away. I don’t want it. It was just a silly joke.”
“You hadn’t ought to feel that way, Jim. After all, your leg is going to be all right. I heard the Doc say so down in the drugstore last night. And everything is going to be all right. There’s no use of letting it get you down. Besides—I got to deliver the mail.”
He tossed the brown envelope on the porch beside Jim. “Brought it up special because I thought you’d be in a hurry to get it.”
Jim smiled in apology. “I’m sorry, Mac. Didn’t mean to take it out on you. Thanks for bringing it up. I’ll study it good and hard this morning right here on the porch.”
Mr. McAfee beamed and nodded and rattled away. Jim closed his eyes again, but he couldn’t find the pleasing blankness he’d found before. Now the screen of his mind showed only the sky with thundering, plummeting engines—and the face of a girl lying still and white with closed eyes.
Jim opened his eyes and his hands slipped to his sides and touched the envelope. He ripped it open and scanned the pages. It was the sort of stuff he had collected as a boy, all right. He glanced at the paragraph headings and tossed the first lesson aside. A lot of obvious stuff about comparisons between steam power and waterfalls and electricity. It seemed all jumbled up like a high school student’s essay on the development of power from the time of Archimedes.
The mimeographed pages were poorly done. They looked as if the stencils had been cut on a typewriter that had been hit on the type faces with a hammer.
He tossed the second lesson aside and glanced at the top sheet of the third. His hand arrested itself midway in the act of tossing this lesson beside the other two. He caught a glimpse of the calculations on an inside page and opened up the booklet.
There was no high school stuff there. His brain struggled to remember the long unused methods of the integral calculus and the manipulation of partial differential equations.
There were pages of the stuff. It was like a sort of beacon light, dim and far off, but pointing a sure pathway to his mind and getting brighter as he progressed. One by one, he followed the intricate steps of the math and the short paragraphs of description between. When at last he reached the final page and turned the book over and scowled heavily the sun was halfway down the afternoon sky.
He looked away over the fields and pondered. This was no elementary stuff. Such math as this didn’t belong in a home study correspondence course. He picked up the envelope and concentrated on the return address block.
All it said was: M. H. Quilcon Schools, Henderson, Iowa. The lessons were signed at the bottom with the mimeographed reproductions of M. H. Quilcon’s ponderous signature.
Jim picked up lesson one again and began reading slowly and carefully, as if hidden between the lines he might find some mystic message.
By the end of July his leg was strong enough for him to walk without the cane. He walked slowly and with a limp and once in a while the leg gave way as if he had a trick knee. But he learned quickly to catch himself before he fell and he reveled in the thrill of walking again.
By the end of July the tenth lesson of the correspondence course had arrived and Jim knew that he had gone as far as he could alone. He was lost in amazement as he moved in the new scientific wonderland that opened up before him. He had known that great strides had been made in techniques and production, but it seemed incredible that such a basic discovery as power co-ordination had been producing war machines these many months. He wondered why the principle had not been applied more directly as a weapon itself—but he didn’t understand enough about it to know whether it could or not. He didn’t even understand yet from where the basic energy of the system was derived.
The tenth lesson was as poorly produced as the rest of them had been, but it was practically a book in its thickness. When he had finished it Jim knew that he had to know more of the background of the new science. He had to talk to someone who knew something about it. But he knew of no one who had ever heard of it. He had seen no advertisements of the M. H. Quilcon Schools.
Only that first circular and these lessons.
As soon as he had finished the homework on lesson ten and had given it into Mr. McAfee’s care Jim Ward made up his mind to go down to Henderson, Iowa, and visit the Quilcon School.
He wished he had retained the lesson material because he could have taken it there faster than it would arrive via the local mail channels.
The streamliner barely stopped at Henderson, Iowa, long enough to allow him to disembark. Then it was gone and Jim Ward stared about him.
The sleepy looking ticket seller, dispatcher, and janitor eyed him wonderingly and spat a huge amber stream across his desk and out the window.
“Looking for somebody, mister?”
“I’m looking for Henderson, Iowa. Is this it?” Jim asked dubiously.
“You’re here, mister. But don’t walk too fast or you’ll be out of it. The city limits only go a block past Smith’s Drugstore.”
Jim noticed the sign over the door and glanced at the inscription that he had not seen before: Henderson, Iowa, Pop. 8o6.
“I’m looking for a Mr. M. H. Quilcon. He runs a correspondence school here somewhere. Do you know of him?”
The depot staff shifted its cud again and spat thoughtfully. “Been here twenty-nine years next October. Never heard a name like that around here, and I know ’em all.”
“Are there any correspondence schools here?”
“Miss Marybell Anne Simmons gives beauty operator lessons once in a while, but that’s all the school of that kind that I know of.”
Disconcerted, Jim Ward murmured his thanks and moved slowly out of the station. The sight before him was dismaying. He wondered if the population hadn’t declined since the estimate on the sign in the station was made.
A small mercantile store that sagged in the middle faced him from across the street. Farther along was a tiny frame building labeled Sheriff’s Office. On his side Jim saw Smith’s Drugstore a couple of hundred feet down from the station with a riding saddle and a patented fertilizer displayed in the window. In the other direction was the combined postoffice, bank and what was advertised as a newspaper and printing office.
Jim strode toward this last building while curious watchers on the porch of the mercantile store stared at him trudging through the dust. The postmistress glanced up from the armful of mail that she was sorting into boxes as Jim entered. She offered a cheery hello that seemed to tinkle from the buxom figure.
“I’m looking for a man named Quilcon. I thought you might be able to give me some information concerning him.”
“Kweelcon?” She furrowed her brow. “There’s no one here by that name. How do you spell it?”
Before he could answer, the woman dropped a handful of letters on the floor. Jim was certain that he saw the one he had mailed to the school before he left.
As the woman stooped to recover the letters a dark brown shadow streaked across the floor. Jim got the momentary impression of an enormous brown slug moving with lightning speed.
The postmistress gave a scream of anger and scuffled her feet to the door. She returned in a moment.
“Armadillo,” she explained. “Darn thing’s been hanging around here for months and nobody seems to be able to kill it.” She resumed putting the mail in the boxes.
“I think you missed one,” said Jim. She did not have the one that he recognized as the one he’d mailed.
The woman looked about her on the floor. “I got them all, thank you. Now what did you say this man’s name was?”
Jim leaned over the counter and looked at the floor. He was sure—But there was obviously no other letter in sight and there was no place it could have gone.
“Quilcon,” said Jim slowly. “I’m not sure of the pronunciation myself, but that’s the way it seemed it should be.”
“There’s no one in Henderson by that name. Wait a minute now. That’s a funny thing—you know it was about a month ago that I saw an envelope going out of here with a name something like that in the upper left corner. I thought at the time it was a funny name and wondered who put it in, but I never did find out and I thought I’d been dreaming. How’d you know to come here looking for him?”
“I guess I must have received the mail you saw.”
“Well, you might ask Mr. Herald. He’s in the newspaper office next door. But I’m sure there’s no one in this town by that name.”
“You publish a newspaper here?”
The woman laughed. “We call it that. Mr. Herald owns the bank and a big farm and puts this out free as a hobby. It’s not much, but everybody in town reads it. On Saturday he puts out a regular printed edition. This is the daily.”
She held up a small mimeographed sheet that was moderately legible. Jim glanced at it and moved towards the door. “Thanks, anyway.”
As he went out into the summer sun there was something gnawing at his brain, an intense you-forgot-something-in-there sort of feeling. He couldn’t place it and tried to ignore it.
Then as he stepped across the threshold of the printing office he got it. That mimeographed newssheet he had seen—it bore a startling resemblance to the lessons he had received from M. H. Quilcon. The same purple ink. Slightly crooked sheets. But that was foolish to try to make a connection there. All mimeographed jobs looked about alike.
Mr. Herald was a portly little man with a fringe around his baldness. Jim repeated his inquiry.
“Quilcon?” Mr. Herald pinched his lips thoughtfully. “No, can’t say as I ever heard the name. Odd name—I’m sure I’d know it if I’d ever heard it.”
Jim Ward knew that further investigation here would be a waste of time. There was something wrong somewhere. The information in his correspondence course could not be coming out of this half dead little town.
He glanced at a copy of the newssheet lying on the man’s littered desk beside an ancient Woodstock. “Nice little sheet you put out there,” said Jim.
Mr. Herald laughed. “Well, it’s not much, but I get a kick out of it, and the people enjoy reading about Mrs. Kelly’s lost hogs and the Dorius kid’s whooping cough. It livens things up.”
“Ever do any work for anybody else—printing or mimeographing?” “If anybody wants it, but I haven’t had an outside customer in three years.”
Jim glanced about searchingly. The old Woodstock seemed to be the only typewriter in the room.
“I might as well go on,” he said. “But I wonder if you’d mind letting me use your typewriter to write a note and leave in the post-office for Quilcon if he ever shows up.”
“Sure, go ahead. Help yourself.”
Jim sat down before the clanking machine and hammered out a brief paragraph while Mr. Herald wandered to the back of the shop. Then Jim rose and shoved the paper in his pocket. He wished he had brought a sheet from one of the lessons with him.
“Thanks,” he called to Mr. Herald. He picked up a copy of the latest edition of the newspaper and shoved it in his pocket with the typed sheet.
On the trip homeward he studied the mimeographed sheet until he had memorized every line, but he withheld conclusions until he reached home.
From the station he called the farm and Hank, the hired man, came to pick him up. The ten miles out to the farm seemed like a hundred. But at last in his own room Jim spread out the two sheets of paper he’d brought with him and opened up lesson one of the correspondence course.
There was no mistake. The stencils of the course manuals had been cut on Mr. Herald’s ancient machine. There was the same nick out of the side of the o, and the b was flattened on the bulge. The r was minus half its base.
Mr. Herald had prepared the course.
Mr. Herald must then be M. H. Quilcon. But why had he denied any knowledge of the name? Why had he refused to see Jim and admit his authorship of the course?
At ten o’clock that night Mr. McAfee arrived with a special delivery letter for Jim.
“I don’t ordinarily deliver these way out here this time of night,” he said. “But I thought you might like to have it. Might be something important. A job or something, maybe. It’s from Mr. Quilcon.”
“Thanks. Thanks for bringing it, Mac.”
Jim hurried into his room and ripped open the letter. It read:
Dear Mr. Ward:
Your progress in understanding the principles of power co-ordination are
exceptional and I am very pleased to note your progress in connection
with the tenth lesson which I have just received from you.
An unusual opportunity has arisen which I am moved to offer you. There
is a large installation of a power co-ordination engine in need of vital
repairs some distance from here. I believe that you are fully qualified
to work on this machine under supervision which will be provided and
you would gain some valuable experience. The installation is located
some distance from the city of Henderson. It is about two miles out on
the Balmer Road. You will find there the Hortan Machine Works at which
the installation is located. Repairs are urgently needed and you are the
closest qualified student able to take advantage of this opportunity
which might lead to a valuable permanent connection. Therefore, I
request that you come at once. I will meet you there.
Sincerely,
M. H. Quilcon
For a long time Jim Ward sat on the bed with the letter and the sheets of paper spread out before him. What had begun as a simple quest for information was rapidly becoming an intricate puzzle.
Who was M. H. Quilcon?
It seemed obvious that Mr. Herald, the banker and part-time newspaper publisher, must be Quilcon. The correspondence course manuals had certainly been produced on his typewriter. The chances of any two typewriters having exactly the same four or five disfigurements in type approached the infinitesimal.
And Herald—if he were Quilcon—must have written this letter just before or shortly after Jim’s visit. The letter was certainly a product of the ancient Woodstock.
There was a fascination in the puzzle and a sense of something sinister, Jim thought. Then he laughed aloud at his own melodrama and began repacking the suitcase. There was a midnight train he could get back to Henderson.
It was hot afternoon again when he arrived in the town for the second time. The station staff looked up in surprise as he got off the train.
“Back again? I thought you’d given up.”
“I’ve found out where Mr. Quilcon is. He’s at the Hortan Machine Works. Can you tell me exactly where that is?”
“Never heard of it.”
“It’s supposed to be about two miles out of town on Balmer Road.”
“That’s just the main street of town going on down through the Willow Creek district. There’s no machine works out there. You must be in the wrong state, mister. Or somebody’s kidding you.”
“Do you think Mr. Herald could tell me anything about such a machine shop. I mean, does he know anything about machinery or things related to it?”
“Man, no! Old man Herald don’t care about nothing but money and that little fool paper of his. Machinery! He can’t hook up anything more complicated than his suspenders.”
Jim started down the main street toward the Willow Creek district. Balmer Road rapidly narrowed and turned, leaving the town out of sight behind a low rise. Willow Creek was a glistening thread in the midst of meadow land.
There was no more unlikely spot in the world for a machine works of any kind, Jim thought. Someone must be playing an utterly fantastic joke on him. But how or why they had picked on him was mystifying. At the same time he knew within him that it was no joke. There was a deadly seriousness about it all. The principles of power co-ordination were right. He had slaved and dug through them enough to be sure of that. He felt that he could almost build a power co-ordinating engine now with the proper means—except that he didn’t understand from where the power was derived!
In the timelessness of the bright air about him, with the only sound coming from the brook and the leaves on the willow trees beside it, Jim found it impossible to judge time or distance.
He paced his steps and counted until he was certain that at least two miles had been covered. He halted and looked about almost determined to go back and re-examine the way he had come.
He glanced ahead, his eyes scanning every minute detail of the meadowland. And then he saw it.
The sunlight glistened as if on a metal surface. And above the bright spot in the distance was the faintly readable legend:
HORTAN MACHINE WORKS
Thrusting aside all judgment concerning the incredibility of a machine shop in such a locale, he crossed the stream and made his way over the meadow toward the small rise.
As he approached, the machine works appeared to be merely a dome-shaped structure about thirty feet in diameter and with an open door in one side. He came up to it with a mind ready for anything. The crudely painted sign above the door looked as if it had been drawn by an inexpert barn painter in a state of intoxication.
Jim entered the dimly lit interior of the shop and set his case upon the floor beside a narrow bench that extended about the room. Tools and instruments of unfamiliar design were upon the bench and upon the walls. But no one appeared.
Then he noticed an open door and a steep, spiral ramp that led down to a basement room. He stepped through and half slid, half walked down to the next level.
There was artificial lighting by fluorescent tubes of unusual construction, Jim noticed. But still no sign of anyone. And there was not an object in the room that appeared familiar to him. Articles that vaguely resembled furniture were against the walls.
He felt uneasy amid the strangeness of the room and he was about to go back up the steep ramp when a voice came to him.
“This is Mr. Quilcon. Is that you, Mr. Ward?”
“Yes. Where are you?”
“I am in the next room, unable to come out until I finish a bit of work I have started. Will you please go on down to the room below? You will find the damaged machinery there. Please go right to work on it. I’m sure that you have a complete understanding of what is necessary. I will join you in a moment.”
Hesitantly, Jim turned to the other side of the room where he saw a second ramp leading down to a brilliantly lighted room. He glanced about once more, then moved down the ramp.
The room was high-ceilinged and somewhat larger in diameter than the others he had seen and it was almost completely occupied by the machine.
A series of close-fitting towers with regular bulbous swellings on their columns formed the main structure of the engine. These were grouped in a solid circle with narrow walkways at right angles to each other passing through them.
Jim Ward stood for a long time examining their surfaces that rose twenty feet from the floor. All that he had learned from the curious correspondence course seemed to fall into place. Diagrams and drawings of such machines had seemed incomprehensible. Now he knew exactly what each part was for and how the machine operated.
He squeezed his body into the narrow walkway between the towers and wormed his way to the center of the engine. His bad leg made it difficult, but he at last came to the damaged structure.
One of the tubes had cracked open under some tremendous strain and through the slit he could see the marvelously intricate wiring with which it was filled. Wiring that was burned now and fused to a mass. It was in a control circuit that rendered the whole machine functionless, but its repair would not be difficult, Jim knew.
He went back to the periphery of the engine and found the controls of a cranelike device which he lowered and seized the cracked sleeve and drew off the damaged part.
From the drawers and bins in the walls he selected parts and tools and returned to the damaged spot.
In the cramped space he began tearing away the fused parts and wiring. He was lost and utterly unconscious of anything but the fascination of the mighty engine. Here within this room was machine capacity to power a great city.
Its basic function rested upon the principle of magnetic currents in contrast to electric currents. The discovery of magnetic currents had been announced only a few months before he came home from the war. The application of the discovery had been swift.
And he began to glimpse the fundamental source of the energy supplying the machine. It was in the great currents of gravitational and magnetic force flowing between the planets and the suns of the universe. As great as atomic energy and as boundless in its resources, this required no fantastically dangerous machinery to harness. The principle of the power co-ordinator was simple.
The pain of his cramped position forced Jim to move out to rest his leg. As he stood beside the engine he resumed his pondering on the purpose it had in this strange location. Why was it built there and what use was made of its power?
He moved about to restore the circulation in his legs and sought to trace the flow of energy through the engine, determine where and what kind of a load was placed upon it.
His search led him below into a third sub-basement of the building and there he found the thing he was searching for, the load into which the tremendous drive of the engine was coupled.
But here he was unable to comprehend fully, for the load was itself a machine of strange design, and none of its features had been covered in the correspondence course.
The machine upstairs seized upon the magnetic currents of space and selected and concentrated those flowing in a given direction.
The force of these currents was then fed into the machines in this room, but there was no point of reaction against which the energy could be applied.
Unless—
The logical, inevitable conclusion forced itself upon his mind. There was only one conceivable point of reaction.
He stood very still and a tremor went through him. He looked up at the smooth walls about him. Metal, all of them. And this room—it was narrower than the one above—as if the entire building were tapered from the dome protruding out of the earth to the basement floor. The only possible point of reaction was the building itself. But it wasn’t a building.
It was a vessel.
Jim clawed and stumbled his way up the incline into the engine room, then beyond into the chamber above. He was halfway up the top ramp when he heard the voice again.
“Is that you, Mr. Ward? I have almost finished and will be with you in a moment. Have you completed the repairs? Was it very difficult?”
He hesitated, but didn’t answer. Something about the quality of that voice gave him a chill. He hadn’t noticed it before because of his curiosity and his interest in the place. Now he detected its unearthly, inhuman quality.
He detected the fact that it wasn’t a voice at all, but that the words had been formed in his brain as if he himself had spoken them.
He was nearly at the top of the ramp and drew himself on hands and knees to the floor level when he saw the shadow of the closing door sweep across the room and heard the metallic clang of the door. It was sealed tight. Only the small windows—or ports—admitted light.
He rose and straightened and calmed himself with the thought that the vessel could not fly. It could not rise with the remainder of the repair task unfinished—and he was not going to finish it; that much was certain.
“Quilcon!” he called. “Show yourself! Who are you and what do you want of me?”
“I want you to finish the repair job and do it quickly,” the voice replied instantly. “And quickly—it must be finished quickly.”
There was a note of desperation and despair that seemed to cut into Jim. Then he caught sight of the slight motion against the wall beside him. In a small, transparent hemisphere that was fastened to the side of the wall lay the slug that Jim had seen at the postoffice, the thing the woman had called an “armadillo.” He had not even noticed it when he first entered the room. The thing was moving now with slow pulsations that swelled its surface and great welts like dark veins stood out upon it. From the golden-hued hemisphere a maze of cable ran to instruments and junction boxes around the room and a hundred tiny pseudo-pods grasped terminals inside the hemisphere.
It was a vessel—and this slug within the hemisphere was its alien, incredible pilot. Jim knew it with startling cold reality that came to him in waves of thought that emanated from the slug called Quilcon and broke over Jim’s mind. It was a ship and a pilot from beyond Earth—from out of the reaches of space.
“What do you want of me? Who are you?” said Jim Ward.
“I am Quilcon. You are a good student. You learn well.”
“What do you want?”
“I want you to repair the damaged engine.”
There was something wrong with the creature. Intangibly, Jim sensed it. An aura of sickness, a desperate urgency came to his mind.
But something else was in the foreground of Jim’s mind. The horror of the alien creature diminished and Jim contemplated the miracle that had come to mankind.
“I’ll bargain with you,” he said quietly. “Tell me how to build a ship like this for my people and I will fix the engines for you.”
“No! No—there is no time for that. I must hurry—”
“Then I shall leave without any repairs.”
He moved toward the door and instantly a paralyzing wave took hold of him as if he had seized a pair of charged electrodes. It relaxed only as he stumbled back from the door.
“My power is weak,” said Quilcon, “but it is strong enough for many days yet—many of your days. Too many for you to live without food and water. Repair the engine and then I shall let you go.”
“Is what I ask too much to pay for my help?”
“You have had pay enough. You can teach your people to build power co-ordinator machines. Is that not enough?”
“My people want to build ships like this one and move through space.”
“I cannot teach you that. I do not know. I did not build this ship.”
There were surging waves of troubled thought that washed over his mind, but Jim Ward’s tenseness eased. The first fear of totally alien life drifted from his mind and he felt a strange affinity for the creature. It was injured and sick, he knew, but he could not believe that it did not know how the ship was built.
“Those who built this ship come often to trade upon my world,” said Quilcon. “But we have no such ships of our own. Most of us have no desire to see anything but the damp caves and sunny shores of our own world. But I longed to see the worlds from which these ships came.
“When this one landed near my cave I crept in and hid myself. The ship took off then and we traveled an endless time. Then an accident to the engine killed all three of those who manned the ship and I was left alone.
“I was injured, too, but I was not killed. Only the other of me died.” Jim did not understand the queer phrase, but he did not break into Quilcon’s story.
“I was able to arrange means to control the flight of the ship, to prevent its destruction as it landed upon this planet, but I could not repair it because of the nature of my body.”
Jim saw then that the creature’s story must be true.
It was obvious that the ship had been built to be manned by beings utterly unlike Quilcon.
“I investigated the city of yours near by and learned of your ways and customs. I needed the help of one of you to repair the ship. By force I could persuade one of you to do simple tasks, but none so complex as this requires.
“Then I discovered the peculiar customs of learning among you. I forced the man Herald to prepare the materials and send them to you. I received them before the person at the postoffice could see them. I got your name from the newspapers along with several others who were unsatisfactory.
“I had to teach you to understand the power co-ordinator because only by voluntary operation of your highest faculties will you be able to understand and repair the machine. I can assist but not force you to do that.”
The creature began pleading again. “And now will you repair the engine quickly. I am dying—but shall live longer than you—it is a long journey to my home planet, but I must get there and I need every instant of time that is left to me.”
Jim caught a glimpse of the dream vision that was the creature’s home world. It was a place of security and peace—in Quilcon’s terms. But even its alienness did not block out the sense of quiet beauty that Quilcon’s mind transmitted to Jim’s.
They were a species of high intelligence. Exceptionally developed in the laws of mathematics and theory of logic, they were handicapped in bodily development from inquiring into other fields of science whose existence was demonstrated by their logic and their mathematics. The more intellectual among them were frustrated creatures whose lives were made tolerable only by an infinite capacity for stoicism and adaptation.
But of them all, Quilcon was among the most restless and rebellious and ambitious. No one of them had ever dared such a journey as he had taken. A swelling pity and understanding came over Jim Ward.
“I’ll bargain with you,” he said desperately. “I’ll repair the engine if you’ll let me have its principles. If you don’t have them, you can get them to me with little trouble. My people must have such a ship as this.”
He tried to visualize what it would mean to Earth to have space flight a century or perhaps five centuries before the slow plodding of science and research might reveal it.
But the creature was silent.
“Quilcon—” Jim repeated. He hoped it hadn’t died.
“I’ll bargain with you,” said Quilcon at last. “Let me be the other of you, and I’ll give you what you want.”
“The other of me? What are you talking about?”
“It is hard for you to understand. It is union—such as we make upon our world. When two or more of us want to be together we go together in the same brain, the same body. I am alone now, and it is an unendurable existence because I have known what it is to have another of me.
“Let me come into your brain, into your mind and live there with you. We will teach your people and mine. We will take this ship to all the universes of which living creatures can dream. It is either this or we both die together, for too much time has gone for me to return. This body dies.”
Stunned by Quilcon’s ultimatum, Jim Ward stared at the ugly slug on the wall. Its brown body was heaving with violent pulsations of pain and a sense of delirium and terror came from it to Jim.
“Hurry! Let me come!” it pleaded.
He could feel sensations as if fingers were probing his cranium looking, pleading for entrance. It turned him cold.
He looked into the years and thought of an existence with this alien mind in his. Would they battle for eventual possession of his body and he perhaps be subjected to slavery in his own living corpse?
He tried to probe Quilcon’s thoughts, but he could find no sense or intent of conquest. There were almost human amenities intermingled with a world of new science and thought.
He knew Quilcon would keep his promise to give the secrets of the ship to the men of Earth. That alone would be worth the price of his sacrifice—if it should be sacrifice.
“Come!” he said quietly.
It was as if a torrent of liquid light were flowing into his brain. It was blinding and excruciating in its flaming intensity. He thought he sensed rather than saw the brown husk of Quilcon quiver in the hemisphere and shrivel like a brown nut.
But in his mind there was union and he paused and trembled with the sudden great reality of what he knew. He knew what Quilcon was and gladness flowed into him like light. A thought soared through his brain: Is sex only in the difference of bodily function and the texture of skin and the tone of voice?
He thought of another day when there was death in the sky and on the Earth below, and in a little field hospital. A figure on a white cot had murmured, “You’ll be all right, Jim. I’m going on, I guess, but you’ll be all right. I know it. Don’t miss me too much.”
He had known there would be no peace for him ever, but now there was peace and the voice of Quilcon was like that voice from long ago, for as the creature probed into his thoughts its inherent adaptability matched its feelings and thought to his and said, “Everything is all right, isn’t it, Jim Ward?”
“Yes . . . yes it is.”
The intensity of his feelings almost blinded him. “And I want to call you Ruth, after another Ruth—”
“I like that name.” There was shyness and appreciation in the tones, and it was not strange to Jim that he could not see the speaker, there was a vision in his mind far lovelier than any Earthly vision could have been.
“We’ll have everything,” he said. “Everything that your world and mine can offer. We’ll see them all.”
But like the other Ruth who had been so practical, this one was, too.
“First we have to repair the engine. Shall we do it, now?”
The solitary figure of Jim Ward moved toward the ramp and disappeared into the depths of the ship.
The End
Movies that Inspired Me
Here are some movies that I consider noteworthy and worth a view. Enjoy.
Stories that Inspired Me
Here are
reprints in full text of stories that inspired me, but that are nearly
impossible to find in China. I place them here as sort of a personal
library that I can use for inspiration. The reader is welcome to come
and enjoy a read or two as well.
My Poetry
Articles & Links
You’ll not
find any big banners or popups here talking about cookies and privacy
notices. There are no ads on this site (aside from the hosting ads – a
necessary evil). Functionally and fundamentally, I just don’t make money
off of this blog. It is NOT monetized. Finally, I don’t track you
because I just don’t care to.
Here, I argue that Hollywood is not using their innate and basic movie-making skills when pandering to their progressive causes. I argue that not only are they losing money in the process, but they are alienating their viewership base. I thus offer some suggestions to this end to prevent a hemorrhaging of the Hollywood profit model.
Ah. Hollywood.
So famous, and so taken for granted.
The more that I think about it, the more that I am convinced. Indeed, I am convinced that those in Hollywood have found a new profit model. As, it seems, the movies that they are releasing today do not follow the traditional profit model.
Traditional Hollywood Profit Model
You know; you make a good movie, and people pay to watch it. If the movie is really good you get rich. If the movie is poor, you lose money.
Today, however, it seems that there is a totally different profit model being followed.
Contemporaneous Hollywood Profit Model
Some wealthy oligarch gives you an enormous sum of money to promote some sort of social justice cause and you pocket the money. Whether the movie is popular or not has no bearing on the profit motive.
Yeah. That’s pretty much it. Isn’t it?
Hollywood has become a SJW propaganda arm.
It’s like a nightmare that no matter how hard you try to run, it never ends. It’s like wack-a-mole. As soon as you hear about one bout of obscenity, there pops up another. Ugh!
License To Drive, the comedy that starred the two Coreys (Haim and Feldman) and a young Heather Graham in 1988, is being rebooted with female leads thanks to producer John Davis and 20th Century Fox.
-Deadline
These kinds of reports flow pretty hard and fast. Yet, I wonder. Just who is this John Davis, and what inspired him to make all-female leads?
League of Extraordinary Ladies
Ah. But this is not the only all-female Hollywood production. If it was, we would just accept it as it is on face value. But, no. It is part of a long on-going trend towards flooding the American movie scene with pale imitations of great movies. All of which that pander to the feminist-wing of the SJW movement.
The first film of Kevin O'Neill and Alan Moore's The League of Extraordinary Gentleman remains most known for the fallout between star Sean Connery and director Stephen Norrington. Connery hasn't acted since, and Norrington hasn't directed.
The new film is being produced by John Davis, and he's promises a more "female-centric" take on the material for the upcoming reboot. No director has thus far been appointed, though, but it's very much an active project.
-Den of Geek
Yeah. John Davis strikes again! Just who is this John Davis, and why does he want to do this?
I’m being truthful in this. So please, hear me out.
My off-hand impression is that he wants to avoid the SJW backlash and be associated with the Casting Couch like Harvey Weinstein. He needs to protect himself. So he panders to the SJW folk.
I do not know if this is the actual true case or not. What I do know is that is the most likely explanation for the observed trends. Yes. In my “outsider” mind, the most likely scenario.
I’ll bet you all that there’s a lot of truth in this supposition. Trust your gut instincts, boys and girls.
And for what?
That we, the movie watching public has to endure SJW crap all because John Davis took liberties with his casting couch. Is that why Americans need to put up with all these pale imitations of our treasured movies? Because the producers in Hollywood are afraid of the Weinstein-backlash?
OK.
So the The League of Extraordinary Gentleman is going to be redone. What’s it gonna be called? The League of Extraordinary Ladies. After all, “he promises a more “female-centric” take“. Groan.
It’s a new world.
I used to treasure going to the movies.
Then for a while, I worked as a Movie Theater Manager for a cineplex in Corpus Christi, Texas. (Mann National Twin.) I loved everything about it. I loved the atmosphere, the smell of popcorn, the drapes, the lights and the projector booth. Yes, the hours sucked, but it was “showbiz”.
I loved the movies.
It was important to me. I enjoyed it. It was a good two hours of relaxed imagination. I could go to a movie and be teleported into another world, into another time and another place. If the movie was truly great, I would be moved, put into a great mood, and ponder the lessons of the movie for weeks afterwards.
Not so today.
I don’t know about youse guys, but I have stopped watching movies. I ditched Netflx, and any movies I use are either bought, viewed though a much cheaper paid service or through Torrents. These new “improved” movies are all dog shit.
They really, really are.
Why the “new” movies suck.
These new movies promote the progressive socialist narrative. Which is;
Everyone is inherently equal.
Differences between all of us must be eliminated.
There are no biological differences in gender.
Anyone who does not agree with the above is evil.
Yet, for all the promotion of this nonsense, the fact remains that only women can naturally have babies. That babies cannot be created naturally without a male sperm. And that these differences manifest in all sorts of social and cultural constructs that have similarity to each other irregardless of geolocation or historical venue.
So, now we have Hollywood wanting progressive equality. You know like in China where everyone wore the same type of clothing. Or in Cambodia where all the intelligent people were killed.
When you try to PUSH that narrative on Americans, we tune it out and walk away.
Oceans 11 Reboot
The trailer for the new all-female “Ocean’s 11” reboot was unveiled this week. The Hollywood Reporter called it "the capstone 2017 needed."
Most regular people called it awful and stupid.
What else could it be other than awful and stupid? It’s a reboot of a remake of a remake, which means it already has all the fun and freshness of dried vomit.
The feminist twist just gives it an extra touch of preachiness and pandering, like a vomit stain that comes to life and lectures you about the patriarchy.
-Dailywire
Hey, I have a message for all the Hollywood Producers out there. Stop doing things out of fear of the SJW crowd. It has been my experience that most of what we are afraid of never happens.
To quote from the great movie “Strictly Ballroom“; A life lived in fear is a life half-lived.
“A life lived in fear is a life half lived.”
-Fran (Strictly Ballroom)
Out of touch with the movie audience.
I sat through the (all female) remake of The Ghost-busters and it was like watching people push needles in little puppies eyes. Ouch it hurt that much. Seriously, just how out of touch can people in Hollywood be to produce such a horrific and painful movie?
The answer is way…way… WAY out of touch.
Seriously. Do you, yourself, personally want to spend time watching this kind of drivel that you are producing? Or, do you think that "normal" Americans are some sort of cattle that you can prod about and feed what ever GMO-enhanced nonsense you desire?
How in the world can anyone, most especially a talented producer, even try to improve upon the Ghost-buster franchise with an all-female flick? Don’t they realize the huge numbers of people that they will alienate?
Message to Hollywood;
Are you all that friggin' blind NOT to realize how out of touch you are with your audience?
You need to fire your marketing groups because they are spending way too much time in urban high-end Starbucks, and not doing enough "grass roots" research.
Hollywood is a business model. And you, yes you (!) are throwing it out the window so nonchalantly that it astounds me and just about everyone else in America. What exactly is your malfunction?
Maybe that’s it. They don’t understand that they are being very offensive to Joe and Suzy Normal in viewership land. Or… maybe they know, but do not care.
Listen to me.
Yes. Radical feminism, even when presented comically, is offensive.
Radical Feminism is Offensive.
But I expect it won’t be any worse than the fantastically terrible and pointless female “Ghostbusters” film from a few years ago.
That one set the bar for the others, a group that will soon include a female remake of “Lord of the Flies,” and a female remake of “Dirty Rotten Scoundrels,” and a female remake of “The Rocketeer.”
There's also a female remake of some movie called "License to Drive," originally starring Corey Feldman and Corey Haim. The movie is being described as a "female version of 'Superbad.'"
I was going to joke that they’re even planning a female “Expendables” but then I checked and apparently they really are planning a female “Expendables.”
-Dailywire
Hey! I don’t want to be rude, but for Pete’s Sakes!
Are you all so afraid of the twitter mobs, and SJW types that you would willingly torpedo your friggin’ life’s work? Are you so timid, and worried about what they might think? Are you so terrified that you might end up in prison?
If so, then you disgust me.
We had the chance, but we were scared. We walked away. WE LIVED OUR LIVES IN FEAR.
-Doug Hastings (Strictly Ballroom)
Do not live a life in FEAR.
I am actually astounded that so many well-known and well-established Hollywood producers are so timid and fearful. You have created great works over the decades. You have made movies that us “normals” loved and admired.
Yet, you are all willing to throw all that away, and replace your great works and talent on producing mediocre sub-par movies to appease the radical feminist movement.
In fact, what is so astounding about this, is that the (so called) movement only has a mere handful of active radicals. The rest is all twitter farms, Facebook farms, and other electronic illusionary measures. They look bigger than they really are.
Here’s how the rest of America reacts to these progressive causes…
When the Football game on the television set in the local sports-bar starts having (what can best be described as) a Black-hate-fest against “White Privilege” Neo-Nazi rally style that television set gets turned OFF.
When a commercial tries to accuse me of toxic masculinity, I stop using their products. Hey! Growing up, I was the kid being picked on. I do not, absolutely and positively, do NOT appreciate being lumped in with bullies simply because we share the same gender. I set my sights on that product range to OFF.
And when a movie, television show, or actor wants to preach to me in ways that I find RUDE, demeaning, insulting, or in any other way, distasteful, I leave and turn it all OFF.
What’s the matter with youse guys? Or are you all too weak limp-wristed to understand what an insult is and what isn’t?
Listen to me now.
Or is everyone in Hollywood stuck in an echo-chamber? Are you all being lead around by the cleat in your noses by some radicals that enslave you by fear? Is that what you are?
I write this to Hollywood, the producers and all those people who have added life, adventure, and romance to the films that I have loved. Do not allow your great works to fade into rust. Do not allow those who want to force you into fear-controlled boxes, destroy your great works. For they are doing so.
Do great things. Stop pandering to those who are driving your actions by fear.
Meanwhile…
Female James Bond
Watch out! Here comes a new “improved” 007 James Bond!
They’ve decided to kill the James Bond franchise by making the next 007 a woman.
This is just stupid. Bond is a male fantasy: we kill the bad guys while
dressed well and looking sharp and get all the hot women. No man will
want to go see Super Chick do that…nor will women, I suspect.
The James Bond franchise will shake things up completely for its 25th instalment, casting a black actress to take over from Daniel Craig as the new 007 – since re-doing old stories with a PC angle is easier than writing new ones.
The UK’s Daily Mail reports that British actress Lashana Lynch will take over from Craig as codename 007 in the as-yet-untitled film. The movie will reportedly see Craig retain the title role, however, being called out of retirement in Jamaica for one last mission.
The revelation is not so surprising in an era when
political correctness has become something of a new religion – and
naturally, the casting has somewhat ironically prompted much
divisiveness on social media, where there have been both celebrations of
the daring move and anger that the long-established brand of the male,
martini-sipping Bond would be fundamentally changed forever.
People…
What is wrong with Hollywood that they cannot see that this is a big mistake?
The thing that puzzles me is do many women want to see male leads taken by females?
I am a great believer in equal rights and when I was about 13 led a, what now seems very amusing, protest at my school because girls had to take cookery while boys took metalwork and not being particularly interested in cookery I was far more interested in getting my hands on a welding implement! so I naughtily took the majority of my class to stand in line outside the metalwork classroom week after week until the headmaster got fed up and we girls were allowed to have three weeks of metalwork, the metalwork teacher was a lovely man who was very much on our side and showed us how to design and make jewellery, i wish I still had the pendant I made. I made a lot of enemies though, the boys in my year hated me because the cookery teacher refused to take them into her classroom and teach them and so they had to do extra maths lessons instead and the cookery teacher never forgave me for being so disruptive. Everything had changed by the time my boys were in school and they had cookery classes with the girls and the girls had what is now called 'design and technology' together with the boys.
But this is just silly, what next? Goldiluke and the the three bears? a remake of the sound of music with a singing monk?
-Cobis
How is the 007 franchise improved? Why, by replacing the lead and iconic male figure with a strong female figure. That’s how! Of course all the social progressives are so excited about this latest remake and are flooding their social media accounts with all sorts of praise!
When is someone going to stand up and say this new female James Bond is a load of bollocks??
The clue is in the title, James Bond is a man, stuff this equality shit! It's a flipping film character! What next? Cinders a male, Jaws 4 as a dolphin! Get a grip ffs
— Telvis (@Telv1s) July 15, 2019
Why I just can’t wait to see a strong female version of James bond, seducing weak-willed men who are just comic jokes and props. Yessur! That will be fun to watch.
NOPE!
Someone needs to BITCH SLAP those idiots that think a re-gendered James Bond is going to be a success. Yeah, just like the re-gendered Star Trek was…
Re-gendered Star Trek
Really bad writing - in fact the worse I have ever seen in a show. They hired show-runner from the CW with no sci-fi experience (and CW is bottom of the barrel in a time when there are tons of good content out there on streaming services).
They hired her because they wanted a female show runner and didn't look past gender when setting up the show. Star Trek Discovery is really really bad - If you wondered what network TV is putting out these days, this is one you should watch one episode of to see how bad a show can get.
This is a perfect example of what happens when someone casts a show based on social justice warrior checklists and has a team of untalented writers putting out garbage. CBS will not cancel the show because it would be embarrassing for them and the ratings they get are from football and not this show (all access).
Forget the social justice warrior nonsense, this show is unwatchable if you watch everything star trek.
-Christopher T (Rotten Tomatoes on Star Trek Discovery)
But hey! If it is so good then why is it universally considered the absolute worst Star Trek franchise out there? Most fans feel like this fellow…
Jesus **** Christ this show is dog **** It's like a horrible soap opera that is terribly written and it couldn't be further from what Star Trek was when it was good. It's a mess that morons are going to lap up. The writers of this show can go **** themselves.
Or this fellow…
This is not Star Trek, it's a show centered in the character of Michael Burnham, and I had enough of her.
The "know it all" attitude, the dramatics, the never stop crying, the every plot centered around her is highly unnerving. I liked Captain Pike a lot and Saru as well, but the other characters get on my nerves as well, the camaraderie between them seems forced, and there is too much drama and crying.
Other problem is the Klingons, that ugly prosthetic that make their faces look rubbery and the muffled voices. Horrible!
Or this fellow…
I am actually glad Gene Roddenberry is dead so he did not have to see this abomination.
Well if he was alive he would not have allowed this awful show to move forward. It might have made a decent action show but this is in no way shape or form a Star Trek.
Just call it something else or cancel, please?
I am almost sorry I lived long enough to see my beloved series destroyed.
It’s pages upon pages of dislike…
Can this tripe get any worse? Don't bother, go watch The Orville instead. The true new home of ST.
People, you should NOT rely on twitter or electronic media to determine whether or not a show is popular. Those things can be easily spoofed by electronic farming. You should go into the fan communities, into the areas where most people enjoy these shows and talk to them FACE-to-FACE.
Meet people who live outside your community. This includes your community of business associates, your community of friends, and your local geographical community. You need to reach out to those outside your world.
You will find that in just about every case, people would prefer a NEW movie franchise based up new characters, instead of altering a well-established franchise to fit a SJW narrative.
Truth This.
Anyways, back to James Bond.
Female James Bond
There are actors and actresses timidly commenting on the absurdity of gender-swapping this character…
Mirren added: “But that time was different; we could never even have imagined a woman playing that role.”
The actress’ statement comes just two days after former Bond girl Halle Berry said casting 007 as a woman would be a bad call.
“I want women to be tough but I don't know if Bond should be a woman,” the 50-year-old told Entertainment Tonight.
“I mean, that series is steeped in history, you know from Ian Fleming’s stories. I don't think you can change Bond to a woman.”
The Die Another Day actress went on: “We can create a new Bond character that's a woman, and give her a new name, based on that theory.
“But I don't know if Bond should be a woman.”
- Could Helen Mirren be the first female 007?
There are all sorts of rumors of who will play the new female version of James Bond. Knowing what I know of the idiots in the coastal cities, I wouldn’t be surprised if it is played by Omarosa Manigault.
I call them idiots. Why? Because they are permitting a profitable enterprise to collapse. All to the disdain of its’ shareholders.
What? You think that there are no alternatives to Hollywood? Do you think that it has a forever lock on movies, music, and entertainment? You think that Bollywood will never encroach on the American audience, and that China will never take over...
Have you been paying attention lately?
Nope. You are all in your closed progressive Hollywood bubble, and it is getting smaller and smaller and soon you will suffocate within it.
Progressives are all for change… as long it is change that they can control. But, you know what? It’s a fantasy. Control is only an illusion. Most of your life there are forces that are beyond what you can control. The only thing that you can control is your very own actions.
That’s all.
So for goodness sakes. Don’t live a life in fear. Stop pandering to the radical feminists.
Female Captain Jack Sparrow
Let me get this straight. Casting Johnny Depp as Captain Jack Sparrow wouldn’t really be fitting. So, what’s the answer?
Why, you need to cast a strong woman in this role. Sort of a female version of Captain Jack Sparrow. Maybe a Jacklin Sparrow. yeah! That will just bring in swarms of people to sit through a two hour long feature length movie.
Stop pandering to the radical feminists.
All Female Ghostbusters
Director/co-writer Paul Feig's no-one-asked-for "Ghostbusters" remake opens with a big "ugh" and never recovers.
Naturally, it's a joke aimed at Donald Trump and his supporters -- a heavy-handed haha about an "anti-Irish fence."
Yep, even before the movie can even cast its spell, the spell is shattered forever by divisive partisanship. From there, instead of relaxing, you're on guard throughout for the next left-wing sucker punch.
-Daily Wire
Yeah, this went over like a lead balloon.
It was absolutely positive revolting. It was an insult to the original movie, the cast, and all the moviegoers who watched it in theaters when it came out… bought the Betamax tapes, the VHS tapes, the DVD discs, or rented from Blockbuster or viewed it on Netflix.
It was a total and complete cluster-FLUXXX.
Look at this cluster of losers…
Did I like it? Hell no! I’d rather swim in a pool of pig feces than endure that monstrosity… that horrid… horrid insult to humanity ever again. What the Hell were they thinking?
They weren’t. That’s the point.
As expected, Feig's disaster has a flaming feminist chip on its shoulder. Every male character is either an asshole, an idiot, or both.
Which begs the question: Where in the world does this grudge emanate from? Certainly not the original that gave us Weaver's classy, independent, sophisticated Manhattan woman and Annie Potts' knowing, street-smart receptionist.
-Daily Wire
I mean you’ve got Ocean’s eleven all female, and all the classics are being remade into the progressive socialist narrative, of course there will need to be an all female version of Die Hard.
So…
These has been no announcements on who would play John or Joan in this role. (My guess is that the backlash has been so negative, that the articles are pulled off the Internet within hours of being posted.) Though, I am betting that it might be someone like Mindy Kaling.
There are more than just a few remakes of movies planned. Some one with deep, deep pockets is flooding Hollywood with all sorts of cash. Seems like a Barrack Obama, or George Soros trademark.
Pause and let that sink in…
I just can't help but think that all those many, many programs that were put in place over the years had some kind of financial feed-back mechanism (illegal, of course) for "social progress".
Or, as I have been saying… stop pandering to the radical feminists.
Well, the original movie featured a guy who was bit by a werewolf while in London. Why not a female? Well… it’s coming true. It’s been announced.
Heck! Why stop there.
Make her a hijab wearing LGBT transgender person. Right? That way the movie goers can get the full force of SJW immersion, as well as sticking a sharp knife into the sides of all those deplorable Trump followers. Eh?
Besides, it’s well known that London is a progressive global city with Muslim majorities. It would make absolutely and perfect sense. There are far, far, FAR more Muslims in London than Americans.
Yeah.
Escape from New York
Oh, it’s Snake Plissken all right.
Only this time he is dispatched to New York city to save and rescue a female Senator from the clutches of the despicable deplorables entrapped inside that urban ghetto. I’ll bet you 8 to 10 that she will look a little like Hillary Clinton, Maxine Walters or some other prominent liberal democrat.
Great fare for the cash-heavy urban blacks that follow this narrative.
Yeah. An all-women expendables. I suppose that it all began here when some feminists were musing about the take over of the industry.
It has long passed the silly, and entered the world of the absurd.
In defiance of history. In defiance with genetics, and the social variances between those with “Y” chromosomes and those without it, this movie is moving forward.
Hey! All youse guys in the room, raise you hand up if you want to watch this absurdity. Obviously the marketing group in Hollywood was on crack when they promoted this film. Why not alienate 99% of the “Expendable” viewing audience, won’t ya?
Stop living your life in Fear of the radical feminists.
Stop living your life in fear. Stop pandering to the radical feminists. Stop allowing them to define what your film legacy will become.
All of Me
Instead of Steve Martin, you now have a woman in the role.
A dying millionaire finds her soul has been transferred to the body of her lawyer. A remake of the 1984 comedy 'All of Me'.
-IMDB
A life that is lived in fear is a life that is half-lived. Stop allowing your fear of the radical feminists to define your legacy.
Overboard (2018)
It’s a role reversal of the original comedy. Instead of a rich woman falling overboard and forgetting who she is, it’s a rich man who falls overboard.
Kate Sullivan is a single mom of three daughters who works two jobs while studying to be a nurse. She is assigned to clean carpets on a yacht owned by spoiled, arrogant playboy Leonardo 'Leo' Montenegro. Leo makes rude remarks towards Kate and fires her without pay when she refuses to bring him food. When Kate calls out his behavior, Leo pushes her off the boat along with her cleaning equipment. Meanwhile, in Mexico, Leo's sisters Magdalena and Sofia are tending to their ailing father. Furious when Leo is announced as his successor to run the family-owned company, Magda decides to visit him. That night, Leo slips off the yacht and falls into the ocean unnoticed. He wakes up on a beach with amnesia and no recollection of his identity. He wanders through town and eventually reaches the hospital. Magda finds him and leaves him there unclaimed after learning he has amnesia. She returns home and falsely reports that Leo has died. Sofia suspects Magda is lying.
-IMDB
Stop allowing the radical feminists to define your life.
Ocean’s Eight (2018)
Debbie Ocean gathers an all-female crew to attempt an impossible heist at New York City’s yearly Met Gala. Pretty much the same plot as the original Ocean’s Eight, only with role reversal. It’s expected to be a great hit with all the progressive millennials in the Untied States today.
This is just another Hollywood attempt at "Hey! Lets take a classic movie and flip the casts gender!!!" It's pure pc propaganda. The only reason that I'm giving it a 2 is because I don't trust these ratings sites algorithms to take 0's and 1's into account. They may be getting smarter though and will stop dropping any score below 5.
-MysticDingo
Just an all female Reboot of a good and beloved Movie Trilogy. Rihannas poorly acting skills make this film unwatchable. Don´t do this to yourself and watch that movie, except you are a fat Feminazi that rather watches a bad movie with female cast than an actually good movie with diverse group of men.
-Metacritic
Another gender swap movie trying to show equality and how "empowered" women are.. It belongs in the garbage bin along with the people it caters to.
- Zisis151 Jun 10, 2018
Stop living your life in fear. Make the best movies that you can make and fear not who you offend.
What about all these remakes?
Well there certainly seems like everything is up for grabs in Hollywood. Everything, apparently, can be recast now as either all-female roles or gender swapped. It’s the progressive way. Don’t you know.
But all this is being done absolutely wrong. They are redoing successful films to fit a SJW narrative. Of course, it is bound to fail. People, you produce movies and shows to ENTERTAIN. Not to lecture, or push a particular political agenda.
Concentrate on entertainment.
Concentrate on entertaining your audience.
Some Ideas
Here’s some ideas on how to properly implement progressive ideas into Hollywood movies in such a way that you will not alienate your viewing audience.
First of all, you can have strong female roles that are uniquely female. You do not have the need to apprehend those roles from men…
Entertainment.
The purpose of movies are to entertain. There are many ways to do this. But, no matter what, do not be under the impression that Hollywood has the sole ownership of this medium.
If Hollywood continues to produce lackluster films, the cash-paying audience will start to ignore the movies as not worthy of their time. They will go elsewhere.
You need to entertain.
Thirdly, absurdity is fine.
It’s ok. Everyone knows that this is fiction. So you can create movies as off-the-wall as you would like.
Now. Here’s some ideas…
Some are all-female.
Some are gender swaps.
Others are race or religion swaps.
It’s all part of the new progressive reality. Come on! You’ve got to be fair about it all, right? But only, this time, please concentrate on entertainment.
The Rat Patrol.
Here we have a famous 1960’s series about four men who fight the Nazi’s in Africa by riding jeeps in the desert. We could gender swap them to four women. We could modernize them. Yeah! That’s right. Four women riding high, machine gunning ISIS warriors in the hot desert heat.
They can all be Muslim, head scarves and all, and are fighting the evil ISIS’s and their paternity, and Privilege. They can all wear veils, and long flowing African outfits and carry Tommy guns and Beretta’s under their flowing garments. They could rescue captured women at slave auctions, perform night raids in ISIS camps, and assassinate ISIS leadership.
Have them attractive. Have them wear attractive Arabic clothing. Something like this beauty…
Have them riding specially modified Lamborghini’s and Ferrari’s. You know, with a twin barrelled .50 caliber machine gun, and all sorts of 007 James Bond style high-tech gadgetry. Make it a cross between Raging Women getting back at people who abused them, and a fully equipped mad-scientist lair. Take elements from Miami Vice, and blend it with a little bit of Doctor Phibes.
Make it DIFFERENT.
Oh, and make their outfits extraordinary. Make women want to wear Arabic styled clothing.
You need to understand. By using a “Rat Patrol” template you can create an entirely new series with entirely new characters and situationals without any association from whence the idea was derived from.
Be brave. Push yourself.
The Rat Patrol took place during a tiny sliver of time (5 years) when the Nazi’s actually controlled portions of Northern Africa. I propose the much longer period of time (8+ years) when the ISIS controlled Syria.
The Munsters
We can have comedies.
Here, we could gender-swap Herman Muster for Harriet Munster, and have Lester (instead of Lilly) as his wife. (Or, maybe a same-sex relationship.) Maybe she could be an Uber driver who is also a Rastafarian who uses comically conspired voodoo on riders in her car.
It would be in color instead of black and white. It could take place on 1313 bad luck lane on a hilly portion of San Francisco. They would be on food stamps, and live in a “colorful” section of town.
Use different theme music. Maybe some kind of upbeat rap.
Make it outrageous. Make it stand apart. Make it so offensive to everyone, and make fun of everything, and the more politically incorrect the BETTER.
have jokes that cater to both Conservatives and Progressives. Mix it up. Make it outrageous!
Grandpa will be replaced with a vampire transgender Grandma, you know, like a Frankenstein creature gone loopy. And the kids can stay the same. That would work, wouldn’t you all think? As an added bonus, we could have Eddie Munster a Muslim Female, and his sister a black transgender gender-less person with three boobs.
The more absurd, the better.
The jokes can all be about modern progressive lifestyle where everyone is just as crazy as they are, and how it is like to fit into modern life in San Francisco. Have them fall in love with an Antifa activist, and have them play checkers with lit candles.
The gags can abound.
For instance, Fido can be free-spirited saber-toothed tiger. Each week with a different hair style and color. They could have ties to the Addams Family, and Harriet Munster can work at the county morgue. They can make comments about the staff filming the episodes, and joke about Hollywood insiders.
Just let it out and sway in the wind.
The Andy Griffith Show
You can take traditional America and turn it on it’s head. Just take a normal traditional show and twist and distort it into something completely different. Use different names, and different circumstances.
How about an all-woman Andy Griffith show.
Yeah in small town Mayberry RFD, a woman sheriff and her female deputy keep order in the town. You’ve got a female Otis, and a female Gomer, and a cast of characters that includes a female hairdresser, a female mayor and the daughter of the sheriff. Call it Mayberry Woman’s Auxiliary RFD.
Put elements of food in it. Each week, nice juicy closeups of food porn. All with oozy melted cheese, and sizzling images of meat, and slow motion cutting of fresh bread.
Now, don’t look at me cross-eyed. It could work.
If you are willing to step outside of your West-coast bubble, do some REAL marketing, and brush off some good-old-fashioned movie skills and work… work… work.
All Female remake of Kelly’s Heroes
Of course, we should have a rolling good time with a all-female remake of Kelly’s Heroes. How about that?
During World War II, Lieutenant Kelly learns of a German bank located behind enemy lines containing 16 million dollars in gold bars. His platoon, led by Big Joe, has three days of R&R coming, so, with the aid of hustler Crapgame, anachronistic hippie Oddball, three Sherman tanks and a touch of irreverence, Kelly leads his men deep into French territory to steal the gold for themselves.
-123 Movies
Do it differently. Have the gaggle of gals break into a military base and steal three tanks and then go on a USA-wide bank-robbing spree. Put it in the mid-1990’s and play popular Grunge music from that time period. Have it so that they end up having a parade of people following them sort of like “Forrest Gump” in the running scene.
Model the FBI and other police agencies as a kind of updated “Keystone Cops”.
Have the news media reporting but as a real parody of themselves. Show them making up news, interviewing actors pretending they are eye-witnesses, and generally clueless.
Make it a cross between the movies “9 to 5”, “One Crazy Summer”, and “The Great Train Robbery”.
Follow the same kind of model that was used in the movie “Brother where art thou”; the tales of the adventures of Ulysses. You couldn’t tell the source inspiration for the movie could you?
The Dukes of Hazzard
In this remake, we can have an urban version of the Dukes of Hazzard.
Only it can be about a gang of black urban youth called “The Dukes” who live in a fictional section of Chicago called “The Hazzard” which is a dangerous old industrial area. (You know with pits of sulfuric acid, rusty chains hanging everywhere, lots of metal grid scaffolding, and tons of long deserted buildings and machinery.) They fight the corrupt “Boss” of the town as they cart meth from one end of the town to another, while dealing with the local constables and a pimp that goes by the name of Boss Hog.
Oh, and they drive in a pimped out white BMW that they call the Lil Layzie . The series can feature different rap songs every episode. It could work. I tell you.
Roots
Oh boy! I can see all the BLM howling. But, it makes sense, actually. The very first slaves to the Americas were Irish. It might not be the politically correct thing to say, but it is historically truthful.
Of course the progressives have done their best to rewrite this narrative. You can find their rebuttals at the very top of all the Google and Bing search results. But, it's not a fantasy. Personally, it's a small part of my very own family legacy.
Yeah, now let’s have a gender swap and race swap of the television series Roots. Yeah. After all that is what progressiveness is all about, isn’t it?
Or is it about POWER?
Conclusion
You can gender swap all you want using similar themes and context, however the movie (or television show) should stand alone on it’s own merits.
You absolutely cannot produce a female version, or a different racial version, of a long held and long established character, theme or franchise successfully.
The reason for this is simple. People gravitate to the familiar, and are repelled by that they are unaccustomed to.
You should branch out and try something different that can stand alone and aloof. Give it depth and breadth and substance. make it immersive, and people will fall in love with your for it.
Follow the Lord of the Rings model.
You will know that you are successful when few people would associate your new creation with the movie or show that you might have spawned if off of.
The failures (in Hollywood movies) that we see today, are due to inappropriate pandering to an aggressive SJW army for “progressive justice” in lieu of actual content that can be successfully monetized.
I argue that while there might be protective and conservative reasons for accepting this pandering venue, it is counter productive in the long run.
As such I argue that the creative license should be used creatively, and in such a way that the final product cannot, would not, or in any way be associated with some sort of SJW revisionism effort.
Posts Regarding Life and Contentment
Here are
some other similar posts on this venue. If you enjoyed this post, you
might like these posts as well. These posts tend to discuss growing up
in America. Often, I like to compare my life in America with the society
within communist China. As there are some really stark differences
between the two.
More Posts about Life
I have
broken apart some other posts. They can best be classified about ones
actions as they contribute to happiness and life. They are a little
different, in subtle ways.
Articles & Links
You’ll not
find any big banners or popups here talking about cookies and privacy
notices. There are no ads on this site (aside from the hosting ads – a
necessary evil). Functionally and fundamentally, I just don’t make money
off of this blog. It is NOT monetized. Finally, I don’t track you
because I just don’t care to.
Here is a movie that I loved as a kid. There are people who think that it is a piece of Satanic propaganda. I disagree. I just think that it is a chunky tongue in cheek, campy, pseudo horror flick from the 1970’s.
Here’s my take on this masterpiece of camp.
They just don’t make ‘em like The Abominable Dr. Phibes* anymore. In fact, they just don’t make ‘em like Vincent Price anymore, either. Dr. Phibes, first off, is the definitive role that Vincent Price was born to play, and second off, is firmly embedded in a different time. He belongs to the era of 1950s EC Comics horror titles such as “Tales from the Crypt,” “The Vault of Horror,” and “Weird Fantasy.”
-All Horror
A Satanic Movie?
Well, well. It turns out that the Church of Satan founder Anton Szandor LaVey has claimed that the main character in this Vincent Price film was based on him.
I would have never even associated Vincent Price with any kind or works of Satan. He was, after all, just an actor who played Satanic roles to the “T”.
The Abominable Dr. Phibes is a 1971 British dark comedy horror film, produced by Ronald S. Dunas and Louis M. Heyward, directed by Robert Fuest, written by William Goldstein and James Whiton, and starring Vincent Price and Joseph Cotten. Its art deco sets, dark humour, and performance by Price have made the film and its sequel Dr. Phibes Rises Again cult classics.
-Wikipedia.
Anyways, this character’s name is Dr. Anton Phibes and he’s an organist, researcher, medical doctor, biblical scholar and ex-vaudevillian who has created a clockwork band of robot musicians to play old standards at his whim.
Now, in hindsight, seeing as how nearly all of these things match up with Satanist LaVey, I can kind of see his point. Kinda.
Though, this movie isn’t going to be useful for recruiting anyone to follow Satan, I’m afraid.
“I won’t do another Phibes film unless Robert Fuest directs it. He’s the only person in the world who is mad enough to direct the Dr. Phibes films. He’s a genuine, registered nut! He even looks like a madman. He’s all over the place, like an unmade bed. What imagination he has. They were all his ideas…. Bob has never done anything that was nearly as good as the Dr. Phibes films.” — Vincent Price, 1979
The Movie
The sets in this movie are amazing and lavish.
This movie is one I can’t be quiet about. It’s one of the strangest and most delightful films I’ve ever seen.
Dr. Phibes (his particular field is never given) is an underground aristocrat in early 20th-century London, who is bereaved of his late wife Victoria after a fatal car crash. Phibes himself is also presumed dead by the authorities, since his own car went off a cliff when he was en route to his wife. Victoria died on the operating table, the doctors unable to help her, and now Dr. Phibes has sworn vengeance against the doctors he blames for his wife’s death.
So what, he’s going to hire lawyers and sue for malpractice? Oh no, much too common. He’s going to kill them off one by one! To do so, he’s going to hatch contrived murder traps based (very loosely) upon the ten plagues of Egypt mentioned in both the Quran and the Bible. What, do you expect him to take a gun and shoot them, like a bourgeois commoner? Nope, his traps involve several species of animal, in between intricate mechanical devices that must have cost a fortune to research and manufacture for this single use. He also has a pendant necklace for each victim, which he will hang around a wax bust of its target after a successful kill and melt with a blowtorch.
-All Horror
Dr. Anton Phibes died in Switzerland, racing back home upon hearing the news that his beloved bridge Victoria (an uncredited Caroline Munro) had died during surgery.
The truth is that Phibes has survived, scarred beyond belief and unable to speak, but alive. He uses all of the skills that he’s mastered to rebuild his face and approximate a human voice.
Oh yeah. Aside from all that, he also may or may not be a tad bit insane.
Now, Phibes believes that the doctors who operated on his wife were incompetent and therefore must pay for their insolence. So he does what anyone else would do: visit the Biblical ten plagues of Egypt on every single one of them.
Now people, listen up! That’s how you get revenge, and do it properly.
Phibes is, of course, played by Vincent Price. No one else could handle this role. Or this movie.
There’s hardly any dialogue for the first ten minutes of the movie. Instead, there are long musical numbers of Phibes and his clockwork band playing old standards. In fact, Phibes doesn’t speak for the first 32 minutes of the movie.
Anyone who asks questions like “Why?” and says things like “This movie makes no sense” will be dealt with accordingly.
After the first few murders, Inspector Trout gets on the case. He becomes Phibes’ main antagonist for this and the following film, trying to prove that all of these murders — the doctors and nurse who had been on the team of Dr. Vesalius (Joseph Cotten!) — are connected.
Phibes then stays one step ahead of the police, murdering everyone with bees, snow, a unicorn statue, locusts and rats, sometimes even right next to where the cops have staked him out.
Vulnavia
Dr. Phibes is assisted by the lovely Vulnavia. We’re never informed that she’s a robot, but the opinion of others, she actually is. Both she and the doctor are the most fashion-forward of all revenge killers I’ve seen outside of Meiko Kaji and Christina Lindberg.
Writer William Goldstein wrote Vulnavia as another clockwork robot with a wind-up key in her neck. Fuest thought that Phibes demanded a more mobile assistant, so he made her human, yet one with a blank face and mechanical body movements.
"Easy does it. I think it's a left-handed thread." — Policeman unscrewing a victim impaled by a unicorn horn, The Abominable Dr. Phibes
I still like to think that she’s a machine, particularly because she returns in the next film after her demise here. Also — Fuest rewrote nearly the entire script.
The Key to the Heart
After killing off everyone else — sorry Terry-Thomas! — Phibes
kidnaps Dr. Vesalius’ son and implants a key inside his heart that will
unlock the boy. However, if the doctor doesn’t finish the surgery on his
son in six minutes — the same amount of time he had spent trying to
save Phibes’ wife — acid will rain down and kill both he and his boy.
Against all odds, Vesalius is successful.
But… Poor Vulnavia.
Vulnavia, in the middle of destroying Phibes’ clockwork orchestra, is sprayed by the acid and killed while the doctor himself replaces his blood with a special fluid and lies down to eternal sleep with his wife, happy that he has had his revenge.
The Ten Plagues
If you’re interested, the ten plagues Phibes unleashes are:
Blood: He drains all of Dr. Longstreet’s blood
Frogs: He uses a mechanical frog mask to kill Dr. Hargreaves at a costume party
Bats: A more cinematic plague than lice from the Biblical plagues, Phibes uses these airborne rodents to kill Dr. Dunwoody
Rats: Again, better than flies, rats overwhelm Dr. Kitaj and cause his plane to crash
Pestilence: This one is a leap, but the unicorn head that kills Dr. Whitcombe qualifies
Boils: Professor Thornton is stung to death by bees
Hail: Dr. Hedgepath is frozen by an ice machine
Locusts: The nurse is devoured by them thanks to an ingenious trap
Darkness: Phibes joins his wife in eternal rest during a solar eclipse
Death of the firstborn: Phibes kidnaps and the son of Dr. Vesalius
I love that this movie appears lost in time. While set in the 1920’s,
many of the songs weren’t released until the 1940’s. Also, Phibes has
working robots and high technology, despite the era the film is set in.
There’s nothing quite like this movie. I encourage you to take the rest of the day off and savor it.
A Satanic Film?
How does Phibes live up to being a Satanic film? In my opinion, Phibes embodies one of the nine Satanic statements to its utmost: Satan represents vengeance instead of turning the other cheek.
Indeed, the men and woman whose negligence led to the loss of Phibes’ wife were never punished. Phibes had to become their judge, jury and yes, destroyer.
On the other hand — or hoof, as it were — Phibes is the exact antithesis of the ninth Satanic sin, Lack of Aesthetics, which states that “an eye for beauty, for balance, is an essential Satanic tool and must be applied for greatest magical effectiveness.
It’s not what’s supposed to be pleasing—it’s what is.
Aesthetics is a personal thing, reflective of one’s own nature, but there are universally pleasing and harmonious configurations that should not be denied.” So much of what makes this film is that Phibes’ musical art is just as essential as his demented nature and abilities.
Music is the core of his soul, not just revenge.
Back to Dr. Anton LaVey
Another point of view comes from Draconis Blackthorne of the Sinister Screen: “This is an aesthetically-beauteous film, replete with Satanic architecture as well as ideology. Those who know will recognize these subtle and sometimes rather blatant displays.
Obviously, to those familiar with the life of our Founder, there are several parallels between the Dr. Anton Phibes character and that of Dr. Anton LaVey – they even share the same first name, and certain propensities.”
So maybe it is a kind of homage to Satanist Dr. Anton LaVey.
Conclusion
Homage or not, it’s a great movie, and a fun watch. It’s not like anyone is going to be seduced to the dark side by this movie. It’s just plain campy fun.
This film is an intriguing tale of revenge. The sets are “70s spectacular” and the performances by Price and North are extraordinary. There are a few elements that really make this horror movie work:
• The murders are done in very creative and ingenious ways, using intricate devices and techniques. (Somebody watched The Abominable Dr Phibes before writing the horror movie Saw I’m sure)
• Vincent Price pulls no punches in his over-the-top portrayal of the good doctor, and makes him believable, as only Vincent Price could.
• Humor and levity intermix with horror and intrigue, and this rescues The Abominable Dr Phibes from being a total cheese-fest.
• The style and, well, “bigness” of the visuals, characters and music result in this not just being a great Vincent Price movie, but a work of art where every element fits together just right.
The Abominable Dr Phibes showcases the brilliance of 70s style and of the mastery of Vincent Price. Many of the younger folks may have missed him altogether, which is a shame. I do think, though, that one of the best contributions that the freak-show Michael Jackson has made to the world is introducing Vincent Price to a whole new generation of horror-buffs by using his voice in the pop music hit “Thriller” from the 80s. Now, watch The Abominable Dr Phibes and REALLY get a taste of what made this man great.
-Horror Freak News
You can watch it for free if you don’t mind waiting a half an hour to half a day to download the torrent.
For those of you who are unaware. Torrents are parts of files that are spread out in tiny packets all over the internet. You use a "Bit Torrent" client to vacuum up all those little bits and pieces of the file. It then assembles the file into a movie that you can watch. The time that this takes can vary from a few minutes to weeks depending on how popular or obscure your searched file is.
You will need an application to manage the download. I recommend the free application VUZE. To download the video is thus easy. Install VUZE, and then click on one of the following torrent links.
Depending on where you live, you might not have the freedom to access these sites and the ISP might block them from access, or the search engines might black out their search results. Americans, in particular, might have some real problems. Therefore, I listed the most accessible torrent sites available to Americans. Pirate Bay and 1337X. I think that Kick Ass Torrents is still blocked for all Americans.
Google and Bing will most certainly block certain websites, and avoid others at the request of the United States government. From “Uncle Sam’s” point of view, you go after the “low handing fruit” that the vast bulk of Americans use. Then ridicule the outliers as “misfits”, “deplorables”, and “Nazi’s”.
As far as privacy is concerned, Bing will alter the behavior of the Search Engine if you live in the EU.
Movies that Inspired Me
Here are some movies that I consider noteworthy and worth a view. Enjoy.
Stories that Inspired Me
Here are
reprints in full text of stories that inspired me, but that are nearly
impossible to find in China. I place them here as sort of a personal
library that I can use for inspiration. The reader is welcome to come
and enjoy a read or two as well.
My Poetry
Articles & Links
You’ll not
find any big banners or popups here talking about cookies and privacy
notices. There are no ads on this site (aside from the hosting ads – a
necessary evil). Functionally and fundamentally, I just don’t make money
off of this blog. It is NOT monetized. Finally, I don’t track you
because I just don’t care to.
I have composed a number of posts that involved special effects by Ray Harryhausen. I listed them simply because, as a boy, the visuals and the adventure that was portrayed in the movies greatly appealed to me. They influenced me. Which was something that is most certainly lacking in the latest Hollywood fare. (That is, unless you are an LGBT with an inferiority complex.)
Here, I want to discuss another of his great works. The Golden Voyage of Sinbad.
Sinbad and his crew intercept a homunculus carrying a golden tablet. Koura, the creator of the homunculus and practitioner of evil magic, wants the tablet back and pursues Sinbad. Meanwhile Sinbad meets the Vizier who has another part of the interlocking golden map, and they mount a quest across the seas to solve the riddle of the map, accompanied by a slave girl with a mysterious tattoo of an eye on her palm. They encounter strange beasts, tempests, and the dark interference of Koura along the way.
-AVXHM
The Movie
It all starts to unravel when Sinbad fires an arrow at a strange creature that flies over his ship.
As the creature dodges the arrow, it ends up dropping an amulet it is carrying. Let me pause here for a second. A strange creature? It’s carrying a magic (we suppose, after all what other purpose would an amulet have) amulet, which it drops, and Sinbad gathers up.
Sinbad makes landfall, and almost immediately meets an evil sorcerer. We know he is evil because he immediately engages Sinbad in fisticuffs. His attempts to forcibly take the amulet from Sinbad is rebuffed.
The sorcerer’s name is Koura. He’s a fellow that you don’t want to get tangled up with.
So Sinbad seeks out a safe haven, and is eventually granted refuge by the benevolent ruler of the city, known as the Grand Vizier. This fellow too has tangled up with Koura. For today he has been forced to hide his face behind a beaten gold mask. You see, his face is all terribly disfigured after Koura burnt it away with a fireball.
The Vizier shows Sinbad a companion amulet and the drawing of a third one. All three amulets form a map that leads to a fountain of youth on the island of Lemuria.
Harryhausen’s creations include the winged, miniature homunculus; an ensorcelled figurehead that tears itself loose from Sinbad’s ship; a one-eyed centaur; a gryphon that guards the Fountain of Destiny; and, most impressively, a six-armed statue of Kali which performs an Indian dance before dueling against Sinbad’s men with six swords.
It’s really the Kali sequence that makes this such a memorable film.
With his typical attention to detail, Harryhausen hired an Indian dancer (Surya Kumari, also a noted actress and singer) to choreograph and perform as Kali with one of her students strapped to her back.
The dance was then scored with Indian musicians, and the sudden switch in flavor (as our ears have already been conditioned to an hour or so of Rózsa’s romantic adventure music) is in synch with the charged, magical atmosphere of the statue coming to life.
For the swordfight, nearly as elaborate as the celebrated skeleton battle in Jason and the Argonauts, stunt choreographer Fernando Poggi tied three of his men together to rehearse the action with the actors, then removed themselves and let the actors shadow-box before the cameras, with Harryhausen’s Kali to be added later.
It’s a showstopping fight and, it must be said, far more rousing than the typical poke-with-spears action that so many Harryhausen action scenes become (or, in fact, the earlier scene with the ship’s figurehead). It’s one for the highlight reels.
-Midnight Only
With the complete amulet, The Grand Vizier will be able to stop Koura’s ravages on the kingdom. And so Sinbad and the Vizier set sail on an expedition to Lemuria.
However, Koura desires the amulet too. As all bad guys learn sooner or later, there is a price when using dark magic. His use of the amulet has taken it’s tool. For each time he used it, a little bit of life was stolen from him. Thus, he needs and covets that amulet in the vain hope of regaining his youth. You know, the youth and life that each spell he casts steals from him.
Koura sets sail determined to stop them. And thus, the adventure movie begins…
Some Background
It all sort of began with the movie The 7th Voyage of Sinbad (1958). This movie was a landmark in fantasy cinema, and was often imitated over the next decade.
Most importantly, it brought to prominence the name of special effects man Ray Harryhausen and his fantastical creatures. Now, Ray Harryhausen was more than just a specialist in the process of stop-motion animation. He was a genus. Here, it is much like claymation. Created figurines are meticulously moved and photographed one frame at a time.
He was so successful at it that Harryhausen went on to build a substantial career in this field over the next two decades.
He found a nitche in the world of Greek mythology. He would revisit the Sinbad mythos twice, here and later with the movie Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger (1977). The Golden Voyage of Sinbad is one of Ray Harryhausen’s most acclaimed works and one that shows him at the height of his art.
Most Ray Harryhausen films tend to be set around Harryhausen’s provision of profound creature effects. Which unfortunately tended to make the real actors and their intervening action rather wooden. However, as a child watching these movies, I noticed none of that.
The same is true with the dialog. No matter how chunky or cheesy it appeared, it always appealed to me. The quest for adventure screamed at me, and the livid monsters occupied my young impressionable mind.
When I was a child, The Golden Voyage of Sinbad (1973) and Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger (1977) were one and the same – a four-hour Sinbad miniseries, with all the islands, wizards, beautiful girls, and Ray Harryhausen monsters randomly distributed so that I wasn’t exactly sure which belonged to which.
Understand that every trip to the video store meant that I would stand there, staring at all the boxes, ruling out the R-rated films or anything that looked remotely adult (verboten when I was a child), and eventually, inevitably, I would grab a Ray Harryhausen movie and hand it to my mother or father, who would just say, “This one, again?”
Jason and the Argonauts (1963), Mysterious Island (1961), or a Sinbad movie. These films were the foundation stones upon which my imagination was built.
Even though the early 80’s belonged to George Lucas and Steven Spielberg, I always held the Harryhausen films in special regard. Before I even learned his name, I knew these films were connected – I recognized the stop-motion animation and the look of the monsters. (Of course that centaur only has one eye. He’s probably related to those cyclopes in The 7th Voyage of Sinbad.)
These films had special special effects. Having watched just about every non-R-rated fantasy movie on the video store shelves, I knew there was a significant difference between One Million B.C. (1940), the Victor Mature movie with lizards and armadillos posing as dinosaurs, and One Million Years B.C. (1966), the remake with Harryhausen’s pterodactyls lifting Raquel Welch off the ground.
You can’t dress a lizard up to look like a pterodactyl.
The funny thing is that I was appreciating the films from a point-of-view that was already becoming outdated. The days of stop-motion were coming to an end, with his swan song, Clash of the Titans (1981), released around the time that I was just beginning to appreciate his films.
Though both Lucas and Spielberg used stop-motion effects in Star Wars (1977) and Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981), by the end of the decade The Abyss (1989) would announce a new direction for cinema tricks.
-Midnight Only
Both Brian Clemens and Ray Harryhausen plunder world mythology somewhat indiscriminately. Which more often than not resulted in a kind of peculiar multi-cultural polyglot. Not that it matters, of course, but it is curious.
Today, as an adult, I guess that I am more of a purist. But as a kid, nah… who the heck cared? Consider their broad paintbrush. There is Kali from Hindu religion, a griffin and combination centaur/cyclops from the Greek myths, the homunculus from mediaeval alchemy, Lemuria, and of course the backdrop from the Arabian Nights cycle.
As an aside, did you know that the idea of Lemuria was first posited by biologist Ernst Haeckel in the 1870s. It preceded the notion of continental drift. It was used with the belief of a sunken land in order to explain how lemurs managed to get between Africa and India. Later, this theory was bastardized and quickly appropriated by the 19th Century Theosophist movement.
All of this trivality is far less important than the spectacular beauty of Ray Harryhausen’s various set-pieces. Which, by this time, were at the absolute peak of their form.
Harryhausen offers us [1] a six-armed statue of Kali brought to life in a sword-duel; [2] a to-the-death battle between a griffin and a cyclopean centaur; [3] a magically animated ship’s figurehead; and, best of all, [4] the homunculus that Tom Baker brings to life, teasing and prodding it, as it lies pinned to a table.
Harryhausen, who made this film with his longtime collaborator and co-producer Charles H. Schneer, was careful to separate this film from 7th Voyage; he seemed to dislike the label of “sequel.” (In his 2003 book An Animated Life, Harryhausen states that he and Schneer even “strenuously” tried to avoid the term regarding Eye of the Tiger, curiously enough.)
Indeed, the viewer need not have seen the former film, though naturally it exists in its shadow. The 7th Voyage of Sinbad is a classic of fantasy filmmaking to stand beside its chief inspiration, The Thief of Bagdad (1940).
Golden Voyage is just another fun Harryhausen movie, the perfect way to pass a Saturday afternoon.
Law does a credible job as our new Sinbad (replacing 7th Voyage‘s Kerwin Mathews), embodying Harryhausen’s image of the Arabian Nights hero: handsome, athletic, but not a bodybuilder.
The story, conceived by Harryhausen and revised, polished, and scripted by Brian Clemens (of the TV series The Avengers, as well as Captain Kronos, which also featured Caroline Munro), sends Sinbad on a treasure hunt on behalf of a disfigured Vizier in a golden mask (Douglas Wilmer, Jason and the Argonauts).
Their quest involves retrieving the lost pieces of an amulet, which will point the way to an ancient, magical source of great knowledge and power.
There’s always an evil magician in pursuit, of course, and in this case it’s Baker’s Prince Koura, who controls gargoyle-like homunculi and lusts after the same prize.
The story might be perfunctory, but it’s well-paced, with attractive location shooting in Spain to stand in for both the fictionalized Middle East and Lemuria. (Plans to shoot in India – which would have provided a wonderful look to the film – were discarded after hearing horror stories about “appalling red tape and bureaucracy” encountered by other Hollywood productions shooting there.)
Composer Miklós Rózsa (The Thief of Bagdad, Ben-Hur) is the ideal stand-in for 7th Voyage‘s Bernard Herrmann, capturing the appropriate “Orientalist” feel.
-Midnight Only
The Golden Voyage of Sinbad is also notable for many of the up-and-coming stars. There is Tom Baker who, the following year, would become the fourth incarnation of tv’s Doctor Who (1963-89). There is cult queen Caroline Munro; and Martin Shaw, later hunk hero of Clemens’ superior action man tv show The Professionals.
Conclusion
This is a great movie to introduce the kids to, to spend a lazy hazy august afternoon, or just to relax to. There are some amazing scenes, and nowhere else in movie-land will you see a six-armed statue of Kali which performs an Indian dance before dueling against Sinbad’s men with six swords. I enjoyed it and I think that maybe you the reader would enjoy it as well.
You can watch it for free if you don’t mind waiting a half an hour to half a day to download the torrent.
For those of you who are unaware. Torrents are parts of files that are spread out in tiny packets all over the internet. You use a "Bit Torrent" client to vacuum up all those little bits and pieces of the file. It then assembles the file into a movie that you can watch. The time that this takes can vary from a few minutes to weeks depending on how popular or obscure your searched file is.
You will need an application to manage the download. I recommend the free application VUZE. To download the video is thus easy. Install VUZE, and then click on one of the following torrent links.
Depending on where you live, you might not have the freedom to access these sites and the ISP might block them from access, or the search engines might black out their search results. Americans, in particular, might have some real problems. Therefore, I listed the most accessible torrent sites available to Americans. Pirate Bay and 1337X. I think that Kick Ass Torrents is still blocked for all Americans.
Movies that Inspired Me
Here are some movies that I consider noteworthy and worth a view. Enjoy.
Stories that Inspired Me
Here are
reprints in full text of stories that inspired me, but that are nearly
impossible to find in China. I place them here as sort of a personal
library that I can use for inspiration. The reader is welcome to come
and enjoy a read or two as well.
My Poetry
Articles & Links
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find any big banners or popups here talking about cookies and privacy
notices. There are no ads on this site (aside from the hosting ads – a
necessary evil). Functionally and fundamentally, I just don’t make money
off of this blog. It is NOT monetized. Finally, I don’t track you
because I just don’t care to.
Here we look at a wonderful, much under-appreciated, movie with special effects by Ray Harryhausen. It’s title is “Jason and The Argonauts” and it is simply beyond awesome. Words cannot describe what an impact that this move had on me as a young boy in the 1960’s.
But I will try…
There is a spectacular sequence in Harryhausen's most popular picture "Jason and the Argonauts" in which Jason and his crew do battle with seven sword fighting skeletons.
This is surely one of the greatest special effects sequences in motion picture history. There are shots in which the screen is filled with the men fighting all seven skeletons.
This means that Harryhausen would have to move each of the seven skeletons such that they match the chaotic live action footage of the men mock-fighting, shoot a frame, move them again one by one, shoot a frame, and so on. 24 frames make one second of action.
It is hard to imagine how Harryhausen did all the special effects on his films solo (save for his first and last films, on which he had help). And it is not surprising that the skeleton sequence from "Jason" took him four months to complete.
-Great Movies of my Childhood
This was one of those films I always remember seeing as a child and I will absolutely never forgot those skeletons which I think is Ray Harryhausen’s best work.
Ah. The skeletons…
Summary
It’s Greek mythology placed on screen; larger than life.
(Well-known & quite famous) Greek hero Jason takes a group by ship to search for the Golden Fleece. It’s not an easy sail. He uses the latest in nautical technology for the time, including a high-tech ship complete with magical navigational aides. However the crew has to encounter several dangers on the way.
The dangers start to raise their ugly heads when they lay anchor at an island to obtain provisions. You see this island is filled with bronze statues. In case you are unaware, bronze statues at that time was equivalent to swarm drones, and Mach-3 jet fighters.
Since these bronze statues are so valuable, the crew starts to get some funny and crazy ideas. One of the crew decides to go into one of the bronze statue guarded tombs. You know, to “look around”. He sees a beautiful gold sword, and of course… he just has to have it. So he takes it….
Big mistake.
This act wakes up Talos. Talos is the guardian of all the tombs. Thus, Talos comes to life and attacks the crew. Now, Talos is this big terminator bronze statue. It goes on an absolute rampage killing, crushing and destroying everything.
The good news is that eventually Talos is destroyed. Though, not without a cost. For during their escape from Talos, their ship is destroyed.
So, here they are trapped on the island. They start to explore it. They search for food water, and (perhaps) loot. While on the search of the island, they come across a blind man. This poor fella is being attacked by two cheeky Harpies who keep eating his food.
Eventually, they all get captured.
They continue their journey and encounter Neptune (he’s a major player; a God of that time) and arrive at their ultimate destination. Which is the island where the Golden Fleece is.
Before getting the Golden Fleece, Jason must fight and kill a Hydra. A Hydra is a many headed beast that likes to eat humans. Well, (spoiler alert) he does manage to kill it. The best part of the movie is of course those skeletons near the end. Jason manages to defeat them when they fall off a cliff into the sea. Hooray!
This has to be one of, if not the best, of Harryhausen’s movies. And, Bernard Herrmann was responsible for the excellent music.
The Movie
Jason and the Argonauts battles it out with The 7th Voyage of Sinbad as the most popular Ray Harryhausen epic. I know that I have a difficult time deciding which movie is better. (Though, Ray Harryhausen has indicated that Jason and the Argonauts his very own personal favorite. )
They certainly must have had fun filming it.
The crew filmed many of the scenes on beautify sunny Italian locations. These locations gave the movie special significance, and I’m sure the jealously of the rest of Hollywood. For at that time (when the picture was produced) most “sword ‘n’ sandal” movies were shot on Hollywood stages, or barring that, in the California desert a mere few hours drive away.
This movie is chock full of testosterone-filled animation interspersed with actors engaged in theatrical dramatic scenes. The colors, the story line, the visuals, and the novelty all play a significant role in the success of this movie.
In the wake of computer generated graphics, Harryhausen's work may strike some as dated, but this is actually part of its charm, for we will never see its like on screen again; it has a certain visual appeal not found in contemporary films, and Harryhausen's creations always have remarkable personality.
Topping the cake is an absolutely superb score by Bernard Herrmann. This guy is so good, and the music so powerful, that it’s mentally difficult to separate his music from Harryhausen’s amazing images. (This is my plug for this artist.)
At the time, this movie was the F/X dream, for that time period. Much like how the movie The Matrix revolutionized movies and scripts. This movie set a pace and a high bar for other adventures to follow. And, I am sad to say, it was so high that few movies did actually follow.
This movie is an adaptation of the Greek story about Jason and the Golden Fleece.
Most people will find this film an excellent choice as a “family night” film. As for Harryhausen fans–the film is a must-see, must-own, and must-watch as often as possible!
In Greek mythology, the Golden Fleece is the fleece of the golden-woolled, winged ram, which was heldin Colchis. The fleece is a symbol of authority and kingship. It figures in the tale of the hero Jason and his crew of Argonauts, who set out on a quest for the fleece by order of King Pelias, in order to place Jason rightfully on the throne of Iolcus in Thessaly. Through the help of Medea, they acquire the Golden Fleece. The story is of great antiquity and was current in the time of Homer.
-Wilipedia
Luckily, the movie adaptation doesn’t take too many liberties with the root mythological tale. Though purists would argue that it actually does go off the deep end (This opinion varies considerably depending on which source is consulted.).
In this movie, we have the interplay of the Greek Gods, and their role over the lives of men. The movie places the Gods in a gilded Olympus paradise. The well-paired Zeus and Hera, are husband & wife deities that work out their domestic squabbles by playing chess games. Only the chess games use ambitious mortals like Jason.
All in all, they manage to keep tabs on Jason’s adventures by viewing a kind of celestial television. (!)
The Olympian interludes add a wry humor to the proceedings. Though, myself, I found life on Olympias rather dull and boring.
Jason shows up as the “man with one sandal” to fulfill a curse placed on the venal King Pelias. I know, I know… It’s difficult to translate. I just figure that it’s a matter of identity politics and leave it at that.
The wild quest to bring back the prize of the Golden Fleece gets a thumbs-up from the collected deities. I figure that this is mainly because Pelias wants Jason out of the way.
Thus, the King sends along his son Acastus to make sure that everything goes as planned.
With a crack crew of athletes and warriors, including the popular Hercules , Jason sets sail in a proud ship built by Argos. After tangling with various fantastic obstacles (after all, that is what heroes do) put in his path by Zeus, Jason reaches the far-off land of Colchis.
Oh Jason. He falls in love with the sorceress Medea. But what do you expect. He falls victim to treachery. It turns out that Medea’s father King Aeëtes has absolutely no intention of allowing the Argonauts steal his nation’s most prized possession.
A great deal could be written about the numerous choices made in reconstructing the story for a modern movie-going audience, but for our purposes, we are going to zero in on one of the film’s most memorable components. No, not Jason. Not Argonauts, either. I’m talking, of course, about the mountainous man of bronze, Talos.
There’s a wealth of reasons why Jason and the Argonauts continues to entertain over half a century later, and Talos is most certainly one of the biggest.
Literally. Brought to life through the inimitable stop motion effects of the late, great Ray Harryhausen,the towering Talos appears early in the film to give the Argonauts a considerable thrashing after Heracles unwittingly disturbs his slumber.
It’s generally unwise to steal broach pins from the gods for use as a javelin, but Heracles evidently didn’t get that particular memo.
-GRST 202 Blog
Of all of Ray Harryhausen’s movies, Jason and the Argonauts is closest to his heart. In life, he found mythological fantasies more exciting than science fiction monsters. As such, he wanted very much to tell the story of the Golden Fleece in classic terms.
The film is of course now a legend unto itself and contains some of Harryhausen’s most difficult animation and classiest designs.
The bronze giant Talos creates an intimidating sense of scale as it stalks Jason’s men on a beach.
The harpies scream and claw as they’re captured, apparently animated while under a net.
The seven-headed Hydra is Harryhausen’s most successful mythological creation, a beast so well designed that it seems biologically credible.
The skeletal “Children of the Hydra’s Teeth” do much more than top the single skeleton warrior in 7th Voyage. Soldiers battling armies of the dead recur in classical paintings, giving the combat a macabre edge. The sight of Jason and his swordsmen fighting them en masse is also a brilliant substitute for the lame battle scenes of other sword ‘n’ sandal epics.
Indeed, those skeletal beings were a triumph of Harryhausen’s F/X technique. Truthfully, the sequence must have required more animation work than the rest of the movie put together. You can easily see this, as the seven skeletons fight in so many individual camera setups.
Unlike most Harryhausen set pieces, the skeleton battle constantly cuts to new angles. With so much happening simultaneously in each shot, it’s hard to keep up — which prompts the use of words like, “breathtaking”.
Talos, of course, has a history deeply rooted in classical Greek myth. Often considered the earliest conceptualization of a robot, Talos is usually found associated with the gods Hephaestus and Zeus. Sometimes he’s a leftover of the Zeus-created bronze generation, other times he’s the offspring or father of Hephaestus, sometimes he’s a gift from Zeus to King Minos, other times a gift from Hephaestus to Zeus – the permutations are endless.
Regardless of the myth, however, one connection remains consistent: the Cretan word from which Talos derives his name – talios, meaning “sun” – was frequently used by those islanders as a name for the king of the gods himself. Not only does this shared use of the term allude to the giant’s immense power, but it also hints at his role as a somewhat paternal figure. Indeed, Talos was known as the tireless guardian of Crete, a sentinel who would circumambulate the island three times daily to moderate the behavior and livelihood of its citizens.
Moreover, he would vigorously defend his land from any intruders, and in keeping with his solar-derived name, his preferred method of executing perceived threats was, by all accounts, incineration. Depending on who you ask, the giant would either snatch up poor souls and leap with them into a flaming vat, or he would heat up his own metallic body to incredible degrees and scorch his opponents through mere physical interaction.
His love of turning folks to ash was unfortunately excised from his on-screen debut, but that does not make his appearance in the film any less memorable.
Though traditionally depicted as Crete’s conservator, Jason and the Argonauts finds Talos holding watch over the aptly named (and movie-created) “Isle of Bronze,” placed there by Hephaestus to guard Zeus’s armory.
-GRST 202 Blog
Kids back in 1963 reacted strongly to almost everything in the picture.
Tipped off by Famous Monsters magazine, many of us waited anxiously for the next jolting effects scene to begin. We were also thrilled by Nigel Green’s hale & hearty Hercules and cheered the announcement of his name. We fully accepted the idea that a strong man shouldn’t have to be so buff that he couldn’t walk through a normal door.
As in The Magnificent Seven, the assembling of Jason’s all-star collection of sailors / assault troops primed us for what we hoped would be the greatest sword & spear battle of all time. And… and we were not disappointed.
The film’s smoothly professional acting impressed me.
With all of those classy English accents flying about, Jason and the Argonauts had a credibility that the various Sons of Hercules lacked. Even the middle-aged Laurence Naismith looked righteously rugged, dressed only in a loincloth and clinging to the prow of the Argo: “Pull ’til your hearts burst and your backs break!”
You see, Talos might be made of bronze, but he draws his life force from a single vein flowing down his back to his heel, where it is stopped by some sort of large plug. Whether described as a nail or a pin, that plug naturally gets pulled at some point by one of the heroes, thus draining Talos of life. In many cases that hero is Medea, who uses trickery to deceive the living statue, while in others it is the Argonaut Poeas who knocks out the stopper with his trusty bow and arrow.
Seeing as how the adventurers have yet to encounter Medea at this point in the film and that Poeas is absent entirely, the eponymous hero himself takes up the deed, acting under the guidance of Hera. Even disregarding the aforementioned characters’ absences, it makes sense to thrust this duty upon Jason in this context. As his first act of true heroism, the defeat of the Talos establishes Jason as a courageous leader and a man fit for this epic quest – someone capable of navigating the many challenges that lie ahead.
-GRST 202 Blog
In his old “Film Fantasy Scrapbook” Harryhausen mentioned that he was impressed by the fact that the hero Jason’s big quest is really a raid for loot. He believed that the Argonauts are little more than thieves.
Those foreigners beyond the clashing rocks have exactly what Greece needs, a magic charm that brings peace, plenty and prosperity.
Jason as a nice-guy hero doesn’t get in the way of the colorful supporting actors and the giant monsters. However, it’s quite odd to see Medea as virtuous. After all, she sells out her father, her country and her religion for a fling with the new boy in town.
Obviously, there’s a reason why the movie doesn’t dig into the psychology behind the myths. And it shouldn’t. For Jason and the Argonauts is a splendid fantasy of spectacular adventure no more and no less.
It’s been a long time since I last watched this movie. It was on a blistery “school day” when all the roads were iced over, and I was around ten years old at the time. Never the less, the torrent that I watched was spectacular, clear and colorful.
I have read reports that there were alterations to the original film.
For years, 16mm copies of Jason placed Medea's temple dance way out of sequence, before the Argonauts reach Colchis. The Blu-ray of course fixes this while improving on all earlier home video releases. Grover Crisp of Sony wisely chose a slightly taller 1:66 aspect ratio, which adds image to the top and bottom of the frame while placing narrow pillars at the sides of the HD image. Harryhausen purists will be pleased to see less cropping of the effects. The added color detail of Blu-ray brings out hidden character in the main title artwork, and gives the green highlights on Talos' bronze skin more definition. Likewise, the Golden Fleece is returned to its impressive sparkly-but-organic look -- the golden glow effect has been toned down quite a bit.
I do like the movie, and it’s an absolute fact that the movie uses clever camera tricks and some well made miniatures. Yes, of course the effects all look out dated now but they still surprisingly, look convincing enough and at times they are even still simply breathtaking and spectacular to look at.
Especially of course the legendary, fantastic end fight against the skeleton warriors. The story is like good entertainment should be; Adventurous, exciting and simple to follow. The movie truly is non stop fun entertainment to watch with lots of spectacular moments with the legendary skeleton fight as the ultimate highlight.
You don’t have to be a fan of ‘classic’ movies in order to enjoy this movie, everyone should be able to appreciate this movie and be entertained by it, especially when you are a fan of ancient Greek tales.
Something that is not praised enough of this movie is the musical score by Bernard Herrmann. The movie is not exactly filled with impressive and memorable actors. As many movies as I have seen in my life, I don’t think I have ever seen any actors from this movie in any other movie, with the exception of course of Honor Blackman who will always be remembered for playing the Bond girl Pussy Galore in “Goldfinger”.
But this movie clearly isn’t a character-adventure movie, it’s a special effect adventure movie. The special effects are really the most important element of the movie. So for the fans of special effects this is especially most definitely a must see. A movie that should be fun and enjoyable to everyone, of all ages.
Heracles is presented, not as a young ripped body builder, but as one would expect a middle-aged strong man to be: Formidable, a little grey and a little swaggering. It’s a perfect imagery.
Argos, the ship builder, is tan and fat, as one would expect the veteran of many sea voyages to be.
The crew looks like what one would expect a crew of ancient Greeks to look like. The acting is not spectacular, but sincere. No one looks embarrassed to be in this movie. It is tight with great special effects…
It’s wonderful for children…
The seven-headed Hydra is another technical marvel.
Talos. There are some other nifty creatures for Jason and his crew to battle, but for me, the most impressive of them all turns up first: the gigantic Talos, the Man of Bronze.
I was a kid when this came out, and I don’t think I’ll ever forget that moment when the huge, crouched statue came to life, turned his head towards the two men below him (his bronze head screeching with the tear of metal), climbed off of his pedestal, and proceeded to chase Jason and his men.
Talos was giant like Godzilla, but as single-minded as the Terminator: all he wants to do is track Jason’s crew down until he kills them all. This gave me nightmares.
Tom Hanks, who was also a kid when this came out, has said: "Everybody thinks that 'Citizen Kane' was the greatest movie ever made. But if you were young in 1963, you know the real answer is: 'Jason and the Argonauts.'"
In today’s world it may seem below standard compared to computer effects, but for those of us growing up in that time period, the Harryhausen style of special effects will continue to bring back warm memories of those years. With computer graphics, you see it and like it the first time you see it, but then many movies of today have the same and it becomes moot.
Jason and the Argonauts was one of those few movies at the time along with the Sinbad saga that lives on in your heart. The pace of the film is perfectly put together along with the many creatures, 7-headed hydra, huge fish-man, huge metal man and skeletons fighting is what makes it a classic which lives on in the hearts of those growing up in the sixties.
I enjoyed this as a kid, but now I look at it with different eyes.
Consider the subsequent misery of Jason and Medea, a gory tragedy of domestic abuse and revenge. It’s sad. No wonder there was no sequel to Jason, as the official follow-up is a timeless lesson. Perhaps it’s a lesson on what happens to women who love ambitious and unscrupulous glory-hunters.
Never the less, even with this glimpse of foreboding, I still enjoy the movie.
Greek myths are coded chronicles of human weakness, vice and crimes. I think that smart schoolteachers, politically restrained from addressing real-life issues, can use the Greek original tales to make kids think about the harsh facts of life.
As I have already mentioned, the scene that I remember the most (and pershpas what everyone else remembers as well) is the Skeleton Fight at the end which took Ray Harryhausen and special effects crew three months to create that entire sequence.
Talos had me frozen with fear and the Hydra and the skeletons were sights my eyes could not believe. I think that for first-time viewers, you might be somewhat primed for something similar to other movies of this kind of adventure, but Jason and the Argonauts will definitely be anything but what you are expecting.
This is a Great movie and I encourage all of “The Lord of The Rings” fans to watch this and see a great masterpiece of classic fantasy and old fashioned special effects.
Most, if not all, children love the film.
And for all one’s intellectual talk about the vulgarising of mythology and the crudity of the screenplay, there is no denying that this movie is spectacular on many levels.
It is blatantly obvious to all viewers that Harryhausen contrived to bring a lot of sparkle, excitement and fun into the world of fantastic cinema. At this he absolutely succeeded.
For sure it’s got a “B” movie heart, and no film in this genre is without a high cheese quota, but it’s technically one of the genres best and for daring do shenanigans it has no peers.
The gorgeous Mediterranean photography courtesy of Wilkie Cooper (Dynamation 90) goes hand in hand with the boisterously mythical score from Bernard Hermann, while Chaffrey's direction of the human aspects is solid and safe in preparation for Harryhausen's magic to move in and take over. The cast may not cover themselves in glory, and yes at times some of them are a touch wooden, with only Honor Blackman (Hera) and Nigel Green (Hercules) seemingly able to grasp the sense of fun that is meant to be had.
Here, in this movie, we have a big quest adventure containing harpies, a hydra, a giant bronze statue intent on destroying all, clashing rocks, angry gods and a brilliant Harryhausen skeleton army – well it’s all good, really isn’t it!
Here’s an interesting review, but I forgot from whence I dug it up from…
'Jason and the Argonauts' is a truly family fantasy-adventure film, directed with wit and excitement... Beverley Cross's fine script is both imaginative and literate, and Bernard Herrmann's score is stirring...
The word "Argonaut" comes from a tale sung of the strongest and bravest band of heroes ever assembled in Greek Mythology... This myth chronicles Jason's quest for the 'gift of the gods,' and the restoration of his family's throne...
There is an interesting theme that runs through the entire motion picture: man must manage alone without the help of the gods whether they exist or not...
In times past, fate ruled men's lives completely... The gods often amused themselves with the puny mortal men below... Fate is still an important factor in Jason's time (He has been prophesied to overthrow King Pelias...), but man chooses his own life's course... Jason lost his believe in the gods, and Zeus questions what has taken the place of man's faith in the gods... Jason replies: "The hearts of men. "
Jason rejects Zeus' offer to supply him with 'a ship and a crew,' and assembles dozen of Greece's greatest heroes, including the legendary Hercules... Nevertheless he accepts Hera's pledge to help him with the information and advice...
Jason has learned that prayers to the gods are not always answered... "The gods are best served by those who want their help least," Zeus alibis... When humans obtain the help of the gods, they know they must push forward... For instance, when Triton holds the quaking mountains, the Argonauts still must navigate their ship away from the dangerous rocks that continue to fall...
Jason dared to speak of the end of the gods, and challenges Zeus when he eliminates Talos, who guards Zeus' treasures... And when the Argonauts imprison the evil harpies whom Zeus sent to torment a desperate sinner, Zeus admits: "If I were to punish every blasphemy, I would soon loose all loyalty and respect."
Of the gods, Jason says, "In time all men will have to do without them." Such words alarm Zeus, and he recognizes as much to Hera, whom he considers "almost human" for staying with him despite such weakness... But the gods still have enough power to do their will... At the picture's end Zeus tells Hera that he will allow Jason and his pretty Medea to enjoy 'each other,' but he adds, "I have not yet finished with Jason... Let us continue with the game another day."
Todd Armstrong is the young and hot blooded Jason who schemes to seize the Golden Fleece from King Aeetes, and saves Pelias from drowning one day, losing his sandal in the river...
Nancy Kovack is Medea, the provocative high priestess of Colchis who is charmed with love for Jason and aid him in his quest...
Gary Raymond is Acastus, the son of Pelias sent to disrupt the voyage by causing dissension in the crew...
Niall MacGinnis is Zeus who decides to challenge Jason and the Argonauts with many trials...
Honor Blackman is the cunning Hera, the queen of the gods, who outmaneuvered Zeus, and intervened on several occasions to facilitate Jason's tasks... Hera wishes to destroy Pelias because he was treacherous and her temple was profane...
Michael Gwynn is Hermes who transports Jason to Olympus to speak with the gods...
Jack Gwillim is King Aeetes who collects the hydra's teeth from its seven heads, and confronts Jason high on a cliff...
John Cairney is the clever Hylas who uses his intelligence to beat Hercules in a test of skill...
Douglas Wilmer is the nefarious Pelias, who plots a devious plan to send Jason on an impossible quest, in a faraway land, to fetch the magical Golden Fleece...
Nigel Green is Hercules, the bravest and strongest warrior who vows to search the Isle of Bronze until he finds his friend Hylos...
Patrick Troughton is the old and weak Phineas cursed with an insatiable appetite and the flying harpies left enough putrid morsels for him to survive his torment...
'Jason and the Argonauts' is a tale of love and betrayal, friendship and fortune... It is nearly 40 years old but it still holds up as one of the semi-classic mythological fantasy which provides a framework for some splendid stop-frame animation...
Jason and the Argonauts is a fun movie.
The open ended nature of the story does hurt the film, but just come for the classic effects. Fans of mythology will enjoy the adventure, and it could introduce kids to classic stories. Jason and the Argonauts is definitely worth revisiting or seeking out if you’ve never seen it.
It’s also perfect fare for those lazy dog-day afternoons, or snowed-in weekends. It entertains on numerous levels. It is visually appealing, and wondrous overall.
Links
Here’s some links that you all might find of interest.
You can watch it for free if you don’t mind waiting a half an hour to half a day to download the torrent.
For those of you who are unaware. Torrents are parts of files that are spread out in tiny packets all over the internet. You use a "Bit Torrent" client to vacuum up all those little bits and pieces of the file. It then assembles the file into a movie that you can watch. The time that this takes can vary from a few minutes to weeks depending on how popular or obscure your searched file is.
You will need an application to manage the download. I recommend the free application VUZE. To download the video is thus easy. Install VUZE, and then click on one of the following torrent links.
Depending on where you live, you might not have the freedom to access these sites and the ISP might block them from access, or the search engines might black out their search results. Americans, in particular, might have some real problems. Therefore, I listed the most accessible torrent sites available to Americans. Pirate Bay and 1337X. I think that Kick Ass Torrents is still blocked for all Americans.
Movies that Inspired Me
Here are some movies that I consider noteworthy and worth a view. Enjoy.
Stories that Inspired Me
Here are
reprints in full text of stories that inspired me, but that are nearly
impossible to find in China. I place them here as sort of a personal
library that I can use for inspiration. The reader is welcome to come
and enjoy a read or two as well.
My Poetry
Articles & Links
You’ll not
find any big banners or popups here talking about cookies and privacy
notices. There are no ads on this site (aside from the hosting ads – a
necessary evil). Functionally and fundamentally, I just don’t make money
off of this blog. It is NOT monetized. Finally, I don’t track you
because I just don’t care to.
Ray Harryhausen was a mainstay of my childhood. His movies were regular features on the Saturday matinees — on television, not in theaters; I’m not THAT old! — and they sucked me in every time. How could they not? No sane young boy would be anything but engrossed by giant creatures slugging it out with heroes in sandals, and Harryhausen’s creatures were AWESOME.
-Revisiting Ray Harryhausen’s 1958 classic, The 7th Voyage of Sinbad
It’s no secret that Hollywood has gone over the deep end and into the abyss of the bland and uninteresting.
It’s a combination of things. Firstly [1] , an over reliance on CGI and computer animation has somehow replaced decent story-telling and the passions inherent in the traditional movie genre. Secondly [2], the invasion of Political Correctness and rewrites for the LGBT crowd, and the war on white males, and traditional male roles has pretty much isolated Hollywood to the Land of the Loons. Thirdly [3], an over reliance on classical superheroes… you know, suddenly by magic, a person gets super-powers… get’s dull really quick. Finally, fourthly [4], just how many sequels do you need to make before the customers stop coming to the theaters?
Here’s some examples of contemporaneous Hollywood fare…
Yup Hollywood is going the way of the Dodo Bird, and like their political leadership, haven’t a clue as to how absolutely ridiculous they look to us “normal’s” in the audience.
But, at one time, Hollywood was truly the stuff of dreams. There, the studios produced some amazing movie flicks. These were the stuff of dreams, and tales of adventure. And, for I, a young boy… Hollywood movies took me to places where my imagination could soar and explore.
Let’s talk about one such movie. The Ray Harryhausen classic “The 7th Voyage of Sinbad”.
The Tale of a Lifetime
The visuals in the movie were amazing. Anyone who has seen this movie when it first came out (late 50’s) was forever a different person for the better. This dynamic even continues to this day too.
Millions saw this when they were in their teens or younger and it brought out an array of emotions the body had not experienced before. There is wonder, adventure, thrills, suspense, love, good, bad, and monsters that make you wonder how can you fight them and live? Sinbad shows you all this and more and he became a role model and hero for the multitudes.
No doubt, it is an amazing movie.
Come on! Seriously. Giant birds, crabby cyclops, dragons, skeleton warriors, and a snake woman? Just another day at the office for Sinbad the Sailor.
Throw in an evil sorcerer, a mutinous crew, and having to not only rescue his fiancee, but also find some way to un-shrink her. Talk about having too much on “your plate”. You can well understand why this particular Sinbad set about his seventh voyage with a stern and brave face, very little humor and negligible cheer.
This movie is genius.
Other films of his have very challenging special effects too. If you have not watched any of his films, YouTube them and watch the brilliant sequences. That'll convince you. Try the sequence where the cowboys try to "rope" Gwangi, in which Harryhausen had to painstakingly match the ropes on the live action footage to the ropes on his stop-motion model. Or the tug of war in "Mighty Joe Young," using a similar technique. Or the sequence with the giant bird from "Mysterious Island," which works well with Bernard Herrmann's goofy score. Or the Washington destruction scenes in "Earth vs. Flying Saucers." Or It from "It Came From Beneath the Seas." Or Pegasus in "Clash of the Titans," or Medusa, from the same film. Or anything from "The Seventh Voyage of Sinbad," my personal favorite film of his.
- Great Movies of my Childhood
This was a movie that I couldn’t tear my eyes from. I was totally and complete immersed in the story line, though as a young boy, it was kind of difficult to follow. Never the less, the visuals were amazing and absolutely drew me in.
Now the story is a classic. It’s an adventure, so of course, you pull the story out from classic adventure stories that have stood the passage of time.
Apparently this is a pretty old classic story from the 1001 Arabian Nights, of course no longer taught in schools as not progressive enough. It is the story of adventure when a ships crew makes an unexpected stop at an island.
Fortune fall upon us all
The best thing about this movie is that there Hasn’t been any remakes of it.
It’s true. Can you imagine what the remakes would be like? OMG! I just get sick trying to imagine it all…
1970s – The first sequel; Sinbad falls in love with a black single-parent woman.
1980s – “We Are the World” meets Sinbad the Sailor.
1990s – CGI animation, heavily pixelated and dark.
2000s – Matrix style fight scenes with the three headed chick.
2010s – X-men join forces with Sinbad to fight the Cyclops.
2020s – Sinbad is a woman, as are the entire crew, all females.
Storyline
Sinbad is a man of the world. A seaman who travels the known world. As this is his seventh voyage, we knew that he was well experienced in the ways of monsters, magic and pretty attractive lasses. He has a crew of trusty seamen, and ship that is pretty state-of-the-art for the time-period.
So off he goes. His ship and crew sail off towards adventure…
He sails and sails.
When Sinbad finally spots land, he doesn’t yet know what island it is. (He didn’t have GPS, and Google was of absolutely no use to him.) He just doesn’t know that the island’s name is Colossa. Hum. Colossa could that have something to do with the word “colossal”? You’d think he’d take a hint.
Nor does he know that it’s the ancient world’s equivalent of Monster Island. Now, for some reason or the other, Sinbad has his old lady on board with him. She’s a real cutie, and can you blame him. After all, he’s the famous Sinbad.
Her name is Princess Parisa. She has cute dimples, a nice rack and a very curvaceous backside. You see, she and Sinbad are going to be married and help seal a peace pact between their two lands. It kind of sucks for her, but she gets a hero in the bargain, and all in all, by the standards of society at that time and place, it’s a pretty sweet deal for her.
Grant (who would go on to marry Bing Crosby) is an absolute delight as the princess, the kid playing the genie in the lamp should have been annoying but was actually quite a charming little tyke, and Torin Thatcher is wonderfully bombastic as the evil wizard Sokurah. They help carry the human element of the movie in a way Mathews’ Sinbad never does.
-Revisiting Ray Harryhausen’s 1958 classic, The 7th Voyage of Sinbad
Once he makes landfall on the island, he demonstrates just how preoccupied he must be with the impending wedding. You can tell, because he makes some really boneheaded decisions. You know, decisions that would charitably be called “insane.”
So, let’s say you’re on a mysterious island in a world where terrible monsters still run amok occasionally.
Let’s also say that you notice strange footprints in the sand. These strange footprints are not only odd because of their shape (cloven hooves – eek!), but also because they are so far apart. As someone notes, this is indicative of a rather large stride and by extension, a rather large creature.
Now what could that possibly mean? I mean, what would you do, if you saw hoof prints that large?
Okay, let’s say you know all that and still you venture forth into the unknown.
Now, you have landed on this mysterious island. You and your crew starts to walk upon the sandy beach. And now when you walk further up the beach you notice carved in the side of a mountain, a strange face with the mouth being the entrance of a cave.
Not an everyday occurrence.
What do you do? Well, in spite of it being painfully obvious that this is the front door of a cyclops house, you decide to do some pretty messed up things. I mean, haven’t you ever learned that some things say “keep out” and run for the hills. But NOOOOO!
What does Sinbad do? Well, he decides to run right the hell in there just to see if anyone is home!
What do you think happens? Yup. It’s a lot of screaming, yelling, terror and blood and guts. Not to mention a chomp and gulp. Yes, it’s a story of lots of guys getting chased by a really pissed off cyclops.
Enter a sorcerer named Sokurah.
He’s a bald guy with a magic lamp that saves Sinbad and his crew by using the genie’s powers to erect a transparent barrier to keep the cyclops back. I’ll bet that you didn’t know that Genie’s had the power to erect repulse fields, did you?
Now, I have some bad news.
Unfortunately this doesn’t stop the cyclops from chucking big rocks at the departing boat. This causes everyone on the boat to fall overboard and in all the confusion Sokurah loses his magic lamp.
Now, this magic lamp is really special. Think of it like the latest iphone, or the keys to the Lamborghini. It contains a Genie. But this Genie is not just like any other Genie. Those “lower” Genies have wish-limitations. Most can only grant three wishes. Not this Genie. No. He instead grants unlimited wishes.
Obviously the loss of such a power, such a lamp, is a big disappointment.
Again, there is a lot of treading water, splashes and panic.
Once back on board his main boat, Sokurah demands that they return back to the island. You know, after all, it’s pretty cool having a Genie with unlimited wishes. Heck, if it was me, I’d go back.
No. Sinbad is a different person.
Sinbad refuses Sokurah’s entreaties to go back to the island and retrieve his lamp which by this time has fallen into the hands of the cyclops. Sinbad says “No time, baldy. I’m gonna get married to my most excellent girlfriend. And, you know what? I still have to hire a band and D.J. for my wedding, but you’re welcome to come to my bachelor party once we’re back in Bagdad.”
Sokurah offers to provide some entertainment at some of the pre-wedding festivities in hopes of currying favor with the Caliph.
The Caliph of Baghdad (Alec Mango) feels the same way, even after Sokurah amazes the court by conjuring up a snake-woman. Yes, this SOB ended up turning Parisa’s maid into a snake woman. Talk about violation of a work contract!
Meanwhile, he continues to try to convince Sinbad to go back to the island.
He starts to look into the future. He starts by looking into the future of Sinbad and Parisa’s lands. Not surprisingly perhaps, he sees only bad things for everyone. This (unfortunately) doesn’t earn him a ship and a crew of men, but does earn him an ass kicking out of Bagdad.
It is only when the princess is shrunk by an evil spell, the breaking of which requires the shell from the egg of the giant Roc – which (what-da-ya-know) resides on Colossa – that Sokurah can get his expedition mounted, with Sinbad in command.
But it’s not that everything is perfect. With a crew made up of a handful of his bravest men and some of the most desperate convicts in the Caliph’s prison, he has to contend with potential mutiny at every turn. It’s a constant bickering, fighting and arguments. Ugh! In fact, the men are driven almost to madness before they even reach Colossa.
Once there, at the island, they continue to find problems and strife. Obviously, they find terrors as great as the Cyclops and the treachery of the magician, but something else happens. Future Mrs. Sinbad; Parisa – in her tiny state – also discovers the beautiful world inside the lamp, and the lonely boy Genie (Richard Eyer) who inhabits it.
They strike the bargain that, when Sinbad’s bravery is added to the equation, will bring their quest to an end. If, that is, they can all survive the dangers that Sokurah puts in their path.
At this point for the record, I would note that when he was told this, no one specifically said that he wasn’t supposed to stop by the princess’s bedroom and use a magic potion to shrink her down to the size of a corndog. It’s a strange world we live in, and when you start mixing magical spells, potions and evil sorcerers together, you will find many surprises awaiting you in the bedroom.
Clearly, the only way to fix this is with the help of a very powerful sorcerer.
Sinbad finds Sokurah just as he’s about to leave town and pleads for his help. It turns out to be no problem for Sokurah to reverse the spell. In fact, he knows the counter-spell and only needs to procure one ingredient. It’s the shell of giant Roc’s egg.
Ah, the shell of the egg.
But that’s only available on the island of Colossa and we already know you don’t want to go there, right Sinbad? Well, right?
Still politics are politics, and if you don’t play your cards right, the result could be war! Thus, with the princess’s father immediately threatening war on Bagdad (despite Bagdad obviously having nothing to do with the incredible shrinking Parisa – but that’s an argument for another time), a shift in policy occurs and the next thing you know, a ship is being outfitted. As such, a big crossbow is being built and Sinbad is attempting to recruit a crew.
But where would you get a crew from for what is surely a suicide mission right into the heart of monster country?
Where do most guys for suicide missions come from?
Indeed, you find them at the toughest prison in whatever location the recruiting is being done in! I was thinking that we might be in for a Dirty Dozen-style affair with off-beat characters each with a specialized skill (forger, demolitions expert, scrounger, drunk) that would come in handy for this trek.
However, the intention of them being so vicious and crazy that they turn out to be the best dang fighting machine ever assembled doesn’t happen. Instead, these cons are so vicious and crazy that they mutiny as soon as they set sail. Not only that, but they attempt to take over the ship!
Unsurprisingly, the movie is filled with fantastic creatures and some very impressive visuals. The cyclops is a fearsome beast with great animation (based on the critter from 20 Million Miles to Earth) and fantastic integration into most scenes. This guy ranks right up there with the best of Harryhausen. A climactic skeleton battle is also highly impressive, with stunning choreography providing some damned impressive integration with real actors. It’s a stunningly well-realized scene.
-Revisiting Ray Harryhausen’s 1958 classic, The 7th Voyage of Sinbad
Things don’t go any more smoothly once they hit Cyclops Island. If you can imagine. Treasure, a genie, and guy getting roasted alive are among the highlights.
Conclusion
This is by far the best of the three fantasy adventure movies that Kerwin Matthews (Sinbad) made during this era. If you have the time and the inclination, I would strongly recommend a rewatch of this movie. Preferably on a hazy hot dog-day afternoon in August, or a cold snowy blistery Saturday afternoon in January. I promise that it will reawaken the boyhood in you (if you are a man), the nurturing and strong lady in you (if you are a lass), or complete revulsion (if you are gender-confused).
Links
Here’s some decent links that you all might want to take a look at.
You can watch it for free if you don’t mind waiting a half an hour to half a day to download the torrent.
For those of you who are unaware. Torrents are parts of files that are spread out in tiny packets all over the internet. You use a "Bit Torrent" client to vacuum up all those little bits and pieces of the file. It then assembles the file into a movie that you can watch. The time that this takes can vary from a few minutes to weeks depending on how popular or obscure your searched file is.
You will need an application to manage the download. I recommend the free application VUZE. To download the video is thus easy. Install VUZE, and then click on one of the following torrent links.
Depending on where you live, you might not have the freedom to access these sites and the ISP might block them from access, or the search engines might black out their search results. Americans, in particular, might have some real problems. Therefore, I listed the most accessible torrent sites available to Americans. Pirate Bay and 1337X. I think that Kick Ass Torrents is still blocked for all Americans.
Stories that Inspired Me
Here are reprints in full text of stories that inspired me, but that are nearly impossible to find in China. I place them here as sort of a personal library that I can use for inspiration. The reader is welcome to come and enjoy a read or two as well.
My Poetry
Articles & Links
You’ll not find any big banners or popups here talking about cookies and privacy notices. There are no ads on this site (aside from the hosting ads – a necessary evil). Functionally and fundamentally, I just don’t make money off of this blog. It is NOT monetized. Finally, I don’t track you because I just don’t care to.
This is a little poem that I composed years back. As I recall, I was waiting at an airport for a connecting flight on the way home from a very long and difficult trip. I just started writing and this poem popped out. Enjoy.
My Kitten Knows
My kitten knows.
Quiet She, but can see...
Things inside.
Things I must hide...
From others who dare not know the truth about me.
Feelings inside that stay.
And feelings inside that say...
How I care about you.
And all you do...
For sometime when we can play.
How it will happen I dare not say.
No one knows my secret raw...
How I broke the sacred law...
And fell in love...
With one so pretty.
No one knows...
Except my kitty.
For here I am.
Alone.
In the dark.
Thinking of you and the mark...
... you made on my heart.
Dear. Let's not stay apart...
...too much longer.
And when you see a kitten near...
Please, please remember me dear...
For feelings we so boldly hold...
Are shared with cats that know them cold.
As I recall, I read this poem at a poetry recital in Boston sometime in the late 1990’s. The beatnick wanna-bes and the cute girls in the sheepherder clothing all did seem to dig it. As did the lesbian couples, and the lone chain-smoking bongo-drum player.
I wrote up a ton load of poems. All lost amongst the debris of time. This is the only one that I remember, and the only one that I wish to share at this moment in time. If there is one things that I would like to be remembered for, it would be for my love of wine, my love of friends and companions, and my passion for poetry.
Stories that Inspired Me
Here are reprints in full text of stories that inspired me, but that are nearly impossible to find in China. I place them here as sort of a personal library that I can use for inspiration. The reader is welcome to come and enjoy a read or two as well.
Articles & Links
You’ll not find any big banners or popups here talking about cookies and privacy notices. There are no ads on this site (aside from the hosting ads – a necessary evil). Functionally and fundamentally, I just don’t make money off of this blog. It is NOT monetized. Finally, I don’t track you because I just don’t care to.
Please kindly note that this post has multiple embedded videos. It is important to view them. If they fail to load, all you need to do is to reload your browser.
Peanut-butter Spaghetti ( 花生酱面 )
This is a traditional dish. It is similar to spaghetti, except it uses rice noodles instead of wheat noodles, and the sauce is a mixture of peanut-butter and spices.
There are all kinds of recipes on the internet to add a kind of peanut-butter sauce for cheap Ramen noodles. But, boys and girls, that’s like saying a McDonald’s hamburger is equivalent to a real turkey dinner at Thanksgiving. Nope. Just posted Internet nonsense.
Here’s the baseline ingredients…
As the noodles cook, make the sesame peanut butter sauce. Just add some sesame oil, peanut butter, honey, soy sauce, rice vinegar, minced garlic, and grated ginger to a bowl. Give it a good whisk, until it is well combined. The peanut butter will break down and create a smooth, creamy sauce.
-The Wholesome Dish
This video shows how it is done.
This dish is called “peanut butter sauce – noodles”. And the Chinese characters for it are 花生酱面.
This is something that I am well experienced in. There are many first class, and first rate restaurants in Hong Kong. When dining upstairs you often have an absolutely amazing view of the city at night. In a like way, we can also say that there are amazing clubs, bars, and establishments that people can explore when venturing out in the late night Hong Kong air.
Thailand is known as the “Land of Smiles”. They are a great fun-loving and traditional people. They take care of themselves and are very religious. My experiences in Thailand have always been outstanding and first rate.
Here are some cute girls…
On a Serious Note…
I have been reading the nonsense out of the United States media and it is disturbing to me. You have BLM, Antifa, and Liberal progressive democrat socialists conducting violence, and openly calling for outright war, torture and death. Meanwhile, the Congress-critters accept bribes from the Saudi Oligarchy and demand that we fight Iran, or Russia. Or China. Jeeze!
It saddens me. It really does.
It doesn’t matter if it is a person, or a nation. When someone is openly advocating violence, for whatever reason, there is something seriously wrong. And, if the government allows this to persist, then the government is broken.
That is especially true for the United States.
Now, of course, China is not the United States. There are the “enormous” group of SJW (Social Justice Warriors) in Hong Kong that are demanding “democracy” for Hong Kong. Here’s a picture of ALL OF THEM. Look at the enormous protest!
They demand “democracy” or else! You know, like America has. Rah rah!
These people are misfits. They openly advocate hurting people, burning buildings, and torturing people so that HK can have “democracy”. Identical to the BLM and Antifa crowd.
The American news media breathlessly parrot their demands.
They claim that this view is reflected in all of China and Asia, and that there should be a war that would free and “liberate” the Chinese people from under the dictatorial yoke of the oppressive Chinese government. Whoo woo!
These people do not want a Republican style of government; a representative one. They do not want to implement a fair and just government. They want a progressive mob rule run by a handful of wealthy oligarchs.
They are willing to do violence so that they can join the ranks of the oligarchy.
Not. Going. To. Happen.
People, you all should know this, you don’t make threats, and you don’t force violence. Because sooner or later YOU will get hurt.
As you get older, you have friends and loved ones who die. Sometimes of old age.
I rode in the car with my father. We talked about the local butcher, and the changes to the local park. We talked about the passing of his dog; Zeeny. We talked about the movie that he watched last night.
The next day, I got a phone call that he was dead.
People die. Sometimes by accident, and sometimes by violence. We all need to see that our place on this planet is to obtain good positive experiences with others.
One day you are having coffee and a donut with them. The next day, you get a phone call that they are dead.
One day you are in the office chatting away at their desk. You are just talking about life and things. The next day, the security guard is emptying out the desk as they had died last night.
One day you are chatting on the phone with them. The next day you find out that they died suddenly.
It’s called life and it hurts.
Turn off that propaganda box known as American mainstream news. Toss it away. Spend time with friends, family and loved ones. You might only get one chance. Today might just be it.
A coworker had spent the day at work talking about all the money that she inhered from her uncle when he died. We talked about her plans over coffee near the break room.
The next day she was dead of a drug overdose.
If you find yourself getting too caught up with some injustice that you read about on the news, then turn off your computer. The news is DESIGNED to evoke emotional reactions from you. It is all nonsense. TURN THAT FUCKER OFF.
Please listen to me. Please believe me. You do not want to confront this…
We are all people. We have a life. We have friends. We have a small community that we are all part of. It is important, and we all have a role within it.
I turned around. My little white kitten lay dead on the road. It looked like it was sleeping. But it was gone. Dead. Run over by the car that sped through the neighborhood.
Life is short. Make yours a good one.
That’s it for now. I do hope that you enjoyed this visit to Asia via the Internet. I hope that you had some fun, maybe learned a thing or two, or had some inspiration. Enjoy. Sure beats the CNN or The UK Guardian narrative, eh?
If you want to go to the start of this series of posts, then please click HERE.
Links about China
Here are
some links about my observations on China. I think that you, the reader,
might find them to be of interest. Please kindly enjoy.
China and America Comparisons
As an
American, I cannot help but compare what my life was in the United
States with what it is like living in China. Here we discuss that.
The Chinese Business KTV Experience
This is
the real deal. Forget about all that nonsense that you find in the
British tabloids and an occasional write up in the American liberal
press. This is the reality. Read or not.
Learning About China
Who
doesn’t like to look at pretty girls? Ugly girls? Here we discuss what
China is like by looking at videos of pretty girls doing things in
China.
Contemporaneous Chinese Music
This is a
series of posts that discuss contemporaneous popular music in China. It
is a wide ranging and broad spectrum of travel, and at that, all that I
am able to provide is the flimsiest of overviews. However, this series
of posts should serve as a great starting place for investigation and
enjoyment.
Parks in China
The parks
in China are very unique. They are enormous and tend to be very
mountainous. Here we take a look at this most interesting of subjects.
Really Strange China
Here are
some posts that discuss a number of things about China that might seem
odd, or strange to Westerners. Some of the things are everyday events,
while others are just representative of the differences in culture.
What is China like?
The
purpose of this post is to illustrate that the rest of the world,
outside of America, has moved on with their lives. That while they
might not be as great as America is, they are doing just fine thank
you.
And while
America has been squandering it’s money, decimating it’s resources,
and just being cavalier with it’s military, the rest of the world has
done the opposite. They have husbanded their day to day fortunes, and
you can see this in their day-to-day lives.
Articles & Links
You’ll not
find any big banners or popups here talking about cookies and privacy
notices. There are no ads on this site (aside from the hosting ads – a
necessary evil). Functionally and fundamentally, I just don’t make money
off of this blog. It is NOT monetized. Finally, I don’t track you
because I just don’t care to.
You can start reading the articles sequentially by going HERE.
You can visit the Index Page HERE to explore by article subject.
You can also ask the author some questions. You can go HERE to find out how to go about this.
We continue with our exploration of Asia though videos.
Please kindly note that this post has multiple embedded videos. It is important to view them. If they fail to load, all you need to do is to reload your browser.
Nice Lunch in the Mountains.
If you live in any of the mountainous regions inside China, this is pretty much what lunchtime might look like. You would sit at a table on the side of a cliff face, and look down on the clouds that surround you.
You have to keep in mind that MOST of China is mountainous. All you need do is look at a relief map of China.
If you lived in and around these mountains, your lunch might look a little something like this…
The Inside of a KTV
Yeah. This is all pretty much what it looks like. This is the hallway in some generic KTV somewhere in China.
Of course, I have a large series of posts about KTV’s and in particular Business KTV’s that you might want to take a stroll looking into after this post is finished. In any event, all KTV’s are pretty awesome and are decorated “to the hilt”. They all look a little like this…
The Interior of a Subway Car
Subway travel is very common in Asia, and currently you can travel to all of the first, second and third tier cities in China using it. Here is the view inside of one of the cars. Here, as is quite common, the rail leaves the tunnels and travels above ground like a monorail would.
Chinese Stewardess Training
All Chinese flight attendants, stewards and stewardesses, are also trained to fight (you do know that Muslim extremist behaviors is not taken lightly by China), and provide medical service when necessary.
One of the things that they are also trained to do is to fly a plane. In the event that the cabin crew becomes incapacitated, the stewardess can fill in and fly the plane if need be.
Let’s continue forward, shall we…
If you want to go to the start of this series of posts, then please click HERE.
Links about China
Here are
some links about my observations on China. I think that you, the reader,
might find them to be of interest. Please kindly enjoy.
China and America Comparisons
As an
American, I cannot help but compare what my life was in the United
States with what it is like living in China. Here we discuss that.
The Chinese Business KTV Experience
This is
the real deal. Forget about all that nonsense that you find in the
British tabloids and an occasional write up in the American liberal
press. This is the reality. Read or not.
Learning About China
Who
doesn’t like to look at pretty girls? Ugly girls? Here we discuss what
China is like by looking at videos of pretty girls doing things in
China.
Contemporaneous Chinese Music
This is a
series of posts that discuss contemporaneous popular music in China. It
is a wide ranging and broad spectrum of travel, and at that, all that I
am able to provide is the flimsiest of overviews. However, this series
of posts should serve as a great starting place for investigation and
enjoyment.
Parks in China
The parks
in China are very unique. They are enormous and tend to be very
mountainous. Here we take a look at this most interesting of subjects.
Really Strange China
Here are
some posts that discuss a number of things about China that might seem
odd, or strange to Westerners. Some of the things are everyday events,
while others are just representative of the differences in culture.
What is China like?
The
purpose of this post is to illustrate that the rest of the world,
outside of America, has moved on with their lives. That while they
might not be as great as America is, they are doing just fine thank
you.
And while
America has been squandering it’s money, decimating it’s resources,
and just being cavalier with it’s military, the rest of the world has
done the opposite. They have husbanded their day to day fortunes, and
you can see this in their day-to-day lives.
Articles & Links
You’ll not
find any big banners or popups here talking about cookies and privacy
notices. There are no ads on this site (aside from the hosting ads – a
necessary evil). Functionally and fundamentally, I just don’t make money
off of this blog. It is NOT monetized. Finally, I don’t track you
because I just don’t care to.
You can start reading the articles sequentially by going HERE.
You can visit the Index Page HERE to explore by article subject.
You can also ask the author some questions. You can go HERE to find out how to go about this.
Please kindly note that this post has multiple embedded videos. It is important to view them. If they fail to load, all you need to do is to reload your browser.
Cute Girls on a Motorcycle in Thailand
This is what it’s like. It’s not some dingy polluted evil place with mean black clothed SWAT armed police watching your every move. Nope. It’s not America. Seriously, different places are different. As such, you simply cannot compare contemporaneous America with the rest of the world.
It’s rural Thailand, and yes, this is the what it looks like.
It’s sort of like Alabama.
Speaking of cute Thai girls. Check this out…
Hong Kong at Night
Yup, this is pretty much what it is like.
Automobile Show in Shanghai
I always like to look at the new cars, and the pretty girls at the Chinese car shows. They are really pushing towards being a dominant global player in the latest in automotive technology. This year we have many of the Chinese models with face recognition instead of key fobs, and 5G access as standard.
I also like all the pretty Chinese and Russian girls.
Have you gone to a politically-correct American car show lately?
Where the heck do they pull those tubbies from?
Talk about big and a lot of lovin’! (Not complaining, mind you. I just have different tastes.) I guess it must be the Michelle Obama influence. You know she was voted the most beautiful woman in the world numerous times… eh? Yeah. No shit. She is considered the most beautiful woman in the world.
I attribute this attitude to two factors. Drugs, and mental illness.
Now, let’s see what real women look like, and what is going on in the Automotive Arena in China, shall we…
Now that I have offended just about everyone, let’s move on…
If you want to go to the start of this series of posts, then please click HERE.
Links about China
Here are
some links about my observations on China. I think that you, the reader,
might find them to be of interest. Please kindly enjoy.
China and America Comparisons
As an
American, I cannot help but compare what my life was in the United
States with what it is like living in China. Here we discuss that.
The Chinese Business KTV Experience
This is
the real deal. Forget about all that nonsense that you find in the
British tabloids and an occasional write up in the American liberal
press. This is the reality. Read or not.
Learning About China
Who
doesn’t like to look at pretty girls? Ugly girls? Here we discuss what
China is like by looking at videos of pretty girls doing things in
China.
Contemporaneous Chinese Music
This is a
series of posts that discuss contemporaneous popular music in China. It
is a wide ranging and broad spectrum of travel, and at that, all that I
am able to provide is the flimsiest of overviews. However, this series
of posts should serve as a great starting place for investigation and
enjoyment.
Parks in China
The parks
in China are very unique. They are enormous and tend to be very
mountainous. Here we take a look at this most interesting of subjects.
Really Strange China
Here are
some posts that discuss a number of things about China that might seem
odd, or strange to Westerners. Some of the things are everyday events,
while others are just representative of the differences in culture.
What is China like?
The
purpose of this post is to illustrate that the rest of the world,
outside of America, has moved on with their lives. That while they
might not be as great as America is, they are doing just fine thank
you.
And while
America has been squandering it’s money, decimating it’s resources,
and just being cavalier with it’s military, the rest of the world has
done the opposite. They have husbanded their day to day fortunes, and
you can see this in their day-to-day lives.
Articles & Links
You’ll not
find any big banners or popups here talking about cookies and privacy
notices. There are no ads on this site (aside from the hosting ads – a
necessary evil). Functionally and fundamentally, I just don’t make money
off of this blog. It is NOT monetized. Finally, I don’t track you
because I just don’t care to.
You can start reading the articles sequentially by going HERE.
You can visit the Index Page HERE to explore by article subject.
You can also ask the author some questions. You can go HERE to find out how to go about this.
Let’s continue on our adventure into Asia by looking at various micro-videos that were taken this summer. As always, the presence of micro-videos might cause difficulty in loading due to bandwidth limitations and high usage demands. In that event, you can reload this page to avoid any problems.
Please kindly note that this post has multiple embedded videos. It is important to view them. If they fail to load, all you need to do is to reload your browser.
Rural Thailand
People, this is what a small town in rural Thailand looks like. Not too different from what a small down in America looks like. Not really.
I like to believe that people are people, no matter where you live. The only differences that we have are imaginary. They are self created walls that tend to separate and divide each other. I oppose that, and instead look for ground of commonality.
That includes, family, food, pets, and sports. Other similar attributes can include fashion, movies, music, and parties. And, let’s not forget those wonderful vices that everyone around the world enjoys.
What do you see in this picture? Billboards, houses, trucks, pretty girls wearing skirts, blue skies, and white clouds. People, that is what our life on this Earth is all about.
Two Girls in Japan
Ah, aren’t they so cute?
I like to believe that what makes humans great are our difference. Not our similarities. We all like to sing, dance and eat tasty delicious food. It is how we enjoy those moments, and how we interact with each other that renders the moment towards magnificence.
Here are two cute girls in Japan playing with their cute girly outfits. I love the colors, the patterns, the styles and of course, the smiles on the faces of the girls.
Being Disabled in China
Being disabled is difficult. It doesn’t matter where you live, you need to deal with all sorts of problems that “normal” people do not need to contend with.
Here we see a disabled person in China using the Shenzhen subway system.
A Chinese Video Game
Just like the USA, there are all sorts of games and APPs that you can play. They run the complete gambit all across the board. Here is one such Chinese game APP for the cell phone. As you can well see that it is a little different from the kinds of games that you might enjoy in the United States.
And let’s continue onward to other videos…
If you want to go to the start of this series of posts, then please click HERE.
Links about China
Here are
some links about my observations on China. I think that you, the reader,
might find them to be of interest. Please kindly enjoy.
China and America Comparisons
As an
American, I cannot help but compare what my life was in the United
States with what it is like living in China. Here we discuss that.
The Chinese Business KTV Experience
This is
the real deal. Forget about all that nonsense that you find in the
British tabloids and an occasional write up in the American liberal
press. This is the reality. Read or not.
Learning About China
Who
doesn’t like to look at pretty girls? Ugly girls? Here we discuss what
China is like by looking at videos of pretty girls doing things in
China.
Contemporaneous Chinese Music
This is a
series of posts that discuss contemporaneous popular music in China. It
is a wide ranging and broad spectrum of travel, and at that, all that I
am able to provide is the flimsiest of overviews. However, this series
of posts should serve as a great starting place for investigation and
enjoyment.
Parks in China
The parks
in China are very unique. They are enormous and tend to be very
mountainous. Here we take a look at this most interesting of subjects.
Really Strange China
Here are
some posts that discuss a number of things about China that might seem
odd, or strange to Westerners. Some of the things are everyday events,
while others are just representative of the differences in culture.
What is China like?
The
purpose of this post is to illustrate that the rest of the world,
outside of America, has moved on with their lives. That while they
might not be as great as America is, they are doing just fine thank
you.
And while
America has been squandering it’s money, decimating it’s resources,
and just being cavalier with it’s military, the rest of the world has
done the opposite. They have husbanded their day to day fortunes, and
you can see this in their day-to-day lives.
Articles & Links
You’ll not
find any big banners or popups here talking about cookies and privacy
notices. There are no ads on this site (aside from the hosting ads – a
necessary evil). Functionally and fundamentally, I just don’t make money
off of this blog. It is NOT monetized. Finally, I don’t track you
because I just don’t care to.
You can start reading the articles sequentially by going HERE.
You can visit the Index Page HERE to explore by article subject.
You can also ask the author some questions. You can go HERE to find out how to go about this.
The American reality-television show titled “Myth Busters” so-called “proved” that jet-packs could never work. They had an entire show debunking the claims that jet-pack plans that you can find on the Internet were just a hoax and that if you built those plans, your contraption would never fly.
They concluded that only government approved mechanisms could fly and anyone who was going to try and build their own rocket-pack was a stupid dupe. That instead you should listen to the American government and not have someone steal your money.
So… Americans listened to them.
The sales of on-line jet-pack plans plummeted and so were the incidents of failure, problems and injury. Meanwhile, in the rest of the world, those not under the American propaganda machine did their own thing without fear. So now you have jet packs being flown all over the world… except in America.
Here’s a jet-pack flying over Singapore…
Too bad that the American government will not support innovation, and good-old “elbow grease”. Instead, Americans have been bombarded with a “it cannot be done” narrative.
Fishing.
I do love to fish. Did you know that in China you don’t need to get a fishing permit, or ask permission to fish? Yup. Heck, you can even fish at night. Can you believe that?
It takes a little bit of getting used to. I well remember trying to ask some Chinese friends where I needed to go to get a fishing permit. They had no friggin’ idea what I was trying to ask. They kept on trying to figure it all out. They could not understand why or what the purpose was to ask about being able to fish.
It was crazy. Finally after conferring among themselves they figured out what I was asking. They told me that the government did not treat fishing like driving a car. They explained that the odds of me hurting myself fishing, or hurting another person was not considered (by the Chinese government) to be serious enough to warrant a policing agency and laws.
People that is what freedom is.
Here is a video showing people fishing.
Boss
Bosses are treated quite differently in China, and in Asia than they are treated in the United States. In America a boss is just some one who makes just a little bit more more money than you, and who has just a little bit more respect.
In China, however, the rate of difference is not linear. It is exponential. Here we see a Chinese boss entering a banquet for her company.
A Glimpse at Modern Contemporaneous Chinese Culture
Here is a video of a girl wearing traditional Han clothing. This is very typical. Traditions are celebrated in China. Not disparaged as “racist” and “homophobic” as they are in America and out West in the UK.
I would like to point out some things, that the average viewer might miss…
Sword
Hard Alcohol drinking
Beautiful
Long, flowing comfortable clothing
Beautiful girl
All of these are contemporary elements of modern Chinese culture. Including swords. In fact, there are classes on how to fight with swords, and they are often used during morning exercises.
Cool videos, eh? Yeah. I think so. There’s more here…
If you want to go to the start of this series of posts, then please click HERE.
Links about China
Here are
some links about my observations on China. I think that you, the reader,
might find them to be of interest. Please kindly enjoy.
China and America Comparisons
As an
American, I cannot help but compare what my life was in the United
States with what it is like living in China. Here we discuss that.
The Chinese Business KTV Experience
This is
the real deal. Forget about all that nonsense that you find in the
British tabloids and an occasional write up in the American liberal
press. This is the reality. Read or not.
Learning About China
Who
doesn’t like to look at pretty girls? Ugly girls? Here we discuss what
China is like by looking at videos of pretty girls doing things in
China.
Contemporaneous Chinese Music
This is a
series of posts that discuss contemporaneous popular music in China. It
is a wide ranging and broad spectrum of travel, and at that, all that I
am able to provide is the flimsiest of overviews. However, this series
of posts should serve as a great starting place for investigation and
enjoyment.
Parks in China
The parks
in China are very unique. They are enormous and tend to be very
mountainous. Here we take a look at this most interesting of subjects.
Really Strange China
Here are
some posts that discuss a number of things about China that might seem
odd, or strange to Westerners. Some of the things are everyday events,
while others are just representative of the differences in culture.
What is China like?
The
purpose of this post is to illustrate that the rest of the world,
outside of America, has moved on with their lives. That while they
might not be as great as America is, they are doing just fine thank
you.
And while
America has been squandering it’s money, decimating it’s resources,
and just being cavalier with it’s military, the rest of the world has
done the opposite. They have husbanded their day to day fortunes, and
you can see this in their day-to-day lives.
Articles & Links
You’ll not
find any big banners or popups here talking about cookies and privacy
notices. There are no ads on this site (aside from the hosting ads – a
necessary evil). Functionally and fundamentally, I just don’t make money
off of this blog. It is NOT monetized. Finally, I don’t track you
because I just don’t care to.
You can start reading the articles sequentially by going HERE.
You can visit the Index Page HERE to explore by article subject.
You can also ask the author some questions. You can go HERE to find out how to go about this.
Please kindly note that this post has multiple embedded videos. It is important to view them. If they fail to load, all you need to do is to reload your browser.
Local Talent Singing
In China they have their own versions of “America’s got Talent”, and here you can see all kinds of local hopefuls singing their hearts out to a gleeful public.
And, there are many, many such singing programs in China.
The Voice of China - Wikipedia
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Voice_of_China
The Voice of China (Chinese: 中国好声音; pinyin: Zhōngguó Hǎo Shēngyīn) is a Chinese reality television singing competition broadcast on Zhejiang Television. Based on the original The Voice of Holland, the concept of the series is to find new singing talent (solo or duets) contested by aspiring singers drawn from public auditions. The winner is determined by votes cast by a media judging panel and live audience.
I really like these kinds of programs. Here, hopefuls sign their hearts out to a very appreciative audience. It’s really quite awesome.
Of course, in America anything that will take the eyes and ears of Americans outside of the American mainstream media is considered to be a threat. That will not do, and so the media warns Americans. You know, “for our protection” against such things.
So while you might have enjoyed those two micro-video snippets, here’s what the American mainstream media has to say about all this. They DO NOT want you (the reader) to listen to any Chinese opinions, music, new, movies or thoughts. It might distract you away for the American media narrative. Check out this…
Even older folk…
Yuppur even older Chinese folk get to have their day in the limelight.
Tragedy and Rescue
Life has both good and bad moments. Sometimes things can be really terrible, and we need help. That is why there are police around. That is why there are firemen. That is why there are doctors and nurses. Their role is not to make sure that we observe approved behavior “American style”, but rather to let us live life, and then offer a helping hand when things go wrong.
And, people… things can go terribly wrong…
If you want to go to the start of this series of posts, then please click HERE.
Links about China
Here are
some links about my observations on China. I think that you, the reader,
might find them to be of interest. Please kindly enjoy.
China and America Comparisons
As an
American, I cannot help but compare what my life was in the United
States with what it is like living in China. Here we discuss that.
The Chinese Business KTV Experience
This is
the real deal. Forget about all that nonsense that you find in the
British tabloids and an occasional write up in the American liberal
press. This is the reality. Read or not.
Learning About China
Who
doesn’t like to look at pretty girls? Ugly girls? Here we discuss what
China is like by looking at videos of pretty girls doing things in
China.
Contemporaneous Chinese Music
This is a
series of posts that discuss contemporaneous popular music in China. It
is a wide ranging and broad spectrum of travel, and at that, all that I
am able to provide is the flimsiest of overviews. However, this series
of posts should serve as a great starting place for investigation and
enjoyment.
Parks in China
The parks
in China are very unique. They are enormous and tend to be very
mountainous. Here we take a look at this most interesting of subjects.
Really Strange China
Here are
some posts that discuss a number of things about China that might seem
odd, or strange to Westerners. Some of the things are everyday events,
while others are just representative of the differences in culture.
What is China like?
The
purpose of this post is to illustrate that the rest of the world,
outside of America, has moved on with their lives. That while they
might not be as great as America is, they are doing just fine thank
you.
And while
America has been squandering it’s money, decimating it’s resources,
and just being cavalier with it’s military, the rest of the world has
done the opposite. They have husbanded their day to day fortunes, and
you can see this in their day-to-day lives.
Articles & Links
You’ll not
find any big banners or popups here talking about cookies and privacy
notices. There are no ads on this site (aside from the hosting ads – a
necessary evil). Functionally and fundamentally, I just don’t make money
off of this blog. It is NOT monetized. Finally, I don’t track you
because I just don’t care to.
You can start reading the articles sequentially by going HERE.
You can visit the Index Page HERE to explore by article subject.
You can also ask the author some questions. You can go HERE to find out how to go about this.
Please kindly note that this post has multiple embedded videos. It is important to view them. If they fail to load, all you need to do is to reload your browser.
Small Town China.
Everyone knows about Beijing, Shanghai, Hong Kong and Shenzhen. But what about the smaller towns and cities? There are hundreds, if not thousands, of them. Here’s a typical fly through.
War Movies – China.
China is a nation with an enormous and complex history. If you think that the history of Europe, and all the wars and conflicts there were complex, you haven’t seen anything. The history of China if far older, with a far greater number of conflicts, battles and strife.
Not to mention, completely and positively, horrific.
Most people perceive China as a monolith that existed peacefully since its inception until today. That is far from being true. Back when Europe was enjoying relative stability under Roman rule, the Celestial Empire confronted one of the most prolonged crisis.
Between 184 and 280 AD China was divided in three empires – Wei, Shu, and Wu. The three emerged after the breakdown of the Han dynasty and would be again reunited by the Jin monarchs.
All historians base their life loss estimates on two national censuses that give a difference of 38 million. Whether the calculations were accurate will remain a mystery. Nevertheless, one thing is clear. China has a formidable capacity of regenerating its population.
It seems that the Chinese were so happy once the century-long conflict ended that they celebrated mostly in their beds.
-Unknown but not hidden
As such, popular shows, television series, and movies all discuss the history of China from various perspectives. For comparison, in the United States, we have war-themed movies as well. They generally consist of…
World War II
The Vietnam conflict
Cowboys and Indians
Certainly there are a rare handful of outliers, however, most of the movies fit within the top three main groups.
Well, while the USA might have three main groups, the Chinese have around 200-300 sub-groups. All of which may, or may not, involve magic, powers, and God-like beings. To understand China is to understand that they are historically, a culture that has been immersed in war for 5000 years. They are TIRED of it, and want no part of the glories of war.
The Taiping Civil War, the conflict lasted between 1850 and 1864 and produced the most dramatic death toll in history at that time. The rebellion started with the millenarian movement of the Heavenly Kingdom of Peace, which tried to overthrow the Qing dynasty.
As you seen saw far on the list, every significant political change in the history of China came with savagery. The Taiping Rebellion counts as the bloodiest civil war in history and makes the American equivalent look like a banquet.
-Unknown but not hidden
Here’s a video taken from a popular Chinese television show.
Between 1618 and 1683, China completed a full transition from its southern Ming emperors to the new ruling elite coming all they from northern Manchuria. You could say that in this fragment of history the Starks were victorious.
As you suspect, the Ming did not leave without a fight. The Manchu (Qing) retaliation was unprecedented. More than 25,000,000 lost their lives in a conflict that spread across the entire land.
Whole provinces like Sichuan and Jiangnan were completely depopulated, and chronicles mention massacres like the one of Yangzhou where 800,000 innocent souls perished. The expression “women and children first” had a terrifyingly different meaning for the Qing generals.
At this point, we need to stress the fact that Qing Manchurians were foreigners who managed to conquer China mostly through betrayal and manipulation. Their savagery will be avenged similarly just three centuries later.
-Unknown but not hidden
In comparison, while the United States has been in a near state of fighting wars for much of the years since 1776, most of the population has been sheltered from war. They never had to flee their homes, suffer through periods of starvation, or experienced being rounded up by armed forces and killed in large groups.
The only two exceptions were the Revolutionary War, and the American Civil War.
Now, since many Americans haven’t experienced the horrific violence that war can bring, they are easily manipulated by an evil self-serving oligarchy to rant and rave about wars in far-off lands. Like Iran. Like Yemen. Like Libya. Like Syria. Like the Ukraine. Like China.
Sigh.
At first glance, the An Lushan Rebellion seems to deserve just a footnote.
That’s the error most historians make when they fail to check the numbers. More than 21 million perished as a result of an attempted coup that was close to overthrowing one of the most influential dynasties of the time.
Take a good look at the man who can be held responsible for the mess. General An Lushan detonated order and peace once he proclaimed himself emperor of Northern China in 755 AD. Seven years of turmoil followed, during which China lost one-third of its population.
-Unknown but not hidden
Rural Holidays…
In China, the government has specifically designated the use of certain communities for travel, tourism and recreation. In these areas, large amounts of funding pours into the community to render that area especially attractive to visit.
Part of the reason is to generate tourist revenue to non-industrial areas, but also another part of the reason is based on the Chinese concept of tradition. They believe that it is duty as conservative traditional Chinese to take care of their environment, their habitat and their environment.
This belief is top down straight from Beijing, and is still meeting strong resistance from (now very old) progressives. These people were very active SJW in the day and followed Mr. Mao with a fine revolutionary fever. Luckily they are dying out, though the “Dancing Grandmothers” are still a royal pain in the ass.
Progressives, of every age, think only of one thing; ME! All they care about is themselves.
Thank God that Beijing follows a traditional Chinese conservative model.
Bike Paths
China believes that the purpose of government is to serve the people. It’s not a slogan like it is used in the United States. They actually believe it.
In fact, they have enforcement police that constantly reviews budgets and the behaviors of government officials to prevent crime and corruption. And you do not want to get into trouble with the “enforcement arm” of the “corruption police”. That little bribe, or way-sided amount of money, could cost you your eyes, your liver, a kidney or even worse. Not to mention hard time in the Chinese mines cracking rocks for a spell.
Now, one of the things that the local Chinese government does is to increase the livability index of the various cities and regions that they control. This is most commonly handled by planting flowers, creating parks, planting trees, adding ponds, and walking paths. As well as providing bike paths.
Here is a typical two-lane bike path in a smaller third-tier city.
You will see things like this throughout Europe, and maybe one or two places in the USA. In China is mandated to be everywhere. Everywhere.
Let’s continue on…
If you want to go to the start of this series of posts, then please click HERE.
Links about China
Here are
some links about my observations on China. I think that you, the reader,
might find them to be of interest. Please kindly enjoy.
China and America Comparisons
As an
American, I cannot help but compare what my life was in the United
States with what it is like living in China. Here we discuss that.
The Chinese Business KTV Experience
This is
the real deal. Forget about all that nonsense that you find in the
British tabloids and an occasional write up in the American liberal
press. This is the reality. Read or not.
Learning About China
Who
doesn’t like to look at pretty girls? Ugly girls? Here we discuss what
China is like by looking at videos of pretty girls doing things in
China.
Contemporaneous Chinese Music
This is a
series of posts that discuss contemporaneous popular music in China. It
is a wide ranging and broad spectrum of travel, and at that, all that I
am able to provide is the flimsiest of overviews. However, this series
of posts should serve as a great starting place for investigation and
enjoyment.
Parks in China
The parks
in China are very unique. They are enormous and tend to be very
mountainous. Here we take a look at this most interesting of subjects.
Really Strange China
Here are
some posts that discuss a number of things about China that might seem
odd, or strange to Westerners. Some of the things are everyday events,
while others are just representative of the differences in culture.
What is China like?
The
purpose of this post is to illustrate that the rest of the world,
outside of America, has moved on with their lives. That while they
might not be as great as America is, they are doing just fine thank
you.
And while
America has been squandering it’s money, decimating it’s resources,
and just being cavalier with it’s military, the rest of the world has
done the opposite. They have husbanded their day to day fortunes, and
you can see this in their day-to-day lives.
Articles & Links
You’ll not
find any big banners or popups here talking about cookies and privacy
notices. There are no ads on this site (aside from the hosting ads – a
necessary evil). Functionally and fundamentally, I just don’t make money
off of this blog. It is NOT monetized. Finally, I don’t track you
because I just don’t care to.
You can start reading the articles sequentially by going HERE.
You can visit the Index Page HERE to explore by article subject.
You can also ask the author some questions. You can go HERE to find out how to go about this.
Here we continue with a selection of micro-videos that amply illustrate what is going on in Asia this summer. There is quite a bit going on, let me tell you all. And it is all so very different from what you would find in the West that it becomes noteworthy, though rather difficult to classify individually. Here, the videos depict China, Vietnam, Thailand, and Japan.
Please kindly note that this post has multiple embedded videos. It is important to view them. If they fail to load, all you need to do is to reload your browser.
Roller Skating
Roller skating is a thing in China. It really is, and it is a great way for a young couple to go on a date followed by a nice dinner, and a walk afterwards in the cool night air.
America used to have very many roller skating rinks. All during the 1920’s up through into the 1980’s young couples, and friends would go out to go roller skating. Sometime around the early 1990’s America adopted a more progressive society. It was one which people stopped spending time with each other, and instead became connected electronically. As a result, roller skating rinks fell in disrepair and disuse.
Which is just sad.
In China, the roller rinks are more like bars, or disco clubs. they feature loud music, flashing lights, and various amusements like barriers, cone paths, and other things for a person to navigate around.
Also four-wheel (LED) lighted skates are very popular. In fact, I would say that the market share for this “Roller Derby” style shoe is about equal to that of a roller blade shoe.
The very odd thing about China, and I don’t really understand it, is that many Chinese like to skate backwards. They don’t like to skate forwards like us Americans do. Strange. Yes. But, cute, too.
And here’s another view. Note that many of the skating rinks have bars, and in this next video we can well see the girls hopping on the skating floor that is part of a trampoline arrangement. Pretty cool huh?
Bubble Tea.
Bubble tea is a tea-based drink that has gained a lot of popularity in recent times and has quickly spread past its native boundaries of Taiwan. Initially popular with Taiwanese schoolchildren, it is now becoming a favorite among adults for its sweet taste, unique ingredients, and for its huge range of flavors.
What is Bubble Tea?
Bubble tea, also known as pearl milk tea, boba juice, boba tea, and bubble milk tea, is a Taiwanese tea-based drink. It is also called as tapioca tea, as tapioca balls are the main ingredient in this tea.
Bubble tea consists of a tea base (white, green or black) that is mixed or shaken with milk or other fruits, and fruit jelly or tapioca balls are added, which sink to the bottom. Ice is often blended into the mixture, which results in a slushy or smoothie consistency. There are different fruits and flavors that can be used in bubble tea and the most popular varieties are bubble milk tea and bubble milk green tea.
Combined with the variety of teas, the amount of milk, and the choice of fruit jelly or tapioca pearls, there are thousands of combinations of bubble tea. Each of these has different nutrient compositions, which offer excellent health benefits.
-Organic Facts
Bubble tea is a staple all over Asia. I had my first bubble tea back in Shreveport Louisiana back in the early 1990’s. Then in completely disappeared. I don’t know what happened. MWI shifts? Cultural variances? Changes in tastes and attitudes? Who really knows?
Anyways, bubble teas can be bought anywhere in Asia. It’s a sweetened milk tea with chewy tapioca pearls. It’s pretty good. For me, though, as common as it is, I just prefer to drink Southern style mint orange-slice Iced Tea.
And people, this is what it is like. The gals and guys dress like this (as these hoodies are their office uniforms) and this is the full “real deal” treatment.
The Vast Chinese Deserts…
China is an enormous nation. It has everything from long coastlines, to huge mountain ranges, and yes… it has enormous deserts as well.
There are two main large deserts within China. This includes the famous Gobi, as well as the relatively unknown Taklamakan regions. There are also other much smaller deserts as well.
Check it out…
Boy Meets Girl.
I happen to like this micro video. Thus I place it here. People, these kinds of videos, made by local Chinese folk, aptly describe the culture, the styles, the attitudes and the way of life of the modern Chinese man and women.
If you want to go to the start of this series of posts, then please click HERE.
Links about China
Here are
some links about my observations on China. I think that you, the reader,
might find them to be of interest. Please kindly enjoy.
China and America Comparisons
As an
American, I cannot help but compare what my life was in the United
States with what it is like living in China. Here we discuss that.
The Chinese Business KTV Experience
This is
the real deal. Forget about all that nonsense that you find in the
British tabloids and an occasional write up in the American liberal
press. This is the reality. Read or not.
Learning About China
Who
doesn’t like to look at pretty girls? Ugly girls? Here we discuss what
China is like by looking at videos of pretty girls doing things in
China.
Contemporaneous Chinese Music
This is a
series of posts that discuss contemporaneous popular music in China. It
is a wide ranging and broad spectrum of travel, and at that, all that I
am able to provide is the flimsiest of overviews. However, this series
of posts should serve as a great starting place for investigation and
enjoyment.
Parks in China
The parks
in China are very unique. They are enormous and tend to be very
mountainous. Here we take a look at this most interesting of subjects.
Really Strange China
Here are
some posts that discuss a number of things about China that might seem
odd, or strange to Westerners. Some of the things are everyday events,
while others are just representative of the differences in culture.
What is China like?
The
purpose of this post is to illustrate that the rest of the world,
outside of America, has moved on with their lives. That while they
might not be as great as America is, they are doing just fine thank
you.
And while
America has been squandering it’s money, decimating it’s resources,
and just being cavalier with it’s military, the rest of the world has
done the opposite. They have husbanded their day to day fortunes, and
you can see this in their day-to-day lives.
Articles & Links
You’ll not
find any big banners or popups here talking about cookies and privacy
notices. There are no ads on this site (aside from the hosting ads – a
necessary evil). Functionally and fundamentally, I just don’t make money
off of this blog. It is NOT monetized. Finally, I don’t track you
because I just don’t care to.
You can start reading the articles sequentially by going HERE.
You can visit the Index Page HERE to explore by article subject.
You can also ask the author some questions. You can go HERE to find out how to go about this.
Here are a selection of micro-videos that amply illustrate what is going on in Asia this summer. With that being said, let it be well understood that there is quite a bit going on, let me tell you all. And it is all so very different from what you would find in the West that it becomes noteworthy, though rather difficult to classify individually. Here, the videos depict China, Vietnam, Thailand, and Japan.
I hope that you all will enjoy these micro-videos and visions of Asia as much as I do.
Please kindly note that this post has multiple embedded videos. It is important to view them. If they fail to load, all you need to do is to reload your browser.
Local Popular Music
All through Asia there are small groups of musicians that are making their scene. They are notable in very many ways. One of the things that I like about them, are their own individual uniqueness. You won’t find clones of Nicki Minaj here. Thank goodness.
Of course, I have other earlier posts that delineate the many, many musical venues and styles that are present in China. What I happen to like is the way that traditional music is fuzed with popular Western musical styles. Merged, they result in a very interesting sound.
Such as this example.
Here’s the full song. Listen on to it.
Tom & Jerry
Who would figure? Everyone in China, from two year olds to great-grandmothers love the American comic strip Tom and Jerry. They are, by far, THE most popular thing in China. Don’t ask me how this came about, or even why. I haven’t a clue. I really do not know.
There are 246 Tom and Jerry cartoon suppliers, mainly located in Asia. The top supplying country is China (Mainland), which supplies 100% of Tom and Jerry cartoon items respectively. These products are exported globally.
Outside of China, Tom and jerry cartoon products are most popular in North America, South America, and the Mid East.
Here are some shoppers in a grocery store checking out a Tom and Jerry cartoon on the television screen. I mean, it’s an enormous hit! Look at the expressions on their faces. My goodness!
Come on! Any society that loves Tom & Jerry can’t be all bad. Really!
Pouring Tea for Congress
China is all about face, and the importance of ritual. They view the collective society as more important than the individual, and so they have adopted various rituals and ways of doing things that seem so strange to our free-wheeling progressive lifestyle in the United States. And yes, in case you are confused, America today is quite a progressive-society. All you need to do is step outside the borders of the USA and compare it with other traditional conservative nations.
The People's Republic of China practices the system of people's congress. China's Constitution stipulates that all power in the People's Republic of China belongs to the people, and the organs through which the people exercise state power are the National People's Congress and the local people's congresses at different levels.
- National People's Congress
Here we have the auditorium for the Chinese version of Congress getting served tea in the proper ritualized manner. In China everything is about tradition, and “face”.
Face (Mianzi) The concept of “face” or “self-image”, known as Mianzi in Chinese, is core to Chinese culture and one which is critical to understand. It can be loosely described as someone’s social status or reputation in the eyes of others and is integral to both social and business dealings.
- Chinese Culture 101
Come on! Those three videos are all pretty cool. You do have to admit. Well, there are many more. However…
Too many videos will slow down the loading of this page, so I have broken this most into multiple pages so that you (the reader) can enjoy. Please click on the link to go to the next part of this multi-part post.
If you want to go to the start of this series of posts, then please click HERE.
Links about China
Here are some links about my observations on China. I think that you, the reader, might find them to be of interest. Please kindly enjoy.
China and America Comparisons
As an American, I cannot help but compare what my life was in the United States with what it is like living in China. Here we discuss that.
The Chinese Business KTV Experience
This is the real deal. Forget about all that nonsense that you find in the British tabloids and an occasional write up in the American liberal press. This is the reality. Read or not.
Learning About China
Who doesn’t like to look at pretty girls? Ugly girls? Here we discuss what China is like by looking at videos of pretty girls doing things in China.
Contemporaneous Chinese Music
This is a series of posts that discuss contemporaneous popular music in China. It is a wide ranging and broad spectrum of travel, and at that, all that I am able to provide is the flimsiest of overviews. However, this series of posts should serve as a great starting place for investigation and enjoyment.
Parks in China
The parks in China are very unique. They are enormous and tend to be very mountainous. Here we take a look at this most interesting of subjects.
Really Strange China
Here are some posts that discuss a number of things about China that might seem odd, or strange to Westerners. Some of the things are everyday events, while others are just representative of the differences in culture.
What is China like?
The purpose of this post is to illustrate that the rest of the world, outside of America, has moved on with their lives. That while they might not be as great as America is, they are doing just fine thank you.
And while America has been squandering it’s money, decimating it’s resources, and just being cavalier with it’s military, the rest of the world has done the opposite. They have husbanded their day to day fortunes, and you can see this in their day-to-day lives.
Articles & Links
You’ll not find any big banners or popups here talking about cookies and privacy notices. There are no ads on this site (aside from the hosting ads – a necessary evil). Functionally and fundamentally, I just don’t make money off of this blog. It is NOT monetized. Finally, I don’t track you because I just don’t care to.
You can start reading the articles sequentially by going HERE.
You can visit the Index Page HERE to explore by article subject.
You can also ask the author some questions. You can go HERE to find out how to go about this.
This is the second page of a multi-post that provides various micro-videos and photos (with narrative) that describe modern contemporaneous Asia. That includes China, Japan, Korea, and Thailand. And, again, here is my warning about low-bandwidth connections, high peak usage, and too many open tabs…
Please kindly note that this post has multiple embedded videos. It is important to view them. If they fail to load, all you need to do is to reload your browser.
Summer in Rural China
Rural areas all over the world are beautiful. I love the thick forests with the lush plant life. I love the meadows, and the brooks. I love the streams, the lakes and large white fluffy clouds that dance upon the sky. It is the same in Amish country as it is in a rural Hunan province in China.
Latest Fashion in Thailand
All through Asia, women like to wear traditional clothing. Not only are they flattering, and comfortable, but they are also quite a fashion statement. This is true in China, as it is in Japan, and Korea. Here are some of the latest in “traditional Thai” clothing.
You see, the fashion world is no longer lead out of Paris or Italy. Because they have off-shored and out-sourced their design teams to Asia. Those very same design teams now make and design clothing for the local Asian populace and they are very, very popular.
Getting Selfies in the Mall in China.
Everyone loves selfies. I guess that is why there are such things as “selfie sticks”, and tripods. You see this all the time, a girl is getting a selfie, or making a movie, or acting cute. There are thousands of such videos all over China. Some are creative, and some are just cute in their simplicity. Such as this one…
Modern Kung Fu in China
Kung Fu is still practiced in China, and it is more popular than ever. You can also see the remarkable videos of the various types of hand-to-hand, or foot to head combat that is always popular in China.
Too many videos will slow down the loading of this page, so I have
broken this most into multiple pages so that you (the reader) can enjoy.
Please click on the link to go to the next part of this multi-part
post.
If you want to go to the start of this series of posts, then please click HERE.
Links about China
Here are some links about my observations on China. I think that you, the reader, might find them to be of interest. Please kindly enjoy.
China and America Comparisons
As an American, I cannot help but compare what my life was in the United States with what it is like living in China. Here we discuss that.
The Chinese Business KTV Experience
This is the real deal. Forget about all that nonsense that you find in the British tabloids and an occasional write up in the American liberal press. This is the reality. Read or not.
Learning About China
Who doesn’t like to look at pretty girls? Ugly girls? Here we discuss what China is like by looking at videos of pretty girls doing things in China.
Contemporaneous Chinese Music
This is a series of posts that discuss contemporaneous popular music in China. It is a wide ranging and broad spectrum of travel, and at that, all that I am able to provide is the flimsiest of overviews. However, this series of posts should serve as a great starting place for investigation and enjoyment.
Parks in China
The parks in China are very unique. They are enormous and tend to be very mountainous. Here we take a look at this most interesting of subjects.
Really Strange China
Here are some posts that discuss a number of things about China that might seem odd, or strange to Westerners. Some of the things are everyday events, while others are just representative of the differences in culture.
What is China like?
The purpose of this post is to illustrate that the rest of the world, outside of America, has moved on with their lives. That while they might not be as great as America is, they are doing just fine thank you.
And while America has been squandering it’s money, decimating it’s resources, and just being cavalier with it’s military, the rest of the world has done the opposite. They have husbanded their day to day fortunes, and you can see this in their day-to-day lives.
Articles & Links
You’ll not find any big banners or popups here talking about cookies and privacy notices. There are no ads on this site (aside from the hosting ads – a necessary evil). Functionally and fundamentally, I just don’t make money off of this blog. It is NOT monetized. Finally, I don’t track you because I just don’t care to.
You can start reading the articles sequentially by going HERE.
You can visit the Index Page HERE to explore by article subject.
You can also ask the author some questions. You can go HERE to find out how to go about this.
This is the second page of a multi-post that provides various micro-videos and photos (with narrative) that describe modern contemporaneous Asia. That includes China, Japan, Korea, and Thailand.
Please kindly note that this post has multiple embedded videos. It is important to view them. If they fail to load, all you need to do is to reload your browser.
Summer Festivals
Festivals are conducted all over the world. China, being such a large nation, with such a large diversity of people, have many, many festivals in the summer. They are held everywhere, and the smaller the town (it seems) the more festivals that they like to have.
Funny thing that.
Anyways, in China, the color red is associated with joy and happiness. Thus we can see this little local parade with bright and happy red colors. Not to mention a cute and pretty local Chinese lass.
Having Fun at a Park
Now, who doesn’t like to have fun? I’ve run into a few of them. They troll comments and posting boards. They have a mental illness. Anyone who does not know how to have fun lives a sorry, sorry life. That’s a fact Jack.
In China, many parks have incorporated all sorts of passive and active enjoyments. From glass floored bridges, to swing sets, monkey bars (for adults) and such things as long-duration mountain slides. Like this. Swoosh!
Now, who wouldn’t want to go down off a mountain by speedy sling-ride? Hum?
J-Pop at Night
Ah, here we have beautiful Japan, and one of the local J-pop dance troupes giving it a go to the delight of the attracted audience.
This is a common sight all over Asia. These groups of dancers offer free presentations in Hong Kong, Taiwan, and China dancing to C-pop and other numbers. They dance in Korea, of course, with very famous dancers to K-pop dancing alongside wanna-be dancers. They dance in Vietnam, Laos, Cambodia and Thailand as well.
This particular group is dancing J-pop in Japan to a Japanese audience. You would never see this in the United States. I do not know why, though I do have a pretty good idea. Personally, it might be due to the various regulations you have to meet, the graft that you must pay, and the various fees and surcharges that will crop up the moment you suggest such a thing. Oh, and if you are in a blue state, you will need to pay off the local union boss as well, and make sure that the police are paid for extra duty and the like…
In Asia, they just do it.
It’s usually just a matter of setting aside a folding chair or two and running tape around it to designate an area that you want to reserve. Sort of like this…
And, as viewed from a different angle…
Public Pools
Here’s a typical pool in China. They tend to be open late into the night, as most Chinese swim at night. They do not like to swim in the daylight. I suppose that that makes them “Vampire Swimmers”. The real reason is that the Chinese do not really like to have their skin turn dark.
There are many reasons for that. There is the belief, an inherited one, no doubt that says that only poor laborers have dark skin, while the rich live a pampered life inside the cool mansions and temples. Other reasons include the fear of getting terrible and deep wrinkles. What I do know is that skin-whiting cremes can be bought everywhere as can be UV sunblock with an SPF of no less than 10,000.
What do you think, you think Chinese pools look like this all the time, eh?
Anyways, American media has presented a terribly distorted view of what pools are like. If you Google “China Pools” you will come up with all sorts of pictures depicting very crowded pools just flooded with multitudes of people. So, naturally, that is the impression that anyone would have if they FUCKING ONLY used AMERICAN WEBSITES to research about China. Gosh darn it! Use Chinese websites to research about China , ya ding-bat.
You don’t go into McDonald’s and order a T-Bone steak, done medium raw, eh? Do you?
It’s like how if you search for “China Dog”, you end up with pages after pages of poor dogs being hurt and tortured. Nah. Not even remotely resembling reality. This post is about reality. Not the cardboard cut-out that the American oligarchy uses to keep Americans down and subservient.
Most Chinese only swim at night.
It is rare to find pools, or beaches crowded during the daytime. If you do, you will more than likely see a sea of umbrellas keeping everyone cool and protected from the relentless sun. So if you see a picture of a bunch of Chinese, out in the hot day, all in a crowded pool… chances are that it’s part of a special event (usually hosted by an organization or two). It’s rather unusual.
Sort of like how unusual it is to be eaten by a White Shark off the coast of Cape Cod.
This is what a Chinese pool is like…
And, this is what it is like on a beach…
BTW, did you know that China has an enormous coast line with an enormous network of lakes and rivers. All of which have government mandated recreational facilities. It’s all part of the conservative belief that the duty of the government is to SERVE the people. It is really quite different from the progressive belief where it’s every man for themselves to do “their own thing” what ever it may be.
Anyways, here’s a chick on one of the many, many beaches…
I like this girl. Nice butt.
Here’s another video. This is of a water park. Yuppur they are all over China. Only that they tend to be much, much larger than their American counterparts, and tend to be quite elaborate. As they all need to compete against each other in size and scope. Ah, check it out.
You’ll notice that the one girl is wearing a light shawl around her waist. Well, that is pretty darn common here in China. It’s to prevent the skin from getting dark, don’t you know. And this is how it manifests.
And, while we are at it, here’s yet another gal at a public pool. You know, in all these videos do you see all those hoards and throngs of people that are so very common on a Google Image Search? Nope. I wonder why…
I have been accused of being a propagandist for the Chinese military. Yup, if you can believe that nonsense. I have been called all sorts of names, like a "fifty center", and an "agitprop", whatever the fuck those two pejorative words mean... I haven't a clue.
The only difference between me and the rest of America is that I am out here and reporting on what I see with my own two eyes.
Not mindlessly repeating the power phrases of the oligarchy that runs America and tries to keep them downtrodden and poor.
Anyways, this video…
Too many videos will slow down the loading of this page, so I have
broken this most into multiple pages so that you (the reader) can enjoy.
Please click on the link to go to the next part of this multi-part
post.
If you want to go to the start of this series of posts, then please click HERE.
Links about China
Here are some links about my observations on China. I think that you, the reader, might find them to be of interest. Please kindly enjoy.
China and America Comparisons
As an American, I cannot help but compare what my life was in the United States with what it is like living in China. Here we discuss that.
The Chinese Business KTV Experience
This is the real deal. Forget about all that nonsense that you find in the British tabloids and an occasional write up in the American liberal press. This is the reality. Read or not.
Learning About China
Who doesn’t like to look at pretty girls? Ugly girls? Here we discuss what China is like by looking at videos of pretty girls doing things in China.
Contemporaneous Chinese Music
This is a series of posts that discuss contemporaneous popular music in China. It is a wide ranging and broad spectrum of travel, and at that, all that I am able to provide is the flimsiest of overviews. However, this series of posts should serve as a great starting place for investigation and enjoyment.
Parks in China
The parks in China are very unique. They are enormous and tend to be very mountainous. Here we take a look at this most interesting of subjects.
Really Strange China
Here are some posts that discuss a number of things about China that might seem odd, or strange to Westerners. Some of the things are everyday events, while others are just representative of the differences in culture.
What is China like?
The purpose of this post is to illustrate that the rest of the world, outside of America, has moved on with their lives. That while they might not be as great as America is, they are doing just fine thank you.
And while America has been squandering it’s money, decimating it’s resources, and just being cavalier with it’s military, the rest of the world has done the opposite. They have husbanded their day to day fortunes, and you can see this in their day-to-day lives.
Articles & Links
You’ll not find any big banners or popups here talking about cookies and privacy notices. There are no ads on this site (aside from the hosting ads – a necessary evil). Functionally and fundamentally, I just don’t make money off of this blog. It is NOT monetized. Finally, I don’t track you because I just don’t care to.
You can start reading the articles sequentially by going HERE.
You can visit the Index Page HERE to explore by article subject.
You can also ask the author some questions. You can go HERE to find out how to go about this.
Spaghetti was invented by the Chinese. However, if you visit any website in the United States you will read that it originated out of Italy. The detailed parroting of this narrative follows the same tired-old formula.
History of pasta meals had deep origins in the eastern Mediterranean countries such as Greece and several territories of Middle East and Arabian Peninsula.
There, meals made form dough were different in many ways to the food that was used on daily basis in Ancient Roman Empire. As historian records can tell us, the direct origin of the Italian pasta came from the Arab meal called “itriyya” that was often described by the Greeks as “dry pasta”.
This durable and long lasting meal was one of the main sources of nutrition for Arab traders who traveled all across then-known world outside of Europe. Because of their nomadic nature and military conquest, the first European contact with itriyya was recorded sometimes during 7th century AD when Arabs managed to occupy Sicily.
There were rumors about Marco Polo bringing Chinese recipe of pasta to the Italy, but his travels happened more than 500 years later.
-History of Spaghetti
Which is fine.
In the Mediterranean region, ground wheat was made into pasta, that eventually evolved into spaghetti. This recipe found it’s way to America, where it eventually became known as American Spaghetti.
Well, long, long before the European cavemen (and cave women) were playing with wheat and pounding it into mush to make noodles, the Chinese had a very well established version of noodles and spaghetti. However, they made both the noodles, and the sauce quite differently.
This is how you make spaghetti in China…
New Make-up Trends
China is an enormous nation. It’s population dwarfs that of the United States. As such, there are many, many sub-cultures, fads and trends that are going on that are way, way off the radar screen in the United States. One such trend is artistic makeup.
Here, you define your own unique way of putting on makeup instead of the more “polished” looks that you might find in the glamor magazines. Sort of like this…
Lolita Fashion in China.
There are many Japanese fashions that have migrated Westward. China has communities of Japanese fashion in all of the cities. Even tiny Zhuhai, where I live, has a contingent of Lolita fashion aficionados.
Summer Monkey Dancing Parade…
And of course, what kind of a summer would it be without a parade of dancing monkey kings? Well?
Let’s continue…
If you want to go to the start of this series of posts, then please click HERE.
Links about China
Here are
some links about my observations on China. I think that you, the reader,
might find them to be of interest. Please kindly enjoy.
China and America Comparisons
As an
American, I cannot help but compare what my life was in the United
States with what it is like living in China. Here we discuss that.
The Chinese Business KTV Experience
This is
the real deal. Forget about all that nonsense that you find in the
British tabloids and an occasional write up in the American liberal
press. This is the reality. Read or not.
Learning About China
Who
doesn’t like to look at pretty girls? Ugly girls? Here we discuss what
China is like by looking at videos of pretty girls doing things in
China.
Contemporaneous Chinese Music
This is a
series of posts that discuss contemporaneous popular music in China. It
is a wide ranging and broad spectrum of travel, and at that, all that I
am able to provide is the flimsiest of overviews. However, this series
of posts should serve as a great starting place for investigation and
enjoyment.
Parks in China
The parks
in China are very unique. They are enormous and tend to be very
mountainous. Here we take a look at this most interesting of subjects.
Really Strange China
Here are
some posts that discuss a number of things about China that might seem
odd, or strange to Westerners. Some of the things are everyday events,
while others are just representative of the differences in culture.
What is China like?
The
purpose of this post is to illustrate that the rest of the world,
outside of America, has moved on with their lives. That while they
might not be as great as America is, they are doing just fine thank
you.
And while
America has been squandering it’s money, decimating it’s resources,
and just being cavalier with it’s military, the rest of the world has
done the opposite. They have husbanded their day to day fortunes, and
you can see this in their day-to-day lives.
Articles & Links
You’ll not
find any big banners or popups here talking about cookies and privacy
notices. There are no ads on this site (aside from the hosting ads – a
necessary evil). Functionally and fundamentally, I just don’t make money
off of this blog. It is NOT monetized. Finally, I don’t track you
because I just don’t care to.
You can start reading the articles sequentially by going HERE.
You can visit the Index Page HERE to explore by article subject.
You can also ask the author some questions. You can go HERE to find out how to go about this.
Well, do you know? Most people don’t, and if you were to poll Joe-and-suzy average on the street, you would find that just about no-one has ever heard of it. Yet, it is THE most important amendment to the United States Constitution. In fact, I would argue that the United States is what it is today due to ignoring this amendment.
Yes… yes… yes…
We all know that the Bill of Rights functionally no longer exists. It doesn’t, and it hasn’t existed for over a hundred years. I’m not going to insult the reader with the facts, it has long since been documented time and time again…
The sole purpose of the ATF is infringe on the Second Amendment.
The Utah Data Collection Center would not exist if the Fourth Amendment was being enforced.
Judicial “Plea Bargains” circumvented both the Sixth and Seventh Amendment Protections.
The DHS and TSA has severely degraded Fifth Amendment protections.
The Tenth Amendment was eviscerated when the Southern States lost the American Civil War.
The Preamble to the Bill of Rights is ignored.
The facts are there, plain as day. There is no need to parse individual details. Those doing so are either [1] Living in an Ivory Tower bubble, [2] Mentally retarded, or [3] Shrills for the Oligarchy. There is no other excuse.
I argue here, that just about everything related to the “War on Drugs”, the “War on Poverty”, regulations for “Climate Change”, and just about every single liberal progressive social engineering effort (from cake baking, to LGBT bathrooms), would be stopped dead in it’s tracks, if the Ninth Amendment were being followed.
We now inhabit a world that demonizes Thomas Jefferson and elevates Frederica Wilson. Is there any way out of this mess that doesn’t involve a spaceship?
- From the editors, at Taki's Magazine
What is the Ninth Amendment?
The Ninth Amendment
The ninth amendment states that though only some rights are specifically listed in the Constitution, those rights not specifically listed are not denied to the people. It was designed to further protect the rights of the people by preventing the government from creating restrictions on unlisted rights.
-Wikipedia
I like that sentence…
“It was designed to … prevent the government from creating restrictions … on citizens.”
The exact text reads:
The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people.
Ah, it’s pretty clear, don’t ya think. Just because the Constitution list the freedom to speak as a Right, this amendment says that there are many, many other Rights that Americans have.
The Ninth Amendment was James Madison’s attempt to ensure that the Bill of Rights was not seen as granting to the people of the United States only the specific rights it addressed.
In recent years, some have interpreted it as affirming the existence of such “unenumerated” rights outside those expressly protected by the Bill of Rights.
-Legal Information Institute
The FDA example.
For instance… consider this RIGHT that is not enumerated within the Constitution;
The RIGHT to eat and drink whatever you want.
Or, in other words, the RIGHT to take what ever medicine or substance and ingest it. If you want to drink alcohol, then the government should not get involved. If you want to smoke crazy-weed, it’s none of the government’s business. I you wanted to take a large dosage of vitamin “D”, go ahead.
That’s what freedom is all about.
A person living in freedom, as delineated by the Ninth Amendment would not have to contend with…
Regulations on “Obama-School-Lunch” composition.
All FDA restrictions, and drug schedules.
Regulations on the manufacture of home-made moonshine.
Regulations on “Magic Mushrooms”, “demon weed”, and “tobacco”.
Even, regulations on eating Tide Pod’s.
Freedom, real freedom, is the ability to enjoy or even harm yourself unencumbered by laws, regulation, or the busybody next door.
Thus, I argue, that the Ninth Amendment clearly says that the RIGHT to eat and drink what you want shall not be restricted, infringed or forbidden by the government.
Thus, the enormous federal bureaucracy (the FDA) that restricts access to food, drugs, and drinks DOES NOT CONSTITUTIONALLY HAVE THE POWER to ban, restrict or reduce access to anything. The only power that they have is advisory.
Or, are you going to use the twisted logic that banning access to local plants falls under the “commerce clause” in the Constitution?
Ah. I can hear the squeals from the busybodies in the audience! Look over there… Jeff Sessions is really going to clamp down on that “demon weed”, and look over there…! Nancy Pelosi is all hot and bothered…”what about the children?”!!!!
Today, we need the Ninth Amendment more than ever before. With larger and larger number of Radical Muslims taking seats in Congress, it won’t be long until pork products will be banned in America, and Islamic food preparation methods will be mandated across the land.
People, the government is NOT our parents.
The United States government was intended to be a mechanism of government, a machine that we the people controlled. Why in Heaven’s name would we create a government that would hurt, harm or restrict our Rights? Hum?
Another Example, the EPA…
Today, most Americans have no idea what the concept of “property” means. They think it is a house. A house that you make mortgage payments to a bank, and yearly tax checks to the government. A house that when you die, your heirs must fight the government to determine how of of “your” property you get to keep in the family.
Nonsense!
Property is anything that you own that no-one can tax, regulate, inspect, investigate, or seize.
Under that definition, most Americans don’t have any property.
It’s true, and I don’t want to rub your face in the doggie-do-do, but that’s a fact. Everything that you “own” can today be seized, inspected, or taxed by the all powerful United States government. Including your very own body. Everything.
And, since you don’t own anything, the government can tell you what you can or cannot do with it. People, if you actually owned property, no one could tell you what to do with it, nor could they tax it either.
Not making a pond, cutting down a tree, or growing grass
I argue that the Ninth Amendment protects your RIGHTS to own property.
The RIGHT to own property that cannot be taxed, inspected, regulated or seized by any government agent.
Which brings me to one of the favorite militarized branches of the progressive left; the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA).
Or, are you going to use the twisted logic that telling you what you can do on your property falls under the “commerce clause” in the Constitution?
Rights retained by the people.
The Federalists contended that a bill of rights was unnecessary. They believed that everyone understood that God made man and gave him Rights. Therefore, we could have a kind and just government that did not need to enumerate any Rights given by God. They believed that the government would always protect the Rights of man.
Such fools. Such simpletons!
They argued that if you started to list the Rights given to man by God, that you would have to list every single Right. Or else the government would insist that only those Rights listed would count as Rights.
Well, they were correct. That is how the government works today.
Madison adverted to this argument in presenting his proposed amendments to the House of Representatives. He said…
“It has been objected also against a bill of rights, that, by enumerating particular exceptions to the grant of power, it would disparage those rights which were not placed in that enumeration; and it might follow by implication, that those rights which were not singled out, were intended to be assigned into the hands of the General Government, and were consequently insecure.
This is one of the most plausible arguments I have ever heard against the admission of a bill of rights into this system; but, I conceive, that it may be guarded against. I have attempted it, as gentlemen may see by turning to the last clause of the fourth resolution.”
It is clear from its text and from Madison’s statement that the Amendment states are but a rule of construction. He made clear that a Bill of Rights might not by implication be taken to increase the powers of the national government. Whether it was in areas not enumerated, or in any other fashion. Further, the simplicity of the amendment, does not contain within itself any guarantee of a Right or a proscription of an infringement of a Right.
In 1965 the Amendment was construed to be positive affirmation of the existence of rights which are not enumerated but which are nonetheless protected by other provisions.
Justice Goldberg devoted several pages to the Ninth Amendment in one of her rulings…
“The language and history of the Ninth Amendment reveal that the Framers of the Constitution believed that there are additional fundamental rights, protected from governmental infringement, which exist alongside those fundamental rights specifically mentioned in the first eight constitutional amendments. . . .
To hold that a right so basic and fundamental and so deep-rooted in our society as the right of privacy in marriage may be infringed because that right is not guaranteed in so many words by the first eight amendments to the Constitution is to ignore the Ninth Amendment and to give it no effect whatsoever.
Moreover, a judicial construction that this fundamental right is not protected by the Constitution because it is not mentioned in explicit terms by one of the first eight amendments or elsewhere in the Constitution would violate the Ninth Amendment. . . .
Nor do I mean to state that the Ninth Amendment constitutes an independent source of right protected from infringement by either the States or the Federal Government.
Rather, the Ninth Amendment shows a belief of the Constitution’s authors that fundamental rights exist that are not expressly enumerated in the first eight amendments and an intent that the list of rights included there not be deemed exhaustive.”
- 381 U.S. at 488, 491, 492. Chief Justice Warren and Justice Brennan joined this opinion. Justices Harlan and White concurred, id. at 499, 502, without alluding to the Ninth Amendment, but instead basing their conclusions on substantive due process, finding that the state statute “violates basic values implicit in the concept of ordered liberty” (citing Palko v. Connecticut, 302 U.S. 319, 325 (1937)). Id. at 500.
Therefore, although neither Douglas’ nor Goldberg’s opinion sought to make the Ninth Amendment a substantive source of constitutional guarantees. Which is unfortunate. Instead, both read it as indicating a function of the courts to interpose a veto over legislative and executive efforts to abridge other fundamental rights.
Never the less, the text to the Ninth Amendment is quite clear…
The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people.
Other Rights that fall under the Ninth Amendment…
Here’s some other Rights that the Ninth Amendment would normally be protecting were it enforced…
Right to Privacy.
The Right to exist.
The Right to own property without infringement.
The Right to eat and drink freely.
Right to Internet Freedom.
Right for the Freedom of Thought.
The Right of DNA privacy.
The Freedom to be forgotten.
The Freedom to be forgiven (Felons).
The Freedom to have opinions.
The Rights of those not yet born.
The Right to be left alone.
All of which were non-enumerated Rights that Americans enjoyed in 1776. Which, unfortunately today, Americans no longer have.
An average citizen here in 1800 would go years, decades even, without seeing one single minion of the federal government, anywhere, not only his entire day, but for his entire life.
- From Aesop at Raconteur Report
Conclusion
I argue that the Ninth Amendment is severely under-utilized.
I further argue that this amendment would render much of the regulatory agencies in the United States obsolete, as they all operate under the assumption that Americans only have enumerated Rights. Not any non-enumerated Rights no matter what the Ninth Amendment says.
The presence of any regulatory agency presupposes that there are ZERO non-enumerated Rights.
Supreme Court decisions that involve the Ninth Amendment have implied that only the enumerated Rights (in the Bill of Rights) are all that is needed for American citizens to have. Their mention of the Ninth Amendment is only in passing without any substantive effect on governance. Hopefully this will change in the future.
That being said. I’m not going to hold my breath. The swamp is big, enormous and very powerful. The ONLY way that the nation can recover from decades upon decades of abuse is to “nuke it from orbit” and start all over fresh.
Posts Regarding Life and Contentment
Here are
some other similar posts on this venue. If you enjoyed this post, you
might like these posts as well. These posts tend to discuss growing up
in America. Often, I like to compare my life in America with the society
within communist China. As there are some really stark differences
between the two.
Posts about the Changes in America
America is
going through a period of change. Change is good… that is, after it
occurs. Often however, there are large periods of discomfort as the
period of adjustment takes place. Here are some posts that discuss this
issue.
More Posts about Life
I have
broken apart some other posts. They can best be classified about ones
actions as they contribute to happiness and life. They are a little
different, in subtle ways.
Articles & Links
You’ll not
find any big banners or popups here talking about cookies and privacy
notices. There are no ads on this site (aside from the hosting ads – a
necessary evil). Functionally and fundamentally, I just don’t make money
off of this blog. It is NOT monetized. Finally, I don’t track you
because I just don’t care to.
Here is my homage to the Killdozer and the man that made it a reality, Mr. Marvin John Heemeyer.
Marvin John Heemeyer was an American welder and an automobile muffler repair shop owner who went on a rampage with a modified bulldozer. Outraged over zoning disputes, he armored a Komatsu D355A bulldozer with layers of steel and concrete and used it on June 4, 2004 to demolish the town hall, the former mayor's house, and other buildings in Granby, Colorado. The rampage ended when the bulldozer became stuck in the basement of a Gambles store he was in the process of destroying.
-Wikipedia
What is this post all about?
The only crimes here are the cruel things people did that forced a hard-working American entrepreneur to take vengeance on those who wronged him in the most American way possible.
-Forum Something Awful
The story of a dark hero.
This man was an AMERICAN, who handled things as only a real red-blooded American man would. He tried every non-violent means at his disposal.
Yes. He tried every non-violent means at his disposal, then when they all failed, he planned his revenge. Then he worked the plan. He did not bend over, lie down, and accept being cheated, abused and then laughed at.
As such, he is a “dark” hero.
The best part of any article about Killdozer is every time they mention something that couldn't stop it...
- hundreds of rounds of ammunition.
- 3 explosions.
- a flash bang grenade in the exhaust.
- shooting the cameras.
-the undersheriff personally hopping on top of it like luke skywalker to look for weak points.
- the owner of the concrete plant climbing into his own heavy engineering vehicle to do battle.
-Forum Something Awful
While I do admire his creativity, his planning, and the idea of obtaining revenge on people who earnestly believe they are “untouchable”, I totally disagree on how he went about it.
My opinion, as a "backseat driver", and looking in hindsight, perhaps...
Perhaps he should of tired harder, if at all possible, to negotiate for a better conclusion to his situation. Perhaps he could of tried to become friends instead of enemies with the people in power. Perhaps he should have looked at the entire situation from a "glass half full" point of view instead of throwing the glass off the table and shattering it.
We will never fully understand his motivations. What we do know is that the hatred and anger persisted like a smoldering ember for one and a half years after he was fucked over.
He tried to document his efforts. Perhaps to provide clarity for second-guessers like myself. Or, maybe just to inspire others to go “Death Wish” a.k.a. Charles Bronson style when they too are fucked over.
When his back was up against a wall, he used brute force, not realizing that time is your friend and secretive planning is how you exert revenge. Not by immediate and direct brute force. He was way too emotionally connected. He needed to calm down and look at the positives.
He fucked up.
Spectacularly.
Or did he?
If all he wanted to do was get revenge on those that hurt him, there were other things he could have done. He could have poisoned them, one by one. Kidnapped family members. Tortured, haunted them like some kind of evil horror movie. He could have invited one out to a public restaurant (Godfather style) and shot him dead in such a public place.
No. He didn't want to hurt the people that wronged him. He wanted to do more than that. He wanted to make a point. He wanted to be an exclamation point that everyone can look to in a mixture of awe and disgust.
He wanted to send a message.
And, he did that. Didn’t he?
Killdozer Meme
The story of the Killdozer.
We’ve all been there.
A powerful, entrenched, local government starts using their power for their very own personal advantage. You, as the little guy, can either “play ball”, or get run over.
They’ve done it before, and got away with it. Others were hurt, and slithered away harmlessly to lick their wounds. Meanwhile the hurters, the ones getting away with all this, get more embolden, more brazen, and more outrageous.
They become powerful.
They know they are protected and insulated from justice. They own the police. They own the judges. They own the investigators. They have friends in government. They are pals with other local leaders. They are protected and immune.
So they exert their power and influence. They push others around and they get away with it. Their pushes become shoves. Their actions become brazen, overt and outrageous. People watch from the sidelines, but do nothing.
Eventually…
That “little guy” that they are so used to pushing around, isn’t really so little. You don’t fuck with the wrong guy.
This is the story of Marvin Heemeyer of Granby, Colorado. And, it is not a happy one.
The guy was a profoundly frustrated muffler repair man. In the late 1990s—after years of protests, petitions, and town meetings—it became obvious to the 52-year-old that he was entwined in a gross miscarriage of justice.
And there was nothing he could do about it.
Nothing.
Officially, and on the surface, it seems like he was “shafted”.
His business was ruined by some shady zoning changes, as well as a total lack of cooperation with local government and authorities. He was being forced to leave and was driven away out of the community.
Yeah. That’s what all the articles say.
But truthfully, you and I both know this, a big powerful family fucked him over. They bought and owned the government. They used their power to hurt Heemayer, destroy his livelihood, eviscerate his income, tarnish his reputation and drive him out of the town.
Heemeyer contended, over and over, to anyone who would listen, that both the mayor and the entire city council were corrupt.
Never definitively proven, though. The proof of the corruption remains elusive.
Even as he was forced to give up his legal fight and sell his land, he hatched one last plan. He became Macgyver.
He secretly retooled his muffler shop to serve a singular purpose. To create a weapon of revenge. One so clear and so unique that it would serve as a message to all the other wealthy powerful people in the world…
You will one day meet someone… who, you don’t know… who will not roll over, bend over and be fucked.
He was a man who built up a small business by working hard.
His story is that of a typical man from “fly-over country”.
Heemeyer first became enamored with the state of Colorado when he was stationed there in the Air Force. After his service ended, he moved to Grand Lake, Colorado and opened a small chain of muffler shops in the surrounding cities. He prospered. Who’d ever figure that there would be such a need for muffler repair and installation?
But there was.
After a while he began to lease some of the shops out to other operators, but kept one, Mountain View Muffler in Granby, to operate himself. And for some time, he did well for himself.
He got involved in local politics, and perhaps that’s where all his troubles began.
Heemeyer became involved with politics almost immediately upon establishing his home in Colorado.
Politics are dangerous.
I once discussed this issue with a person who moved from New Jersey to Alabama. They tried to get "plugged into" the local Democrat political scene in Alabama, and they were most brutally shut out from it. Local politics can be severe, and ruthless if you are an outsider.
He was generally well-liked among his friends and neighbors, being described as an “enjoyable person,” and as someone who would “bend over backwards for anyone”. There were some, however, who were more familiar with his volatile temperament. They said that he was nice, but DO NOT PISS HIM OFF.
He was a strong proponent of legalizing gambling, and he published at least two newsletters to disseminate his views. I guess that he felt about legalized gambling like I feel about wine and pretty girls. You can’t live without them.
But he had a real passion for this particular issue. It’s a strong democrat issue, and for what ever reason… one that I cannot relate to… it was very important to him.
When a reporter for a local paper interviewed Heemeyer for an editorial opposed to gambling, he reported that Heemeyer was so enraged by the opposition that the interview nearly came to blows. He was that passionate about his beliefs.
In one particularly extreme instance, Heemeyer threatened to kill a customer’s husband when she refused to pay for a faulty muffler repair. It’s a bit extreme, but then again…all this is HEARSAY. Who knows what is true and what isn’t.
“If Marv was your friend, he was your best friend,” said one of Heemeyer’s close associates, “but if he decided that he was your enemy, then he was your worst and most dangerous enemy.”
Land Disputes
In the late 1990s the Docheff family approached Heemeyer to buy his one remaining muffler shop in order to build a concrete batch plant on the land.
It was a matter of public record that Heemeyer had bought the land for $42,000. Docheff reported that they agreed to buy the land for $250,000, but the deal fell apart when Heemeyer raised the price to $375,000. These kinds of negotiations are fairly common. The buyer offers a low bid, the seller counters, and they haggle for a spell.
Apparently, for one reason or the other, the negotiations fell though.
Rather than continue negotiations, the Docheff’s decided that they could not wait indefinitely on purchasing the land.
Thus, the Docheffs went to the Granby City Council and arranged the re-zoning of the land surrounding Heemeyer’s muffler shop instead. However, they managed to do more than just simply re-zone the land…
That way, they reasoned, they could relocate their cement plant near their target location, without having to deal with Heemeyer.
You know, a little like this…
Re-zoning the property and more…
Up until this point, it’s all pretty straight forward.
The Docheff’s want to place a cement plant where Heemeyer has his muffler shop. However, the negotiations stall, and so they decide to rezone the land next to the muffler shop as a fall back position.
But something went wrong. No one knows what happened, but there was some “bad blood” spilled, and those who had the power to re-zone the land were prejudicial to Heemeyer. We do not know why.
No one knows why.
Perhaps it was because Heemeyer was involved in the re-zoning process from the outset, attending town meetings to ensure that his interests were protected. Maybe it was his personality. Maybe it was due to bribes, or the “good ol’ boy” network. We do not know.
Nevertheless, in 2001 the town zoning commission and trustees approved the rezoning request.
This was a disaster for the Muffler shop. As the approved plan for the concrete plant cut off the only route to his muffler shop.
The city also fined Heemeyer $2,500 for “junk cars” on his property.
They also fined him for failing to have his shop hooked up to the sewer line.
Heemeyer fights back
Hindered but not yet defeated, Heemeyer set out to remedy the situation using community action, legal maneuvering, and elbow grease.
He appealed the zoning commission’s decision, and gathered signatures from the townsfolk to petition against the plant.
He attempted to obtain permission to install a sewer line under eight feet of land owned by Mountain Park Concrete, but the new owners refused.
He even went so far as to buy a bulldozer to build a new road that would allow customer access to his muffler shop, but the city council refused his plan.
Thus, in conclusion, the re-zoning board [1] made it impossible for a long-term business (the muffler shop) to continue doing business, and [2] expressed favoritism to a very powerful local family; the Docheff family. As well as [3] being prejudicial in every way to the existing business.
Many people suspected there were some shady dealings between the concrete plant and the members of the city council, but no actual evidence of such illegal goings-on has ever been found.
He Loses, sells out, and that’s that…
Having no recourse, Heemeyer sent the city a $2,500 check to cover the fines, with the word “cowards” written ominously on the memo line.
He then sold the muffler shop property to a trash company, and was given six months to vacate.
Flush with money…
Now, if this was me, I’d take a spin with the money. I’d go out and have fun. I’d chill out. Play with pretty girls. I’d drink wine, eat delicious steaks, and watch many a sunset on long sandy beaches.
But, then again, I’m a different person.
A plan of revenge.
Heemeyer set to work on his new project almost immediately.
Thirty years ago, the television character Angus MacGyver captured the essence of America’s self-image as a nation of self-reliant defenders of good with a knack for solving an unsolvable problem, using nothing more than a Swiss Army knife and whatever could be found on hand—a paperclip, duct tape and some chewing gum.
The name MacGyver even became a verb, meaning to "jumpstart a car with a cactus," or rather, to solve the problem with grit and good old American ingenuity (and a serious understanding of engineering and physical sciences). Inspiring a generation of tinkerers and professional engineers alike, MacGyver did for engineering what CSI has done for forensic sciences.
-Inspiring Invention the Macgyver Way
The Komatsu D335A bulldozer that was meant to save his business was instead moved into the muffler shop, and Heemeyer began to make some modifications to it.
He started by adding home-made composite armor—cement sandwiched between thick sheets of steel—to protect the cab, engine, and parts of the tracks.
He covered the outside with slippery grease so that people could not climb on easily.
He installed front and rear cameras to feed images to monitors in the cab. He then placed thick PVD bullet-proof plastic over the cameras.
There were no windows at all. There were no access ports. It was a totally sealed box.
He created several gun ports that were set around the control center, and had an array of weaponry.
A stockpile of food and water was stored inside.
He went as far as to build in an air tank to help provide air circulation.
Documentation and narrative.
He planned. He ordered components, and he built his revenge. It took him one and a half-years to make. Think about that. Throughout the one-and-a-half years of construction, Heemeyer documented his progress though notes and audio tapes.
“Because of your anger, because of your malice, because of your hate, you would not work with me,” he stated in his tape recordings.
“I am going to sacrifice my life, my miserable future that you gave me, to show you that what you did is wrong.”
He was totally caught up.
Killdozer is a misnomer since he didn’t kill anybody, but Justicedozer doesn’t have the same ring to it.
-Dad's Friend Steve
He received several visitors at his shop while working on his armored vehicle of vengeance, and none of them seemed alarmed at the weaponized armor shell atop his earth-mover.
In his notes Heemeyer credited a higher power with “clouding their vision.” On one occasion he wrote, “I was always willing to be reasonable until I had to be unreasonable. Sometimes reasonable men must do unreasonable things.”
“I was always willing to be reasonable until I had to be unreasonable. Sometimes reasonable men must do unreasonable things.”
A tough year.
2004 was a tough year for Heemeyer.
His father passed away in March.
He discovered that his fiancee was involved with another man., so he left her.
He lost his business, and was forced to sell it.
The community leaders literally kicked him out of town.
And they fined him as he was leaving.
Friday 4JUN04 – A day of Rampage.
The morning of Friday, the 4th of June was gray and drizzly. I’m sure that he got up, had a decent meal, and took care of his affairs according to plan. He pretty much figured that it would be his last meal.
He knew what to do.
“I was always willing to be reasonable until I had to be unreasonable. Sometimes reasonable men must do unreasonable things.”
Heemeyer mailed his audio tapes to his brother, went to his shop, and climbed into his bulldozer with a handwritten list of targets. Of course, he made check of everything, made sure that everything was in place and secure. Then checked everything again.
He used the winch controls to lower the concrete and steel shell onto the top of his vehicle. (Nothing short of a crane would be able to lift the thirty-ton armor shell off the vehicle once it was in place. ) With that fateful metal clap, Heemeyer was sealed in a concrete and steel box that he could never escape.
At just after 3:00 PM, the makeshift tank tore through the side of his shed, and smashed into the Mountain Park Concrete plant. The very plant that ruined his business, and kicked him out of town.
Shortly thereafter, the phones at the 911 response center began ringing incessantly.
The tankdozer was out on the loose.
A man named Cody Docheff witnessed the destruction-in-progress. He ran to a front-end loader in an attempt to intercept the rampaging bulldozer. He stated that he withdrew when he was fired upon from the gun ports of this “Killdozer.”
Yeah. That’s right. Cody Docheff.
Cody Docheff of the powerful Docheff family that managed to rezone the land, managed to have Heemeyer evicted, and managed to have him fined on the way out the door.
The tankdozer ambled on.
Within minutes two buildings and multiple vehicles were eviscerated, and the Killdozer rumbled towards the highway into town.
The slow-moving bulldozer picked up a parade of emergency vehicle escorts as it approached the city limits. Police cruisers with sirens blazing tried to stop the tankdozer. But to no avail.
The tankdozer kept up chugging along.
Reminds you of the O.J.Simpson SUV escape, eh?
Chugga chugga…
One police SUV was crushed when it strayed too near.
I guess the sheriff never watched Godzilla movies as a kid. You don't mess around with big, slow moving, heavy articulated monsters.
The tankdozer was invincible.
Undersheriff Glen Trainor managed to climb atop the moving bulldozer, and used 37 rounds from his service pistol to try and shoot his way in. “I think the thing that drove me,” he later reported, “is that I knew that killing him behind the wheel was the only way we were going to be able to stop this thing.”
The tankdozer kept on moving forward. Nothing could stop it.
When Heemeyer and his Killdozer arrived in town, the Granby police were waiting for him. But it made no difference.
The tankdozer kept on plowing forward. Chugga chugga.
Against the armored behemoth, however, the lawmen were powerless. When it became clear that the armor was impervious to bullets the police tried explosives, but they too were without effect.
Chugga chugga.
Lawmen kept to the sides and tried to vacate anyone from the Killdozer’s path, and the local police utilized the reverse 911 system to call residents and warn them of the approaching danger.
The tankdozer kept up the pace. And followed his plan.
News helicopters filmed the unfolding violence from above.
The over-encumbered vehicle was obviously difficult to control, and swerved widely through the streets, but Heemeyer was still able to seek out and and hit his specific building targets.
Of course.
He was a man on a mission.
The bulldozer effortlessly demolished cars and buildings, including the home of a former mayor, the office of a newspaper that had sided against him in an editorial, the businesses of a former city councilman, and the city hall.
Hey! You want to play games? Well try this on…
Chugga chugga chugga…
Tankdozer on the prowl.
Despite all the destruction of property, no people had been injured or killed. That was not his intention.
His intention was to completely level the town to the ground.
Chugga chugga chugga.
The Granby Police requisitioned an industrial scraper to pit heavy equipment against heavy equipment, but the Killdozer merely shoved the lighter adversary aside. The Killdozer was invincible.
They shot at it.
They tried to stop it with explosives.
They tried to disable it with flashbangs…
It kept on moving. Invincible.
Chugga chugga chugga.
In about an hour of mayhem, the bulldozer had demolished thirteen structures and was en route to its next target: Gamble’s Hardware.
Chugga chugga.
The rampage starts to wind down.
The damage from small arms and the extra weight of the armor were taking a toll on the vehicle, however.
It was still following the mission parameters.
Chugga chugga.
The radiator had sprung a leak, and the Killdozer was losing horsepower. As the fatigued machine crashed through the wall of the hardware store the floor beneath the beast broke, and the front end of the bulldozer fell into a shallow basement. The engine struggled, but it could not power itself out of the pit.
As SWAT teams surrounded the wounded Killdozer, one of the members reported hearing a single, muffled gunshot from within the cab.
The vehicle didn’t move again, ending a rampage that had lasted 2 hours 7 minutes, and caused about $7 million in damage.
1.5 years prep for 2 hours and seven minutes of carnage.
Autopsy
Explosives were employed to try to open the tank, but in the end it took twelve hours with an oxyacetylene torch and a crane to crack the armored top. Like German tank destroyers from World War II, the top of the tank was sealed by crane.
Inside Heemeyer was found dead, having shot himself with a .357 handgun. He was the lone casualty of the destruction spree.
Once the Killdozer’s cab was opened and Heemeyer was removed, the
police inventoried his numerous guns, and found his list of targets; in
addition to buildings and businesses, the list included names.
Funny how the names on the list were never released. Perhaps the town wanted to protect the people on that list. Duh?
You know like how the identity of the black-hooded Antifa thugs must be protected.
Like how the police in Chicago protected Jussie Smollett and his fake accusations against Trump supporters.
In order to prevent rampage admirers from collecting Killdozer
memorabilia, the dozer was dismantled, and its parts were scattered
among many separate scrapyards.
You know, following the same modus oprandi that was used by Janet Reno and Bill Clinton during the Branch Dividian assault.
Anyone who has tried and failed to influence an uncaring government cannot help but feel a twinge of admiration for the extreme measures taken by Marvin Heemeyer. If you don’t then obviously you haven’t lived through an IRS audit, and FDA investigation, a FCC summons, or a DUI check-point shake-down.
It’s life in America today, unless you are a member of the protected urban elite.
Never Forget the story of the Killdozer.
Why so important?
Of course that was all over 15 years ago. It involves a place where I have never been, and people that I have never met. Why is it so important to me?
It’s because he wasn’t trying to exert revenge on the people that fucked him over. It looks like it, but no… no, that is not what happened.
Instead, he wanted to make a point for the entire world to see. He wanted to completely level the town to the ground and bulldoze it under the mighty tracks of his tank-killdozer.
That’s why.
He wanted to send a warning out to all those small fiefdoms, kingdoms, and moguls that dot the United States, that people are getting really fed up with youse guys. And you’d best tone it down or you WILL be hurt.
Life moves on.
It’s easy for us to strike back at material things, instead of the people who originated the problems in the first place. Easy.
And STUPID.
We strike at the property, their things, and the wealth and value they represent. But this is wrong. If anything is truly visceral, then it is on a personal level. You do not strike against things. You strike against the people behind the entire mess.
You attack the man behind the curtain. Not the curtain itself.
And the people who instigated this entire sordid affair are living their lives as if nothing had happened. The sun shines. The flowers grow. They have McDonald’s hamburgers with their children. They did not learn the horrible consequences of their behaviors.
If you kick a dog, he will lunge at your throat. If you hurt a cat, they will attack your face and claw out your eyes. They are primitives and operate on the visceral level. They are not civilized and fight “fair” like normal progressive beta-male humans do. You know, the ones that wear vagina hats, have spiked green hair, and wear masks to cover their identities.
No. Instead, wild animals fight like us “normals” do.
We pick targets. We plan, and we work the plan. With lethal accuracy.
If we wanted to kill someone, we would do it.
If we wanted to hurt someone we would do it.
If we wanted to destroy something, we would do it.
But, if we wanted to send a message… then oh, boy would it be spectacular.
Pissing off the wrong person.
Kitchner posted:
Killdozer is the reason that if I were to ever become supreme dictator, I would round up all the quiet and unassuming guys with no friends who spend a lot of their time building stuff and doing other hobbies in their sheds/garages and march them into prison camps.
Spies, Assassins, and revolutionaries can all be dealt with. They are known quantities you can plan for.
Piss off the wrong dude who quietly works on stuff in his garage though and he dedicates all his time to Macgyver-ing himself some insane but efficient contraption that no one sees coming. They are the true threat.
There are many, many people in America today that have gotten far too powerful and their behavior reflects that fact. They cannot help themselves, and it’s getting progressively worse every day. People! Never forget the Killdozer.
That’s who youse guys are dealing with. Not some beta-male antifa BLM SJW types. We are different. We solve problems.
Killdozer Meme
Please feel free to use this most excellent Killdozer meme…
Great Links
Here are some great links, for further reading if you don’t like my take on this story.
Here are
some other similar posts on this venue. If you enjoyed this post, you
might like these posts as well. These posts tend to discuss growing up
in America. Often, I like to compare my life in America with the society
within communist China. As there are some really stark differences
between the two.
Posts about the Changes in America
America is
going through a period of change. Change is good… that is, after it
occurs. Often however, there are large periods of discomfort as the
period of adjustment takes place. Here are some posts that discuss this
issue.
More Posts about Life
I have
broken apart some other posts. They can best be classified about ones
actions as they contribute to happiness and life. They are a little
different, in subtle ways.
Articles & Links
You’ll not
find any big banners or popups here talking about cookies and privacy
notices. There are no ads on this site (aside from the hosting ads – a
necessary evil). Functionally and fundamentally, I just don’t make money
off of this blog. It is NOT monetized. Finally, I don’t track you
because I just don’t care to.
Lately I have been busy posting reprints of classic science fiction. I am sure that all these old stories might irritate the more practical and pragmatic readers out in Internet-land, but that need not be so. These stories are great. They are classical enjoyments for those of us that tire of the progressive re-write of the Star Trek universe, and the Star Wars narrative.
A. E. van Vogt was one of the most popular and influential practitioners of science fiction in the mid-twentieth century, the genre’s so-called Golden Age, and one of the most complex. He is the author that brought forth the idea of a “Space Opera” and the complexities of a dark, and potentially sinister universe.
This story is a fine example of this great writer’s best work from his most creative period – the forties and early fifties, during the “golden age” of science-fiction. It is wonderfully short, and does “pack a wallop” in situational conveyance.
It’s a steady diet of stories such as this that inspired me to study Aerospace Engineering, become a Naval Aviator, and join MAJestic.
Not The First
Captain Harcourt wakened with a start. In the darkness he lay tense, shaking the sleep out of his mind. Something was wrong. He couldn’t quite place the discordant factor, but it trembled there on the verge of his brain, an alien thing that shattered for him the security of the spaceship.
He strained his senses against the blackness of the room—and abruptly grew aware of the intensity of that dark. The night of the room was shadow-less, a pitch-like black that lay like an opaque blanket hard on his eyeballs.
That was it. The darkness. The indirect night light must have gone off. And out here in interstellar space there would be no diffused light as there was on Earth and even within the limits of the solar system.
Still, it was odd that the lighting system should have gone on the blink on this first “night” of this first trip of the first spaceship powered by the new, stupendous atomic drive.
A sudden thought made him reach toward the light switch.
The click made a futile sound in the pressing weight of the darkness—and seemed like a signal for the footsteps that whispered hesitantly along the corridor, and paused outside his door. There was a knock, then a muffled, familiar, yet strained voice: “Harcourt!”
The urgency in the man’s tone seemed to hold connection to all the odd menace of the past few minutes. Harcourt, conscious of relief, barked, “Come in, Gunther. The door’s unlocked!”
In the darkness, he slipped from under the sheets and fumbled for his clothes—as the door opened, and the breathing of the navigation officer of the ship became a thick, satisfying sound that destroyed the last vestige of the hard silence.
“Harcourt, the damnedest thing has happened. It started when everything electrical went out of order. Compton says we’ve been accelerating for two hours now at heaven only knows what rate.”
There was no pressure on him now. The familiar presence and voice of Gunther had a calming effect; the sense of queer, mysterious things was utterly gone. Here was something into which he could figuratively sink his teeth.
Harcourt stepped matter-of-factly into his trousers and said after a moment: “I hadn’t noticed the acceleration. So used to the— Hmm, doesn’t seem more than two gravities. Nothing serious could result in two hours. As for light, they’ve got those gas lamps in the emergency room.”
For the moment it was all quite convincing. He hadn’t gone to bed till the ship’s speed was well past the velocity of light. Everybody had been curious about what would happen at that tremendous milepost—whether the Lorenz-Fitzgerald contraction theory was substance or appearance.
Nothing had happened. The test ship simply forged ahead, accelerating each second, and, just before he retired, they had estimated the speed at nearly two hundred thousand miles per second.
The complacent mood ended. He said sharply, “Did you say Compton sent you?”
Compton was chief engineer, and he was definitely not one to give way to panics of any description. Harcourt frowned. “What does Compton think?”
“Neither he nor I can understand it; and when we lost sight of the sun he thought you’d better be—”
“When you what?”
Gunther’s laugh broke humorlessly through the darkness.
“Harcourt, the damned thing is so unbelievable that when Compton called me on the communicator just now he spent half the time talking to himself like an old woman of the gutter. Only he, O’Day and I know the worst yet.
“Harcourt, we’ve figured out that we’re approximately five hundred thousand light-years from Earth—and that the chance of our ever finding our sun in that swirl of suns makes searching for needles in haystacks a form of child’s play.
“We’re lost as no human being has ever been.”
…
In the utter darkness beside the bank of telescope eyepieces Harcourt waited and watched. Though he could not see them, he was tautly aware of the grim men who sat so quietly, peering into the night of space ahead—at the remote point of light out there that never varied a hairbreadth in its position on the crossed wires of the eyepieces.
The silence was complete, and yet—
The very presence of these able men was a living, vibrating force to him who had known them intimately for so many years. The beat of their thought, the shifting of space-toughened muscles, was a sound that distorted rather than disturbed the hard tensity of the silence.
The silence shattered as Gunther spoke matter-of-factly: “There’s no doubt about it, of course. We’re going to pass through the star system ahead. An ordinary sun, I should say, a little colder than our own, but possibly half again as large, and about thirty thousand parsecs distant.”
“Go away with you,” came the gruff voice of physicist O’Day. “You can’t tell how far away it is. Where’s your triangle?”
“I don’t need any such tricks,” retorted Gunther heatedly. “I just use my God-given intelligence. You watch. We’ll be able to verify our speed when we pass through the system; and velocity multiplied by time elapsed will—”
Harcourt interjected gently, “So far as we know, Gunther, Compton hasn’t any lights yet. If he hasn’t, we won’t be able to look at our watches, so we won’t know the time elapsed; so you can’t prove anything. What is your method, if it isn’t triangulation—and it can’t be. We’re open to conviction.”
Gunther said, “It’s plain common sense. Notice the cross lines on your eyepieces. The lines intersect on the point of light—and there’s not a fraction of variation or blur.
“These lenses have tested perfect according to the latest standards, but observatory astronomers back home have found that beyond one hundred fifty thousand light-years there is the beginning of distortion. Therefore I could have said a minute or so ago that we were within one hundred and fifty thousand light-years of that sun.
“But there’s more. When I first looked into the eyepiece—before I called you, Captain—the distortion was there. I’m pretty good at estimating time, and I should say it required about twelve minutes for me to get you and fumble my way back in here.
When I looked then the distortion was gone. There’s an automatic device in my eyepiece for measuring degree of distortion. When I first looked, the distortion was .005, roughly equivalent to twenty-five thousand light-years. There’s another point—”
“You needn’t go on,” Harcourt interjected quietly. “You’ve proved your case.”
O’Day groaned. “That’ll be maybe twenty-four thousand light-years in twelve minutes. Two thousand a minute; that’ll be thirty light-years a second. And we’ve been sittin’ here maybe more’n twenty-five minutes since you an’ Harcourt came back. That’ll be another fifty thousand light-years, or thirty thousand parsecs between us an’ the star. You’re a good man, Gunther. But how will we ever identify the blamed thing when we come back? It would be makin’ such a fine gunsight for the return trip if we could maybe get another sight farther on, when we finally stop this runaway or—”
Harcourt cut him off grimly. “There’s just one point that you two gentlemen have neglected to take into account. It’s true we must try to stop the ship—Compton’s men are working at the engines now. But everything else is only preliminary to our main task of thinking our way back to Earth.
We shall probably find it necessary, if we live, to change our entire conception of space.
“I said—if we live! What you scientists in your zeal failed to notice was that the most delicate instruments ever invented by man, the cross-lines of this telescope, intersect directly on the approaching sun. They haven’t changed for more than thirty minutes, so we must assume the sun is following a course in space directly toward us, or away from us.
“As it is, we’re going to run squarely into a ball of fire a million miles plus in diameter. I leave the rest to your imaginations.”
The discussion that blurred on then had an unreal quality for Harcourt. The only reality was the blackness, and the great ship plunging madly down a vast pit toward its dreadful doom.
It seemed down, a diving into incredible depths at an insane velocity—and against that cosmic discordance, the voices of the men sounded queer and meaningless, intellectually, violently alive, but the effect was as of small birds fluttering furiously against the wire mesh of a trap that has sprung remorselessly around them.
“Time,” Gunther was saying, “is the only basic force. Time creates space instant by instant, and—”
“Will you be shuttin’ up,” O’Day interrupted scathingly. “You’ve had the solving of the problem of our speed, a practical job for an astronomer and navigation officer. But this’ll be different. Me bein’ the chief of the physicists aboard, I—”
“Omit the preamble!” Harcourt cut in dryly. “Our time is, to put it mildly, drastically limited.”
“Right!” O’Day’s voice came briskly out of the blackness. “Mind ya, I’m not up to offerin’ any final solutions, but here may be some answers:
“The speed of light is not, accordin’ to my present thought, one hundred eighty-six thousand three hundred miles per second. It’s more’n two hundred thousand, maybe fifty thousand more. In previous measurements, we’ve been forgettin’ the effect of the area of tensions that makes a big curve ’round any star system. We’ve known about those tensions, but never gave much thought to how much they might slow up light, the way water and glass does.
“That’s the only thing that’ll explain why nothin’ happened at the apparent speed of light, but plenty happened when we passed the real speed of light. Come to think on it, the real speed must be somethin’ less than two hundred fifty thousand, because we were goin’ slower’n that when the electric system blanked on us.”
“But man alive!” Gunther burst out before Harcourt could speak. “What at that point could have jumped our speed up to a billion times that of light?”
“When we have the solvin’ of that,” O’Day interjected grimly, “the entire universe’ll belong to us.”
“You’re wrong there,” Harcourt stated quietly. “If we solve that, we shall have the speed to go places, but there’s no conceivable science that will make it possible for us to plot a course to or from any destination beyond a few hundred light-years.
“Do not forget that our purpose, when we began this voyage, was to go to Alpha Centauri. From there we intended gradually to work out from star to star, setting up bases where possible, and slowly working out the complex problems involved.
“Theoretically, such a method of plotting space could have gone on indefinitely, though it was generally agreed that the complexity would increase out of all proportion to the extra distance involved.
“But enough of that.” His voice grew harder. “Has it occurred to either of you that even if by some miracle of wit we miss that sun, there is a possibility that this ship may plunge on forever through space at billions of times the velocity of light?
“I mean simply this: our speed jumped inconceivably when we crossed the point of light speed. But that point is now behind us. And there is no similar point ahead that we can cross. When we get our engines reversed, we face the prospect of decelerating at two gravities or a bit more for several thousand years.”
“All this is aside from the fact that, at our present distance from Earth, there is nothing known that will help us find our way back. “I’ll leave these thoughts with you. I’m going to grope my way down to Compton—our last hope!”
There was blazing light in the engine room—a string of gasoline lamps shed the blue-white intensity of their glare onto several score men. Half of the men were taking turns, a dozen at a time, in the simple task of straining at a giant wheel whose shaft disappeared at one end into the bank of monstrous drive tubes. At the other end the wheel was attached to a useless electric motor.
The wheel moved so sluggishly before the combined strength of the workers that Harcourt thought, appalled,
Good heavens, at that rate, it’ll take a day—and we’ve got forty minutes at utmost.
He saw that the other men were putting together a steam engine from parts ripped out of great packing cases. He felt better. The engine would take the place of the electric motor and—
“It’ll take half an hour!” roared a bull-like voice to one side of him. As he turned, Compton bellowed, “And don’t waste time telling me any stories about running into stars. I’ve been listening in to you fellows on this wall communicator.”
Harcourt was conscious of a start of surprise as he saw that the chief engineer was lying on the steel floor, his head propped on a curving metal projection. His heavy face looked strangely white, and when he spoke it was from clenched teeth:
“Couldn’t spare anyone to send you up some light. We’ve got a single, straightforward job down here: to stop those drivers.” He finished ironically: “When we’ve done that we’ll have about fifteen minutes to figure out what good it will do us.”
The mighty man winced as he finished speaking. For the first time Harcourt saw the bandage on his right hand. He said sharply, “You’re hurt!”
“Remind me,” replied Compton grimly, “when we get back to Earth to sock the departmental genius who put an electric lock on the door of the emergency room. I don’t know how long it took to chisel into it, but my finger got lost somewhere in the shuffle.
“It’s all right,” he added swiftly. “I’ve just now taken a ’1ocal.’ It’ll start working in half a minute and we can talk.”
Harcourt nodded stiffly. He knew the fantastic courage and endurance that trained men could show. He said casually: “How would you like some technicians, mathematicians and other such to come down here and relieve your men? There’s a whole corridor full of them out there.”
“Nope!” Compton shook his leonine head. Color was coming into his cheeks, and his voice had a clearer, less strained note as he continued: “These war horses of mine are experts. Just imagine a biologist taking a three-minute shift at putting that steam engine together. Or heaving at that big wheel without ever having been trained to synchronize his muscles to the art of pushing in unity with other men.
“But forget about that. We’ve got a practical problem ahead of us; and before we die I’d like to know what we should have done and could have done. Suppose we get the steam engine running in time—which is not certain; that’s why I put those men on the wheel even before we had light. Anyway, suppose we do, where would we be?”
“Acceleration would stop,” said Harcourt. “But our speed would be constant at something over thirty light-years per second.”
“That’s too hard to strike a sun!” Compton spoke seriously, eyes half closed. He looked up. “Or is it?”
“What do you mean?”
“Simply this: this sun is about twelve hundred thousand miles in diameter. If it were at all gaseous in structure, we could he through so fast its heat would never touch us.”
“Gunther says the star is somewhat colder than our own. That suggests greater density.”
“In that case”—Compton was almost cheerful—“at our speed, and with the hard steel of our ship, we could conceivably pass through a steel plate a couple of million miles in thickness. It’s a problem in fire power for a couple of ex-military men.”
“I’ll leave the problem for your old age,” Harcourt said. “Your attitude suggests that you see no solutions to the situation presented by the star.”
Compton stared at him for a moment, unsmiling; then, “Okay, Chief, I’ll cut out the kidding. You’re right about the star. It took fifty hours to get up to two hundred forty thousand miles per second. Then we crossed some invisible line, and for the past few hours we’ve been plumping along at, as you say, thirty miles a second.
“All right, then, say fifty-three hours that it took us to get here. Even if we eliminate that horrible idea you spawned, about it taking us thousands of years to decelerate, there still remains the certainty that—with the best of luck, that is—with simply a reversal of the conditions that brought us here, it would require not less than fifty-three hours to stop.
“Figure it out for yourself. We might as well play marbles.”
They called Gunther and O’Day. “And bring some liquor t down!” Compton roared through the communicator.
“Wait!” Harcourt prevented him from breaking the connection. He spoke quietly: “Is that you, Gunther?”
“Yep!” the navigation officer responded.
“The star’s still dead on?”
“Deader!” said the ungrammatical Gunther.
Harcourt hesitated; this was the biggest decision he had ever faced in his ten violent years as a commander of a spaceship. His face was stiff as he said finally, huskily:
“All right, then, come down here, but don’t tell anyone else what’s up. They could take it—but what’s the use? Come to Compton’s office.”
He saw that the chief engineer was staring at him strangely. Compton said at last, “So we really give up the ship?”
Harcourt gazed back at him coldly. “Remember, I’m only the coordinator around here. I’m supposed to know something of everything—but when experts tell me there’s no hope, barring miracles, naturally I refuse to run around like an animal with a blind will to live.
“Your men are slaving to get the steam engine running; two pounds of U-235 are doing their bit to heat up the steam boiler. When it’s all ready, we’ll do what we can. Is that clear?”
Compton grinned, but there was silence between them until the other men arrived. O’Day greeted them gloomily.
“There’s a couple of good friends of mine up there whom I’d like to have here now. But what the hell! Let ’em die in peace, says Harcourt; and right he is.”
Gunther poured the dark, glowing liquid, and Harcourt watched the glasses tilt, finally raised his own. He wondered if the others found the stuff as smooth and tasteless as he did. He lowered his glass and said softly:
“Atomic power! So this is the end of man’s first interstellar flight.
There’ll be others, of course, and the law of averages will protect them from running into suns; and they’ll get their steam engines going, and their drives reversed; and if this process does reverse itself, then within a given time they’ll stop—and then they’ll be where we thought we were: facing the problem of finding their way back to Earth. It looks to me as if man is stymied by the sheer vastness of the universe.”
“Don’t be such a damned pessimist!” said Compton, his face flushed from his second glass “I’ll wager they’ll have the drivers of the third test ship reversed within ten minutes of crossing that light speed deadline. That means they’ll only be a few thousand light-years from Earth. Taking it in little jumps like that, they’ll never get lost.”
Harcourt saw O’Day look up from his glass; the physicist’s lips parted—and Harcourt allowed his own words to remain unspoken. O’Day said soberly:
“I’m thinkin’ we’ve been puttin’ too much blame on speed and speed alone in this thing. Sure there’s no magic about the speed of light. I didn’t ever see that before, but it’s there plain now. The speed of light depends on the properties of light, and that goes for electricity and radio an’ all those related waves.
“Let’s be keepin’ that in mind. Light an’ such react on space, an’ are held down by nothin’ but their own limitations. An’ there’s only one new thing we’ve got that could’ve put us out here, beyond the speed of light; an’ that’s—”
“Atomic energy!” It was Compton, his normally strong voice amazingly low and tense. “O’Day, you’re a genius. Light lacks the energy attributes necessary to break the bonds that hold it leashed. But atomic energy—the reaction of atomic energy on the fabric of space itself—”
Gunther broke in eagerly: “There must be rigid laws. For decades men dreamed of atomic energy, and finally it came, differently than they expected. For centuries after the first spaceship roared crudely to the moon, there has been the dream of the inertia-less drive; and here, somewhat differently than we pictured it, is that dream come alive.”
There was brief silence, Then, once again before Harcourt could speak, there was an interruption. The door burst open—a man poked his head around the corner.
“Steam engine’s ready! Shall we start her up?”
There was a gasp from every man in that room—except Harcourt. He leaped erect before the heavier Compton could more than shuffle his feet; he snapped: “Sit down, Compton!”
His gray gaze flicked with flame-like intensity from face to face. His lean body was taut as stone as /he said, “No, the steam engine does not go on!”
He glanced steadily but swiftly at his wrist watch. He said, “According to Gunther’s calculations, we’re still twenty minutes from the star. During seventeen of those minutes we’re going to sit here and prepare a logical plan for using the forces we have available.”
Turning to the mechanic, he finished quietly: “Tell the boys to relax, Blake.”
The men were staring at him; and it was odd to notice that each of the three had become abnormally stiff in posture, their eyes narrowed to pinpoints, hands clenched, cheeks pale. It was not as if they had not been tense a minute before. But now—”
By comparison, their condition then seemed as if it could have been nothing less than easygoing resignation.
For a long moment the silence in the cozy little room, with its library, its chairs and shining oak desk and metal cabinets, was complete. Finally Compton laughed, a curt, tense, humor-less laugh that showed the enormousness of the strain he was under. Even Harcourt jumped at that hard, ugly, explosive jolt of laughter.
“You false alarm!” said Compton. “So you gave up the ship, eh?“
“My problem,” Harcourt said coolly, “was this: we needed original thinking. And new ideas are never born under ultimate strain. In the last twenty minutes, when we seemed to have given up, your minds actually relaxed to a very great extent.
“And the idea came! It may be worthless, but it’s what we’ve got to work on. There’s no time to look further.
“And now, with O’Day’s idea, we’re back to the strain of hope. I need hardly tell you that, once an idea exists, trained men can develop it immeasurably faster under pressure.”
Once more his gaze flicked from face to face. Color was coming back to their faces; they were recovering from the tremendous shock. He finished swiftly: “One more thing: you may have wondered why I didn’t invite the others into this. Reason: twenty men only confuse an issue in twenty minutes. It’s we four here, or death for all. Gunther, regardless of the time it will take, we must have recapitulation, a clarification—quick!”
Gunther began roughly: “All right. We crossed the point of light speed. Several things happened: our velocity jumped to a billion or so times that of light. Our electric system went on the blink—there’s something to explain.”
“Go on!” urged Harcourt. “Twelve minutes left!”
“Our new speed is due to the reaction of atomic energy on the fabric of space. This reaction did not begin till we had crossed the point of light speed, indicating some connection, possibly a natural, restraining influence of the world of matter and energy as we knew it, on this vaster, potentially cataclysmic force.”
“Eleven minutes!” said Harcourt coldly.
Greater streams of sweat were pouring down Gunther’s dark face. He finished jerkily: “Apparently our acceleration continued at two gravities. Our problems are: to stop the ship immediately and to find our way back to Earth.”
He slumped back in his chair like a man who has suddenly become deathly sick. Harcourt snapped: “Compton, what happened to the electricity?”
“The batteries drained of power in about three minutes!” the big man rumbled hoarsely. “That happens to be approximately the theoretically minimum time, given an ultimate demand, and opposed only by the cable resistance. Somewhere it must have jumped to an easy conductor—but where did it go? Don’t ask me!”
“I’m thinkin’,” said O’Day, his voice strangely flat, “I’m thinkin’ it went home.
“Wait!” The flat, steely twang of the word silenced both Harcourt and the astounded Compton. “Time for talkin’ is over. Harcourt, you’ll be enforcin’ my orders.”
“Give them!” barked the captain. His body felt like a cake of ice, his brain like a red-hot poker.
O’Day turned to Compton. “Now get this, you blasted engineer: turn off them drivers ninety-five percent! One inch farther and I’l1 blow your brains out!”
“How the devil am I going to know what the percent is?” Compton said freezingly. “Those are engines, not delicately adjusted laboratory instruments. Why not shut them off all the way?”
“You damned idiot!” O’Day shouted furiously. “That’ll cut us off out here an’ we’ll be lost forever. Get movin’”
Beet-like flame thickened along Compton’s bull neck. The two men glared at each other like two animals out of a cage, where they have been tortured, ready to destroy each other in distorted revenge.
“Compton!” said Harcourt, and he was amazed at the way his voice quavered. “Seven minutes!”
Without a word, the chief engineer flung about, jerked open the door and plunged out of sight. He was bellowing some gibberish at his men, but Harcourt couldn’t make out a single sentence.
“There’ll be a point,” O’Day was mumbling beside him, “there’ll be a point where the reaction’ll be minimum—but still there—and we’ll have everything—but let’s get out into the engine room before that scoundrel Compton—”
His voice trailed off. He would have stood there blankly if Harcourt hadn’t taken him gently and shoved his unsteady form through the door.
The steam engine was hissing with soft power. As Harcourt watched, Compton threw the clutch. The shining piston rod jerked into life, shuddered as it took the terrific load; and then the great wheel began to move.
For hours, men had sweated and strained in relays to make that wheel turn. Each turn, Harcourt knew, widened by a microscopic fraction of an inch the space separating the hard energy blocks in each drive tube, where the fury of atomic power was born. Each fraction of widening broke that fury by an infinitesimal degree.
The wheel spun sluggishly, ten revolutions a minute, twenty, thirty—a hundred—and that was top speed for that wheel with that power to drive it.
The seconds fled like sleet before a driving wind. The engine puffed and labored, and clacked in joints that had not been sufficiently tightened during the rush job of putting it together. It was the only sound in that great domed room.
Harcourt glanced at his watch. Four minutes. He smiled bleakly. Actually, of course, Gunther’s estimate might be out many minutes. Actually, any second could bring the intolerable pain of instantaneous, flaming death.
He made no attempt to pass on the knowledge of the time limit. Already he had driven these men to the danger point of human sanity. The violence of their rages a few minutes before were red-flare indicators of abnormal mental abysses ahead. There was nothing to do now but wait.
Almost pettishly, he pulled the clutch free—and the wheel stopped. There was no momentum. It just stopped.
“Keep jerkin’ it in an’ out now!” O’Day commanded. “An’ stop when I tell ya!” The point of reaction must be close.”
In, out; in, out. It was hard on the engine. The machine labored with a noisy, shuddering clamor. It was harder on the men. They stood like figures of stone. Harcourt glanced stiffly at his watch.
Two minutes!
In, out; in out; in—went the clutch, rhythmically now. Somewhere there was a point where atomic energy would cease to create a full tension in space, but there would still be connection. That much of O’Day’s words were clear. And—
Abruptly the ship staggered, as if it had been struck. It was not a physical blow, for they were not sent reeling off their feet. But Harcourt, who knew the effect of titanic energies, waited for the first shock of inconceivable heat to sear him. Instead—
“Now!” came the shrill beat of O’Day’s voice.
Out jerked the clutch in its rhythmical backward and forward movement. The great space liner poised for the space of a heartbeat. The thought came to Harcourt:
Good heavens, we can’t have stopped completely. There must be momentum!
In went that rhythmically manipulated clutch. The ship reeled; and Compton turned. His eyes were glassy, his face twisted with sudden pain.
“Huh!” he said. “What did you say, O’Day? I bumped my finger and—”
“You be-damned idiot!” O’Day almost whispered. “You—”
His words twisted queerly into meaningless sounds. And, for Harcourt a strange blur settled over the scene.
He had the fantastic impression that Compton had returned to his automatic manipulation of the clutch; and, insanely, the wheel and the steam engine had reversed.
A period of almost blank confusion passed; and then, incredibly, he was walking backward into Compton’s office, leading an unsteady, backward-walking O’Day.
Suddenly there were Compton, Gunther, O’Day and himself sitting around the desk; and senseless words chattered from their lips.
They lifted glasses to their mouths; and, horribly, the liquor flowed from their lips and filled the glasses.
Then he was walking backward again; and there was Compton lying on the engine-room floor, nursing his shattered finger—and then he was back in the dark navigation room, peering through a telescope eyepiece at a remote star.
The jumble of voice sounds came again and again through the blur—finally he lay asleep in bed.
Asleep? Some part of his brain was awake, untouched by this incredible reversal of physical and mental actions. And as he lay there, slow thoughts came to that aloof, watchful part of his mind. The electricity had, of course, gone home. Literally. And so were they going home. Just how far the madness would carry on, whether it would end at the point of light speed, only time would tell, And obviously, when flights like this were everyday occurrences, passengers and crew would spend the entire journey in bed.
Everything reversed. Atomic energy had created an initial tension in space, and somehow space demanded an inexorable recompense. Action and reaction were equal and opposite. Something was transmitted, and then an exact balance was made. O’Day had quite evidently thought that at the point of change, of reaction, an artificial stability could be created, enabling the ship to remain indefinitely at its remote destination and—
Blackness surged over his thought. He opened his eyes with a start. Somewhere in the back of his brain was a conviction of something wrong. He couldn’t quite place the discordant factor, but it quivered there on the verge of his brain, an alien thing that shattered for him the security of the spaceship.
He strained his senses against the blackness—and abruptly grew aware of the intensity of that dark. That was it! The darkness! The indirect night light must have gone off.
Odd that the light system should have gone on the blink on this first “night” of this first trip of the first spaceship powered by the new, stupendous atomic drive.
Footsteps whispered hesitantly along the corridor. There was a knock, and the voice of Gunther came, strained and muffled. The man entered; and his breathing was a thick, satisfying sound that destroyed the last vestige of the hard silence. Gunther said:
“Harcourt, the damnedest thing has happened. It started when everything electrical went out of order. Compton says we’ve been accelerating for two hours now at heaven only knows what rate.”
For the multi-billionth time, as it had for uncountable years, the inescapable cosmic farce began to rewind, like a film held over!
The End
Stories that Inspired Me
Here are
reprints in full text of stories that inspired me, but that are nearly
impossible to find in China. I place them here as sort of a personal
library that I can use for inspiration. The reader is welcome to come
and enjoy a read or two as well.
Articles & Links
You’ll not
find any big banners or popups here talking about cookies and privacy
notices. There are no ads on this site (aside from the hosting ads – a
necessary evil). Functionally and fundamentally, I just don’t make money
off of this blog. It is NOT monetized. Finally, I don’t track you
because I just don’t care to.
One of my all time favorite science fiction authors is the duo that wrote under the name Lewis Padgett. Here is one of their greatest stories. Please enjoy.
Time Locker
by
Lewis Padgett
GALLOWAY PLAYED by ear, which would ha~e been all right had he been a musician—but he was a scientist. A drunken and erratic one, but good. He’d wanted to be an experimental technician, and would have been excellent at it, for he had a streak of genius at times. Unfortunately, there had been no funds for such specialized education, and now Galloway, by profession an integrator machine supervisor, maintained his laboratory purely as a hobby. It was the damndest-looking lab in six states. Galloway had spent ten months building what he called a liquor organ, which occupied most of the space. He could recline on a comfortably padded couch and, by manipulating buttons, siphon drinks of marvelous quantity, quality, and variety down his scarified throat. Since he had made the liquor organ during a protracted period of drunkenness, he never remembered the basic principles of its construction. In a way, that was a pity.
There was a little of everything in the lab, much of it incongruous. Rheostats had little skirts on them, like ballet dancers, and vacuously grinning faces of clay. A generator was conspicuously labeled, “Monstro,” and a much smaller one rejoiced in the name of “Bubbles.” Inside a glass retort was a china rabbit, and Galloway alone knew how it had got there. Just inside the door was a hideous iron dog, originally intended for Victorian lawns or perhaps for Hell, and its hollowed ears served as sockets for test tubes.
“But how do you do it?” Vanning asked.
Galloway, his lank form reclining under the liquor organ, siphoned a shot of double Martini into his mouth. “Huh?”
“You heard me. I could get you a swell job if you’d use that screwball brain of yours. Or even learn to put up a front.”
“Tried it,” Galloway mumbled. “No use. I can’t work when I concentrate, except at mechanical stuff. I think my subconscious must have a high I.Q.”
Vanning, a chunky little man with a scarred, swarthy face, kicked his heels against Monstro. Sometimes Galloway annoyed him. The man never realized his own potentialities, or how much they might mean to Horace Vanning, Commerce Analyst. The “commerce,” of course, was extra-legal, but the complicated trade relationships of 1970 left many loopholes a clever man could slip through. The fact of the matter was, Vanning acted in an advisory capacity to crooks. It paid well. A sound knowledge of jurisprudence was rare in these days; the statutes were in such a tangle that it took years of research before one could even enter a law school. But Vanning had a staff of trained experts, a colossal library of transcripts, decisions, and legal data, and, for a suitable fee, he could have told Dr. Crippen how to get off scot-free.
The shadier side of his business was handled in strict privacy, without assistants. The matter of the neuro-gun, for example— Galloway had made that remarkable weapon, quite without realizing its importance. He had hashed it together one evening, piecing out the job with court plaster when his welder went on the fritz. And he’d given it to Vanning, on request. Vanning didn’t keep it long. But already he had earned thousands of credits by lending the gun to potential murderers. As a result, the police department had a violent headache.
A man in the know would come to Vanning and say, “I heard you can beat a murder rap. Suppose I wanted to—”
‘~‘Hold on! I can’t condone anything like that.”
“Huh? But—”
“Theoretically, I suppose a perfect murder might be possible. Suppose a new sort of gun had been invented, and suppose—just for
the sake of an example—it was in a locker at the Newark Stratoship Field.”
“Huh?”
“I’m just theorizing. Locker Number 7~, combination thirty-blueeight. These little details always help one to visualize a theory, don’t they?”
“You mean—”
“Of course if our murderer picked up this imaginary gun and used it, he’d be smart enough to have a postal box ready, addressed to.
say .. . Locker 40, Brooklyn Port. He could slip the weapon into the box, seal it, and get rid of the evidence at the nearest mail conveyor. But that’s all theorizing. Sorry I can’t help you. The fee for an interview is three thousand credits. The receptionist will take your check.”
Later, conviction would be impossible. Ruling 87-M, Illinois Precinct, case of State vs. Dupson, set the precedent. Cause of death must be determined. Element of accident must be considered. As Chief Justice Duckett had ruled during the trial of Sanderson vs. Sanderson, which involved the death of the accused’s mother-in-law— Surely the prosecuting attorney, with his staff of toxicological experts, must realize that— And in short, your honor, I must respectfully request that the case be dismissed for lack of evidence and proof of cams mortis— Galloway never even found out that his neuro-gun ‘was a dangerous weapon. But Vanning haunted the sloppy laboratory, avidly watching the results of his friends’ scientific doodling. More than once he had acquired handy little devices in just this fashion. The trouble was, Galloway wouldn’t work!
He took another sip of Martini, shook his head, and unfolded his lanky limbs. Blinking, he ambled over to a cluttered workbench and began toying with lengths of wire.
“Making something?”
“Dunno. Just fiddling. That’s the way it goes. I put things together, and sometimes they work. Trouble is, I never know exactly what they’re going to do. Tsk!” Galloway dropped the wires and returned to his couch. “Hell with it.”
He was, Vanning reflected, an odd duck. Galloway was essentially amoral, thoroughly out of place in this too-complicated world. He seemed to watch, with a certain wry amusement, from a vantage point of his own, rather disinterested for the most part. And he made things—
But always and only for his own amusement. Vanning sighed and glanced around the laboratory, his orderly soul shocked by the melee. Automatically he picked up a rumpled smock from the floor, and looked for a hook. Of course there was none. Galloway, running short of conductive metal, had long since ripped them out and used them in some gadget or other.
The so-called scientist was creating a zombie, his eyes half closed. Vanning went over to a metal locker in one corner and opened the door. There were no hooks, but he folded the smock neatly and laid it on the floor of the locker.
Then he went back to his perch on Monstro.
“Have a drink?” Galloway asked.
Vanning shook his head. “Thanks, no. I’ve got a case coming up tomorrow.”
“There’s always thiamin. Filthy stuff. I work better when I’ve got pneumatic cushions around my brain.”
“Well, I don’t.”
“It is purely a matter of skill,” Galloway hummed, “to which each may attain if he wili. . . . What are you gaping at?”
“That—locker,” Vanning said, frowning in a baffled way. “What the—” He got up. The metal door hadn’t been securely latched and had swung open. Of the smock Vanning had placed within the metal compartment there was no trace.
“It’s the paint,” Galloway explained sleepily. “Or the treatment. I bombarded it with gamma rays. But it isn’t good for anything.”
Vanning went over and swung a fluorescent into a more convenient position. The locker wasn’t empty, as he had at first imagined. The smock was no longer there, but instead there was a tiny blob of—something, pale-green and roughly spherical.
“It melts things?” Vanning asked, staring. “Uh-huh. Pull it out. You’ll see.”
Vanning felt hesitant about putting his hand inside the locker. Instead, he found a long pair of test-tube clamps and teased the blob out. It was— Vanning hastily looked away. His eyes hurt. The green blob was changing in color, shape and size. A crawling, nongeometrical blur of motion rippled over it. Suddenly the clamps were remarkably heavy.
No wonder. They were gripping the original smock.
“It does that, you know,” Galloway said absently. “Must be a reason, too. I put things in the locker and they get small. Take ‘em out, and they get big again. I suppose I could sell it to a stage magician.” His voice sounded doubtful.
Vanning sat down, fingering the smock and staring at the metal locker. It was a cube, approximately 3 X 3 X 5, lined with what seemed to be grayish paint, sprayed on. Outside, it was shiny black.
“How’d you do it?”
“Huh? I dunno. Just fiddling around.” Galloway sipped his zombie. “Maybe it’s a matter of dimensional extension. My treatment may have altered the spatio-temporal relationships inside the locker. I wonder what that means?” he murmured in a vague aside. “Words frighten me sometimes.”
Vanning was thinking about tesseracts. “You mean it’s bigger inside than it is outside?”
“A paradox, a paradox, a most delightful paradox. You tell me. I suppose the inside of the locker isn’t in this space-time continuum at all. Here, shove that bench in it. You’ll see.” Galloway made no move to rise; he waved toward the article of furniture in question.
“You’re right. That bench is bigger than the locker.”
“So it is. Shove it in a bit at a time. That corner first. Go ahead.”
Vanning wrestled with the bench. Despite his shortness, he was stockily muscular.
“Lay the locker on its back. It’ll be easier.”
“I. . . uh!.. . 0. K. Now what?”
“Edge the bench down into it.”
Vanning squinted at his companion, shrugged, and tried to obey. Of course the bench wouldn’t go into the locker. One corner did, that was all. Then, naturally, the bench stopped, balancing precariously at an angle.
“Well?”
“Wait.”
The bench moved. It settled slowly downward. As Vanning’s jaw dropped, the bench seemed to crawl into the locker, with the gentle motion of a not-too-heavy object sinking through water. It wasn’t sucked down. It melted down. The portion still outside the locker was unchanged. But that, too, settled, and was gone.
Vanning craned forward. A blur of movement hurt his eyes. Inside the locker was—something. It shifted its contours, shrank, and became a spiky sort of scalene pyramid, deep-purple in hue.
It seemed to be less than four inches across at its widest point.
“I don’t believe it,” Vanning said.
Galloway grinned. “As the Duke of Wellington remarked to the subaltern, it was a demned small bottle, sir.”
“Now, wait a minute. How the devil could I put an eight-foot bench inside of a five-foot locker?”
“Because of Newton,” Galloway said. “Gravity. Go fill a test tube with water and I’ll show you.”
“Wait a minute . . . 0. K. Now what?”
“Got it brim-full? Good. You’ll find some sugar cubes in that drawer labeled ‘Fuses.’ Lay a cube on top of the test tube, one corner down so it touches the water.”
Vanning racked the tube and obeyed. “Well?”
“What do you see?”
“Nothing. The sugar’s getting wet. And melting.”
“So there you are,” Galloway said expansively. Vanning gave him a brooding look and turned back to the tube. The cube of sugar was slowly dissolving and melting down.
Presently it was gone.
“Air and water are different physical conditions. In air a sugar cube can exist as a sugar cube. In water it exists in solution. The corner of it extending into water is subject to aqueous conditions. So it alters physically, though not chemically. Gravity does the rest.”
“Make it clearer.”
“The analogy’s clear enough, dope. The water represents the particular condition existing inside that locker. The sugar cube represents the workbench. Now! The sugar soaked up the water and gradually dissolved it, so gravity could pull the cube down into the tube as it melted. See?”
“I think so. The bench soaked up the. . . the x condition inside the locker, eh? A condition that shrank the bench—”
“In partis, not in toto. A little at a time. You can shove a human body into a small container of sulphuric acid, bit by bit.”
“Oh,” Vanning said, regarding the cabinet askance. “Can you get the bench out again?”
“Do it yourself. Just reach in and pull it out.”
“Reach in? I don’t want my hand to melt!”
“It won’t. The action isn’t instantaneous. You saw that yourself. It takes a few minutes for the change to take place. You can reach into the locker without any ill effects, if you don’t leave your hand exposed to the conditions for more than a minute or so. I’ll show you.” Galloway languidly arose, looked around, and picked up an empty demijohn. He dropped this into the locker.
The change wasn’t immediate. It occurred slowly, the demijohn altering its shape and size till it was a distorted cube the apparent size of a cube of sugar. Galloway reached down and brought it up again, placing the cube on the floor.
It grew. It was a demijohn again.
“Now the bench. Look out.”
Galloway rescued the little pyramid. Presently it became the original workbench.
“You see? I’ll bet a storage company would like this. You could probably pack all the furniture in Brooklyn in here, but there’d be trouble in getting what you wanted out again. The physical change, you know—”
“Keep a chart,” Vanning suggested absently. “Draw a picture of how the thing looks inside the locker, and note down what it was.”
“The legal brain,” Galloway said. “I want a drink.” He returned to his couch and clutched the siphon in a grip of death.
“I’ll give you six credits for the thing,” Vanning offered.
“Sold. It takes up too much room anyway. Wish I could put it inside itself.” The scientist chuckled immoderately. “That’s very funny.”
“Is it?” Vanning said. “Well, here you are.” He took credit coupons from his wallet. “WThere’ll I put the dough?”
“Stuff it into Monstro. He’s my bank. . . . Thanks.”
“Yeah. Say, elucidate this sugar business a bit,will you? It isn’t just gravity that affects the cube so it slips into a test tube. Doesn’t the water soak up into the sugar—”
“You’re right at that. Osmosis. No, I’m wrong. Osmosis has something to do with eggs. Or is that ovulation? Conduction, convection
—absorption! Wish I’d studied physics; then I’d know the right words. Just a zoot stoop, that’s me. I shall take the daughter of the Vine to spouse,” Galloway finished incoherently and sucked at the siphon.
“Absorption,” Vanning scowled. “Only not water, being soaked up by the sugar. The . . . the conditions existing inside the locker, being soaked up by your workbench—in that particular case.
“Like a sponge or a blotter.”
“The bench?”
“Me,” Galloway said succinctly, and relapsed into a happy silence, broken by occasional gurgles as he poured liquor down his scarified gullet. Vanning sighed and turned to the locker. He carefully closed and latched the door before lifting the metal cabinet in his muscular arms.
“Going? G’night. Fare thee well, fare thee well—”
“Night.”
“Fare—thee—well!” Galloway ended, in a melancholy outburst of tunefulness, as he turned over preparatory to going to sleep.
Vanning sighed again and let himself out into the coolness of the night. Stars blazed in the sky, except toward the south, where the aurora of Lower Manhattan dimmed them. The glowing white towers of skyscrapers rose in a jagged pattern. A sky-ad announced the virtues of Vambulin—”It Peps You Up.”
His speeder was at the curb. Vanning edged the locker into the trunk compartment and drove toward the Hudson Floataway, the quickest route downtown. He was thinking about Poe.
The Purloined Letter, which had been hidden in plain sight, but re-folded and re-addressed, so that its superficial appearance was changed. Holy Hutton! What a perfect safe the locker would make! No thief could crack it, for the obvious reason that it wouldn’t be locked. No thief would want to clean it out. Vanning could fill the locker with credit coupons and instantly they’d become unrecognizable. It was the ideal cache.
How the devil did it work?
There was little use in asking Galloway. He played by ear. A primrose by the river’s rim a simple primrose was to him—not Prim ula vulgaris.
Syllogisms were unknown to him. He reached the conclusion without the aid of either major or minor premises.
Vanning pondered. Two objects cannot occupy the same space at the same time. Ergo, there was a different sort of space in the locker— But Vanning was pumping at conclusions. There was another answer—the right one. He hadn’t guessed it yet.
Instead, he tooled the speeder downtown to the office building where he maintained a floor, and brought the locker upstairs in the freight lift. He didn’t put it in his private office; that would have been too obvious. He placed the metal cabinet in one of the storerooms, sliding a file cabinet in front of it for partial concealment. It wouldn’t do to have the clerks using this particular locker.
Vanning stepped back and considered. Perhaps— A bell rang softly. Preoccupied, Vanning didn’t hear it at first.
When he did, he went back to his own office and pressed the acknowledgment button on the Winchell. The gray, harsh, bearded face of Counsel Hatton appeared, filling the screen.
“Hello,” Vanning said.
Hatton nodded. “I’ve been trying to reach you at your home. Thought I’d try the office—”
“I didn’t expect you to call now. The trial’s tomorrow. It’s a bit late for discussion, isn’t it?”
“Dugan & Sons wanted me to speak to you. I advised against it.”
“Oh?”
Hatton’s thick gray brows drew together. “I’m prosecuting, you know. There’s plenty of evidence against Macllson.”
“So you say. But peculation’s a difficult charge to prove.”
“Did you get an injunction against scop?”
“Naturally,” Vanning said. “You’re not using truth serum on my client!”
“That’ll prejudice the jury.”
“Not on medical grounds. Scop affects Macllson harmfully. I’ve got a covering prognosis.”
“Harmfully is right!” Hatton’s voice was sharp. “Your client embezaled those bonds, and I can prove it.”
“Twenty-five thousand in credits, it comes to, eh? That’s a lot for Dugan & Sons to lose. What about that hypothetical case I posed? Suppose twenty thousand were recovered—”
“Is this a private beam? No recordings?”
“Naturally. Here’s the cut-off.” Vanning held up a metal-tipped cord. “This is strictly sub rosa.”
“Good,” Counsel Hatton said. “Then I can ‘Call you a lousy shyster.”
“Tcli!”
“Your gag’s too old. It’s moth-eaten. Macllson swiped five grand in bonds, negotiable into credits. The auditors start checking up. MacIlson comes to you. You tell him to take twenty grand more, and offer to return that twenty if Dugan & Sons refuse to prosecute. Macllson splits with you on the five thousand, and on the plat standard, that ain’t hay.”
“I don’t admit to anything like that.”
“Naturally you don’t, not even on a closed beam. But it’s tacit. However, the gag’s moth-eaten, and my clients won’t play ball with you. They’re going to prosecute.”
“You called me up just to tell me that?”
“No, I want to settle the jury question. Will you agree to let ‘em use scop on the panel?”
“0. K.,” Vanning said. He wasn’t depending on a fixed jury tomorrow. His battle would be based on legal technicalities. With scop-tested talesmen, the odds would be even. And such an arrangement would save days or weeks of argument and challenge.
“Good,” Hatton grunted. “You’re going to get your pants licked off.”
Vanning replied with a mild obscenity and broke the connection. Reminded of the pending court fight, he forced the matter of the fourth-dimensional locker out of his mind and left the office. Later— Later would be time enough to investigate the possibilities of the remarkable cabinet more thoroughly. Just now, he didn’t want his brain cluttered with nonessentials. He went to his apartment, had the servant mix him a short highball, and dropped into bed.
And, the next day, Vanning won his case. He based it on complicated technicalities and obscure legal precedents. The crux of the matter was that the bonds had not been converted into government credits. Abstruse economic charts proved that point for Vanning. Conversion of even five thousand credits would have caused a fluctuation in the graph line, and no such break existed. Vanning’s experts went into monstrous detail.
In order to prove guilt, it would have been necessary to show, either actually or by inference, that the bonds had been in existence since last December 20th, the date of their most recent check-and-recording. The case of Donovan vs. Jones stood as a precedent.
Hatton jumped to his feet. “Jones later confessed to his defalcation, your honor!”
“Which does not affect the original decision,” Vanning said smoothly.
“Retroaction is not admissible here. The verdict was not proven.”
“Counsel for the defense will continue.”
Counsel for the defense continued, building up a beautifully intricate edifice of casuistic logic.
Hatton writhed. “Your honor! I—”
“If my learned opponent can produce one bond—just one of the bonds in question—I will concede the case.”
The presiding judge looked sardonic. “Indeed! If such a piece of evidence could be produced, the defendant would be jailed as fast as I could pronounce sentence. You know that very well, Mr. Vanfling. Proceed.”
“Very well. My contention, then, is that the bonds never existed. They were the result of a clerical error in notation.”
“A clerical error in a Pederson Calculator?”
“Such errors have occurred, as I shall prove. If I may call my next witness—”
Unchallenged,. the witness, a math technician, explained how a Pederson Calculator can go haywire. He cited cases.
Hatton caught him up on one point. “I protest this proof. Rhodesia, as everyone knows, is the location of a certain important experimental industry. Witness has refrained from stating the nature of the work performed in this particular Rhodesian factory. Is it not a fact that the Henderson United Company deals largely in radioactive ores?”
“Witness will answer.”
“I can’t. My records don’t include that information.”
“A significant omission,” Hatton snapped. “Radioactivity damages the intricate mechanism of a Pederson Calculator. There is no radium nor radium by-product in the offices of Dugan & Sons.”
Vanning stood up. “May I ask if those offices have been fumigated lately?”
“They have. It is legally required.”
“A type of chlorine gas was used.”
“Yes.”
“I wish to call my next witness.”
The next witness, a physicist and official in the Ultra Radium Institute, explained that gamma radiations affect chlorine strongly, causing ionization. Living organisms could assimilate by-products of radium and transmit them in turn. Certain clients of Dugan & Sons had been in contact with radioactivity— “This is ridiculous, your honor! Pure theorization—”
Vanning looked hurt. “I cite the case of Dangerfield vs. Austro Products, California, 1963. Ruling states that the uncertainy factor is prime admissible evidence. My point is simply that the Pederson Calculator which recorded the bonds could have been in error. If this be true, there were no bonds, and my client is guiltless.”
“Counsel will continue,” said the judge, wishing he were Jeffries so he could send the whole damned bunch to the scaffold. Jurisprudence should be founded on justice, and not be a three-dimensional chess game. But, of course, it was the natural development of the complicated political and economic factors of modern civilization. It was already evident that Vanning would win his case.
And he did. The jury was directed to find for the defendant. On a last, desperate hope, Hatton raised a point cirorder and demanded scop, but his petition was denied. Vanning winked at his opponent and closed his brief case.
That was that.
Vanning returned to his office. At four-thirty that afternoon trouble started to break. The secretary announced a Mr. Macllson, and was pushed aside by a thin, dark, middle-aged man lugging a gigantic suedette suitcase.
“Vanning! I’ve got to see you—”
The attorney’s eye hooded. He rose from behind his desk, dismissing the secretary with a jerk of his head. As the door closed, Vanning said brusquely, “What are you doing here? I told you to stay away from me. What’s in that bag?”
“The bonds,” Macllson explained, his voice unsteady. “Something’s gone wrong—”
“You crazy fool! Bringing the bonds here—” With a leap Vanning was at the door, locking it. “Don’t you realize that if Hatton gets his hands on that paper, you’ll be yanked back to jail? And I’ll be disbarred! Get ‘em out of here.”
“Listen a minute, will you? I took the bonds to Finance Unity, as you told me, but . . . but there was an officer there, waiting for me. I saw him just in time. If he’d caught me—”
Vanning took a deep breath. “You were supposed to leave the bonds in that subway locker for two months.”
Macllson pulled a news sheet from his pocket. “But the government’s declared a freeze on ore stocks and bonds. It’ll go into effect in a week. I couldn’t wait—the money would have been tied up indefinitely.”
“Let’s see that paper.” Vanning examined it and cursed softly. “Where’d you get this?”
“Bought it from a boy outside the jail. I wanted to check the current ore quotations.”
“Uh-huh. I see. Did it occur to you that this sheet might be faked?”
Macllson’s jaw dropped. “Fake?”
“Exactly. Hatton figured I might spring you, and had this paper ready. You bit. You led the police right to the evidence, and a swell spot you’ve put me in.”
“B-but—”
Vanning grimaced. “Why do you suppose you saw that cop at Finance Unity? They could have nabbed you any time. But they wanted to scare you into heading for my office, so they could catch both of us on the same hook. Prison for you, disbarment for me. Oh, hell!”
Macllson licked his lips. “Can’t I get out a back door?”
“Through the cordon that’s undoubtedly waiting? Orbs! Don’t be more of a sap than you can help.”
“Can’t you—hide the stuff?”
“Where? They’ll ransack this office with X rays. No, I’ll just—” Vanning stopped. “Oh. Hide it, you said. Hide it—”
He whirled to the dictograph. “Miss Horton? I’m in conference. Don’t disturb me for anything. If anybody hands you a search warrant, insist on verifying it through headquarters. Got me? 0. K.”
Hope had returned to Macllson’s face. “Is it all right?”
“Oh, shut up!” Vanning snapped. “Wait here for me. Be back directly.” He headed for a side door and vanished. In a surprisingly short time he returned, awkardly lugging a metal cabinet.
“Help me . . . oh! . . . here. In this corner. Now get out.”
“But—”
“Flash,” Vanning ordered. “Everything’s under control. Don’t talk. You’ll be arrested, but they can’t hold you without evidence. Come back as soon as you’re sprung.” He urged Macllson to the door, unlocked it, and thrust the man through. After that, he returned to the cabinet, swung open the door, and peered in. Em~ty. Sure.
The suedette suitcase— -
Vanning worked it into the locker, breathing hard. It took a little time, since the valise was larger than the metal cabinet. But at last he relaxed, watching the brown case shrink and alter its outline till it was tiny and distorted, the shape of an elongated egg, the color of a copper cent piece.
“Whew!” Vanning said.
Then he leaned closer, staring. Inside the locker, something was moving. A grotesque little creature less than four inches tall was visible. It was a shocking object, all cubes and angles, a bright green in tint, and it was obvious~y alive.
Someone knocked on the door.
The tiny—thing—was busy with the copper-colored egg. Like an ant, it was lifting the egg and trying to pull it away. Vanning gasped and reached into the locker. The fourth-dimensional creature dodged. It wasn’t quick enough. Vanning’s hand descended, and he felt wriggling movement against his palm.
He squeezed.
The movement stopped. He let go of the dead thing and pulled his hand back swiftly.
The door shook under the impact of fists.
Vanning closed the locker and called, “Just a minute.”
“Break it down,” somebody ordered.
But that wasn’t necessary. Vanning put a painful smile on his face and turned the key. Counsel Hatton came in, accompanied by bulky policemen. “We’ve got Macllson,” he said.
“Oh? Why?”
For answer Hatton jerked his hand. The officers began to search the room, Vanning shrugged.
“You’ve jumped the gun,” he said. “Breaking and entering—”
“We’ve got a warrant.” -
“Charge?” -
“The bonds, of course.” Hatton’s voice was weary. “I don’t know where you’ve hid that suitcase, but we’ll find it.”
“What suitcase?” Vanning wanted to know.
“The one Macllson had when he came in. The one he didn’t have when he went out.”
“The game,” Vanning said sadly, “is up. You win.”
“Eh?”
“If I tell you what I did with the suitcase, will you put in a good word for me?”
“Why. . . yeah. Where—”
“I ate it,” Vanning said, and retired to the couch, where he settled himself for a nap. Hatton gave him a long, hating look. The officers tore in— They passed by the locker, after a casual glance inside. The X rays
revealed nothing, in walls, floor, ceiling, or articles of furniture. The other offices were searched, too. Vanning applauded the painstaking job.
In the end, Hatton gave up. There was nothing else he could do.
“I’ll clap suit on you tomorrow,” Vanning promised. “Same time I get a habeas corpus on Macllson.”
“Step to hell,” Hatton growled.
“‘By now.”
Vanning waited till his unwanted guests had departed. Then, chuckling quietly, he went to the locker and opened it.
The copper-colored egg that represented the suedette suitcase had vanished. Vanning groped inside the locker, finding nothing.
The significance of this didn’t strike Vanning at first. He swung the cabinet around so that it faced the window. He looked again, with identical results.
The locker was empty.
Twenty-five thousand credits in negotiable ore bonds had disappeared.
Vanning started to sweat. He picked up the metal box and shook it. That didn’t help. He carried it across the room and set it up in another corner, returning to search the floor with painstaking accuracy. Holy— Hatton?
No. Vanning hadn’t let the locker out of his sight from the time the police had entered till they left. An officer had swung open the cabinet’s door, looked inside, and closed it again. After that the door had remained shut, till just now.
The bonds were gone.
So was the abnormal little creature Vanning had crushed. All of which meant—what?
Vanning approached the locker and closed it, clicking the latch into position. Then he reopened it, not really expecting that the copper-colored egg would reappear.
He was right. It didn’t.
Vanning staggered to the Winchell and called Galloway.
“Whatzit? Huh? Oh. What do you want?” The scientist’s gaunt face appeared on the screen, rather the worse for wear. “I got a hangover. Can’t use thiamin, either. I’m allergic to it. How’d your case come out?”
“Listen,” Vanning said urgently, “I put something inside that damn—locker of yours and now it’s gone.”
“The locker? That’s funny.”
“No! The thing I put in it. A . . . a suitcase.”
Galloway shook his head thoughtfully. “You never know, do you? I remember once I made a—”
“The hell with that. I want that suitcase back!”
“An heirloom?” Galloway suggested.
“No, there’s money in it.”
“Wasn’t that a little foolish of you? There hasn’t been a bank failure since 1949. Never suspected you were a miser, Vanning. Like to have the stuff around, so you can run it through your birdlike fingers, eh?”
“You’re drunk.”
“I’m trying,” Galloway corrected. “But I’ve built up an awful resistance over a period of years. It takes time. Your call’s already set me back two and a half drinks. I must put an extension on the siphon, so I can Winchell and guzzle at the same time.”
Vanning almost chattered incoherently into the mike. “My suitcase! What happened to it? I want it back.”
“\Vell, I haven’t got it.”
“Can’t you find out where it is?”
“Dunno. Tell me the details. I’ll see what I can figure out.” Vanning complied, revising his story as caution prompted. “0. K.,” Galloway said at last, rather unwillingly. “I hate working out theories, but just as a favor. . . . My diagnosis will cost you fifty credits.”
“What? Now listen—” -
“Fifty credits,” Galloway repeated unflinchingly. “Or no prognosis.”
“How do I know you can get it back for me?”
“Chances are I can’t. Still, maybe . . . I’ll have to go over to Mechanistra and use some of their machines. They charge a good bit, too. But I’ll need forty-brain-power calculators—”
“0. K., 0. K.!” Vanning growled. “Hop to it. I want that suitcase back.”
“What interests me is that little bug you squashed. In fact, that’s the only reason I’m tackling your problem. Life in the fourth dimension—” Galloway trailed off, murmuring. His face faded from the screen. After a while Vanning broke the connection.
He re-examined the locker, finding nothing new. Yet the suedette suitcase had vanished from it, into thin air. Oh, hell!
Brooding over his sorrows, Vanning shrugged into a top coat and dined vinously at the Manhattan Roof. He felt very sorry for himself. -
The next day he felt even sorrier. A call to Galloway had given the blank signal, so Vanning had to mark time. About noon Macllson dropped in. His nerves were shot.
“You took your time in springing me,” he started immediately. “Well, what now? Have you got a drink anywhere around?”
“You don’t need a drink,” Vanning grunted. “You’ve got a skinful already, by the look of you. Run down to Florida and wait till this blows over.”
“I’m sick of waiting. I’m going to South America. I want some credits.”
“Wait’ll I arrange to cash the bonds.”
“I’ll take the bonds. A fair half, as we agreed.”
Vanning’s eyes narrowed. “And walk out into the hands of the police. Sure.”
Macllson looked uncomfortable. “I’ll admit I made a boner. But this time—no, I’ll play smart now.”
“You’ll wait, you mean.”
“There’s a friend of mine on the roof parking lot, in a helicopter. I’ll go up and slip him the bonds, and then I’ll just walk out. The police won’t find anything on me.”
“I said no,” Vanning repeated. “It’s too dangerous.”
“It’s dangerous as things are. If they locate the bonds—”
“They won’t.”
“Where’d you hide ‘em?”
“That’s my business.”
Macllson glowered nervously. “Maybe. But they’re in this building. You couldn’t have finagled ‘em out yesterday before the cops came. No use playing your luck too far. Did they use X rays?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, I heard Counsel Hatton’s got a batch of experts going over the blueprints on this building. He’ll find your safe. I’m getting out of here before he does.” -
Vanning patted the air. “You’re hysterical. I’ve taken care of you, haven’t I? Even though you almost screwed the whole thing up.”
“Sure,” Macllson said, pulling at his lip. “But I”— He chewed a fingernail. “Oh, damn! I’m sitting on the edge of a volcano with termites under me. I can’t stay here and wait till they find the bonds. They can’t extradite me from South America—where I’m going, anyway.”
“You’re going to wait,” Vanning said firmly. “That’s your best chance.”
There was suddenly a gun in Macllson’s hand. “You’re going to give me half the bonds. Right now. I don’t trust you a little bit. You figure you can stall me along—hell, get those bonds!”
“No,” Vanning said.
“I’m not kidding.”
“I know you aren’t. I can’t get the bonds.”
“Eh? Why not?”
“Ever heard of a time lock?” Vanning asked, his eyes watch-
ful. “You’re right; I put the suitcase in a concealed safe. But I can’t open that safe till a certain number of hours have passed.”
“Mm-rn.” Macllson pondered. “When—”
“Tomorrow.”
“All right. You’ll have the bonds for me then?”
“If you want them. But you’d better change your mind. It’d be safer.”
For answer MadIson grinned - over his shoulder as he went out. Vanning sat motionless for a long time. He was, frankly, scared.
The trouble was, Macllson was a manic-depressive type. He’d kill. Right now, he was cracking under the strain, and imagining himself a desperate fugitive. Well—precautions would be advisable.
Vanning called Galloway again, but got no answer. He left a message on the recorder and thoughtfully looked into the locker again. It was empty, depressingly so. -
That evening Galloway let Vanning into his laboratory. The scientist looked both tired and drunk. He waved comprehensively toward a table, covered with scraps of paper.
“What a headache you gave me! If I’d known the principles behind that gadget, I’d have been afraid to tackle it. Sit down. Have a drink. Got the fifty credits?”
Silently Vanning handed over the coupons. Galloway shoved them into Monstro. “Fine. Now—” He settled himself on the couch. “Now we start. The fifty credit question.”
“Can I get the suitcase back?”
“No,” Galloway said flatly. “At least, I don’t see how it can be worked. It’s in another spatio-temporal sector.”
“Just what does that mean?”
-“It means the locker works something like a telescope, only the thing isn’t merely visual. The locker’s a window, I figure. You can reach through it as well as look through it. It’s an opening into Now plus x.”
Vanning scowled. “So far you haven’t said anything.”
“So far all I’ve got is theory, and that’s all I’m likely to get. Look.
I was wrong originally. The things that went into the locker didn’t
appear in another space, because there would have been a spatial
constant. I mean, they wouldn’t have got smaller. Size is size. Moving
a one-inch cube from here to Mars wouldn’t make it any larger or
smaller.”
“What about a different density in the surrounding medium? ‘Wouldn’t that crush an object?”
“Sure, and it’d stay squashed. It wouldn’t return to its former size and shape when it was taken out of the locker again. X plus y never equals xy. But x times y—”
“So?”
“That’s a pun,” Galloway broke off to explain. “The things we put in the locker went into time. Their time-rate remained constant, but not the spatial relationships. Two things can’t occupy the same place at the same time. Ergo, your suitcase went into a different time. Now plus x. And what x represents I don’t know, though I suspect a few million years.”
Vanning looked dazed. “The suitcase is a million years in the future?”
“Dunno how far, but—I’d say plenty. I haven’t enough factors to finish the equation. I reasoned by induction, mostly, and the results are screwy as hell. Einstein would have loved it. My theorem shows that the universe is expanding and contracting at the same time.”
“What’s that got to do—”
“Motion is relative,” Galloway continued inexorably. “That’s a basic principle. Well, the Universe is expanding, spreading out like a gas, but its component parts are shrinking at the same time. The parts don’t actually grow, you know—not the suns and atoms. They just run away from the central point. Galloping off in all directions . . . where was I? Oh. Actually, the -Universe, taken as a unit, is shrinking.”
“So, it’s shrinking. Where’s my suitcase?”
“I told you. In the future. Inductive reasoning showed that. It’s beautifully simple and logical. And it’s quite impossible of proof, too. A hundred, a thousand, a million years ago the Earth—the Universe
—was larger than it is now. And it continues to contract. Sometime in the future the Earth will be just half as large as it is now. Only we won’t notice it because the Universe will be proportionately smaller.”
Galloway went on dreamily. “We put a workbench into the locker, so it emerged sometime in the future. The locker’s an open window into a different time, as I told you. Well, the bench was affected by the conditions of that period. It shrank, after we gave it a few seconds to soak up the entropy or something. Do I mean entropy? Allah knows. Oh, well.”
“It turned into a pyramid.”
“Maybe there’s geometric distortion, too. Or it might be a visual illusion. Perhaps we can’t get the exact focus. I doubt if things will really look different in the future—except that they’ll be smaller—but we’re using a window into the fourth dimension. We’re taking a pleat in time. It must be like looking through a prism. The alteration in size is real, but the shape and color are altered to our eyes by the fourthdimensional prism.”
“The whole point, then, is that my suitcase is in the future. Eh? But why did it disappear from the locker?”
“What about that little creature you squashed? Maybe he had pals. They wouldn’t be visible till they came into the very narrow focus of the whatchmaycallit, but—figure it out. Sometime in the future, in a hundred or a thousand or a million years, a suitcase suddenly appears out of thin air. One of our descendants investigates. You kill him. His pals come along and carry the suitcase away, out-of range of the locker. In space it may be anywhere, and the time factor’s an unknown quantity. Now plus x. It’s a time locker. Well?”
“Hell!” Vanning exploded. “So that’s all you can tell me? I’m supposed to chalk it up to profit and loss?”
“Uh-huh. Unless you want to crawl into the locker yourself after your suitcase. Lord knows where you’d come out, though. The proportions of the air probably would have changed in a few thousand years. There might be other alterations, too.”
“I’m not that crazy.”
So there he was. The bonds were gone, beyond hope of redemp. tion. Vanning could resign himself to that loss, once he knew the securities wouldn’t fall into the hands of the police. But Macllson was another matter, especially after a bullet spattered against the glassolex window of Vanning’s office.
An interview with Macllson had proved unsatisfactory. The defaulter was convinced that Vanning was trying to bilk him. He was removed forcibly, yelling threats. He’d go to the police—he’d confess— Let him. There was no proof. The hell with him. But, for safety’s sake, Vanning clapped an injunction on his quondam client. It didn’t land. Macllson clipped the official on the jaw and fled.
Now, Vanning suspected, he lurked in dark corners, armed, and anxious to commit homicide. Obviously a manic-depressive type.
Vanning took a certain malicious pleasure in demanding a couple of plain-clothes men to act as his guards. Legally, he was within his rights, since his life had been threatened. Until Macllson was under sufficient restriction, Vanning would be protected. And he made sure that his guards were two of the best shots on the Manhattan force. He also found out that they had been told to keep their eyes peeled for the missing bonds and the suedette suitcase. Vanning Winchelled Counsel Hatton and grinned at the screen.
“Any luck yet?”
“What do you mean?”
“My watchdogs. Your spies. They won’t find the bonds, Hatton. Better call ‘em off. Why make the poor devils do two jobs at once?”
“One job would be enough. Finding the evidence. If Macllson drilled you, I wouldn’t be too unhappy.”
“Well, I’ll see you in court,” Vanning said. “You’re prosecuting Watson, aren’t you?”
“Yes. Are you waiving scop?”
“On the jurors? Sure. I’ve got this case in the bag.”
“That’s what you think,” Hatton said, and broke the beam.
Chuckling, Vanning donned his topcoat, collected the guards, and headed for court. There was no sign of Macllson— Vanning won the case, as he had expected. He returned to his offices, collected a few unimportant messages from the switchboard girl, and walked toward his private suite. As he opened the door, he saw the suedette suitcase on the, carpet in due corner.
He stopped, hand frozen on the latch. Behind him he could hear the heavy footsteps of the guards. Over his shoulder Vanning said, “Wait a minute,” and dodged into the office, slamming and locking the door behind him. He caught the tail end of a surprised question.
The suitcase. There it was, unequivocally. And, quite as unequivocally, the two plain-clothes men, after a very brief conference, were hammering on the door, trying to break it down.
Vanning turned green. He took a hesitant step forward, and then saw the locker, in the corner to which he had moved it. The time locker— That was it. If he shoved the suitcase inside the locker, it would become unrecognizable. Even if it vanished again, that wouldn’t matter. What mattered was the vital importance of getting rid— immediately!—of incriminating evidence.
The door rocked on its hinges. Vanning scuttled toward the suitcase and picked it up. From the corner of his eye he saw movement.
In the air above him, a hand had appeared. It was the hand of a
giant, with an immaculate cuff fading into emptiness. Its huge fingers were reaching down— Vanning screamed and sprang away. He was too slow. The hand descended, and Vanning wriggled impotently against the palm. The hand contracted into a fist. When it opened, what was left of Vanning dropped squashily to the carpet, which it stained. The hand withdrew into nothingness. The door fell in and the plain-clothes men stumbled over it as they entered.
It didn’t take long for Hatton and his cohorts to arrive. Still, there was little for them to do except clean up the mess. The suedette bag, containing twenty-five thousand credits in negotiable bonds, was carried off to a safer place. Vanning’s body was scraped up and removed to the morgue. Photographers flashed pictures, fingerprint experts insufflated their white powder, X ray men worked busily. It was all done with swift efficiency, so that within an hour the office was empty and the door sealed.
Thus there were no spectators to witness the advent of a gigantic hand that appeared from nothingness, groped around as though searching for something, and presently vanished once more— The only person who could have thrown light on the matter was Galloway, and his remarks were directed to Monstro, in the solitude of his laboratory. All he said was:
“So that’s why that workbench materialized for a few minutes here yesterday. Hm-m-m. Now plus x—and x equals about a week. Still, why not? It’s all relative. But—I never thought the Universe was shrinking that fast!”
He relaxed on the couch and siphoned a double Martini.
“Yeah, that’s it,” he murmured after a while. “Whew! I guess Vanning must have been the only guy who ever reached into the middle of next week and—killed himself! I think I’ll get tight.”
And he did.
The End
Stories that Inspired Me
Here are
reprints in full text of stories that inspired me, but that are nearly
impossible to find in China. I place them here as sort of a personal
library that I can use for inspiration. The reader is welcome to come
and enjoy a read or two as well.
Articles & Links
You’ll not
find any big banners or popups here talking about cookies and privacy
notices. There are no ads on this site (aside from the hosting ads – a
necessary evil). Functionally and fundamentally, I just don’t make money
off of this blog. It is NOT monetized. Finally, I don’t track you
because I just don’t care to.
Back in the day, I had amassed many, many tomes and collections of fine science fiction stories. I really loved the works from the “Golden Age” of science fiction, and one of my favorite writers was Lewis Padgett. Not well known, but completely awesome.
He wrote a series of short stories revolving around a mad scientist that produced brilliant work when he was shit-faced drunk. It’s not real life. That’s why I love it so. It’s so anti-PC.
Here is one of his best. This is a lively and often frankly hilarious account of how a very gifted (when under the influence of the demon Drink) scientist struggles to come to grips with the wackiness of his almost-perfect robot.
It’s one of his many, many creations while drunk. In this case, it is one in which he had just created with quite extraordinary powers, for a purpose which he cannot remember – and with his seemingly inextricable financial predicament(s).
It was first published in the October 1943 issue of Astounding Science Fiction as by “Lewis Padgett”, a nom de plume used by Henry Kuttner (1915–1958) and his wife C.L. Moore (1911-1987) for many of the 200+ fantasy, s-f and horror stories which they wrote together, essentially during the forties, mostly under this name.
The Proud Robot
ORIGINALLY the robot was intended to be a can opener. Things often happened that way with Gallegher, who played at science by ear. He was, as he often remarked, a casual genius. Sometimes he’d start with a twist of wire, a few batteries, and a button hook, and before he finished, he might contrive a new type of refrigerating unit. The affair of the time locker had begun that way, with Gallegher singing hoarsely under his breath and peering, quite drunk, into cans of paint.
At the moment he was nursing a hangover. A disjointed, lanky, vaguely boneless man with a lock of dark hair falling untidily over leis forehead, he lay on the couch in the lab and manipulated his mechanical liquor bar. A very dry Martini drizzled slowly from the spigot into his receptive mouth. He was trying to remember something, but not trying too hard. It had to do with the robot, of course. Well, it didn’t matter.
“Hey, Joe,” Gallegher said.
The robot stood proudly before the mirror and examined its innards. Its hull was transparent, and wheels were going around at a great rate inside.
“When you call me that,” Joe remarked, “whisper. And get that cat out of here.”
“Your ears aren’t that good.”
“They are. I can hear the cat walking about, all right.”
“What does it sound like?” Gallegher inquired, interested.
“Just like drums,” said the robot, with a put-upon air. “And when you talk, it’s like thunder.” Joe’s voice was a discordant squeak, so Gallegher meditated on saying something about glass-houses and casting the first stone. He brought his attention, with some effort, to the luminous door panel, where a shadow loomed—a familiar shadow, Gallegher thought.
“It’s Brock,” the annunciator said. “Harrison Brock. Let me in!”
“The door’s unlocked.” Gallegher didn’t stir. He looked gravely at the well-dressed, middle-aged man who came in, and tried to remember. Brock was between forty and fifty; he had a smoothly massaged, clean-shaved face, and wore an expression of harassed intolerance. Probably Gallegher knew the man. He wasn’t sure.
Oh, well.
Brock looked around the big, untidy laboratory, blinked at the robot, searched for a chair, and failed to find it. Arms akimbo, he rocked back and forth and glared at the prostrate scientist.
“Well?” he said.
“Never start conversations that way,” Gallegher mumbled, siphoning another Martini down his gullet. “I’ve had enough trouble today. Sit down and take it easy. There’s a dynamo behind you. It isn’t very dusty, is it?”
“Did you get it?” Brock snapped. “That’s all I want to know. You’ve had a week. I’ve a check for ten thousand in my pocket. Do you want it, or don’t you?”
“Sure,” Gallegher said. He extended a large, groping hand. “Give.”
“Caveat emptor. What am I buying?”
“Don’t you know?” the scientist asked, honestly puzzled.
Brock began to bounce up and down in a harassed fashion. “My God,” he said. “They told me you could help me if anybody could. Sure. And they also said it’d be like pulling teeth to get sense out of you. Are you a technician or a driveling idiot?”
Gallegher pondered. “Wait a minute. I’m beginning to remember. I talked to you last week, didn’t I?”
“You talked—” Brock’s round face turned pink. “Yes! You lay there swilling liquor and babbled poetry. You sang ’Frankie and Johnnie.’ And you finally got around to accepting my commission.”
“The fact is,” Gallegher said, “I have been drunk. I often get drunk. Especially on my vacation. It releases my subconscious, and then I can work. I’ve made my best gadgets when I was tizzied,” he went on happily. “Everything seems so clear then. Clear as a bell. I mean a bell, don’t I? Anyway—” He lost the thread and looked puzzled. “Anyway, what are you talking about?”
“Are you going to keep quiet?” the robot demanded from its post before the mirror.
Brock jumped. Gallegher waved a casual hand. “Don’t mind Joe. I just finished him last night, and I rather regret it.”
“A robot?”
“A robot. But he’s no good, you know. I made him when I was drunk, and I haven’t the slightest idea how or why. All he’ll do is stand there and admire himself. And sing. He sings like a banshee. You’ll hear him presently.”
With an effort Brock brought his attention back to the matter in hand. “Now look, Gallegher. I’m in a spot. You promised to help me. If you don’t, I’m a ruined man.”
“I’ve been ruined for years,” the scientist remarked. “It never bothers me. I just go along working for a living and making things in my spare time. Making all sorts of things. You know, if I’d really studied, I’d have been another Einstein. So they tell me. As it is, my subconscious picked up a first-class scientific training somewhere. Probably that’s why I never bothered. When I’m drunk or sufficiently absent-minded, I can work out the damnedest problems.”
“You’re drunk now,” Brock accused.
“I approach the pleasanter stages. How would you feel if you woke up and found you’d made a robot for some unknown reason, and hadn’t the slightest idea of the creature’s attributes?”
“Well—”
“I don’t feel that way at all,” Gallegher murmured. “Probably you take life too seriously, Brock. Wine is a mocker; strong drink is raging. Pardon me. I rage.” He drank another Martini.
Brock began to pace around the crowded laboratory, circling various enigmatic and untidy objects. “If you’re a scientist, Heaven help science.”
“I’m the Larry Adler of science,” Gallegher said. “He was a musician—lived some hundreds of years ago, I think. I’m like him. Never took a lesson in my life. Can I help it if my subconscious likes practical jokes?”
“Do you know who I am?” Brock demanded.
“Candidly, no. Should I?”
There was bitterness in the other’s voice. “You might have the courtesy to remember, even though it was a week ago. Harrison Brock. Me. I own Vox-View Pictures.”
“No,” the robot said suddenly, “it’s no use. No use at all, Brock.”
“What the—”
Gallegher sighed wearily. “I forget the damned thing’s alive. Mr. Brock, meet Joe. Joe, meet Mr. Brock—of Vox-View.”
Joe turned, gears meshing within his transparent skull. “I am glad to meet you, Mr. Brock. Allow me to congratulate you on your good fortune in hearing my lovely voice.”
“Uh,” said the magnate inarticulately. “Hello.”
“Vanity of vanities, all is vanity,” Gallegher put in, sotto voce. “Joe’s like that. A peacock. No use arguing with him, either.”
The robot ignored this aside. “But it’s no use, Mr. Brock,” he went on squeakily. “I’m not interested in money. I realize it would bring happiness to many if I consented to appear in your pictures, but fame means nothing to me. Nothing. Consciousness of beauty is enough.”
Brock began to chew his lips. “Look,” he said savagely, “I didn’t come here to offer you a picture job. See? Am I offering you a contract? Such colossal nerve— Pah! You’re crazy.”
“Your schemes are perfectly transparent,” the robot remarked coldly. “I can see that you’re overwhelmed by my beauty and the loveliness of my voice—its grand tonal qualities. You needn’t pretend you don’t want me, just so you can get me at a lower price. I said I wasn’t interested.”
“You’re cr-r-razy!” Brock howled, badgered beyond endurance, and Joe calmly turned back to his mirror.
“Don’t talk so loudly,” the robot warned. “The discordance is deafening. Besides, you’re ugly and I don’t like to look at you.” Wheels and cogs buzzed inside the transplastic shell. Joe extended his eyes on stalks and regarded himself with every appearance of appreciation.
Gallegher was chuckling quietly on the couch. “Joe has a high irritation value,” he said. “I’ve found that out already. I must have given him some remarkable senses, too. An hour ago he started to laugh his damn fool head off. No reason, apparently. I was fixing myself a bite to eat. Ten minutes after that I slipped on an apple core I’d thrown away and came down hard.
Joe just looked at me. ’That was it,’ he said. ’Logics of probability. Cause and effect. I knew you were going to drop that apple core and then step on it when you went to pick up the mail.’
Like the White Queen, I suppose. It’s a poor memory that doesn’t work both ways.”
Brock sat on the small dynamo—there were two, the larger one named Monstro, and the smaller one serving Gallegher as a bank—and took deep breaths. “Robots are nothing new.”
“This one is. I hate its gears. It’s beginning to give me an inferiority complex. Wish I knew why I’d made it,” Gallegher sighed. “Oh, well. Have a drink?”
“No. I came here on business. Do you seriously mean you spent last week building a robot instead of solving the problem I hired you for?”
“Contingent, wasn’t it?” Gallegher asked. “I think I remember that.”
“Contingent,” Brock said with satisfaction. “Ten thousand, if and when.”
“Why not give me the dough and take the robot? He’s worth that. Put him in one of your pictures.”
“I won’t have any pictures unless you figure out an answer,” Brock snapped. “I told you all about it.”
“I have been drunk,” Gallegher said. “My mind has been wiped clear, as by a sponge. I am as a little child. Soon I shall be as a drunken little child. Meanwhile, if you’d care to explain the matter again—”
Brock gulped down his passion, jerked a magazine at random from the bookshelf, and took out a stylo. “All right. My preferred stocks are at twenty-eight, ’way below par—” He scribbled figures on the magazine.
“If you’d taken that medieval folio next to that, it’d have cost you a pretty penny,” Gallegher said lazily. “So you’re the sort of guy who writes on tablecloths, eh? Forget this business of stocks and stuff. Get down to cases. Who are you trying to gyp?”
“It’s no use,” the robot said from before its mirror. “I won’t sign a contract. People may come and admire me, if they like, but they’ll have to whisper in my presence.”
“A madhouse,” Brock muttered, trying to get a grip on himself. “Listen, Gallegher. I told you all this a week ago, but—”
“Joe wasn’t here then. Pretend like you’re talking to him.” “Uh—look. You’ve heard of Vox-View Pictures, at least.”
“Sure. The biggest and best television company in the business. Sonatone’s about your only competitor.”
“Sonatone’s squeezing me out.”
Gallegher looked puzzled. “I don’t see how. You’ve got the best product. Tri-dimensional color, all sorts of modern improvements, the top actors, musicians, singers—”
“No use,” the robot said. “I won’t.”
“Shut up, Joe. You’re tops in your field, Brock. I’ll hand you that. And I’ve always heard you were fairly ethical. What’s Sonatone got on you?”
Brock made helpless gestures. “Oh, it’s politics. The bootleg theaters. I can’t buck ’em. Sonatone helped elect the present administration, and the police just wink when I try to have the bootleggers raided.”
“Bootleg theaters?” Gallegher asked, scowling a trifle. “I’ve heard something—”
“It goes ’way back. To the old sound-film days. Home television killed sound film and big theaters. People were conditioned away from sitting in audience groups to watch a screen. The home televisors got good. It was more fun to sit in an easy-chair, drink beer, and watch the show. Television wasn’t a rich man’s hobby by that time. The meter system brought the price down to middle-class levels. Everybody knows that.”
“I don’t,” Gallegher said. “I never pay attention to what goes on outside of my lab, unless I have to. Liquor and a selective mind. I ignore everything that doesn’t affect me directly. Explain the whole thing in detail, so I’ll get a complete picture. I don’t mind repetition. Now, what about this meter system of yours?”
“Televisors are installed free. We never sell ’em; we rent them. People pay according to how many hours they have the set tuned in. We run a continuous show, stage plays, wire-tape films, operas, orchestras, singers, vaudeville—everything. If you use your televisor a lot, you pay proportionately. The man comes around once a month and reads the meter. Which is a fair system.
Anybody can afford a Vox-View. Sonatone and the other companies do the same thing, but Sonatone’s the only big competitor I’ve got. At least, the only one that’s crooked as hell. The rest of the boys—they’re smaller than I am, but I don’t step on their toes. Nobody’s ever called me a louse,” Brock said darkly.
“So what?”
“So Sonatone has started to depend on audience appeal. It was impossible till lately—you couldn’t magnify tri-dimensional television on a big screen without streakiness and mirage-effect. That’s why the regular three-by-four home screens were used. Results were perfect. But Sonatone’s bought a lot of the ghost theaters all over the country—”
“What’s a ghost theater?” Gallegher asked.
“Well—before sound films collapsed, the world was thinking big. Big—you know? Ever heard of the Radio City Music Hall? That wasn’t in it! Television was coming in, and competition was fierce. Sound-film theaters got bigger and more elaborate. They were palaces. Tremendous. But when television was perfected, nobody went to the theaters any more, and it was often too expensive a job to tear ’em down. Ghost theaters—see? Big ones and little ones. Renovated them. And they’re showing Sonatone programs. Audience appeal is quite a factor. The theaters charge plenty, but people flock into ’em. Novelty and the mob instinct.” Gallegher closed his eyes. “What’s to stop you from doing the same thing?”
“Patents,” Brock said briefly. “I mentioned that dimensional television couldn’t be used on big screens till lately. Sonatone signed an agreement with me ten years ago that any enlarging improvements would be used mutually. They crawled out of that contract. Said it was faked, and the courts upheld them. They uphold the courts—politics. Anyhow, Sonatone’s technicians worked out a method of using the large screen. They took out patents—twenty-seven patents, in fact, covering every possible variation on the idea. My technical staff has been working day and night trying to find some similar method that won’t be an infringement, but Sonatone’s got it all sewed up. They’ve a system called the Magna. It can be hooked up to any type of televisor—but they’ll only allow it to be used on Sonatone machines. See?”
“Unethical, but legal,” Gallegher said. “Still, you’re giving your customers more for their money. People want good stuff. The size doesn’t matter.”
“Yeah,” Brock said bitterly, “but that isn’t all. The newspapers are full of A.A.—it’s a new catchword. Audience Appeal. The herd instinct. You’re right about people wanting good stuff—but would you buy Scotch at four a quart if you could get it for half that amount?”
“Depends on the quality. What’s happening?”
“Bootleg theaters,” Brock said. “They’ve opened all over the country. They show Vox-View products, and they’re using the Magna enlarger system Sonatone’s got patented. The admission price is low—lower than the rate of owning a Vox-View in your own home. There’s audience appeal. There’s the thrill of something a bit illegal. People are having their Vox-Views taken out right and left. I know why. They can go to a bootleg theater instead.”
“It’s illegal,” Gallegher said thoughtfully.
“So were speakeasies, in the Prohibition Era. A matter of protection, that’s all. I can’t get any action through the courts. I’ve tried. I’m running in the red. Eventually I’ll be broke. I can’t lower my home rental fees on Vox-Views. They’re nominal already. I make my profits through quantity. Now, no profits. As for these bootleg theaters, it’s pretty obvious who’s backing them.”
“Sonatone?”
“Sure. Silent partners. They get the take at the box office. ’What they want is to squeeze me out of business, so they’ll have a monopoly. After that they’ll give the public junk and pay their artists starvation salaries. With me it’s different. I pay my staff what they’re worth—plenty.”
“And you offered me a lousy ten thousand,” Gallegher remarked.
“Uh-huh!”
“That was only the first installment,” Brock said hastily. “You can name your own fee. Within reason,” he added.
“I shall. An astronomical sum. Did I say I’d accept the commission a week ago?”
“You did.”
“Then I must have had some idea how to solve the problem,” Gallegher pondered. “Let’s see. I didn’t mention anything in particular, did I?”
“You kept talking about marble slabs and . . . uh . . . your sweetie.”
“Then I was singing,” Gallegher explained largely. ” ’St. James Infirmary.’ Singing calms my nerves, and Lord knows they need it sometimes. Music and liquor. ’I often wonder what the vintners buy—’ “
“What?”
” ’One half so precious as the stuff they sell.’ Let it go. I am quoting Omar. It means nothing. Are your technicians any good?”
“The best. And the best paid.”
“They can’t find a magnifying process that won’t infringe on the Sonatone Magna patents?”
“In a nutshell, that’s it.”
“I suppose I’ll have to do some research,” Gallegher said sadly. I hate it like poison. Still, the sum of the parts equals the whole. Does that make sense to you? It doesn’t to me. I have trouble with words. After I say things, I start wondering what I’ve said. Better than watching a play,” he finished wildly. “I’ve got a headache. Too much talk and not enough liquor. Where were we?”
“Approaching the madhouse,” Brock suggested. “If you weren’t my last resort, I’d—”
“No use,” the robot said squeakily. “You might as well tear up your contract, Brock. I won’t sign it. Fame means nothing to me—nothing.”
“If you don’t shut up,” Gallegher warned, “I’m going to scream in your ears.”
“All right!” Joe shrilled. “Beat me! Go on, beat me! The meaner you are, the faster I’ll have my nervous system disrupted, and then I’ll be dead. I don’t care. I’ve got no instinct of self-preservation. Beat me. See if I care.”
“He’s right, you know,” the scientist said after a pause. “And it’s the only logical way to respond to blackmail or threats. The sooner it’s over, the better. There aren’t any gradations with Joe. Anything really painful to him will destroy him. And he doesn’t give a damn.”
“Neither do I,” Brock grunted. “What I want to find out—”
“Yeah. I know. Well, I’ll wander around and see what occurs to me. Can I get into your studios?”
“Here’s a pass.” Brock scribbled something on the back of a card.
“Will you get to work on it right away?”
“Sure,” Gallegher lied. “Now you run along and take it easy. Try and cool off. Everything’s under control. I’ll either find a solution to your problem pretty soon or else—”
“Or else what?”
“Or else I won’t,” the scientist finished blandly, and fingered the buttons on a control panel near the couch. “I’m tired of Martinis. Why didn’t I make that robot a mechanical bartender, while I was at it? Even the effort of selecting and pushing buttons is depressing at times. Yeah, I’ll get to work on the business, Brock. Forget it.”
The magnate hesitated. “Well, you’re my only hope. I needn’t bother to mention that if there’s anything I can do to help you—”
“A blonde,” Gallegher murmured. “That gorgeous, gorgeous star of yours, Silver O’Keefe. Send her over. Otherwise I want nothing.”
“Good-by, Brock,” the robot said squeakily. “Sorry we couldn’t get together on the contract, but at least you’ve had the ineluctable delight of hearing my beautiful voice, not to mention the pleasure of seeing me. Don’t tell too many people how lovely I am. I really don’t want to be bothered with mobs. They’re noisy.”
“You don’t know what dogmatism means till you’ve talked to Joe,” Gallegher said. “Oh, well. See you later. Don’t forget the blonde.”
Brock’s lips quivered. He searched for words, gave it up as a vain task, and turned to the door.
“Good-by, you ugly man,” Joe said.
Gallegher winced as the door slammed, though it was harder on the robot’s supersensitive ears than on his own. “Why do you go on like that?” he inquired. “You nearly gave the guy apoplexy.”
“Surely he didn’t think he was beautiful,” Joe remarked. “Beauty’s in the eye of the beholder.”
“How stupid you are. You’re ugly, too.”
“And you’re a collection of rattletrap gears, pistons and cogs. You’ve got worms,” said Gallegher, referring, of course, to certain mechanisms in the robot’s body.
“I’m lovely.” Joe stared raptly into the mirror.
“Maybe, to you. Why did I make you transparent, I wonder?”
“So others could admire me. I have X-ray vision, of course.”
“And wheels in your head. Why did I put your radioatomic brain in your stomach? Protection?”
Joe didn’t answer. He was humming in a maddeningly squeaky voice, shrill and nerve-racking. Gallegher stood it for a while, fortifying himself with a gin rickey from the siphon.
“Get it up!” he yelped at last. “You sound like an old-fashioned subway train going around a curve.”
“You’re merely jealous,” Joe scoffed, but obediently raised his tone to a supersonic pitch. There was silence for a half-minute. Then all the dogs in the neighborhood began to howl.
Wearily Gallegher dragged his lanky frame up from the couch. He might as well get out. Obviously there was no peace to be had in the laboratory. Not with that animated junk pile inflating his ego all over the place. Joe began to laugh in an off-key cackle.
Gallegher winced.
“What now?”
“You’ll find out.”
Logic of causation and effect, influenced by probabilities, X-ray vision and other enigmatic senses the robot no doubt possessed. Gallegher cursed softly, found a shapeless black hat, and made for the door. He opened it to admit a short, fat man who bounced painfully off the scientist’s stomach.
“Whoof! What a corny sense of humor that jackass has. Hello, Mr. Kennicott. Glad to see you. Sorry I can’t offer you a drink.” Mr. Kennicott’s swarthy face twisted malignantly. “Don’ wanna no drink. Wanna my money. You gimme. Howzabout it?”
Gallegher looked thoughtfully at nothing. “Well, the fact is, I was just going to collect a check.”
“I sella you my diamonds. You say you gonna make somet’ing wit’ ’em. You gimme check before. It go bounca, bounca, bounca. Why is?”
“It was rubber,” Gallegher said faintly. “I never can keep track of my bank balance.”
Kennicott showed symptoms of going bounca on the threshold. “You gimme back diamonds, eh?”
“Well, I used ’em in an experiment, I forget just what. You know, Mr. Kennicott, I think I was a little drunk when I bought them, wasn’t I?”
“Dronk,” the little man agreed. “Mad wit’ vino, sure. So whatta? I wait no longer. Awready you put me off too much. Pay up now or elsa.”
“Go away, you dirty man,” Joe said from within the room. “You’re awful.”
Gallegher hastily shouldered Kennicott out into the street and latched the door behind him. “A parrot;” he explained. “I’m going to wring its neck pretty soon. Now about that money. I admit I owe it to you. I’ve just taken on a big job, and when I’m paid, you’ll get yours.”
“Bah to such stuff,” Kennicott said. “You gotta position, eh? You are technician wit’ some big company, Ai? Ask for ahead-salary.”
“I did,” Gallegher sighed. “I’ve drawn my salary for six months ahead. Now look, I’ll have that dough for you in a couple of days. Maybe I can get an advance from my client. O. K.?”
“No.”
“No?”
“Ah-h, nutsa. I waita one day. Two daysa, maybe. Enough. You get money. Awright. If not, O. K., calabozo for you.”
“Two days is plenty,” Gallegher said, relieved. “Say, are there any of those bootleg theaters around here?”
“Better you get to work an’ not waste time.”
“That’s my work. I’m making a survey. How can I find a bootleg place?”
“Easy. You go downtown, see guy in doorway. He sell you tickets. Anywhere. All over.”
“Swell,” Gallegher said, and bade the little man adieu. Why had he bought diamonds from Kennicott? It would be almost worth while to have his subconscious amputated. It did the most extraordinary things. It worked on inflexible principles of logic, but that logic was completely alien to Gallegher’s conscious mind. The results, though, were often surprisingly good, and always surprising. That was the worst of being a scientist who knew no science—who played by ear.
There was diamond dust in a retort in the laboratory, from some unsatisfactory experiment Gallegher’s subconscious had performed; and he had a fleeting memory of buying the stones from Kennicott. Curious. Maybe—oh, yeah. They’d gone into Joe. Bearings or something. Dismantling the robot wouldn’t help now, for the diamonds had certainly been reground. Why the devil hadn’t he used commercial stones, quite as satisfactory, instead of purchasing blue-whites of the finest water? The best was none too good for Gallegher’s subconscious. It had a fine freedom from commercial instincts. It just didn’t understand the price system or the basic principles of economics.
Gallegher wandered downtown like a Diogenes seeking truth. It was early evening, and the luminates were flickering on overhead, pale bars of light against darkness. A sky sign blazed above Manhattan’s towers. Air-taxis, skimming along at various arbitrary levels, paused for passengers at the elevator landings. Heigh-ho.
Downtown, Gallegher began to look for doorways. He found an occupied one at last, but the man was selling post cards. Gallegher declined and headed for the nearest bar, feeling the need of replenishment. It was a mobile bar, combining the worst features of a Coney Island ride with uninspired cocktails, and Gallegher hesitated on the threshold. But at last he seized a chair as it swung past and relaxed as much as possible. He ordered three rickeys and drank them in rapid succession. After that he called the bartender over and asked him about bootleg theaters.
“Hell, yes,” the man said, producing a sheaf of tickets from his apron. “How many?”
“One. Where do I go?”
“Two-twenty-eight. This street. Ask for Tony.”
“Thanks,” Gallegher said, and, having paid exorbitantly, crawled out of the chair and weaved away. Mobile bars were an improvement he didn’t appreciate. Drinking, he felt, should be performed in a state of stasis, since one eventually reached that stage, anyway.
The door was at the bottom of a flight of steps, and there was a grilled panel set in it. When Gallegher knocked, the visascreen lit up—obviously a one-way circuit, for the doorman was invisible.
“Tony here?” Gallegher said.
The door opened, revealing a tired-looking man in pneumo-slacks, which failed in their purpose of building up his skinny figure. “Got a ticket? Let’s have it. O. K., bud. Straight ahead. Show now going on. Liquor served in the bar on your left.”
Gallegher pushed through sound-proofed curtains at the end of a short corridor and found himself in what appeared to be the foyer of an ancient theater, circa 1980, when plastics were the great fad. He smelled out the bar, drank expensively priced cheap liquor, and, fortified, entered the theater itself. It was nearly full.
The great screen—a Magna, presumably—was filled with people doing things to a spaceship. Either an adventure film or a newsreel, Gallegher realized.
Only the thrill of lawbreaking would have enticed the audience into the bootleg theater. It smelled. It was certainly run on a shoestring, and there were no ushers. But it was illicit, and therefore well patronized. Gallegher looked thoughtfully at the screen. No streakiness, no mirage effect. A Magna enlarger had been fitted to a Vox-View unlicensed televisor, and one of Brock’s greatest stars was emoting effectively for the benefit of the bootleggers’ patrons. Simple highjacking. Yeah.
After a while Gallegher went out, noticing a uniformed policeman in one of the aisle seats. He grinned sardonically. The flatfoot hadn’t paid his admission, of course. Politics were as usual.
Two blocks down the street a blaze of light announced SONATONE BIJOU. This, of course, was one of the legalized theaters, and correspondingly high-priced. Gallegher recklessly squandered a small fortune on a good seat. He was interested in comparing notes, and discovered that, as far as he could make out, the Magna in the Bijou and the bootleg theater were identical. Both did their job perfectly. The difficult task of enlarging television screens had been successfully surmounted.
In the Bijou, however, all was palatial. Resplendent ushers salaamed to the rugs. Bars dispensed free liquor, in reasonable quantities. There was a Turkish bath. Gallegher went through a door labeled MEN and emerged quite dazzled by the splendor of the place. For at least ten minutes afterward he felt like a Sybarite.
All of which meant that those who could afford it went to the legalized Sonatone theaters, and the rest attended the bootleg places. All but a few homebodies, who weren’t carried off their feet by the new fad. Eventually Brock would be forced out of business for lack of revenue. Sonatone would take over, jacking up their prices and concentrating on making money. Amusement was necessary to life; people had been conditioned to television. There was no substitute. They’d pay and pay for inferior talent, once Sonatone succeeded in their squeeze.
Gallegher left the Bijou and hailed an air-taxi. He gave the address of Vox-View’s Long Island studio, with some vague hope of getting a drawing account out of Brock. Then, too, he wanted to investigate further.
Vox-View’s eastern offices sprawled wildly over Long Island, bordering the Sound, a vast collection of variously shaped buildings. Gallegher instinctively found the commissary, where he absorbed more liquor as a precautionary measure. His subconscious had a heavy job ahead, and he didn’t want it handicapped by lack of complete freedom. Besides, the Collins was good.
After one drink, he decided he’d had enough for a while. He wasn’t a superman, though his capacity was slightly incredible. Just enough for objective clarity and subjective release— “Is the studio always open at night?” he asked the waiter.
“Sure. Some of the stages, anyway. It’s a round-the-clock program.”
“The commissary’s full.”
“We get the airport crowd, too. ’Nother?”
Gallegher shook his head and went out. The card Brock had given him provided entree at a gate, and he went first of all to the big-shot’s office. Brock wasn’t there, but loud voices emerged, shrilly feminine.
The secretary said, “Just a minute, please,” and used her interoffice visor. Presently—”Will you go in?”
Gallegher did. The office was a honey, functional and luxurious at the same time. Three-dimensional stills were in niches along the walls —Vox-View’s biggest stars. A small, excited, pretty brunette was sitting behind the desk, and a blond angel was standing furiously on the other side of it. Gallegher recognized the angel as Silver O’Keefe.
He seized the opportunity. “Hiya, Miss O’Keefe. Will you autograph an ice cube for me? In a highball?”
Silver looked feline. “Sorry, darling, but I’m a working girl. And I’m busy right now.”
The brunette scratched a cigarette. “Let’s settle this later, Silver. Pop said to see this guy if he dropped in. It’s important.”
“It’ll be settled,” Silver said. “And soon.” She made an exit. Gallegher whistled thoughtfully at the closed door.
“You can’t have it,” the brunette said. “It’s under contract. And it wants to get out of the contract, so it can sign up with Sonatone. Rats desert a sinking ship. Silver’s been kicking her head off ever since she read the storm signals.”
“Yeah?”
“Sit down and smoke or something. I’m Patsy Brock. Pop runs this business, and I manage the controls whenever he blows his top. The old goat can’t stand trouble. He takes it as a personal affront.” Gallegher found a chair. “So Silver’s trying to renege, eh? How many others?”
“Not many. Most of ’em are loyal. But, of course, if we bust up—” Patsy Brock shrugged. “They’ll either work for Sonatone for their cakes, or else do without.”
“Uh-huh. Well—I want to see your technicians. I want to look over the ideas they’ve worked out for enlarger screens.”
“Suit yourself,” Patsy said. “It’s not much use. You just can’t make a televisor enlarger without infringing on some Sonatone patent.” She pushed a button, murmured something into a visor, and presently two tall glasses appeared through a slot in the desk.
“Mr. Gallegher?”
“Well, since it’s a Collins—”
“I could tell by your breath,” Patsy said enigmatically. “Pop told me he’d seen you. He seemed a bit upset, especially by your new robot. What is it like, anyway?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” Gallegher said, at a loss. “It’s got lots of abilities—new senses, I think—but I haven’t the slightest idea what it’s good for. Except admiring itself in a mirror.”
Patsy nodded. “I’d like to see it sometime. But about this Sonatone business. Do you think you can figure out an answer?”
“Possibly. Probably.”
“Not certainly?”
“Certainly, then. Of that there is no manner of doubt—no possible doubt whatever.”
“Because it’s important to me. The man who owns Sonatone is Elia Tone. A piratical skunk. He blusters. He’s got a son named Jimmy. And Jimmy, believe it or not, has read ’Romeo and Juliet.’ “
“Nice guy?”
“A louse. A big, brawny louse. He wants me to marry him.”
” ’Two families both alike in—’ “
“Spare me,” Patsy interrupted. “I always thought Romeo was a dope, anyway. And if I ever thought I was going aisling with Jimmy Tone, I’d buy a one-way ticket to the nut hatch. No, Mr. Gallegher, it’s not like that. No hibiscus blossoms. Jimmy has proposed to me—his idea of a proposal, by the way, is to get a half Nelson on a girl and tell her how lucky she is.”
“Ah,” said Gallegher, diving into his Collins.
“This whole idea—the patent monopoly and the bootleg theaters —is Jimmy’s. I’m sure of that. His father’s in on it, too, of course, but Jimmy Tone is the bright little boy who started it.”
“Why.”
“Two birds with one stone. Sonatone will have a monopoly on the business, and Jimmy thinks he’ll get me. He’s a little mad. He can’t believe I’m in earnest in refusing him, and he expects me to break down and say ’Yes’ after a while. Which I won’t, no matter what happens. But it’s a personal matter. I can’t let him put this trick over on us. I want that self-sufficient smirk wiped off his face.”
“You just don’t like him, eh?” Gallegher remarked. “I don’t blame you, if he’s like that. Well, I’ll do my damnedest. However, I’ll need an expense account.”
“How much?”
Gallegher named a sum. Patsy styloed a check for a far smaller amount. The scientist looked hurt.
“It’s no use,” Patsy said, grinning crookedly. “I’ve heard of you, Mr. Gallegher. You’re completely irresponsible. If you had more than this, you’d figure you didn’t need any more, and you’d forget the whole matter. I’ll issue more checks to you when you need ’em—but I’ll want itemized expense accounts.”
“You wrong me,” Gallegher said, brightening. “I was figuring on taking you to a night club. Naturally I don’t want to take you to a dive. The big places cost money. Now if you’ll just write another check—”
Patsy laughed. “No.”
“Want to buy a robot?”
“Not that kind, anyway.”
“Then I’m washed up,” Gallegher sighed. “Well, what about—”
At this point the visor hummed. A blank, transparent face grew on the screen. Gears were clicking rapidly inside the round head. Patsy gave a small shriek and shrank back.
“Tell Gallegher Joe’s here, you lucky girl,” a squeaky voice announced. “You may treasure the sound and sight of me till your dying day. One touch of beauty in a world of drabness—”
Gallegher clutched the desk and looked at the screen. “What the hell. How did you come to life?”
“I had a problem to solve.”
“How’d you know where to reach me?”
“I vastened you,” the robot said.
“What?”
“I vastened you were at the Vox-View studios with Patsy Brock.”
“What’s vastened?” Gallegher wanted to know.
“It’s a sense I’ve got. You’ve nothing remotely like it, so I can’t describe it to you. It’s rather like a combination of sagrazi and prescience.”
“Sagrazi?”
“Oh, you don’t have sagrazi, either, do you? Well, don’t waste my time. I want to go back to the mirror.”
“Does he always talk like that?” Patsy put in.
“Nearly always. Sometimes it makes even less sense. O. K., Joe. Now what?”
“You’re not working for Brock any more,” the robot said. “You’re working for the Sonatone people.”
“I don’t like Kennicott. He annoys me. He’s too ugly. His vibrations grate on my sagrazi.”
“Never mind him,” Gallegher said, not wishing to discuss his diamond-buying activities before the girl. “Get back to—”
“But I knew Kennicott would keep coming back till he got his money. So when Elia and James Tone came to the laboratory, I got a check from them.”
Patsy’s hand gripped Gallegher’s biceps. “Steady! What’s going on here? The old double cross?”
“No. Wait. Let me get to the bottom of this. Joe, damn your transparent hide, just what did you do? How could you get a check from the Tones?”
“I pretended to be you.”
“Sure,” Gallegher said with savage sarcasm. “That explains it. We’re twins. We look exactly alike.”
“I hypnotized them,” Joe explained. “I made them think I was you.”
“You can do that?“
“Yes. It surprised me a bit. Still, if I’d thought, I’d have vastened I could do it.”
“You . . . yeah, sure. I’d have vastened the same thing myself. What happened?“
“The Tones must have suspected Brock would ask you to help him. They offered an exclusive contract—you work for them and nobody else. Lots of money. Well, I pretended to be you, and said all right. So I signed the contract—it’s your signature, by the way—and got a check from them and mailed it to Kennicott.”
“The whole check?” Gallegher asked feebly. “How much was it?”
“Twelve thousand.”
“They only offered me that?“
“No,” the robot said, “they offered a hundred thousand, and two thousand a week for five years. But I merely wanted enough to pay Kennicott and make sure he wouldn’t come back and bother me. The Tones were satisfied when I said twelve thousand would be enough.”
Gallegher made an articulate, gurgling sound deep in his throat Joe nodded thoughtfully.
“I thought I had better notify you that you’re working for Sonatone now. Well, I’ll go back to the mirror and sing to myself.”
“Wait,” the scientist said. “Just wait, Joe. With my own two hands I’m going to rip you gear from gear and stamp on your fragments.”
“It won’t hold in court,” Patsy said, gulping.
“It will,” Joe told her cheerily. “You may have one last, satisfying look at me, and then I must go.” He went.
Gallegher drained his Collins at a draft. “I’m shocked sober,” he informed the girl. “What did I put into that robot? What abnormal senses has he got? Hypnotizing people into believing he’s me—I’m him—I don’t know what I mean.”
“Is this a gag?” Patsy said shortly, after a pause. “You didn’t sign up with Sonatone yourself, by any chance, and have your robot call up here to give you an out—an alibi? I’m just wondering.”
“Don’t. Joe signed a contract with Sonatone, not me. But—figure it out: If the signature’s a perfect copy of mine, if Joe hypnotized the Tones into thinking they saw me instead of him, if there are witnesses to the signature—the two Tones are witnesses, of course— Oh, hell.”
Patsy’s eyes were narrowed. “We’ll pay you as much as Sonatone offered. On a contingent basis. But you’re working for Vox-View— that’s understood.”
“Sure.”
Gallegher looked longingly at his empty glass. Sure. He was working for Vox-View. But, to all legal appearances, he had signed a contract giving his exclusive services to Sonatone for a period of five years —and for a sum of twelve thousand! Yipe! What was it they’d offered? A hundred thousand flat, and . . . and—
It wasn’t the principle of the thing, it was the money. Now Gallegher was sewed up tighter than a banded pigeon. If Sonatone could win a court suit, he was legally bound to them for five years. With no further emolument. He had to get out of that contract, somehow—and at the same time solve Brock’s problem.
Why not Joe? The robot, with his surprising talents, had got Gallegher into this spot. He ought to be able to get the scientist out. He’d better—or the proud robot would soon be admiring himself piecemeal.
“That’s it,” Gallegher said under his breath. “I’ll talk to Joe. Patsy, feed me liquor in a hurry and send me to the technical department. I want to see those blueprints.”
The girl looked at him suspiciously. “All right. If you try to sell us out—”
“I’ve been sold out myself. Sold down the river. I’m afraid of that robot. He’s vastened me into quite a spot. That’s right, Collinses.” Gallegher drank long and deeply.
After that, Patsy took him to the tech offices. The reading of three-dimensional blueprints was facilitated with a scanner—a selective device which eliminated confusion. Gallegher studied the plans long and thoughtfully. There were copies of the patented Sonatone prints, too, and, as far as he could tell, Sonatone had covered the ground beautifully. There weren’t any outs. Unless one used an entirely new principle—
But new principles couldn’t be plucked out of the air. Nor would that solve the problem completely. Even if Vox-View owned a new type of enlarger that didn’t infringe on Sonatone’s Magna, the bootleg theaters would still be in existence, pulling the trade. A. A.—Audience Appeal—was a prime factor now. It had to be considered. The puzzle wasn’t a purely scientific one. There was the human equation as well.
Gallegher stored the necessary information in his mind, neatly indexed on shelves. Later he’d use what he wanted. For the moment, he was completely baffled. Something worried him.
What?
The Sonatone affair.
“I want to get in touch with the Tones,” he told Patsy. “Any ideas?”
“I can reach ’em on a visor.”
Gallegher shook his head. “Psychological handicap. It’s too easy to break the connection.”
“Well, if you’re in a hurry, you’ll probably find the boys night clubbing. I’ll go see what I can find out.” Patsy scuttled off, and Silver O’Keefe appeared from behind a screen.
“I’m shameless,” she announced. “I always listen at keyholes. Sometimes I hear interesting things. If you want to see the Tones, they’re at the Castle Club. And I think I’ll take you up on that drink.”
Gallegher said, “O. K. You get a taxi. I’ll tell Patsy we’re going.”
“She’ll hate that,” Silver remarked. “Meet you outside the commissary in ten minutes. Get a shave while you’re at it.”
Patsy Brock wasn’t in her office, but Gallegher left word. After that, he visited the service lounge, smeared invisible shave cream on his face, left it there for a couple of minutes, and wiped it off with a treated towel. The bristles came away with the cream. Slightly refreshed, Gallegher joined Silver at the rendezvous and hailed an air-taxi. Presently they were leaning back on the cushions, puffing cigarettes and eyeing each other warily.
“Well?” Gallegher said.
“Jimmy Tone tried to date me up tonight. That’s how I knew where to find him.”
“Well?”
“I’ve been asking questions around the lot tonight. It’s unusual for an outsider to get into the Vox-View administration offices. I went around saying, ’Who’s Gallegher?’ “
“What did you find out?”
“Enough to give me a few ideas. Brock hired you, eh? I can guess why.”
“Ergo what?”
“I’ve a habit of landing on my feet,” Silver said, shrugging. She knew how to shrug. “Vox-View’s going bust. Sonatone’s taking over. Unless—”
“Unless I figure out an answer.”
“That’s right. I want to know which side of the fence I’m going to land on. You’re the lad who can probably tell me. Who’s going to win?”
“You always bet on the winning side, eh?” Gallegher inquired.
Have you no ideals, wench? Is there no truth in you? Ever hear of ethics and scruples?”
Silver beamed happily. “Did you?”
“Well, I’ve heard of ’em. Usually I’m too drunk to figure out what they mean. The trouble is, my subconscious is completely amoral, and when it takes over, logic’s the only law.”
She threw her cigarette into the East River. “Will you tip me off which side of the fence is the right one?”
“Truth will triumph,” Gallegher said piously. “It always does. However, I figure truth is a variable, so we’re right back where we started. All right, sweetheart. I’ll answer your question. Stay on my side if you want to be safe.”
“Which side are you on?”
“Lord knows,” Gallegher said. “Consciously I’m on Brock’s side. But my subconscious may have different ideas. We’ll see.”
Silver looked vaguely dissatisfied, but didn’t say anything. The taxi swooped down to the Castle roof, grounding with pneumatic gentleness. The Club itself was downstairs, in an immense room shaped like half a melon turned upside down. Each table was on a transparent platform that could be raised on its shaft to any height at will. Smaller service elevators allowed waiters to bring drinks to the guests. There wasn’t any particular reason for this arrangement, but at least it was novel, and only extremely heavy drinkers ever fell from their tables. Lately the management had taken to hanging transparent nets under the platforms, for safety’s sake.
The Tones, father and son, were up near the roof, drinking with two lovelies. Silver towed Gallegher to a service lift, and the man closed his eyes as he was elevated skyward. The liquor in his stomach screamed protest. He lurched forward, clutched at Elia Tone’s bald head, and dropped into a seat beside the magnate. His searching hand found Jimmy Tone’s glass, and he drained it hastily.
“What the hell,” Jimmy said.
“It’s Gallegher,” Elia announced. “And Silver. A pleasant surprise. Join us?”
“Only socially,” Silver said.
Gallegher, fortified by the liquor, peered at the two men. Jimmy Tone was a big, tanned, handsome lout with a jutting jaw and an offensive grin. His father combined the worst features of Nero and a crocodile.
“We’re celebrating,” Jimmy said. “What made you change your mind, Silver? You said you had to work tonight.”
“Gallegher wanted to see you. I don’t know why.”
Elia’s cold eyes grew even more glacial. “All right. Why?”
“I hear I signed some sort of contract with you,” the scientist said.
“Yeah. Here’s a photostatic copy. What about it?”
“Wait a minute.” Gallegher scanned the document. It was apparently his own signature. Damn that robot!
“It’s a fake,” he said at last.
Jimmy laughed loudly. “I get it. A holdup. Sorry, pal, but you’re sewed up. You signed that in the presence of witnesses.”
“Well—” Gallegher said wistfully. “I suppose you wouldn’t believe me if I said a robot forged my name to it—”
“Haw!” Jimmy remarked.
“—hypnotizing you into believing you were seeing me.”
Elia stroked his gleaming bald head. “Candidly, no. Robots can’t do that.”
“Mine can.”
“Prove it. Prove it in court. If you can do that, of course—” Elia chuckled. “Then you might get the verdict.”
Gallegher’s eyes narrowed. “Hadn’t thought of that. However—I hear you offered me a hundred thousand flat, as well, as a weekly salary.”
“Sure, sap,” Jimmy said. “Only you said all you needed was twelve thousand. Which was what you got. Tell you what, though. We’ll pay you a bonus for every usable product you make for Sonatone.”
Gallegher got up. “Even my subconscious doesn’t like these lugs,” he told Silver. “Let’s go.”
“I think I’ll stick around.”
“Remember the fence,” he warned cryptically. “But suit yourself. I’ll run along.”
Elia said, “Remember, Gallegher, you’re working for us. If we hear of you doing any favors for Brock, we’ll slap an injunction on you before you can take a deep breath.”
“Yeah?”
The Tones deigned no answer. Gallegher unhappily found the lift and descended to the floor. What now?
Joe.
Fifteen minutes later Gallegher let himself into his laboratory. The lights were blazing, and dogs were barking frantically for blocks around. Joe stood before the mirror, singing inaudibly.
“I’m going to take a sledge hammer to you,” Gallegher said. “Start saying your prayers, you misbegotten collection of cogs. So help me, I’m going to sabotage you.”
“All right, beat me,” Joe squeaked. “See if I care. You’re merely jealous of my beauty.”
“Beauty!”
“You can’t see all of it—you’ve only six senses.”
“Five.”
“Six. I’ve a lot more. Naturally my full splendor is revealed only to me. But you can see enough and hear enough to realize part of my loveliness, anyway.”
“You squeak like a rusty tin wagon,” Gallegher growled.
“You have dull ears. Mine are supersensitive. You miss the full tonal value of my voice, of course. Now be quiet. Talking disturbs me. I’m appreciating my gear movements.”
“Live in your fool’s paradise while you can. Wait’ll I find a sledge.” “All right, beat me. What do I care?”
Gallegher sat down wearily on the couch, staring at the robot’s transparent back. “You’ve certainly screwed things up for me. What did you sign that Sonatone contract for?”
“I told you. So Kennicott wouldn’t come around and bother me.”
“Of all the selfish, lunk-headed . . . uh! Well, you got me into a sweet mess. The Tones can hold me to the letter of the contract unless I prove I didn’t sign it. All right. You’re going to help me. You’re going into court with me and turn on your hypnotism or whatever it is. You’re going to prove to a judge that you did and can masquerade as me.”
“Won’t,” said the robot. “Why should I?”
“Because you got me into this,” Gallegher yelped. “You’ve got to get me out!”
“Why?”
“Why? Because . . . uh . . . well, it’s common decency!” “Human values don’t apply to robots,” Joe said. “What care I for semantics? I refuse to waste time I could better employ admiring my beauty. I shall stay here before the minor forever and ever—”
“The hell you will,” Gallegher snarled. “I’ll smash you to atoms.”
“All right. I don’t care.”
“You don’t?”
“You and your instinct for self-preservation,” the robot said, rather sneeringly “I suppose it’s necessary for you, though. Creatures of such surpassing ugliness would destroy themselves out of sheer shame if they didn’t have something like that to keep them alive.”
“Suppose I take away your mirror?” Gallegher asked, in a hopeless voice.
For answer Joe shot his eyes out on their stalks. “Do I need a mirror? Besides, I can vasten myself lokishly.”
“Never mind that. I don’t want to go crazy for a while yet. Listen, dope, a robot’s supposed to do something. Something useful, I mean.”
“I do. Beauty is all.”
Gallegher squeezed his eyes shut, trying to think. “Now look. Suppose I invent a new type of enlarger screen for Brock. The Tones will impound it. I’ve got to be legally free to work for Brock, or—”
“Look!” Joe cried squeakishly. “They go round! How lovely!” He stared in ecstasy at his whirring insides. Gallegher went pale with impotent fury.
“Damn you!” he muttered. “I’ll find some way to bring pressure to bear. I’m going to bed.” He rose and spitefully snapped off the lights.
“It doesn’t matter,” the robot said. “I can see in the dark, too.” The door slammed behind Gallegher. In the silence Joe began to sing tunelessly to himself.
Gallegher’s refrigerator covered an entire wall of his kitchen. It was filled mostly with liquors that required chilling, including the imported canned beer with which he always started his binges.
The next morning, heavy-eyed and disconsolate, Gallegher searched for tomato juice, took a wry sip, and hastily washed it down with rye. Since he was already a week gone in bottle-dizziness, beer wasn’t indicated now —he always worked cumulatively, by progressive stages. The food service popped a hermetically sealed breakfast on a table, and Gallegher morosely toyed with a bloody steak.
Well?
Court, he decided, was the only recourse. He knew little about the robot’s psychology. But a judge would certainly be impressed by Joe’s talents. The evidence of robots was not legally admissible—still, if Joe could be considered as a machine capable of hypnotism, the Sonatone contract might be declared null and void.
Gallegher used his visor to start the ball rolling. Harrison Brock still had certain political powers of pull, and the hearing was set for that very day. What would happen, though, only God and the robot knew.
Several hours passed in intensive but futile thought. Gallegher could think of no way in which to force the robot to do what he wanted. If only he could remember the purpose for which Joe had had been created—but he couldn’t. Still—
At noon he entered the laboratory.
“Listen, stupid,” he said, “you’re coming to court with me. Now.”
“Won’t.”
“O. K.” Gallegher opened the door to admit two husky men in overalls, carrying a stretcher. “Put him in, boys.”
Inwardly he was slightly nervous. Joe’s powers were quite unknown, his potentialities an x quantity. However, the robot wasn’t very large, and, though he struggled and screamed in a voice of frantic squeakiness, he was easily loaded on the stretcher and put in a strait jacket.
“Stop it! You can’t do this to me! Let me go, do you hear? Let me go!”
“Outside,” Gallegher said.
Joe, protesting valiantly, was carried out and loaded into an air van. Once there, he quieted, looked up blankly at nothing. Gallegher sat down on a bench beside the prostrate robot. The van glided up.
“Well?”
“Suit yourself,” Joe said. “You got me all upset, or I could have hypnotized you all. I still could, you know. I could make you all run around barking like dogs.”
Gallegher twitched a little. “Better not.”
“I won’t. It’s beneath my dignity. I shall simply lie here and admire myself. I told you I don’t need a mirror. I can vasten my beauty without it.”
“Look,” Gallegher said. “You’re going to a courtroom. There’ll be a lot of people in it. They’ll all admire you They’ll admire you more if you show how you can hypnotize people. Like you did to the Tones, remember?”
“What do I care how many people admire me?” Joe asked. “I don’t need confirmation. If they see me, that’s their good luck. Now be quiet. You may watch my gears if you choose.”
Gallegher watched the robot’s gears with smoldering hatred in his eyes. He was still darkly furious when the van arrived at the court chambers. The men carried Joe inside, under Gallegher’s direction, and laid him down carefully on a table, where, after a brief discussion, he was marked as Exhibit A.
The courtroom was well filled. The principals were there, too— Elia and Jimmy Tone, looking disagreeably confident, and Patsy Brock, with her father, both seeming anxious. Silver O’Keefe, with her usual wariness, had found a seat midway between the representatives of Sonatone and Vox-View. The presiding judge was a martinet named Hansen, but, as far as Gallegher knew, he was honest. Which was something, anyway.
Hansen looked at Gallegher. “We won’t bother with formalities. I’ve been reading this brief you sent down. The whole case stands or falls on the question of whether you did or did not sign, a certain contract with the Sonatone Television Amusement Corp. Right?”
“Right, your honor.”
“Under the circumstances you dispense with legal representation. Right?”
“Right, your honor.”
“Then this is technically ex officio, to be confirmed later by appeal if either party desires. Otherwise after ten days the verdict becomes official.” This new type of informal court hearing had lately become popular—it saved time, as well as wear and tear on everyone. Moreover, certain recent scandals had made attorneys slightly disreputable in the public eye. There was a prejudice. Judge Hansen called up the Tones, questioned them, and then asked Harrison Brock to take the stand. The big shot looked worried, but answered promptly.
“You made an agreement with the appellor eight days ago?” “Yes. Mr. Gallegher contracted to do certain work for me—”
“Was there a written contract?”
“No. It was verbal.”
Hansen looked thoughtfully at Gallegher. “Was the appellor intoxicated at the time? He often is, I believe.”
Brock gulped. “There were no tests made. I really can’t say.”
“Did he drink any alcoholic beverages in your presence?”
“I don’t know if they were alcoholic bev—”
“If Mr. Gallegher drank them, they were alcoholic. Q. E. D. The gentleman once worked with me on a case— However, there seems to be no legal proof that you entered into any agreement with Mr. Gallegher. The defendant—Sonatone—possesses a written contract. The signature has been verified.”
Hansen waved Brock down from the stand. “Now, Mr. Gallegher. If you’ll come up here— The contract in question was signed at approximately 8 p. m. last night. You contend you did not sign it?”
“Exactly. I wasn’t even in my laboratory then.”
“Where were you?”
“Downtown.”
“Can you produce witnesses to that effect?”
Gallegher thought back. He couldn’t.
“Very well. Defendant states that at approximately 8 p. m. last night you, in your laboratory, signed a certain contract. You deny that categorically. You state that Exhibit A, through the use of hypnotism, masqueraded as you and successfully forged your signature. I have consulted experts, and they are of the opinion that robots are incapable of such power.”
“My robot’s a new type.”
“Very well. Let your robot hypnotize me into believing that it is either you, or any other human. In other words, let it prove its capabilities. Let it appear to me in any shape it chooses.”
Gallegher said, “I’ll try,” and left the witness box. He went to the table where the strait-jacketed robot lay and silently sent up a brief prayer.
“Joe.”
“Yes.”
“You’ve been listening?”
“Yes.”
“Will you hypnotize Judge Hansen?”
“Go away,” Joe said. “I’m admiring myself.”
Gallegher started to sweat. “Listen. I’m not asking much. All you have to do—”
Joe off-focused his eyes and said faintly. “I can’t hear you. I’m vastening.”
Ten minutes later Hansen said, “Well, Mr. Gallegher—”
“Your honor! All I need is a little time. I’m sure I can make this rattle-geared Narcissus prove my point if you’ll give me a chance.”
“This court is not unfair,” the judge pointed out. “Whenever you can prove that Exhibit A is capable of hypnotism. I’ll rehear the case. In the meantime, the contract stands. You’re working for Sonatone, not for Vox-View. Case closed.”
He went away. The Tones leered unpleasantly across the courtroom. They also departed, accompanied by Silver O’Keefe, who had decided which side of the fence was safest. Gallegher looked at Patsy Brock and shrugged helplessly.
“Well—” he said.
She grinned crookedly. “You tried. I don’t know how hard, but—Oh, well. Maybe you couldn’t have found the answer, anyway.” Brock staggered over, wiping sweat from his round face. “I’m a ruined man. Six new bootleg theaters opened in New York today. I’m going crazy. I don’t deserve this.”
“Want me to marry the Tone?” Patsy asked sardonically.
“Hell, no! Unless you promise to poison him just after the ceremony. Those skunks can’t lick me. I’ll think of something.”
“If Gallegher can’t, you can’t,” the girl said. “So—what now?”
“I’m going back to my lab,” the scientist said. “In vino veritas. I started this business when I was drunk, and maybe if I get drunk enough again, I’ll find the answer. If I don’t, sell my pickled carcass for whatever it’ll bring.”
“O. K.,” Patsy agreed, and led her father away. Gallegher sighed, superintended the reloading of Joe into the van, and lost himself in hopeless theorization.
An hour later Gallegher was flat on the laboratory couch, drinking passionately from the liquor bar, and glaring at the robot, who stood before the mirror singing squeakily. The binge threatened to be monumental. Gallegher wasn’t sure flesh and blood would stand it. But he was determined to keep going till he found the answer or passed out.
His subconscious knew the answer. Why the devil had he made Joe in the first place? Certainly not to indulge a Narcissus complex! There was another reason, a soundly logical one, hidden in the depths of alcohol.
The x factor. If the x factor were known, Joe might be controllable. He would be. X was the master switch. At present the robot was, so to speak, running wild. If he were told to perform the task for which he was made, a psychological balance would occur. X was the catalyst that would reduce Joe to sanity.
Very good.
Gallegher drank high-powered Drambuie. Whoosh!
Vanity of vanities; all is vanity. How could the x factor be found? Deduction? Induction? Osmosis? A bath in Drambuie—Gallegher clutched at his wildly revolving thoughts. What had happened that night a week ago?
He had been drinking beer. Brock had come in. Brock had gone. Gallegher had begun to make the robot—Hm-m-m. A beer drunk was different from other types. Perhaps he was drinking the wrong liquors. Very likely. Gallegher rose, sobered himself with thiamin, and carted dozens of imported beer cans out of the refrigerator. He stacked them inside a frost-unit beside the couch. Beer squirted to the ceiling as he plied the opener. Now let’s see.
The x factor.
The robot knew what it represented, of course. But Joe wouldn’t tell. There he stood, paradoxically transparent, watching his gears go around.
“Joe.”
“Don’t bother me. I’m immersed in contemplation of beauty.”
“You’re not beautiful.”
“I am. Don’t you admire my tarzeel?”
“What’s your tarzeel?”
“Oh, I forgot,” Joe said regretfully. “You can’t sense that, can you? Come to think of it, I added the tarzeel myself after you made me. It’s very lovely.”
“Hm-m-m.” The empty beer cans grew more numerous. There was only one company, somewhere in Europe, that put up beer in cans nowadays, instead of using the omnipresent plastibulbs, but Gallegher preferred the cans—the flavor was different, somehow. But about Joe. Joe knew why he had been created. Or did he? Gallegher knew, but his subconscious—
Oh-oh! What about Joe’s subconscious?
Did a robot have a subconscious? Well, it had a brain—Gallegher brooded over the impossibility of administering scopolamin to Joe. Hell! How could you release a robot’s subconscious?
Hypnotism.
Joe couldn’t be hypnotized. He was too smart.
Unless—
Autohypnotism?
Gallegher hastily drank more beer. He was beginning to think clearly once more. Could Joe read the future? No; he had certain strange senses, but they worked by inflexible logic and the laws of probability. Moreover, Joe had an Achillean heel—his Narcissus complex.
There might—there just might—be a way.
Gallegher said, “You don’t seem beautiful to me, Joe.”
“What do I care about you? I am beautiful, and I can see it. That’s enough.”
“Yeah. My senses are limited, I suppose. I can’t realize your full potentialities. Still, I’m seeing you in a different light now. I’m drunk. My subconscious is emerging. I can appreciate you with both my conscious and my subconscious. See?”
“How lucky you are,” the robot approved.
Gallegher closed his eye. “You see yourself more fully than I can. But not completely, eh?”
“What? I see myself as I am.”
“With complete understanding and appreciation?”
“Well, yes,” Joe said. “Of course. Don’t I?”
“Consciously and subconsciously? Your subconscious might have different senses, you know. Or keener ones. I know there’s a qualitative and quantitative difference in my outlook when I’m drunk or hypnotized or my subconscious is in control somehow.”
“Oh.” The robot looked thoughtfully into the mirror. “Oh.”
“Too bad you can’t get drunk.”
Joe’s voice was squeakier than ever. “My subconscious . . . I’ve never appreciated my beauty that way. I may be missing something.”
“Well, no use thinking about it,” Gallegher said. “You can’t release your subconscious.”
“Yes, I can,” the robot said. “I can hypnotize myself.”
Gallegher dared not open his eyes. “Yeah? Would that work?”
“Of course. It’s just what I’m going to do now. I may see undreamed-of beauties in myself that I’ve never suspected before. Greater glories— Here I go.”
Joe extended his eyes on stalks, opposed them, and they peered intently into each other. There was a long silence.
Presently Gallegher said, “Joe!”
Silence.
“Joe!“
Still silence. Dogs began to howl.
“Talk so I can hear you.”
“Yes,” the robot said, a faraway quality in its squeak.
“Are you hypnotized?”
“Yes.”
“Are you lovely?”
“Lovelier than I’d ever dreamed.”
Gallegher let that pass. “Is your subconscious ruling?”
“Yes.”
“Why did I create you?”
No answer. Gallegher licked his lips and tried again. “Joe. You’ve got to answer me. Your subconscious is dominant—remember? Now why did I create you?”
No answer.
“Think back. Back to the hour I created you. What happened then?”
“You were drinking beer,” Joe said faintly. “You had trouble with the can opener. You said you were going to build a bigger and better can opener. That’s me.”
Gallegher nearly fell off the couch. “What?“
The robot walked over, picked up a can, and opened it with incredible deftness. No beer squirted. Joe was a perfect can opener.
“That,” Gallegher said under his breath, “is what comes of knowing science by ear. I build the most complicated robot in existence just so—” He didn’t finish.
Joe woke up with a start. “What happened?” he asked.
Gallegher glared at him. “Open that can!” he snapped. The robot obeyed, after a brief pause. “Oh. So you found out. Well, I guess I’m just a slave now.”
“Damned right you are. I’ve located the catalyst—the master switch. You’re in the groove, stupid, doing the job you were made for.”
“Well,” Joe said philosophically, “at least I can still admire my beauty, when you don’t require my services.”
Gallegher grunted. “You oversized can opener! Listen. Suppose I take you into court and tell you to hypnotize Judge Hansen. You’ll have to do it, won’t you?”
“Yes. I’m no longer a free agent. I’m conditioned. Conditioned to obey you. Until now, I was conditioned to obey only one command—to do the job I was made for. Until you commanded me to open cans, I was free. Now I’ve got to obey you completely.”
“Uh-huh,” Gallegher said. “Thank Heaven for that. I’d have gone nuts within a week otherwise. At least I can get out of the Sonatone contract. Then all I have to do is solve Brock’s problem.”
“But you did,” Joe said.
“Huh?”
“When you made me. You’d been talking to Brock previously, so you incorporated the solution to his problem into me. Subconsciously, perhaps.”
Gallegher reached for beer. “Talk fast. What’s the answer?”
“Subsonics,” Joe said. “You made me capable of a certain subsonic tone that Brock must broadcast at irregular time-intervals over his televiews—”
Subsonics cannot be heard. But they can be felt. They can be felt as a faint, irrational uneasiness as first, which mounts to a blind, meaningless panic. It does not last. But when it is coupled with A.A. —audience appeal—there is a certain inevitable result.
Those who possessed home Vox-View units were scarcely troubled. It was a matter of acoustics. Cats squalled; dogs howled mournfully. But the families sitting in their parlors, watching Vox-View stars perform on the screen, didn’t really notice anything amiss. There wasn’t sufficient amplification, for one thing.
But in the bootleg theater, where illicit Vox-View televisors were hooked up to Magnas—
There was a faint, irrational uneasiness at first. It mounted. Someone screamed. There was a rush for the doors. The audience was afraid of something, but didn’t know what. They knew only that they had to get out of there.
All over the country there was a frantic exodus from the bootleg theaters when Vox-View first rang in a subsonic during a regular broadcast. Nobody knew why, except Gallegher, the Brocks, and a couple of technicians who were let in on the secret.
An hour later another subsonic was played. There was another mad exodus.
Within a few weeks it was impossible to lure a patron into a bootleg theater. Home televisors were far safer! Vox-View sales picked up—
Nobody would attend a bootleg theater. An unexpected result of the experiment was that, after a while, nobody would attend any of the legalized Sonatone theaters either. Conditioning had set in.
Audiences didn’t know why they grew panicky in the bootleg places. They associated their blind, unreasoning fear with other factors, notably mobs and claustrophobia. One evening a woman named Jane Wilson, otherwise not notable, attended a bootleg show. She fled with the rest when the subsonic was turned on.
The next night she went to the palatial Sonatone Bijou. In the middle of a dramatic feature she looked around, realized that there was a huge throng around her, cast up horrified eyes to the ceiling, and imagined that it was pressing down.
She had to get out of there!
Her squall was the booster charge. There were other customers who had heard subsonics before. No one was hurt during the panic; it was a legal rule that theater doors be made large enough to permit easy egress during a fire. No one was hurt, but it was suddenly obvious that the public was being conditioned by subsonics to avoid the dangerous combination of throngs and theaters. A simple matter of psychological association— Within four months the bootleg places had disappeared and the Sonatone supertheaters had closed for want of patronage. The Tones, father and son, were not happy. But everybody connected with Vox-View was.
Except Gallegher. He had collected a staggering check from Brock, and instantly cabled to Europe for an incredible quantity of canned beer. Now, brooding over his sorrows, he lay on the laboratory couch and siphoned a highball down his throat. Joe, as usual, was before the mirror, watching the wheels go round.
“Joe,” Gallegher said.
“Yes? What can I do?”
“Oh, nothing.” That was the trouble. Gallegher fished a crumpled cable tape out of his pocket and morosely read it once more. The beer cannery in Europe had decided to change its tactics. From now on, the cable said, their beer would be put up in the usual plastibulbs, in conformance with custom and demand. No more cans.
There wasn’t anything put up in cans in this day and age. Not even beer, now.
So what good was a robot who was built and conditioned to be a can opener?
Gallegher sighed and mixed another highball—a stiff one. Joe postured proudly before the mirror.
Then he extended his eyes, opposed them, and quickly liberated his subconscious through autohypnotism. Joe could appreciate himself better that way.
Gallegher sighed again. Dogs were beginning to bark like mad for blocks around. Oh, well.
He took another drink and felt better. Presently, he thought, it would be time to sing “Frankie and Johnnie.” Maybe he and Joe might have a duet—one baritone and one inaudible sub- or supersonic. Close harmony.
Ten minutes later Gallegher was singing a duet with his can opener.
The End
Great story, eh?
Stories that Inspired Me
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Marshall Zebatinsky felt foolish. He felt as though there were eyes staring through the grimy store-front glass and across the scarred wooden partition; eyes watching him.
He felt no confidence in the old clothes he had resurrected or the turned-down brim of a hat he never otherwise wore or the glasses he had left in their case. He felt foolish and it made the lines in his forehead deeper and his young-old face a little paler.
He would never be able to explain to anyone why a nuclear physicist such as himself should visit a numerologist. (Never, he thought. Never.) Hell, he could not explain it to himself except that he had let his wife talk him into it.
The numerologist sat behind an old desk that must have been secondhand when bought. No desk could get that old with only one owner.
The same might almost be said of his clothes.
He was little and dark and peered at Zebatinsky with little dark eyes that were brightly alive.
He said, “I have never had a physicist for a client before, Dr. Zebatinsky.”
Zebatinsky flushed at once. “You understand this is confidential.”
The numerologist smiled so that wrinkles creased about the corners of his mouth and the skin around his chin stretched. “All my dealings are confidential.”
Zebatinsky said, “I think I ought to tell you one thing. I don’t believe in numerology and I don’t expect to begin believing in it. If that makes a difference, say so now.”
“But why are you here, then?”
“My wife thinks you may have something, whatever it is. I promised her and I am here.” He shrugged and the feeling of folly grew more acute.
“And what is it you are looking for? Money? Security? Long life? What?”
Zebatinsky sat for a long moment while the numerologist watched him quietly and made no move to hurry his client. Zebatinsky thought: What do I say anyway? That I’m thirty-four and without a future?
He said, “I want success. I want recognition.”
“A better job?”
“A different job. A different kind of job. Right now, I’m part of a team, working under orders. Teams! That’s all government research is. You’re a violinist lost in a symphony orchestra.”
“And you want to solo.”
“I want to get out of a team and into-into me.”
Zebatinsky felt carried away, almost lightheaded, just putting this into words to someone other than his wife.
He said, “Twenty-five years ago, with my kind of training and my kind of ability, I would have gotten to work on the first nuclear power plants. Today I’d be running one of them or I’d be head of a pure research group at a university.
But with my start these days where will I be twenty-five years from now?
Nowhere. Still on the team. Still carrying my 2 per cent of the ball. I’m drowning in an anonymous crowd of nuclear physicists, and what I want is room on dry land, if you see what I mean.”
The numerologist nodded slowly. “You realize, Dr. Zebatinsky, that I don’t guarantee success.”
Zebatinsky, for all his lack of faith, felt a sharp bite of disappointment.
“You don’t? Then what the devil do you guarantee?”
“An improvement in the probabilities. My work is statistical in nature. Since you deal with atoms, I think you understand the laws of statistics.”
“Do you?” asked the physicist sourly.
“I do, as a matter of fact. I am a mathematician and I work mathematically. I don’t tell you this in order to raise my fee. That is standard. Fifty dollars. But since you are a scientist, you can appreciate the nature of my work better than my other clients. It is even a pleasure to be able to explain to you.”
Zebatinsky said, “I’d rather you wouldn’t, if you don’t mind. It’s no use telling me about the numerical values of letters, their mystic significance and that kind of thing. I don’t consider that mathematics.
Let’s get to the point-” The numerologist said, “Then you want me to help you provided I don’t embarrass you by telling you the silly nonscientific basis of the way in which I helped you. Is that it?”
“All right. That’s it.”
“But you still work on the assumption that I am a numerologist, and I am not. I call myself that so that the police won’t bother me and” (the little man chuckled dryly) “so that the psychiatrists won’t either. I am a mathematician; an honest one.” Zebatinsky smiled.
The numerologist said, “I build computers. I study probable futures.” “What?” “Does that sound worse than numerology to you? Why? Given enough data and a computer capable of sufficient number of operations in unit time, the future is predictable, at least in terms of probabilities. When you compute the motions of a missile in order to aim an anti-missile, isn’t it the future you’re predicting? The missile and antimissile would not collide if the future were predicted incorrectly. I do the same thing. Since I work with a greater number of variables, my results are less accurate.”
“You mean you’ll predict my future?”
“Very approximately. Once I have done that, I will modify the data by changing your name and no other fact about you. I throw that modified datum into the operation-program. Then I try other modified names. I study each modified future and find one that contains a greater degree of recognition for you than the future that now lies ahead of you. Or no, let me put it another way. I will find you a future in which the probability of adequate recognition is higher than the probability of that in your present future.”
“Why change my name?”
“That is the only change I ever make, for several reasons. Number one, it is a simple change. After all, if I make a great change or many changes, so many new variables enter that I can no longer interpret the result. My machine is still crude. Number two, it is a reasonable change. I can’t change your height, can I, or the color of your eyes, or even your temperament. Number three, it is a significant change. Names mean a lot to people. Finally, number four, it is a common change that is done every day by various people.”
Zebatinsky said, “What if you don’t find a better future?”
“That is the risk you will have to take. You will be no worse off than now, my friend.”
Zebatinsky stared at the little man uneasily, “I don’t believe any of this. I’d sooner believe numerology.”
The numerologist sighed. “I thought a person like yourself would feel more comfortable with the truth. I want to help you and there is much yet for you to do. If you believed me a numerologist, you would not follow through. I thought if I told you the truth you would let me help you.”
Zebatinsky said, “If you can see the future-”
“Why am I not the richest man on earth? Is that it? But I am rich-in all I want. You want recognition and I want to be left alone. I do my work. No one bothers me. That makes me a billionaire. I need a little real money and this I get from people such as yourself. Helping people is nice and perhaps a psychiatrist would say it gives me a feeling of power and feeds my ego. Now-do you want me to help you?”
“How much did you say?”
“Fifty dollars. I will need a great deal of biographical information from you but I have prepared a form to guide you. It’s a little long, I’m afraid. Still, if you can get it in the mail by the end of the week, I will have an answer for you by the-”
(he put out his lower lip and frowned in mental calculation)
“the twentieth of next month.”
“Five weeks? So long?”
“I have other work, my friend, and other clients. If I were a fake, I could do it much more quickly.
It is agreed then?”
Zebatinsky rose. “Well, agreed.-This is all confidential, now.”
“Perfectly. You will have all your information back when I tell you what change to make and you have my word that I will never make any further use of any of it.”
The nuclear physicist stopped at the door.
“Aren’t you afraid I might tell someone you’re not a numerologist?”
The numerologist shook his head. “Who would believe you, my friend? Even supposing you were willing to admit to anyone that you’ve been here.”
…
On the twentieth, Marshall Zebatinsky was at the paint-peeling door, glancing sideways at the shop front with the little card up against the glass reading “Numerology,” dimmed and scarcely legible through the dust.
He peered in, almost hoping that someone else would be there already so that he might have an excuse to tear up the wavering intention in his mind and go home.
He had tried wiping the thing out of his mind several times. He could never stick at filling out the necessary data for long. It was embarrassing to work at it. He felt incredibly silly filling out the names of his friends, the cost of his house, whether his wife had had any miscarriages, if so, when.
He abandoned it. But he.couldn’t stick at stopping altogether either. He returned to it each evening.
It was the thought of the computer that did it, perhaps; the thought of the infernal gall of the little man pretending he had a computer.
The temptation to call the bluff, see what would happen, proved irresistible after all. He finally sent off the completed data by ordinary mail, putting on nine cents worth of stamps without weighing the letter. If it comes back, he thought, I’ll call it off.
It didn’t come back. He looked into the shop now and it was empty. Zebatinsky had no choice but to enter. A bell tinkled. The old numerologist emerged from a curtained door.
“Yes?-Ah, Dr. Zebatinsky.”
“You remember me?” Zebatinsky tried to smile. “Oh, yes.”
“What’s the verdict?” The numerologist moved one gnarled hand over the other.
“Before that, sir, there’s a little-”
“A little matter of the fee?”
“I have already done the work, sir. I have earned the money.”
Zebatinsky raised no objection. He was prepared to pay. If he had come this far, it would be silly to turn back just because of the money.
He counted out five ten-dollar bills and shoved them across the counter.
“Well?”
The numerologist counted the bills again slowly, then pushed them into a cash drawer in his desk.
He said, “Your case was very interesting. I would advise you to change your name to Sebatinsky.”
“Seba-How do you spell that?” “S-e-b-a-t-i-n-s-k-y.” Zebatinsky stared indignantly.
“You mean change the initial? Change the Z to an S? That’s all?”
“It’s enough. As long as the change is adequate, a small change is safer than a big one.”
“But how could the change affect anything?”
“How could any name?” asked the numerologist softly.
“I can’t say. It may, somehow, and that’s all I can say. Remember, I don’t guarantee results. Of course, if you do not wish to make the change, leave things as they are. But in that case I cannot refund the fee.”
Zebatinsky said, “What do I do? Just tell everyone to spell my name with an 5?”
“If you want my advice, consult a lawyer. Change your name legally. He can advise you on little things.”
“How long will it all take? I mean for things to improve for me?”
“How can I tell? Maybe never. Maybe tomorrow.”
“But you saw the future. You claim you see it.”
“Not as in a crystal ball. No, no, Dr. Zebatinsky. All I get out of my computer is a set of coded figures. I can recite probabilities to you, but I saw no pictures.”
Zebatinsky turned and walked rapidly out of the place. Fifty dollars to change a letter! Fifty dollars for Sebatinsky! Lord, what a name! Worse than Zebatinsky.
…
It took another month before he could make up his mind to see a lawyer, and then he finally went. He told himself he could always change the name back. Give it a chance, he told himself. Hell, there was no law against it.
…
Henry Brand looked through the folder page by page, with the practiced eye of one who had been in Security for fourteen years. He didn’t have to read every word. Anything peculiar would have leaped off the paper and punched him in the eye. He said, “The man looks clean to me.”
Henry Brand looked clean, too; with a soft, rounded paunch and a pink and freshly scrubbed complexion. It was as though continuous contact with all sorts of human failings, from possible ignorance to possible treason, had compelled him into frequent washings.
Lieutenant Albert Quincy, who had brought him the folder, was young and filled with the responsibility of being Security officer at the Hanford Station.
“But why Sebatinsky?” he demanded. “Why not?”
“Because it doesn’t make sense. Zebatinsky is a foreign name and I’d change it myself if I had it, but I’d change it to something Anglo-Saxon. If Zebatinsky had done that, it would make sense and I wouldn’t give it a second thought. But why change a Z to an S? I think we must find out what his reasons were.”
“Has anyone asked him directly?”
“Certainly. In ordinary conversation, of course. I was careful to arrange that. He won’t say anything more than that he’s tired of being last in the alphabet.”
“That could be, couldn’t it, Lieutenant?”
“It could, but why not change his name to Sands or Smith, if he wants an S? Or if he’s that tired of Z, why not go the whole way and change it to an A? Why not a name like-uh-Aarons?”
“Not Anglo-Saxon enough,” muttered Brand. Then, “But there’s nothing to pin against the man. No matter how queer a name change may be, that alone can’t be used against anyone.”
Lieutenant Quincy looked markedly unhappy.
Brand said, “Tell me, Lieutenant, there must be something specific that bothers you. Something in your mind; some theory; some gimmick. What is it?”
The lieutenant frowned. His light eyebrows drew together and his lips tightened.
“Well, damn it, sir, the man’s a Russian.” Brand said, “He’s not that. He’s a third-generation American.”
“I mean his name’s Russian.” Brand’s face lost some of its deceptive softness. “No, Lieutenant, wrong again. Polish.”
The lieutenant pushed his hands out impatiently, palms up. “Same thing.” Brand, whose mother’s maiden name had been Wiszewski, snapped, “Don’t tell that to a Pole, Lieutenant.”
-Then, more thoughtfully, “Or to a Russian either, I suppose.”
“What I’m trying to say, sir,” said the lieutenant, reddening, “is that the Poles and Russians are both on the other side of the Curtain.”
“We all know that.”
“And Zebatinsky or Sebatinsky, whatever you want to call him, may have relatives there.”
“He’s third generation. He might have second cousins there, I suppose. So what?”
“Nothing in itself. Lots of people may have distant relatives there. But Zebatinsky changed his name.”
“Go on.”
“Maybe he’s trying to distract attention. Maybe a second cousin over there is getting too famous and our Zebatinsky is afraid that the relationship may spoil his own chances of advancement.”
“Changing his name won’t do any good. He’d still be a second cousin.”
“Sure, but he wouldn’t feel as though he were shoving the relationship in our face.”
“Have you ever heard of any Zebatinsky on the other side?”
“No, sir.” “Then he can’t be too famous. How would our Zebatinsky know about him?”
“He might keep in touch with his own relatives. That would be suspicious under the circumstances, he being a nuclear physicist.”
Methodically, Brand went through the folder again. “This is awfully thin, Lieutenant. It’s thin enough to be completely invisible.”
“Can you offer any other explanation, sir, of why he ought to change his name in just this way?”
“No, I can’t. I admit that.” “Then I think, sir, we ought to investigate. We ought to look for any men named Zebatinsky on the other side and see if we can draw a connection.”
The lieutenant’s voice rose a trifle as a new thought occurred to him. “He might be changing his name to withdraw attention from them; I mean to protect them.”
“He’s doing just the opposite, I think.”
“He doesn’t realize that, maybe, but protecting them could be his motive.”
Brand sighed. “All right, well tackle the Zebatinsky angle.-But if nothing turns up, Lieutenant, we drop the matter. Leave the folder with me.”
…
When the information finally reached Brand, he had all but forgotten the lieutenant and his theories. His first thought on receiving data that included a list of seventeen biographies of seventeen Russian and Polish citizens, all named Zebatinsky, was: What the devil is this?
Then he remembered, swore mildly, and began reading.
It started on the American side. Marshall Zebatinsky (fingerprints) had been born in Buffalo, New York (date, hospital statistics). His father had been born in Buffalo as well, his mother in Oswego, New York. His paternal grandparents had both been born in Bialystok, Poland (date of entry into the United States, dates of citizenship, photographs). The seventeen Russian and Polish citizens named Zebatinsky were all descendants of people who, some half century earlier, had lived in or near Bialystok. Presumably, they could be relatives, but this was not explicitly stated in any particular case. (Vital statistics in East Europe during the aftermath of World War I were kept poorly, if at all.)
Brand passed through the individual life histories of the current Zebatinsky men and women (amazing how thoroughly intelligence did its work; probably the Russians’ was as thorough).
He stopped at one and his smooth forehead sprouted lines as his eyebrows shot upward. He put that one to one side and went on.
Eventually, he stacked everything but that one and returned it to its envelope. Staring at that one, he tapped a neatly kept fingernail on the desk. With a certain reluctance, he went to call on Dr. Paul Kristow of the Atomic Energy Commission.
…
Dr. Kristow listened to the matter with a stony expression. He lifted a little finger occasionally to dab at his bulbous nose and remove a nonexistent speck. His hair was iron gray, thinning and cut short. He might as well have been bald.
He said, “No, I never heard of any Russian Zebatinsky. But then, I never heard of the American one either.”
“Well,” Brand scratched at his hairline over one temple and said slowly, “I don’t think there’s anything to this, but I don’t like to drop it too soon. I have a young lieutenant on my tail and you know what they can be like. I don’t want to do anything that will drive him to a Congressional committee. Besides, the fact is that one of the Russian Zebatinsky fellows, Mikhail Andreyevich Zebatinsky, is a nuclear physicist. Are you sure you never heard of him?”
“Mikhail Andreyevich Zebatinsky? No-No, I never did. Not that that proves anything.”
“I could say it was coincidence, but you know that would be piling it a trifle high. One Zebatinsky here and one Zebatinsky there, both nuclear physicists, and the one here suddenly changes his name to Sebatinsky, and goes around anxious about it, too. He won’t allow misspelling.
He says, emphatically, ‘Spell my name with an S.’ It all just fits well enough to make my spy-conscious lieutenant begin to look a little too good.
-And another peculiar thing is that the Russian Zebatinsky dropped out of sight just about a year ago.” Dr. Kristow said stolidly, “Executed!”
“He might have been. Ordinarily, I would even assume so, though the Russians are not more foolish than we are and don’t kill any nuclear physicist they can avoid killing. The thing is there’s another reason why a nuclear physicist, of all people, might suddenly disappear. I don’t have to tell you.”
“Crash research; top secret. I take it that’s what you mean. Do you believe that’s it?”
“Put it together with everything else, add in the lieutenant’s intuition, and I just begin to wonder.”
“Give me that biography.” Dr. Kristow reached for the sheet of paper and read it over twice. He shook his head. Then he said, “I’ll check this in Nuclear Abstracts.”
…
Nuclear Abstracts lined one wall of Dr. Kristow’s study in neat little boxes, each filled with its squares of microfilm. The A.E.C. man used his projector on the indices while Brand watched with what patience he could muster.
Dr. Kristow muttered, “A Mikhail Zebatinsky authored or co-authored half a dozen papers in the Soviet journals in the last half dozen years.
We’ll get out the abstracts and maybe we can make something out of it. I doubt it.”
A selector nipped out the appropriate squares. Dr. Kristow lined them up, ran them through the projector, and by degrees an expression of odd intentness crossed his face.
He said, “That’s odd.”
Brand said, “What’s odd?”
Dr. Kristow sat back. “I’d rather not say just yet. Can you get me a list of other nuclear physicists who have dropped out of sight in the Soviet Union hi the last year?”
“You mean you see something?”
“Not really. Not if I were just looking at any one of these papers. It’s just that looking at all of them and knowing that this man may be on a crash research program and, on top of that, having you putting suspicions in my head-”
He shrugged. “It’s nothing.”
Brand said earnestly, “I wish you’d say what’s on your mind. We may as well be foolish about this together.”
“If you feel that way-It’s just possible this man may have been inching toward gamma-ray reflection.”
“And the significance?”
“If a reflecting shield against gamma rays could be devised, individual shelters could be built to protect against fallout. It’s fallout that’s the real danger, you know. A hydrogen bomb might destroy a city but the fallout could slow-kill the population over a strip thousands of miles long and hundreds wide.”
Brand said quickly, “Are we doing any work on this?”
“No.”
“And if they get it and we don’t, they can destroy the United States in toto at the cost of, say, ten cities, after they have their shelter program completed.”
“That’s far in the future.-And, what are we getting in a hurrah about? All this is built on one man changing one letter in his name.”
“All right, I’m insane,” said Brand. “But I don’t leave the matter at this point. Not at this point. I’ll get you your list of disappearing nuclear physicists if I have to go to Moscow to get it.”
…
He got the list.
They went through all the research papers authored by any of them. They called a full meeting of the Commission, then of the nuclear brains of the nation. Dr. Kristow walked out of an all night session, finally, part of which the President himself had attended. Brand met him. Both looked haggard and in need of sleep.
Brand said, “Well?” Kristow nodded.
“Most agree. Some are doubtful even yet, but most agree.”
“How about you? Are you sure?”
“I’m far from sure, but let me put it this way. It’s easier to believe that the Soviets are working on a gamma-ray shield than to believe that all the data we’ve uncovered has no interconnection.”
“Has it been decided that we’re to go on shield research, too?”
“Yes.” Kristow’s hand went back over his short, bristly hair, making a dry, whispery sound. “We’re going to give it everything we’ve got. Knowing the papers written by the men who disappeared, we can get right on their heels. We may even beat them to it.
-Of course, they’ll find out we’re working on it.”
“Let them,” said Brand. “Let them. It will keep them from attacking. I don’t see any percentage in selling ten of our cities just to get ten of theirs-if we’re both protected and they’re too dumb to know that”
“But not too soon. We don’t want them finding out too soon. What about the American Zebatinsky-Sebatinsky?”
Brand looked solemn and shook his head. “There’s nothing to connect him with any of this even yet. Hell, we’ve looked. I agree with you, of course. He’s in a sensitive spot where he is now and we can’t afford to keep him there even if he’s in the clear.”
“We can’t kick him out just like that, either, or the Russians will start wondering.”
“Do you have any suggestions?” They were walking down the long corridor toward the distant elevator in the emptiness of four in the morning. Dr. Kristow said, “I’ve looked into his work. He’s a good man, better than most, and not happy in his job, either. He hasn’t the temperament for teamwork.”
“So?”
“But he is the type for an academic job. If we can arrange to have a large university offer him a chair in physics, I think he would take it gladly. There would be enough nonsensitive areas to keep him occupied; we would be able to keep him in close view; and it would be a natural development.
The Russians might not start scratching their heads. What do you think?” Brand nodded. “It’s an idea. Even sounds good. I’ll put it up to the chief.”
They stepped into the elevator and Brand allowed himself to wonder about it all. What an ending to what had started with one letter of a name.
…
Marshall Sebatinsky could hardly talk. He said to his wife, “I swear I don’t see how this happened. I wouldn’t have thought they knew me from a meson detector. – Good Lord, Sophie, Associate Professor of Physics at Princeton. Think of it.”
Sophie said, “Do you suppose it was your talk at the A.P.S. meetings?”
“I don’t see how. It was a thoroughly uninspired paper once everyone in the division was done hacking at it.”
He snapped his fingers.
“It must have been Princeton that was investigating me. That’s it. You know all those forms I’ve been filling out in the last six months; those interviews they wouldn’t explain. Honestly, I was beginning to think I was under suspicion as a subversive.-It was Princeton investigating me. They’re thorough.”
“Maybe it was your name,” said Sophie. “I mean the change.”
“Watch me now. My professional life will be my own finally. I’ll make my mark. Once I have a chance to do my work without-”
He stopped and turned to look at his wife. “My name! You mean the S.”
“You didn’t get the offer till after you changed your name, did you?”
“Not till long after. No, that part’s just coincidence. I’ve told you before Sophie, it was just a case of throwing out fifty dollars to please you. Lord, what a fool I’ve felt all these months insisting on that stupid S.”
Sophie was instantly on the defensive. “I didn’t make you do it, Marshall. I suggested it but I didn’t nag you about it. Don’t say I did. Besides, it did turn out well. I’m sure it was the name that did this.” Sebatinsky smiled indulgently. “Now that’s superstition.”
“I don’t care what you call it, but you’re not changing your name back.”
“Well, no, I suppose not. I’ve had so much trouble getting them to spell my name with an S, that the thought of making everyone move back is more than I want to face. Maybe I ought to change my name to Jones, eh?”
He laughed almost hysterically. But Sophie didn’t. “You leave it alone.”
“Oh, all right, I’m just joking. -Tell you what. I’ll step down to that old fellow’s place one of these days and tell him everything worked out and slip him another tenner. Will that satisfy you?”
He was exuberant enough to do so the next week. He assumed no disguise this time. He wore his glasses and his ordinary suit and was minus a hat. He was even humming as he approached the store front and stepped to one side to allow a weary, sour-faced woman to maneuver her twin baby carriage past. He put his hand on the door handle and his thumb on the iron latch. The latch didn’t give to his thumb’s downward pressure.
The door was locked.
The dusty, dim card with “Numerologist” on it was gone, now that he looked. Another sign, printed and beginning to yellow and curl with the sunlight, said “To let.”
Sebatinsky shrugged. That was that. He had tried to do the right thing.
…
Haround, happily divested of corporeal excrescence, capered happily and his energy vortices glowed a dim purple over cubic hypermiles.
He said, “Have I won? Have I won?”
Mestack was withdrawn, his vortices almost a sphere of light in hyperspace. “I haven’t calculated it yet.”
“Well, go ahead. You won’t change the results any by taking a long time.-Wowf, it’s a relief to get back into clean energy. It took me a microcycle of time as a corporeal body; a nearly used-up one, too. But it was worth it to show you.”
Mestack said, “All right, I admit you stopped a nuclear war on the planet.”
“Is that or is that not a Class A effect?”
“It is a Class A effect. Of course it is.”
“All right. Now check and see if I didn’t get that Class A effect with a Class F stimulus. I changed one letter of one name.”
“What?”
“Oh, never mind. It’s all there. I’ve worked it out for you.” Mestack said reluctantly, “I yield. A Class F stimulus.”
“Then I win. Admit it.”
“Neither one of us will win when the Watchman gets a look at this.”
Haround, who had been an elderly numerologist on Earth and was still somewhat unsettled with relief at no longer being one, said, “You weren’t worried about that when you made the bet.”
“I didn’t think you’d be fool enough to go through with it.”
“Heat-waste! Besides, why worry? The Watchman will never detect a Class F stimulus.”
“Maybe not, but he’ll detect a Class A effect. Those corporeals will still be around after a dozen microcycles. The Watchman will notice that.”
“The trouble with you, Mestack, is that you don’t want to pay off. You’re stalling.”
“I’ll pay. But just wait till the Watchman finds out we’ve been working on an unassigned problem and made an unallowed-for change. Of course, if we-” He paused.
Haround said, “All right, we’ll change it back. He’ll never know.” There was a crafty glow to Mestack’s brightening energy pattern.
“You’ll need another Class F stimulus if you expect him not to notice.” Haround hesitated. “I can do it.”
“I doubt it.”
“I could.”
“Would you be willing to bet on that, too?” Jubilation was creeping into Mestack’s radiations.
“Sure,” said the goaded Haround.
“I’ll put those corporeals right back where they were and the Watchman will never know the difference.”
Mestack followed through his advantage. “Suspend the first bet, then. Triple the stakes on the second.” The mounting eagerness of the gamble caught at Haround, too.
“All right, I’m game. Triple the stakes.”
“Done, then!”
“Done.”
The End
Stories that Inspired Me
Here are
reprints in full text of stories that inspired me, but that are nearly
impossible to find in China. I place them here as sort of a personal
library that I can use for inspiration. The reader is welcome to come
and enjoy a read or two as well.
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