(copy of) Introduction to the art of Mitch O’Connell. (duplicate)

“The Prince of Pop Art”, Mitch O’Connell is a beloved, cherished and respected leader of the “Lowbrow” art movement and one of the greatest illustrators of all time! Inspired by Pin-ups, hot-rods, comics, sideshows and all things kitsch, cuddly and curvaceous, he takes the vintage and makes it contemporary with his distinctive, eye-popping Pop Art imagery.

“I'm tempted to tear out the pages and hang them on the wall!" 

-USA Today 
Mitch O’Connell 10
Magazine work includes Newsweek, Time, Rolling Stone, New Yorker, Entertainment Weekly, GQ and Playboy!

He’s happy to play nice and follow instructions with illustration assignments for nearly every publication on Earth.

"We're smitten with everything Mitch has ever done. There's no escaping that his art is awesome!" 

-Bizarre magazine 

Magazine work includes Newsweek, Time, Rolling Stone, New Yorker, Entertainment Weekly, GQ and Playboy! Overnight deadlines met for newspapers include The New York Times, Village Voice, Chicago Tribune and dozens more!

Mitch O’Connell 2
He’s been featured in the world of rock ’n’ roll on album covers and posters for groups from The Ramones to Weezer to No Doubt to Moby!

He’s been featured in the world of rock ’n’ roll on album covers and posters for groups from The Ramones to Weezer to No Doubt to Moby! Mitch’s doodles are utilized in advertising campaigns for major companies from McDonalds to KFC, 7-11 to Coca-Cola! And when he’s not working with an art director, his fine art paintings have been exhibited in sold-out gallery shows from New York to Berlin, Tokyo to Miami and Hollywood to Mexico City.

"An eye-popping curation of the pop artist's finest illustrations!" 

-Yahoo! Music 

His sexy tattoo flash is a fixture on the walls of tattoo shops around the word (and on the bodies of thousands of tattoo lovers) with many of the designs collected in two bestselling books “ Mitch O’Connell Tattoos Volume 1” and “Mitch O’Connell Tattoos Volume 2“!  

Mitch O’Connell 4
His sexy tattoo flash is a fixture on the walls of tattoo shops around the word (and on the bodies of thousands of tattoo lovers) with many of the designs collected in two bestselling books.

His newest book, “Mitch O’Connell, the World’s Best Artist by Mitch O’Connell” is a huge career-spanning retrospective look at his art from the age of 3 to now!

This book is…

The book is…

AWESOME!

Just how many book reviews get a 100% love ith five stars! Not many. This should tell you all something.
Just how many book reviews get a 100% love with five stars! Not many. This should tell you all something.
"A pop surrealist and low-brow luminary ...an over-the-top, kitschy, vibrant mood-elevating coffee table book!" 

-Huffington Post 

The following are some reviews for those of you who are a tad unsure of this artists greatness…

Mitch O’Connell 5
And then there’s the AWESOME, AMAZING ARTWORK on the inside. From tattooed vixens to big-eyed bunny rabbits, there’s something here for the whole family…if you have a family where the kiddies are allowed to look at pictures of nekkid women. There is a mind-altering feast for the eyes in store for you.
Earlier  today, if you heard a sort of weird, high-pitched shrieking noise, not  unlike the mating cry of some long extinct bird, wafting high above the  trees, far off in distance...it was just ME receiving a package from my  UPS Heart Throb that contained THIS BOOK, quite possibly THE BEST BOOK  EVER!

First of all - it has a vinyl cover. A VINYL COVER!!!  Perfect for tubby-time viewing, or perhaps for enjoying in the  inflatable wading pool on those hot summer days.

And then there's  the AWESOME, AMAZING ARTWORK on the inside. From tattooed vixens to  big-eyed bunny rabbits, there's something here for the whole family...if  you have a family where the kiddies are allowed to look at pictures of  nekkid women. There is a mind-altering feast for the eyes in store for  you.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to get back to squeezing  that vinyl cover. (This is apparently a new fetish I didn't know I had,  and to tell you the truth, it's got me a little worried.)

-  I'm Still Squealing!
A review of his book on Amazon.com

If  you liked the art on the cover, well, there is more of it inside. The  book itself is reminiscent of retro children's books with a foam / vinyl  embossed type cover. It even has glitter. Its something you can't  appreciate on the internet. The size is thick with tons of vibrant  reproductions of his artwork. 

There is lots of detail like the pages  have a contoured edge. The book construction itself is amazing. The  reason I bought this on amazon was because my bookstore's copy was  damaged. Seeing it in real life made me want this book, so I had to get  it. 

Its just fun to pick up and flip through. 

Chances are you are an  artist and will find some inspiration in here even if it is a little bit  crazy/freaky. I wouldn't give this book to a child, the audience is  more adult. I can't say this is lacking anything as it is just an art  book with good examples. The time that went into this book puts it over  the top. 

Worth 5 stars. I can see why 66 people thought it was awesome. I  don't know who would rate this a 4 or less unless they had a problem  with amazon. Sweet! 
Mitch O’Connell 6
The book itself is reminiscent of retro children’s books with a foam / vinyl embossed type cover. It even has glitter. Its something you can’t appreciate on the internet. The size is thick with tons of vibrant reproductions of his artwork.
Indirectly,  I've been a fan of Mitch's art since roughly, 1987. I worked as a  designer at a newspaper and we had subscriptions to two clip art  services (big, hulking glossy printed pages of several images, covering  nearly anything that can be advertised). 

One was Metro and the other was  Dynamic Graphics. Dynamic Graphics was my "go-to" service as, each  month, I scoured it's pages for that flashy, interesting, fun art with  the peculiar "MoC" signature. 

Since then, I learned the MoC was a cool  artist named Mitch O'Connell and I saw his work here and there in Heavy  Metal and some comics. I've moved on from the newspaper business but,  thanks in part to the Internet and various art books, I've been able to  follow Mitch's enthusiastic, dynamic work the last several years. 

I've  always admired his bold, daring renderings. As an illustrator myself, I  find inspiration in his lines and color palette. Today, I'm proud to say  I now own this comprehensive book. Tons of color, tons of  illustrations, tons of inspiration. 

Even the design of the book itself  is daring and bold. I've perused it several times since receiving it in  the mail and I plan on perusing it several more times, seeing something  new and interesting each time I open the book. 

Mr. O'Connell's art  speaks for itself but I'll say that It's unique a completely different  style than what anyone may be used to. I especially like the 70s-style.  He not only acknowledges it, he embraces it and you have to admire that.  I highly recommend! 

- Lived up to my expectations
The  puffy plastic cover over Mitch O'Connell The World's Greatest Artist  gives a damn good indication of what's inside: A massive, whopping,  ridiculously definitive collection of Mitch... and all Mitch.

From  the cutesy-sweet to the clip art to the truly naughty, here is  EVERYthing.  Superb book design makes the collection seem to fly, float  and take on a life of its own.

There was a long, long wait for this terrific tome; it was truly worth the wait. WOW! 

- Holy moley! All this and World War, too. 
Mitch O’Connell 3
The puffy plastic cover over Mitch O’Connell The World’s Greatest Artist gives a damn good indication of what’s inside: A massive, whopping, ridiculously definitive collection of Mitch… and all Mitch. From the cutesy-sweet to the clip art to the truly naughty, here is EVERYthing. Superb book design makes the collection seem to fly, float and take on a life of its own.
This  book is so amazing you'll want to sleep with it tucked under your head.  And thanks to the soft puffy cover you can! 

Try it, i did. Hoping some  of O'Connell's brilliance would seep into my brain. 

Fat chance! If you  have been a long time devote of O'Connell or have no idea who he is  (been living under a rock?) You NEED this book! 

By merely placing this  book on your coffee table you will immediately notice that you have  become more attractive to the world. 

You'll start getting more dates  than you can fit in your calendar. And you don't want to be left behind  when it hits the New York Times best seller list, do you? I didn't think  so. Get in on Mitch-Mania now! 

- My Bible has arrived! 
I  cant put this book down!! It had me hooked just with the glitter cover.  Wow!! I've loved this mans work for years. I can sit and look at his  art and tattoo flash for hours. This is a great addition to my  collection of his books and art work. Filled with beautiful women and  kitsch galore. This book is VERY large and informative. We learn more  about the man, myth and legend!!!  It's also a great price for so much  magnificent eye candy. I highly recommend it to any lover of Pop,  Surrealism, Kitsch or just Damn good art! :) 

- 5.0 out of 5 stars  This book is Fan-Stinken-Tastic!!
Mitch O’Connell 6
I cant put this book down!! It had me hooked just with the glitter cover. Wow!! I’ve loved this mans work for years. I can sit and look at his art and tattoo flash for hours. This is a great addition to my collection of his books and art work. Filled with beautiful women and kitsch galore.
It  has a sparkly cover and It's Mitch! So, It's good. I usually only read  on the Crapper but I already crapped today. I may just break my own rule  and read this while sitting on the couch! 

- The most important book you will ever buy 
EXCITEMENT! FUN! NUDITY! THRILLS!
BALLOONS! NUDITY! ALCOHOL! CAKE!
HILARITY! NUDITY!

When  a book has that as it's opening intro you know you have stumbled across  the new bible.  Mitch may be the world's best artist (his words,  mentioned many many times in this book) he is also probably the world's  funniest artist.

This book is comical to the extreme, louds of  laughing out loud guffaws and so much drink sprayed across the room,  luckily I chose to read this in lots of different locations so  everywhere got a nice even coating of beer.

This book is a huge  collection of his artwork, from drawings as a kid to early adverts he  was commissioned to draw to posters, tattoos and toilet seats, it is all  here.  The history of his rise to greatness and even a tour of his  mansion (puts the Taj Mahal to shame) can be found in this book.  Also  its the only book I've come across that has a gift shop at the end.

Hopefully there will be more books from Mitch to entertain us all.  I'm now off to locate him to get myself one of his tattoos. 

- World's best book 
The  second worst thing about moving to Wisconsin (first being living under  incipient fascism)is not having access to Mitch O'Connell. A lot of the  art in this book only appeared in posters , leaflets and other material  distributed in and around Chicago (Mitch 's art has appeared on  everything from pencils and skateboards to delightful women's bare  butts- I personally am waiting for the whoopee cushion).  

Years ago I  could pick the stuff up tear it off walls and enjoy it! My 20 year  deprivation has been cured with this book collecting Mitch's unique  (well sometimes a bit bizarre) interpretations of reality. 

The world  goes into Mitch's brain gets mashed around and comes out well  wonderfully different- and you can see it all here in this book without  skulking around sleazy burlesque houses, grunge band concerts and other  affairs- though all of the latter do enhance the experience! Only thing  that would make it better would be if it came with an inflatable Little  Puddles doll. 

- Modest Title Masks True Genius! 
Mitch O’Connell 7
This book is a huge collection of his artwork, from drawings as a kid to early adverts he was commissioned to draw to posters, tattoos and toilet seats, it is all here. The history of his rise to greatness and even a tour of his mansion (puts the Taj Mahal to shame) can be found in this book. Also its the only book I’ve come across that has a gift shop at the end.
This  is the only art book I own that actually entertained me.  Face it -  most art books you pay for nothing- a lot of white space around a a  reproduction of a piece you can't afford. That means you are paying most  of the cover price on blank or what design shysters call negative  space. O'Connell doesn't waste anything- including your time. 

Rather  than hiring some fancy college boy shill to write essays, O'Connell does  the writing his'sef which is why I am am actually going to read every  word- eventually. Right now I'm just happy to skim and look at all the  purty five star pictures.

By the way, not only are there sparkles in  the puffy plasticine cover- its spot glitter- which means it was  probably really expensive other than just expensive. 

- Gave Me A Stiffy 
Having  known the artist for about 35 years, I've had the great pleasure of  watching him progress from talented teen to peerless paragon of pop art.  Now, with the publication of this classy compendium, anyone who is even  remotely interested in popular art can share in this pleasure. With  exceedingly-deft hand, keen eye, and acerbic wit, Mitch O’Connell has  come to occupy a place in pop surrealism that is shared with only a few  artists --Robert Williams, self-described progenitor of the ‘Lowbrow’  movement, springs to mind.

While many of the pop surrealists or other  Lowbrow artists share the same interest in skewering the social,  cultural, political, and sexual mores of our consumerist culture, no one  --for my money, anyway-- does a better, funnier job of sending up the  obsessions of the modern world. While his technical skill is beyond  reproach, and repeated study of his work will prove this, it’s Mitch’s  sense of humor that will find readers coming back to this volume for  amusement long after the average coffee table book has been shelved and  forgotten.

In a wonderful addition to the content, the  exceedingly-high production values of the book --with a brilliant,  sparkled and textured cover; heavy, glossy-stock pages; and stunning  page layouts-- will make even those who are not familiar with Mitch’s  work sit up and take notice. Presuming there are yearly awards given for  outstanding book design, I’ll be not at all surprised to find this book  topping the list of nominees.

So, summing up: If you’re a fan of  Mitch O’Connell, buy the book. If you’re interested in modern art, buy  the book. If you’re fond of well-designed and executed art books, buy  the book. If you merely want to take a chance on a bold and brilliant  artist, this is the one to pick up...you won’t be disappointed!! 

- A peerless artist, a peerless book 
Mitch O’Connell 8
While many of the pop surrealists or other Lowbrow artists share the same interest in skewering the social, cultural, political, and sexual mores of our consumerist culture, no one –for my money, anyway– does a better, funnier job of sending up the obsessions of the modern world. While his technical skill is beyond reproach, and repeated study of his work will prove this.
I  purchased this book expecting just another glowing biography of yet  another pampered, spoiled, filthy rich, low-brow artist. All I can say  is "I was blind...and now I see!" After reading this man's, no, this  immortals, life story and gazing at his life's work, I declare myself  his humble servant.  

The colors, line work and, most importantly, the  brilliance BEHIND the work, have given my life a purpose. I worship at  the filthy, somewhat ripe feet of my Lord and Savior: Mitch O'Connell.  Mitch, I hope you are reading this. I have scanned the photos from your  book and created wallpaper (no, not digital wallpaper, but actual paper  wallpaper) and covered the walls of my cabin with thousands of images  from your book, and more importantly, you. I now live in my car and only  enter my shrine to you, formally my home, to worship at an alter that I  created that features an 8' paper mache head of you (it came out really  cool- except the left side looks a little droopy and concave. One of my  cats climbed onto it before it was fully dried.). 

If you have any  personal items that you could send me for my alter I would appreciate  it. I would collect your hair, but....! Could you send me some of your  old clothes or maybe some toe nail clippings? I would expect them to be  brightly colored and dipped in glitter, just like your art. I am working  on a life size action figure of you that I can clothe in Holy vestments  so you can perform ceremonies and we can have imaginary conversations-  together! Everyone out there, please, throw away your Bibles and holy  books and pick up Mitch O'Connell The World's Best Artist and let's  commence to worshipping at the Holy Church of Mitch! Amen! 

- This Book Spoke To Me- no kidding it actually talked 
The perfect book to introduce the unsuspecting Cool Kid to the work of Mitch O'Connell!

If  you like hot rods, 1950's comics, kitsch culture, tattoos, big-breasted  women who aren't afraid to spank you when necessary, pink poodle dogs,  aliens, motorcycles and the sarcastic, self-aware humor of one of  America's favorite retro-culture artist, then this is the book for you!

And  it comes wrapped up in a plushy, plastic foam cover that cleans up easy  if splattered with blood, baby vomit or spunk. Or a disgusting  combination of all three!

This book will make you laugh!
This book will tentpole your trousers!
This  book will make you a cooler individual than your lesser friends! I am  cooler than you, because I own this book (and a few other Mitch  O'Connell books too.)

What are you waiting for? Get up on this book! 

- Throw money at your local bookseller for this book! 
Mitch O’Connell 9
If you like hot rods, 1950’s comics, kitsch culture, tattoos, big-breasted women who aren’t afraid to spank you when necessary, pink poodle dogs, aliens, motorcycles and the sarcastic, self-aware humor of one of America’s favorite retro-culture artist, then this is the book for you!
Mitch  O'Connell's latest book, "Mitch O'Connell the World's Best Artist by  Mitch O'Connell", is the BEST and GREATEST book ever penned by the  Master to this date!

Mitch, my friend for over 30 years has created  the world's MOST magical collection of SUPER ART.... yes, the term is  SUPER ART!

Owning his most current book has cured my arthritis. By  reading the pages my 60 year old eyes now possess 20/20 vision. I can  walk without a cane. My elderly wife read it and is now using tampons  again. THE BOOK IS A MIRACLE!!! This modest genius has created the cures  for all maladies of the Human Condition by merely printing the  World's Best Art; HIS World's Best Art and AMAZING LIFE STORY in this  Remarkable 288 page book!

Ladies & Gentlemen throw away your Bibles because THIS IS IT!!!!!!! The only Good Book you will ever need!

You will never EVER get a bigger bang for your $20. 

- GOD'S GIFT TO THE ART WORLD !! 
All  art books have pictures (that's kind of the idea) but how many would  you sit down and read?  Sure, "Mitch O'Connell, the World's Best Artist"  is chock-full of the requisite lifetime's worth of artwork (well, maybe  two-thirds to half a lifetime, he's not dead yet), but it's also  brimming with personal tales and anecdotes filled with witty,  self-deprecating braggadocio, all wrapped in a puffy, sparkly vinyl  cover.  

Not many other (any other?) artists can claim to have been  published in everything from the New York Times to Juggs and you'll  learn that and many other fascinating facts when you read this book.   

Did I mention the puffy, sparkly vinyl cover?  It's an art book which  moonlights as a coaster, which is super-practical (buy a set!).  So, if  you like 60's kitsch, creepy clowns, and big-eyed rabbits (and who  doesn't?) then this is the book for you. 

- The first coffee table book you'll actually read! 
Mitch O’Connell 1
All art books have pictures (that’s kind of the idea) but how many would you sit down and read? Sure, “Mitch O’Connell, the World’s Best Artist” is chock-full of the requisite lifetime’s worth of artwork (well, maybe two-thirds to half a lifetime, he’s not dead yet), but it’s also brimming with personal tales and anecdotes filled with witty, self-deprecating braggadocio, all wrapped in a puffy, sparkly vinyl cover.
I  first saw Mitch's work back in the dark ages - before computers and  t'internet and the writing of book online reviews. It was a "graphic  novel" (trans.: Fat Expensive Comic Book) called GINGER FOX, and I've  been following his work ever since, picking up the odd book or flyer or  cover whenever I came across them. 

Now, all of that scattered detritus  has been collated into one big fat squishy plastic-covered wipe-clean  book. Fatter and more expensive than Ginger Fox, who must be in her  fatter and more expensive mid-50s' by now. 

Mitch has an assured clean  graphic line, a searing sense of eye-popping colour, a healthy interest  in the female form, and a joyous sense of the pop-art poetry inherent in  the commercial ephemera those fancy-pants "high art" snobs just don't  get. I want to delve into the dark recesses of this man's "gentleman's  magazine" collection, but fear I may never emerge... Go buy!! NOW!! 

- Squishy!
I  never in a million years would have thought I'd own this book.  I'm a  fan  and I love art books but my own art has consumed all resources  and  left my book aquiring funds non existent.  Fast forward to my B-day  party this yr  and I get Mitch's book for a gift. So of course  we  immediatly crack it open to take in the mind bending eye candy..  First  words out of my mouth. "danmmit, he IS the Worlds Greatest Artist!"   

Endless hours of entertainment. Known about in France.  As advertised.  All in all pretty stinkin' cool. Color me jealous and inspired all at  the same time. So if you're like me, put it on your wish list, and if  you can buy it  just do it now. You'll be happy you treated yourself. 

- Worlds Greatest Artist, yea right. 

Finally, from Boing Boing...

In 2015 my friend, the fabulous artist Mitch O'Connell, created this  excellent illustration of Donald Trump as one of the evil aliens from  John Carpenter's 1988 science fiction film, They Live. Once Trump became president, Mitch tried to install a billboard with the illustration, but no one in the US would let him. He ended up displaying it in Mexico City, though.
 
 Well, Mitch recently found out that a Times Square billboard company  will allow him to display his illustration on a billboard and he's  started a gofundme campaign to make this dream a reality.  
the fabulous artist Mitch O'Connell, created this  excellent illustration of Donald Trump as one of the evil aliens from  John Carpenter's 1988 science fiction film, They Live. Once Trump became president, Mitch tried to install a billboard with the illustration, but no one in the US would let him.
The fabulous artist Mitch O’Connell, created this illustration of Donald Trump as one of the evil aliens from John Carpenter’s 1988 science fiction film, They Live. Once Trump became president, Mitch tried to install a billboard with the illustration, but no one in the US would let him.

Fictional Story Related Index

This is an index of full text reprints of stories that I have read that influenced me when I was young. They are rather difficult to come by today, as where I live they are nearly impossible to find. Yes, you can find them on the internet, behind paywalls. Ah, that’s why all those software engineers in California make all that money. Well, here they are FOR FREE. Enjoy reading them.

Movies that Inspired Me

Here are some movies that I consider noteworthy and worth a view. Enjoy.

The Seventh Voyage of Sinbad.
Jason and the Argonauts
The Golden Voyage of Sinbad (1973)
The Abominable Dr. Phibes (1971)

Stories that Inspired Me

Here are reprints in full text of stories that inspired me, but that are nearly impossible to find in China. I place them here as sort of a personal library that I can use for inspiration. The reader is welcome to come and enjoy a read or two as well.

Link
R is for Rocket
Space Cadet (Full Text) by Robert Heinlein
Link
Link
Link
Correspondence Course
Link
Link
Link
Link
Link
The Last Night
The Flying Machine
A story of escape.
All Summer in a day.
The Smile by Ray Bradbury
The menace from Earth
Delilah and the Space Rigger
Any Friend of Nicholas Nickleby’s Is a Friend of Mine
Life-Line
The Tax-payer
The Pedestrian
Time for the stars.
Glory Road by Robert Heinlein
Starman Jones (Full Text) by Robert Heinlein.
The Lottery (Full Text) by Shirley Jackson
The Cold Equations (Full Text)
Farnham's Freehold (Full Text) by Robert Heinlein
Invisible Boy (Full Text) by Ray Bradbury
Job: A Comedy of Justice (Full Text) by Robert Heinlein
Spell my name with an "S" by Isaac Asimov
The Proud Robot (Full Text)
The Time Locker
Not the First (Full Text) by A.E. van Vogt
The Star Mouse (Full Text)
Space Jockey (Full Text) by Robert Heinlein
He who shrank (Full Text).
Blowups Happen by Robert Heinlein
Uncle Eniar by Ray Bradbury
The Cask of Amontillado

My Poetry

My Kitten Knows

Art that Moves Me

An experiment of a bird in a vacuum jar.
Robert Williams
Todd Schorr

Articles & Links

You’ll not find any big banners or popups here talking about cookies and privacy notices. There are no ads on this site (aside from the hosting ads – a necessary evil). Functionally and fundamentally, I just don’t make money off of this blog. It is NOT monetized. Finally, I don’t track you because I just don’t care to.

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Sometimes ‘less is more’… unless it’s glitter. Then it’s just… everywhere.

This is an answer that I crafted for Quora today:

It depends entirely on the operating system of your marriage.

Not all marriages run the same software. To figure out the rules, you don’t ask strangers online. You read the terms of service you both agreed to.

Let’s look at the common system architectures.

  • A Secular Marriage.  This is the courthouse special. The state is the sole arbiter. It decides how the union starts, runs, and, often, how it ends. Duties like laundry aren’t dictated by tradition or scripture, but by whatever the two of you negotiate—with the ever-present backdrop of state law ready to step in if negotiations break down. The rulebook is written in legal code.
  • A Religious Marriage.  This union is ordained by a higher authority, announced in a temple or church, and witnessed by a community. The roles—including domestic duties—are often pre-defined by religious law. To understand your duty, you don’t check a marriage license; you consult your faith’s doctrine. The rulebook is written in scripture.
  • A Traditional Marriage.  This is the fading hybrid. A religious ceremony underpinned by secular government authority. The default setting often pulls from older cultural norms, but the final arbitration in any dispute falls to the state. It’s a system with two competing sets of legacy code, which can create… interesting bugs.
  • A Progressive Marriage.  This is the “roll your own” model. There is no default script. Rules are built from scratch, based on the emotions and principles of the moment, and are subject to change without notice. Duties are pure, negotiated choice—until someone’s feelings change the contract. The rulebook is written in pencil.
  • A Contractual Marriage.  This is the standard for the wealthy and the strategically minded. Every contingency—assets, responsibilities, exit clauses—is laid out in explicit, legal detail beforehand. Who washes the clothes would be in Appendix C, Section 4: Domestic Maintenance. The rulebook is a binding, bespoke legal document.

The core of your question assumes there’s a universal answer. There isn’t.

A duty in one system is a choice in another, and a negotiated line item in a third.

So, if you’re standing there looking at the laundry hamper, wondering about your duty, you’re asking the wrong forum. The answer isn’t here.

The answer is in the specific social, legal, and spiritual framework you voluntarily joined. Your duty was defined the moment you chose the type of marriage you entered.

Figure that out, and the laundry question answers itself.

Today…

TOP “Yippee-Ki-Yay MotherF***R” Reactions! Die Hard (1988) Movie Reaction *First Time Watching*

Pioneering Celtic Dictionary Unlocks Ancient Words

Ogham inscriptions on ancient stones from Ireland and Cornwall.

Linguists at Aberystwyth University have launched the first comprehensive dictionary to capture every known word of the Celtic languages spoken in Britain and Ireland between 325 BC and AD 500. The three-year project, funded by the Leverhulme Trust, will gather more than 1,000 ancient Celtic terms from scattered inscriptions, Roman records and early medieval manuscripts.

As Dr. Simon Rodway, the project’s lead, puts it:

“These disparate sources have never before been brought together in a way that offers such an insight into the nature of Celtic languages spoken in these islands at the dawn of the historical period. The picture of the linguistic landscape of Britain and Ireland will be of interest not only to linguists but to historians, archaeologists and archaeogeneticists.”

For scholars and enthusiasts alike, this dictionary isn’t just a lexicon – it’s a bridge to the past, illuminating how ancient Celts thought, traded, and told their stories.

 

Dr. Simon Rodway of Aberystwyth University

Dr. Simon Rodway of Aberystwyth University with a book. (Aberystwyth University)

£300,000 Grant Funds Landmark Study

The £300,000 research grant will support a small team at Aberystwyth’s Department of Welsh and Celtic Studies as they trawl through centuries-old sources. These include around 400 surviving Ogham stones – mostly from Ireland and south-west Wales – plus Celtic personal names, tribal names and place names recorded by Greek and Roman writers.

“Until now, scholars have studied these fragments in isolation,” Dr Rodway told reporters. “By combining every scrap of evidence we can finally see patterns in vocabulary, grammar and sound changes that have never been visible before.”

The Roots of a Lost Legacy

The Celtic languages once echoed across vast swaths of Europe, from the hills of Ireland to the rugged coasts of Gaul. Emerging around 1200 BC from the Proto-Indo-European family, they splintered into branches like Goidelic (ancestors of Irish and Scottish Gaelic) and Brythonic (roots of Welsh and Cornish). Yet, by the Roman era, direct evidence dwindled – Celts favored oral traditions over writing, leaving behind only fragments in inscriptions, place names, and borrowed words in Latin texts. This scarcity has long frustrated linguists, who rely on indirect clues like Julius Caesar’s accounts of Gallic tribes or Greek chroniclers’ notes on Celtic mercenaries. The new dictionary tackles this head-on, drawing from sources dated 325 BC to AD 500, a pivotal window when Celtic speech mingled with invading forces. As Rodway notes in a recent interview with The Guardian:

“We’re dependent on documents that are written either in Latin or Greek, but which contain names of places, ethnic groups or individuals that we can say are Celtic.”

This compilation promises to trace evolutions, such as the shared root for “sea” – môr in Welsh, muir in Old Irish – echoing in ancient place names like Moridunum, or modern Carmarthen.

 

Unearthing Words from Stone and Scroll

At the heart of this linguistic quest lies a treasure trove of inscriptions, particularly those in Ogham, the cryptic script of straight lines notched into edges of stones, bones, or wood. Invented around the 4th century AD, Ogham served as Ireland’s earliest writing system, often marking memorials or boundaries with Primitive Irish phrases like “MAQI MUCOI” (son of the tribe).

The dictionary will weave in over 400 known Ogham stones – 360 from Ireland alone – alongside Roman-era finds from Britain, where Celtic words slipped into soldiers’ letters and administrative ledgers. Less material survives from Ireland, untouched by Roman rule, but gems like the Ratass stone in Kerry blend Ogham with Latin crosses, hinting at early Christian influences.

Ogham stone at Ratass, Ireland.

The ogham stone at Ratass in County Kerry, Ireland. (Kierandoc/CC BY-SA 4.0)

Rodway’s team, funded by a three-year Leverhulme Trust grant, sifts through these relics, cross-referencing with continental evidence like Gaulish tablets. Challenges abound: erosion claims stones yearly, and interpretations vary, but digital 3D scanning offers hope. “People have studied placenames before and a few inscriptions but we’re going to try and get everything together and see what patterns emerge,” Rodway explained.

Beyond vocabulary, patterns may reveal trade routes or migrations, enriching our grasp of Celtic inscriptions.

This project builds on prior efforts, like the OG(H)AM database, which catalogs inscriptions digitally. Yet, it stands apart by integrating Old Irish with ancient British Celtic, potentially debunking fanciful theories on pre-Celtic tongues. As one expert reflected, “A full collection of the available evidence will allow us to sort the wheat from the chaff.” For Ireland, where Ogham dots the landscape from Dingle to Donegal, this means reclaiming voices long silenced.

Bridging Eras: From Ancient Echoes to Modern Tongues

What makes this dictionary transformative is its gaze toward the present. Modern Celtic languages—Irish, Welsh, Scottish Gaelic, Breton, Cornish, Manx—carry ancient DNA, with about a million speakers worldwide. Words like “muir” persist, linking today’s bilingual signs in Galway to Caesar’s Gallic wars. The project evaluates how early Celtic evolved amid invasions, from Viking raids to Norman conquests, and even probes non-Celtic substrates in prehistoric Britain.

Rodway emphasizes its interdisciplinary pull:

“The picture of the linguistic landscape of Britain and Ireland will be of interest not only to linguists but to historians, archaeologists and archaeogeneticists.”

Imagine archaeologists cross-checking DNA from Celtic graves against linguistic migrations, or educators using the dictionary to revive fading dialects in Welsh schools.

Printed and online versions will democratize access, fostering apps for Ogham translation or virtual tours of inscription sites. In a world racing toward monolingualism, this work honors resilience – Celtic tongues endured where Latin faltered. As Rodway shared, “It’s extremely exciting to lead this project and pen the first dictionary of this kind.” It reminds us that language isn’t mere words; it’s the thread weaving identity, myth, and memory. For those tracing Celtic myths, this lexicon unlocks doors to bards’ tales and druids’ chants, proving ancient Celtic isn’t lost  it’s waiting to be spoken anew.

Top image: Ogham inscriptions on ancient stones from Ireland and Cornwall.  Source: Handout/ The Guardian

By Gary Manners

Tandoori Murgh

Tandoori Murgh is one of Northern India’s most popular dishes, and for good reason. The yogurt-marinated chicken is cooked over hot coals in a special clay oven called a tandoor. Traditionally, whole chickens are used, but this recipe also works well with thighs, boneless breasts or drumsticks. While the delicious smoky flavor from the tandoor is hard to beat, you can also get great results using your home oven or grill. Chicken is the most popular Tandoori recipe, but you can also use lamb, beef, seafood, fish or vegetables.

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9a24507df452b54650f6dbe061b998ff

Tandoori Murgh

Prep: 25 min – Cook: 2 hr 20 min – Yield: 4 to 6 servings

Ingredients

Ghee

  • 8 tablespoons Cabot Unsalted Butter, to make 5 to 6 tablespoons of Ghee

Chicken

  • 1 whole frying chicken (3 to 4 pounds) cut up or 3 1/2 pounds chicken breast halves, skin on
  • 2 teaspoons coriander seeds or 2 teaspoons coriander powder
  • 1 teaspoon cumin seeds or 1 teaspoon cumin powder
  • 1 inch piece of ginger root, roughly chopped or 1/2 teaspoon ginger powder
  • 3 garlic cloves, roughly chopped
  • 1 small onion, roughly chopped
  • 1 cup Cabot Plain Greek Yogurt
  • 2 tablespoons lemon juice
  • 2 teaspoons garam masala
  • 1 teaspoon paprika

Instructions

Ghee

  1. Melt 8 tablespoons, or 1 stick, of Cabot Unsalted Butter in a saucepan over low heat, being careful not to let it brown at any point in time.
  2. Increase the heat to high and bring to a boil. When the surface is covered with foam, stir immediately and reduce the heat to a very low simmer. Let simmer for 30 to 45 minutes without stirring. When the butter on top is nice and clear pour the ghee into a bowl through a sieve lined with cheesecloth. The idea is that the ghee must be totally clear and contain no milk solids. Ghee can be kept in a jar and sealed in the refrigerator for months.

Chicken

  1. Dry the chicken pieces with a paper towel and arrange in a single layer in a glass baking dish. Set aside while making the marinade.
  2. Heat a small frying pan over low heat and toast the coriander and cumin seeds for a minute or so. Be sure and shake the pan constantly when toasting the seeds to avoid scorching.
  3. Drop the seeds into the jar of an electric blender, add all of the remaining marinade ingredients and blend until the mixture is reduced to a smooth paste. If you don’t have a food processor or blender you can use coriander powder and cumin powder and just cut the ginger, garlic and onion very fine. The idea is to make the marinade as much like a smooth paste as possible.
  4. Spread the yogurt masala marinade evenly over the chicken pieces with a rubber spatula, cover, refrigerate and let marinate overnight.
  5. Heat the oven to 400 degrees F. *See Notes for instructions on grilling outdoors.
  6. When ready to cook, remove the chicken from the marinade and place on a wire rack in a baking pan and coat the chicken with all but 2 tablespoons of the ghee.
  7. Roast in the center of the oven for 15 to 20 minutes then reduce the heat to 350 degrees F and continue cooking for another hour or until the chicken is done. Before removing the chicken from the oven, baste it with the remaining 2 tablespoons ghee.
  8. Leave rack in the center of the oven, set the oven broiler on high for another 5 minutes to brown and crisp the edges of the chicken. Allow the chicken to rest for 5 minutes before serving.

Notes

* For grilling with a charcoal grill: Place the charcoal on one side of the grill and leave one side as the “cold” side. If using a gas grill, heat only one side, if possible. If not, keep the heat on low. Cook the chicken for about an hour turning every 15 minutes or so.

Nutrition

Per serving: Calories: 610 – 1/6 of recipe: % Daily Value Total Fat: 43g 66% Saturated Fat: 12g 60% Cholesterol: 225mg 75% Sodium: 170mg 7% Carbohydrates: 6g 2% Dietary Fiber: 1g 4% Protein: 60g Calcium: 72mg 8%

Attribution

Recipe courtesy of Jimmy Kennedy at Jimmy Kennedy.

All about the Math

Written in response to: Write a story where a small action from the past has had a huge effect on the future.

Matt Foster

Adventure Drama Science Fiction

 

The only thing worse than the red hue was the cacophony of the klaxon alarms, now passing one solid minute of noise blaring through the cabin.“Silence that damn alarm, specialist!” Jim yelled over his shoulder as he continued scrolling through the touch screen monitor, trying to find what system had failed in the cramped crew capsule.“Copy that,” Buck scrolled through the screen on the other side of the cabin, finally finding the alarm module and clicked ‘silence all alarms.’ The alarms stopped blaring their noise through the cabin, but the red lighting was still present.“I swear, those engineer ass hats spent too much time watching old movies. There is absolutely no damn need for the danger themed mood lighting,” Jim yelled out, realizing too late that he was talking too loud given the sirens stopped.Buck scrolled through the menu and found the setting to restore the lights to their normal bright white.“Safety protocols disabled for visual and audio effects, sir. Have you found the problem?”Jim scanned through two screens at once. He swore it felt like one eye was on each screen like a chameleon.

“It’s that solar flare. Mission Operations team was confident that it would pass through without affecting us. Probably same engineers did the calculations as the ones who think red alert means turn all the lights red.”

Buck continued to work his side of the capsule, scrolling through the monitors and listening for any hiss of escaping air. He heard nothing, aside from his own heavy breathing and that of his captain.

“How much exposure did we get?” Buck asked, starting to go through the charts in his head about radiation exposure. His mind raced through the different levels of known exposures-was it chest x-ray level? CT? Chernobyl? Demon Core? He began to sweat.

Captain Jim read off the readings from one of his monitors. “I can’t tell, yet. A couple of sensors are offline. It was probably high, but short.”

Jim turned slightly, his body still facing forward, “You’re the math genius here, what are you thinking we got exposed to?”

Buck kept working, scrolling through the systems and trying to get a last available reading from the sensors. “I, uh, I don’t know yet,” he stammered as he read through the logs. “The sensor on the nose says nothing, not a rad. Maybe it was just pointed away from the particle stream. Nothing on the door sensor either.” He paused as he continued to scroll through the readings. “All the lower sensors are offline. Nothing. I can’t even tell if they were online-”

Jim cut him off. “Specialist, keep to the facts. What else was recorded?”

Buck closed his eyes, and took a deep breath, all the while thinking about the silence of lethal radiation exposure. He continued searching the sensor logs.

“Sir, the radiation sensors on the reentry shield look like they recorded something. It spiked at,” he paused, and gulped, “eight point seven thousand rads.”

There was silence in the cabin.

“Spec-“, Jim caught himself at the severity of the reading. “Buck, what did you say?”

“Almost nine thousand rads. That’s a demon core level exposure.”

The captain took a long breath to steady himself. Years of training and space flight taught him how to deal with situations like this. He continued staring at his monitors without seeing them.

“Buck, we’re going to be OK. That was only one sensor. The others probably read nothing because there was nothing.”

Buck interrupted his captain, “Captain, this is a supply mission for the Europa flight that turned into an emergency repair trip, with me as the savior of the mission, with all my math skills. Now we’re dead and we don’t even know it yet.”

“Buck, there is nothing the matter with the ship. No breeches of the cabin, no loss of electronics- “

“Except the radiation monitors-“ Buck chimed in.

The captain kept his cool and continued, “Yes, except for a few sensors. “We’re only-“ he paused and looked at the mission clock, “47 hours away from our rendezvous with the Europa shuttle. We’re going to get there, and we’re going to be OK.”

“I’ve been exposed, sir, I might not make it.” Buck’s breathing picked up a little, not quite hyperventilating.

“Yes, we both have exposure but we are both protected. The crew capsule is lined with Kevlar and aluminum. We have our deep space suits if we need them. Even our jump suits are Kevlar. C’mon, Buck, do your math! We have protection against short bursts of radiation.”

Buck said nothing.

The captain turned around, forcing a smile to try and break his crewmate out of this spiral.

When he turned around, he looked at Buck’s jump suit, and his smile faded.

It was a beige jumpsuit; one issued by NASA during the training on the ground. Same beige, same number of pockets and same zipper that went from crotch to neck.

But, Jim realized that it was not the flight-ready jump suit. The one with Kevlar and interwoven fibers of polyethylene that could reduce radiation exposures to a fraction of the original dose.

“Buck, what are you wearing?”

Buck said nothing, just sitting in silence contemplating his own mortality.

“Buck?”

Buck began tearing up, already feeling a hot rash across his body. “I switched out my flight jumpsuit with the one from training right before the flight. It was too itchy, and I couldn’t concentrate to do the calculations. The odds were in my favor.”

Jim’s mind raced. His sole duty was to bring the supplies to the Europa shuttle, but more importantly, NASA gave up 420 pounds of supplies to send a 183 pound specialist and his necessities to the Europa shuttle orbiting Mars to update the navigation algorithms and rewrite the software. It couldn’t be done remotely; it had to be Buck and his unique skills.

Buck looked up at his captain, tears rolling off his rapidly reddening face as the acute radiation poisoning started to break down his skin. “I’m all about the math. But I’m not so good at packing for a trip, sir.”

Jim leaned against the wall. All his years of training did not prepare him to watch a man die of radiation poisoning over the next 24 hours, much less telling the fate of the Europa crew that they were going to be in Mars orbit for a very, very long time.

Sir Whiskerton and the Glitterpocalypse Now – A Tale of Sparkle, Surrender, and the Sheer Audacity of “Eco-Friendly, Duh!”

Ah, dear reader—prepare your monocle (wiped clean of residual glitter), adjust your sequins (they’re not optional), and shake out your tail one last time before the shimmer sets in.

Today’s story does not begin with a quack, a snort, or even a kazoo blast.
It begins with the soft, ominous hiss of an industrial-grade glitter cannon.
And a single, world-ending phrase:

“It’s, like, eco-friendly, duh!”

So grab your biodegradable goggles, dear friends—and step shimmering into Sir Whiskerton and the Glitterpocalypse Now.


Act I: The Renovation That Wasn’t Requested

It began, as all great disasters do, on a Tuesday.

The Valley Chicks—Tiffany, Brittany, and Amber-Louise III—had been commissioned (by whom remained unclear, though Mr. Ducky later denied all knowledge while wearing a sequined vest) to “refresh the barn’s aesthetic.”

Their proposal?

“Phase 1: Demolition (of boring vibes).
Phase 2: Glitter. All of it.
Phase 3: ???
Phase 4: Profit (in compliments).”

Sir Whiskerton—sunbathing on the roof, blissfully unaware—first noticed something amiss when Bessie’s tie-dye swirls began to pulse.

“Whoa… man…” she murmured, gazing at her hooves. “Is the universe… disco?”

Then came the hiss.

From the hayloft—WHOOSH!—a cannon of pure, shimmering iridescence erupted, coating the barn in a fine, prismatic mist.

Tiffany, goggles flared, fist raised:

“Behold! The first 100 gallons of artisanal, plant-based, marine-safe glitter! It’s FDA-approved, duh.
“Approved! Approved!” echoed Ditto—who had already become a walking disco ball mid-cartwheel.

Sir Whiskerton blinked. Once. Twice.
His pristine black fur—now stardust in C-sharp.

“Tiffany,” he said, voice dangerously calm, “what have you done?”
“Done! Done!” echoed the barn, refracting in 17 directions.


Act II: The Sparkle Spreads (Like a Biodegradable Plague)

What followed was the most beautiful disaster in farm history.

  • Porkchop, attempting to roll in mud for “moisture balance,” emerged as The Glitter Hog—a shimmering, snorting sculpture of avant-garde swine art.
  • Ferdinand, mid-aria, hit a high C—and exhaled a cloud of gold dust. The geese wept (sparkling tears).
  • The scarecrow, once stoic, now winked—his straw hat catching light like a disco sun.
  • Slow Bob the Turtle achieved maximum velocity trying to outrun a glitter gust—and glided 12 feet across the yard, leaving a trailing comet of eco-shimmer.

Worst of all:
The feed bin.
The farmer, returning from town, stared at the glistening mound.

“Huh. New ‘Party Mix’ branding?”
He scooped a glitter-dusted scoop.
“Ooh. Limited edition.”

Rufus ate three bowls.

“Tastes like… victory. And sequins.”

Sir Whiskerton’s final straw?
A single, rogue glitter flake lodged in his monocle.

“I am NOT a statement piece!” he hissed—only to sneeze, sending a mini supernova into Doris’s feathers.

“I’M METALLIC?!” she shrieked. “Oh, I can’t bear it—SHINE!


Act III: The Cleanup (Or: How Science Met Its Match)

Enter Professor Quackenstein, clipboard trembling, goggles fogged.

“Fear not! I’ve developed the De-Glitrinator 9000a vortex-powered, oat-based, fully vegan glitter neutralizer!”
He wheeled in a machine cobbled from a washing machine, a salad spinner, and Bartholomew the Piñata’s spare confetti chute.

He pressed GO.

The machine whirred…
gurgled
sneezed
—and sprayed the barn with chamomile-glitter slurry, turning everyone pastel.

“Uh… version 1.1 coming soon,” he muttered.

Then—Zephyr floated down, lava lamp pulsing rose quartz.

“Brother Whiskerton… sometimes, the only way out… is through.”
He raised a paw.
“Let the sparkle be.”

And just like that—the farm leaned in.

  • Bessie led a Groovy Glow-Meditation: “Breathe in glitter… exhale ✨.”
  • Jazzpurr hosted “The Bedazzled Beat”—bongos strung with reflective tape.
  • Even Sir Whiskerton, tail flicking with reluctant rhythm, allowed one tiny, sequined nap on the roof.

“Fine,” he murmured. “But I draw the line at glitter in my tea.”
“Tea!” echoed Ditto—who had just dunked his head in fermented chamomile sparkle.
He emerged grinning: “Tastes like… stardust and tuna!”


The Moral of the Story

That evening, as the farm glimmered under moonlight like a constellation of confused fireflies, Sir Whiskerton gathered the animals—not to scold, but to reflect.

“The moral of the story, dear reader, is this:
Sometimes ‘less is more’… unless it’s glitter. Then it’s just… everywhere.
Tiffany’s vision was chaotic, ill-advised, and technically a bio-hazard (per Percy’s Post-Crisis Report). But in its absurdity, it reminded us: joy doesn’t always come in tidy packages. Sometimes, it arrives in 500 gallons of biodegradable sparkles—and sticks to your fur for three weeks.
So go ahead. Be a little extra. Just… maybe test the cannon on Gnomeo first.”

Doris, now iridescent lavender, sighed dreamily.

“I’ve never felt so seen.”
“Seen! Oh, I can’t bear it!”


Post-Credit Scene

Later, Chef Remy unveiled his latest invention:

“Glitter-Gut Soothing Muffins™”
(“Guaranteed to pass sparkle naturally—or cause temporary rainbows.”)

Mr. Ducky opened a pop-up shop:

“Post-Apocalyptic Glamour”
—featuring:
Glitter-Coated Turnips (“Now with 200% more pizzazz!”)
• *Monocle Wipes (Limited Edition: “Still Sparkly”)
The “I Survived the Glitterpocalypse” T-shirt (Glow-in-the-Dark)

And Sir Whiskerton?
He sat atop the barn, tail curled, fur catching the stars.

“Next time,” he murmured, “we install a glitter lock on the hayloft.”
“Lock! Lock!” echoed Ditto—from inside a floating bubble of iridescent soap.

Somewhere, faintly—the Valley Chicks began planning “The Velvetpocalypse.”


Roti

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7ec849ddb02f977d0ebc0c1dcdc14581

Roti recipe

Yield: 12 chapathis

Ingredients

  • 2 cups durum wheat flour
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • 3/4 cup water
  • 1 tablespoon vegetable oil

Instructions

  1. In a medium bowl, stir together the flour, salt, water and oil until the mixture pulls away from the sides. Turn the dough out onto a well-floured surface. Knead until smooth and pliable, about 10 minutes.
  2. Heat an unoiled cast iron skillet or tava to medium high heat.
  3. Divide dough into 12 equal parts, form into rounds and cover with a damp cloth. Flatten the balls with the palm of your hand, then use a rolling pin to roll out each piece into a 6 to 8 inch diameter round.
  4. Cook the roti for 1 minute before turning over, then turn again after another minute. The roti should have some darker brown spots when finished.
  5. Best served warm.

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Tin tin Full episode 6

A Good Situation

Written in response to: Write a dual-perspective story or a dual-timeline story.

Gary Diehl

Fiction Indigenous Science Fiction

A Good SituationTranslator:I remember when we first met them. They were nervous. That was understandable. So were we. It took a while for them to become comfortable with us. Some of them never would be, but that’s OK, we were the same way.We had hoped they would be welcoming, maybe even grateful. And at first they seemed to be. “We’re so glad you’re here, they said. “We really need your help.” But that didn’t last. Once we began our work, they barely noticed us. Occasionally nods or awkward smiles were all we got.___

 

I remember when we first met them. They were different of course. We had to tell the kids not to make a big deal out of it. Not to stare. But of course they did, kids being kids and all. “You know, inside they are just the same as us.” we would tell them. “They have families just like we do. But their families are a long way away right now and they probably miss each other.” If I’m being completely honest, we had no idea what their families were like, or even if they had families. But it seemed like a good thing to tell the kids. Make it seem like deep down, we’re all the same.

 

We didn’t talk with them much – just the details of the work usually. Once, one of us did try to strike up a casual conversation. It didn’t go well. They don’t get sarcasm, puns and metaphors, like we do. They had no interest in our pop culture and we had no interest in what they did outside of work. We didn’t have a lot in common – obviously.

 

___

 

Translator:

We did our best to fit in. Not socially of course. It’s not like they were going to invite us over to their homes for a cookout or something. Culturally we were not capable of meshing with them. Ours is so much different and theirs is so hard for us to understand. They would try to engage with us sometimes but what they would say didn’t make any sense. At least to us. I’m sure we were supposed to react in some way, but we didn’t know in what way. So we would just stare at them. We didn’t know what else to do. I think that made them uncomfortable so mostly we just stayed apart and continued our work

 

___

 

They were hard workers, I’ll give them that. They always showed up on time and finished the jobs before leaving for the day. I was never sure where they would go when they were done. They would come and leave together. And if there was more work on certain days, there would be more of them that showed up. They were an ambitious group. It seemed like they were always looking for more work. Any kind of work. They started doing more than just the simple jobs. As it turned out they could do more complicated jobs as well. That was fine with us. The more they did, the less we had to do. I suppose looking back on it, that was where we made the mistake.

 

___

 

Translator:

It seemed there was no limit to the amount of work they had for us. It was like they were getting lazier and lazier. We would reliably clean up their messes. And there were a lot of messes to clean up. We all thought it was unbelievable that they lived in such a beautiful place but they didn’t seem to care if they ruined it. But that’s why we were there, to clean everything up and make it look nice again. We all were a little envious of what they had, and it was upsetting to see how little they appreciated it. But we knew the more they ignored their problems, the more they needed us and the more of us they needed. It was a good situation. So more of us came and went wherever the work took us.

 

___

 

Before long, it seemed like they were everywhere doing all sorts of jobs. They worked cheap, they worked hard and as long as they understood their role it was a good situation. It gave us plenty more time for leisure activities, or just to spend time, haha, not working. Of course some people started to worry they were taking jobs away from us. But honestly, for the most part they were doing jobs we couldn’t or didn’t want to do. We needed them and they were happy to be here.

 

___

 

Translator:

We were happy to be here doing the work they didn’t want to do. In some areas it got to a point where they had completely forgotten how to do the work. We didn’t. So we were their only option. We would do a job and then they would ask if we could do another, maybe different job. Of course we could. More of us came. Occasionally someone would comment, “There sure are a lot of you here now aren’t there?” We would just smile and nod. Experience though had taught us to expect what was coming next.

 

___

 

Eventually people started to realize how many of them were here and how dependent we had become on them. It was concerning. There was talk of sending them back but we really didn’t know how to go about doing that. And they just kept coming. We had never thought to put in place any rules about how many could come and what they would do. It was easier to look the other way and let someone else be in charge.

 

___

 

Translator:

Sure, there were some of them that weren’t happy about us being here. They wanted us to go back. But then others would point out that without us there would be no one to do the work. We were a necessity for their society to continue to function. Becoming invaluable to others is how we continue to thrive. Sure, we took some liberties with the back stories – all the hardships we had to overcome to get here, how we were only trying to make a better life for ourselves. Each time the stories were a little different, to fit the culture. Here they really were very kind and caring. The hardship story played well.

 

___

 

I think they were playing on our emotions with stories about how dangerous their journey to get here was and how difficult their lives were before. We didn’t know if any of that was true. It could have been but none of us knew where they actually came from. No one bothered to ask. That’s on us.

 

There were others who started to claim they were dangerous – with stories on the news about crimes they allegedly committed. I never saw them do anything wrong. I think a lot of those stories were made up. But there sure were a lot of them. If they were like us, there would certainly be a few of them that were undesirable in such a large population. But they weren’t like us. I don’t know why we didn’t notice that sooner.

 

___

 

Translator:

They tried to turn public opinion against us at one point, claiming that we were dangerous and were committing crimes. A larger percentage of people believed that than I would have thought. They didn’t realize that we are not like them – we are incapable of causing harm to others. We don’t accomplish our goals through war and violence. Our ways are far more subtle and effective.

 

As is always the case, they eventually realized what was going on, but, as is also always the case, it was too late. We had a new world to live on. We had transformed it and made it beautiful again. We had hoped they would be grateful and some were. Others were not but they would come around, they always did. It would be a good situation, as long as they understood their new role.

 

___

 

I forget when I first realized what had happened. I think I was in a crowd somewhere when it struck me the predominant skin color was no longer white, black or anything in between. It was clearly green. Humans were a minority on our own planet. Granted, it was a beautiful planet now. They had gotten rid of all the pollution and climate issues. All the war and violence. We have unlimited clean energy. We are all incredibly healthy. Our leaders are no longer in charge, but I have to admit, I think that is a good thing. They are what put us in the position of needing them in the first place. Not all, but most of us appreciate the new world we have. All in all, it’s a good situation.

 

___

 

Translator:

I forget how long it was after they understood what had happened when one of them approached me. I had braced for anger—or at least resentment. Instead she moved toward me slowly, almost shy, unsure whether she should speak. I told her it was all right, that I could understand her.

 

“I just want to say… thank you,” she said. “Things are better now. I don’t think we realized what we had—or how close we came to losing it. Many of us are grateful.”

 

I nodded. “Yes. It is a good situation”